#sometimes ungrateful victims

[dyinggirldied]

What if the hero decides to "retire" early so they can focus more on their college/finding job.

They are very secured in the fact that there are plenty more of heroes that can stop their rogues.

Only, they don't expect for their villains to miss them.

[growingstories]

Danny the feeder (NEW PICTURES)

At 36 years old, Danny was in amazing shape, tall, very handsome and had a big paycheck as a freelance tax consultant. He was a proud gay man and a fitness freak, spending hours in the gym sculpting his physique. However, Danny had a peculiar habit that raised a few eyebrows among his friends.

Danny had a tendency to seek out young, ripped men at gay bars and take them home. But instead of pursuing typical romantic relationships, he would shower them with gifts, cook delicious meals, and pay for everything. He would manipulate them into eating more, making them lazy, and ultimately causing them to gain weight. Once they complained about their newfound weight and planning on losing weight, Danny would break up with them and move on to his next victim.

One day, Danny met Diego, a student from Brazil. Diego fell head over heels for Danny, enticed by not only the great sex but also the lavish meals, gifts, and new clothes. However, as time went on, Diego began to feel lonely and lazy. Danny forbade Diego from going to the gym without him or going out in general. Danny would make sure to keep Diego busy with big meals, Netflix series, expensive gifts and sex, lots of sex. Danny was hitting Diego up and lured him into eating a bit more in return of a blowjob or all the way. Danny would get up early to prepare a big breakfast, after breakfast Diego would be too full and tired to get out of bed which gives Danny time for a good workout. Danny would let Diego stay in bed for days bringing him more food and sex. The only time Diego would be outside was for his classes or to drive from home to a restaurant for a lavish meal combined with lots of booze followed by passionate sex. Danny gave him an unlimited Uber account so Diego wouldn’t have to walk a single step.

Three months into their relationship, Diego found himself ten kilograms heavier, feeling lazy, and having lost his coveted six-pack. Danny, however, had already started shopping for bigger-sized clothes to accommodate Diego's expanding waistline. Diego wanted to eat healthy again and go to the gym to get back in shape, which led to many very heated arguments with Danny. Danny labeled him ungrateful and stopped the cooking and paying.

Diego panicked as he didn’t have any savings left so he apologised and hoped he could sneak in some cardio in his day sometime. Danny started cooking bigger meals and became more controling. He drove Diego everywhere and wanted to know every detail of his day. Diego got teased in classes for his new belly but also running the school stairs up and down became a challenge. One morning after an amazing session of sex and a huge breakfast Danny left Diego alone in bed again for his workout. Diego thought this would be a moment to go for a run and get fit again. First he couldn’t find his workout clothes, so he tried on some of Danny. XL… he used to be a M when he started dating Danny. He tried to close his shoes but his belly was in the way. When he was ready to go out he saw Danny back in the house. Danny was back early because he was horny and wanted a second session, therefor he brought a dozen doughnuts and two big frappucinos. But when seeing Diego in his workout clothes his mood changed and got en evil look in his eye. Diego got scared and awaited Danny’s reaction. Danny ordered him to eat the doughnuts and drinks at once. After the sixth Diego protested. Danny calmly said, I pay so I play. If you don’t like the rules you can leave. Diego realized that this game was pure manipulation so he got up and left.

Back in his dorm, Diego found himself broke, 25kg heavier, out of shape and with clothes that no longer fit him. Diego went into the college gym and started his journey to become his old self again.

Six months passed and Diego felt confident again to move on and decided to visit a gay bar. There, he struck up a conversation with Thomas, a very handsome nerdy guy with a big broad chest and shoulders and big round biceps. He did however have with a bit of a potbelly. It was a fun night but Thomas revealed that he was already in a relationship but promissed to stay in contact as friends.

Curiosity sparked, Diego checked Thomas's Instagram and discovered that Thomas was Danny's new boyfriend! Thomas, too, had fallen victim to Danny's manipulative ways, as evident by his potbelly becoming more prominent with each passing week on social media.

Diego saw that Danny would take Thomas out almost every day, which he wasn’t allowed. Fancy restaurants and bars and big piles of food on every picture. Every week he would see Thomas in new clothes and wear expensive watched and get a bit bigger.

Diego started chatting to Thomas determined to help both himself and Thomas escape from Danny's clutches, Diego told him how he himself was being manipulated to eat more and gain weight. Thomas was in denial first, he claimed that he was very happy and he didnt mind the extra weight as he felt strong and Danny appreciated him for it.

After a few weeks Diego received a call from Thomas that he wanted to meet up. Diego found Thomas nervously eating a big piece of cake. He saw that Thomas gained even more weight.

Thomas explained that he wanted Danny to stop because he had Thomas stand on the scale every day and if he hadn’t gained weight that day he would be locked up in the kitchen until he finished the extra calorie amount. He got scared because he didn’t want to become too fat and lose control over his life.

Diego explained Danny’s routine. Thomas was surprised to hear that Danny would do this to guys. Diego asked how Thomas was allowed to leave the house without him. Thomas told Diego that he had been in in the house for 4 days of not stop eating, Netlfix and sex and that he really needed to get some air and choose his own groceries. So in order to get his daily goal he ate a cake and brought home two more. Danny was disappointed that he left without him and he got home Danny played the victim.

Thomas felt sorry for Danny and gave him another chance, resulting into more eating and control by Danny. Diego concocted a plan and asked Thomas to trust him and do what he would say.

Diego started to flirt with Danny online, showcasing his new and improved body. Even though he never got his six pack back he looked better then ever. Danny, unable to resist the temptation, invited Diego to a restaurant. Danny informed Thomas that he had a business engagement and would be home at 8, while simultaneously Diego instructed Thomas to prepare a sumptuous dinner for himself and Danny.

At the restaurant, Diego ordered large meals, feigning an inability to finish them. Danny, eager to please Diego, gladly polished off the leftovers. Back at home, Thomas prepared an indulgent dinner, but Danny claimed he wasn't hungry. Thomas persisted with his questions of where he was until Danny finally relented and ate to avoid further interrogation.

This pattern continued for several weeks, with Thomas and Diego successfully luring Danny into overeating. Thomas noticed Danny's abs becoming less defined and shared his observations with Diego, confirming that their plan was indeed working. Thomas too, continued to gain weight as Danny kept feeding him snacks and binge watch nights of Netflix. Together, Diego and Thomas initiated phase two.

Diego invited Danny over to his place, ensuring that Thomas could go to the gym while Danny was occupied with him. Thomas prepared a breakfast for Danny upon his return, followed by morning intimacy. Then, as Danny headed off to work, Diego had a big dinner prepared to satiate Danny's ever-growing appetite.

Weeks went by, and Danny expanded larger and larger, becoming an ex-jock with a prominent belly. People at the gym started to make remarks about his weight gain, but he dismissed these comments by claiming that he was bulking up. Still addicted to the attention, the sex, and the food, Danny continued to eat whatever Thomas and Diego served him in exchange for their affection.

Months passed, and Danny's once athletic physique was now unrecognizable. With a big belly and struggling to tie his shoes, Danny found himself helpless and unable to stop. He pleaded with Diego to stop cooking such lavish meals, but Diego shut him down, reminding him to eat his food or there would be no sex. Thomas followed suit, and Danny resigned himself to this new reality. But also Diego and Thomas could’t keep up with the amounts of food they were having. Diego started to grow a belly again and Thomas just continued to grow bigger. It was really urgent to change.

Phase four was the final stage of their plan. Both Thomas and Diego decided to break up with Danny simultaneously, leaving him completely surprised. They told Danny the truth about how Danny had manipulated and mistreated them, using food as a weapon to control their weight. Danny broke down in tears, expressing sincere remorse and apologizing to both of them. Danny had transformed into a blimp of his former self, and he didn't know where to start on his journey toward redemption. It was at this moment that Thomas and Diego, having seen the error of their ways, decided to show compassion and take care of Danny. Despite their tumultuous history, they began to rebuild their friendship, ensuring that Danny remained full and satisfied so that he wouldn't be driven to manipulate and harm others again.

[going-fanfics17]

You're enough ( Jeon Wonwoo * OC )

themes - angst , emotional abuse , trauma , fluff .

Summary - it was never enough for your mother . No matter what you did. She always found a way to victimize herself and make you the villain make you feel as if you are nothing compared to others . It just worsened and now you do not know how to deal with all those feelings , until one day Wonwoo gets to know about everything and steps up to make you feel better .

It all started since middle school . But to think of it , it was always there . The comparing , the snide remarks , the expectations that crossed the limits . And it was all due to that one girl . Hyein . Hyein , the apple of your mother's eye , Hyein the girl who could never do anything wrong , Hyein the girl who was always better than you , who got better grades than you , who excelled everywhere and was overall an all rounder . Sometimes it felt like your mother wanted you to be Hyein . It was infuriating , suffocating .

