#i don’t think they will actually have any interest in publishing mine bc despite it being IN MY OPINION an important issue

[lesbianlenas]

had a meeting w my faculty advisor for the paper i keep complaining abt writing & i was like my paper is so bad in my head bc if u (ok at this point i accidentally hit the music thing & it came up w songs i was like why these songs? and so i clicked it multiple times & every single time it came up w all different songs except millions by gerard way which was there every time a song i have never even linked to on here so what is THAT supposed to mean like clearly it knows enough to put songs that i have listened to before but not enough to put songs ive actually linked. confused at its knowledge. maybe it doesn’t actually know that much bc it’s only put up one other song i also know & then songs by some artists ive listened to but most of the stuff i don’t know. so where is it getting it from? what are the odds it would put up 2 songs i know out of the millions of songs in existence?) have been reading my posts i have been basically writing the bare minimum in torturous 12 hr sessions on the day it is due so i was like this man is abt to bash my paper to my face 😭 so LITERALLY he says to me i think once you add more depth to this paper it will be a great paper that should be published and also you’re a great writer by the way i was like “oh. thanks.” LMFAO 😭 literally was so shocked that he said that i was just like “ok” abt it 😭 however actually having the paper published is my worst nightmare so maybe i should make it bad on purpose.

[aeligsido]

🌗 💕 🌍 🎤 for the ask <3 <3

THANK U SO MUCH FOR THE ASK!

🌗 fluff or angst?

why it is always fluff or angst but never hurt/comfort????? i want my hurt/comfort guys that's all i ask,

(angst)

💕 favorite ship to write?

iorhfui honestly i don't think I have a favorite ship to write?? like, in general i like writing ship and i find them all interesting to write odifh it depends how much i like this particular ship i guess????

🌍fave type of au to write?

uuuuuh... any au? no but really, they all can be interesting as long as i have the ideas to go with it odfih

BUT in general i like modern au/no capes au (depending on the fandom), i also like fantasy au veeery much. I recently discovered my love for some fairy tales au (wait, not so recently actually now that i think about that)... like all of that is so much fun to write. AND!!! the worldbuilding!!! i love the worldbuilding!!

so, yeah. i'm staying with these one!

... except if canon divergence works..... i do like writing about it....

🎤fave line in a fic you wrote?

oh seriously i had to go find a fic and a line odufhu

SINCE IT'S LIKE THAT HERE I'LL PUT MORE THAN ONE

“So,” said Ashley, swallowing hardly on her breath. “You have two moms, and a dad. It's nice.” Not what she expected, but not unheard of.

“Five,” corrected Lian.

“... Five?”

“Yes. Five dads.”

I just really like this one bc it's very funny to me. It's from one of my WIP called "titans' babies vs the world", and in this one you have Lian talking about her parents lmao. Talking about that, here's Bobby talking about their parents as well:

“Yeah. The one who was with dad before, the dad who's Mar'i's dad dad and kind of mom's twin – or, well, they tell everyone they are even if they aren't really, I don't know, it's complicated – and now mom is with mom and they love each other very much. Like dad love mom and mom but in another way, you know?”

If it's extra confusing, it's the point LMAO. I just love these kids so much.

Stephanie flourishes on the road, cheeks reds from the wind and smiling, hands calloused under the work, her bag still light on her hips. This curse is turning into a blessing, even if she doesn’t say it out loud, even if she barely allow herself the thought.

But, for the first time since her mother’s death and what she feels is forever, Stephanie is truly happy.

This one is from another WIP!! A Fairy Tale AU with Steph as the main character :D idk, i just really like the way it flows, maybe it's just me lmao

Dick led the way toward the gardens, keeping Kori’s hand in his. The moon reflected on Kori’s hair in a bright, eerie way. He loved it.

It wasn’t too warm outside despite the summer night; a light breeze was creeping around and chilling the air in a pleasant way. The stars were shining.

Dick still had a ring in his pocket.

listen i'm a romantic at heart... i just really like this part. AND YES it's also for another one of my WIP. Well technically not WIP since it's finished but on its way to be betaed lmao

The last time Tim had seen him was years ago, when Jason was still Robin and Tim a stalker following the Batman and his allies. In his death, he somehow managed to grow up to be tall and bulky, towering close to Bruce’s height - and weight. All in all, Jason was terrifying, extremely competent, and there was no way for Tim to beat him in a fight.

After all, Tim knew that fighting wasn’t his strong suit, despite - or in spite - of all the training he had been put through. But, well, everyone said he had one thing for himself, and it was his brain. Or making wonderful plans on the spot, just like Kon told him two hours ago during their tag game. (That they won, for the record.)

Now was the perfect time to discover if Tim Drake could outsmart Jason Todd.

i just love it because it screams that Tim is about to do something very stupid lmao. AND!! this one is actually from a published fic, aka Checkmate :fingerguns:

“Because you’re Robin.” [...] “And Robin was me. My family colors. My name. I created it to honor my family - and by putting on this costume, you became a part of my family. You became mine, Jase. Not Bruce’s. Not anyone else’s. And you still are, will always be. Robins are a family, and Bruce has no say in that.���

Jason - Jason’s heart was breaking and healing at the same time, full of tiny shards of glass and soft bandages.

