kakashixhatakesxwhore

[kakashixhatakesxwhore]

A Short Conversation

Pairing: Hidan x f!reader

Summary: You were just being a regular sister of a Zen'i temple, cleaning the floor, when someone enters the marble hall and makes a mess. To avoid more mess on the floor, you have a short conversation with him.

W/c: 1.2k-esque

Warnings: couples swears, Hidan calls reader a bitch at one point but you handle that shit, lotsa death talk and blood talk - reader hardcore accepts shit tout suite

A/n: heyyyyy... heyyy... [explanation for my absence] + idk what this is i was biten by an inspo bug - lmk if it sucks

Masterlist💿

He had a crazed look in his eye from the moment he entered your temple.

The traveler looked wildly out of place, but your temple's matron would happily accept anybody into the marble halls that you were scrubbing when he arrived. By grace of your assigned chore, you alone got to witness his entrance and receiving.

It was wonderful that your sisters weren't present, because your matron got no more than five words out before the traveler sliced her neck.

Your matron's blood was so viscous that it seeped down her cotton robes and touched the ground before her body fell.

Crimson kissed the marble that you had just cleaned.

"Sorry about the mess," the man said directly to you.

When you looked at him, his smile screamed insincerity, but the miraculous black-and-white design that adorned his face begged you to scream.

You didn't.

You just kept breathing, thanking Fortuna for each breath which your matron was refused.

"Did you get your tongue cut out?" The man inquired, looking annoyed. "Is that why they have you scrubbing floors?"

"My tongue's perfectly fine," you said on an exhale. You focused on his eyes - his pretty, brown eyes - and steeled yourself enough to say, "I'm just completing my daily chore, sir."

Something made him stall for a second, before he chuckled, "Jashin will reward me for getting rid of you ignorant pacifists."

You perked up a bit.

"You're a Jashinist?" You inquired aloud. He gave you a plain look, to which you proposed, "I'll make a deal with you."

"I don't make deals with the people I kill, bitch," he spat.

You scoffed, "Fine, then fucking kill me, but don't call me a bitch when I've done nothing to warrant it."

Closing your eyes, you awaited his blade, thankful that you got the warning your matron was refused. You began to pray internally, glorifying Fortuna a final time before you were judged by her, and kept praying, and kept praying, and kept praying.

And you kept praying for so long that you opened your eyes, wondering what he was playing at.

"What's your deal?" He asked from across the hall, no closer than he was before, and sounding almost regretful.

But, you shook your head and said, "It doesn't matter. Kill me, please."

"Do you ladies get off on dying without resistance?" He asked, a hint of humour in his voice.

"Ladies," you snickered, closing your eyes and shaking your head again. "That's much nicer than ignorant pacifists."

"You're all both," he attested petulantly. "And I hate both."

"Then kill me."

In an instant, a cold hand was squeezing your arm, hard enough to bruise for days. It wasn't enough to kill you, but it dragged you to your feet.

You peeked your eyes open, then had to readjust your head to look up at him, standing so close. He smelled so much like the forest and so little like blood, you wondered if your matron was his first kill of the day.

"It's almost night," you murmured.

"And?" He prompted you, lip curled.

"How many people have you killed for Jashin today?" You asked, making the traveler's eyebrow quirk instantly.

He shook his head, trying to manufacture some credibility with a falsely cocky smirk. He announced, "I've killed more people than you have fingers, today alone, but that is none of your business."

"You don't travel with any sect, do you?" You asked, brushing past the lie.

"What the fuck is- who are you?" He asked, incredulous.

You smiled, "I'm a member of the Zen'i. We follow Fortuna, and believe in her principles of karma, knowledge, and nature."

"Ah, the three K's," he hummed with a nod.

That got a stupid chuckle out of you, which had a strange effect on the stranger.

He smiled, then fought it immediately, but seemed to be losing the battle. The black and white decoration began to fade slowly as his eyes traced over your face.

"What's your deal?" He asked again, lowly this time.

"I just wanted to ask you about Jashinism, before you cut me up," you replied sheepishly, looking down. "But, uh, that would probably... take too long."

"No, no, I have time," he told you, pulling you down the hall to where you hadn't yet cleaned. "Let's sit, talk... I'll answer all your questions."

With a timid nod, you accepted the situation and nudged him toward a prayer room. It was vacant, but your sisters would certainly hear every word of your conversation with the echo in the room.

Both of you settled into the bench at the very back of the room, with the traveler facing you and you facing the altar.

"So, ask away," he said, motioning for you to speak.

Your first question was his name; though he laughed at your request, he eventually gave it to you.

Hidan.

"How old are you?" You asked next.

"A lot older than you, pretty lady," he responded with a residual smirk and softened eye.

You shook your head and huffed, "That's not an answer."

"I don't remember, okay?" Hidan chuckled. "It's been a while since my age has been important. Ask me about Jashin."

So you did.

You asked about His doctrine; His virtues, if they were even called that within Jashinism. You asked about figures and figureheads; necessary sacraments and testaments. You instigated a heated debate over the credibility of prophets, which ended in a discussion of the Zen'i religion.

Hidan clung to your every word, getting physically closer and closer to you as you both spoke. His thigh was pressed against yours by the end, with his arm slung across the back of the bench, curling around you.