You were not allowed to have any free time because Hyein didn't . She went to competitive class and participated in competitive exams . You had to be like her and if you weren't then it just turned into a lecturing session .

If you got second prize at dance , you mother pointed out that Hyein got first prize , if you scored 93% then all your mother could say that it wasn't enough or good because Hyein got 99% . No matter what you did , it was never enough , it was always a competition , a ruse to save her own face and satisfy her own ego . It took time , time to realize that your mother was a narcissist . And if you pointed out all the comparing , she would guilt trip you and say that all she had done for the past 15 years was look after you , cook for you , buy you clothes and took you to tuition classes , forgetting that that was her basic duty . She signed up to be a mother knowing that it comes with all those responsibilities but it didn't matter . You didn't matter . It didn't matter if you poured your heart and soul and worked twice as hard to score good marks , your hard work didn't matter , Hyein mattered . First she said that you don't study enough , then she said that you are not as hardworking , then she said that you are dumb , then she said that she wished you had died and then she would not be stuck with a useless and ungrateful brat , then she used your insecurities against you , then she brought up the fact that you didn't make it to the first list of any college . But guess who did ? Hyein .

You had enough of it so you moved out at 18 and cut off contact with your mother . Moved cities , countries , to get away from her and you started to get better . Started to appreciate yourself , wanted to believe that you were enough , your efforts were enough . But it was hard . Years of emotional abuse cannot be wiped out in months . That's impossible . You graduated college in the US and got a good job . Then one day someone bumped into you . A guy , an extremely handsome guy . He begged you to help him hide from some obsessive fans , so you took him into a library and hid with him in the corner section that was always empty . After sometime he introduced himself .

" Hi , I am Wonwoo . "

" Hi Wonwoo , I am Mi-Hi ."

And that is how a friendship began to blossom. You found out that he was a kpop idol and soon enough , after six months , you two started dating . Wonwoo was smitten by you the moment he saw you . The way you spoke , the way you helped him , the way you were confident , it all attracted him to you . You helped him realize that he was a human and that he deserved a break . He never felt so loved . It was different , different from the love that he received from his brothers or his parents . After a year of long distance , you quit your job and moved to South Korea with him . Moving back to the place where you had experienced such trauma made you a bit withdrawn from Wonwoo , you got less enthusiastic as you walked down the familiar streets , tears in the corner of your eyes as the memories and harsh words came back . But the dam just broke one day .

It was Seventeen's 8th anniversary and you were invited to it . The boys had decided to go to a small restaurant that served the most delicious food . It was simple but authentic .

" We ate there nearly everyday when we were trainees " , Wonwoo told you as he drove to the restaurant with Mingyu and Woozi in the backseat and you being his passenger princess .

" Noona , you have to try their kimbap , I swear it's the best " , Mingyu piped up .

" And the seafood stew " , woozi added .

" Sure guys " , you said with a half smile .

Wonwoo noticed it right away . He had been noticing it for a couple of days , you looked miserable and he was determined to find out why and make you feel better .

He reached for your hand and intertwined his fingers with your and gave them a light squeeze as he snuck a quick glance at you to make sure you were alright . You squeezed back and then resumed looking out the window .

The party was going well , half of seventeen were drunk and that included Hoshi , Scoups , Minghao , Joshua , Dino , Seungkwan and DK . Minghao had even got up on his chair and started to dance . You were having fun , momentarily forgetting about the memories until your phone vibrated . You looked at it , there was a message from an unknown number .

You opened it and the tears resurfaced , it was your mother . She had gotten a hold of your number and contacted you from a new number as you had her previous number blocked .

It was a picture of Hyein with a gold medal and a certificate in her hands indicating that she had completed her PhD . And just below that was an article of you and Wonwoo , you two were on a date .

Then , there was that message that broke you . " Hyein would have been a better partner for a talented person like him . i don't know why he would date you , you do not have even the half the brains as Hyein "

It felt suffocating , you couldn't breathe , your hands shook as you stuffed the phone back in your bag and quickly stood up and rushed out of their . Holding on the side of the car you tried to take in deep breaths but it wasn't working . It was hard to focus and all you could do was sob .

" Sweetheart " , Wonwoo came up behind you . He was worried , the team were worried . They all loved you like you were family , you were their sister . " Baby what's wrong ? "

You just shook your head as you gasped , the tears pouring non stop .

" Shhhh Shh , it's okay , its okay . I am here ,I am right here " , he took you into his arms as you sank to the floor of the parking lot and cried your eyes out while holding onto Wonwoo like your life depended on it .

" Don't leave me , please don't leave me , I am sorry that I am not enough , I will try my best , I promise " , you kept on repeating .

" Sweetheart , why would I leave you ? And you are enough . You always have been . Where is this coming from ? " , he asked concerned as he gently wiped your tears .

So you told him your life story and also showed him the message .

" It is so exhausting to always be in a competition and to never be enough , to have your hard work ignored because there is someone who did way better than you " , you hicuped . " I hated it . Living with her was such a chore ! "

Wonwoo was beyond angry , you were hurting for so long all because your mother was a cruel and evil person .

" Listen to me " , he forced you to look straight at him . " Listen very carefully . You are none of those things that your mother you are . You are not worthless or ungrateful or a brat . You deserve all the love in this world , you deserve all the best things , you deserve to be treated with respect. You are enough , your hard work is enough . Do not bring yourself down or compare yourself to others . You are you and you are unique . I know its hard to not compare or judge yourself but trust me , you are the love of my life , you are my everything . I will never leave you because I love you . I love you because you are awesome , I love you because of who you are and one day I will make you my wife . So please , don't shed tears , that evil witch is not worth it .You have a huge loving family who will fight tooth and nail to keep you safe and happy . I promise . You are enough , you don't have to be somebody else and you don't have to prove anything to anyone ."

All that brought about another set of fresh tears . " Its okay , let it all out . I am right here my love . Right here . I'll always stay "

He rocked you gently in his arms till you had calmed down and till your tears were reduced to sniffles .

" Let's go home , you need rest " , he said as he unlocked his car .

" But , but - " , you tried to protest .

" No buts , we are going home " , he shushed you .

" I ruined the celebrations " , you protested .

" No you didn't . You didn't ruin anything . Okay ? Sit in the car and play your favourite music . I will let the guys knows that we are heading home early " , he kissed your forehead .

He then walked off before you could protest and came back 2 minutes later with both his and your belongings and settled inside the car . He kept his hands intertwined with yours as he drove home .

At home he helped you change into your pajamas and then after all the necessary hygiene actions he had you block your mother after he sent her a message saying that if she ever contacted you again the she would have to deal with the police for harassment charges .

He then took you in his arms and continued to whisper sweet nothings into your ear and kiss your forehead in intervals , reminding you that your were wanted and loved . He continued even after you fell asleep .

It was going to be okay . You had your family to protect you . You are , were and always will be enough .

[goodolddumbbanana]

I don't think a lot of people realize the reason why Sun acts nonchalant with Moon while just after the last episode, Sun just said out loud that he doesn't think his relationship with Old Moon is good.

Old moon, or Moon now, he is not an enemy or a stranger. He is his brother, the one who stayed with Sun longest, for better or worse, from the very beginning. They only have each other, and even if they fought a lot back then, they couldn't survive if one of them died. (Moon would go crazy due to KC, and Sun would get scrapped for him couldn't make enough money to keep the daycare float.)

Their relationship is horribly toxic, not because of how terrible Moon treated Sun, or how Sun completely relied on Moon, but also because Sun and Moon love and care for each other so deeply.

Surely, there were some moments when things got worse, but isn't any relationship end ups like that sometimes? That is what the victim of abused relationships, or from a family abuse always believes.

It is my fault. Maybe I have done something wrong. Maybe I shouldn't pushed him too hard. Maybe if I could control Eclipse better, Moon wouldn't be mad like that. I shouldn't break Moon's computer. It was not Moon's fault, it was his KC active. It was not Moon's fault, I am the one who did something stupid.

Because despite all of Moon's flaws, Moon was not entirely terrible with Sun. They still have a lot of good old dynamic siblings moments, and Moon always the one who fixes the mess Sun ends up (getting scammed from Monty) and sometimes, saves Sun from Moon's mess (Eclipse).

Moon was not only the one who hurt Sun, but he was also the one who saved and cared for him, the source of both his joy and his despair. And isn't it sad? When the one who loves you deeply is the one who hurts you most? The one who would sacrifice the world for you, is the one to make your life a living hell?

That's the reason why, a lot of victims from an abusive house, couldn't cut ties with their families, especially if the relationship is not built on thoroughly manipulation like Eclipse and Lunar.

We can see that, Sun at first, didn't even realise their relationship was bad. He has Earth, even the New Moon points that out for him, but he still stubbornly thinks all of this happened, (Lunar blew up, Eclipse took the star, Old Moon died) was his fault only.