[...]

Jason never realized the consequences of being Robin, but this - being part of Dick’s family - was probably the best of all. It was worth it - worth everything else.

listen i'm extremely emotional about Jason and Dick and especially this fic. Anyway, it's from A Nest of Love and Robins, this one is posted too!

Wally missed it, sometimes. Missed the thrill of being Kid Flash, of being a Titan, of fighting and having movie nights with his best friends. When he looked at Bart, at Conner, at Cassie, at Cissie, at Tim – Wally wondered whose legacy they're carrying on. Of course, people automatically thought it was the Justice League's ; but Wally watched them and remembered and thought, 'Maybe they got it from us, maybe they're our legacy'. And that was a weird thought – because the Titans had never been about having a legacy or being one, but always been about being a group of friends and becoming a family in between two punches and a slice of pizza.

this one make me emotional too. I honestly don't have anything better to say, i just... really love the whole things. It comes from Watch Your Past!

Okay now last one but i'm really in love with this whole fic and yes i know i'm the one who wrote it and????

But- It was nice, too, in it's own way. They grew up together, faced death and life together. They knew each other so much they couldn't really hide anything, and sometimes it felt like they were an extension of his own soul.

He had thought, once upon a time, that maybe he was a tiny bit in love with his best friends. He loved them more than anything, after all; that didn't really change, he just added more people to this category. Their children. His siblings.

It hadn't been true, though – not entirely. Because if his interest in them wasn't romantic, it didn't mean he couldn't be in love with them. There are a lot of ways to be in love with people. Maybe it was just another one.

It didn't really matter, in the end, as long as they could stay together – in this life and the next.

[...]

They laughed, loud and clear – like all those years ago in Titans Tower or in the middle of a fight or standing proud against their enemies, mentors, whoever would try to go against them. They laughed, freely and with not a care for the world around them, like they still owned it after all these years. They laughed like they were young and innocent, ancient and tired, alive and free.

They laughed, loud and clear, in the same heartbeat and soul.

[...]

(Maybe they were all a little tiny bit in love, in the end.)

idk it's kind of poetic and full of feelz for me, so, yeah. It's from the fic home is where the heart settle, about the Fab Five!

AND THAT'S IT. Thanks again for the ask, ask list here!

[iamanartichoke]

It’s almost 4am, I can’t sleep because of Reasons, and my brain isn’t functioning enough to be productive, so I’m just gonna fill out this writing meme. So, yeah, if you’re interested in some very long, self-indulgent writing babble, keep reading, and if you’re on mobile, I’m sorry the cut doesn’t work. 

1. What are your favourite genres and/or styles to write in?

Contemporary lit has always been my thing. I was never really into reading or writing much action/adventure or fantasy, which is weird because I was very into shows like Buffy the Vampire Slayer and LOST - but, I was mostly into those shows for the very rich character dynamics and developments, so. Anyway, Sanctuary is the first thing I’ve written in my life that isn’t in the contemporary, real-world genre and I’m doing okay with it, but I do sometimes get a little paranoid that it’s too character focused with not enough action/comic-genre stuff going on. This is really stepping outside of the box for me, to be honest. 

(I just remembered that I did write some Batman fanfic when I was maybe 16  or so, but I’m not sure it counts bc it was terrible and I pretty much just wrote  a Buffy-esque character to be Batman’s sappy love interest. God, how embarrassing.) 

2. What was the last writing project you finished and felt successful with?

Okay, so, when I was finishing grad school, I had to complete a “publishable” thesis project and mine is/was this collection of linked short stories that I spent probably a good year and a half (including my thesis semester) working on. Technically, I did finish it enough that it passed the graduation requirements, and I have been chipping away at it on and off since then, but after I graduated, I just ... stopped writing, in general. Depression and real life are a shitty combination for writers with very little internal motivation. But, despite that, this collection holds a very dear place in my heart. There are seven stories total, all young adult, coming-of-age themed, and they’re linked by character in that they all take place in a small town and the characters from each story sort of know each other in passing, as happens in a small town. There’s room for ten stories, because it’s a nice, even number. I love all of the characters and I think it could be something really great and could be published successfully - just, it needs a lot more work to get to that point. Eventually it will. Anyway, yes, that’s my last “finished” writing project and I do feel a modicum of success toward it, for what it’s worth. 

3. If you have a WiP how do you feel it’s going? What stage are you in?

I am actually 85% pleased with how Sanctuary is going. I started writing the fic without any real idea of what I wanted to do with it or where it would go - I was just having a lot of Loki feels during a difficult time in my life. Prior to this, I would handle my Character Feels by indulging in a lot of watches and re-watches and occasionally making music videos and sometimes fan art (graphics, I can’t draw for shit), but these methods just weren’t cutting it this time ... and hence, fic was born. 

It’s not a perfect story, of course - there are some inconsistencies and errors and the writing can always be more polished, but I’m just happy that I’ve stuck with it for this long and allowed it to develop the way that it has. I’m able to flex my writing muscles and get back into the practice of it while having fun at the same time. The story is four chapters away from completion, but I have plans for a sequel and also a couple of one-shots from Thor’s POV that I want to play around with. Overall, I’m pretty pleased with where I am in my little fic-verse right now. 

