#bc that would make a lot of small things make sense
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i NEED to see Louis having the biggest crashout of all crashouts over reader. He don’t play about the people he loves in his life.
Also, Im so curious about how he reacts/talks about her without her being in the room. We know he’s caring and funny to her face, but I want Daniel to notice Louis indeed does have someone close to him in modern age and ask him about her. Will Louis show Daniel her paintings Louis has in his home? (anonymously purchased with the highest offer, just so his bestie racks in some dollars. Bc we all know bestie reader would give him her work for free)
a/n i can't put into words how much i love this. louis is so lighthearted around reader, but he becomes so deeply un-chill the second something reminds him of her mortality.
omg the interview potential is too good 😭. i love that you used the word 'notice' bc i think daniel would pick up on a vibe (similar paintings all over the penthouse, louis periodically looking at his phone and smiling, louis occasionally using phrases that feel gen-z) so when reader actually comes up daniel's like yeah. there it is.
anyways, here's a fic that explores both louis talking about reader and louis crashing out over reader and her mortality :)
----
There's something about the painting serving as the living room's focal point, and the smaller piece in the foyer, and the art work decorating the guest room. Not necessarily a style or a specific theme, but some underlying quality that conveys a sense of unity between them.
"Are you recording yet?" The prompting is small and far from an accusation. Daniel still finds himself shifting slightly, his gaze tearing away from the painting as if he's been caught staring at something not meant for him to notice.
"Uh--yes." It takes him a second longer than it should to meet Louis's stare. "That's an interesting painting."
The corner of Louis's mouth tugs itself upwards at that, not quite a smile but something that feels incredibly warm. He turns his head slightly, looking back at the painting as if to re-experience the details of it. "It's from a dear artist of mine."
Daniel's immediately thrown by the phrasing. His attention shifts away from Louis and onto Armand, whose lips are pressed together but is otherwise giving no indication of how he feels. "...An artist of yours?"
"Don't get him started." Armand's warning feels much too tired to be amused.
Louis halfheartedly glares at his companion before returning his focus to Daniel. "There's an artist, and she's..." Louis trails off, his eyebrows drawing together as he thinks through the best way to make his point.
"His very best friend in the world," Armand finishes for him, the words flat in their blatant sarcasm.
"Stop it," Louis sighs, the defense so halfhearted Daniel has to believe that this is an argument they've had regularly enough. "She is my friend, but it...it sometimes feels so much more important than that."
Okay. So Louis has a friend--an important friend--that Armand doesn't seem to like. It's hard to imagine them embracing other vampires these days, but the thought of a human girl so casually and openly important to Louis and disliked by Armand is even harder for him to grasp.
"Yes, she's like you," Louis offers after a beat, "And it's not like that. She's--like family to me." Daniel's questions are distracting enough to dull the usual annoyance he feels when Louis enters his mind. "And Armand's a lot more accepting of her than he'd ever say."
Armand's gaze flits towards Louis. His lips are still pressed together, but he's not exactly frowning, and there's something behind his eyes that almost feels thoughtful. It's not so much his expression as it is his blankness. It's a neutrality that almost feels methodical. "Clearly."
Daniel reaches for his pen. This 'friendship' seems like the kind of thing that might warrant a few rewrites of the more current chapters. He'll need extensive notes for the sake of continuity.
"So," Daniel starts, "This artist..." Louis provides your name. Daniel writes it down, making a mental note to look you up online before his revisions for the sake of accuracy. "How old is she?"
"Twenty-two." It's not the most surprising thing. They've mentioned other friends and acquaintances in passing, and they're often close to the ages they resemble...but Daniel's never seen evidence of them in their home. And Louis has never spoken so fondly of a human before.
Daniel looks at the painting again. He still hasn't been able to decipher what makes your work feel so cohesive, but he's starting to think it might be feeling. For the briefest moment, it's almost enough to make him wish there was a way to keep someone he doesn't even know away from them.
"I know," Louis says flatly, something behind his eyes briefly hardening. "But we're...careful. I ne--"
"Does she know?"
For whatever reason, the question seems to remind Louis of his fondness for you. "She knows." Daniel resists the urge to sigh. Twenty-two and willingly running around with vampires. He's not exactly in a position to judge, but it's difficult not to.
Louis relaxes slightly, his hand moving to rest against his knee. "She even knows about you."
"Really?"
"Please, they don't go long enough without speaking for her to not know anything." Another passively-aggressive comment from Armand. Still, there's relevance in what he's implying. How close are you and Louis? And why does he choose to spend so much time with you?
Daniel hums once in acknowledgement of Armand's words as he finishes writing down his last thought. "Why?" The question feels like something crafted by a very bad journalist. Daniel tries again, "Why her? What about her made you want to be her friend?"
Louis is quiet for a long moment, and to Daniel's surprise, Armand allows it to pass without any sort of comment. "When I'm around her, I can almost remember what it felt like to have sunlight touch mortal skin."
There's an affection there that's impossible to deny. If Daniel didn't think you needed to be a part of this before...
"She sounds--nice."
Louis eases at Daniel's tentative approval. "She's funny, too." He relaxes, allowing his shoulders to slouch as he leans forward. "And talented--during her gallery debut, an anonymous bidder paid a hundred-thousand dollars over asking price for her first piece." Daniel writes down the detail. "I've got more paintings I can show you later."
Daniel has a feeling this isn't as much of an offer as it is an inevitability. He agrees anyway, "Yeah, later." He turns to a new page in his notebook, writing your name at the top before drawing a bullet point beneath it. He'll need to figure out where you fit within the larger narrative. "So how did you meet her?"
----
Interviewing vampires isn't that different from interviewing humans. Not when you disregard the lack of effort it'd take them to end your life if they dislike your line of questioning and focus on the stiffness that characterizes the beginning of each interview.
When individuals, human or otherwise, are made to dissect their thoughts and memories, they tend to be slow to share until they've answered a few questions and start to feel like they're having a genuine conversation. Daniel's used to the phenomenon, used to the shallowness of the answers provided earlier in the evening. What he isn't used to, however, is Louis's irritation.
"It felt like what you'd assume it'd feel like." The answer is so nondescript, Louis might as well have not said anything at all.
Daniel's instinct is to ask for elaboration, but Louis gives him a look that feels like a warning not to. Daniel glances at his notes, thinking through his latest line of questioning. Is this...a sensitive subject?
"Don't mind Louis." Armand's responds, answering the question that Daniel has yet to ask out loud. "He's beside himself because his darling angel hasn't answered him in almost two days."
Louis turns his head to look at Armand. "I'm not beside myself." The correction is sharp, but Daniel can't help but feel like Armand might have a point. Louis straightens to face Daniel again. "It's not like her. She either answers or tells me she's going to be busy."