"So, you just exist?"

"With fortune," you told him. "We believe in aiding Fortuna's will, not imposing our own."

"Sounds helpless," he said.

"Sounds more peaceful than what you've got going on," you countered.

Hidan smiled at that, nodding softly.

After a silent moment, you asked him, "Are you going to kill me now?"

"No," he replied quickly.

"My sisters?" You asked.

"No," he answered, albeit a bit less thrilled. "I've got to go, I've spent too much time here."

It had come to be very late in the night.

You nodded slowly, "Okay. Let me walk you out."

He agreed, and you both stood. Without a rush, you both left the prayer room, and walked down the hall.

Your matron's body was gone, her blood with her. Not even a mark remained to remind you of the life lost, none but the mark in your mind.

"I'm sorry," Hidan said suddenly, as you stared at the marble.

You shook your head and looked at him. "It was for Jashin."

"For Jashin," he agreed, though more hollowly than you reckoned he had ever before. "Well, goodbye."

"Thank you for speaking with me and sparing me," you bid him. "Safe travels, Hidan."

"I'll visit you," he said, inching toward the entrance.

"Don't feel obligated," you smiled.

Once he reached the top step to your temple, he waved and you waved back.

Then, Hidan left, without a mark to remember him by - none but the mark in your mind.

[kakashixhatakesxwhore]

mmm as much as i love kakashi, i feel like itachi would give you the best kisses...

hear me out!

kisses with itachi would be slow when you need them to be - they would be sensual and sweet, filled with overwhelming emotion that could almost bring a tear to your eye...

but... on the other hand...

kisses with itachi would be fast when you need them to be - they would be passionate and frenzied, brimming with wild need that would threaten to consume you within the moment...

then... off the cuff...

kisses with itachi would be rich, always - flush with desire, confidence... joy... because he's got you, and he couldn't be happier about it.

[kakashixhatakesxwhore]

im just thinking about anbu!kakashi... your ex-boyfriend...

he couldn't be everything he thought you deserved, he couldn't provide everything he thought you needed, he couldn't reach the standard he thought you required - so, after well-over a year of trying his goddamn best, he could smash your heart into pieces so gently...

he was shocked when you put on a quaint smile and wished him the best, something behind your gaze actively crumbling...

it was amicable, but neither of you could stand to be near each other... both of you would fall silent, submerged in churning vats of feelings, that you both were trying to suppress, but to no avail...

oh, what a scene; crying in the market square, for no apparent reason...

but, one night, after he returned from a long, faraway mission, you woke up to a firm knock on your door, in a rhythm that hadn't graced your ears for many moons...

the assassination specialist would be there, and would collapse into your arms once you opened the door - he had experienced something awful, which could only ever bring his other awful experiences to the forefront of his mind, that was all you knew - but you would take him in your arms so graciously, as if he had never told you he couldn't love you anymore...

hell, kakashi would let you strip him down to his boxers, in the silence of the night, just like you had been doing for eighteen months, before the excruciating intermission...

and it would only be an intermission, because he would have been being tortured in those months; every thought, conscious or not, had been entirely consumed by you, in a much more doleful manner that before...

he wouldn't be able to go on...

would you take him back?

[kakashixhatakesxwhore]

hey...

i have a couple stupid drafts, wanna see them?

[kakashixhatakesxwhore]

Poor Communication

Pairing: fwb!Kakashi x f!Reader, Iruka x f!Reader

Summary: During a risqué rendez-vous with Kakashi, he loses himself and goes a bit too far. He leaves you upset and you get pepped up by local sweetheart, Iruka Umino. When he gets back, Kakashi is miffed, but who is he to get in the way of a smile he'd never seen so bright?

W/c: 2.1k

Warnings: Cursing, mean-mean things said about the reader as your inner dialogue, sexual subject material but no real smut, jealousy

A/n: uh i got nothing lmk if this sucks or if you want a pt 2

Masterlist💿

Something pained you, in the pit of your chest and on your left buttcheek.

You didn't even want to look at him while you put your clothes on. But, then again, why would you want to look at him, right now?

The lights flickered on and you turned your head sharply away from him. The tears that teetered on your waterline were ready to fall, but they could be held back if you just didn't look at him - easier said than done.

"I was-"

"I have to go," you said quickly, standing up as you pulled on your skirt.

The words he was forming caught in his throat and Kakashi started again, "Where-"

"Home," you nipped. "My house."

"Okay," he said slowly.

And that was that.

He let you leave with no resistance, because why wouldn't he? Why would he notice something being wrong with you, let alone inquire? Why would he sprinkle a smidge more care into your regular arrangement after smacking you around like he never had before?

It was like he hated you.

Ah, fuck, he probably did the entire time - you were just too fucking dumb to pick up on it. Even though you weren't properly in a relationship with him, your stupid ass deluded yourself into thinking he actually kind of liked you. And it took you until he smacked your ass so hard that he drew blood to realize he never actually would? Ha! What a desperate, loveless bitch - absolutely fucking pitiful beyond belief!

You were thanking the stars that he was sent out on a long-haul mission the very next day.

You wouldn't have to see him for a while.

Which meant you could forgive yourself for how stupid you had been, while your asscheek healed.