When it comes to original fiction, aside from the aforementioned short story collection, I am in the plotting stages of a novel involving reincarnation, because I am tropey trash, but it has potential. So, there’s that. 

4. What are your favourite places to write?

I actually feel like I write more productively when I am away from my apartment, which is a conundrum because I pretty much only leave my apartment to go to work or, like, the grocery store. I have a job that allows me to be at a computer for most of the day, so when I’m not busy, I like to write at work. I weirdly feel more productive and clear-headed at desktop computers, but I don’t have one of my own, so when I’m not at work or at the library, I write on my laptop in places like Barnes and Noble or laying in bed like a lazy bum. I do have a desk at home, but it is woefully neglected, I’m sad to say. 

5. Do you prefer to write with long hand or type? Or some other method?

9 times out of 10, I type. However, when I am struggling particularly hard with writer’s block, I’ll write long hand because, for whatever reason, switching methods jolts my brain a little bit and gets the juices flowing again. I wrote the entirety of the Kree battle and Val/Loki in the infirmary (I forget what chapter that was) long hand, among other scenes. 

6. Do you remember your first character? If so can we meet them?

My childhood is filled to the brim with embarrassing fiction. I don’t remember my first character, to be honest - I remember being in fourth grade and writing some kind of story for Young Author’s Day at school, and that’s the first thing I remember even writing, but I couldn’t tell you what the story was or who the characters were to save my life. When I was in sixth grade, I discovered S.E. Hinton’s books, and from that point on, I spiraled down into the genre of coming-of-age, tortured, sad protagonists (God, Ponyboy Curtis was my first spirit animal, talk about tragic) and I’ve never quite looked back. 

7. Where do you get your inspiration?

Where don’t I get my inspiration, would be a better question. Music is a big inspiration - sometimes I’ll hear a lyric that I want to put to a story, or a song will have a storyline that I like and that’ll get the creative juices flowing. I do get some inspiration from real life, but I shy away from writing anything too closely related to my own life - things that I pull from my life are incredibly fictionalized, but the roots are sometimes there, if that makes sense. Movies and TV shows, of course, especially with character types that I’m drawn to. Other people’s literature is a big inspiration, too. Idk, I think inspiration just comes from everywhere. Everyone and everything has a story that can be told. 

8. Do you outline a story before writing it, or does it all live in your head until the first draft gets put down?

I’m kind of 75/25 on this - 75% lives in my head and 25% is outlined, but the outline is always kind of a loose guideline that may end up completely changing by the time the words are actually on the page. I mostly use outlines to put things down tangibly when they get too cluttered in my head and I start confusing myself. I also use outlines to keep track of plot threads, to try to keep things consistent. For Sanctuary, my outline is a mixture of what I want to accomplish in each chapter and an extensive notes section on various canon I’m using, so that I can keep things straight. 

9. Where do you go/ What do you do when you’re feeling stuck?

Writing long-hand is a thing I already talked about. Other things I find helpful: going for a long drive to just sort of let myself zone out and think about the story without the pressure of sitting at the computer, listening to music ... sometimes I just put the story away completely and let it sit while I do/focus on other things, and I come back to it refreshed and ready to try again. 

10. What got you starting writing/doing Art? (Because I always love origin stories)

I don’t know - writing has just always been a part of who I am. The urge to write was something that came very naturally to me. I’m sure being a voracious reader was part of it, too - I grew up reading books like there was no tomorrow, and I was a very introverted, shy child, so I read more than I talked to people, and that just sort of naturally translated into writing stories of my own. I’ve never been a people-person in that I don’t like interacting with people much (in real life, anyway) but I like to examine and think about how people work, and it’s a strange thing but so it goes. But yeah - there’s no real “origin story” with me, just a long history of being a reclusive nerd. 

I guess this is a tagging meme but I wasn’t tagged, so if anyone out there wants to do it, feel free, I’d love to read other people’s responses if you feel like sharing them. :) 

[heylabodega]

Books Read, Age 26

Previously: 25, 24, 23, 22, 21, 20, 19, 18 (holy shit)

Enigma Variations–Aciman I talked to Robbie about this one a bunch bc he’s always looking for good novels about gay people by gay people and I thought this might be that but this is…not that. It had promise and the first section is really kind of lovely but it veers off and just…I don’t know, mileage will vary, but it didn’t feel True to me. idk idk either like he misunderstands love and sexuality or I do and it honestly could more than likely be me.

A Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy–Adams One of those books I had just always kinda pretended I read. I mean not that people like frequently check to make sure I’ve read AHGttG but just like in my mind whenever it was mentioned I checked it off. You know the dealio you don’t need my thoughts on it (as opposed to most things, on which you definitely do).

All Grown Up–Attenberg My favorite of the Attenberg novels I’ve read. Of particular use and relevance to me, an aging single woman and unlikeable protagonist. I enjoyed this very much, it was sharp and warm and mean and tender.