It was not until when Sun distanced himself from Moon like for a whole year, and through a lot of therapies with Earth and New Moon, and with him hung out more with Foxy, Freddy, Lunar, Earth,... making him realise how awful his relationship with Old Moon.

And still, Sun can't help but love the Old Moon, but miss him. Because letting Moon go means cutting a part of Sun's heart. It means he is selfish, ungrateful, for abandoning the one who always was there for him, until they died. It means all of their love, all of their time they shared together was meaningless.

I think Sun realised how easily he can just to say fuck off with Moon and never let Moon walk into Sun's life again. Because Moon and Monty and the others, they will understand Sun's wishes (maybe, not so sure) . But then it would mean Sun would be alone. He already lost the Old Moon, then the New Moon, I don't think he has a heart to go through this again.

Across the multiverse, the tragic destiny of a Sun, if he is not dead, then he would be forever alone, distanced from the others.

Furthermore, even if you stand your ground and say I would never forgive my abuser, you can't just do it. It does not work like that. Either this abuser gets out of your life and you never see them again, or some of your behaviour is still exactly just like when you and your abuser still stay together.

It's kind of confusing explaining but for some people, their PTSD makes them do exactly what they don't want to. Like even scared and hated their abuser so much, but still the victims find themselves comfortable to hangout and cheerful around the abuser.

For example, you might have said you hated someone's guts so bad and how terrible they have been treating you with everybody around, but as soon as this individual shows up, all of your negative emotions are just gone, flushed away into the thin air.

Sun trauma dumps a lot. He is not aware of it, or it is not his conscious choice, due to how bad he has been treated by Moon and how he needed to suppress his feelings to keep Moon happy and stay sane, that... Make Sun's word seems contrary to his actions sometimes.

Unreliable narrative symptoms.

No wonder why he seems to forgive Moon so quickly. He didn't. He just doesn't let his emotions get better of himself and for more worse reasons, seeing Moon make him regression back from where everything is good and cool and maybe not bad.

He still hates Moon, bitter of how Moon treated him. But Sun after trauma and trauma, has been so tired now. I feel like if Sun is a human, he just sleeps a day and never wants to get out of his bed.

Caring seems like a torture chores with Sun right now, and he now just lives out of his spite and hope nothing would go even worse.

I think if Moon ever goes bad again, it would be the last straw for Sun. Right now, Sun just seems unresponsive just because he is waiting. Waiting for when another shoe drops, waiting for Moon to snap again.

And when it happens, I think Sun will finally get a chance to cut ties of Moon.

Because for some people, even with someone who has long toxic co-dependent relationships, you only stay in that mess because you are caring and find something worth staying .

[yukidragon]

Yesterday's post was so fun and helpful in getting me out of this slump that another angsty what if scenario popped into my head that I just had to share.

We know Joseph Cullman ran away from home. I mean, there were missing posters and all. We also know he took the last name Haberdae at some point. What if he didn't change his name and hide his identity right away and it came back to bite him?

I mean it's pretty clear that Jack has been looking for love desperately for a long time now, even back before his real name got redacted out of existence. I think we can all agree on that. No doubt he tried his hand at finding love that led him to take some missteps. He certainly seems to know a thing or two about bad relationships and what love shouldn't be.

On that note, I want you to imagine this scenario of Joseph looking for love and thinking he found "the one" sometime before he got the part of Sunny Day Jack. This charming drifter thought he had a good relationship with someone who understood him, who he could let in past the charming smile he learned to wield as a shield in order to be liked.

Joseph lets this beloved significant other in so quickly, so hungry for love. He tells his SO about him, about know about his awful home life that he ran away from, the fact that his parents never loved him and were constantly critical of him. This SO never could understand how any parent could treat their child that way. They offered sympathy, shocked by the things he told them, but kept asking him about his parents, his past, and if he ever considered reconciling.

It wasn't a fun topic, but Joseph is afraid of losing the love he fought so hard for. Every couple has their rough spots, right? It's not like this is a fight or something, at least as long as he stops himself from losing his temper and making it one. He's not that impulsive, bratty teenager anymore. Things are great otherwise, you know? So he brushes aside this red flag and how the topic keeps coming up, excusing the behavior in what he believes is an otherwise perfect relationship.

When you're starving, even scraps become a feast after all.

Then, on a special occasion, be it his birthday, Christmas, or whatever... the SO springs a surprise on Joseph that they had been teasing him about for days. They're so excited and convinced he'll love what they have planned for him. He thinks it's a meal at his favorite restaurant.

He never expects that the surprise was a reunion with his parents - to "mend their broken relationship."

Joseph might run away the second he spots his parents, maybe even before they realize he saw them. He ran away before after all. Maybe he gets caught off-guard enough that he freezes and they see him. He's forced into a conversation, a "reunion" that feels anything but happy. Talking to them only proves that they haven't changed. There's no reconciliation between them, only a reminder of why he cut contact with them in the first place.

No matter how Joseph handles it or what might happen, it leads to a fight with him and his SO after he leaves. This is a betrayal of the highest order, not a happy surprise like they presumed. They call him ungrateful, maybe even parroting things his parents used to say to him. They can't understand why Joseph doesn't want to have a relationship with his parents. They likely even heard his parents' side of the story when planning this little "reunion" and felt sympathetic to them.

It might even be that this incident forces Joseph to see that his SO has a lot more in common with one or more of his parents than he realized. All too often victims of abuse fall in love with someone who reminds them of their abuser, desperate for the love they never received in the past after all...

Naturally it leads to a break up, Joseph running away once more to escape both his parents and his ex who never really understood even after he poured his heart out to them. He thought his former SO loved him, cared about him, and understood his pain... but they just wanted him to fit this image they had for him. They were focused on themselves and how to force him to be what they wanted him to be... just like his parents.

They really fooled him by promising him the moon and all the stars, but all it amounted to in the end was emptiness and pain.

After that, Joseph changes his name and never speaks of his past again, even if he doesn't give up on his search for love. He hides firmly behind a false façade from then on, another stepping stone on his rocky path to becoming Jack.

Of course, I highly doubt something like this actually happened in his past, but can you imagine?

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore @okamiliqueur @kurokrisps

[seoksgrl]

right where you left me, 1. : jjk jungkook x reader 1950's au, biker au exes to lovers

tws: mention of illness, controlling behaviour

m.list next

June, 1959

Your mother is sick. 

When your brother sent you the telegram, you had expected it to be another plea to visit more, to bring Junghee to see your ageing family a little more often. To help out more with the family business. For years now, you had been the ungrateful daughter that had run away from town at twenty and never looked back. In your family’s eyes, that was a betrayal. 

Growing up, you were always the one who lessened the burden for your family. Your father had been sadly killed during World War Two, and the tensions on the homefront had taken your eldest brother from you a year after you left. In between the passing of your father and your departure from the seaside town where you grew up, you had spent the majority of your time taking care of those around you. You’d never asked for anything, never wanted for anything more than what your mother and older brothers were prepared to give you, even if that sometimes meant upsetting you. 

Your family weren’t poor, not by any means. You had a good home, good education and a slew of well-bred friends. You had been given the luxury to spend your time with a multitude of kind, if not slightly boring girls, and for a long time you had believed you were lucky. It wasn’t until you turned eighteen that your friendships seemed to pose an issue, and later led to the aforementioned escape. 

The hand holding the telegram trembles slightly, and you place the letter on the table. Any moment now, Junghee will come running down the stairs ready for breakfast, and here you are daydreaming of the past. You haven’t allowed yourself to do that in a long time, and you have come too far to fall victim to painful memories now. 

As if sensing your turmoil, your five year old daughter bounds down the steps and rushes through the archway into the small kitchenette. Her hair is mussed, dark and thick, falling over her small shoulders while she stares up at you bleary eyed. 

“Morning, mama,”

“Come on, sweetheart,” You usher your child onto the seat at the tiny kitchen table, “time for breakfast,”

It’s only when you say the words that you notice the lump in your throat, and you know that no matter your complicated relationship with your hometown and with your mother, you are upset to hear that she is so unwell. The familiar guilt you had always felt as the only daughter comes rushing back so fierce it takes your breath away, and you brace a hand on the kitchen chair to steady yourself. 

“Where’s papa?” Jung-hee asks, her tiny fist wrapped around the spoon she uses to dunk into her cereal, splattering milk on the tablecloth. She doesn’t look up at you, and you wonder if perhaps she has inherited your traits as a child, keeping to herself, maintaining a meek, quiet demeanour. You dearly hope she hasn’t. 

With a deep inhale, you swallow the emotions clogging your throat and grab the hairbrush off the counter, gathering her knotted locks and combing through them gently, “Papa is away this week, remember?”