But, you refused to forget. You couldn't forget.

How could you forget how fucking idiotic you were? Sharp as a fucking marble, you stupid cunt. How-

Every night, for weeks, just before you closed your eyes, that voice in your head would make you cry. It would say awful things, just to make you sob so hard that you would pass out for the night. You'd wake up with your eyes practically glued shut, which only ever made you feel worse.

It was like you were an alcoholic, but you had swapped booze for a deeply rooted self-hatred.

You were drowning in your sadness, almost willfully, for weeks. Only the veil of mortality separated you from a ghost as you floated hither and tither, around the village, alone, for weeks.

Weeks.

Drowning, until you met a lifeguard.

"Baking something sweet, soon?" Iruka asked you with a dazzling smile as you held a sack of sugar in the middle of a refinery.

"Oh, no," you replied, staring at his grin as if it were foreign. "I drink a lot of sencha."

"Cripes," he chortled easily. "You'll get a few cups out of that sack, eh?"

Unbelievably, you found a small chuckle coming from your throat. You tore your eyes away from his mouth and, in a softer voice, you hummed, "Maybe a few... but something sweet would be nice, wouldn't it?"

"Well, I'm quite the baker, if you ever want a hand," Iruka said without edge.

You took him up, and he had asked you on a date before the cookies were in the oven, the next day.

With as sweet of a voice as you could muster, you told him you couldn't - that you were quite interested - but you couldn't, not yet.

Iruka smiled, to your surprise, and told you that was just fine, that he would wait for you.

Smartly, you didn't believe him. You readied yourself to see him on the town with someone else soon. Of course, you hoped and prayed that Iruka wouldn't let you down, that he wasn't just trying to get something on, but you didn't let yourself delude yourself again.

Instead of letting you down, Iruka began to build you up.

He took you out, all over the village, palling around - to izakayas, to plays, to open valleys, to the simple market square. Iruka never tried to hide you - no - he flaunted his friendship with you, like you were desirable.

It was very unlike another man, who had made sure to keep your meetings absolutely secret, who had only ever wanted to fuck you for entire evenings then act like a regular stranger in the day.

So, when Iruka asked you on another date, a month and change into your blossoming friendship, you took him up happily. That said, your smile couldn't have rivalled his, as it stretched ear to ear.

"Really?" He asked in a light voice. "Are you sure?"

"I'm really sure," you grinned.

Finally, you and Iruka were going steady.

He took you on date after date, though they only felt slightly different to the old hangs. You took that as a comfort, because you two had properly become friends before you had done anything even slightly risqué.

That was the obvious difference between your two most recent relationships; Iruka waited ages to touch you. And, when he did, he was sweet, calm, like he had a goal other than his own release in mind. There was no pain.

You liked it.

You liked it so much that your mind wholly shifted, got calmer, less painful.

..••°°°°••..

"Would you rather broccoli or cauliflower tonight?" Iruka asked gently as he rose from the table set the two of you were sitting at.

"Probably broccoli, unless you were hoping I'd say cauliflower," you murmured with a small grin.

Iruka smiled and took a step toward you. He leaned down to kiss the tip of your nose, humming, "Broccoli sounds wonderful."

You leaned up to connect your lips with his. His smile grew as his lips pressed against yours.

"You're wonderful," you replied as Iruka straightened. "What can I-"

"Don't worry about it, sweetheart," he chuckled, walking over to the kitchen. "It'll be an easy dinner tonight; let me serve you like you deserve."

Blood rushing to your face bashfully, you snickered a small curse and shook your head.

Then, there was a frantic knock on Iruka's door.

He poked his head out of the kitchen, eyebrows furrowed. "Could you...?"

"Yeah-" You were cut off by another series of knocks, now even more solid.

Face contorted in confusion, you went over to the door. Iruka went back into the kitchen and you could hear the faucet run. Just as another round of knocks rattled the doorframe, you screwed the doorknob right and swung open the door.

"Umino, we-" Kakashi's wide eye got impossibly wider as it jumped around your face. "What... Why aren't you...?"

For some reason, he couldn't choke anything out. Typical.

"Why am I not what?" You scoffed. With a roll, your eyes landed on Guy, behind Kakashi, and you smiled sardonically at him, "Hello, by the way."

"Hi," he replied meekly, before Kakashi stood in front of him.

He was trying to get your eyes on him, but you leveled your head to stare straight through his chest.

"Why are you here?" Kakashi asked critically, like he had anything to be mad about.

"I'm spending the night with Iruka," you remarked with a slight contempt. "And why the fuck are you here?"

It was a great question; one that Kakashi seemed to not have an answer for. He seemed to be particularly tongue-tied today. In the beat of silence, you looked up at the silver haired shinobi.

His face was unreadable, as per fucking usual. The only thing that gave you any inkling of how he felt in the moment was the sound of his breath.

He was breathing so shallowly, you thought he was hardly drawing breath at all.

"Well?" You prompted, your voice coming out a bit more hollowly than you would have liked. "Do you want me to get Iru-"

"No," Kakashi said heavily. "It's fine."

"Peachy." With a slight nod, you took a step back from the door. "Alright, then, uh... you two have a... a night."

"Thanks," he spat, coal black eye turning even darker.