Queen of the Night–Chee Hmm. Ok. I felt for most of this book that it like…thought it was a different, more important book than it actually was? It is overwritten–both in prose style and in that it could have been at least 100 pages shorter–and you know how sometimes you read a book with a female protagonist and you’re like ‘I can’t believe a man wrote this!’? Yeah this isn’t that. But the ending line is really good? idk. Someone else read it and tell me your thoughts.

Too Much and Not the Mood–Chew-Bose First of all, excellent title. These essays reminded me, and I mean in this in the lease self-important way possible, of my own writing. Just in that way where writing doesn’t have to be traditionally literarily linear. These essays are good and filled with the kind of sentences that make you know the writer loves words, you can feel her placing them carefully with the satisfying click of scrabble tiles, sliding them into the right order.

Who Killed Roger Ackroyd–Christie Typical Agatha novel and very good. I can’t tell you any more without spoiling it.

Murder in Retrospect–Christie This is one of my fave Christie’s. It was dark and smart and pithy.

Rule Britannia–Du Maurier I found this in a used bookstore in Portland, Maine, just after the Brexit vote. She wrote it in like the 70s and it’s speculative fiction based on if the UK left the EU and formed a union with the United States. It’s kind of really good but it also ends kind of abruptly, like maybe it could have been the first of a trilogy or something.

Plum Bun–Fauset This was my favorite book from my Harlem Renaissance class. I wrote my term paper on it. I love this book. I want to write it as a screenplay and someone to make it into a movie and I want Troian Bellesario to play the lead.

A Coney Island of the Mind–Ferlinghetti A book of (I think?) beat poetry that I found in a used bookstore in Saugherties at Thanksgiving. I love these poems, especially one called “The World is a Beautiful Place” which I read out loud to Robbie one night while we were walking between bars in the snow at like midnight.

Wishful Drinking–Fisher Carrie Fisher is one of those people whose very existence makes me feel braver and weirder and funnier. She’s a truly good soul and I don’t have anything else to say except that you should read this and also that you should Postcards From the Edge first it’s better.

Difficult Women–Gay I prefer Roxane Gay’s fiction to her nonfiction and these are very good, very interesting stories full of sadness and love.

The Autobiography of Malcolm X (as told to Alex Haley) I have never had so many people approach me while reading a book in public as this one. It is, unsurprisingly, an extremely compelling and upsetting book. But I was very surprised by it. I’m not sure quite what I expected from it, but it wasn’t what it was. I think about this book at least twice a week. I think everyone should read it and I think they’ll all enjoy it.

How To Be  A Person In the World–Havrilesky I think maybe Ask Polly columns are better in smaller doses than a whole book, but nevertheless, for better or for worse, she shaped a great deal of my early-twenties self esteem and the essays translate to the page much better than a lot of internet writing I’ve read. 

Girl on the Train–Hawkins This felt…cheap somehow. Like I got really into it and then felt like I’d been cheated or fooled because it’s truly not very good.

Bright Lines–Islam This is a fascinating book. It’s the most Brooklyn summery, felt the most like my Brooklyn summers despite describing a Bengali Muslim family and smoking weed and other experiences that are not specifically mine. I’d recommend it. Highly.

Intimations–Kleeman Man, I’ve recommended this book of short stories to so many people. It’s weird and interesting and it does something I think is hard, which is write surreal stories where the stakes still feel real, if that makes sense. She came and spoke to our class and she told an interesting question to ask of short stories which was, “what are the satisfactions of this story?” and all of these are satisfying and visceral. There’s one long one in the middle that I skipped and you can too, I give you permission.

A Swiftly Tilting Planet–L'Engle Hey, um, you know what’s p upsetting to read? A plot where a crazy dictator is gonna drop a nuclear bomb and start the end of the world (this isn’t a spoiler it’s introduced like five pages in). 

A Wind in the Door–L'Engle This was not as good as A Wrinkle in Time–what is–but it was a bright easy read, her books are so–loving, I guess. Good if you need a little palate cleanser.

Passing–Larsen We read a LOT of books in my Harlem Renaissance course. This a very good, short novel about, well, guess. It’s like a painting somehow, like a 20th century painting.

Sister Outsider–Lorde  I have taken none women’s studies courses so this was a pretty important text I had never read. It is very Good and everyone should read it if they have not already.

Cruel Shoes–Martin I LOVE Steve Martin and still on a few of these I was like “I don’t know, Steve.” But many others (they’re very short stories) are funny or clever or great.

Bright Lights, Big City–McInerney ughhhhhhh a book that is entirely written in second person and is about how womens’ existences and deaths have like ~made a man feel~ but it’s a short quick read and–I am E X T R E M E L Y reluctant to admit–the end is a really good image that did lowkey make me cry but also fuck this book

The Hopeful–O'Neill This I didn’t like much, in a way that I thought it needed a stronger editor and I want Eleanor or Robbie or someone I trust to read it to tell me if I’m wrong.

The Bed Moved–Schiff Weird and good little stories. I don’t think about them often, but they were elegant and sharp as I read them.

