#believe said person likes ME bc idek who I am and bc if I don’t agree w

[kavehater]

Lord give me energy today eueueue

[allamericansbitch]

I don't wanna sound like a hater but I've just been struggling sm lately bc I feel so disconnected to Taylor iykwim? Like she just seems unrecognizable and excuse the parasocialness but like idk I think I just need to separate from the fandom because I just feel she's so different in the past year and it makes me so sad. Everything just seems somewhat staged and inauthentic. I really loved her and even considered her as my favorite person and lifesaver at some point. But that beautiful, genuine, and talented person that i thought she was is not there anymore.I really saw myself in her at some point and really believed she was a gift to this world with the happiness she brought to people and how she was unapologetically herself, from the intimate fan interactions and public vulnerability and need for privacy she showed compared to other celebrities. Especially the fact that she's been trying so fiercely to rewrite the history of the past 7 years of her life and is doing a complete 180 on the life she said she wanted is so disheartening to watch as a long time fan. I really thought that rep - evermore Taylor was really her most authentic self out idek anymore. The person she is now is like an entirely different persona and it makes me really sad. I hope she can find herself again for her own sake but i think this is just who she is and who am I to judge that Imao? At the end of the day no person with that amount of money or fame would be relatable. Look I always have to remind myself I don't know her obviously but I thought I had gotten a pretty good sense from following her the last 12 years. Idk honestly l'm just kinda ranting here but was wondering if anyone else felt like this lately. A lot of my irls and friends have been saying they feel the same disconnect

I definitely know what you mean and I obviously don’t know her at all but, as someone who’s been here since debut, I know what sounds like her and is familiar, but reading that TIME interview she felt like a complete stranger to me. And it’s hard because sure, she can change her mind and do something different, but for it to be the complete opposite of what she spent over a decade saying she didn’t want or care for is shocking. And the way she’s living her life right now feeds such a dangerous beast, allowing your personal life be a source of entertainment for everyone and often encouraging behavior she spent years trying to sway away…. and do it all while surrounding herself with terrible people who support or do things she also just started to speak out against (and then stop shortly after) is also just like… okay so who are you. what do you stand for now, what do you want now. because none of us have any clue. Everything you once said isn’t true anymore.

[fuck-customers]

💋well I just saw my post about the time a lady falsely accused me of racism… and apparently in the comments everyone is claiming I actually AM racist. I literally cannot describe how disheartening that is that here, the one place I can vent about how truly awful ppl treat me at this job, that y’all would claim I’m lying. To the person that said I fibbed about walking past her only once, I am not making that shit up! I distinctly remember only walking past her once, which is why I was so taken aback by her lashing out at me. This is literally all that happened: 1. She walks in as I’m speaking to a leader, I give her a very quick hello 2. Leader walks away, I walk up to greet her thoroughly and ask the “open ended questions”, as I’m required to do with very customer 3. She says she doesn’t need my help so I go back to walking the area in a figure 8, which is again required of me and if I don’t do this I get a conversation from a leader. I ONLY WALKED PAST HER ONCE, AND I SAID NOTHING AT ALL. That point ofc was when she wheeled on me and starting yelling about how I’m being racist. Despite what y’all might think, that is the truth, I only walked by her once after greeting her and I wasn’t even paying attention to her, I was picking apart my fingernails bc I’m autistic and was zoned out. Y’all can drag me all y’all want but that is literally all that happened.

Fuck y’all who called me a liar. Y’all are just as bad as the people who think shitty customer behavior is acceptable. Y’all are supposed to be the ones that back me up and believe my side of things, you know, bc this is the one place I can go to vent about it. Like isn’t there a rule on here that you can’t defend the customers or complain about workers? Idek im just rly mf disappointed in y’all rn

Posted by admin Rodney.

[bisluthq]

Hi nat, I don’t wanna sound like a hater but I’ve just been struggling sm lately bc I feel so disconnected to Taylor iykwim? Like she just seems unrecognizable and excuse the parasocialness but like idk I think I just need to separate from the fandom because I just feel she’s so different in the past year and it makes me so sad. Everything just seems somewhat staged and inauthentic. I really loved her and even considered her as my favorite person and lifesaver at some point. But that beautiful, genuine, and talented person that i thought she was is not there anymore. I really saw myself in her at some point and really believed she was a gift to this world with the happiness she brought to people and how she was unapologetically herself, from the intimate fan interactions and public vulnerability and need for privacy she showed compared to other celebrities. Especially the fact that she’s been trying so fiercely to rewrite the history of the past 7 years of her life and is doing a complete 180 on the life she said she wanted is so disheartening to watch as a long time fan. I really thought that rep - evermore Taylor was really her most authentic self but idek anymore. The person she is now is like an entirely different persona and it makes me really sad. I hope she can find herself again for her own sake but i think this is just who she is and who am I to judge that lmao? At the end of the day no person with that amount of money or fame would be relatable. Look I always have to remind myself I don’t know her obviously but I thought I had gotten a pretty good sense from following her the last 12 years. Idk honestly I’m just kinda ranting here but was wondering if anyone else felt like this lately. A lot of my irls and friends have been saying they feel the same disconnect.

Xx anon ❤️

no shade queen and I’m sorry you’re feeling sad but herein lies the problem: “I really loved her and even considered her as my favorite person and lifesaver at some point.” That’s not a fair thing to put on Taylor. She’s literally just some lady lmfao and she’s an extremely talented musician, and she’s hot, and she’s very funny, and she’s a good writer even when it comes to prose, and she’s hardworking as fuck, and she’s apparently quite kind, and she also apparently makes nice food, and she has cute handwriting. That’s all we really know about her tbh. She can’t be our fave person or our lifesaver because like we don’t know her?? It’s not fair to put that on her.

on a very minor scale when I did professional activism/politics and on an even more minor scale on this blog when it was very big like sometimes I felt like I had this responsibility to people to like idk be something for them. And I can’t lol because I’m just a girl who likes to make jokes and write and teach history and drink and recently to go rowing lol. It’s not fair to expect me to be anything other than an interesting essay (in the activism days) or a funny joke (in the blogging days). I can’t be responsible for other shit. Taylor has that on the HUGEST scale and I can imagine how stressful that is and it’s not yk fair. I personally think she’ll get bored of being this public in a bit but she’s having fun rn. She’s got a cute boyfriend and her career is doing stellar and she’s got the I cut down on alcohol glow and shit like let the lady live for a bit. She doesn’t owe us shit. And I’m not convinced she’s a different person, I think she’s just not caring if people see she’s yk who she is - not an angel, not a hermit artiste, just a girl who’s trying to vibe.

I also think for me personally I’ve enjoyed a lot of her recent music so that adds to it. I love Midnights and I love the 1989 Vault and idk I am happy to let her vibe like she doesn’t owe us shit. Far be it from me to tell you to buy her $20 teacups or whatever to sponsor her trips to KC - I don’t lol - but I think it’s deeply unfair to expect her to be your lifeline or whatever like that’s genuinely not on her.

All this said, if you’re not vibing with music or the brand rn that’s okay. Harry Potter was HUGELY important to me in my preteens and into my teens and then as it happened, it turned out that JKR was a really bad person and I reread the books genuinely for science and they weren’t that great like there was a lot there I found actively not okay so aside from how I wouldn’t publicly be a millennial Potterhead anyway probably because I’m not yk that bloody weird I actively disengaged and I asked family and friends to stop buying me Robert Galbraith books and I just like… disengaged. Never watched the cursed child, haven’t watched any of the fantastic beast movies after the first one, never bought any merch again even when it’s a bit cute, just totally cut myself off. That’s MY choice. It’s not JK’s. JK is out there vibing like as she should but I don’t have to support her and she doesn’t owe me shit lol so like yes our moral compasses unfortunately do not align and that’s just the reality so I can be all dramatic or I can just stop buying her shit lol and I’ve chosen to do the latter and I don’t have any bad feelings towards her. We just don’t agree on morals. If you don’t agree with Taylor on morals or even lifestyle that’s also fine but again that’s a you problem not a Taylor problem 🤷🏻‍♀️

hope this made sense and helped although it was rambley.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

Tw invalidation/being called a liar, people witnesses the abuse but telling a diff story and idk what I’m looking for really

How could my abuser have done things that caused me rage and grief and there were multiple witnesses but I’m so confused why they take my abusers side and tell me im both faking being the victim and making things up. How can I tell it I’m making things up? How can I tell if im abused or not? Victim or abuser? I think hard about this often and question maybe I genuinely am faking being the victim and im twisting events. Multiple witnesses I thought were seeing what I was seeing but they said they didn’t see the things I remember telling my abuser bout that I think they were doing at the time… and they even went as far as saying I was the abuser. I don’t know what to say or think. How can I tell if I’m making things up or manipulating myself into believing I’m the victim? How can I tell what behaviors are valid reactions to a person and what behaviors are abusive or instigating? With little memory to go off of idk if I just dreamt certain things as a kid and remembered it or idk what’s going on. Idk how to sort through everything.

I did find out though that certain witnesses were creating lies and I managed to actually find this out and see the curated lies/stories they made up to side with my abuser so that’s about 2 witnesses canceled and out. I won’t go through the whole details but that’s it. These two people are child abusers and definitely not trustworthy esp after being caught curating lies…

But the rest of the witnesses seem like normal people and haven’t proven themselves to be a liar or an honest person so I wouldn’t know why they took my abusers side. I’m saying abuser but idek if that’s who she is.

How can I actually tell?

