#because dude is smart and can be rich

[dyinggirldied]

What if the hero decides to "retire" early so they can focus more on their college/finding job.

They are very secured in the fact that there are plenty more of heroes that can stop their rogues.

Only, they don't expect for their villains to miss them.

[timmydraker]

I don’t really like seeing Tim as the ‘won’t eat unless he has to and even then it’s Bat Burger and a granola bar’ kind of person.

This boy was raised RICH, he has got to have the palate of literal gold. I’m talking saffron and almas caviar plated on six thousand dollar plates and two hundred year old dining tables.

That and the fact he’s a nerd, meaning he probably studied what foods are best for weight gain, muscle gain and generally anything good for the body and being physically active.

This boy probably has meal prep that requires two whole fridges filled to the max and walk in pantry with aisles in it.

He doesn’t do Mac and cheese but he does do macaroni, cheese, broccoli, bacon, egg, basil, chives and other herbs I’m not smart enough to name. He probably makes a whole pot of it, stores some away for later, and still finishes it within a few days.

Now if he can’t cook he’s got money for that, he can pay his own personal cook or give his long ass list of dishes and requirements to Alfred who would either agree whole heartedly or be annoyed at how specific this boy needs his mushrooms cooked for ‘ultimate nutritional value’.

He doesn’t do the little servings of the food for dinner, but you can bet he has a dozen or so a day as snacks on top of packet chips, previously mentioned granola bars, and fruit salad from the cafeteria at WE or DI.

He’s still short af, even compared to the female Robin he will always be the shortest by a hair in my mind. He’s also somewhat lean, but he’s a vigilante and uses a Bo on the nightly, so he’s packed with muscle and you can’t have muscle if you don’t have fat to burn off.

This dude can demolish a twenty ounce steak in five minutes if you give him the time.

Leave him without food for twenty four hours and he will complain he can feel his stomach eating itself.

It’s hydrating this man is horrible with, because all he drinks is tea and calls water ‘an option’.

[keferon]

Odds of Survival Part 4

Jazz thinks he’s starting to figure stuff out and finds entirely new ways to concern Prowl.

———————————————————————

The flashing visual feedback from the cracked visor felt like his brain was being used for target practice by a middle schooler with a BB gun and the school just canceled pizza day forever.

Jazz was feeling pretty grateful to Prowl right now. Between the glitching visual feed and the misshapen state of his feet, Jazz wasn’t totally confident he could get into the mecha cradle on his own.

At least not without stumbling around like he was completely plastered and trying to decipher a fancy ass hotels space age shower controls.

Seriously, seven different knobs and a touch screen.

Blurr. Dude. Why.

As Prowl walked him through the outpost, Jazz continually got snapshots of his surroundings. Doorway, hallway, door again, room. Another mecha was inside.

At a glance, they looked like the same class type as Prowl. Face, wing thingy’s, and wheels. All the same but with a slightly different color scheme of red and grey.

Jazz was slowly working out what class of mecha they were supposed to be. They couldn’t be Striker class. Not with attachments Prowl straight up specified were delicate.

What even were they? They weren’t thrusters. The wings took the place of where car doors were on a regular car. Which, holy shit, Prowls mecha can turn into a fucking car.

Prowl also flexed and twitched them around a bunch, kinda like how Jazz used his horns to emote. Not that Prowl needed wings to emote because holy FUCK that face. It had micro expressions!!

Okay. Prowl had three things that were cool as fuck going on. An expressive face, delicate wings and the ability to turn into a (fucking) car.

What does that mean? Why would someone build a mecha like that?

Ever since Jazz got spat out by the wormhole and woke up surrounded by aliens, he’s felt like his brain has been slowly circling the drain of a sink. There was some missing piece to all of this that he could feel himself just skirting by over and over again.

Oh fuck right. The other aliens. There was alien life other than tentacle monsters out there. They were dicks sure but at least you could share a train car without any murder attempts.

Ooooohhh. Jazz swayed backwards a little as the tilted his head back in realization. Prowl catching him.

Prowl’s mecha was built to work with other fighters in space. He clearly had a life support system to survive in a vacuum. He had a highly expressive face to help communicate with aliens. The wings must be satellites for communication. The car mode was for fast tracking across planet surfaces. Prowl was crazy smart, over and over again Jazz had watched him figure out exactly where they needed to go and how to get there. Of course there was a reason he was so easy to work with. It was his job.

Prowl wasn’t any kind of pre-existing class from Jazz’s mecha program. Prowl was every Strikers pipe dream that kept getting brought up and then thrown out for “not being cost effective”.

Prowl was a Support Class Mecha.

Live on the field, giving real time updates and backup.

Damn.

Whatever shadow government Prowl worked for must be insanely rich. Wonder if they’re taking applications.

Prowl unhooked Jazz’s remaining functional arm from over his shoulders. He maneuvered Jazz to sit on a bench height concrete extension from the floor.

The microphones in his horns were still working fine despite one of them sending many unhappy damage report messages.

“Sit here and don’t move.” From the glimpses Jazz could catch, Prowl looked concerned but focused. Jazz wanted to ask why they didn’t go to some kind of docking station but figured Prowl knew what was up and went along with it.

Jazz could hear the mystery mecha talking. A lot.

It was in that other language Prowl had initially tried talking to Jazz with, except speed up by a bajillion percent.

From the tone, the new mecha was asking Prowl a barrage of questions. Prowl, for his part, replied in short concise sentences or occasionally a silent glare. The other mecha didn’t seem put off by this and merrily continued talking as he lined up another shot through some kind of rail gun setup built into the slit window.

Eventually, the new mecha started directing his questions at him. Apparently stopping to breath wasn’t a thing with this guy.

Jazz did his best to shrug. “Sorry man. No idea what you’re saying.”

Prowl interceded in common, “Jazz, this is Bluestreak.” He waved in the direction of the sniper, who smiled and waved.

“Bluestreak, this is Jazz. He is only just learning Common.” Prowl turned to Bluestreak with a scolding look. “I need to focus on helping him while you focus on the remaining quintessons. Understood?”

“I got it! I got it. I can stop talking when I’m working you know.” Bluestreak nodded and turned back towards the view port, but not without calling over his shoulder, “So Jazz, my brothers face is emotion positive positive positive?”

Oh Jazz could hear the shit eating grin from the other side of the room.

“HAH!” Jazz accidentally knocked his head back against the wall and visor started glitching worse. “Eugh. Eh, worth it.”

“Both of you be quiet or I will separate you.” Prowl threatened.

Jazz, chuckled good naturally but otherwise quieted down. He watched the stop motion footage of Prowl opening some kind of crate and collecting what looked like a tube of glue, a pair of giant tweezers and some kind of mecha sized chrome-mesh duct tape.

His face was suddenly very close and Jazz did not startle. Nope. Who said that?

He felt the pressure of a hand settling on his good shoulder. Prowl was wearing that highly concentrated look again. And Jazz was so focused trying to work out what the internal mechanisms of his eyes were that he missed what Prowl was saying to him.

“Could you say that again? My…uh.”

M’kay, how to translate ‘I definitely have whiplash and maybe also sort of a Concussion’ into common. “Head function negative? Uh, too much motion. Broken but small negative?”

Yeaaaah Prowl did not seem reassured by Jazz’s attempt to downplay his condition. Which meant he nailed the translation! He was so getting at least a B+ in this language class.

Fuck his head hurt.

“I want to help you as much as I can. I am not a person-profession-help. Can I help you with what I have?” Prowl had a little furrow between his eyebrows.

“Sure, I won’t fight you.” Jazz stabilized himself best he could. The sentence must have translated weird, because Prowl looked kinda concerned before pulling out a strip of shiny duct tape.

The winged mecha paused, examining Jazz’s busted shoulder, and then doubled the length of tape.

When Prowl wrapped the mesh textured tape around and just above the breakage, something weird started happening to Jazz’s systems. The Severe Damage Warnings and big bright Error messages Jazz had been actively ignoring for the past half hour started to reduce in number. One by one they all quieted down. Checking his mechas systems, the arm was still marked as compromised, but the ai wasn’t actively screaming into his poor brain anymore.

The quiet was such an overwhelming balm Jazz audibly groaned in relief. “I owe you so, so, many drinks. What is that stuff?”