Youngsik hadn’t wanted to leave, but running a business from home isn’t feasible, and so you understood when he pressed a quick kiss to your lips early this morning and jumped into a taxi. Despite the love you feel for your husband, whenever he kisses you, that familiar deep pang of longing always bursts free seeking its mate. You don’t know how many times in the last six years of your marriage that you’ve had to focus on something else, anything else, to get the feeling to go away. 

It seems that even here in Seoul, far away from your family or from the memories your hometown provokes, you can’t escape the lingering feelings of lost love. Perhaps you never will, and it’s that thought that keeps you awake at night. 

The train is smooth despite the rough terrain, and you attempt to focus on Junghee sitting in your lap and looking out for animals to distract yourself from the fact you are returning home for the first time in seven years. Even though there are a couple of hours left of the journey, you can practically feel the suffocating energy of the town ahead drawing you in, taunting you. 

It’s hard to predict what awaits you in Busan, but one thing for certain is that you will come face to face with your mother for the first time since you begged her to let you move to Seoul and finish your studies there. Teary eyes, a broken heart, sobs wracking your body with such ferocity that even now you find it hard to draw in a breath from the memory alone. 

Your mother was always a cold woman; quiet, reserved and hell bent on making sure her children slotted neatly into society. Everywhere had a social ladder, and even in a sleepy place such as Busan, there was always a hierarchy that your mother strived to maintain. One foot out of her carefully calculated plan inspired a world of icy anger that scared you more than your father’s fiery temper had as a child. 

It’s her dark, penetrating stare that you remember most about the rainy night you made your getaway. The moment your mother got a chance, she had bundled you onto the first train with a healthy envelope of money and a promise from you to only return once you had fixed the mess you had made of yourself. Within a year, you were a straight A student with a new husband from a wealthy family, and in her eyes, that was success. 

You hadn’t thought so, but Youngsik had been kind to you, and so it was easy to let yourself love him. Though no amount of love from a good man could ever repair the scars left by the one person you hope never to see again. 

And also the one person whose eyes you need on you the most, though you will only admit that to yourself in the dead of night, faced away from your husband in bed, staring out into the darkness of your bedroom. Right now, on a train packed full of people that are likely to remember your family name, you have to remain poised. 

Once the train pulls into the station, you step into the role of a dutiful daughter, wife and mother, tugging your child along with you through the small train station. It’s early evening now, and the fog from the sea has begun to settle, a warm, wet humidity clinging to the air around you, almost suffocating you in its grasp. After so long in the suburbs of Seoul, it’s hard to readjust to the salty sea air that coats the inside of your lungs with a nostalgia you hadn’t even realised you were missing. 

“Y/N,” A voice slashes through the silence and you turn your head to see your brother, Sangchul, waiting for you. He is much older now, a moustache shadowing his top lip. If you look closely, you can almost make out a feathering of grey hair at his temples and the worn smile lines that deepen as his eyes drift down, “And my little niece,”

“It’s been a long time,” You smile, though it fails to reach your eyes with the stark reminder of why you are here in the first place. Sangchul looks so much like your mother, it’s difficult to prevent the mist from coating your vision, and all at once you feel your brother’s arms wrap around you in a hug that would be out of character if the two of you weren't about to become motherless as well as fatherless.

Sangchul’s voice is gruff, and he squeezes you a little tighter when he speaks. You have a feeling it’s more for him than it is for you, however. “Too long,” he pulls back, eyes glassy, but piercing - so much like your mother, “It’s been four years since you last visited, Y/N,”

Sangchul scolding you is one of the many things you had expected when you stepped off the train, but it still stings, and once again you’re sent back to the past, feeling like the teenage sister who disobeyed his rules one too many times. 

“I’m sorry, Sangie,” You say, though it’s hard to force the affection into your voice. Sangchul was never your favourite brother, but since Sungho’s passing, he is all you have left, “You know how hard it is for me to come back here,”

His frown only deepens, “I hope you aren’t comparing seeing your family with seeing that vermin,” even now, years later, you still flinch when Sangchul calls him that, “I don’t want you mentioning Jeon J - “

“Please don’t say his name,” You let out a shuddering breath, panic tightening your chest. You haven’t heard his name in seven years, and you need to keep it that way for as long as feasibly possible. You are here for your mother, and nothing else.

Sangchul seems satisfied with your reaction, if a little uncomfortable, but he makes a gruff sound, bending at the knee to greet your daughter before helping the two of you with your bags. 

The view outside the car window is remarkably unchanged from your last visit, though your hesitancy to make any journeys out of your mother’s home meant you saw very little. With an intense fear of locking eyes with him, you’d travelled from the train station to your mother’s house, only leaving when you were due to get the train back two days later. The anxiety every visit back home brought you only meant you spent the last four years putting off visiting, until almost half a decade passed without you even realising. 

By the time you pull up to the house, Junghee is almost fast asleep, her head lolling against your arm and Sangchul offers to take the bags so you can carry her up to her room. Formerly your room - now, you stay in the guest room, fit for you and your husband, though his absence won’t be felt much. Your family has only ever met Youngsik once, and that was at your wedding. Since then, your mother has either been too tired to travel or your husband has been too busy. 

For some reason, their opinion of your husband has never bothered you, despite the trouble you have caused your family in the past regarding such matters. You never let yourself dwell on why that might be, too scared for what the conclusion might lead you to. 

When you walk into your old bedroom, you’re instantly hit by a wave of familiar scents. As always, a bouquet of white roses sits on the windowsill, and you have to look away the moment your eyes land on them. You’re thankful that you won’t be staying in this room, aware already as you nestle Junghee under the blankets how difficult seeing it all is. So many memories come flooding back to you, and it’s only when you’ve put your daughter to bed and raise a hand to your cheek that you even notice the tears falling. 

“It’s difficult,” Sangchul says, his sudden presence at the doorway startling you a little, “Mother is sleeping now. The doctor will be here in the morning, he comes by every day to check on her. I’ll wake you when he’s here,” he stands back, letting you leave the room, and suddenly you can breathe again, “Get some sleep, Y/N,”

He leaves you then, stood in the hallway with your arms wrapped around your waist, staring into your former bedroom and fighting off the debilitating need to sink into the past. You won’t let yourself, not now, not ever. Once you’re in the neutral space of the spare room, you sit onto the bed, swallowing a sleeping pill with a glass of water and sinking into the plush mattress. 

When sleep comes, it gives you no reprieve from the memories that plague the outskirts of your mind, and when you awake just a few hours later, you can feel the sweat soaking the nape of your neck. This week was never going to be easy, but you realise that your delay in visiting may have just made things all the more challenging. 

Falling back into sleep again, you don’t fight the memories this time, letting them come as they wish. It’s with a sigh of relief and a deep, longing ache in your chest that you fall into a deep slumber, drifting through images of dark eyes and even darker nights. Soft kisses, forbidden love and the one man you never let yourself think about.

please let me know if you wish to be added to the taglist!

[httpskuzuu]

Softer Pt.2

I like October, it's my birthday month, and I finally finished the second part of Softer :p

Anyway, I think you can tell that I like the word need, necesitar, in Spanish or English sounds good :D and this is my favorite part, I think, I really like how they both turned out

Yandere!Fyodor x Reader

English is not my mother tongue, sorry for the mistakes

sumary: You tried to escape and now you have to take the consequences, but you make something change in Fyodor... (but the part 2 >:p) Pt.1

tw: yandere behavior, kidnapping, explicit self-harms, blood, manipulation, brainwashing, stockholm syndrome, reader needs therapy, self-blame, suicidal thoughts, mention of death (no one dies), blood loss, manipulation, trauma, mention of god, Fyodor is a fucking tw

It was three phases from your confession and your punishment.

Everything was perfect and nice for the first two weeks, until your cuts became scars. He seemed to go out of his way to make you feel good and loved by him, and you were very grateful. Now, you feel ungrateful to be complaining about his change.

After six weeks, your ribs healed and he began to distance you. When you noticed that, you panicked, you cried whole nights and days in your room because of this fact, how was it possible that something like this had affected you so much? You don't even know yourself, you just know that you wanted to pull out every hair on your body to forget about the emotional pain you were carrying.

And now, well, you can't be so horrible and say that Fyodor is back to his usual self, it's more like a strange mix, that comforts you. That this Fyodor is a mix of the previous ones makes you think he's trying to be gentle, but he's having a difficult time. You like to opine that that's the right reason for not sinking you further.

You wish you could say you hate normal Fyodor, but you can't hate any part of Fyodor and that worries you. What's been happening to you? Why are you behaving this way? Always looking for the terrorist's cold touch like an abandoned dog. Always waiting for him like a dog, loving him like one, messy, intense and ready to die for your owner.

Your mind was broken, atrophied and without any hope of repair. That scares you. You don't want this! You want your mind back! You miss being able to think about something else that isn't related to Fyodor. It's like being an intruder in your own mind, you no longer belong in that place full of happy memories, now blurred.