It's a concern that's almost unnerving to witness. "...The artist?" Louis dips his chin downwards once in silent confirmation. "She's twenty-two, she probably just forgot--"
"She wouldn't forget me." There's a harshness to the interruption that Daniel sometimes forget Louis is capable of.
"No," the response is more a result of an instinct for self preservation than a genuine attempt at agreeing with him. "I didn't mean it like that." Surprise aside, there's something interesting about Louis's defensiveness. "There are a lot of reasons for someone to not answer their phone."
Louis's quiet for a moment, his expression slowly morphing into something more neutral. He's not exactly easing, but it's a step in the right direction. After another second of silence, Louis parts his lips. Before he can actually speak, he's interrupted by the ringing of a cell phone.
Louis picks up the phone from the couch. He accepts the call so immediately, Daniel already knows who's on the other end. "Give me a minute," Louis mumbles as stands up.
Daniel sighs, leaning forward to pause the audio recording. At least Louis has a reason to come back in a better mood.
----
"No texts, no calls, you turned off your location--"
"I didn't want you to freak out."
The response only amplifies Louis's irritation. You didn't want him to freak out. What do you think he's been doing for the last day and a half? And what could possibly be so bad you needed to cut him out completely to keep it a secret?
Louis resists the urge to scoff. "What happened that was so bad you needed to keep it a secret from me?" The words are sharper than he usually is with you, and his phrasing isn't exactly fair, but he's not feeling very patient right now.
"It's not a secret--I just needed a second to deal with it before telling you." The vagueness only annoys Louis further. "I hurt my wrist." You pause, thinking through your wording, "I was out with a friend, and someone tapped the back of his car and I instinctually put my hand on the dash, and the pressure snapped my wrist."
What. "You were in a car accident?"
"No, it--" You cut yourself off with a partial sigh as you think through how to proceed. "It was a total fender bender. Josh's car isn't even totaled."
That's nowhere near as assuring as you think it is. "Thank God for that. Your arm's broken, but Josh's car is okay."
"My arm is fine." The defense means very little to him. "It's only my wrist." Louis rolls his eyes at the technicality. This is what he gets for leaving you alone. "But it's in a cast now, and in four to six weeks it'll be off."
The thought of you existing in New York by yourself, even more vulnerable than usual leaves a pit in his stomach. "I'm scheduling a flight."
"You don't need to do that." There's nothing surprising about the protest. "It's not a big deal, I've been checked out and the only thing wrong with me is my wrist." When Louis doesn't respond right away, you continue, "A lot of people break things."
Louis has never liked that kind of argument. You're not meant to be lumped into such a general category. "Those people aren't you."
The directness of the comment seems to soften you. There's a moment of hesitation, and then a reluctant sigh. "You're busy, you've got your book thing, and Armand--"
"If he has a problem with it, he can come, too." This should be enough to make the suddenness of their trip seem a lot less dramatic to you. Armand and him visit you semi-regularly, and they are over due for a trip. The thought of Armand being there might even be easing to you.
There's a brief stretch of silence, and then a careful, "You guys don't need to stop everything because I'm accident prone."
It'd be fair to argue that this isn't a result of your clumsiness. You were in someone else's car, and they weren't paying attention to the roads enough to keep you safe. Josh--you've mentioned him a few times in a variety of contexts, and Louis has yet to find a reason to be a fan. But that doesn't matter right now.
You're alone and even though you're not complaining, Louis can't help but imagine the pain you're probably in. You don't need to be lectured, and you don't need to hear anything that might make you worry about Josh. After a moment, he offers you something small, "Not your accident."
He wonders if there's a chance that you're injured in any other way. You said that you only broke your wrist, but that doesn't mean the accident didn't result in any superficial injuries. "Thanks." The word feels small. "I didn't call during a bad time, did I?"
Louis briefly thinks of Daniel and Armand waiting in the living room. "It's never a bad time to hear from you. Even when you're calling to tell me you've been in an accident."
"I considered texting, but I didn't want to give you a heart attack." He can hear the smile in your voice. "I really didn't like not talking to you."
It'd be easy for him to hold onto his worry, onto his anger, but he can't stand the thought of you being physically and emotionally wounded. "I didn't like it either." It didn't take much to hide this from him. There are so many ways in which you could be hurt, in which something could happen to you that he'd have no way of knowing about. "I also don't like the thought of you all alone."
There's the briefest crackle of static and then a soft sigh that feels like a yawn. "You sound like my mom."
"She's not wrong."
You sigh, the sound so familiar in its exasperation Louis is almost comforted by it. "You two have been on each other's side since Christmas."
The memory of meeting your mother when she came to visit you during the holiday season is one he's extremely fond of. It had been a brief shift, a small window into who you were before him, but everything about it had made him feel so normal. "I can't help that she's always right."
The crackly hum of movement briefly returns. Louis can picture you adjusting your hold on your cell phone. The thought is so tangible it only adds to the weight of your absence. "Why don't you come here?"
"Really?" He can hear the excitement bleeding into your voice. You recover quickly, the gentle static of movement briefly taking over the other end of the line. "You--you think that'd be okay? You have that writer over, and you're doing your--"
"Daniel's fine." In all honesty, Louis isn't sure if Daniel will mind another person around, but it doesn't matter. Injured or not, he can't imagine ever telling you to stay away from him. "He may even want to ask you a few things." That's true enough. Daniel was intrigued by the thought of Louis having a mortal friend. You'd be a good way at rounding out the modern era.
You're moving again. It isn't difficult for Louis to imagine you in your bedroom or on your couch, a heavy throw blanket on your lap. "I get to talk about you to a journalist?" The words are much too amused. "I'm going to tell him about the--" You're interrupted by your own laughter. "The club in Milan, with the LSD guy that smelled like--"
"Don't," it's a halfhearted attempt at stopping you, "We said we'd never tell anyone about that."
"I don't know, I think it's a story that deserves to be immortalized."
It's only an expression to you, but the reminder of the concept of permanence tarnishes the little peace the conversation has managed to bring him. Without intervention, you'll eventually vanish and leave him the sole holder of your shared memories. If he's not careful, that day might come sooner than it needs to. However, with intervention...
He pushes against the thought immediately. The prospect of turning you, of separating you from your soul for the sake of keeping you here is one that he only considers when he is at his most selfish.
Besides, he doubts he'd be able to bring himself to turn you himself. Armand is repulsed by the idea of having a fledgling, but there's a chance that he'd come around to the idea if you were the one to ask him. For all of his complaints and your shared bickering, something about the way that Armand never attempts to retaliate against you makes Louis think he might have a greater soft spot for you than he'd ever admit to.
Still, if Louis is allowing himself to imagine a completely self indulgent reality, the thought of Armand turning you doesn't fully fit into his ideal version of your transformation. Not when Armand's blood doesn't flow within his own veins. He banishes this thought more immediately than the last.