Prowl stilled, “It is-“ he paused, clearly trying to work out how to translate a complicated term into a common equivalent. “It is a kind of repair mesh. You…you don’t know what repair mesh is?”

Jazz got a snapshot of Prowl and even Bluestreak’s expressions. The sniper looking over his shoulder, eyes wide and mouth open in silent confusion. Prowl’s stare was boring into him, making Jazz squirm.

“Um. Yes? At least it’s not something I’ve ever seen before. I mean, I don’t actually need it if it’s too expensive.” Jazz turned owlishly between the two.

Jazz heard Bluestreak start to make a questioning noise before having his focus be pulled back to the winding down invasion outside. Prowl looked into the distance for a moment, then took up the tweezers. He schooled his expression like he was about to do brain surgery.

“I’m going to work on your helm and visor now. Please hold still.” Prowl placed his hand against the side of his head, stabilizing.

“M’kay. Go ahead.” And Jazz put his mecha into Maintenance Mode.

The lights inside the mecha dimmed down to a low glow. Like this, the engine dropped into an idle hum, and the mecha could only move very slowly. Jazz had to hold a position for a few seconds before anything would respond, giving plenty of time for engineers to move out of the way.

Jazz also shut off the incoming feed from the visor, since looking at a bright flashing screen was probably on the list of things you’re not supposed to do while concussed. As well as fall asleep. Or operate heavy machinery.

Two out of three ain’t bad. Call it another B+.

Jazz felt like he might be dropping a letter grade soon though. He usually associated Maintenance Mode with being bored out of his mind, but after the insane last few hour’s, the slow quiet was practically a spa session.

It didn’t hurt that Jazz could feel Prowls hand cradling the side of his head. Technically, the mechas could only sense pressure. No heat. No texture. Given a reference point though, the human brain was pretty fantastic at filling in the gaps.

It felt warm. And soft.

“Jazz?” Prowl stopped what he’d been doing.

Ah.

Jazz came back into full awareness from where he’d been drifting off. He was pressing into Prowls hand.

“Sorry, sorry.” He lethargically pulled away. How do you explain “Hey! Sorry about pushing against you like a stray cat! I’m just kinda super into piloting mecha and being held like that is kind of a novel experience.” in a completely foreign language you learned that morning?

Jazz dragged his ass back upright.

“I’m not, uh, familiar? With a hold like that. Touch-positive. Normally I only feel touch-fight or touch-medical.” Jazz meant to say touch-maintenance, but he was already rambling and for some reason the words were really similar in Common.

Prowl didn’t respond.

Jazz felt his chest tighten. “Prowl?”

“I’m here.” Prowl said quickly. There was an edge of static to his voice.

He didn’t remove his hand. “I’m still here.”

The rest of Jazz’s maintenance went by quietly. Prowl kept his hand where it was for the majority of it, only repositioning once to tilt his head back while working on the cracks of his visor.

Jazz wasn’t 100% sure why Prowl indulged him. Maybe got it? Or maybe he just thought Jazz was passing out and needed to be grounded. Okay yeah, that actually makes the most sense. Plus it was also what literally happened.

Eventually, the pilots heart finally slowed to a resting rate. Mostly. Jazz kept jerking awake.

If falling asleep with a concussion was bad, then falling asleep with a concussion while piloting a mecha would probably do very bad things to his lightly fried meatball of a brain.

He tried remembering what he could of his mandatory pilot safety course he took with Ratchet before the doctor left the program. He mostly remembered sneaking out.

It was fortunate then the pilot was just delirious enough that every time he almost conked out, the spiritual embodiment of Ratchet would scare the fuck out of him.

Thanks Ratchet.

See? I did learn something.

He heard a tarp rustling, and then his busted arm was being manipulated. Jazz brought his visor back online, pleased to see it wasn’t flashing anymore. His vision was a little distorted in the corner on the left side but he could deal with that.

When he looked around, Prowl was in the process of tying makeshift sling in place to keep his damaged bits from jostling around.

Jazz also got a good look at the emblem on his mecha’s chest. It kinda looked like an angular mecha face. Jazz didn’t recognize brand design though. Maybe he’d remember once he’d recovered from the bullshit of the day.

He was kinda too tired to think properly at the moment. That circling-the-sink-drain feeling hadn’t actually left, even with the Support Class revelation.

“That is the best I can do for now. Our ship should arrive in five breems.” Prowl hesitantly let go of Jazz.

“Thanks Prowler, you’re the best.” He wriggled now free horns at him. Incrementally, Jazz brought his systems back online, running through well practiced motions to ensure everything was working. Well, everything that was supposed to be working anyways.

He heard a raspberry being blown by Bluestreak, the mecha had his hands on his knees and he was looking from Jazz to Prowl.

“Prowler?”

Prowl frowned. “Yes?”

“Prow-ler.”

Prowl frowned harder, “I’m aware.”

Bluestreak straightened up, “Okay, you’ve delayed this long enough. I need to talk to this guy one on one. Go talk to the Big Boss and I’ll watch Jazz. Please mech. I gotta. I gotta talk to this guy or I’m going to explode. Like, where is he from? Why does he look like that? How’d he end up floating in space? What’s his native language? Does he know any other languages? Why has he never heard of Common before? Is he super young? How are the others gonna react? What are you going to say to Elita? Oh Elita says hi by the way. Or, not really, she said ‘contact me as soon as possible’ and then hung up on me. Which is fine. Oh but you should seriously respond to you-know-who first.”

Jazz was getting maybe every third word of that. Bluestreak was still going. Wow. Impressive breath control no lie.

Prowl visibly sighed, straightening his posture into something military grade. Immune to the conversation tornado.

“Jazz, I must speak with our factions leader. I will not mention you to him until you have a better understanding of our military structure and you are able to choose to engage.” Prowl kept his hands folded behind his back. The total shift in body language was jarring.

“Okay,” Jazz nodded slowly. “I’ll be here, thanks again.”

Prowl nodded curtly once before shooting a warning look at Bluestreak, and then left the room.

The loss was weird in a way Jazz couldn’t properly describe. Prowl was so easy to click with that once he was gone, Jazz remembered he was stranded in deep space surrounded by what were effectively perfect strangers.

He didn’t get to dwell on it long though, as Bluestreak sidled up to him, propping his chin on one hand.

“So! I’ll let you go first. Ask me anything and I’ll tell you all about it!”

Jazz had a lot of questions but figured he’d start with something basic to help along his language acquisition.

“What,” he poked Bluestreak in his purple badge, “Are your cuss words?”

———————————————————————

Prowl: What do you mean you are actually capable of experiencing pain?

Prowl: What do you mean you don’t know what local anesthetic is?

Prowl: What do you mean no one has ever touched you when it didn’t involve medical treatment??

Prowl: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’VE GONE THROUGH MEDICAL TREATMENT WITHOUT ANESTHETIC.

Man oh man, this is the end of this arc but there’s more I still want to write. Gonna start cataloguing and saving these as well.

-SSTP

OH MY GOD. OH NO. Oh my god

Yeah no that makes SO much sense khftugssujdsthdd. Without that one little important piece of information their understanding of each other. Oh man. It's not just bad. It's FANTASTICALLY wrong but somehow generally still in the vaguely right direction??

Like Jazz being regularly medically mistreated is kind of true BUT NOT IN THE WAY YOU THINK PROWL

And Prowl being that sweet sweet support class mecha?? FUKFDEY Y e ah.

Oh this is amazing. Oh thIS IS FUCKING GREAT SSTP I WILL DIE FOR YOU

[married-to-google-translater]

Hello, I would like to ask for an imagine of Leona and Jamil in a self-aware AU, being in love with a reader, who has one of them as a favorite (you can decide if you want Yandere or not)

Okaaaaay~ I hope u enjoy this :3

Yandere Leona Kingscholar

Leona wouldn't care much about being a game character.

He would care more about not being able to cuddle with the real you.

This dude is very chill...

At least until he realizes that some other people can flirt with you.

Leona would definitely not approve of this.

He would have to come up with something.

However, knowing that he is your favorite character would calm him down a bit.

Oh Leona would be really smug if he was your favorite.

He would really rub it in Malleus' face.

You would improve his self-esteem a lot.

Too bad you're not in their world.

This would really annoy him.