Eligible–Sittenfield It’s nice that they’re publishing Modern AU Pride and Prejudice fanfic now in a bound book. This was enjoyable tho tbh not the best Modern AU Pride and Prejudice fanfic I, a cool and chill person, have read in my life.

Swing Time–Smith I think this is my fave of the Zadie Smith books I’ve read. I wasn’t sure by the end quite what the point of it was, but I guess also what’s the point of anything? idk this is a useless description of a book. It was immersive and interesting but I’ve also not told anyone “you *have* to read this you’ll love it.” We did go see her read from it and in person she is enchanting.

The New Woman–Sochen Nonfiction about what I think we’d call first-wave feminism? It was really fascinating about an era I knew nothing about but also had some, um, glaring omissions ahem any mention of race whatsoever.

Action. A Book About Sex–Spiegel Ok look yes fine I am an adult sexually active woman who still reads books about sex whatEVER. I missed sex-ed and I also like to hear, in a non-prurient (or sometimes prurient w/e) way what other people are up to, sex-wise. I mean there’s no real like advice about sex in the world, I think, except that everything consensual and fun is fine, but I think it’s important to occasionally remind yourself of that. This was a good book.

Missing, Presumed–Steiner A crime book that I neither loved nor hated and generally enjoyed reading. Big enh.

The Girls From Corona Del Mar–Thorpe Robbie gave this to me for my birthday last year. A beach read with an edge, page-turner-y but sharp. Seems like it’s going to be a light read, but there’s a bite to it, a reminder of the cruel randomness of fate and of our inability to really know other people or ourselves. I loved this.

Cane–Toomer So this is an important text from the Harlem Renaissance and it’s kinda…never classified? It’s a series of related but not continuous short stories, as well as poetry, and little like plays? idk it’s very evocative and beautiful and dense and bears up to intense overreading. One of my favorite books I read for my Harlem Ren class.

The Blacker the Berry–Thurman Ok so Wallace Thurman apparently worried his whole life that his writing style was too journalistic and he maybe wasn’t…wrong. This is NOT a bad book and it’s well written and novelistic exCEPT when sometimes it feels pedagogical or expository. It’s a short, well constructed novel about colorism and worth checking out.

Killer–Walters Lovely and weird poems. I went to go follow the author on Twitter and discovered I already was. I love these.

The Underground Railroad–Whitehead An extremely. upsetting. book. Here’s the thing and I understand the presumption of my criticism of a book that won the national book award, but: if you’re going to make your conceit that the Underground Railroad is a real railroad, I think that you should do more with it. THAT SAID the rest of this is truly wonderful, somehow at once a page turner and viscerally upsetting.

Kiss Me Like a Stranger–Wilder I love Gene Wilder. I’d read Gilda Radnor’s memoir a couple years ago so part of this was sort of an interesting other side of the story. Anyways he seems like a genuinely strange, slightly neurotic, flawed but mostly warm and kind person.

[snorlaxlovesme]

7, 30, 41, 53 for the writer ask meme ^u^

7. Favorite author.

I’m p sure at this point I should just have it tattooed on my chest or something, lol, but if it wasn’t obvious my favorite author is Patrick Ness. He’s endlessly creative and I love the way he writes YA because, despite being a 40-something year-old man, I feel like he GETS teenagers in a way that a lot of other authors don’t. Like I’m only 22 years old and already I’m forgetting the feeling of being a stupid teen because I’m getting my Entitled Adult brain, but I think somewhere along the way Ness was able to keep his time as a teen intact enough to actually be able to encapsulate it properly. His characters don’t FEEL like characters a lot of the time, they feel like actual people because of the things they feel and the mistakes they make, and honestly I could write paragraphs and paragraphs about why Patrick Ness is a genius who understands the human condition better than all of us, but why read that when you can just read one of his books? (The Chaos Walking series is obviously my favorite, but The Rest of Us Just Live Here, Release, More Than This, and A Monster Calls are also amazing stand-alone books by him)

30. Favorite line you’ve ever written.

It’s amazing how I could write a 10,000 word essay about Patrick Ness’s writing, and when someone asks me what the best line I’VE written is, I can’t even begin to guess. I stg if I ever become a published writer I’m still gonna promote his writing more than mine.

I know that at SOME POINT I’ve written something really beautiful or really profound, but it’s late and I guess I’m feeling self-deprecating tonight bc I got nothing. So here’s a funny quote from Not Even a Cat Person

She’s quiet for a moment, so much so that Soul thinks he might have actually won this round, and that he’ll be able to go back to bed and sleep in until ten like he was destined to do. But then Maka finally responds, in her softest, most mournful voice.

“Please, Soul?”

And that’s how Soul ends up sitting in Maka’s bathroom at 4:11 am with a putrid-smelling cat in his arms and permanent frown on his face.

“You’re both dead to me, I hope you know that,” he says as he sits on Maka’s closed toilet seat.

Maka kisses him on the cheek, smiling brightly. “You’re the best, you know that?”

Manipulation at its finest.

41. How many stories do you work on at one time?

ALL THE STORIES

The amount of WIPs I have is frankly ridiculous and it would be marvelous to actually FINISH SOMETHING so I’d have less but alas, my spare time is really booked this summer. At any given time I’m probably working on at least 5 or 6 core fics, but I have a good 50 partially finished fics just lying around.