You shut the door as politely as you could and then sighed as deeply as you needed to. When you turned, you were met with Iruka in the kitchen's doorframe, a frown etched on his face.

Perhaps you and Iruka needed to have a chat...

• • • • • • •

"Have a night?" He scoffed for the fifteenth time. "Have a fucking night? What the fuck does that even mean?"

"It means you shouldn't drink yourself into alcohol poisoning tonight," Guy reasoned, pulling the blue bottle away from Kakashi. "What's this? Bottle number four? Don't you want to wake up tomorrow?"

"No," Kakashi said bitterly.

Guy just sighed, sliding the unfinished sake bottle to the other end of the table, "I don't understand what the issue is. She was missing, then we found her - you still haven't even told me why you thought she was missing in the first place, when she was just at her boyfriend's-"

"He's not her boyfriend," Kakashi interjected tersely.

Guy delivered a flat look. "She wouldn't spend the night with someone who wasn't her boyfriend."

Kakashi knew that wasn't entirely true, but he pursed his lips to keep from telling Guy about the innumerable nights you had spent together.

He didn't want you to be known as someone who would spend the night with someone who wasn't her boyfriend; that was a reputation blow you didn't need.

Instead, he simply stated, "She never called him her boyfriend. It was just, Iruka."

"Woah, Kakashi," Guy chuckled playfully, though a flash of seriousness darted behind his eye. "Why are you saying his name like he's your rival? Shouldn't we be happy that poor, virgin, Iruka is finally getting some action?"

The thought made his skin crawl and Kakashi thought he understood what his issue was.

He hated the image of someone else touching you.

Oh, selfish, sure - but laughable. You weren't his, he had no claim over you. Stars, what a fool, so whipped over some puss - he was swimming in muff.

Why did he even limit himself to you in the first place?

Well... because you had a different kind of pussy... the kind of pussy that coaxed wild amounts of cum out of Kakashi... the kind of pussy that no other bitch could attain with any amount of kegel exercise... the kind of pussy that Kakashi could get lost in for hours, then could bring him back just as fantastically.

He wanted you bouncing on his cock, and his cock, alone.

"Hello, Earth to," Guy snipped, snapping his fingers in front of Kakashi's unfocused eye. Kakashi looked at him seriously and Guy sighed, leaning over the table, "You really aren't happy for Iruka, huh? Why?"

"I am," Kakashi lied, though poorly. So poorly that it threw him off. "I just... she should... she was my medic."

"She was reassigned to a different grouping years ago," the dark haired man laughed. "You haven't seen her as a medic in forever. Actually, I didn't even know you two saw each other outside of assignments-"

"Well, we did," Kakashi snapped as he reached for that goddamn bottle of sake.

°°••....••°°

He put in a mission request the very next day, after he scraped himself out of bed. Kakashi was told he was on the top of the list, but there was nothing to his standard available - he asked to be put in the next group that was leaving that day for some shit B-rank mission - of course, the Hokage allowed it, though a bit confused.

On the mission, Kakashi fucked the other jonin in the group; a kunoichi named Aina.

She couldn't get him there - he had to think about you. He had to cover her mouth to conjure your perfect whimpers and moans in his mind as he screwed his eyes shut so tightly that they hurt.

He got no sleep that night, but not because he was having so much fun that he didn't want it to end. He told Aina to get going immediately, then tossed and turned, and paced, all around the inn room he had rented for himself.

He was so mad that you had ruined other women for him that he pushed the team to complete the mission within the day.

They were back in the Leaf before supper, just for the entire group to see you and Iruka heading back to the village as well, baskets of wild berries and flowers on your arm and his.

You didn't see the group - didn't see Kakashi - being so absorbed in whatever apparently hilarious story Iruka was telling.

Fuck - Kakashi was ready to start pulling is hair out by the root.

That was what you wanted? Flowers and berries and terrible stories? He could have given you that!

Why did Iruka get to give you flowers? Why did he get to spend whole nights with you?

Why didn't you ever ask to do that with Kakashi?

Just seeing you smile at Iruka, Kakashi knew he wasn't mad at Iruka for stealing his girl, or at you for pushing him away.

He was mad at himself for never realizing that you didn't look at him like that. He was mad at himself for convincing himself that you might have liked him as more than as just a fuck.

He wanted to get to love you, and he wanted you to love him.

Why didn't you want to love him anymore?

[kakashixhatakesxwhore]

one like and i'll post a fic about fwb!kakashi who pushes the reader away but then gets all jealous when iruka scoops her up like the knight in shining armour that he is 👀

edit: i posted it

[kakashixhatakesxwhore]

been kinda ready to [REDACTED] so... let's think about secretadmirer!kakashi rn...

this isn't spellchecked btw :3

secretadmirer!kakashi who sees you in the market square one day and suddenly feels his throat constrict and his ability to form cogent thoughts leave him entirely...

secretadmirer!kakashi who has to wait until he happens upon you the next day to strike up a conversation, all too beguiled by your beauty to spit any game, but who is quite remiss to be curtly turned away as you continued your way down the street to... wherever...

secretadmirer!kakashi who wracks his brain to figure out just why on this gracious green would you reject him? was he too forward? not forward enough? it couldn't be that you outright disliked him... that would be absurd...