Leona would be rich...

He might not have experience with how the code works, but he could certainly hire someone to figure it out.

His family would get the bill :3

You would get a lot of edited interactions.

R.I.P Malleus' screen time.

Leona is not sure how, but he will find a way for you to be together.

Yandere Jamil Viper

Well, this would be a shock.

Jamil had never thought of himself as a game character.

He doesn't know how to deal with this at first.

However, things will get better with time.

Jamil believes that you still understand him better than anyone else.

Also knowing that he is your favorite makes it a little easier.

Jamil would have to explain all the time that his ability to hypnotize does not work in another world.

Believe Jamil would have tried.

If he got paid every time people think he would be richer than Kalim.

However, Jamil is not rich...

This would annoy him a lot because he can't bribe anyone to modify the code.

Jamil might try to learn on his own.

After all, he would be pretty smart.

If your game crashes when you try to put another character on your home screen, you know who to blame.

Jamil would probably want to find a way to enter your world so you could be together.

[ghostgirl101]

Hi!! Loved your post about Oliver Quick being obsessed. How about Farleigh being obsessed with you 👁️👁️👁️

Dating Farleigh Start Would Be Like This...

A/N: Pffft his face here is a whole mood 😭 I got a similar request for Felix too, so he's next 🙃 Dating headcanons coming right up, with a side order of freaking obsessive, naturally:

��️• I don't know what to say about this guy that isn't already shown in the pic 😏 he's a cocky, rude, arrogant flirtatious player who takes every opportunity and advantage to use to his best. Once something's caught his attention, it'll play on his mind and he'll get to it in his own way, because that's the Farleigh Start we know and love.

⚜️• You'll meet him at Oxford, maybe hanging out around his friends with Felix and the rest, maybe not. I think he'd be very much drawn to someone who's not like the girls he sees always running after Felix or trying to make him jealous when they don't have his attention. You be you, and when he uses a very bold and seemingly smooth line on you, give him a look of amusement and slight confusion, and he'll be stunned that you didn't fall all over him for his charms like he's used to.

⚜️• Farleigh just watches you leave for a solid minute in bewilderment and intrigue because the guy got kicked out of every school because of how he is, but apparently, you're not that easy? This is new...?

⚜️• Don't think Farleigh's just some rich prick playboy who has to pick on the smarter kids to stay in college though, because he's surprisingly smart, which wouldn't be a first guess based on the way he acts around people and mocks anyone who isn't anywhere in his circle of friends and social class with Felix. If you saw him reviewing essays and stuff with Oliver and the teacher near the beginning of the movie, you can see he knows his terminology and how to study to get good enough grades in class. The only reason he kept getting kicked out of schools was for messing around with the teachers. It's not like Farleigh's stupid, not at all, but there's no way he's going to work harder than he has to... which isn't that hard at all.

⚜️• So when he saunters over to you yet again with his familiar arrogant smirk and charm, offering you a drink while his eyes unsubtly trail up and down your figure in intrigue, and you smile in amusement and casually turn him down... 😑😐 (his face) and then realises that okay, he might have to work harder than he usually does, because there's something about you that's made him curious, Farleigh has to rethink for a second before trying to get you to tag along with him and his friends more often.

⚜️• If Felix doesn't ask you over to Saltburn for the holidays, Farligh will nag at him to do it, with seemingly no other reason than "you're hot" and "why not have a new face?" and whatever else he thinks up on the spot that's half earnest and true, and also because a big manor out in the country with private gardens is just the perfect place to take this person he's been mildly obsessing over for the past while to draw them in... Felix, say yes now, because boy won't take no for an answer.

⚜️• During the course of your stay and hanging out around Farleigh, you'll come to realise that he's actually not a total jackass and snob that fools around with any girl he thinks is hot enough. His ties with the Cattons are pretty fragile and complex, and there's a lot more to him than he'll ever really show. There's a lot of pressure in fitting in and matching Saltburn's aesthetic and definition, but if you're someone who's not completely used to all the wealth and standards and makes him feel more relaxed and accepted without a facade everyone seems to wear, you'll see more and more of what makes Farleigh, Farleigh.

⚜️• So well done to him for discovering that there's more to an aspiring relationship than just the sex and passion, there's communication and actually getting to know each other too 👏

⚜️• As you get properly closer, you'll see that the dude gets ridiculously jealous when any other guy or girl shows an interest in you that goes past platonic in his eyes. He's started arguments and fights before about lesser things, so don't think he won't tense up and his eyes won't narrow into an annoyed glare at whoever it is that's taking up too much of your time. Farleigh will probably finish it off by humiliating them in some way, smirking in amusement from his seat as he watches his efforts pay off, and shrug with a faux innocent look when you call him out on it.

⚜️• If Oliver Quick happens to be Felix's guest at Saltburn too, Farleigh's jealousy levels and possessiveness will spike too, along with a hint of protectiveness. Since he basically thought right from the beginning that there was something weird about Oliver - maybe not to the realistic point that's revealed, but enough to not have one friendly or lighthearted word for him - Oliver going to you for friendship or most likely something more will only motivate Farleigh to exclude him as much as he can from the rest of the group.

⚜️• I feel like Farleigh would grow to quickly love what it means to be in a committed and official relationship, when before he turned his nose up at the idea of being restrained to only one person instead of a fling, and not having to worry about telling each other things that go too deep. It seems to all come naturally with you, and he loves it; being a loud and gleefully obnoxious supporter when you're doing whatever club or sport or anything at all with half a crowd watching from the sidelines. Proud, smug boyfriend right in the front row taking an unnecessary amount of photos to put up on a wall in his room.

⚜️• Farleigh makes simping look good. 😎

⚜️• He'll take advantage of the money he gets to buy you as expensive things as he can get, smirking proudly when he remembers you talking about something you like to get you. Farleigh can absolutely be romantic if he tries, mostly when you're alone and he makes sure he's the first one to tell you he loves you, it'll be surprisingly heartfelt and sweet and vulnerable, and then you've officially, one hundred per cent, seen Farleigh Start for everything he really is, which isn't all bad at all.

⚜️• Big-time pda, and if you're not into that, tell him now, right now, because he's fairly shameless and won't think twice before showing off to his friends by making out with you at uncalled moments, or being more subtle and sweet by having his arm naturally around your shoulders when you're watching a movie or at some social event. Big handholder as well; walking to and from class, alone, in public, doesn't make a difference to him.

⚜️• His jealousy factors into his affection outside sometimes, not that he doesn't trust you, but Farleigh definitely isn't the only player around, and when you're at Saltburn with Felix, he might find himself being frustratedly insecure that you'll be drawn to him because... well, it's Felix, and everyone loves Felix. So when you show that you're not interested at all and it's Farleigh you're dating, duh, he'll chill out a bit after being clingy for a day or two.

⚜️• I will say that even though I don't write smut, it's gotta be obvious that you'll have more than enough going on behind closed doors, because it's Farleigh, and he likes you a lot, so... yeah, brace yourself 😏

⚜️• All I'm gonna say, though, is watch out for Oliver Quick, who's most likely watching it all with that familiar longing and envy of having such a close and strong relationship with someone beautiful and unique, who seems to fit in with the rest of the family just by being you. He's going to. want it, really want it, and whether he gets it or not is a matter of luck and dark fate.

[otomewithfaye]

Sometimes my mind is random, and now I'm thinking about FWB with Anton (but with a PERFECT ending) // You always hated the fact that Anton thought of you as just a bedmate. But, you can't do anything. You can only hold back your jealousy, he is also often with a girl on his bed. But one day when he was about to leave your bed, you said 'Tonie please, I want a hug, I just want a hug, please. Please hug me for a moment, Tonie' You asked him desperately, feeling like you were a girl who was thirsty for attention.

(I hope you're not sick of my thoughts about Anton😭)

▶FWB!Anton

WC: 697

TW: Slight Smut, Slight Angst, Fluff, FWB Anton, fuck boy Anton, somewhat toxic Anton? Anton doesn’t know what love is at first.

Creators Log: Anonie, I could never be sick of your Anton thoughts, I love them too much, please keep them coming (even if I don’t get to them right away-)

Oh FWB Anton…I’m this close to just making individual Riize FWB headcanons like I did with my Seunghan one. 