53. What does writing mean to you?

It’s been my Thing for as long as I can remember. Idk, especially when you’re young, it’s important to have a Thing, you know? A talent, a hobby, a sport, some kind of identifier that makes you YOU, and while my younger sister was the artist and my older sister was the runner, I was the Writer. In like third or fourth grade during my Enrichment Room class, we got to get together in small groups to make a children’s book. (Ours was about three pig brothers going on what they THOUGHT was a baking cruise but was actually a BACON cruise. They were almost eaten luckily escaped the ship and floated to a small island, met talking coconuts, and battled some jaguars) Anyways, during that assignment I realized how much FUN it was making up stories. All creative writing assignments after that became my favorite. By seventh grade I was just writing my own stories for fun on extra sheets of loose leaf. In eighth grade one of my teachers at my new school reprimanded me at a parent teacher conference for my essays sounding so informal and I remember my dad yelling back at her that I wrote how I spoke, and that’s what made my writing so special. It felt so GOOD to have my parents speak up for me like that, and to say that my style was something worth reading meant a lot to me.  It made my hobby that much more validating.

It was always a fun and creative outlet for me, and in high school it became what I wanted to DO as a career choice because I started reading a TON and realized with renewed interest just how impactful books can be.It made me realize that if I wanted to change the world I could do it through my writing. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to write the Great American Novel that I always dreamed of doing, but even if it’s just dicking around on the internet or scribbling out stories on loose leaf, my words mean something to people, which I guess is what I’ve always wanted.

[bekasyura]

ALL NUMBERS BC GO BIG OR GO HOME

Alright time to procrastinate by answering all these fanfic questions. They’re all under the cut

1. What was your first fic and could you stand to reread it today?

Based on the first one that’s on my surviving ffnet, it was dramione and no I could not stand reading it today for certain reasons I don’t want to discuss.

2. What’s your most recent fic and how far do you think you’ve come?

My most recent is The Sn Sets deals with grief and mourning after a canonical character death which is not something I write often. I think the emotions in it could have been better but I’m still satisfied with how it turned out. I think I’m at a place in my writing where I can attempt fics with that kind of emotional level.

3. In your opinion, what’s your best fic?

I have no opinion on this but my best friend and brother say “Covered in my Art”

4. In your opinion and without looking at any numbers, what’s your most popular fic?

Well, I only have 2 actual popular fics so I easily remember them. My most popular is my victuuri post-episode 7 kiss fic. I posted it just a couple of days after that episode aired so naturally it shot up.

5. Is there any fic that makes you super happy to reread and remember you wrote that?

I hardly reread my fics. I just can’t bring myself to do it. But one that I’m happy I wrote is 

6. Is there any fic that makes you super embarrassed to reread and remember you wrote that?

I get embarrassed reading them all. 

7. What’s the fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)?

I am looking forward to continuing my Living Legends series (YOI Tattoo Shop AU)

8. What’s the oldest (longest since last update) fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)?

My Star Wars Mummy AU. It’s been almost a year now and I still have all my notes and outline for it. I just need motivation.....

9. Have you ever written for a fandom without watching/reading/playing the source material?

Nope. I’m picky about what I write about and it has to be something I’m really into in order for me to watch it. 

10. Have you ever written for a fandom without reading other fanfic for it?

I’m picky for what I read as well so if I’m writing for it, I’m most likely reading it as well. 

11. Have you ever written a fic for a concept you know someone else has done before? How did it impact your writing process or feelings after posting?

Well there’s always writing popular tropes that everyone does but what comes to mind first is my Mummy AU. It was my idea first but someone got inspired by my editset I made of it and before I could post my first chapter of the story, someone else did it. They finished the fic before I could get my done and so it made me lose interest in continuing mine even if there were enough differences between ours. 

12. Have you ever written a fic and decided never to publish it? Why?

I’ll have a bunch of ideas I start and never finish for various reasons. But I pretty much publish everything I write.

13. What’s the biggest change between your style when you started in fandom and today?

Besides the fact that I don’t suck as much as I did 13 years ago? I’m still working on it but I feel like I’m able to set a scene better with description and narration has gotten better. 

14. What’s the biggest change in your taste between when you started in fandom and today?

Don’t know if this answers the question but I guess sticking to what I like and not conforming to the popular ideas of how certain characters/ships should be written. 

15. Have you ever purposefully written one fandom/fic idea over another because you knew it’d be more popular?

*stares at victuuri post episode 7 kiss fic* 

16. Have you ever stopped writing a fic/for a fandom because it wasn’t receiving enough attention?

That might be one reason I stopped writing Marvel fics

17. In your opinion, what’s your most overrated fic?

Honestly, “Closer”. Don’t get me wrong, I really like the fic even if I haven’t read it since I posted it, but I don’t know if it’s good for all the kits and kudos it’s gotten.

18. What’s your most underrated fic?

Any femslash or polyship fic or rarepair fic

19. If you had to pick one fic/scene/chapter of your work to describe your entire portfolio to a stranger, which would you pick?

Oh shit um....