secretadmirer!kakashi who can't negate the spark that sizzles in the root of his heart... don't you feel it too?

secretadmirer!kakashi who leaves a bouquet of hand-picked wildflowers from his favourite valley near Hokage Rock, paired with a neatly inked poem that took him an excrutiating swath of time to conjure up, on you doorstep the next day...

secretadmirer!kakashi who sees you walking on air as you go about the village in the days following and feels a genuine smile tugging at his lips for the first time in a while...

secretadmirer!kakashi who resolves to leave those two little gifts on your doorstep every time he returns from a mission...

secretadmirer!kakashi who talks himself up to physically hand you this bouquet, after months of leaving his heart on your doorstep... but who, when it comes down to it, still can't find it in him to stay to even watch your reaction...

secretadmirer!kakashi who kicks himself when he next returns to the village after a long mission and sees you out on what looks very much like a date with some random jonin...

(he did more than kick himself - but he'd never want you to know about the poor trees caught in the path of his kunai as he visualized the gnarled bark to resemble that stupid guy's stupid face)

secretadmirer!kakashi who skips the flowers and keeps his latest poem for himself - to save you from any conflict with your beau, of course...

secretadmirer!kakashi who spends the entirety of his next mission with a sharp pain in his chest...

...but who is dead chuffed to find out that your relationship had dissolved before he got back to the village, because secretadmirer!kakashi (while empathetic) is exceedingly selfish when it comes to you.

who decides all bets are off, that he really does need to make his move before another nobody comes along to waste your precious time, because secretadmirer!kakashi (though an anxious procrastinator in the most trivial times) knows that you deserve somebody proactive and confident in their admiration.

secretadmirer!kakashi who collects his largest bouquet to date, with only the most flawless flowers that the valley had to offer him, and writes the most gorgeous verse, each word dedicated to you...

secretadmirer!kakashi who gathers up his confidence and strides up to your door - he raises his hand, with every intention of knocking...

secretadmirer!kakashi who swallows thickly and shakes his head, bending to leave the flowers and folded paper on your doorstep, because he is your secret admirer who is scared to death that you would reject his admiration if it weren't a secret...

[kakashixhatakesxwhore]

guess who's birthday it isssssss

[kakashixhatakesxwhore]

cw: mention of throwing up rq (also, this is mad short)

...but could you imagine waking up in the middle of the night, kissing kakashi on the shoulder (because he loves being little spoon), and slipping out of bed to get a drink of water? could you imagine the small creeks in the floor as you went, accompanied by the faint hum of the fridge? could you imagine getting a glass of water from the purifier in that same fridge, persperation forming on the glass within a minute of holding the water?

the water would be so cold, and so nice on your throat, which inticed your sip to turn to a gulp, then another gulp, and another, and-

"are you planning to start your day, now?" your husband would suddenly ask admist the quiet.

you'd swallow the water in your mouth, then turn to look at the clock above your stove. it would read just about quarter after four - which was a clean few hours before you usually got up. with a shaking head, you would simply say, "no."

"well, you'll throw up in the morning if you finish that whole glass and go right back to bed," he would tell you. then, a small smirk gracing his unmasked face, he'd come into the kitchen with silent steps. "that said; i miss my cuddle buddy."

"mm, you're sappy when you're sleepy." his arms would be wrapping you into a loose hug, encircling you waist as you would hum, "i'm sorry for waking you up, handsome."

a small blush would dust across kakashi's face, and he would simply shake his head, "c'mon. let's talk in bed."

you would nod and his right arm would slide around your hip, tucking you into his arm as he lead you out of the kitchen. he would just smile sleepily, tugging you down the hall, and into your quaint bedroom. kakashi would take the half-full glass from your hand, and set it on the bedside table, while you slipped back into the bed.

"i love you," you would murmur as he walked around to his side of the bed.

lumbering onto the messy sheets, kakashi would reply, his voice still husky with sleep, "i love you more, darling."

could you imagine the ensuing back-and-forth of, 'well, i love you most', 'i love you more than that'? could you imagine drifting back to sleep, still mumbling those declarations of love, your husband's arm under your pillow as he watched you slip? could you imagine a small kiss on your forehead being the last thing you feel before the morning properly comes?

...could you imagine?

((lmk if this sucks <3))

[kakashixhatakesxwhore]

im about to dab then make the rice krispy recipe from snoop's cookbook... i fear i may have to write a shikamaru fic detailing this experience

[kakashixhatakesxwhore]

Poll Time

i'm curious about how producers and/or consumers of fanfiction enjoy their fanfiction - if you have answers to precious polls or poll ideas, comment, message me, or throw them in my inbox !!

Active Poll

N/a (for now)

Concluded Polls

POV Preference

Narrator Preference

Fic-Length Preference

Tense Preference

[kakashixhatakesxwhore]

Me when Kakashi is in any scene whatsoever:

Like fuck the subtitles. I don't need to understand what he's saying.

[kakashixhatakesxwhore]

Alone

Pairing: Hokage!Kakashi x f!Reader

Summary: Kakashi comes home late, to find that you left a note stating that you want to be left alone.

W/c: 1k (she bite-sized but I love her)

Warnings: Swearing, Kakashi's possessive and worries a lot

A/n: this one is entirely based off of this Frog and Toad story, so I only felt it was right to include the picture from the story's resolution. y'all know i just adore this man as hokage. lmk if this sucks, yk, the usual.