Being in a FWB relationship with Anton wouldn’t be as confusing, just painful babes. Like so fucking painful, because literally every girl wants him. He’s super athletic, smart, rich, not to mention how incredibly attractive he is too. 

And he knows this too, and he takes it as an advantage. Why does he do it? Because he enjoys sleeping with random girls and leaving them heartbroken? Or is it because he’s trying to rebel against his parents? Who knows… 

But entering this kind of relationship, when he wants something from you he acts all nice and caring, buying you expensive shit. 

But when he doesn’t want anything, or got what he wanted he pretty much acts like you don’t exist or that you’re of insignificance. 

Your friends are all telling you this and saying you need to drop him, because it’s only causing you harm when you hear or find out about him sleeping with another girl. 

What’s worse is when you bring it up he acts all soft and says you’re the only one for him. But goes right back to what he was doing and refuses to make you two official. 

Getting to your limit when he’s over and about to leave, you just couldn’t help yourself but start crying. Breaking down in front of him just begging him to stay, to just hug you and tell you he loves you. Just something to show that he cares. 

Normally this would never have an effect on him, but there was just something about how pitiful you looked, calling out “Toni” instead of his full name. He wouldn’t know what to do, so he would just be there, patting your back. Not saying a word. 

When he does leave you’d be left heart broken, thinking that he made his answer clear by not saying a word. Not even holding you, just patting your back and leaving. Even being left embarrassed with how you practically threw yourself at him. 

You’d start ignoring him, being too embarrassed and crushed to even be in the same room as him. 

Anton on the other hand was so so so confused, for many reasons too. He was confused because weren’t you just begging him for his attention the other night? Why are you now ignoring his entire existence? And why does he care? Why does he feel so alone now that you’re not following him around, why does he find himself being so bored with other girls. Just not being able to find any enjoyment with them. 

He’d get so jealous too, not knowing why but the sight of you now talking and starting to form feelings for some random dude. What does that guy have that he doesn’t?. 

He would eventually get tired of it, dragging you off somewhere where no one can see you two. Going off but not necessarily yelling, just bombarding you with questions on why the sudden personality switches and why you’re going for that guy when he can provide so much more for you than that other dude ever could. 

You turn now to be confused, maybe even crying and going off that he didn’t like you and asking why he even cared. He would be rendered speechless, also not knowing why he found himself so upset over this. You would smile sadly saying “that’s what I thought”, heading to the door to leave Anton would stop you. Holding your hand and pulling you into a hug. Mumbling that he doesn’t know what got over him, confessing how he felt, that he found himself needing you and that he just couldn’t even as much look at another girl's way. 

You would put two and two together, realizing he did have feelings for you, he just didn’t know that’s what he was feeling. Wrapping your arms around him, you wouldn’t say anything, just enjoying the comfort of being in his arms. 

After that moment I don’t think he would make y’all official just yet, but he would stop his fuck boy ways. And when he finally came to terms that what he’s feeling is indeed that he likes you would be when he makes it official.

[llamagoddessofficial]

GRJRHRJDJRJD YOUR FARM SANS STUFF IS MAKING MY BRAIN BUZZZZZZ

What if some rich city dude started vying for Farm Sans' love interest? Like the dude is a total douche, and he turns around and tries to take Sans' girl? >:3

It's probably one of those assholes who buys a second/third home in the countryside, out-pricing local families, so he can have an 'escape' he only lives in for a month out of the year. He's in town to 'get away from it all' for a while.

This dude sets off all of Sans' alarm bells when he flirts with you. With any other person, Sans' reaction would depend on whether or not you were into them. He'd respectfully back off if you genuinely liked someone. But honestly, this douche's vibes are so rancid that Sans is going to be constantly brittle and cold and on the offensive. He has a few tactics up his sleeve.

For one - he uses his community connections. This guy (we'll call him Douche) is NOT welcome here, and Sans rubs it in. Country communities are tight-knit, can be pretty closed off, and are often actively hostile to people like Douche. Douche can barely buy groceries, people either ignore him or speak in cold and brusque tones, the snub from Sans and Papyrus means people will hardly look at him. Not to mention you've been so deeply accepted that it's as if you were born and raised there; nobody wants Douche to win you over. With or without Sans' encouragement, other folk will gossip to you about what a terrible person Douche is. "Oh, don't hang around with his sort, MC. You're such a sweetheart."

Sans is relatively oblivious to how his physique is attractive to you. But he's not oblivious to how physically intimidating he can be. He enjoys casual displays of his overwhelming strength, and the terror he witnesses in Douche's eyes; nothing shuts Douche up faster than having to watch his romantic rival wrangle a bull with just his hands. Sans will wander up to Douche (particularly while Douche is trying to chat you up) holding a sack of grain in one hand like it's nothing - "hey buddy, think you can hold this for me for a few secs?" - and then Sans will watch in glee as Douche tips over under its weight.

... Sans' favourite, though, is playing mind games. He fully leans into the 'dumb country guy' stereotype, acting like he's lazy and stupid, playing up his accent and easygoing tone. Until anytime Douche tries to seem smart. Then, in a searingly faux-friendly manner, Sans nitpicks him apart, correcting him on even the most complicated issues. "hey man, pretty sure socrates said that, not plato." "actually it's gravitational lapsing that causes that effect. lensin' is somethin' else entirely." "well i don't know about no NFTs... but i do know the blockchain is only as strong as its weakest link, an' deregulation makes it impossible to recover any phished money. seems like an inherently flawed system and no real way to store yer hard earned cash. but what do i know?" This also doubles as a way of making Sans look better in front of you, because you had no idea he was so smart.

Douche honestly doesn't stand a chance. But it's fun to watch him flounder.

[jkriordanverse]

I need a Max's POV or a Max rewrite of TIg because legit it would be the funniest thing ever like

This shawty with a cowboy hat approached my best friend and her gothic sister. He looks like he has a talent for booty popping. He looks ripped, dude, but ehhhhh, i don't do old people. Libby seems to be enjoying it, though. I can imagine him at a rodeo, riding around on a bull. hang on i don't think rodeos have bulls. wait no do they?

or,

This new boy had like super duper yellow hair. it was like an unripped lime, but like the insides because his hair wasn't really that yellow. He looks sour too, and he had eyes that's probably sharper than my 104th grandmother's butchering knife. Dude looks like he came out of the womb wearing suits, so it's best not to point out the small dust peck on his forearm. the fact that when he raises an eyebrow it lowkey looks like that one the rock meme too.

or,

Okay so like this drunk guy walks up to my bestie girlypop and he's like

"yo if yes is no and once is never, how many coupons do i have" or sth and she's like smart and stuff and they seem to match each other's freaks and stuff so she's like "erm, like 2" AND BAM. MAXTCH MAKER DOES IT AGAIN! But like besides that okay my homie where is ur shirt like bffr. Although considering how rich he is he probably won't notice if someone took it.

[cameoliob]

what are your headcanons for kallus and jovan? how did they get together? who fell first and whose heart broke first? do they still hate each other when kallus joins the rebellion or do they simply act like the pettiest bitches towards each other? enquiring minds want to know

ANON THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME AN EXCUSE TO TALK ABOUT THIS IVE BEEN WAAIITTTIINNNGG

Before I get into this I have to legally preface that 1. I’m a Kallus from the lower levels truther + I operate off the assumption that he does not have any family and that plays a decent role in what's going on 2. We dont know alot about Jovans personality so I lowkey just go off vibes but in my brain, teenage him is starry-eyed, a little naive, but SO kind. Older him is a little bit of a douche (not terrible, just the kind of guy that you have to scoff at whenever they talk too much). 

Okay I have a whole headcannoned timeline so im gonna lay this out for u

It's 19 BBY, the empire just started enlisting and all the rich Coruscanti kids are FIGHTING for a chance to go to the academy because “wow that sounds so much more fun than regular university.” Jovan is a part of this demographic. 

So you’ve got this whole class of rich kids doing rich kid things, and Jovan is having a great time; it’s the fourth week of school, he’s found his friend group, he gets along great with his bunk mates, everything is fantastic.

Except theres just this one… fucking guy…

This guy is in, like, half of Jovans classes and Jovan just can’t stop thinking about him because where in stars name did this skinny, scrappy, snappy, kid with a gnarly side eye come from???? Why is he so sickly looking???? And so mean????