20. Have/Would you ever rewrite a fic? If yes, would you take the original down?

I have considered it for two Merlin fics and I would do it in a heartbeat if I could but since they’re part of big bangs I can’t.

21. If someone starts kudosing and commenting your fics in a spree and has a few works of their own, would you go look through theirs?

Yeah I sometimes do

22. Has there ever been anyone who’s made you freak out because they read your work and followed/favorited/reviewed?

People would actually have to read my works first. I just get excited to have anyone reading my stuff tbh

23. What’s the nicest review you’ve ever gotten?

Most are on my “Not ‘He’” fic with readers sharing their experiences with me in relation to my fic. It was an amazing feeling to see that my fic connected with people on such a personal level like that.

24. What’s the meanest review you’ve ever gotten? Do you think the reviewer intended it?

I’ve gotten some kind of rude ones that were too pushy for updates but one that sticks out was just someone going off on their own rant about gender identities on the above mentioned fic. I don’t think they intended to come off as bad as it sounded but it wasn’t fun to read nonetheless. 

25. What constructive criticism, however well-meaning, always makes you feel bad when you see it in a review?

Mostly dealing with simple grammar mistakes because that’s stuff I should know but still always forget.

26. What aspect of your writing do you most enjoy to see praised?

Characterization because no one wants to read a fic where the characters are so ooc it takes them out of it. So being able to capture the character, especially in an AU, is the best thing to hear.

27. If you could only ever write crossovers or single-fandom fics ever again, which would you pick?

Single fandom fics. I don’t really do crossovers.

28. If you could only ever write for a single crossover or a single fandom again, which would you pick? 

Yuri!!! on Ice. I honestly have plenty of ideas to keep me going. 

29. Does the division of your writing across fandoms line up with your reading? What’s the biggest discrepancy?

((skipping))

30. Do you continue to write for a fandom after you’ve moved on or do you focus solely on the new one?

If you looked at my AO3 chronologically, you will see where I stop and start a new fandom. But there are some fandoms I will write at the same time. But there will be a focus on the new one. 

31. Who’s the one character you’ve just never managed to get perfectly right?

I feel like it’s Clint Barton despite how much I love him. I think it’s because of that I feel like I can’t write him well.

32. Who’s the one character who shines without you even trying?

I feel like I have Yuri Plisetsky down pretty well.

33. Is there any particular character whose scenes always wind up being longer/more frequent than you expected? Does the quality hold up?

It really depends on the fic and what I’m writing. Some characters may steal the scene but it usually turns out well. 

34. Was there any fic that you wrote that really surprised you in the fandom reaction? Was it just by the numbers or did they take it an entirely different way?

I was surprised to see so many people interested in “Covered in my Art”. AUs can be hard to sell and while it’s not the most popular tattoo shop au, it still got a better response than expected. 

35. Have you ever written a ship into a fic without meaning to?

I accidentally wrote past Yuuri/Phichit in my recent Phichit/Leo/Guang-Hong fic. I guess that hc is so set in my mind I can’t help but write it lol

36. Have you ever sincerely written a ship you do not support into a fic?

Yes but it was a commission fic so I kinda had to

37. Have you ever purposefully bashed a character/ship in a fic?

Regrettably in the past when I was younger and didn’t know better. But I have learned from that.

38. Have you ever purposefully written something you know your readers would find uncomfortable/would not enjoy? If yes, why?

Besides like injuries, not really. 

39. Do you consider yourself to have a readership?

I know I can count on like 3 people to read my fics and they’re the best peeps ever.

40. Do you feel like you put out enough content?

I do now after going so many years hardly writing anything. I still feel like I could do more.

41. If you cross-post your fics on multiple sites, do you have a favorite? Are there certain fics you would only post on certain site?

I mostly post on AO3 but I’m slowly adding my fics back to ffnet just to have them hosted in two places. I definitely prefer AO3 because I love the tagging system. 

42. How many views has your most popular fic gotten?

7k and I know it’ll be the only one

43. Your least popular?

less than 50

44. Do you follow/favorite/kudos/comment/review more stories than you have received?

Yes because I try to kudos and comment on anything I read that I liked. 

45. If you had to call yourself an author of a single genre (besides fanfic) what label would you give yourself?

Fluff. It’s a genre now.

46. Do you consider yourself a diverse author?

I would like to be but probably not. 

47. If someone you know in real life who isn’t involved in fandoms asked to read your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you recommend they read first?

No. While I have no problem telling people I write fanfic now, I don’t want them reading my writing. 

48. Does anyone you know from outside of fandom know you write fanfic? Are they involved in the same fandom too?

Not really. I don’t just walk around telling everyone I write it. It still has to be brought up and I feel comfortable telling them. 

49. Has anyone in your life ever read your fanfic just because you wrote it?

Yes because I make my best friend read it.

50. Has writing fanfic had a significant impact on your life? Would you say it’s entirely positive?

I’ve literally been writing fanfic for half my life now so it’s definitely had a significant impact on me. For the most part it has been positive. It’s given me a way to express myself and make my voice be heard. There have been times it stresses me out and I feel anxious about it but I wouldn’t stop writing because of that.