"Maybe I could be convinced to let you share that story if you agree to something."
You sigh in a way that's so incredibly telling. "You're not flying to New York to help me fly to Dubai."
Louis's not sure if he's more amused or irritated by your ability to read him. "I don't like the idea of you traveling by yourself, especially with a broken wrist."
He can practically feel you rolling your eyes. "It's this or no trip."
Louis doubts that you're extremely firm in this position, but he's willing to let you have a win. "You wouldn't do that to me."
You yawn, the sound low and tired. "Tough love."
"I'm not keeping you up, am I?" It's not particularly late, but there's a chance your body's exhausted. He'll have to read up on human injury before you get here. "You sound tired."
"The doctor gave me some pain killers for my wrist, and they make me kind of drowsy."
Great--you, all alone in your apartment, with a broken wrist, and painkillers in your system. The sooner Louis can get you here, the better. "You should get some sleep, I'll send you the flight information as soon as I have it."
"Okay." Your lack of questioning reveals more about your drowsiness than your words ever would. "Do you want me to send you my credit card info?"
"I've got it."
You let out a small breath that indicates resistance. "Louis."
There has to be a line somewhere. "It's this or no trip." He means the echoed phrase as much as you meant it, and Louis is convinced that you can that you can tell.
His hollow threat works. After a second, you give in with a small, "Okay." Wow, you must be more tired than you're letting on. "How long should I pack for?"
Louis isn't in the mood to think about your eventual departure. Fortunately, there's one topic that almost always works as a distraction. "Pack light, we'll go shopping when you get here."
"You so get me."
Louis smiles at that. "I know." The silence that follows feels a little less like a choice on your end. "Get some sleep, I'll send you the flight details tonight and I'll call you tomorrow." And then, just because he's not ready to let go of all his worry just yet, he adds, "Please answer."
"I was trying to spare you."
He doesn't doubt that at least some of your motivations were noble, but he also knows you, and he knows how you feel about his general wariness of the world around you. "That was the opposite of sparing me."
"Fine." You let out a breath, and Louis can practically feel you rolling your eyes. "My beloved Louis de Pointe du Lac, I promise to never intentionally ignore your calls again." The sarcasm in your voice isn't enough to taint the sentiment. You really do mean it.
Louis is nearly overwhelmed by his fondness for you. Things will be better, easier when you're here. "That's all I ask." You're quiet in a way that makes it impossible to not feel your drowsiness. "Goodnight, love you."
"Goodnight," you echo, "Love you. Tell Armand I said 'hi'."
"I will," he says, "Now get some sleep."
You mumble a response he can't fully make out before hanging up.
----
It's earlier in the evening than Louis wants it to be.
You're asleep in your own apartment, but it's difficult to not think about things much more gruesome than that. You kept the accident from him so easily, and you're at a greater physical disadvantage than you usually are.
You're also alone, not that you're safer when you're with others. The thought of the boy that allowed the accident to happen only adds to Louis's irritation. Josh. Josh, who crashes vehicles. Josh, who must have done something to make you think the accident was your fault in some way.
Louis pushes against the feelings. Josh, the details of the accident, the state that you're in. There will be time to deal with all of it later. He just needs to get through tonight. You'll be here tomorrow.
"It's still early," Louis's words are sulkier than he wants them to be, "We could go out for a bit."
"If you want to." Armand's response is slow and almost painfully nondescript in a way that suits the way he's been all evening.
Louis lets out a partial scoff. "What is it?" Armand angles his head to the side slightly in a display of synthetic confusion. "You've been passive aggressive all evening. What is it?" Armand doesn't respond. "Was it my worry? The phone call? The fact that I can't leave her alone like that?"
"You shouldn't have left her at all." The response is surprising enough to briefly silence Louis. "I told you it was only a matter of time before something happened to her."
The novelty of Armand almost expressing concern over you fades, leaving an unstable irritation in its wake. What right does Armand have to accuse Louis of abandoning you? Maybe if Armand didn't treat you like a puppy he didn't want, you would have wanted to live near them. "I didn't leave her--she chose not to move."
"You could have tried harder."
Louis blinks, his surprise clouding the potential anger. "Maybe if you didn't threaten her after every comment."
Armand's eyebrows draw together as if the possibility of you not enjoying your halfhearted spats had never occurred to him. "I have never once attempted to hurt her."
The distinction means very little to Louis. It's a statement that doesn't need to be made, because if Louis had sensed so much as an inkling of actual malice towards you on Armand's end, Armand would have never been allowed to be alone with you.
"We're different than her." The words are directed at Armand, but Louis's thoughts still latch onto the ways in which they apply to him as well. "After awhile, it has to be off putting to always be reminded of that."
Armand notes the thinly veiled self hatred immediately. As exhausting as it is to constantly hear about the poor saint cursed to be surrounded by such vile creates, it's even more draining to watch these sentiments impact Louis...and you.
He stands from his spot on the couch slowly, approaching Louis with slow, measured steps. "If you believe she's afraid of either of us, you are severely underestimating her."
Louis eases, the corner of his mouth tugging itself into something that comes close to resembling a smile. "You're not wrong about that." Armand extends an arm, placing a comforting hand on Louis's shoulder. Louis reciprocates the gesture, his hand coming to rest against Armand's forearm. "It's just hard not to worry."
To Armand, the response is a painful understatement. Louis worries about all that could happen in his absence, he worries about all that's wrong about his presence. Things would be so much easier if he'd get over the paranoia of 'ruining' you.
"You wouldn't have to worry so much if she was here more." Armand drags his thumb against Louis's shoulder. "Maybe this visit should be a little longer."
Louis's expression softens at that. "I'll do what I can to keep her here while she has a cast." He's never once asked you to leave, but he's aware of the temporary nature of your visits. You start missing your home and the access to whatever you need to create whatever you want. "But she starts to miss her home, and her studio."
"There's space here," Armand offers carefully, "You could give her a room." Louis's eyebrows pull together at the suggestion. "You're different when she's with you." Armand continues to trace patterns against Louis's shoulder. "And it's important we preserve that."
Louis's eyebrows draw together again, his confusion a little sharper this time. "Preserve it?"
"Human emotions are fleeting. The more time she spends away from you, the more likely she is to find more permanent relationships." Armand doesn't have to meet Louis's gaze to know that the implication has served its purpose. "And if she finds other people, falls in love and gets married, you can't expect things to stay the same between you."
Armand squeezes Louis's shoulder a little more firmly, a gesture meant to convey something comforting. "As your companion, I'm capable of grasping your relationship and even then, sometimes it's difficult to accept. Do you think some human boy would have the same patience? The same understanding?"