It got to points where my abuser would do something she knew I hated and she knew was crossing a line I drew for myself bc I’d really make myself clear, and I’d say something cruel to her out of pure anger in the moment and every adult around me would go “HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU CANT SAY CRUEL THINGS JUST STOP BULLYING, APOLOGIZE NOW” which made me feel like I was constantly given the responsibility of making all this stop but every time id try to stop the issues b/t me and her I seemed to only make things worse, I’d say something I’d regret and again, the cycle repeats of me having to apologize which I did, and then be responsible for this and stop what’s happening which I thought I tried but I had no control to stop it bc I can’t control my abusers actions but I can control mine, but I had a terrible time controlling mine which I apologized for every time but now I feel like I’m just using a victim complex…. I feel I tried to stop things but I feel it was so difficult part of the responsibility seemed out of my hands.

-🥩

Hi 🥩,

I'm so sorry about what you've been going through. While I don't fully know what happened, it sounds like your abuser purposefully gets a rise out of you, and then witnesses often miss the context and antagonize you solely off your reaction. This is known as reactive abuse. It's also possible that, for the people who seem to think that you were the abuser even if they witnessed it themselves, they may have normalized abuse in their own lives or perhaps they're abusers themselves, which could be why they fail to recognize the situation for what it truly is.

I don't think you necessarily have to apologize for your reactions because 1) you are reserved some grace because you're doing what you feel is necessary to survive in the moment even if it doesn't completely make sense and 2) your abuser is no less to blame, no matter what you do in response. But I also think that if you feel apology is appropriate then I think it's possible to balance taking accountability for your own behavior while simultaneously condemning your abuser's. Because when you get in the habit of apologizing for your reactions to the abuse, it can be easy for that to grow into enabling the abuse to continue as well (which is often the goal of people who deliberately take your reactions out of context).

When you're exposed to gaslighting, victim-blaming, DARVO, or antagonization, it can be easy to question yourself, your narrative, and whether or not you were the abuser. Determining whether or not you're making things up or whether behaviors are valid reactions to a person or abusive and instigating is generally on a case-by-case basis. But it's worth taking into consideration your open-mindedness, good faith, and willingness to improve, as well as the substance and productivity of the criticisms leveled against you. In other words, it sounds like you're open to learning from past behavior (even if you didn't actually do anything wrong), and it also sounds like those criticizing you are more so putting you down and silencing you rather than wanting you to grow or defend yourself.

If you can access or afford it, a mental health professional such as a therapist could help you navigate and process this situation and its complex dynamics, and guide you along your healing journey. I hope I could help and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[whomst-art-thou-whomst-whomst]

Texts from the Lost Tomb, part 5.1

Good thing I didn’t do something like a story arc with this series, bc that would be…well.

Zhang Chat

Zhang Rishan: Could we speak, Patriarch? It is a family matter.

Zhang Qiling: read 12:18pm

Unnamed chat

Zhang Rishan: Good afternoon. I am writing with regard to a development pertaining to a Zhang family heirloom. Its recent activity has provided some potential insight into a long-standing mystery about our family’s longevity. I would deeply appreciate it if you could have Zhang Qiling contact me at his earliest convenience.

Wu Xie: !!!!!!!!!!!

Wu Xie: sorry, I mean yes, absolutely. Is it at the tea house? Can I come too? We won’t break things this time, I swear.

Zhang Rishan: That would be entirely dependent on whether Zhang Qiling contacts me.

Zhang Chat

Zhang Qiling: …Pangzi has several phrases he uses in addressing persistent telemarketers. I believe the more vivid wordings apply to you today.

Zhang Rishan: I apologize for the somewhat underhanded machinations, but the matter is urgent. How much do you remember about the 1800s?

Zhang Qiling: Nothing. Why?

Men in Black Chat

Zhang Qiling: Has he contacted you?

Hei Yangjing: oh shit whaddup it’s dat xiaoge

in some parts of the world, ya know—people lead into conversations with dumbass small talk and actual context for their demands

i know it’s crazy but like lord what fools these mortals be and shit amirite

How’s bae and the loudmouth

Zhang Qiling: Your descriptor for Pangzi is somewhat hypocritical, I would argue. Wu Xie is well; he had a bad cold last week but has mostly recovered.

The Shakespeare reference is noted and appreciated. Although I personally prefer The Tempest.

Has he contacted you?

Hei Yangjing: omg this is a xiaoge trivia plot twist thx

although tbqfh I figured you’d be more into Romeo and Juliet

lmao get it

…too soon?

Zhang Qiling: Has he contacted you?

Hei Yangjing: sadly, dear A-Xie and I just don’t talk daily the way we did when you were making snowmen for ten years or whatever. don’t be jealous, whats a Wu Xie to do but the other black-clad immortal in town who’s…teaching him stuff;)

The last time I heard from our mutual boo was on one of my birthdays (i tell people different days to maximize consistent presents, got the idea from something in the news)

Zhang Qiling: Your attempt at levity is not humorous in the least. Wu Xie is not interested in you and any attempts you make to express your own interest will be blocked with extreme prejudice.

I was referring to Zhang Rishan. At the start of this conversation, five years ago.

Hei Yangjing: yikes chill tf out jelly bro you know I was joking

Cool your Qilin

hehehe

Admit it tho, we would be hot

Also yikes on the Zhang Rishan front

Lead with that next time tf use ur words

No I never talk to the bitch unless he pays why

Ew what does he want now

Tell him i died, make it tragic

Bonnie and Clyde Chat

Hei Yangjing: psst hey sexy got some big news

Xie Yuchen: Change the chat name.

Hei Yangjing: uhh lemme think no anyway how would ur fine ass like to hear some spicy info for the low low price I just sent?

Xie Yuchen: …This had better be good.

Hei Yangjing: face it ur the rich and rational version of Wu Xie I knew u would be curious

So here’s the 411

Xie Yuchen: The what?

Hei Yangjing: ugh

Youth

W/e

So the sitch is, zhang bois got some special necklace from someone somewhere

That is supposed to make the wearer invulnerable or somesuch

Idek man at this point I’m just accepting it, like sure u have a magical necklace, makes sense

I wonder if the Zhangs are like lotr??

I would totes be gandalf. u can be galadriel in that one HBIC scene.

Except this weirdass family jewelry hasn’t done fuckall for years, shit was broke af

then said necklace started glowing last week like yikes it was lit kinda glowing

Hehe I guess this is its glowup

Get it

Xie Yuchen: So, a mysterious Zhang artifact has suddenly become active.

Hei Yangjing: duh that’s what i said

Xie Yuchen: Is Zhang Qiling involved?

Hei Yangjing: he didn’t wanna be but you know Wu Xie has the Zhang Qiling equivalent of beatlemania and got them involved lol

Qilinmania, i dub it

And so now they are headed to the haus of scalding hot tea

Interested?

Xie Yuchen: Try and stop me.

Hei Yangjing: bitch I’m inviting u to crash the potentially dangerous Zhang drama WITH me

It’s basically a date;)

Xie Yuchen: No, it is not. Pick me up in an hour.

Hei Yangjing: feisty, I love to see it

[thisdreamplace]

Hello:) I feel selfish for saying that I don’t want my person (who’s a celebrity) to date or be with anyone else romantically. I get these thoughts that if I imagine him & me in love, that I have to accept that I’m here in this place where I’m becoming me, & that might be him & someone else just because my physical sense are showing my internal senses. I’m scared, because I know facing fears & putting them down is so good for me, but I’m so petrified of something happening/ being revealed because it’s his personal life & I don’t know him in this reality yet. I like to say we are soulmates, & fate has our back. But I sometimes fear what if fate has something else. Funny enough I seen the post you liked & it said something about god wanting our wants to happen or something. & that eased me a bit. I feel uncomfortable because I have been sitting with a lot of feelings & fears recently. I see what fans say in regards, & how they gush over him. & how they say stay out of his business. I feel bad because im not a “fan”, im me. & I believe I am meant to be with him but I keep getting this sad perception when I think about having to accept that he might not be mine.(per intrusive thoughts sayings), I’ve become so open & vulnerable about my healing, even sending this ask is beyond me because it’s so personal to me. I know you said before how our desires & stuff are inherently selfish, I think maybe im judging myself from old beliefs & conditions of the world. I feel like im in this weird place, & im scared because it’s unfamiliar & I feel that in the 3d im seeing things that scare me, & im facing these scary things, & im trying to hold my trust & faith, but my logical brain is throwing a fit of not giving in to the physical. I feel stuck in time too, im here, & I imagine my success & being me with my person there (maybe future but kind of now?) like im stuck in this place of the world in front of my eyes being so different from the world in my heart. I feel at home inside, & I don’t want to give up on love. I don’t admit my feelings of love a lot because I get so emotional, but recently when I’m facing a fear I feel like im screaming “I love you” inside of myself to my desires & person. I get scared from these feelings & thinking about the world love takes me to this place inside of my soul I guess, & I feel crazy cuz I love something that I can’t see before me & im petrified that I don’t know (I suppose im letting my senses physically get to my heart). I feel like im in 2 places at the same time. Im sorry this became long, I started venting. Idek what my question is, maybe reading this you can help me understand a bit.

hi :)

one hard pill i had to swallow on this journey was accepting that clinging onto fears doesn’t stop them from happening. so what do we really get out of holding onto them ? if we know imagining creates reality, then choosing inner freedom is the way.