And Jovan’s always been a curious guy, he wants to figure out what this guy’s deal is so he, of course, takes it upon himself to befriend this Edward Cullen looking ass dude. Easier said than done; Jovan finds out very quickly that Kallus does not trust easily and it takes at least three weeks of Jovan forcing his friendship on him (inviting him to sit with him in the mess hall, offering to help with assignments, sitting next to him in class, ect.) for Kallus to hold a full conversation with him. 

From there, though, it gets easier. Turns out that Kallus is, quite possibly, the coolest guy Jovan has ever met. He doesn't gaf about what people think about him, he’s gotten into fist fights before (real ones, not sparring!), he fucking parties, he fucks, he can hotwire a speeder, he’s so naturally smart, and cunning, and resourceful– Jovan is completely entranced by this guy. 

^^^(completely entranced by this guy.. I never said Jovan had good taste)

In the meantime, Jovan helps Kallus out with some of the pre-req classes needed for their first year, because as cool as he is, Kallus is not good at physics. 

By the end of their first year at the Academy, Jovan and Kallus become very close. It’s that kind of friendship between guys that, if you saw it from an outsider's perspective, you’d be like, “oh… are they..?? Do they..????? What???” but tbh they don't even think about it because they’re too busy being stupid

Now, the imps do NOT like taking days off, BUUUUT all those rich families donating to the academy do, so I imagine that– at least in the first few years of the empire– the academy had a short, 3 or so week long summer break. 

So we get to break, and Kallus is like “oh wait, I don’t have anywhere to go over break, guess I’ll just rough it out on the streets for a few weeks ig. Nothing new tbh.” And Jovan is like, “What???? No???? You’re not doing that????” and Jovan invites Kallus to tag along on his family vacation (idk where they go, maybe like Naboo or smth, I didn't think that far). Kallus obviously accepts. 

So they go on this vacation, and Jovan is thinking to himself, Waiiiiiittttt a minute………. I actually have wanted him so bad for like 3 months. Maybe it was a bad idea to invite him, like I’m gonna blow my cover fuckuckufckufcjukcf.  But he’s like not trying to do anything about it because he’s all nervous. But THEN, last week of vacation Kallus is like. “I actually think that you should let me kiss u on the mouth.” and Jovan is like “okay bbg say less.” (Jovan fell first if that wasn’t clear)

(This situation is about to get ALOT gayer)^^^

AND THEN THE BREAKUP

They graduated the academy a year prior, Kallus has been doing his ISB training, Jovan has been doing whatever tf you do to become a lieutenant. They’ve been together for four-ish years atp. 

Kallus is SO locked in with his ISB training. Like he was a dedicated student before (he was top of his class for a reason), but this is borderline obsession. He’s never home, always working, always tired, ect ect. In the meantime, Jovan is climbing the ranks and he is lowkey kind of power tripping over it. He’s getting kind of entitled, a little passive aggressive, and is not really putting effort in tbh.

So Jovan is all annoyed because Kallus is always at work and he literally just wants to hang out with his boyfriend. Tbh, he thinks that Kallus is getting way too ambitious way too quickly.

And Kallus is all annoyed because Jovan isn’t giving him any good reasons to leave work, in fact, Jovan has been grating his nerves lately because he doesn’t do anything. Jovan isn’t ambitious enough. 

The resentment is BUIILLLDDDIINNNGGG

The night they break up is FUCKING CRAZY, OKAY

Jovan picks a fight because he fucking feels like it and Kallus is not having ANY OF IT. Huge blowout fight ensues; Jovan says something classist or something, Kallus calls him an “entitled, prissy twat,” Jovan tells Kallus with the “you wouldn’t have even graduated without my help,” Kallus fuckinf kicks the wall or something, Jovan starts yelling about the drywall, Kallus is like “okay, fuck you AND your goddamn drywall,” and JUST LEAVES

The next day Jovan comms Kallus like “bbg pleapelaleapsleapsleaplsea I messed up im sorry plzplzpzpzlpzlzpzlzp” and Kallus ignores the hell out of him. 

Kallus is pissed because tbh if things just went better, he honest-to-god would have married that man, but noOOOooOOooO, Jovan had to be STUPID

AND THEN SIXTEEN YEARS LATER KALLUS ARRESTS THAT HO and he is SOOOO HAPPY ABOUT IT

But then Jovan shows up in the rebellion and Kallus is so annoyed. 

Because for 1. He is kind of prissy and self important and most people would agree with that 2. No way they ended up in the same place after 18 years, that is so bs, and 3. It’s so awkward that Jovan has all of this info about who Kallus was growing up, and the life he lived before going into the ISB– in fact, he probably knows more than anyone in the Ghost crew just because he was there– and that is so mortifying

Jovan is so stoked

Because for 1. Kallus did all that work in the ISB only to end up a rebel anyways and that is hilarious 2. He has so much mildly embarrassing material about him in his back pocket. But tbh it’s kind of bittersweet for him because Kallus is his One that got away (He was planning on going RING SHOPPING, and then he got BROKEN UP WITH, what the FUCK) and he always reasoned with it by thinking that Kallus was irrevocably changed by the empire, and the Kallus he fell in love with wasn’t going to come back. BUT THEN IT TURNS OUT THAT HE IS BACK– yeah, he’s got a beard now, and he pretends to be all serious, but he’s the same snarky, cunning, side eyeing idiot that he fell for. And he knows he can't have him because that train has LEFT THE STATION

^^(This art is old so its a little jank but shhhhhhhhh, its the vibes that matter)

So he obviously deals with this by selling embarrassing pictures of Kallus from their academy years to Sabine, because that’s probably the best revenge he’s going to get.

Kallus is obviously over him, and has been for a LONG time, he just doesn't like Jovans personality, and Jovan kinda wants Kallus back but apparently that's not an option so they do end up creating a dynamic where they are so petty to each other when they get the chance. (Which is not often because the rebellion is big and if they can avoid each other, they will.)

[i-cant-sing]

Okay but this has to be one my fav tropes ever:

And i can imagine the following characters for it:

DABI, because ofc he's the OG no. 1 nonchalant bad boy with childhood trauma pro max. Ofc he fits this trope, and yes he'll burn the world, burn himself for reader.

Bakugo, grumpy LOUD boy but gets quiet when you're around so everyone thinks that he must really hate you but he's just actually shy around you and wouldn't want to spook you away.

Naoya Zenin, for some reason, but like he's more obnoxious than grumpy, but he still fits the trope because I know Naoya, at least Naoya in my AUs, will grovel for reader but only the very few times that he fucks up so badly that yalls relationship is about to end. Otherwise, no. He'd still play the "ew, I hate women. Anti feminist🥂 bleached rat. Misogynistic and sexist rich dude" but only in public. In private, he's somewhat nicer to you.

Toji Fushiguro? Yes, because there's no shame in being on your knees for the woman you love and convince her to give you another chance and take you back. And it's not because he wants your money, no no, in fact here you go baby- take his card and spoil yourself. He's sorry for pretending he's poor before, but take him back... he's not leaving your doorstep until you do.

From my OCs: Theodore (my mute assassin/spt with 100% anger issues is quite literally obsessed with reader) and also Mahir (my suprr smart lawyer OC who owns his firm and but everything from scratch- he won't grovel... but he'll be panicking on the inside. Rest assured, Mahir doesn't fuck up much because he has too high IQ)

[freebirdsworldburritos]

The classism in the "music gear" scene is fucking atrocious. So many people will shit on other people for using affordable gear as a way to justify within themselves that dropping $3,000 on a guitar was a smart financial move.

About 3-4 years ago I joined a band and a month after I joined we went on some video podcast. Play a few songs, do an interview, something I've never done before but it seemed like it'd be fun.

I wasn't able to really get a word in during the interviews (stuttering/speech impediment/anxiety issues ran wild) but I was able to speak up whenever the host went around and asked us what our favorite instrument/gear brands were. Weird question, but alright buddy.

I've always been a fan of cheaper gear. You don't need all sorts of expensive shit to get the sound you want. So when he asked my answer was "Squier" and the dude just started laughing. Because who possibly would prefer one of the cheaper brands??? (Keep in mind this douche had a whole wall of the absolute worst looking collection of custom shop BC Rich guitars you've ever seen.)