Louis frowns. Worrying about losing you to your mortality is a simple thing, but accepting the fact that he could just as easily lose you to change is nowhere near as easy. "I'm--I'm not going to make her do something she doesn't want."
Armand has to work at keeping his expression neutral. Louis's obsession with your free will is often a limiting thing. "Then we'll make sure she wants to."
----
manipulation is a love language, i promise <3
#bestie reader verse#iwtv x reader#interview with a vampire x reader#louis de pointe du lac x reader#armand x reader#itwv x reader#iwtv x fem!reader
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YEAHHH I GET TO TALK MORE HAHAHA
"sets" and the watcher-duos: okay so a lot of this takes inspiration from that old SMP i mentioned in the original post as well as like my own minecraft lore so i'm going to try and keep any additions from that to a minimum unless necessary LMAO. in the lore of that SMP we had two babysitting our world (one was based off me bc i was the admin and the other was one created by the server), which is where i got the concept of two of them working together to carry out various aspects of what the world would need. its not. Unheard of for a Watcher to work alone? But its more uncommon, typically because the pairs are made up of an older and a younger member with the younger learning from their elder how to do things properly. its like having a permanent assigned mentor until either they're needed for someone else, or something happens to one or the other and the cycle kind of repeats.
I haven't named the older of X's duo yet, but She's the older member who was helping guide him along and teach him everything. She's pretty old, Hermitcraft is NOT her first rodeo, and X was not the first Watcher she was ever partnered with. She's an absolute doll and an absolute powerhouse who understands her own power very well and knows how to USE it. She has this extreme respect for the worlds around her and how she manages them: While she wields the power in her hands to destroy anything at her whims, she's so fascinated by every world she's placed over and the varying ways her players behave and act and live. Even though she would have loved to have kept X with her, she was able to recognize that he was happier when he was with them and not with her - he needed the activity and the broad companionship that being among them brought, which she could not truly provide.
Appearance: Watchers have a standard appearance that most fit to some extent, but there are some adjustments (hair style, etc). But they all typically fall into the same categories of much taller than the average player, with ~two sets of wings, where typically the primaries and secondaries are the same skyscape that's seen in the end portal and it's kind of sickening if you look at them too long. A lot of them have extra sets of eyes, sometimes on their wings, sometimes on their bodies, etc. Xisuma's former partner has some on her wings and an extra on her forehead but her mask covers it. They have a standard outfit they wear, but it isn't uncommon for Watchers to adjust their outfits in small ways to mimic their players (ie adding little accessories that they see around)
Only a few players remember what X used to look like before he became admin, and occasionally he'll get poked at for it because he did Not know how to manage himself in comparison to the world because he was so much larger than it. He was always hitting things with his wings and running into things because he just couldn't quite make sense of it. However over time the exact details of his old appearance have been lost to time with the Hermits, and with his ability to adjust his base level appearance over his new body, it hasn't felt super important to remember. (I'll have to share the Admin concept from the old SMP, i'm still really proud of it and it makes a lot more make sense than just 'its a blank slate code body that frequently gets angry that he exists in the world'). His former Partner remembers, but she remembers just about everything.
your questions made my day I am thriving right now. i really need to name the Hermitcraft watcher...maybe i'll spend today after work spitballing some ideas.
oughhh i want to talk about all my old hermitcraft stuff from when I was in high school so badly, I used to have a fanfiction I was writing that I gave up on to rewrite that I've still been working on ideas for and making headcanons for for like...4 years now and it makes me go feral
anyways anyways hermitcraft fandom we go wild over watcher stuff I Know I'm One of them but like...the concept that they're not evil and just do their job and hang out and like their players?? makes my heart happy. very big very tall creatures who are not human but not exactly space either who absolutely love these little dorks they've been asked to keep an eye on. they're not all good but like. most of them are decent. xisuma is the younger of a set (i still haven't named her, i want it to be something either really elegant or something super silly and cute from the Hermits naming her), he's practically the son of the older of the pair, and they're a phenomenal set. but when they're assigned to hermitcraft everything changes.
he spends a lot of his time on the ground with the players, and he finds himself just absolutely falling in love with them and his time with them, and when they find themselves in need of an admin and a leader he makes the difficult choice and gives up his life Watching and becomes one of them - an incredibly difficult process that he wasn't even sure he would survive due to what he had to do to adapt. (It was in this process that his twin forms and its great they're great they're jerks to each other and it works for them).
I have an old adaptation from an SMP of an admin form that I'm utilizing here that he forced himself into - he couldn't become a player but he couldn't live among them in his current form, so he found a middle ground. It isnt stable, it's joints are made of fluctuating code and it doesn't like the overworld anymore than his first form liked to fit in it, but it's the closest he'll get - besides, because the admin form is a blank slate, he can create his own appearance overtop of it.
but to do this he gave up his life with the person who he'd spent his eternity with, and who he knew he would likely never truly see again. and all the love in the world he has for his expanding players and his worlds could never replace the empty place he has for the person who taught him how to love to begin with.
(she saves his life later on when he tries to be a silly self sacrificing little goof and everyone cries but he doesn't know that xoxo)
anyways I just needed to get this out of my brain I may do this for the old fanfiction as well, it was related to the s6 civil war and time travel and stuff and I kinda miss it but God idk if I'll ever actually get to write it now with adult stuff. it was originally grian centric but it definitely is now xisuma centric he's my little dude.