Masterlist💿

It had been another long day for the new Hokage. He was tired, he was stiff, and all he wanted was a kiss from you. He should have given you ten more kisses than he actually had given you, this morning - but, he was rushing, he had an early meeting.

Fuck, what an idiot. He should've been seizing every moment he had to kiss you, but he didn't, not this morning. He was being a terrible husband.

What if you thought so, too? What if you were feeling neglected, or, worse, unloved? What if that was the reason why you left such a cryptic, worrisome note for him to find when he got home?

Dear, Kakashi, I am not at home. I went out. I want to be alone. Y/n

He put the prettily penned note back onto the console table and shed his official robes. They were getting hot. The entire foyer of your home was getting hot.

Turning back to the door, Kakashi opened it back up with a shaking hand.

"Alone?" He murmured to himself as he shut it, again. As he walked away from the Red House, Kakashi scoffed, "Why does she want to be alone?"

Trekking away from the house, he wracked his brain, conjuring up a list of places you may be.

So, he started simple.

And he thanked the stars he hadn't checked anywhere else, first.

There, you laid, way out in the middle of a very wide pond, just North of Hokage Rock, in a little valley filled with flora, fauna, and the like.

A huge, grey rock held you above the water, just high enough so that the small ripples in the pond, caused by the frogs and little fish, didn't bother your sleeping form at all. Dragon flies zipped about you, only gracing you with a small bit of wind, and hardly a tickle or aggravation. Thin, weaning rays of sunlight passed through the tree line as the ball of fire made it's descent of the sky. They painted you with little golden dots, just over the long pants and tank top you had on.

Kakashi, almost, didn't want to wake you.

Almost.

Walking atop the water's surface, Kakashi strode over to you carefully, making sure not to make any undue splashes. As he walked, he berated himself.

Because you could have been sleeping, at home. You could have been doing this within the sanctity of your home, not out, where someone could just grab you. Shit, see a pretty lady, in the middle of a fucking pond, unconscious? Kakashi's instinct would be to help, even if he didn't know her - but there were some bad characters, who would not be so inclined. Why couldn't you just be a little more mindful of that? Kakashi worried about you, and your safety, and your health, but you didn't seem the least at all concerned.

Approaching you near silently, Kakashi ran his index finger down the inside of your arm, feeling the tender flesh as you twitched so preciously.

Fuck - the reason why you didn't care about you was because you didn't know how much he cared about you. That had to be it. He was underserving you, and that was just fucking criminal.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," he whispered, watching your eyes slowly open as he continued to tickle your arm.

You blinked and a smile rose to your face, it almost confused Kakashi.

Slowly, you sat up and shirked his touch in favour of a stretch. It almost bothered Kakashi, but he was very aware that he was in no position to be bothered by something so trivial.

"What are you sorry for, Kakashi?" You asked after a yawn, that same little grin on your lips as you looked into his eyes with a sparkle in yours.

A little embarrassed to be made to say it aloud, Kakashi scratched the back of his neck. Oh, grow the fuck up - apologize to your wife like a proper man, or else she'll resent-

"I'm sorry for treating you so poorly," he began, much to your surprise. Your smile continued to inch off of your face as he went on, "I've been so consumed with the duties of being Hokage, that I've been neglecting you. The last thing I want is for you to be unhappy. I shouldn't have..."

You were laughing.

So quietly, a small snicker, a little giggle.

"I'm not unhappy, Kakashi," you grinned, shaking your head a tad.

"Then why did you want to go out, and be alone?" He asked, voice dipped in bewilderment.

Your smile had returned to simply rest on your face as you looked at him. Gently, you shrugged, and told him, "This morning, when I woke up, I felt good, because the sun was shining. I felt good, because I'm your wife. And I felt good, because I know I'm so, very loved. I wanted to be alone, so I could think about how wonderful everything is. That was all in the morning, and I had a very long meditation on this rock, then took an even longer nap. I wasn't aware of the time, and I thought I'd be home earlier- that you'd never even read the note."

Quietly, Kakashi sat down on the rock with you, knees suddenly weak. He had to take a few breaths, but, even then, he couldn't stop looking into your eyes.

Your beautiful eyes.

They didn't call him a fool, nor did they judge him for overthinking anything.

"Oh," he said lowly, after some time had passed. "I suppose that's a very good reason to want to be alone."

You just laughed, and stretched again, before standing atop the water. Extending your hand to him, you purred, "And now, I am glad to not be alone. Let's go home, and make dinner - I'm starved."

Kakashi took your hand gingerly. He stood and twirled you so that his arm rested on your shoulder naturally, as you maintained your hold of his hand. Bringing you close to his side, Kakashi just sighed contently, "I love you, sweetheart."

"I love you, Kakashi," you smiled up at him. "You really are a spectacular husband."

[kakashixhatakesxwhore]

Jsyk i check your blog damn near everyday for a new drop. Got me banging my head against the wall DROP NEW SHIT NIC.

pls and thank u.

im back bby 😽

[kakashixhatakesxwhore]

A Dream From Another Universe

Pairing: Itachi x f!Reader

Summary: Itachi from the canon universe has a dream, about how things could've been if other things were different.