[catchcrows]

For the ask meme, whichever of the odd numbers that speak to you (or all of them lmfao)

“and lo, the odd numbers spoke unto them, saying, ‘prepared art thou, mortal fool, for the uncomfortable and intimate act of being known, knowing also that thou art utter shite at recalling any personal information on cue?’”

1. if someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to?

read: pet shop of horrors - matsuri akino

watch: yu yu hakusho

listen to: the crow & the beekeeper (both by dessa)

3. list your fandoms and one character from each that you identify with.

hxh: kurapika

ygo: bakura

the hobbit: gandalf

yyh: kurama and shizuru

5. do you think of yourself as a human being or a human doing? do you identify yourself by the things you do?

i had to double-back and make sure i understood the concept in general but tbh i’d say both. i define myself by my actions and the things that i do because i do them because they reflect and expand on the sort of person i want to be, even if that means that sometimes i’m not doing them for some greater-minded or zen reason but because i want acknowledgement or to be seen. idk i think separating either into a vacuum overlooks both how the world works whether we like it or not but also how humans as a species interact with it and each other

7. do you care about your ethnicity?

y’know, i used to care so much about it bc i was so desperate to find like, One Source Of Belonging? or no not even a place to belong but like, a concrete point that i could refer back to and be like “this is where i come from, these are my very clear-cut roots, i live in flagrant disregard of a lot of what being a member of this community and culture means bc some of it hasn’t updated with the times At All and now actively hurts people, but it’s mine”, especially since growing up i was always in-between communities and often joked about moving someplace i would always be identified as an outsider already bc that’s how i was gonna be perceived by my actual communities anyway (which is hilarious considering where i live now)

but lately i’m just.......idk, tired? maybe it’s just bc interrogating and coming to terms with and identifying with the stupid big number of ethnicities i belong to requires more nuance than i’m willing to put into it right now, or i’m just burnt out by the fact that there’s no way to be part of an ethnic group in an apolitical or amoral way (like, if i had a penny for every time as a jew i get harassed about israel like it’s my personal fault what a government in a country i’m not even a citizen of does to other people, regardless of my own opinions of how deep a well the israeli govt can fall down, i’d have enough pennies to walk right into another stereotype about jews). either way i try not to think about it very much at all lately and largely fail miserably at it lmao

9. are you an artist?

allegedly! i actually got an art scholarship in high school to go to uni but i don’t think i’ve Drawn™ anything in a very long time, and despite having a sketchbook that i literally just purchased in oxford burning a hole in my backpack, i am Afeard to start drawing again in earnest

11. describe your ideal day.

i don’t know about my Absolute Ideal Day bc that changes a lot, but today was pretty good and i enjoyed it and wish more days were like it. i went to the lab and got some stuff done, then went to the diner and ate my weight in sushi rice and now i’m sat at a coffee shop doing work (tbf i’m sat in a coffee shop bc i have a dreaded feeling that my landlady will be back home today, but also i just work a lot better when i’m not at home, so)

13. inside or outdoors?

both!

15. five most influential books over your lifetime.

idk if this means “of all books published in my lifetime so far, which do i think are the most influential in general” or “which five books have influenced me the most” so i’m gonna go with the latter bc it feels like it makes the most sense. also all of these are fiction in no particular order bc every nonfiction book i’ve read in the last 21 years has suddenly fled my mind

the girl who owned a city - o. t. nelson

the bartimaeus trilogy - jonathan stroud (yes i know there are four books now but ~back in my day~ it was a trilogy)

the orphan tales - catherynne valente

inkworld trilogy - cornelia funke

fire - kristin cashore

(this question was really interesting bc i was.......not quite expecting these books to be the ones that would be the answer to this question and when i started thinking about why they came to mind it got Very Existential fjdslkfa)

17. would you say your tumblr is a fair representation of the “real you”?

i......guess so? i mean i reblog stuff i’m interested in and i talk about my ridiculous shenanigans, so i suppose it’s fairly representative??

19. which Harry Potter house would you be in? or are you a muggle?

general friend consensus is that i’m either a slytherin or that mix thing that people started doing a while back? idk i’m not in the hp fandom but there was that test a while back and i was like a slytherclaw or something.

21. do you love easily?

i don’t think i do, but once i do love somebody i’m really at ease with telling them/showing it

23. how often would you want to see your family every year?

at the moment i see my mother and grandmother two or three times a year and bc of where i live and it’s like That’s Just How It Be™, especially considering we’re in contact literally every day via text/calling/etc. besides that, there’s a time limit when i do get home on how long they’re happy that i’m back and things are pleasant to us starting to get into the same old shit (or them starting the same old shit and me being too Tired™ to engage). that being said i have extended family that i don’t see for years at a time and i’m unbelievably alright with that

25. could you live as a hermit?

i absolutely could, but bc of the speed and surety with which i was like Hell Yeah i think it’s better for my mental health if i don’t fjdsklfa

27. do you feel like your outside appearance is a fair representation of the “real you”?

oh my god no

29. three songs that you connect with right now.

no plan - hozier

bremen - pigpen theatre co

grand canyon - the wind and the wave