also, you still see the outer and inner worlds as seperate. feeling like you’re two places at the same time. and i get that because i used to feel the same, it was uncomfortable and discouraging tbh. but the truth is, they’re the same thing, but one is experienced within and the other happens “without” (not really even — but that’s how we perceive it). so i think it’d benefit you greatly to stop thinking “there’s this but then there is that” no. there’s only within, period. you are the outer world. but you are your inner world first.

also all these types of self-judgments as well as this jealousy that’s coming out is just a projection of your inner insecurities. like, you say you really believe you’re meant to be but then you’re falling into this concept of self that says i’m scared, i’m insecure, etc etc. is that the you that really has this relationship ? the key behind manifestation is embodying the state, aka the version of you who has the desire. feeling is the secret, and these dominant feelings are showing you the true feelings. (emphasis on dominant bc we can still experience doubts and fears as this is part of being human. but if they’re your dominant experience, you’re being shown what you truly believe) so yeah, face them. you say you don’t want to give up on love but it’s almost like you’re fearful to actually fall into love and let it consume you. because when we have so many fears like this, they cloud the love inside and outside. that’s kind of the point — we know fear so that we can truly know love. but you have to surrender to these fears so that love can truly take center stage. not in this way where you’re absolutely “perfect” and never fear again. not at all. but moreso you feel more secure/confident because you’re so stable in the love within.

so tbh if i was you i would commit to focusing on me. your sp and any other desire is not going anywhere. but it’s important you become your priority — mentally and emotionally. always, always. we neglect our innerself so much on this journey meanwhile it’s a practice that is solely about what’s going on within you. so don’t continue to neglect yourself in this way. we make the mistake of putting our desires first, without realizing our desires depend on us. there’s no distance between you and your person, but you keep looking to the outside and accepting as such. it’s time to turn away from all that, and truly put your faith/trust within.

i hope this helps 💓

[janiedean]

I feel bad for all the nice J*nsa shippers who like their ship for whatever reasons (tropes, pretty art, aesthetic appeal, whatever) and know it's not canon but get associated with the misogynistic Dany hating crowd who act like Jon being attracted to Ygritte is J*nsa foreshadowing because red hair (I guess Jon should fuck Edmure Tully too? Omg give me Dark!Jon getting revenge on Catelyn by seducing her brother!) Tell me something. I'm new to the fandom but was J*nsa popular before the show? And I've heard something about the OG J*nsa shippers being alienated by the new shippers who insisted it had to be canon and acted like the series is called, "A song of J*nsa #danysux." I don't find that hard to believe because I know people who are now ashamed of calling themselves J*nsa shippers. Like, at this point, it's not only rival shippers who hate it. Even Gendrya/Braime/Jon stans/etc have started disliking that ship. You know your fandom is a problem when people who have nothing to do with Jnsa have a problem with it.

me: reads this ask

me: iwastheregandalf.gif which I can't find now but

okay anon buckle up because I am sadly well-equipped to answer this ask but before I do lemme tell you dark jon seducing edmure to take revenge on cat is LITERALLY THE BEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD but *clears throat* ALL RIGHT THEN.

disclaimer: as anon says I have no issue with like the shippers mentioned by anon in the beginning and ngl I agree, I have ABSOLUTELY ZERO FUCKING STAKES in the j*nsa vs j*nerys war and the only het jon ship I gaf about is jon/ygritte and we all know where that ended up I just... have been here since 2011/adwd was over and all the fic around was just for the books under secret lj communities and asoiaf qualified for yuletide and I have... seen... things.... and I actually have like uh had... beef... with some people in there and I know things bc ppl who hated those others told me stuff so anyway *sigh* buckle up anon I'mma tell you the story of jon shipwars through the years

in order, the old gods help me here, under the cut bc this is long as fuck

when I got into fandom also given what numbers were on ao3 one ship was popular and it was sansan. no like sansan was lit. the only asoiaf ship on ao3 with more than 200 fics. jb had twenty when i checked first. jc had like around 100-ish because of the show but sansan dwarfed anything. I posted the first jon/ygritte fic on the ao3 tag and the fourth throbb fic and like the others were all reposts from lj kinkmemes. nothing was popular before the show except for sansan when it comes to huge numbers bc grrm doesn't like fic and it was all hush hush until the show made it impossible to control and that ship was the one with a huge enough fanbase it actually had numbers, so like... j*nsa wasn't popular in the way nothing else was popular until it got screentime on the show

now, that stated, j*nsa had a... fair amount of fic for a rareship which was mostly book-based and from og shippers that were there from before the show and liked it for what it was but literally none of them thought it was gonna be canon, like it wasn't huge or anything but it had a small but dedicated fanbase who did their own thing and thought it was fun/liked the idea but that was it

that fandom had their own niche of hcs that they cultivated and shit except that like... at the end of S5/beginning of S6 there was a surge in shipping for... well obvious reasons bc it was obv sansa was getting to the wall and that would have been all nice and good but a) it was the time puritanical shipping was starting to take root and the 'shipping sansa with sandor or tyrion is hella problematic' rhetoric had started to circle coming from sans*ery shippers mostly but I'mma not open that fucking can of worms here, b) while the ending of S5 had more of a theon/sansa spike, the j*nsa stuff started getting big

now here we have to mention my villain origin story ie: j*nsa fandom had this one stan whose name I won't make because honestly it's been years and if she's still around I don't want her to remember I exist who was a bnf, wrote for... the website that created the whole larry/carol thing etc who was really fixed on this thing that j*nsa was actually canon and started writing extremely popular meta about it. now you're gonna ask how do you know, I know because this person once wrote a meta named 'why robb stark is a dick' and I told her that it was really fucking bad meta and she took it so badly she kept on trash talking me on her blog/her podcast (I was apparently the insane robb stark fangirl l m a o good lord) and like that was when some sane ppl who argued with her informed me in pvt that she was basically harping on the CANON thing when they'd have been okay with like... it being crackshipping and that she was basically cultivating a hoarde of followers who were harping on them/the ogs and basically ostracizing them;

I would like to add that this person - before her tumblr got 'accidentally deleted' and remade it therefore deleted most receipts for, er, her so-called meta which included stuff like ned and cat raised sansa as a sexual object and only wanted to sell her like cattle - had at some point started a round robin fic thing where... some of the characters mocked openly said stuff that some of the og fans had said specifically targeting them and people in that side basically went harassing anyone who didn't agree with that specific notion

now never mind that this person basically coined an entire term to describe ppl who liked white guys and excused all their wrongdoings out of my conversation re robb basically lying about everything I said as if I didn't have the receipts and tried to sell shirts with it and it didn't work and like then she got kicked out of her own website because she was telling her commenters disagreeing pretty shitty insults (considering I was called psychotic for disagreeing with her that time I don't doubt it) I think at some point she stepped back from fandom bc idk wtf she's up to these days and I don't want to, but basically at that point the dam was broken and there was a bunch of puritanical shippers harping on anyone who didn't agree with j*nsa is canon endgame stuff

this also includes an incident when those ppl were like... passing themselves as throbb shippers and ended up trying to tell t*hramsay shippers off the theon tag based on moral reasons and I ended up arguing with all of them (and they were all from that crowd) which in turn landed me in contact with other og j*nsa shippers who were like detached from that fandom bc those same people harassed them away as well ssooooo fun

anyway when S6 happened everyone was high on it and whatnot but I wasn't gonna begrudge them that I mean... you shipped it for years, canon is delivering you, good for you, but then j*nerys happened

god j*nerys happened

aaand basically...... I mean personally I was there like are y'all seriously arguing about the best incest jon ship out there but like basically the j*nsa endgame side was like AH JON IS PLAYING DANY SEE IF IT DOESN'T HAPPEN, the j*nerys obv got defensive af and both sides were sort of alternatively shitting on jon/ygritte anyway and depicting any other romantic rship jon could have as abusive™ and during S8 it just got worse and like I tried to stay out of it but basically from what I'm seeing now idk how the j*neryses are doing but on the j*nsa one it's ah jon's gonna play dany anyway and she's going to go insane like in the show so SHOW TRUTHING EVERY OTHER WAY and like again denying that sandor exists or that tyrion exists and like I barely touch my corner (sansan) but I ended up arguing with j*nsa/th*nsa people on twitter who were antis and is2g it was white-hair inducing and I know for sure the sansa/tyrion shippers were harassed to hell and back throughout so FUN

and even if the show didn't go there now since everyone there banked on the jnsa endgame thing and admitting you're wrong is like... not a thing, they still haven't let go of it and attach to that ship any shred of evidence which honestly is grasping at straws half of the time (like... the sansa/alysanne parallels like guys please no) and which is why every other ship is starting to get fed up, attaching canon proof of stuff from other ships onto theirs see that batb argument and jb is platonic but jonsa is not nvm taking all the sansan stuff and throwing it on j*nsa but then denying that sansan has canon evidence (like guys I had to read sansa touching his shoulder when saying gregor wasn't a true knight wasn't meaningful and we were seeing things please) and blah blah blah

this also goes hand in hand with the fixation on like... villanizing dany at all costs and like is2g I have zero investment in dany or her storyline I don't even remember it and I don't particularly care abt her either way and sure af I'm not for j*nerys endgame but like.... some stuff I read is completely excessive esp when fixing on how she's a completely mad tyrant who's gonna have to be put down and like... guys no

(also there's some srs stannis hate in that corner which I honestly don't get why they even care abt stannis but I had to read stuff like ppl don't recognize that dany and stannis are the real villains in this saga and like........ idek)