Sometimes you love your useless mind, you love believing in him the way you do, and you love how that seems to satisfy him. Maybe that's all your mind is looking for: to satisfy him.

Speaking of satisfying: he no longer seems to enjoy punishing you, which completely disorients you. All your life you were assuming that the only way to satisfy Fyodor was to let him mistreat you, but now? Now he was only touching you to give you light caresses. You don't want to be an idiot, you love that now your body doesn't suffer, but that doesn't take away from the fact that a small part of your skin is missing the pain. It's as if you were created to be hurt.

You convince yourself that you are ungrateful. Fyodor has changed for you, and you play the victim, saying that everything is so weird, poor you. You can't think about anything else besides yourself because you are a bad person, because you don't deserve the change Fyodor made for you.

It's not like before, everything is so much more comfortable in his presence, even if afterward he disappears for hours and makes your mind a prison of horrible thoughts, thoughts of firmly believing that it's your fault he's gone.

Physical contact has also changed, it is somewhat more common than with normal Fyodor, but it is nothing compared to gentle Fyodor. It really hurts you inside every time he is in front of you, and he isn't touching you or talking to you. Something is broken, and you don't quite know why. How needy of attention have you become in this time?

What did Fyodor do with your mind? You don't know. The horror of what he did to you is still in you, lurking like a shadow. It won't go away.

Sometimes there's a little voice deep in the back of your head, the only sane part left in you. It shows up on dark nights, when you're alone, makes you realize all the shit Fyodor put you through and how much he fucked up your mental health. You like having that little voice, it feels like getting over Fyodor somehow, it's a shame it disappears the next morning along with the first bite of breakfast.

Even though you listen to it, you never mind it, and that can be noticed by the need to not be able to bear it anymore, you need Fyodor so badly. You miss him every time he's gone. You miss the person who hurt you.

Maybe you really are going crazy.

You think about the fact that Fyodor took care of you after the punishment, when you were moribund and almost unable to move from the pain, and that his kind behavior ended after all your damages were healed.

You were about to do something crazy, you were aware of it, but you would give anything to feel that angelic temperature change again.

You have a sharp knife in your hand, you squeeze it so hard that your fist turns white. Fyodor never hides sharp objects, only pills, he knows you wouldn't be able to kill yourself with them out of fear.

Something tells you to kill yourself, to teach Fyodor a lesson.

Again your ungrateful thoughts come back, he already told you, you are just a brat. A fucking brat, and what you were doing now proves it.

But can you really blame yourself for this? You just need his attention, you need that love in his hands, you need him to care so much about you that he locks every drawer in the house.

That's why you're here now, in the bathroom, with your elbows resting on the sink and the knife almost brushing against your clean arm. About to kill a part of you to keep his gentleness alive.

You think about whether it's possible that he might be angry with you for this, for staining your skin with wounds without his permission. You think if he gets angry and punishes you it will also be worth it because there is a chance he will take care of you after that like the first time.

Maybe all you need to do is talk it over with him, maybe you need his naked body against yours to keep control, or maybe a simple kiss would be better. Maybe you should relax, maybe you should ask him for a hug, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe….

A cut and the blood starts to spread. You feel an immense urge to vomit, and you regret everything that led you to this moment.

You drop the knife limply and cover the wound with your now free hand. You watch the scene you've made for yourself with wide, shocked eyes. Why did you do all this? Just for Fyodor's attention? How pathetic of you.

You're like a child, crying and screaming, having a tantrum to get what you want.

You don't even heed your thoughts, and your gaze returns to the knife lying in the sink. The fright has dissipated and only silence remains. You need to cut more, how will you make Fyodor care about you with just one cut? You need more, you need to tear your arm if you have to, take your skin off, anything.

It's just a cut.

You move your hand away from the wound, blood is still coming out, but you don't care. You grab the knife, careful not to let it slip through the red fluid, and keep cutting.

It's just a cut, a few cuts, many cuts.

You stop when you get dizzy and lose your balance, drop the knife on the floor and miraculously you don't fall with it. You lean against the wall behind you and watch as the floor fills with your dripping blood. It's too much, too much, oh God, now you're going to die, aren't you? Is that what's going to happen?

You deserve to die, or at least you convince yourself of it, you're just a useless entity in Fyodor's house, what other function do you do here besides pursuing him? It would be like a punishment for being so selfish, for loving Fyodor so much.

Sometimes it surprises you how much you hate yourself just because you are you. Would you hate Fyodor the same way if he were like you? You don't even need to think about it, you already know the answer.

You hear footsteps outside the bathroom. Of course, you made some noise when you dropped the knife and almost fell yourself in the process. Fyodor had to notice, wait, that meant that Fyodor was paying attention to you and the noises you were making. He could just stay absorbed in his work, but no, he's here now.

Three soft knocks on the door are enough to make you tremble.

"Everything okay?"

You cry the instant you hear his voice, yes, there's the soft Fyodor. You recognize hints of tenderness and concern in his voice., you can recognize it.

You shouldn't have cut yourself off, now you change your mind and you don't want Fyodor to see you this way, weak and unbearable. If he realizes that you can't live without him by your side, you're sure he'll leave you, that you'll be too annoying for him and he'll go back to being his old self, this time forever, or until he gets rid of you, until he finds someone better than you. That would be easy.

If there is a God up there, you beg him to let you die. There is no answer. You're left to face your actions alone.

"I've done a stupid thing…"

You still have time to think better of it, you can still barricade yourself in the bathroom and die there. But these are your actions, your consequences.

You shakily open the door.

The look on Fyodor's face is one you've never seen, that keeps you from lowering your head with shame. You've never seen so many emotions in him, all at once, like a whirlpool.

Have you been able to generate that? You don't know whether to consider it a good or bad thing, but a flow of pride runs through your veins.

Fyodor whispers your name, breathless, his accent thickening even more. A part of you actually believed that what you did to yourself would not affect him in any way, how foolish, of course it would affect him. He is human, you are human, but still something tells you that Fyodor is anything but human. His eyes now show you otherwise.

"I'm sorry… I'm so sorry! I'm such an idiot! I didn't mean to bother you."

Fyodor takes only a few seconds to drag you back into the bathroom. He turns on the sink faucet and guides your arm down the stream of water. It hurts like hell, but complaining doesn't even cross your mind, after all, Fyodor probably stopped doing something important just to cure your mess, you can't give him any more trouble.

Your mind would like to escape your body, but you don't let it because without it you wouldn't be able to feel Fyodor behind you, pressing his chest against your scarred back.

As he runs a soaked towel against your cuts, you decide to lean against him, he doesn't push you away, and you take it as a small victory.

Your brain won't let you enjoy of the moment, giving you reminders of everything the Russian had done to you: the scars on your back, all over your body, the agonizing nightmares, the silent and devastating nights. All a fucking reminder, and yet here you are, against his body.

Your thoughts linger in that confined space until your arm is tight between messy bandages. His hand reaches for yours and your fingers intertwine.

You fear his potential annoyance, his potential punishment. He provokes unique feelings in you, and you love him, but he is terrible, he is just terrible.

Fyodor lets out a sigh, and you know instantly that you are selfish. He is tired, he has better things to do besides taking care of a brat, but still he is still with you. Fyodor is such a merciful being when it came to you, he wouldn't be this way with anyone else, only you. You feel your chest tighten with warmth.

"Fyodor…" You don't want to speak too loudly or break the silence in the room. You try to keep your thoughts in the same rhythm as your voice, quiet and low. You need to be okay, for Fyodor's sake.

"Why?" He squeezes your hand. There is no emotion in his voice, and you feel guilty of your disappointment at that. "Why did you do it?"

"I-" The words decided not to come out of your mouth and closed your throat in a knot, a very painful knot.

What were you supposed to say? Wouldn't admitting your need for attention make you sound like a spoiled child? A brat?

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bother you." You say hastily, trying to find words to make Fyodor happy, so he won't hate you for your reckless actions.

"You don't bother me." Bullshit, Fyodor is an almost pathological liar, you should know that, it should be burned into your memory. You'd like to believe him. "Is this why you did all this? Because you think you're bothering me?"

You wish the answer was as easy as that. You shake your head.

"Then why?"

"I needed you." It's not a good explanation, there are a lot of loose questions left, but how else can you tell him? Every time you speak, it's like scratching your throat.

"Needed me? You mean my attention?" You nod, feeling a humiliation run down your throat. "I was with you all these days, what more attention do you want from me?"

It's like a stabbing, like the cuts he gave you on your back. It showed, from afar, you were just a pet that can't be away from its owner or it would break into pieces. You shouldn't be crying either, you have no good reason to.