W/c: 1.9k

Warnings: Swearing? Lil touch of angst? Nm.

A/n: given kakashi and itachi tied and won that lil vote i did, here's this! anyway, lmk how y'all feel, it's supposed to be bittersweet.

Masterlist💿

And, suddenly, it was the early evening.

Dark oak furniture was scattered around the living room, accompanied by a mix-matched variety of sitting pieces. A purple, crushed velvet arm chair sat on one side, while a pink-green-and-white recliner resided on the other. They framed a plaid couch that faced a roaring fire. From somewhere in the room, probably from one of the overflowing bookshelves, a sickly soft piano melody drifted through the air; such a vivid sound, Itachi could nearly see the soundwaves as they came.

He didn't question the homely scene; simply, he enjoyed the warmth, and thanked every star he knew the name of.

Nightmares tortured Itachi, too horrifying and heart-wrenching for the true level of the feelings to ever be conveyed by any verbiage. They carried on to his waking hours - though his world had become a blur, the memories came back clear as day. He deserved it, every terrible feeling, and he knew it well.

But, this was not a nightmare.

And he hoped to imprint this scene into his mind - even if it was only a hazy dream, and he had never seen that furniture nor heard that music before in his life.

However, he wasn't entirely sure he deserved... this.

Especially when your fuzzy figure materialized in the middle of the plaid couch, your head tucked down. Glistening in the firelight's reflection, your hair curtained your face, a little longer than he remembered it to have been.

His heart stuttered within his chest, clenching with the force of a thousand lonely nights.

Just as he began to begrudge you for hiding your face from him, your head turned so casually, but with such a remarkable grace that this was surely you.

"Come 'ere, Itachi," you purred, your voice just as melodic as he remembered.

Hearing his name from your lips brought him to life within the dream.

Without speaking, he swept over to you, making long strides across the foreign living room. As he moved, he drank in every feature of yours, the features that made his heart pound, those that he hadn't seen in years, but could never, ever, forget.

Stars above, you were beautiful.

So, very beautiful.

He sat on the couch, taking the cushion to your right, still silent, while a deep frown carved onto his face. You let Itachi stare at you with clear vision, doing so with such a gentle smile.

As he looked into your eyes, he noticed every star he had longed to see, within them, twinkling with adoration.

His heart ached within it's prison. How badly he missed making you smile, how awfully he yearned to watch the glimmer in your eye. The slopes of your cheeks were so perfectly defined by the firelight, while it also smoothed your skin to a marble texture. You resembled a statue, a carving; something that an artist poured hundreds of hours into to render entirely perfect.

"What's the matter, sweet boy?" You chuckled after an unknown amount of time had passed.

That... cripes, Itachi felt like he could cry. He would do anything just to hear that little pet name on his conscious ear.

What a fool he was. He claimed to hate that name, way back when; but, now, he was dreaming about those words. A strange brand of self-hatred came over him, tinged with guilt. Why could he not have made more time for you? Why-

"I-ta-chi," you enunciated in a sing-song voice, bringing Itachi's eyes to your lips. "Talk to me - you seem totally spaced."

"I'm okay," he whispered. "Don't worry about me."

You shook your head and reached over your lap, grabbing the bookmark that rested on the coffee table. As you slotted it between your pages, you chuckled, "I always worry about you, my sweet, sweet boy."

Were you dreaming about him? Was that why he was having this dream?

No, Itachi thought. That sounded too hopeful. 

Besides, this could still turn into a nightmare, the other shoe could still drop.

"Are you... is it happening again?" You asked with a certain compassion in your cadence that made Itachi's shoulders relax.

He shook his head, "Is what happening again?"

With a slight huff, you heaved the book onto the coffee table, then turned yourself to face Itachi fully, crossing your legs on the couch.

"Which nocturne is playing, right now?"

The question caught him off guard.

Hesitantly, he shrugged, "The... third... nocturne?"

You sighed, and he knew he answered wrong, "What about yesterday? Do you remember what we did?"

"No," he answered honestly, but so very intrigued. "What did we do yesterday?"

"Well," you started with a smile. "You won three tickets for a baseball game, so you, Shisui, and Sasuke went to the ballpark, yesterday." As you drew breath, Itachi's lips quirked. "You hell-raisers came back here, post-game, and I made dinner. A nice okonomiyaki for everyone."

"Oh, yeah?" Itachi murmured, no edge in his voice at all, just sheer tantalization.

You grinned, capturing his eyes with yours, full of stars, "Yeah."

"Then, what happened?" He asked, though he didn't even recognize the gentleness in his tone.

"Then, we played a few rounds of dice," you laughed lightly, shaking your head as if you couldn't believe he was having you revise the night. "I stole the pot twice, and Shisui declared that I was cheating. I wasn't, of course, but I dropped out and came over here, anyway, until the boys left. After that-" You shrugged, "-we shared a nightcap, before we got nice and cuddled-up for the night."

Fuck, this really was a dream.

Itachi was left to merely wonder how his mind could possibly conjure up something so...

"That sounds..." He searched for the word, but the one he wished for didn't exist. Shaking his head with a small smile, Itachi sighed, "Perfect."