I think most of the og shippers are gone or don't ship it openly bc they don't want to be attached to the drama but like I also think they're pissing off everyone else bc like... I mean a bunch of them also were down with sansa being paired with other ppl as long as it meant a good ending for her except those ppl were... like everyone but the ppl she has actual contact with in canon which meant that at some point sansa/gendry was a thing and like.... you can imagine why arya/gendry shippers & arya stans were fed up, and there's also this tendency to behave like sansa is the center of the entire saga which like these books is named a song of jon snow basically can we pls make peace with it and personally I've had it with both j*nsa and j*nerys people since they started with that dumbass JON/YGRITTE WAS AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP rhetoric but I'm also fed up with the total ignoring that sandor exists/depicting us as delusional and honestly I also was by proxy fed up from the harassing of the sansa/tyrion shippers soooooooooooo

there were also instances of 'well theon is an acceptable choice other than jon bc he can't threaten her' which... i mean we all know what that meant and I'm not even commenting it bc it's one AM and I have no force to but I don't have to explain why it's not a progressive take now do I

there were also metas about how cousin incest being legal in half of the world means that jondany is a worse incest and j*nsa doesn't count as such and I was basically there like guys please just fucking own up to it but honestly I chose to forgot where I read that and I couldn't find the link if I tried

tldr: no one wants to admit that it's not gonna be endgame which considering the amount of fic they have on ao3 is imvho useless bc they have more content than like.. anything I ship that's not jb or that's actually like canon *cries in joncon/rhaegar but I mean renly/loras is canon and has less fic than them* so idk what's the problem with enjoying that instead of insisting it's gonna be canon when not even the show validated it while show truthing anyway when the only show truthing that can be truthed is the small council made of minorities and possibly jon eventually fucking off with the wildlings but not like that but like most people who thought it wasn't gonna be endgame had left/were made to leave by the time S7 rolled by and at this point since wow isn't out yet everyone is fandom-grasping at straws to find stuff to discourse on and we're here beating dead horses *shrug*

so that's... how it is but I would again like to point out that I don't judge ppl on their shipping, I don't particularly care about this entire feud bc I only ship jon with ppl he's not related to in whichever way and I try to stay out of this mess bc I don't really care to argue with ppl who have already decided to bend canon to whatever they want and will have to realize that it's not what grrm wrote at some point but like I have a very good memory and the above rant is as objective as possible also bc again I don't literally have a stake in that race I just think romantic/endgame j*nsa is not a thing and that ppl should stay in their lane and not harping on other ppl who ship whatever in general but especially when their ship is the most popular thing in fandom in the first place /two cents

[fanmoose12]

I am not over it. I am SO not over IT. I read the SNK manga YEARS ago when it was only chapter 100 and one day I had the dumb idea to continue that shit. I am not PLEASED and Hanji's death UTTERLY WRECKED ME, someone who wasn't even a Hanji Stan!! reading the manga made me fall in love with her quiet determination, leadership skills, and sense of duty when before I was more of an Armin type of girl? She just. won me over. and her death was NOT OKAY. I CRIED while saying no no nO NOOO OH MY GOD -

and it TORE ME APART and she was the only person in my mind ever since and I couldn't read the manga in the same nonchalant way ever again. i'm sorry i promise im getting somewhere! it legit ruined my moods and made me so sad all the time IT WAS THAT BAD and i started hating eren with absolute passion. Idek where to start? How her death was pointless & nobody gave a fuck?? and Levi thought of FRICKING ERWIN instead of Hans & I wasnt even a Levihan shipper it doesnt make SENSE! He just LOST HANS

-- and all he can think about is FUCKING ERWIN. come on MAN, and she parented the 104th even REINER had more emotions than these mfers. Everyone is alive EXCEPT HER, like onyakapon and even yelena, minor characters, it just feels so UNFAIR, i'm not mad abt death, i breathe angst like it was chocolate it was just so pointless and meaningless and no one even grieves, especially Levi who was closest to her. there was just no room for her in the plot anymore and thats what makes me pissed -

- not bc it was her time, but bc she ran out of uses to the plot and like in GOT where the character is smarter than the author. not only that, she was made so powerless and pathetic and she felt so useless and she died like that. where's the justice? the character arc? right she was there Just to Save Levi :// it's like that quote from gone girl - "the world will know that [man] threw his beloved wife like garbage, and she floated past down all the other abused, unwanted, INCONVENIENT, women"

(sorry for the fem pronouns, i'm all abt anime hange here). and its not like she wasnt a fan favorite, she's top 3 of the last character poll. just bc shes not levi and eren and armin. and cmon. yams had to nerf and minus 100 out of her iq for the INSANE plan of fucking zeke and the yeagerists, can you BELIEVE she trusted and was OUTSMARTED by ZEKE, who legit massacred the survey corps, even though SHE HAD THE SAME LEVEL OF IQ?? but noooo, plot reasons!! shes not eRwIn, what you expect 🙃

im upset, not bc my fav character died but bc it was meaningless (if falco can fly, why tf didnt he do that in the first place) and hollow in logic and in emotion. maybe snk's lesson to us is life is unfair and we should suck it up. it wasn't well earned & yams wrote hanji in a corner, like (again) in GOT where no matter what daenerys chose she was wrong. sorry i dumped all this to you!! if you're still here, thank you for listening to my month long pent up emotions, im still really sad about it

- and idk how to let go? but your writings have definitely made me feel better, it just comforts me like Levi to a bottle of bleach. thank you for still writing!!! about an anime girl in a fictional world and still delivering more emotion than the original author. my heart definitely feels better these days, though it still aches bc she deserves so much better & didnt deserve whatever the fuck she was given, thank you for championing hanji zoe rights! im 99% sure she wont be revived -

but she lives on in your writings and other fanfiction authors and artworks and i'm just so grateful we have a community like this, honestly im just glad you're here :) keep doing what you do and i hope you're safe and warm & healthy!! also to every hanji stans out there one fucking day when we love a character the author wont rip our hearts and throw it to the garbage, im so so sorry for my long long ask but if i could request maybe eren apologizing to hanji inpaths or when she got captured or

or when she died or you choose!! i saw this art by @siroyuki 2015 in twitter where he's hugging her and shit, you should check it out it gave me feels!! i just want her to be loved and appreciated :((( again thank you so much if you made it this far! im sorry if you're annoyed or smthn HHAHAHA i promise this is the last! thank you for your service to humanity we stan 💪😩👌💕💞 

ah don’t you let canon frustrate you, it doesn’t matter anyway :D like you saud, we still have fics and fanarts

however, yeah, i do kinda feel you :/ like the way yams keeps glossing over hange's death is actually a bit weird? like i know they're at war and i know that they have no time for grieving etc but the kids were literally bawling their eyes when hange died but no mention of her sacrifice at all after that? like in 136, gabi said that they should stop the rumbling to repay azumabito's kindness and that's ummmmmmm.... a little bit weird. sure, gabi is a little girl with no connection to hange but reiner, jean and connie were there, when gabi said that and they saw hange’s sacrifice, so why not say something like “yeah, we can’t let commander hange’s sacrifice go to waste?” like come on. what did azumabito do? let falco transform on the board of her ship, so now she travels on a boat? i don't think that can compare to hange's acts though. she literally brought these mfs who were ready to jump at each other's throat together and then she sacrificed her own life to give them yet another chance at success. a sacrifice that was proved to be utterly meaningless in the very next chapter? why did falco learn about his ability to fly only after hange died? why didn't he discover it upon first transformation? :/

oh, and speaking of hange's character arc? like i get it, she was depressed, she struggled with her role as a commander (even though she did everything she could and she did a damn good job at it). and i guess that this plotline was kinda resolved when she heard that erwin approved of her actions? and that's cool, if what we've seen was actually an afterlife and not hange's hallucination. because if it was indeed a product of her mind then that's, um, kinda depressing bro. hange was so desperate for someone's approval that she dreamed about it while literally dying. i just don't understand why yams didn't include a scene where kids tell her how much they respect her and what an honor it was to serve under her command or SOMETHING. but as it is, hange died, thinking she was weak and useless and, um, yeah, certainly not the end you want for your favorite character :)

so yeah, hange's death was kinda meaningless and pointless - it didn't serve the plot whatsoever + it could have been very easily avoided 

[mego42]

I 100% agree about wanting more fanfic lists! I honestly think it's the best way to get a variety. Everybody has personal preferences, if someone, who mostly reads long, fluffy au Brio fic, is making recs, they're not likely to mention short, angsty, canon Brio (which is understandable and fair!) so ideally someone else, who does like those, would also do recs. I'm pretty sure I've read or at least tried the vast majority of Brio fics, but the recs often make me re-read the fic and author.

YAAASSSS!!! I mean like, okay, I v much get why people have issues with rec lists, and I def do not by any stretch endorse the idea that recs/rec lists should be considered anything other than one person sharing a think they liked, but to me a lot of the issues (the same fics/authors getting recced, feeling like awesome fics/authors are going unrecognized) can be solved by more reccing, not less. everyone’s got different taste and different stuff they look/read for and I am extremely pro sharing that.

Idk, I think about it like this: in a previous internet life I was a YA book blogger and I lived and died by recs from other bloggers whose taste and preferences I knew. I mean, you know, I’d check out a book bc the premise sounded interesting but literally the first thing I would do was go to Goodreads and look for a handful of people who tended to like the same books I did and see what they were saying about it bc that was the best way to get a good idea of if I wanted to give it a shot. Or, on the flip side, there were some people whose reviews I followed bc I knew we v much did not read for the same things so if they hated a book for X, Y and Z reasons, I was probs going to like it (one thing about book blogging is if you want to keep current, you do not have a lot of time to mess around, snap judgements are key but that’s a whole other thing and idk if it’s even relevant anymore bc that landscape has changed so much). 