Eventually he backed down once I started arguing with him about it, but his immediate elitist attitude really struck a cord in me because I see that shit all over the internet in music communities. "Oh you only like Squiers/Epiphones/Harley Bentons because you can't afford BIG BOY guitars like a $5,000 Gibson".

Fuck right off with that shit. Why would I pay thousands of dollars for a guitar when I can get something that works amazingly for me for just a few hundred dollars? The extra money I save by not dropping 4 figures on a guitar or amp goes towards paying my bills, feeding my kids, just trying to fucking live and exist.

At this point I've had to sell 99% of my music gear after over a decade of following the gear chase. I only have a "cheap" acoustic I bought several years ago for $350 and it's the best guitar I've ever had. I love my little busted neck Hummingbird to death.

I'm much happier now than I was when I had a huge assortment of pedals and guitars to choose from. The Gear Chase is designed to make you want to spend more and more money in an endless pursuit of finding that "perfect" piece of gear. Guitar companies, partnered youtubers, influencers, and all sorts of advertisement campaigns are purposefully trying to misguide you into thinking you NEED their product. It's marketing and capitalism at work and so many musicians fall for it every time. I fell for it for years before I got completely fed up with it.

Go out and gig with your Squier Bullet Strat and a cheap amp you found at a pawn shop, fuck anyone that gives you shit for it. Go ahead and record with whatever you have at your disposal. Put out an album that's comprised of Voice Memos you recorded on your phone with just an acoustic and your voice.

Music, like any art, is about way more than what you used to get there. It's how you express yourself that really matters. Don't listen to the elitists and marketers telling you the only way you can authentically reach your creative vision is by buying their snake oil.

[princess-glassred]

No pennywise no juniper hills au where Richie has a podcast as a side gig when he's not doing comedy, and as a bit of a joke he thinks it would be funny if he did an episode where he invites his childhood bully on as a guest. Henry is working as a janitor and his life just kinda sucks now, so he agrees to it. It's a very funny episode of the podcast, but the down side is its TOO funny, and now he's forced to keep inviting Henry back until he's essentially a cohost at this point. Everytime Henry's on he basically just says the most out of pocket insane shit, because even though he never killed anyone or went to juniper hills in this au he's still a total nutcase.

He's dumb, a chronic liar, and just all around pretty fucking weird so everybody likes when Richie has him on cause it's funny. Especially with the way Richie is genuinely quite smart and witty guy, so his absolute baffled expression at everything Henry says is like the funniest thing ever. Just their weird ass dynamic of "Bumfuck nowhere Janitor with a heaping of mental issues that's a dumbass" and "Actually smart, rich leftist comedian with no patience for his ex-bully's bullshit" makes the podcast really popular. Even when Henry is saying bigoted homophobic shit, it's balanced out ny how Richie just reiterates that he's a fucking idiot.

Average Podcast conversation basically goes like this:

R: Man, remember when you used to call me the F slur and shit.

H: Yeah, good times, it was fun.

R: The funny part is I'm actually gay now, so I guess you were kinda right about that one, huh.

H: Cool.

R: Cool? Just cool??

H: I mean, what the hell am I supposed to do Richie? Kick your ass? I see fags all the time at work now, as long as you don't try to fuck my butt or something I can deal with it for an hour.

R: Ew, dude you gotta realize not everyone wants to fuck you.

H: Impossible.

R: Henry, do you honestly believe there is nobody in the world who isn't attracted to you?

H: I mean, I never said they had to be attracted to me, I just said everyone wants to fuck me.

R: Oh my god- *buries his face in his hands*

H: *Looks to crew member* This guy is a really bad cohost, you know? First he doesn't even pay me and no he says no one wants to sleep with me.

R: What?

H: Don't get paid.

R: I literally do pay you.

H: No.

R: Yes, I do, you're just making shit up for attention again.

H: When you think about it, this is basically slavery.

R:... •_•

H:... •_•

R:... •_•

H: Unpaid labor is slavery.

R: I fucking can't with you.

[blueicequeen19]

Attitude Adjustment

Warnings: unprotected sex, oral, use of toys, squirting, the works

I haul my crazy, kicking and screaming girlfriend out the bar over my shoulder. I knew going out was a bad idea. I knew she’d had an attitude all night for no reason. I told her to behave multiple times and she’d told me no or kindly told me to fuck off.

Now we have to leave because she was trying to fight some six-five brick house of a dude for cutting her in line and I wasn’t about to get my ass handed to me because he disrespected her, even as her smart mouth yells profanities over my shoulder.

“What am I going to do with you?” I grumble as I kick the exit door open and make my way across the parking lot.

“Put me down!” She snaps.

I grunt when a sharp slap lands across my ass and I swat hers hard in return. She gasps, falling limp over my shoulder as I walk us over to my truck while massaging away the burn she no doubt felt but also shielding anyone’s view of her exposed ass.

“I can walk you know.” She mutters as I unlock the door on the passenger side and yank it open.

“Do you? Because you seem to have forgotten how to act.” I lower her onto the seat and stare back at her defiant, bratty little eyes. Eyes that were begging for trouble and punishment.

“That’s rich coming from you.” She spats, pursing her lips and crossing her arms like the little brat she is. I take a deep breath as I buckle in her seat belt, making sure to brush against her nipples and earning a gasp as I pull back. I slam the door in her face before she can smart off and round the truck to get in on the driver side. I take my time buckling my own seatbelt and starting the truck as I feel her growing angrier and angrier.

“I didn’t do anything wrong! That guy—.” I cut her off with a warning glare, immediately slapping my hand over her mouth.

“Here’s what going to happen. You’re going to keep this smart mouth shut the whole way home. If you’re good, Ill suck out your soul through that needy little pussy because it’s obvious you need an attitude adjustment.” I savor the way her breathing shallows and her pupils blow as I let my eyes rake over her perfect body, “If not, I’ll edge you until you’re crying and begging then I’ll leave you like that while I go sleep on the couch. Got it?”

She swallows as she nods and I pull back, throwing the truck in gear and starting the twenty minute drive home. Part of me hopes she fails because I get off on punishing her. There’s nothing quiet like having an alpha female begging and at your mercy, desperate for your touch.

Either way, I plan on fucking her throat and making her cry regardless. I keep glancing over at her, watching the way her tits strain against the seat belt and I can’t stop myself from reaching over and palming one. Her eyes narrow at me but she doesn’t say anything as I lightly pinch her nipple. She hisses through her teeth but turns to look out the window, not giving in to my antics.

“Fuck, I don’t know if I’m going to be able to wait until we get home.” I taunt, sliding my hand down between her legs under her skin tight dress and cupping her pussy. Her panties are soaked. I smirk, watching the road as I stroke her clit like some horny teenager that can’t keep his hands to himself.

She snaps her legs closed and turns to face the window, giving me the silent treatment like a good girl. She wants that reward at home. She also knows I hate being ignored. My hands tighten on the wheel as I fight off the anxiety and the urge to beg her to come closer. I promised a punishment and reward so I’m going to see it through.

We reach the old fish shack out in the marsh, not far from John B and Sarah, and she jumps out before I even turn the key off.

“Y/N.” I call, chasing after her as she stomps off towards the house. I grab her elbow and spin her around, throwing her over my shoulder again before she can argue.

“JJ Maybank, I swear to god if you don’t fucking put me down!” She screams, just as I unlock the door and shove it open with a chuckle.

“So feisty today. I think someone needs a spankin’.” My hand slaps down on her bared ass and she yelps followed by a frustrated growl.

“Go fuck yourself.”

“No but I will fuck you. That mouth. That pussy. That ass. In that order.” I kick my shoes off as I make my way down the hallway and to our bedroom. I was practically giddy with excitement as I unbutton my shorts and step out of them as they hit the floor, tossing her onto the bed next. She scurries to the headboard, that defiant look still in her eyes as I toss my shirt next.

“I’m not in the mood.” She scoffs, her dress bunched up around her waist and showing off them thick thighs as she tries to hide her pussy from me.

“Too bad. I am.” I grab her ankles and yank her down to the edge of the bed, fighting back a smirk. I shove her thighs apart as I lean down to kiss her. She opens up for me, threading her fingers through my hair as her tongue dances with mine. My fingers slip between her thighs, finding her nice and soaked for me. I push the thin scrap of fabric to the side to stroke her clit. She pants against my lips, lifting her hips to get me where she needs.