"Hey, no, stop." He turns your body without effort. All you do is keep your head down, full of shame, though it doesn't last long, as his free hand lifts it up and lands against your cheek. You don't deserve it, you can't even stop crying. "What did I say? Why are you crying this time?"

"I'm a spoiled brat." You lean against his cold hand, you needed his touch so badly.

"You're not, you just wanted me to give you attention, that's not a bad thing."

"It is! I'm being selfish." The sobs interrupt you, and you close your eyes, you don't want to look at Fyodor. How can you ask for love and attention from Fyodor when you yourself don't know how to love properly?

"Selfish? Why?" Your reason that the only reason for his question is to make you humiliate yourself, to make you admit that you are a nuisance.

"B-Because you were probably busy, I'm just bothering you trying to get your attention…"

"I want you to pay close attention to me right now, can you do that?" Even if you couldn't do it, you would anyway. You're not lying when you nod in response. He's all you can think about and fixate on, everything else is ephemeral and useless, nothing else is needed for you.

"Good... You don't bother me, I understand you want more attention from me, I made your mind that way anyway. Stop feeling bad about doing things you're programmed to do." Hearing him admit that, is like a war in your head, you should care that Fyodor played with your mind like a stuffed animal, but what you should is not the same as what you do. It feels like a relief to know that it is Fyodor is causing it all, and it's nicer than you ever imagined.

Your mind will never go back to normal after this. You will never be the same after this. That's okay, you can live with it as long as you have Fyodor by your side.

You collapse against him, hugging him with no intention of letting go. He accepts you in his arms. Now everything is warm again like it was that time, you needed it so badly after everything that had happened.

"It's just that you've been acting more distant and I thought-" Do you really want to keep talking and sobbing nonsense? You have no intended trajectory with your words.

You just hope Fyodor understands you, it's the only thing that will give you calm.

"I'm sorry…"

"It's okay, no need to cry anymore, моя крошка." His hands on your back undeniably comfort you. His touch feels like fire, but it doesn't burn, it just leaves a trail of warmth and desire everywhere it passes.

You are a sensitive, desperate mess, and no one knows how to love you but Fyodor. He is the God you have always pleaded to, now you understand why he never granted your wish to die.

"This is strange for me. I've never cared for anyone before, and I really don't want to hurt you unintentionally." And there's your long-awaited why. It's warmer than you could have ever thought, your heart is silently grateful. He's trying, that's good enough for you.

Maybe you can't go back to that first day of care after punishment, maybe you can't go back to that new and gentle Fyodor, but those are things that happen and that's okay.

You nod, oblivious to your own reality, everything feels correct. "I get it, it's okay, yeah. You don't have to worry, I'm fine now."

But you keep crying.

You don't know or need to know how long you stood there, holding each other as if both of your lives depended on it. In total silence until Fyodor's voice broke it. No doubt that's your favorite tune.

"моя любовь, I never responded properly to your confession, did I?" He never did, but he never denied it. There was always a glimmer of hope that you took as the word yes, as total acceptance of your feelings.

You look at him with enlightened eyes, you wished that what your mind was imagining was real.

"I love you too."

Fyodor's love is paralyzing. You notice it now.

my favorite part is the dog part, idk, I like how it turned out

[winepresswrath]

2000s batman was my first ever experience with "are the men ok" because the vibe would just sometimes pivot from noir adjacent detective adventures ft. broody but good hearted dark knight to

your dad is withholding.

it's presumptuous and needy for you to suggest that he's your dad.

he's legitimately not your dad.

it's a dadsuationship.

he's always disappointed in you but that's just because he has such high standards.

he's controlling but in a way that suggests it's less that he cares about you on an individual level and more that he's a perfectionist and you are a potential fuckup.

he does care about you on an individual level don't be silly. god you're so emotional and dumb

he's an impossible ideal that you're never going to live up to.

any negative feelings you might have about this are mostly on you for the twin sins of not being good enough and caring what he thinks.

but if you didn't care what he thinks wouldn't that be petty and ungrateful and indicative of poor judgement that will bring Disaster.

and then i'd conclude that only someone with daddy issues beyond my comprehension could have written this. like both the behaviour and the pervasive implicit victim blaming. that was unfair of me! in retrospect some of it was clearly just writers struggling with what i will generously call the complex cultural legacy of batman and robin. some of it was rank misogyny in terms of like, an inability to consider teenaged girls fully human and thus an inability to write batman as considering teenaged girls as fully human. some of it is that comics thrive on melodrama and it's easy to fall back on repetitively rehashing the same emotional beat. and i was a kid; it's possible that my take would be different today. however with these caveats i maintain that this was nevertheless not even worth asking who hurt you behaviour (it was dads).

[devatine]

thought about their roommate's

i thought a lot about this you know that yuurei video that they had a roommate yeah i can imagine silver's victim roommate had deal with his 3 or more aaahhh alarm clocks it can be really overwhelm for his roommate i mean just imagines you were peacefully asleep nice and snuggle then you hear the most outrageous sound that scared the shit out of you fall off your bed (unless you're a deep sleeper then your fine)

sebek's victim 2 roommate again he loud as fuck he will be howling and worship over a painting on the wall just out of nowhere. he lectures his roommates if they don't a great job or stuff like that 24/7 even a tiny bit still sebek will yapping how ungrateful his roommates is and slacking off. the roommates will be tired of him tell them off they will be crying in the corner.

(i know he doesn't have a roommate but anyway) i never forget that rook's sus room damn i wonder maybe one day someone come to his room and see the wall peeling off relived it has picture some random students on the wall they getting confused and scared started to think that he plotting to kill someone.

another rook's room when he was a second year.......

LOOK AT THIS SHIT DOESN'T LOOK SCARY OR WEIRD TO YOU???

i know its normal for fans to have a merch they like but for me fuck sake i know its rooks crazy obsession sometimes he scared me and i agree with silver, sebek, epel and grim reaction his room i can totally felt that. idk he has a roommate in his dreams but if he has a roommate......they seen the most colorful merch it brightens their eyes it will be hard not to break or torn his merch then if do did rook is comin threw their walls haunt them

[radfemsiren]

Everytime a women doesn't act innocent in a abusive and narcissistic relationship, she is seen as bad as the manipulative guy. Like she's acting that way because he is messing with her mind and making her believe everyone around her is bad except him.

They always want women to be perfect even when they are being abused.

It’s so crazy too because the actual abuser will receive more sympathy and everyone will consider his past and what made him act this way. But her? No one cares.

It’s also crazy because a common thing men repeat in misogynistic spaces is that “What if you go through all the trouble of saving a woman getting beat by her boyfriend, and she defends him? Or goes back to him? Ungrateful bitch!”

Like they don’t care that she’s brainwashed and years of abuse has deteriorated her ability to make rational decisions … they just want a quick simple reward like they finished a game of Mario brothers and defeated bowser, so they should get the princess now.

The way grooming and abuse rots the mind is something people severely underestimate. I’ve been reading about young female killers, and the sheer amount of these child and teen girls that kill, sometimes even their own families, because an older man is grooming them is insane. I wonder if there are brain scans of victims to show how severe constant fear and terror alters the mind.

[jymwahuwu]

So I came up with this conclusion after analyzing jingrenheng trio in your writing, which include unconventional darlings that might suit them.

Dan Feng: I honestly can see a scholar!darling suiting him. Historical-wise the women around Chinese emperors were more than pretty faces, they're smart because the selection requires virtue and knowledge of philosophies as well. So a scholar darling will be good for his image, and you're also less likely to be bullied by high-ranking vidyadharas because you're educated. It's also more likely that Dan Feng will listen to your input because of your education, but he's the one making the final decision duh.

Blade: I've seen Blade with darling who are on the victim side, like him kidnapping Dan Heng's darling and so on. But considering how he's a Stellaron Hunter I can see him with a darling who's powerful BUT is seen as a weapon by people. As in powerful enough to destroy but doesn't exactly rebel a lot; being used to be directed by powerful people. Maybe you're a powerful thing fully controlled by a planet's government that the Stellaron Hunters happened to have a mission on and Kafka offered for you to join the hunters because your powers are too good to waste.

Jingyuan: I've also seen Jingyuan with a darling who's more vulnerable than him, so how about a darling who's a financially powerful ally to him? Imagine that during a long expedition to defeat barbaric enemies that are a threat to the Luofu, one of the stops was this planet under the Luofu enemies' occupation; your planet. You, knowing how barbaric those enemies were and how the weaker cloud knights would definitely be brutally harmed took in a lot of members of the cloud knights inside your estate. That also included an injured Jingyuan. So this kind of darling has the upper hand because Jingyuan owed her the lives of the cloud knights, he can't just do as he likes.

never thought that someone would use the word "analysis" for my hsr stuff, thank you very much!! these are indeed the types of readers I have not considered👀

Dan Feng: If you were a scholar before you met him, Dan Feng would have heard about your reputation from people. Dancing on the path of "Erudition", you pursue knowledge and strategy. Maybe you’ve published some research?