#ike's rambles#hermitcraft#hermitblr#hermitcraft headcanons#hermitcraft xisuma#xisumavoid#xisuma#minecraft#mineblr#minecraft smp#mcyt#minecraft yt#minecraft youtube#raaaaa
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you know. thats interesting then that theyve got this whole "the time machine" movie ref in the ending theme and the imagery of a man clearly in love w/ his wife trying to get her back by going in time. im glad qian jin is clearly not who they mean what those parallels. so i guess if cheng xiao shi doesnt get on the boat...and creates another timeline...and then exits the photo maybe it creates a paradox that causes lu guang to die? its so hard to theorize for this show lmaooo the only time i've been right so far was with the twins but that seemed pretty obvious to me
yeah i. never know where link click is going ever. i’ve stopped trying at this point i’m just going on the journey they take me on and i’ll perhaps kick and scream and be insane on the way
#maybe those parallels with the time travel film are purposefully misleading with qian jin#or maybe it’ll be meant to mirror cheng xiaoshi and lu guang…..#i just kinda hope there’s multiple timelines and they’re perpetually trying to save each other in them#bc that would make a lot of small things make sense#i think the timeloop theory is out the window at this point but i wouldn’t be mad at multiple timelines#idk i am a simple blogger#i just hope whatever they do they do it well#link click spoilers#shi guang dai li ren#asks#mine
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shirahama-sensei reminded me she has a thing for the teacher from pokemon s/v so i randomly went off on an au where qifrey is the professor. etc
#witch hat tag#orufrey#the first image is qifrey dressed as that guy. i'm glad she has an inexplicable attachment to some dorky pokemon man like i do#someone was like 'wouldn't it make more sense for deanreldea to be the champion' .... well no. not in my world .#it maps onto magic skill. champions aren't like the Rulers of the land they're just the most skilled at this thing#oru as a burnt out champion who's gently encouraging a kid like coco to reach him one day means a lot to me. i like pokemon narratives#agott went shiny hunting for the same thing coco had but cooler - just to impress her. she really is a pokemon rival type girl#pushing myself to the limit to prove my worth to you - to get to the summit first so i'm waiting for you..#and then realising it wasn't just to be strong - i realised i started wanting to see your smile. i wanted you to have fun.#i think coco would defeat agott at the end of victory road and then defeat oru & i'll probably draw one last thing abt that at least..#the image is very cinematic..the dialogue and music in my mind..I WANT TO FACE ORU!!!!!!!!!!#the super cool insanely powerful awesome champion is the spouse of my professor and he gave me advice at the beginning...no way....#btw the elite four would be the sages which is perfect (and maybe easthies as the first guy?) evil Team Brimhats#coustas as their renegade gladion-type figure. the gym leaders would be like sun/moon and s/v combined#travelling around facing the best students from different classes - so jujy and eunie etc.#i've barely thought about 'teams' or anything bc i care amore about the narrative side of things always lol#but idk. tetia with a swirlix - eunie would be ghost type boy - riche with small things but also a ceruledge or a steelix something massiv#and brushbug would have a final form which is really long like an eastern dragon- fluffy and with wings like a fairy. It's beautiful to me#well anyway *tries to move on to the rest of life now the brief obsession has passed*#obviously oru would be fire-type tho and qifrey would be water-type and they set off together and traded their starters etc.....it goes on
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I think everyone wants to own a complete works of Shakespeare and I want to get everyone a complete works of Shakespeare that is right for them
#as long as it's not one of those dime a dozen copies w squished text and no notes 🖤#b&n book annex don't interact. canterbury classics don't interact#i have a friend that i went antiquing w recently who got a decameron illustrated by rockwell kent#and their birthday is coming up and my toxic trait is that i wanna get them the complete works illustrated by rockwell kent#even though im not sure that's the most readable copy for a 21st century reader to begin with#i havent actually read a play in one of those admittedly. i know they have the cambridge notes in the back of the book#but that's a lot more work than having it at the bottom or side of the page#idk if they'd be down for that much flipping tbh. i know flipping isn't my favorite#especially in a big book#and idk if the cambridge notes would even be that approachable for them? idk the annotation style#tales from diana#ive been trying to get a taste for more editions of shakespeare lately and mostly that's just been within copies of individual plays#and i feel like this is a journey i kinda started too late#like i read titus andronicus in a folger edition which probably wouldve been gamechanging to me in 2018#but as a reader w years more experience it was just kinda giving me more than i needed. i found it excessive#versus when i was a beginner i often felt lost even w the notes in my riverside shakespeare#i felt like it was still above my reading level (and it was) especially when it would reference things i was barely familiar with#whereas in 2024 it's like my riverside is my baby. and but for its large unwieldiness and perilous condition. i could read from it forever#i read not a shakespeare play in an arden edition recently but philaster by beaumont and fletcher. same editing team though#i thought the notes were sometimes a little excessive but they certainly weren't kinda basic like folger's#i thought at times maybe they could split it up w some of those historic or cultural commentary sort of notes#like those were what i would rather flip to the back to read later. as opposed to taking up like half the page#oxford english classics kinda does that too but w their longer annotations i think flipping to the back makes sense#bc arden somewhat is flooding the white space abd straining my eyes. even though other than format it's very similar editing#i like my rsc complete works and what ive read of the individual plays a lot but there's just one thing about the complete works#that i have a qualm with. i respect that they have a single column for the text#as opposed to two-column... i understand for some it scans better and helps w comprehension#i wish the notes on the bottom were in two columns though. bc the way they run on w such a wide margin#i genuinely lose my place a lot. in the small text. kinda hate that part of the reading experience#and when there's lines of prose it can also be harder to scan
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Atla live action 😐
#thats my honest reaction 😐#to be fair ive only seen 20 minutes of the s1 finale bc my parents are watching it but. mmmmm kinda mid#like. the casting is definitely an improvement since the last time they tried a live action but it feels like the writing falls flat#or maybe im being harsh bc ive only heard negative criticism on it beforehand. but fr anytime u bring up the original its already#good and not just because its the original. so much fucking detail went into it to the point of someone noticing azula wielding mai's knive#to how well thought out irohs character is used as a way of uniting the cast especially as zukos foil#i heard that sokkas sexism was toned down and i have to agree that feels like a cheap move. like i get WHY they think it would be better#but its not about how that reflects on real world its about how it affects the story. sokka starts out as a misogynistic asshole because#it makes it that much more impactful when he changes. toning that down makes it flatter and makes his character development weak#and someone pointed out they didnt even make him wear the kyoshi warrior uniform and i know it feels like such a small detail but#come on man. they did that in the original because not only does it help him really walk in their shoes - wearing 'feminine' clothing and#makeup and having suki explain its significance but it also ties in with the shows theme of harmony and intersectionality#i was also disappointed when they had the fire sages explain how the water tribe draws power from the moon because in the original it was#IROH who explained it to aang and everyone else BECAUSE we as the audience is under the impression hes with the 'bad guys'#and it builds up to how he learned from the other nations which reconciles his past as a war general and his character overall#AND its an excellent starting point for the cast and audience to understand how the nations arent as closed off as you would think#plus you would think its only fire nation doing propaganda but they expanded on that with earth kingdom censorship and it WORKS#a lot of things in the live action also feel arbitrary like. they gave momo a near death experience for 5 minutes for no reason#im firmly on the stance of bringing back filler moments instead of putting major events right after each other so that u give your#audience a sense of time passing and to really absorb the story. but i think thats more like shock value than filler and yeah its a small#thing to gripe about but those things build up and its really annoying. the thing abt avatar filler moments is that however small#its at least meaningful. hell even the beach episode emphasizes how isolated zuko and his friends are as child soldiers#i also swore to never watch the first live action since it was that bad but i really liked the stylized tattoos they used for aang#anyway. those arejust my thoughts. im not gonna watch the rest because im a ride or die for the original aftr growing up and#rewatching it at least 20 times as a kid. but theres definitely room for improvement and i wish ppl wouldnt take it as 'better' just cuz#netflix is adapting it. i wouldve killed for them to just reanimate the entire avatar series and touch NOTHING ELSE no redub#no changes to the story. just reanimate the thing and leave the rest alone and youd make easy money just the same#ALSO its very jarring not hearing jack desena and dante basco voicing sokka and zuko cause their voices were the most recognizable to me#i get that its because its live action but im allowed to feel a little sad abt that. and uncle irohs accent was really soothing#yapping
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Those sonic prime gjinkas from my day out today
#luriart#sonic prime#shadow the hedgehog#nine the fox#sonic the hedgehog#i guess. only twice. btw trust me on this his outfit changes w his shoes & gloves#rusty rose#thorn rose#knuckles the dread#prim the bat#prim rouge#<- ??????????#nine again. my son boy. why do all the sonic kids i wish i could adopt happen to be the type that would tell people kys#rouge the bat#just the once.#rebel the bat#rebel rouge#anyway okay so a] this was a lot of fun. i dont know if ive made this clear in my other gjinka posts but sonic's shirt says sega normally#but it reflects what he's thinking other times. Only for the jokes no one else seems to notice that the shirt changes#b] oughgh i have this obsession w the hair of these characters and making it make sense for them? nine has darker hair than tails bc tails'#hair is a] sunbleached and b] he bleaches it closer to his roots than nine#nine's hair is also greasier & straighter. it has less volume#my og amy has thick braids w heart shaped beads at the end but why the shit would the eggcouncil let her have Heart Beads???#shes their sick as hell robot. so her hair's grown out into dreads on their own. she has sort of a side shave but like. in the way that one#side is metal. thorn doesn't have the time 2 braid her own hair so she has half of it cut short and the other half grown out in a small afr#you'll never believe this but dread has dreads#prim actually gets rouge's natural hair!!! my rouge wears a wig and all the pieces that frame her face are gelled on#but if rouge [like. usual rouge] took her wig off she'd have a short buzz underneath. and i was so excited to draw it so i did#rebel keeps the wig. knucks is there at the very bottom but he has real tight braids#anyway one thing i was wondering while i was drawing is where the fuck did prim get the black shirt under her leaves shirt
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okay I’m annoying yk that and I know that.