"I bet," you mumbled, looking over his face carefully, your gaze as light as a feather. "I think my Itachi and I have the best lives of any of us, and that's why this always happens to him. Do you speak to your me?"

What?

"I beg your pardon?" Itachi said, voice confused and almost child-like as his brain fizzed.

You just smiled, and simply told him, "It's like a gift, to you, I suppose... Sometimes, when my Itachi gets too tired, too stressed, too whatever, one of you comes to me. You, like, switch places."

Okay, now his brain was really starting to lose the plot of the dream. It was going so well-

"I'll have you, for a little while," you went on. "And you'll have me, for a little while. It's like the stars are giving you a taste of the good life - one of you called it a reprieve, I think."

"I'm sorry," Itachi huffed, a short laugh in his breath. He shook his head, "I really don't understand."

"That's quite alright, sweetheart, you don't need to. All you need to know is that I love you, and your me loves you - and an infinite number of other versions of us love each other, too."

Perhaps untrue, hopefully not - Itachi was just happy to hear you speak, and to hear such foreign words of adoration.

You grinned peacefully, "So, what do you think?"

"Think about what?" He asked.

Motioning around the living room, you laughed, "What do you think of our place? What do you think of me? How does all of this compare to you and your Y/n?"

"I think you have a lovely home," Itachi started slowly, looking around the room. "And I think... you are lovely." His eyes returned to yours and he couldn't help but smile as he said, "But I can't bring myself to compare our situations."

"Probably for the best," you sighed contentedly. Then, looking at Itachi with a cocked brow, you asked, "What do you want to do, Itachi?"

A hundred- no, a thousand things flitted through his mind.

What did he want to do? With you, anything.

"I- I don't..." Fool, this is a golden opportunity. "I just... I want to hear you speak, that's all."

"What do you want me to speak about?"

"Tell me about us, about our lives, together."

"Well, tomorrow, we're..."

It was spectacular.

Itachi was amazed.

He doubted the overall verity of the situation, as one should - but, there was no doubt in his mind that this was the most splendid gift he had ever received. If there were other universes, with other Itachi's and other Y/n's, he was glad that at least some of them seemed to be living the way he wished. Not everything in every universe could be a bowl of peaches and cream, but it was a real motherfucker that this Itachi had to go through the muck and back, and to still be one of the ones who lost you along the way.

For what felt like both six hours, and six minutes, you verbally illustrated the grand adventures the two of you had gone on, and about the adventures you had planned.

It truly was everything he had dreamed about, and a strange jealousy had crept it's way up Itachi's neck.

"And, guess what," you prompted, legs stretched out over Itachi's lap as you spoke on and on.

"What?" He acquiesced, his fingers lightly drawing obscure shapes on the thin skin of your shin, letting his eyes trace every line in your smile.

With an extension of your left hand, he ripped his eyes away from your face to see a rather large, diamond ring on your fourth finger. It glimmered and shone, seemingly polished to the exact standard of blinding reflection. Upon your hand, the ring almost seemed heavy, and numbers started flying through Itachi's mind as he assessed the piece of jewelry, pondering the monetary and karat worth of the rock alone.

"We're getting married in the Autumn," you told him as he gently took your hand in his to get an even closer look at the ring. "You proposed here, at home - then, we went on a proposal tour."

Allowing himself to laugh lightly, Itachi repeated, "Proposal tour?"

"Yeah," you beamed. "We went around to our favourite places and you proposed to me again and again. We got a bunch of free desserts out of it, and a lots of our favourite shopkeepers started regularly giving us discounts."

"Who thought that up?" He asked, letting the lopsided smile rest on his face.

Taking your hand back, you motioned to yourself from head to toe and claimed, "Yours truly."

Itachi laughed again, though the vibrations almost felt as foreign as this living room. You smiled, eyes dancing around his face like he was the one who possessed a priceless beauty. The two of you stayed like that for a little while, yet - merely staring at each other, with gentle grins plastered on both of your faces.

Until...

"You have to wake up, now, Itachi," you hummed, sitting up properly as you looked at him with such a gorgeous, bittersweet smile. He never wanted to forget your smile, nor the way your lips wrapped around his name so softly, again, "Itachi."

"Why?" He asked, forlorn.

Meekly, you giggled and told him, "I miss my Itachi."

"I don't want to leave you," he said, almost petulant, but with a candied voice, thick with a heavy array of emotion. "I don't... I don't even see my Y/n, I just... I miss her."

You chuckled warmly, "I wish you had more time with her, sweet boy."

"Me too," he murmured in defeat. "I love you."

"I'm sure I love you, too."

Before he could offer any further farewell, his vision went white, then suddenly black.

He could smell a wet metallic tinge in the air, and he sighed quietly as he laid in the cave, not wanting to open his eyes, for fear of losing the image of you that was seared into the insides of his eyelids.

Itachi missed you terribly.

[kakashixhatakesxwhore]

Oh my goddd I just read A Chilly Trip to the Sugar Dealer and I love the way you write possessive Kakashi he’s so perfect 💕 I actually started rewatching Naruto bc your comment on the original TA!Gojo imagines i wrote way back when. your username popped up and it reminded me how much I love him 🤭

i literally sobbed reading this - not my fav author fucking w my stuff - thank you so much 🤭😭