Dan Feng is just traditional, which definitely does not mean that he cannot accept his spouse being smart and accomplished. He appreciates your wisdom and discusses history, culture, and Aeons with you. It's like discovering a treasure, he always finds surprises. In this case, Dan Feng respects your opinion and imagines how smart the dragon cub will be.

Blade: The companion type Darling is an equal to Blade. He is the type of person who respects his companions. Even in a state of mental breakdown, Blade could observe Kafka's sadness. From his first comment on Kafka, we can tell that Blade has a soft and gentle heart.

"Listen, Bladie, loosen up." "Listen, don't think about anything at all." He nodded. The woman walked to his side, smiling. Yet he thought her smile looked very sad. "Maybe someone left her before they could listen to everything she had to say," he thought.

But if you have been abused as a "weapon" before, Blade will treat you more gently and carefully. If those who have abused you are not on the script, Blade will support some… more extreme plans to destroy those people.

Jing Yuan: 😹Oh, you can see what a painful experience this is for Jing Yuan. He is grateful to you for saving those Cloud Knights and for being an ally. You are too sweet for him. General sometimes wanted to pull you into his lap, but those favors stopped him. He can't do this to you…at least not yet. That would be very ungrateful of him. He's pursuing you in a decent way - you might think it's still too pushy though.

[neutrallyobsessed]

you've said before you're okay with/like incest, but are you into noncon as well? if so, what scenarios are your favorites?

Yes, i also enjoy non-con stories, specially with a comedic funny tone and since this is a sensitive topic, the elaboration and mucho texto will be under the cut

I got a bit stuck on this one cause I was thinking exclusively on fanfics, and I dont usually read that for the simple fact that it doesnt come up in fandoms/ships that im interested but then I remembered of ero manga and lmao yeah thats where all the noncon I like to read is. Anyways, my absolute fav scenarios are trapped in a wall and chikan ♡

What I like about these scenarios is that the victim just casually gets themselves on the situations. Like I was just using the short cut I've always used or I'm literally just taking the train to school. It's all so easy and simple and to the point, not to mention all that comedic potential. And there's no brute force involved, just an embarrasment predicament and someone coming by to take the opportunity~~

The Trapped in a wall trope is very versatile, it doesn't even have to be in a wall and it doesn't have to be in a vertical way. When I tell you that posibilities are endless I truly mean it and they all are sososo good! And yes, here is where most of the comedy is stored, I don't think I need to explain much on the way, you can find yourself that if the story isn't a hurt/no comfort prostitution one, then it's most likely a more lighthearted funny kinda story ;P

On the other hand, if the Chikan is not literally Being molested from behind standing up in a crowded train then it doesn't do it for me lmao. I've read the sitting next to the pervert, on a bus, straight up gangrape on a train tropes and I'm like ._. jsksjksjsk I'm not exactly sure why I'm so precise with this one but yeah I can read this exact same plot a thousand times and it never loses its charm, I really really love this one ♡

I enjoy dubcon too. Blackmail, hypnosis, just having good enough oration, get someone to sleep with your words, with the power of your mind and strategy, by being Very Convincing. The victim second guessing themselves but it feels too good to say no now, so might as well. Very big fan of the Might As Well, very big fan of noncon turned con because dick/pussy game so superb x3

In non-penetrative non-consensual shenanigans, non-cuck vouyerism with the peeping tom masturbating to the scene is the absolute best, ate left no crumbs more of this please. I haven't seen like, shipper gets to see confirmation first hand (pun intended) when that could go so hard frfr but maybe I can look for it… RigsPelt with Jane (or maybe Cho that'd be so fuuny) sounds plausible. Also I did write a NaruMayo with Edgeworth but I'm kinda ehh on posting it, but I still could, who knows.

With this information I went to read fics about these tropes and like I don't know if the filtering failed me or something but I don't think this is cutting it :/. It is rape so of course people will write paragraphs of ohh i don't want this, my body is reacting in ways I don't want to :((( shuuut tf up and enjoy the free sex, goodness are some bitches ungrateful sometimes… Doujins may have dialogue like this too but it's easier to ignore and just look at the pretty pictures of the victim's orgasms and all that ^^. Best I could find is like, asmr scripts? since they're mostly from the abuser's pov so you get all the feeling good (and maybe guilty) parts without the this feels bad and it hurts parts, so that's pretty epic

That being said, there's this narumayo fic that is SO GOOD cause it's about Maya channelling Dahlia so Phoenix can take revenge on her and MY GOD THAT IS LIKE THE GREATEST MOST ROMANTIC THING EVER!!!!!! Maya is willing to give her own body and even get hurt so Phoenix can get his closure and if that's not love then idk what is. And what I love most bout this fic is that it is literally so them, this could totally happen in canon, I love canon complaincy so fukking much!!!!

((cough 4/5 Topher/Reader fics are noncon and they all so good holy fuck, specially the first two but specially the first one, a 9.5/10 basically and when it hits it hits. whoever wrote that knew what was up and I'm saddened that there won't be a Proper Climax if you know what I'm saying but oh well cough))

In conclusion: I like it when everyone is enjoying themselves, especially the victim; if consent can be revoked at anytime, then it can also be given at anytime; no force, only strategy; being Stuck in a Predicament is Epic; Funny! Creative! Canon-Complaint! Yes, Yes, Yes >w<!!!; absolutely NO hurt or pain or trauma, only happy endings~♡

[last minute addition: superpowers can be pretty cool too, but again, no (super)force only strategy. Invisibility and Time Stopping are neat for a general one-shot and for fandoms that include superpowers, it's just a matter of using them in a cool, canon-complaint manner and I'm hooked! Examples I've encountered: Mineta using his quirk to trap victims, classic I like it. Ino passing her mind onto Sasuke's and make his body assault her unconscious one, THAT'S FUCKING GENIUS I LOVE IT!!!]

[bimbo-superstar]

Darkness is my lover

Yandere Vincent Sinclair x plus size reader 

WARNING DARK THEMES INCLUDE: Dub-con, captivity, forced breeding, dark topics overall, Vinny is sweet in some of the points but controlling and possessive in others.

Please proceed with caution, not intended for younger audiences. 

▬ι═ﺤ ▬ι═ﺤ ▬ι═ﺤ ▬ι═ﺤ ▬ι═ﺤ ▬ι═ﺤ ▬ι═ﺤ ▬ι═ﺤ ▬ι═ﺤ ▬ι═ﺤ ▬ι═ﺤ ▬ι═ﺤ ▬ι═ﺤ 

♡Vincent became infatuated with you the minute Bo dragged you down to the basement unconscious, you just look so beautiful the full cheeks, your plump lips, those thighs you had, he just had to keep you, but he knew Bo would not allow that to happen, so he hid you.

♡The first month you had attempted to escape multiple times, you almost succeeded the last time which is why you ended up strapped to Vincent's chair, he couldn't believe why you were being ungrateful maybe if he started to treat you like how Bo treats his victims, you'll learn your lesson so that's what he did.

♡You are chained to Vincent's worktable, he put a mattress and some pillows and blankets down, so you won't bump and cut up your delicate body cause vin doesn't want to see his darling hurt unless He’s the one doing the hurting you are his muse after all

♡To Vincent you're like his little doll that he can dress up, feed, wash and use, he needs affection too and with you resisting and resenting him sometimes he can get rough and force you to cuddle up to him or if he’s sexually frustrated, he will take it out on you whether you want it or not 

♡ He loves when you cry and just lay there staring into space, it gives him the perfect opportunity to sketch you how the tears roll down your cheek and hit the dirty basement floor it's like art to him.

♡ His nicknames for you are: My darling, My muse, My babydoll these are usually with passive aggressiveness to the tone and a hint of possessiveness to them also cause Vincent is very insecure and he believe you are his property and he can do whatever he wants to do to you and if someone tries to help you or stop him he has no problem with adding them to his endless collection of wax figures, this includes you if you want to misbehave and continue to act like a selfish bitch he would make you into a figure a special one of course with accessible holes for him to use 

♡Once you succumb to Stockholm syndrome Vinny will allow for you to roam the house and sleep in the room with him, he even allows for you to cook for him, Bo, and Lester you're also allowed to walk Jonesy with Lester 

♡Vincent allows for you to take up some hobbies so you don't think about leaving him again, he buys paint sets, yarn so you can make bracelets to distract you, over the months of you being there you start to crave his affection and attention which is what he wants in a darling he does not want you to disobey or try to leave him, watching him make figures makes you want to try it out so he allows you to sit in his lap while his big hands engulf yours and guides them

♡Vincent loves the thought of forcing himself inside of you if you don't comply with having children with him, he does not mind pushing you down and pounding into you and Cumming bucket loads inside of you, the thought of you being pregnant with his babies makes him go crazy it creates more possessiveness from you 

♡He would fuck you in areas he knows where Bo will pop up at, to Vincent Bo is the more attractive twin but knowing that he can fuck you and Bo cant makes his head spin and the blood rush to his cock, the way you scream and moan with him inside of you and the way you drool with your eyes rolled back while Bo watches from the shadows is what makes Vincent fuck into you harder and faster. He wants his brother to know that he owns you and he can never have you.