I love to see what non bkdk shippers think will happen with the manga, bc this way I can learn and see things outside of my special interest for the chapters. And I was reading some interpretations of Ochako being weird in 425.
Some people are right here expecting izuku to go and support her. Some people saw him being this sad, yet only could think about him worrying about Ochako’s feelings over her fight, not Izuku’s fight. they think this will lead to a beautiful confession, in which she cries how she couldn’t save himiko, that izuku noticed, and that he’ll call her his hero and they’ll kiss. And I can’t help but feel like this is bc he is the boy. Because he is the boy in that ship, he is the one that supports, not gets supported. When I was reading those little scenarios, I thought they would explain deku would cry with her about his own fight and bond over it, or something like that. But no… they believe deku’s strange reactions come from being worried over Ochako only. and it’s so sad, to see how gender expectations are being pushed like that in something as simple as a “what I want to happen in the manga” scenario. It’s sad how people think this is how it should work, when actually that would make me even sadder -as I said, for the most part I didn’t care about that ship, I accepted it as inevitable, but this isn’t fair. Romance irl is not perfect, but in a story for this to be a resolution when the character who hasn’t talked about his feeling keeps not talking about them and just supports her before confessing…
Even hetero relationships should have some balance, right?
EDIT:
someone brought up bkdk lmao. They explained how the confession from ochako could get answered: happy ending is izuku loving her back, bad ending is him saying he likes katsuki, and medium ending him liking mei. I can’t even lmao.
another person argued deli just has shown a brotherly bond with him (weird) and that he only thought of him at that dinner with the Im too blessed, and the last time he followed him was in season 1. people need to learn how to read, and connect the dots, literally. No matter how you see their relationship in canon as platonic or romantic (or queer platonic), it’s clear their bond is strong and that Izuku depends on katsuki as much as katsuki depends on izuku on emotional levels -izuku losing control over and over and over again with him, AFO explaining he is the closest to midoriya, katsuki going towards him no matter how injured he is, looking for each other and the time stops, etc.
this is just canon. There’s no arguing about it. Idk why intimate bonds between two male characters means they are like brothers. Is it bc if they are not related, there’s no way to not see it as gay?/gen but also /s
#grrr talking#I want to make another post about the ways Izu//ocha could have been developed easily#Like extremely easily#What was the reason to give the thing that was supposed to connect ochako to deku#To himiko and ochako#What was the reason to also make that connection an all might keychain which doesn’t hold any weight for her bc she’s not a huge am fan#Why having himiko grab that symbol they now share and cover it completely with her hand#Why not giving izuku another physical symbol of her#Why bringing up the childhood cards instead when we almost knew nothing about them#Why have them be explicitly connected to each other thru a dream they have to share together for it to be worth it#For bkdk to become friends again they didn’t need all of this#You don’t need to share your life n be connected to someone in order to become friends again#Or to atone for the bullying#They could have been shown working to be friends ever since the apology#And have small moments of them trying to just be that#And focus those big efforts into izu////ocha scenes#But no#we get this shit#Wtf#the contrast between Izuku reuniting with Katsuki vs with Ochako is a lot#N it could have been more implied the romance!#Like have him be surprised instead of just sad -it would show he notices she is acting weird n gets worried bc of it#Or have ochako show a bittersweet face like saying pls deku kun don’t make me say it now#So many options and yet#They don’t get disappointed bc it’s a het ship n they believe that makes it canon#JUST LIKE WITH FUCKING TODO///MOMO LIKE ITS CUTE IDC BUT HOW CAN YOU THINK THAT MAKES SENSE FOR CANON#No problem with these fanon ships bUT WHEN THEY ACT LIKE THEY ARE REAL N THE REST R “DELUSIONAL”
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Hi! Is there anything about dragon ink that makes him different from other inks? The reason I ask is because I was wondering if he has a special past or personality. I really like your drawings!! have a great day!