“I was good,” she breathes. “Give me what I want.”

“You are in no position to make demands.” I growl back, my knees hitting the floor anyway as I drape her legs over my shoulders. I’ll never pass up the opportunity to worship her pussy. I kiss along her thighs, biting and licking away the sting as she trembles for more. I move my mouth to her core, leaving feather like kisses everywhere but her clit and she wiggles in frustration, trying to grind her pussy against my face.

“JJ, please!” She cries, tugging hard on my hair to the point it burns.

“I love it when you beg.” I murmur, running my tongue lightly down her slit and she throws her head back, her bottom lip quivering in anguish.

“Please! Please! I can’t take it anymore! I need you, baby. Please.” I don’t waste another second before clamping my hands down on her thighs and burying my face in her sweet slice of heaven.

I flick her clit with my tongue rapidly, keeping the right amount of pressure that has her squirming to get away from me despite her need for her release. She chants my name like a pray, her fingers yanking on my hair as she rides my face until she finally screams just as I suck hard on her clit. My face is soaked but I don’t stop, quickly ripping her second and third orgasms from her until she’s sobbing for relief.

I jump to my feet and push her to her knees even as she shakes violently. She licks her lips, ready for what’s coming as she tries to stay on her shaking knees.

“That was your reward for the drive home. Now take your punishment.” I fist her hair before quickly shoving my cock past her teeth and down her throat. She immediately gags, pushing on my thighs even as she starts to stroke me with her tongue. I groan, my balls already tingling and ready to unload down her pretty throat.

“Fuck.” I moan, fucking her face with two hands, her back against the bed so she can’t retreat. I can’t help the way my head falls back in pleasure, forcing me to look up at the ceiling even as my eyes threaten to roll back. I force myself to look down at her tear streaked face, loving the way her make up is ruined and she continues to gag.

“You’re so pretty like this. Mouth stuffed full of cock. Using those lips to pleasure me.” I groan, pulling out of her mouth just as I’m about to cum. I’m not ready yet. I’m no where near done with her.

I quickly manhandle her onto the bed, forcing her flat on her stomach after stuffing a pillow under her hips then returning to the nightstand for what’s coming next. I return to her, straddling her hips as she shakes her ass at me in offering. I swat each cheek hard but she only groans in response.

“God, this ass.” I groan, palming the flesh for a moment before pouring the lube on her little puckered hole. The cool gel surprises her and she yelps, trying to prop herself up on her elbows but I push her back down.

“Lay down and take it, baby.” I coo, spreading her cheeks with one hand as I slowly start pushing the plug inside. She whimpers from the stretch so I quickly stroke her clit with my free hand, using pleasure to dull the pain.

“That’s it. I told you I’d claim all three holes tonight.” I kiss each of her ass cheeks, loving the plump flesh that still holds my hand print. She’s weak from the multiple orgasms but it doesn’t stop her from casting a defiant look at me over her shoulder as I move in to position.

“Open your mouth and you won’t like what I fill it with.” I warn, silently praying she gives me a reason to gag her but she clamps her mouth shut if only for a moment before I thrust inside her soaked pussy as hard as I can. She shouts in surprise, burying her face in the mattress to stifle her cries as I start to fuck her. My hands come down on either side of her head, holding my body above hers a fuck her hard and deep like we both needed.

“Fuck, J.” She whimpers, her pussy spasming and clamping down on my cock as she nears another screaming orgasm.

“Who do you belong to?” I growl in her ear, knowing she’s seconds away from exploding.

“You! You, J!” She cries, just as her eyes roll back and she squirts everywhere. I chuckle, turning her head to capture her lips with my own. Her kisses are weak and her body is giving out as she shakes violently so I kiss her sweetly as I chase my own release, my balls so full they fucking ache.

“That’s right, baby. I fucking own your ass. Don’t you forget it.”

[bbunnieee]

Bif Taylor Hc’s (BULLY)

(js to say this rq, i had decided to write a couple of hcs for Bully characters starting with bif because the fandom is DEAD butt i kinda have no experience in writing n stuff, so i’ll learn as i go :). )

“Not cool man, not cool.” - BT

Regular

- starting off, i do see him having brothers, not sure why i just thought of it and it seem like it fits. him being the like the second youngest or something, and having older brothers that tease him back to back (because it’s what brothers do) and younger ones that just get on his nerves fits him to me somehow. (plus goes along with another hc i have)

- He’s gotten teased/bullied since like 7th grade. and that same school year is when he’s actually gotten into boxing and started bulking up because of his more scrawny figure. and when he was confident enough, he actually stood up to his bully’s and began talking back to his brothers when they’d tease him and been left alone ever since. (besides by his brothers)

- he’s lowk condescending. like he only is really that way if he doesn’t know you. but once he does get to know you and is more comfortable being around you, he drops the attitude and acts how he really is,

- nerd.?? I only say this because i imagine him liking comics, books, video games, and star wars. now the comics he likes are just DC with his favorite character being batman,(he’s literally batman in his mind/j) but he’d read some marvel but only for spider man, deadpool and maybe hulk. and he’d like games like gta, resident evil, silent hill and just popular games with storylines. as also i imagine him liking star wars for a longg time, so he’d probably watch it for a nostalgia type feel.

- sneakerhead. At home he has hundreds of all types of shoes waiting to be worn in his large closet (i just had thought of him being a sneakerhead. i mean like he’s rich isn’t he? plus the dialogue in the game he says “cool kicks!” complementing jimmy on his shoes so just imagineeee)

- dimples.!!

- i’m not saying he’s obsessed with school drama/gossip but he might as well be. once he hears something , definitely expect derby and pinky to know.. no gossip nor drama goes untouched by him. (but according to bif you didn’t hear it from him yk)

- hes more “street smart” than “book smart”. he has average, decent, passing grades, but the other preps (besides pinky) would ask him about “slang” or terms that they naturally wouldn’t know.

- dude can be meann. like really mean, he’s heard things from his brothers and bullies so putting that stuff together is brutal. depending on how sensitive the person is he can send someone like algie crying in a bathroom stall just by his words. or if your not as sensitive, you’ll at least be thinking about what he said for a good while.

- he actually respects old people very much. literally the type to walk a old person across the street then continue to fight a guy on the street for messing with a poor old woman.

- dry ah texter. he prefers irl convos and facetime so a texting convo would definitely be something like:

y/n: heyy bifff

bif: hi

y/n: wyd rn?

bif: nothing

y/n: i’ve got plans tmr if you wanna tag along?

bif: nope, i got plans too. bye

and yea.

- usually the quiet type, but when it’s a actual conversation going on he’s pretty funny.

- randomly says his outta pocket thoughts out loud, it’s pretty much a habit for him to just be like “i wonder how many 7 year olds i can beat up” and that’s that.

- smartass

- perfect ah teeth

- snores soooo fucking loud that you wouldn’t believe it. can literally hear him 3 doors down if the walls aren’t thick enough.

- likes rap, especially 90s rap but he’ll listen to new gen rap as long as it’s not mumble rap (he js might still listen to mumble rap at times)

- batman for halloween

- i forgot to add this- but i feel like he sometimes adds his 2 cents during awkward situations, or if not already awkward, he makes it awkward

Dating

- he is a simpp. literally will do anything for you. To taking his dads credit card to spoil you, Beat up people giving you a hard time or just scaring them off, and to just sneaking in your dorm to talk for hours

- he doesn’t do PDA really, but he will kiss you and play in your hair. or even whisper sweet things in your ear just to see you giggle or just smile

- he’d literally beg his dad to get his own car just so he can take you to even nicer places for dates

- he invites you to his house for dinner often and gets his cook to make your favorite foods

- (for girls) i’d think he isn’t around women a lot besides his nanny, pinky and some classmates he sits next to. but that’s about it. so when he first started dating you, pinky and his nanny were the ones he went to for advice, and so he basically did what they recommended just because he didn’t want to lose you as you were his first real and actual partner.

- his flirting isn’t actually bad.. i mean he’d hear his more experienced brothers say all types of things to girls, and he’d just try it on you and it works.