ANYWAY, the point is, I got in the habit and now I do the same thing with fic bc, tbh, I don’t have a ton of time to read, esp not when I’m actively writing which, with the exception of the last week or two, I’ve been doing p non-stop since I got here. All of which to say is, I am desperately in favor of fic recs for purely selfish reasons, I need them! Give them to me!!! Please!!!!!

That said, I uh, am v bad at returning the favor and I recognize that (I think I’ve made what? two rec lists for this fandom?) so I will try to do better to live by my own, idek what this is, moving on and here are 10 recs not really thematically linked by anything other than I’ve read them and loved them and don’t think I’ve put any of them on one of my rec lists yet (and if I have, my blog is a trainwreck I cannot be expected to remember what’s on it LET ME LIVE):

The Goodest Boy by EnsignDisaster

There’s a key turning in the lock and Buddy rushes over to greet his Master excited for her to meet his new friends. The door opens and he dances around Master’s feet rejoicing on the fact that she’s made it home. It's been literally forever.

“Hey Buddy what’s wrong? Need to go potty? Need to pee-pee?”

“Nah he’s good we took him out.”

Master does something very unMasterlike, she drops all the food she’d brought in on the ground and screams. It’s a non traditional avant garde type of hello…Buddy loves it. Mostly because while Master taps furiously on her small light box and sits tense in the corner opposite his new friend Buddy can lick up the egg smashed on the hardwood floor.

Buddy! The! Dog! POV! no further explanation necessary. Technically WIP, but it covers the whole pilot in a way that could be read as standalone (THOUGH THAT WOULD V MUCH GIVE ME A SAD though, when did the show forget the Bolands had a dog? so maybe that’s a tragic casualty of canon, idk)

May The Moon’s Silvery Beams by @pynkhues

Emma hums in agreement, and Rio turns her around to sit her on the counter, grabbing one of the older looking boxes of muesli while she kicks her legs out, heels bumping back against the counter, watching him. He gropes around the inside of the box, finally just opting to pull the plastic cereal bag out and peering inside. He can’t quite keep the grin off his face when he sees the wad of cash lining the bottom. This woman kills him, she really does.

Then there’s a little face peering up beside him, trying to peek into the box.

“What is it?” she asks, and he tilts the box sideways so she can see inside.

The upside to not getting here until s3 is that old fic is new to me! Huzzah!! Idk how many of y’all have already read this on but if you haven’t I highkey recommend. Extremely cute take on what if Emma woke up when Rio and came by to collect his/Beth’s/whoever's money during the shutdown. Cannot believe I’m reccing kidfic. Witchcraft!!!!!!

Maybe You’re My Fantasy by ohmisterjapan

He fucking loves the involuntary. It speaks to how he likes to unlock chaos and walk away. He's been called a control freak before and it felt like such a misunderstanding of him - he's all about self control but he doesn't want to control others. It's more that he enjoys revealing to them how little they can control themselves. It's more that he likes to stand still in the eye of someone else's storm and pick coldly through the wreckage.

Another oldie but a goodie. This fic is more like an extended character study (first chapter Rio POV, second chapter Beth) and I LIVE FOR THIS KIND OF SHIT. I really really really love the take on both characters, it really digs in and pulls out some nuances that made me sit and think about my own read of them and I love it.

A Shock Of Blue by mintletters16

“You don’t look very well. Would you… like me to get you a glass of water or something?”

Her voice is low but smooth, laced with a softness that cuts straight though to his core. Strawberry blonde locks fall gently just above the pair of magnets freezing him in place.

He can still feel the chaos tearing through his veins - emanating from the gold plated gun stuffed in his waistband - and suddenly he can’t be here anymore. Can’t meet this wide-eyed gaze that’s been locked on his for the past God-knows-how-long anymore.

Can’t see blue alive and concerned when he just left it cold and void somewhere in oblivion.

She’s looking at him like he’s on the brink of madness. He thinks maybe he is.

Apparently, it’s backlist rec day over here and I’m not sorry. This one is another technical WIP but the chapter works as a standalone (BUT if the author decided to return to it I WOULD NOT BE MAD). It’s a what if Beth and Rio met pre-canon and it works so!!! well!!!! The tension and fascination and build are all *chef’s kiss* plus the writing is gorgeous and lyrical and ugh, I love it.

for a moment we were strangers by openhearts

“We got stuff,” Rio motions with a nod to the backpack Beth hadn’t noticed when they arrived hanging on the back of one of the chairs at the island.

She swallows and turns back to the dishes, realizing Rio apparently means to sleep there , assuming the place isn’t bugged.  Or for some kind of cover story if it is.  She turns and fixes Rio with a narrow-eyed stare, studying his face, the corner of his jaw especially prominent from the angle she’s looking up at him.  He’s methodical about drying each dish and setting it back on the rack, maddeningly ignoring her hard stare, so when he goes to take the next plate from her hands she grips it tightly and gets his attention.

“Hey.”

“What you on about now?” he asks, irritated.

It gets her gut uneasy, how he’s just . . . there, settling in, in ways he never had before, no matter how nonchalantly he would let himself in through her locked doors.  

“This is,” Beth tries, failing, to find words for it, “. . . it’s weird .”

This one takes place post 204 and Rio and Marcus end up spending a long weekend staying with Beth and Emma for reasons (that work, for the record, I’m just not trying to summarize rn) and it’s domestic and cute but honestly my fav part of it is how weirded out Beth is by how easily they slip into sync. The story does an excellent job balancing where they are in canon (uneasy post-sex truce) with a snapshot of what they could be if they got over themselves (HA! as if) and Beth is DEEPLY FREAKED which makes her slow slide into realizing she could maybe sort of kind of oh shit like it/him??? that much more satisfying.

Not So Careful by @bensonstablers

When he doesn’t answer, her eyes go to his but he’s too busy watching the letter opener which is still pressed against the back of his hand. Curiously, Beth runs it up his arm, careful not to press too hard, and smiles a little as he shivers. Pulling her leg up onto the bed, she shuffles closer to him before pressing the tip of the sword to his chest and slowly circling his left nipple with it, being sure not to get too close.

“You ain’t gotta be that careful.”

And when she lifts her eyes to meet his, he’s got that look. The one that always makes a lump form in her throat and for her to fall back into bed with him without a single thought of what they have to do that day. Only thing is, this time they’ve got nothing to do for the rest of the weekend and well, staying in bed the entire time had seemed like an appealing idea so she allows herself to give in a little to that look.

It makes me EXTREMELY SAD that knifeplay ranked so low on the kink survey so I’m gonna need y’all to check out this V V V EXCELLENT example of it and come back and tell me you’re sorry and you voted wrong. I am v reasonable what are you talking about.

love (where it wasn’t supposed to be) by @lilliloves

"You know what I can't stand?" Rio asks, stepping closer. It's a rhetorical question but he pauses for a second and watches Dean sniff, watches a bead of sweat trickle down his forehead, watches him shift on both his feet as he contemplates making a run for it.

"A guy who don’t realize how good he's got it." Rio continues, looking Dean up and down in disgust. "A guy that will literally fuck up a good thing just to get his dick wet."

"Yeah, well I can't stand a guy who can have anyone he wants but chooses the married woman he's not entitled to.” Dean shoots back. "And I really can't stand the fact that you're always in the room with us even when you aren't there."

And who brings him into the room Dean hmmmmm????? Jk, jk (or am I). In this one Rio catches Dean out on the town with another woman (bc of course he is) and tries to call him out but whoops! gets called out himself. I really love the like, idk, undercurrent of wistful regret in this fic. I love Dean straight up calling Rio out on his feelings (spoilers but there’s an exchange right after this one that made me straight up holler), and, you know, obvs I am here for Rio making Dean feel like an ass. 

Hell Is Other People by makemanybraver

Rio: We're in Hell, Elizabeth! If you don't think you belong here, then repent! Don't fuck everyone in the room in hopes that you get to go out!

Beth: Why do I have to repent?!

Rio: Because you did some fucked up shit in your life, Elizabeth! You keep doing fucked up shit here, too! And you think you don't belong here!

Beth [screaming at the top of her lungs]: Because I don't!

This fic is existentially bonkers and I love it. It’s the kind of experimental format/homage/what have you kind of thing that I L O V E. Based on No Exit by Jean-Paul Sartre, Beth, Rio, and Fitzpatrick are stuck together in a room in hell for all eternity. What more do you need, honestly.

Working On Things by odenkirk

Unknown Hold up, Elizabeth. I'm really thinkin about you here.

Beth turned her face into the pillow, effectively suffocating herself for a moment, but thinking it was a good trade off for the way the cool silk of her pillowcase chilled her skin.

She lifted her head to glance at the still sleeping Dean before replying.

Beth I'm thinking about you too. But this can't happen.

She wanted him to know she wanted him, but she also thought that admitting she was already there would save Rio from trying to convince her. She wanted him, but morals had to win just once in a while.

YES this is technically Beth/Dean while also being Beth/Rio BUT it’s also sort of Rio/Dean and I am HERE FOR THE DIVERSITY OF SHIPPING leave me alone who asked you.

Five Times He Knew What She Was Thinking, and One Time He Didn't by JoeyLee

Aight, so tell ‘em I was hittin’ it. Said deliberately blunt, eyes locked on her face the whole time, just to see those blue eyes widen. She looked so shocked that he almost laughed, so he softened it teasingly just to keep her going. Oh, I’m sorry, sweetheart, tell ‘em we were makin’ love.