[ * dear stars now i want to make draconink lore ]
[ * umm. There is a silly lil fun fact i hope i haven't mentioned before!!!!!!! ]
[ * They like to collect rocks and sometimes eat them as a replacement to his vials when running out of paint. They're not as effective, but it helps to function well and long enough to be able to refill the vials!! he keeps them in a bag which.... yeah i forgot to add to the ref. so ig it's an optional design detail lol ]
#corv's draconink#draconink#corv rambles about something#corv gets an ask#[ * sorry i took so long to answer ]#[ * draconink doesn't have that much lore. they just exist to be silly and dragon ]#[ * But maybe i'll get ideas........ ]#[ * ......smth smth au hoard?????????? ]#[ * AUS ARE SHINY OBJECTS ]#[ * MOSTLY GOLD BCS. AU IS PERIODIC TABLE SYMBOL FOR GOLD ]#[ * WOULD THAT MAKE THE DOODLESPHERE SOME KINDA CAVE??? I GUESS BIG CAVE DECORATED WITH THE GOLD ITEMS WHICH REPRESENT AUS ]#[ * HE PROTECTS THE HOARD AND BRINGS BOTH AID AND COMFORT TO TRAVELING ARTISTS N SUCH MAYBE ]#[ * Draconink totally would also have a nest ]#[ * steals soft stuff specifically for it ]#[ * he's small for a dragon but i guess somewhat large for you humans so that's a lot of blankets and pillows to “”“borrow”“” ]#[ * For Draconink and other hypothetical dragon/other mythical creatures i may make i won't worry so much about things making sense n stuff#[ * Just. whimsy ]
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#idk why I’m putting this in tags instead of an actual post#this is a postitive thing#anyway#i’ve been ‘working out’ (in quotations bc it’s very small and short but it’s still exercise!)#and i’m actually seeing results??#I’m mostly working on my upper body/arms bc of vanity reasons#anyway my biceps and my back look. dare I say. kinda hot.#and I can do like ten more consecutive push-ups than when I started!#which again isn’t a lot but it’s progress and I’m proud#anyway I gotta work on my cardio for actual health reasons not vanity ones#It’s just still kinda really hard to get out of the house#I wanna start doing the uphill trail near my house again but it’s hard to motivate myself alone#and like my dad would go with me but he makes a lot of ‘jokes’ about my health and fitness level that are actually kinda hurtful#he made one of those in front of the friend I did it with a couple weeks ago#and it didn’t ruin my sense of accomplishment but it also definitely didn’t feel great#I know he doesn’t mean anything by it but like. I kinda wish he could just be supportive or even normal about it.#this got off topic#I’m happy for myself and feeling good in my body#I’ve got a ways to go but I’ve given myself a really solid start#personal#fitness
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my mom doesn’t think im autistic and then i write shit like, “yeah i look for patterns in my life but for some reason socializing and people never fit? why cant i apply other knowledge to being a person with other people”
#and ik its not social anxiety bc this is *systematic*#im socially anxious because i genuinely do not know if what i say and do will be well received#idk How i ignored the judgement when i was a kid or remember really if there was any#i mean. like i know of some… and those things have been pretty much edited out of my personality#im slowly getting some of that back i think#unless this is a totally average thought and experience?#like. oh i realized that actually making small mistakes when playing music is not the end of the world#so then why does it feel a hell of a lot like social setting vibes can change at the drop of a pin#maybe it is just anxiety! maybe i am truly just scared of judgement#im definitely a perfectionist so it would make some amount of sense#but then like theres still the real true factual experiences ive had when i *knew* being myself would have been completely rejected#in spaces that are not predominantly queer/nuerodivergant#so i dont know if ive just grown accustom to like. infodumping and stimming as being super normal and almost expected#and that the ‘real world’ isnt like that#in which case i suppose it would be a learned thing#so who tf am i then#brb gonna have an existential crisis real quick#rambles#winter stfu
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#its like every now and again i am brought down by a terrible loneliness and am forced to remind myself i have in fact more or less#been alone in some sense of the word for more than a few years now theres been such incredible lengths of my lived adulthood where ive#been to deal with everything on my plate entirely by myself for the most part. not to say that i have been like Alone ive kept busy and all#but sometimes i have to remind myself its been years and years since ive had what i would call even some kind of community. and its a#necessary pain to reflect that That is probably why routinely i am completely leveled by some loneliness. this goes of course without sayin#a lot of this is circumstance why i would maybe end up so alone but the reality is im often the only one who gets me im often the only ear#can open up to im often the only one there to catch myself slipping the only one there to take care of myself when im hurting or sick or#tired. and its not that i dont ask for help. something something circumstance where i dont get it from other people#hardly a thing worth stopping myself over but the moments where i have to pick myself up by my own bootstraps for the nth time completely i#the dark by myself its hard not to feel small. looked past. even though im really doing quite okay all things considered. still quite#unfortunately alone and equally isolated and drained of any energy to change this or get out and find community (if i had the space and#the time and the money of course dont forget about the money)#and at the deepest reaches of this feeling i can only see cosmically that this is what im supposed to be doing. to some strange effect that#I Am at least on the right path as tucked away small and hidden and invisible as this may make me feel. bc its never a hard contrast to mak#that if i did have the ability to truly embrace and make a change in that regard would i? would i do it right? could i keep it? where would#that take me? and of course the answer is in this state id just fumble it. and be right back here#when do i get to have that fire in my hands unequivocally where i may finally furiously rid myself of this isolation this loneliness either#forever or long enough to make the change from this lack of connection and community i truly have?
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omg also im soo mad i e been listening to rhis worldbuilding podcast at work and it was giving me lots of ideas but i had to turn it off bc i took like..an hour on a room bc i was so focused on jt and my beautiful world.. and i forgot all the ideas i had 😭😭 all i can remember is my fairy thing and that isnt even a from today thoufht
#bc bssicallyyy the way magic works is every living thing produces Some magic. like its legit produced by an organ in all lviing things. and#how Much you produce is like. it can be influenced by a lot of factors genetics etc but everybody produces some. so thats all well and good#and the fairies technically dont produce lke. more magic rhan humans yk. kts actually Very similar levels BUT bc theyre so small that amt#of magic is proportionally a LOT. thats why fairies glow is bc they have so much magic (magic glows and in humans who#have a lot of magic they also tend to glow around their chest :] omg and alsooo some of the ways magic can be channeled is likee. through#your hands or your voice theres rly so many basically. and its very versatile but its likee#so im stoll working on the rules for it but basically the idea of it is like. it can be used as a form of energy and also as temporary#form of matter if that makes sense ?? idk how to explain kt)#But anyways so the fairies theg r soo little but have sooo much magic proportionally. so fhey can '#fly' with it (not rly flying rly its more like making little platforms to walk on in the air... this parts jnspired by kekkaishi cant even#lie to you i thjnk its awesome when they do that.) so ya#and technically a human could do the sane thing but the platform would be bigger and bearing more weight so it wouldnt rly be as like.#practical.. bc 1 human sized platform would be like..1000 fairy skzed platforms LOL. yk. but yeah so yeah#n then on occasion fairies are born with very low amts of magic (this happens with all creatures everybody Has magic but some ppl have so#little that rhey cant do much with jt) n these 'fairies' +#(theyre usually called something else but they r fairies. ive been calling them borrowers in my head but thats copyrighted skull) usually#cant live in fairy cities bc. well. fairy cities r very oriented around being able.to use magic to navigate them. so in antiquity the#borrower fairies would form sort of like. Underlayer cities where youd have the main fairy city up in the trees and then on the ground#would be the borrower city. but that started getting dangerous especially when tthe bigger ppl started expanding their territories and#stuff. so borrower fairies ended up forming Way more secretive communities either underground or like. oftentimes there will be entire#borrower communities in a house yk. and u see where my jnspo is comjng from yes i love the borrowers yes i watched arrietty a few weeks ago#but yeah :] the borrowers are wayyy more secretive bc they cant defend themselves against the big folk the way the magical fairies can yk.#so fairies are Known (though not often encountered bc of how defensive they are of their cities)#to humans but borrowers are WAYYY less frequently seen bc they go out.of their way not to.#theres ALSO. so. as mentioned magic is produced by an organ. normally if anything happens to that organ youre like. dead. yk. you cant rly#live without it. However fairies have figured out a way to majorly decrease your magic levels while keepjng you alive#like 50 percent kf the tjme it works the rest they just die. its a surgicql procedure basically and its Intensely guarded#as in 1-2 ppl know how to do it at any given time and if anybody else fjnds out theyre killed immediately. the only ppl who know it Exists#r like. theee highest ranking fairies in existence. its used as a punishment for the most 'heinous' crimes. aka the ones the fairy monarch#dislikes the most -_-. its not a Technical exile but like. yes it is..yk. since as i said you rly cant navigate a fairy city if you dont.