- let’s say bif is with a greaser.. he definitely wouldn’t see that coming at all. Bif taylor dating a greaser.. he probably be a bit hesitant showing you off with the preps (derby) simply because of the things they might say to you and he wouldn’t want someone he loves to hear that. but eventually he tells them something like “that’s y/n my partner,” and leaves it at that

- definitely needs validation and affection in the relationship.

End.

lmk how i did ‼️

[baneonono]

watch house md for the first time with me pt 2

hi I’m on episode 17. guys I hate this plot with the stupid rich jerk. can house get to out manipulating him. can house yell at him. can house put him in his place. can cuddy tell him off. can someone get rid of him. why do I have to keep watching this stupid dude pretend he’s so smart about something he knows nothing about.

I don’t know if it’s the stupid rich guy plot but maybe foreman and Cameron aren’t so bad. I actually kinda like foreman. I do not understand why Cameron is into house. I’m praying to god that there’s no romance between them ever once in the show because I would probably stop watching(I’m a liar). Chase is making me mad because he’s not staying behind house. no offense to Hugh Laurie but I do not understand how people are attracted house. I mean I understand how Wilson is. but Cameron what- how- why- I think this is something I am too asexual to understand

loved that moment where house basically said he’s bisexual to Wilson in ep 16 and then they said they were paying for lunch together. I will grasp at all queer straws I can get and drink my milkshake as fast as possible with all of them

[d-criss-news]

Darren Criss and Helen J Shen Make Robots Feel More Human in Maybe Happy Ending

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Darren Criss and Helen J Shen are currently starring in Maybe Happy Ending, a new musical at the Belasco Theatre where they play two retired Helper-bots who formerly assisted humans with their day-to-day tasks. Set in the future and directed by Michael Arden (Parade, Once On This Island), the show takes the audience on a journey through love, loss, and belonging. It’s received rave reviews on Broadway after first debuting in South Korea, then moving to Japan, China, and Atlanta, Georgia.

This marks Criss’s return to Broadway after stints in American Buffalo, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, and How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying. He also starred as Blaine Anderson in Glee and won an Emmy Award for his performance as Andrew Cunanan in The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story. Shen is making her Broadway debut after recently graduating from the University of Michigan.

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Darren Criss: I was about to go into tech rehearsal for American Buffalo at the top of 2020, an American contemporary classic play with Sam Rockwell and Laurence Fishburne. I was like, “Wow, dude, the show is cooking. I’m opening this on Broadway. All these incredible things are happening.” Then, it was no more. I feel like I went through the pandemic with these two men [Rockwell and Fishburne], because we were all so excited to be part of this show. We would FaceTime regularly, read through the play, and talk about life. The show went on in our minds. We weren’t sure if we were ever going to get to do it.

That was something we kept chugging through, and we finally got to come back in ’22 with some of these things which now seems so in the rearview mirror: COVID restrictions and testing and audiences wearing masks. We were very diligent about all that stuff, and luckily we’re on the other side of that.

But at that time, that show was the longest I’d ever been on Broadway. The poster for that show at Circle in The Square [Theater] remained there for two and a half something years, even though the show hadn’t ever opened.

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Talkback On their initial reactions to Maybe Happy Ending:

Criss: I think the best stories we’ve heard are the ones we weren’t prepared to hear. It’d be like if Batman wasn’t as culturally ubiquitous as it is, and I tried to pitch you Batman. You’d be like, “That sounds so dumb. Rich guy fights a clown? This sounds absolutely ridiculous, and there’s no way this is going to be one of the most popular IPs the world has ever seen.”

That is what’s so exciting: When you feel people in the audience truly not knowing what’s going to happen, whether production-wise or as a spectacle. You don’t know if some things are going to look a certain way, you don’t know things are going to sound a certain way, and you don’t know if the story is going to feel a certain way.

Musicals live and die by their music. I love Shakespeare, but I’m not listening to Shakespeare in the car on the way to work in the subway. Musicals have that. They have this sort of extracurricular component that you can have forever after the fact. When I listened to the music, I was like, “Oh, wait. Hang on. This is really special. Why is this so smart? Why is this so beautiful and elegant and sophisticated and familiar and nostalgic?”

That keyed me in. And then I read the script and I went, “Wait, hang on.” I am glad that I was available to do it, because I think it’s one of the greatest things that could have happened to me at this point in my life.

Shen: It felt like a very kismet meeting of minds and hearts and souls and stuff. Still to this day, I’m like, “Thanks for having me, you guys.”

Criss: This was a train that was bound for glory with or without us.

On what they’ve learned from each other:

Criss: We went to University of Michigan together. That’s certainly a fun relating point, and something that I’m really proud of, the fact that two U of M alums share the marquee of the Belasco Theater. That’s so special.

But, to keep using the academic reference, I am an upperclassman now, which is very strange for me, as I kind of crossfade into that chapter of my life. I’ve always been the young gun. Now, being on the other side of that, I feel like I’ve been given a role of, “Okay, I am a senior now. I tell the freshmen what’s what, and hopefully, I’m saying something correct.” It’s an occasion I have to rise to. In rehearsals, from the very beginning, the loud voices of doubt were certainly prominent. I think Darren, Michael, the people who have more experience in the industry, and just experience in existing in these spaces, have taught me how to not apologize for my space that I take up, which is something that I think I’m still processing and still will continue to be processing throughout.

On what this show means for Asian-American representation on Broadway:

Shen: It means everything to me. If I was sitting in the audience, to see a show like this, to see someone who looks like me embody this character, be nuanced, be flawed, be all the kinds of things, instead of just the flavoring of a body, is everything to me.

Growing up, if you don’t see an example on the path that you’re choosing, it can feel impossible. You feel like, “Oh, there’s one spot.” That is so frustrating, to feel that sense of competition with people who look like me, instead of feeling like I stand in solidarity with them and stand in power next to them.

It’s been amazing to talk to people at the stage door who are like, “I’ve never seen myself represented on stage in this way.” I’ve never felt it where my Asian-ness isn’t the only thing that is my character. To have my Asian-ness be just a fact [of my character] is so much. It means so much to me. To see my parents see that, too. They wanted to protect me so much. They wanted me not to feel pain in this industry, and for them to see that I can inspire others is probably really exciting for them, and exciting for me too.

Criss: Everything that has happened for this show thus far was not on my itinerary. The response has been wonderful, but that’s not why we’re doing it. It’s not why we’re here. We’re in it because we found a beautiful story that we fell in love with, and we’re lucky enough to be asked to join it. It’s better to pursue something you love and potentially fail than succeed at something that you can’t stand. We’re in that rarefied wave, which is the combination of your passion and excitement matching those who are outside of it.

I want to be very clear about this, I think what I love about this show’s heart and soul is not that it is an Asian show. It is inhabited by Asian-American actors, and those Asian-American actors represent something really beautiful. I love the idea that in the future, this is a show that can have anybody from any background in it, because the story is so enduring and such a human story. My million dollar clickbait line is that I believe that the show is about as Korean as Romeo and Juliet is Italian. It’s just where we set our scene.

Now, at the same time, fuck yeah—Asian excellence on Broadway. It’s really exciting. Having any kind of representation in any mainstream commercial form of entertainment is wonderful.

On Elsie Fest, Broadway’s Music Festival, which Criss co-created and produces every year:

Criss: Elsie is such a passion project for me. It’s for this community that I love so very much, and I’m so pleased that it’s taken on a bit of a life of its own. I will keep doing it for as long as I can.

Having people like Helen, and the new guns, like Joy Woods, Lizzy McAlpine, and Rachel Zegler, people who will show up to be a part of this, is so encouraging to me. It gives me such faith in a community that I already have endless faith in and love and appreciation for. It is my small way of thanking this community for what it has given my life and trying to give it back in whatever way that I can.

Shen: Elsie, to me, it’s a love letter to the inner child, to the inner theater kid that we all are continuously. I have been a fan of this, obviously, for years. I can’t believe I got to sing A Very Potter Musical this year.

Criss: Andrew Barth Feldman was at the first Elsie Fest ever in 2015, almost 10 years ago, a little brace-faced teenager at the VIP meet and greet to meet StarKid, my friends from Michigan who made A Very Potter Musical, and there he was almost 10 years later singing the song that he was there to support with us. That is the best.