Then he just watched her, just watched her face, just fucking fascinated. Her lips were parted and her eyes were big as saucers, and…there it was. Before she could look away flustered, he watched the thought go through her mind. Him and her together.

He wondered what she was picturing or where. Them in the back seat, her bed, a motel?  Her on top or him from behind or his face between her legs?

Whatever it was, the blush started immediately, and he watched it bloom out from her cheeks to her hair. Then she was tearing her eyes away to gulp a little.  But it didn’t knock her down for long before she was looking back. And then, wait, was she actually asking him how to go about telling a fed they were fucking?

Okay this is another technical WIP but works as a standalone. I am absolutely fucking feral for character POV takes of canon scenes and this is a supremely excellent take on Rio POV of some notable scenes from the pilot through 204. Imo it brilliantly captures Rio’s voice and I love it a lot. 

HEADS UP I am absolute shite at tracking ao3 to tumblr unless people have specifically told me someone’s ao3/tumblr name SO if you recognize any of the non-tumblr authors on please lmk so I can tag them and YES I recognize that I am asking y’all to do things for me throughout this entire post and I’M SORRY OKAY I’M A WHOLE ASS MESS LOVE YOU BYE

[mangomingki-archive]

I'm literally the one person that shouldn't do this bc you know me but screw it, I'm Anne, stans ateez skz bts, your W I F E.

I'm extremely ear-inclined (lmao is that a thing? I made up a word? Probably), I rely a lot on my ears and learn best with my ears (auditory learner). Something you probably don't me is that I have perfect pitch, which means I can hear a note (a random note sung, a random clatter of something, a bell, anything that makes noise) and know exactly the note that it made. I also play the viola, violin, (a very, very, VERY LIMITED amount of) piano, and I think I'm a pretty decent singer. My range is closer to a tenor or alto, the lowest I can sing is the D below middle C. If I scream I can hit high notes. But I'm an engineering major fjdjsksk because I'm good at math and enjoy science. My dad calls me well rounded or a Renaissance (wo)man bc I'm good at a lot of things :) I also write! Haha you knew that already.

I'm extremely interested in human psychology and /why/ people act the way that they do. Maybe that's why I like darker things? There's just a lot more angst and choices involved for the wrongdoer and it's so interesting to see why people have evil in them. Something that came to my mind that I feel like describes my character is this one time in high school, my history teacher was talking about war, and she asked, "is war ever justified?" And I was the only one in my class to say no. And she was really interested in that, and I said that it was because war has never accomplished anything, only innocent people die, it's overall an extremely traumatic event, and it's a result of human faults (lack of communication, lack of understanding, greed, etc). And she told me that the term for how I thought was "absolute war" (I think that's what it was? I look it up every now and then and I can't find it), which means that in order for a war to be justified, there has to be a specific and serious amount of reasons for it to happen. And I just, idk, found it touching and interesting. I just really don't like violence or pain,,,, in real life. Theoretically, like in stories or psychology, it's really cool and provoking. Ahahahahaha I'm just dumping about my life, have fun with this

I'm stressed rn about school, mainly about physics. I just don't get the subject but I rly wanna pass 😶 gonna be hitting physics hard over the next few days bc I have an exam on Monday that I'm praying I do decently ok on. Like, I've attended every lecture and taken notes and it just refuses to make sense in my brain. It's weird as hell would not recommend, bio is much sexier. I'm afraid if I fail it or have to retake it, that'll affect my chances at grad school but like, idek if I want to go to grad school and I'm only a freshman in college so what the hell, idk. I just worry about everything and want to try my best. My ambition has ambition

And of course, the most important bit about me, I love Jongho thank you and goodnight, enjoy the Anne word vomit

hello hello wife!!!! you are always welcome in my inbox :DD that is seriously so cool that you have perfect pitch!! i have only ever met one other person who had perfect pitch. i personally think something is wrong with my pitch, as i can’t ever tell if i am in tune, or what note someone is playing, like, at all lol. i can see why darker things are more interesting. like you said, there is more ‘why’ to explore when people do bad stuff. also, i have never really thought about war and whether i think its justified. i do believe though, after a short period of reflection, that i agree with you. also, forgive me if this sounds weird, but i like hearing about what you think about things. its interesting :DD i am afraid my dear that having never taken physics, i am of little help. but!!!! i know, because of how hard you work, that you will pass. eventually, it will click for you!!! and if it doesn’t you can always cheat. just kidding :D or am i?  also, you’re right, you’re only a freshman! so its all good if u don’t have everything figured out yet :DD i understand about worrying about everything. i really really do. <33333 ahhh yes yes, anne is a jongho stan first, and a human second :DD thank you for sending something in darling!!!! 

its sleepover time!!!

[watchyourbluesturngolden]

my annotations for chappy 11 of ysijwa

this is just for drea and leyla to read so if you're not drea or leyla pls keep scrolling :)

ok this is pretty chaotic and like i said earlier i treated this ike a wattpad comment section so... have fun ig :)

SHERLOCK AND WATSON CINEMATIC UNIVERSE SHUT UPPPPP I LOVE YOU SM DREA

NOT MISS SNAP CRACKLE POP

jealous y/n you say???

now i know why you ignored all my tiktok asks lmao

HELPLESS OH MY GOD

truly madly deeply intended :)

damn he's kind of a narcissist yk? like "I have to be serious my entire family depends on it" shut up mr darcy you're not special

devout in his religion hmmmmmm hopefully we see some more religious trauma content bc me too vampy

awww he wants kids but now he cant have them bc hes... dead :(

AWWW his sister taught him to knit :( if he doesn't knit bloodbag a sweater i swear to god

stuffy moron is correct

"IT'S A FUCKING WONDER HE EVER GOT LAID" OIJRIOJWEIOJIEWOJFIOEJOF

"THE ATROCITY THAT IS BEING ACQUAINTED WITH NIALL AND HIS HORRIBLE AFFINITY FOR CHEAP FLANEL" ORJFOIJFEIOWJ YOURE SUCH A POET

he's so dumb she was with him bc he's hot that much should be obvious to him🙄

FOOLISHLY HOPELESSLY UNMEASURABLY IN LOVE HWAT THE FUCK DREA IM SAD

i love that he remembers the spinal cord dislocation and the dead leaves . like yea im dead rn but the leaves in my hair are really what's bothering me the most

what the fuck is a maw

ok i looked it up i get it now

"attachment is for gullible idiots" yup and youre one of them vampy 😌

"the warmest skin his icy fingers had ever had the good fortune to touch" im so soft rn

oh so now she has "a wholesome beauty about her nature" ? i thought she was just cute enough 🤨

HE THINKS HER SMILE COULD RESTART HIS HEART THATS SO CUTE IM OUHOIJFOEWIJFIOEWJ

"the responsibility of keeping her safe, satisfied, and happy" how 🥺 🥺🥺

"as long as he breathes" i thought he didn't breathe lmao BUT I GET THE SENTIMENT

"always when it comes to her" IM SCREAMING RN THIS IS SO SOFT I CANT

ill never forgive him for being so dense either his brain is basically a rock

HE WANTED TO COMMUNICATE THAT HE BELONGED TO HER IM GONNA HAVE A STROKE

couldnt be me i dont want to be percieved

HE ADDED A FUCKING BUTTERFLY AFTER THE DISCO BALLS IM OIWFJIOEWJFIOEJIOEWNOJIWJ(*H(WUIOFJIOEWJFIOWHVIFUEH)U)($UT

HEY a hamilton obsession is not childish😤

'the only person who was allowed to touch him there was y/n' he's like a little kid who's possessive omggggggg

oh this reminds me i rlly hope everything in that chest was new and had never been used on anyone else owijfowiejfioewj

oh please my irish king can control himself let y/n meet the other vamps🙄

"if they knew all along why did it take so long" yk im wondering the same thing dummy

"every day was a battle to earn her love and affection" wtffff how could she hurt him like that he is just a baby

i think he needs therapy tbh

yes he does deserve to be treated with respect and dignity😤

"supporting and tolerating them despite your differences" exactly unless they're a republican

IM SORRY THAT WAS MEAN OIWFJOIWJFEIOw i said what i said tho

they did everything backwards but it's what baby needed🥺

im literally gonna 🔪 bradley how dare he hurt my favorite ribeye like that

PROPER BOYFRIEND-GIRLFRIEND BONDING PLSSSSS im sure he makes sure to say stuff like "as your boyfriend' or 'since youre my girlfriend' all the time now

"everything that has to do with harry has always and will always make her feel safe and secure" ...who's gonna tell her👀

HE BECOMES CLINGY IVE BEEN WAITIN FOR THIS ONE TURN IT UP

awwww my love language is also quality times bestiesssssss

(this is more serious you might want to change the words to nose kisses or something because esk*mo is a slur)

HE wants to be wrapped in HER arms and get forehead kissies like a little baby🥺🥺

i can tell you wrote this chappy bc leyla would never write about ice cream

IF CHRIST CAN GET A DATE MARKER SO CAN HARRY OIFJOEIWJFIOEWJFWI PLSSSSSSSSSS I LOVE HIM

ALWAYS FOR HER WEJFIOJWEIOFJEWIOFJOIEWJFOIEWJF HES SO IN LOOOOOVE

HE DID IT AND IM SO PROUD OF HIM🥺

omg i have a thot imagine if she got a heart murmur or something and obvi he knows bc he can hear it so now he has to find a way to make her get it checked out out without being suspicious 😭