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okay i Finally feel like i have the time and energy to get back to genshin
it’s a small thing early on in the tcg grand prix thing but i thought it was interesting
so when kaeya greets charlotte, he says “enchantée”
which is initially in line with him being a smooth talking kind of guy
but since charlotte is from fontaine, which is mostly based on france, he’s probably just greeting her in her national language, which is really thoughtful and respectful of him
i just thought that was neat :0
#genshin impact#french interacting with english is difficult to figure out bc so many french words are loaned into english#so like it's hard to pinpoint whether they're actually trying to do a french thing specifically or if it's just coincidence#bc you Can say that as a fully english person and no one would really bat an eye. other than thinking you're kinda stuffy and pompous#there is something to be said that most of the regional language stuff is translated into english in genshin unless its like a title or nam#like no one says greetings in their national language elsewhere - any change in greeting or any idioms are still in english/common#so this is probably just a matter of coincidence that felt in-character for kaeya and charlotte happened to be from anime france#i still think it's cool >:3#cuz im a language nerd and i like that genshin plays with language a lot#edit now that i've gone to liyue...and finished the rest in general dkdhdj#charlotte being called 'mademoiselle' makes sense too since its more respect toward her#but it is also more of a title. though i can't think of another region that does a thing like that#it is weird now that i think about it how inconsistently genshin sprinkles in foreign honorifics#like again. french is part of english. we're used to it#and the few times they use things like 'sama' and 'sensei' in inazuma/japanese its only not weird bc we're all weebs here#liyue i can somewhat understand because we don't know anything about chinese culture and language in eng#but mondstadt is german. which is the other big part of english. you would think there would be more language representation#other than fischl and venti's lyre and a couple other small things there really isn't much#it's just baseline fantasy land mostly in english#its not like people in mondstadt go around calling each other by Herr and Frau. or anyone in inazuma using -san or -chan even#like if those ever do happen. its an edge case. it isn't strict. so i wonder if fontaine is more strict in its etiquette#anyway. rambled for a good bit#point being i think it's weird but not unwarranted that french is being used more compared to other languages in everyday use here
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Lord give me energy today eueueue
#dora daily#sm things piling up but my brain says NO#I can’t even do basic things 😭#it’s genuinely so hard to talk to others#aaaaaaah#the reason is bc I’ve forced myself into contentment with the prospect of being alone cause there’s just so much I can do that would bring#me joy in solitude but#that’s what I’ve always been doing part of the reason I talk a lot is bc that’s how I am in my head#like things firing at 100miles per second bc that’s how I used to keep myself entertained when I was younger#when everyone would have buddies and I wouldn’t#and it works now bc everyone takes ten business days to reply that it’s completely made me genuinely grossed out of social interaction#but I can’t live in La La land forever#pls if only kaveh existed I wouldn’t need another means of socialisation eueeuue#everyone is so impossible to understand; coming from a girl who has always been called utterly INSANE for how hard she hyper focuses on#small cues and signals and detecting discomfort and whatnot. I turn my brain off for one second and yet again the same shit happens it’s so#unfair that everyone can be relaxed and I ought to be on high alert 24/7#I also find it hilarious and pathetic when people pretend to be people smart but they’re really not … it’s genuinely embarrassing#like bitch when you get to my level then we will talk istg …#Istg if this is the autism thing everyone’s been telling me im screwed cause#I don’t want yet another issue#but it’d make sense like how people seem to draw away despite there being nothing wrong with me#how people tend to agree with everything someone else says but the moment I do it it’s heinous#how I have physically had to learn social cues and trial and error#with the errors altering my brain chemistry#that unwavering sense of justice that makes me so very uncomfortable if not fulfilled that I shut up about so I can actually hold down#friends. God knows how every interaction I have with a person is so orchestrated so almost artificial and ‘yes-man’ core that I don’t even#believe said person likes ME bc idek who I am and bc if I don’t agree w#everything no matter how many times someone says I won’t get mad …. trust me they do they’re all liars and manipulators even if they don’t#intend to#the scary fascinations I’ve had when younger
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im looking forward to next session of dnd in two weeks for lots of reasons but also because i think telling Euphemia that i had a vision that i killed her boss in a very like, personal and up close manner will go extremely well for me
#naielle: yeah so i had this vision and talked to my patron about it-#euphemia: what was the vision?#naielle: uhhhh a thing that happened but also didnt but was maybe supposed to? its sort of unclear. and my patron said-#euphemia: but what were you shown?#naielle: oh. yknow. a room. theres a handful of other people. ive got a weird sword i dont recognise. and im uh#*small voice* im stabbing your boss#AND from there we can only imagine how euphemia reacts. best case she accepts naielles UTTER panic as genuine#and that this isnt an idiot revealing her assassination plan. worst case naielles gonna perform a high speed dimension door#and probably fail because the compound is sort of Fucked but i kind of hope Big A upstairs gives her a hand#like goes 'oh shit euphemia is about to murder my girlie hang on' and supercharges the dimension door to get past wards#listen ive thought a lot about this and the conversation does hinge on a preceding convo with her patron#which im gonna demand the chance to get bc naielle Would do it#but afaict the only way this doesnt happen is if euphemia makes herself unavailable#in which case naielle gets to tell the vision thing to the man she murdered in it :)#other way it doesnt happen is if the message from marius thing stops naielle from getting around to it lmaoooo#the fun bit about killing her boss is she was present for that. he wasnt her boss when that happened but she was there#she doesnt REMEMBER that and neither does Naielle because her sense of other people in the scene is minimal#but this timeline euphemia i feel like is not gonna be enthused by this like. whole thing
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