DAYUM I HOPE I DID GOOD FOR YOU MY LOVES 

should i make this into a little fic or something LET ME KNOWW 

I LOVE YALLL 

[litsen-lithenna]

Some thoughts about UA healing journey post-game

TW: Speaking of abuse, trauma, ptsd, and the struggles of healing (take care 🧡) [Long rambling… I’m sorry, and it’s all about my headcanons and how I imagine Astarion and Tav/Durge’s relationship post-game. Of course, I’m perfectly fine with people disagreeing and discussing it, as long you’re not rude✨] I’ve had many thoughts about post-game spawn Astarion, precisely because I find his ending really inspirational, and as a survivor myself, I believe there’s a bittersweet edge to it. {a brief foreword} Healing takes a lot of time, it’s painful and difficult, and you can’t completely get rid of the past. You learn to accept your trauma as part of your life, but the idea is to not let it define you. You're a victim, but you’re not just a victim, it doesn’t define you although it’s a part of you. And you may eventually find a way to live with it, but it never truly goes away. In the epilogue, we (I, at least) understand Astarion will try and walk that healing path, with your Tav/(resist)Durge. And even if he stumbles and falls on the way, he's not alone anymore, there will be people around to help him get back on his feet. It's beautiful, even if it's sometimes difficult.

And there's one line from the epilogue that makes me quite sad, and increases that bittersweet feeling I have: when the narrator says that Astarion told you that those last those “6 months of happy memories are the counterweight to two hundred years of misery”; it does sound sweet, but I think it's a lie (sorry😫 ).

The narrator doesn’t use direct speech with a sentence like "It feels like those 6 months of happy memories are the counterweight to two hundred years of misery“ or "it is obvious that those last 6 months of happy memories…" - Instead, she uses indirect speech, she reports Astarion’s words: "Astarion told you that…", and well… Astarion is an unreliable narrator, he does have a tendency to lie and hide behind a smile, right? (Even if he opens up a little more after Cazador's death).

That’s why I tend to believe that he would prefer to avoid talking about his hardest struggles to the person he loves, and here are some hypothesis of why he'd do that:

He wants to reassure Tav/(resist)Durge so they don’t worry too much.

He doesn’t want to admit he still struggles with his past, not just out of pride, but also because he might lowkey think he “failed” at being completely happy, he might that he "failed" at being done with his past… (Which is, of course, untrue – healing is not a competition, it’s hard, it takes years, and it’s never a straight path,;sometimes you feel better, sometimes you have relapses, sometimes you don’t know what to do or how you feel.) I wouldn’t be surprised if, after years of abuse, he’d believe himself incapable of being good enough to heal… (that hurts a lot)

He doesn’t want to disappoint Tav/Durge – like, "Tav/Durge did so much for me andI can’t even stop struggling with my past, how ungrateful I am!" (ouch) 4- That’s his way to thank Tav/Durge, like “I am so grateful, so I’ll pretend to be completely healed because I know that’s what they want for me: to be happy." (Can you see where this is going?)

Wait a minute!

I’m not saying that post-game spawn Astation would be unhappy! On the contrary, I do believe that he’d be really happy, rediscovering what happiness means, what affection means, the pure joy of knowing how it feels to be himself, to be free (and in love, and loved!).

But I also think there would be relapses, moments of doubts, ptsd, dissociation, nightmares, intrusive thoughts and awful memories, and nights during which he would withdraw into himself completely, if only because he doesn’t know how to deal with all this.

All of this to say that I HC that the relationship wouldn’t be all sweet and soft for them- not all the time at least - even if Tav is the most healthy, considerate, sweetest person to be with - I usually play resist Durge so the traumas are piling up and they have to deal with their respective pasts, which makes it even more complicated.

I’m not saying the relationship would be toxic, but that they would both have a lot to do to make it work. And considering how Astarion tends to hide how he truly feels, Tav/Durge would definitely have to help him open up, to create safe spaces for him so he could feel like he can talk safely when things are getting difficult, instead of just brushing them off with a fake smile. Another point that I’ve been thinking of (A LOT), and which you can connect to point 3 and 4 above: he doesn’t want to disappoint. He spent two hundred years obeying, and each time he would disappoint Cazador, he was punished. So, I think he wouldn’t so easily get rid of what he was trained to do. Therefore, even if Astarion doesn’t see Tav/Durge as a potential 'master', I think he’d still have some tendencies to rely on them, to follow their lead. Because, even if he says multiple times that he wouldn’t let anyone control him ever again, and even if Tav/Durge refuses to tell him what to do, even if they refuse to control him, Astarion would unconsciously tend to let them take the lead. (which would obviolusly be even more difficult for Durge)

And I think Astarion would do his best to never disappoint, terrified to be abandoned, or worse, that the one he loves might see him just as he sometimes still thinks he is: not enough, just a pretty face.

It would require a lot of work and talking and patience from Tav/Durge to help him go through that, giving him agency about small things, mundane decisions, and little by little, make him understand that he doesn’t have to rely on anyone and that he can make the right choice for himself, and by himself. And they’d have to reassure him too, but I don’t think he would enjoy if this support was too obvious; I think he’d hate being paternalized by a partner who’d keep on openly encouraging him as if he was a child. But subtle tokens of support, quiet encouragements (a hand on his arm, a smile, their hand squeezing his hand, etc.) could probably help him feel better about himself without making him feel inadequate. In any case, I don’t think 6 months, even 6 months of the sweetest honeymoon, would make up for what Astarion went through. I can’t believe it, and I think the writers knew that too. And that use of the indirect speech by the narrator is enough for me to confirm it (alright, maybe my academic studies in literature are biasing me a little but aaah…! I can't help thinking about the "Astarion told you that…").

Sorry this was wayyyyy too long and heartbreaking and quite incoherent and there’s no real conclusion, but I needed all this out of my chest! Thank you for your attention 🩵 (and I apologise for the typos, it's late and I'm tired af)

[thealogie]

Re: last post. Same, as a Russian. The West is a Knight in Shining Armor Who Only Wants to Bring Democracy to the Peoples of the World syndrome is really widespread among ru opposition and among just normal everyday people of creative professions. Not the majority of the latter probably, but a lot. And so often it morphs into a downright Nazi thinking, where everyone to the east of Poland and to the south of Greece etc are honestly seen as subhuman. Some even say so outright. Like, they will talk art and philosophy (and they might not even be banal or pretentious, total deep thinkers) one minute and the next they'd say how the US should already bomb Moscow because all nukes have long been broken or sold anyway and organize a colonial rule on "this territory", because Russians are genetical slaves, or why wouldn't "other Arabs" take all those Palestinians so the Jews can stop suffering at last. And so on. Sometimes Putin does sound less crazy in comparison. The trick is to just breath, remind yourself to remain human and put yourself in either victims' shoes whether you hear about ungrateful Ukies (khokhols) who need to be taught a lesson or how the world consists of "decent" (same meaning as in Britain) and "indecent" nations and Putin's main crime is not aligning us with the former. And if you make a mistake starting an argument with the first ones, you sound like a total shitlib, while arguing with the second ones you sound like vatnik.

I understand the exact mentality you’re talking about in the Russian opposition (both from having friends who explained it and from the fact that it parallels Iran exactly). Scary stuff man.

[kylejsugarman]

and like reading back on the comments and analyses people made about jesse while breaking bad was airing/ending is so surreal because so many people just explicitly wished more harm on him or at the very least didnt want him to obtain any kind of freedom or salvation. its not even a "wow in hindsight he really deserved better 😔" thing, u dont need the implications in "el camino" or time to Reflect on The Show to watch breaking bad and understand that jesse was a victim and in no way deserved further harm. like, it's not subtext, it's just text. jesse was an imperfect victim and sometimes actively contributed to his own suffering and did shitty things that absolutely warranted consequences, but to deride him for trying to escape his abuse the "wrong way", for "becoming a rat", for "betraying" walt after "everything walt did for him"?? how can u say these things and wish more harm + less hope upon him without realizing that it's all textbook victim-blaming?? and like this isnt even a case of all those commenters being walt stans or inherently hateful and shitty: it's holding a grudge against an imperfect victim for not being a christ-like saint until the very end. skyler was an imperfect victim (woman, nagging wife), jesse was an imperfect victim (addict, ungrateful accomplice). jesse didnt always turn the other cheek and apparently that means he shouldn't have been allowed to speed away to his freedom in the finale