HE ROCKS HER TO CALM HER DOWN WHEN SHES HAVING NIGHTMARES IJFEOWIJFOIWEFJ

“nearly blinds himself for eternity” what a drama queen i love him

maybe learn how to turn your brightness down grandpa

“can women sense emotional distress” why is this so funny oiewfjwieojfioewj

DEHUMANIZING OWEIJOIAJAKLFSDJLKSDJFKLD

not a psychotic episode 😭😭

crippling mommy issues woejfkljdklsjsdf me too king

awwwww he made her a full buffet i would cry

matchy socks im gonna sob

king is a chef 😌

y/n’s head @ harry’s clavicle rn: 💥

“his plush chest” drea its ok you can say titties

“absolutely flawless”? are you sure shes not just cute enough 🤨

he got her oat milk 🥺the sign of true love

hes such a shithead i love him

SPELLING HIS NAM E ON HER TUMMY IM HAVING ANOTHER STROKE

“I DIDNT WANT TO LEAVE YOU ALL ALONE” HES SO WOIFJSJFSDKJKLSDJF

HE DIDNT HAVE TO DO NIALL LIKE THAT 😭😭

RAPUNZEL HAIR OSIDJSKJKLSJF

she traces a tiny heart on him wtfffffffffff im sad

this… is hot

“theres no room on the counter” owifjlksjfslkfjklsj

HE WOULD WALK THROUGH FIRE FOR HER maybe then he’d be a little less cold

im sorry that was wrong of me lisjfskldjfwoiejewiojrei

OH MY GOD OWEIJFKLJSKLFJL SHES SO BOLD “can’t i?” OSIJFKSLJLKJF

oh boy hes gonna kill her

I WONDERED WHEN THE YOURE HOT WHEN YOURE MEAN THING WAS GOING TO COME UP

literally shut the fuck up mr english major

do it bestie kick him in the balls

SPARE BOOBIES MAAM I CNAT BELIEVE YOU aCTUALLY WROTE THAT OWIFEJWIJEKLJFOIEWHOEWIFEHFLKEWJFKLEWJKLJFL

IM WHITE IM ALLERGIC TO SPICE WEJFLKJFKLEJFLKJSKLJKFSJD

“character development at its finest” what a self aware king

y/n stop being mean to him baby just wants to feel close ☹️

“I’m anemic” ok king whatever u say

“ME AND MY CHRONIC ILLNESS IM SENSITIVE” IJFKLSDJFKLJSDKLJ

ahhhhhhh it’s yoga time

“just ask your cervix” jlksdjflksdjflkdsjflk

“if only you knew” ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

yeah y/n isnt like those other girls 🤪 shes different 🤪

yes bestie objectify him

THERE IT IS MY FAVORITE LINE IN THIS ENTRIE BOOK

PERHAPS MY FAVORITE LINE IN ANY BOOK EVER

“He hasn't been this stiff since rigor mortis”

i think about this on a daily basis i truly do

grey shorts? what a slut

“call the lapd im pressing charges” me after walking up the stairs

OH SO THIS IS WHERE THE GREYS ANATOMY CHARACTERS FROM THE SPOILERS WITHOUT CONTEXT COME IN

him using his shirt as a towel im BARKING

“I wasnt jealous” yea ok 😃

AGAIN HIM DRAWING HIS INITIALS ON HER SKIN THATS SO WOIJFSKLDJFLSJ

yeah harold she just wanted a little kiss 😤

yeah 😃 its bc he ran track 😃

no bc thats so fucking cute that she pretended she had never seen the show before bc he was excited to introduce her to it 🥺

I would do the same tbh i feel like it would be fun to wash dishes with harry idk why

“that skank” oisjksldfjklsjfklsdjflkd

YOUR THICK SKULL COULD DAMAGE THE MARBLE LSKFJKLDSJKFLSDJFKLSJFKLSJKLSJLDKFJLSKDJF I WOULD CRY

he gets her a cup of water 🥺

ok but like wouldn't she want to wash her hair after it got all sweaty at yoga

awwwww she got his toothbrush ready for him why am i so soft rn

memory foam mattresses sound nice but actually they kind of suck bc you sink down and feel trapped in them 😃

HE WATCHED THE TIKTOK SHE SENT HIM IM HAVING A THIRD STROKE

niall is probably on the dumbest side of tiktok idek what side but it’s probably annoying and he thinks it’s hilarious

noooo baby youre not a monster🥺 someone give him a hug rn

well actually you are kind of a monster but its ok we still love u bestie

I too run on caffeine and pizza pockets 😌

TONSIL HOCKEY WHAT THE FUCK OIEJFLSDKJFKLSDJFLSJLKFJSDKLFJ

chatsnap hes such an old man 😭

true lmao if you dont have social media i immediately dont trust you

not the i just washed my hands tiktok 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

HE FEELS STRANGELY PERCIEVED RN KJFLSJFLKSDJ IDK WHY THIS IS SO FUNNY TO ME BUT IM LIKE LEGIT LAUGHING

DO IT BESTIE BITE HIM CHOMP CHOMP

“my eyes are stinging” hes such a baby 😭

“MY SIGH”TS ALL FUZZY” SJFKDSLJFLKDSJFLKDSJFLK

“are you all right” “I dont know :(’ i cant handle this my face hurts from smiling lksjflkjafklj

he has a kitchenaid stand mixer omg thats so sexy

ok but has anyone ever gotten salmonella from raw cookie dough bc i think thats just a myth

fuck u for that one vampy

wow he could never deal with my chronically ill ass

WAIT IS IT WAP

NOPE ITS BETTER LSDFJSDKLFJDS

I agree body is absolutely an instrumental masterpiece

I KNEW HE KNOWS SOME TIKTOK DANCES I KNEW IT

“I know youre kinda into that (getting smacked in the face)” SHUT UPPPPPPP SKJFSKDLJFDS

NOT HIM TWERKING SLKFJSDKLFJDSKLFJDSKL

YES YN GET THAT VIDEO AND BLACKMAIL HIM

“I think i popped something” ok old man 😭

why is the word wench so funny lkfjslkfjdslkfjsdlkfj

dont hand it over i want to see him snap

OH SHIT HE JUST JUMPED THE TABLE LSDFJSDKLFJLKDNMNXCMNJKHOIUIOEUR

oooooooooooo

OH MY GOD AGAIN SHE REALLY IS BOLD SLKDFJDSKLFJLSKDJFLKJFS

not guerrilla warfare 😭😭😭😭

do it bestie give him a concussion he deserves it

“no piece of art could ever compare to her” 🥺🥺

“remember that time you told me making out was childish” “no” i hate him 😭

THERE IT IS AGAIN “sex isnt the only way he can feel close to someone anymore” SHUT THE FUCK UP IM SOBBING

this reminds me of the dehydrated intercourse with demonrry

“don’t care, relationships are about sharing’ hes so sdjfksldjfklsjf

DO IT BESTIE KICK HIS KNEECAPS IN

suing disney for false advertisement 😭

THIS SCENE IS KILLING ME LKJFKLSJFLDSJ “just pucker your lips over it” “You have actual brain damage, dont you?” DREA I LOVE YOU KSDJFLDSKJFLKSDJ

how do those bubbles taste babe

ok drea wtf i was so happy and now this??????

“everything’s wrong” NO SHUT UP SHUT UP ITS HAPPY HOURS

not the boob privileges 😭

WAIT THIS IS FROM THE BSE MV ISNT IT “dance is just so hot rn” “depressing shades are just so hot rn”

NOT HIM GETTING ALL STUTTERY WHEN HE ASKS HER IF SHE WANTS A DRAWER 🥺

NO ONE HAS EVER BEEN THIS GENTLE WITH HIM BEFORE WTFFFFFFFF IM CRYING

“youre so fucking cute, my baby” me when i see literally any picture of him

JELLO HAS a STRONGER BACKBONE THAN THIS KSFJSDKLFJDSKLFJ

“betrayed. objectified. taken advantage of. used. “ i hate him sm 😭😭

OH MY GOD IS SHE GONNA SHAVE HIS FACE THATS SO CUTE IM

SHE ISsSSSSS IM SQUEALING

stop him worrying she’ll think it's weird and wont want to do it 🥺

“bold of you to assume id ever be convicted” PLS DREA LAKFJDKSLFJ

“the more you talk, the more appealing manslaughter sounds” I CHOKED DLSKFJDSKLFJDKSJFDSKLJ

HIM WHISTLING TO GET HER ATTENTION WHY IS THAT SO CUTE

Im sorry but its really funny to me how you wrote the sentence “wrong metal, he thinks ironically” … get it ? like IRONically lkfjdslkfj im sorry i’ll show myself out

“this boy?” what a fucking cutie i want to kick him

I forgot what a bop helpless is thanks for reminding me im gonna go listen to the entire soundtrack again-

theyre so fucking cute i hate them

so yea bascally this is the best thing ive ever read and i love you so much and my face hurts from smiling :)))

[tonyglowheart]

This entire thing is a rant, feel free to ignore it, but I saw your post about how destiel fans can’t win in this context, and yeah. So have some rambles.

I’ve been thinking about the fact we (current spn/destiel fans) can’t win all night... I’ve seen so many people talking about how homophobic it is - and while I would very much like to argue, as every point I’ve seen made by a non-spn fan has been wrong so far, if I did everyone inside the fandom would agree and everyone outside would either call me straight or pity me for believing it’s okay.

(Cas wasn’t even sent to hell lmao. He was sent to angel death (the empty), a place he has escaped in the past. Other points, like that meta about spn has been predicting exactly this for months, that Dean ended up sobbing on the floor because he was so upset, like that death means next to nothing on spn, like that there is two episodes left, etc etc. you feel me right? I just don’t want to post wank to other spn blogs atm, we’re getting enough frustration as it is, no need to add to it.

It’s also worth pointing out that the bar is very, very low. Spn is a prominent TV show - not a Netflix show, or indie, or whatever - and it just said “main character in gay love saved the world”. [insert gif of ghostfacers dude saying that gay love can pierce through the veil of death and save the day here]

I just saw someone saying that spn having Naomi try to brainwash Cas out of loving dean makes spn homophobic (it is a conversion therapy parallel). My first response to that is that Naomi was the villain lmao? I guess we can’t write villains doing anything homophobic because having villains do homophobic things makes, uh - checks notes - villains look homophobic, and clearly we can’t have that.

There certainly are legitimate things to criticise spn about, but this isn’t it lol.

Also now some people are unironically trying to cancel Jensen because “his acting was homophobic, and so he’s clearly homophobic”, nevermind that he’s an actor and his character struggles with understanding his emotions (which I think he played excellently, myself. That scene had a very Dean delayed emotional response), nevermind the support he’s given to us queers in the past. Like. Idek man.

We would have been laughed at if we got no destiel, too.

It would have been worse, had the writers pulled a dumbledore. At this point I also trust the writers not to pull a GoT - they have explicitly criticised that ending in spn’s canon.

Spn’s writers did that by making the main villain of this season, Chuck / God, say GoT had a good ending. To reiterate a previous point I had: villains do bad things because they’re bad. And the bad things they do make them bad. For the people out there not still following, if someone does something in a story and it makes them a villain, that is explicitly telling you the story (and probably the writers) thinks that thing is bad. In this case, Chuck likes to write things for him, and we the audience have been shown and told that is bad.

Apparently thinking a gay confession is good in 2020 makes me straight. Seems unlikely, but whatever. Sorry for the length, I guess I went overboard, I’ve been holding it in lol. Anyway, DESTIEL IS CANON 💚💙 hope you have a good night

Helloo supernatural anon I hope you are living your best life right now. Yeah I’m like..... skeptical and leery myself but having lived through some absolute garbage discourse that is general purity wank, as well as the C/QL greater fandom here and on Twitter I find myself... much more wanting to question the “general wisdom” of things esp in terms of negativity, bc a lot of the time I find.... it’s wrong? Like so wrong. Or at least presents such an incomplete picture of the whole situation and also presents it in such a removed context that words that have meaning and are operationalized in a certain way for a reason, no longer have meaningful usage.

Anyway I don’t... know too much about the specifics of Spn but someone I follow is into it and talks a lot about the Gnostic stuff and that all was very fascinating to me, and I also have been grappling a lot with cultural Christianity bc of cmedia and the way ppl just *clenches fist* unthinkingly or uncritically slap some Christian norms on it and call it a day 😩 help I’m Tired. My thing here being... I actually got tired of the uncritical “superhell”s at some pt bc I am, in fact, incredibly exhausted with cultural Christianity, and because it does seem like, even possibly(?) without the Gnostic stuff it’s different from a “hell” or other Protestant-derived afterlife concept, and also yeah that it wasn’t seeded out of nowhere, it was set up to happen, which then... lends credence to the idea that whatever the current era of Spn is doing, the current showrunners are doing it with purpose.

And idk I just... refuse to believe the concept that ALL of the fans of Spn - esp the ones who have been following it still, or got back into it and are following it currently, are acting under delusion or are fooling themselves into liking it or thinking it’s good or whatever. I personally find that kinda infantilizing and patronizing and playing into issues of dismissing things women and/or other marginalized identities like.

Plus I find the concept that (from what I think I’ve been seeing Spn fans say) that the current era of the show is quite actively grappling with itself, its past, its legacy. to be very interesting and compelling; it hearkens back to like an old lore kind of feeling, of a thing that has grown into a nigh undefeatable monster and realizing that, also realizing that the only way to defeat itself is through grappling with its own nature and transforming and transmuting itself into something else. I personally find that more plausible and compelling than “Supernatural has been actively and continuously queerbaiting for 15 homophobic homophobic years., so right now we’re all very sorry for you because this maybe is no longer queerbaiting but it’s still homophobic and it can never be anything different ever.” I’ve been sort of tangentially aware of Spn thru the years and didn’t we agree, around the time of that in-universe play about Spn and with the lil Destiel shoutout, that Spn has come a ways as far as coming to terms with its fandom and working to treat its fans better? Why the sudden regression into “oh no, Supernatural is and forever will be homophobic and a hate crime”? 🤔 

The rest under a cut bc the ask is already long and then my rambling will get longer-

But yeah I mean..... I get that the legacy of Supernatural has been certifiably Rough, but I think people also forget how different of a time 2005 was? Hell, how different of a time 2015 was, even, prior to, say, Obergefell v. Hodges. Now I’m not saying that to blanket-excuse Supernatural, but like, you look at mainstream shows from the era and... there’s a lot of shit lmao. The fact that Supernatural has existed this long seems to me like.... maybe we CAN look at how it’s developed through the years vs just insisting it is what it was 15, 10, hell, 5 years ago. Especially since, to my knowledge, there’s been showrunner changes? Which seems to me like it would... affect things? I mean honestly, I remember back when I got into Spn for a hot second because of Castiel, I remember watching panel, Q&A, etc vids thru the years, and like... I thought we agreed that... it was the fans who were going a bit far pushing the shipping question like literally ALL the time to the actors, who are not in control of the show and.... like at the time.... that could have had personal implications for them? And yes homophobia bad, and people can still be allies despite that, but again like.... I do feel like - from what I’ve seen - that these guys were NOT ready to deal with a lot of that but they’ve (okay Jensen I’m talking about Jensen here) genuinely grown and learned? Also how many years ago was the essay autograph thing that people keep trotting out, like what year was it in and what year of spn was it, and what were the prevailing opinions on LGBT issues and bisexuality then.

I’ve been seeing some murmurings of identity politicsing surrounding ppl who enjoy Supernatural, and I’m sorry that that’s happening to you, it really fucking sucks and it’s also the dumbest way to “make” or “win” an argument because it shouldn’t ever be a final determiner, just factors to consider when considering what life experiences might have informed someone else’s PoV and views as well as maybe how you can better communicate with them. Instead of it being a “weapon” or “tool” to either dismiss someone or de facto validate an argument.

Also yeah I get it that you don’t want to send discourse to spn blogs bc I imagine you guys ARE actively grappling with all the bs rn and it’s a lot. Even just from like, the stuff I see around, I’m like tired of it. I’m genuinely having more fun with ppl who are having a good time with Supernatural than the ppl who are hating on it, even in this sort of backhanded “oh we’re not clowning YOU we’re clowning the writers and showrunners who think you should be satisfied with this,” when... yeah? the people who HAVE been watching the show and therefore... know what’s up.. DO seem to be? And all this based on *fake gasp* context. And that’s where the backhandedness becomes kind of poisonous to me, because it implies that it IS bad, and that you SHOULDN’T be satisfied, but poor little you are but don’t worry, we’re not making fun of YOU for liking garbage, you’re just the hapless victim who is consuming the garbage bc... idk, whatever reasons ppl are coming up with ig.

idk man it’s 2020. Fandom isn’t activism, performative or otherwise, it’s okay to let people enjoy things even if you think they’re “objectively” bad, and like... I don’t know if people can call something bad when they’re not even working with the whole context and instead are dealing with rumor and reputation. 

[shawcl]

15Qs tag game

i got tagged by @floralminho​, thank you so much rae ♥

1. It’s your birthday! What did you ask for and did you receive it?

i only ask for money now and usually get that lol

2. What was the last song or album you listened to?

i’m currently listening to mac miller’s album ‘swimming’ while working (don’t look at me i’m taking a lil break). it’s one of my favorites!!

3. What is your go to snack when you’re hungry or bored?

we got this semi healthy snack with peas? idk but i‘m kinda obsessed with that djdjdkd other than that potato chips are always my go to

4. What is your morning routine?

that depends on the day lol if i have to drive to work: first lie in bed and curse my very existence, get up, dress, brush my teeth, do some skincare, make a quick breakfast sandwich for on the go bc i literally always get up last minute (sleep >>>>>>>>)

if i work at home: lie in bed and curse my existence, get up, turn on the pc, make myself some breakfast while everything’s loading, scroll through tumblr a bit, start working in my pjs lol and eventually dress in some other lose clothes and brush my teeth and shit

5. What mythical/cryptid creature would you be?

a hobbit!!! living the dream life

6. How do you interact with somebody that you don’t like?

i usually try to be nice to everyone, i might be really awkward tho and people who know me always say they can tell that smth irks me asdfasdfa

7. How do you define a toxic person?

pretty much everything rae said: controlling, manipulative, self-centered, always brings you down, etc. 

8. Have you ever been to a concert or fan meet type of event? If not, would you want to?

i‘ve been to countless concerts including some kpop but no fan meet so far

9. Do you believe in astrology? Why or why not?

not rly, it‘s fun tho!

10. If you had only one sense (hearing, touch, sight, etc.), what would you want?

LMAO i think abt this question all the time idek know why. but i can never decide between sight and hearing, music‘s basically my life so i can‘t rly imagine not being able to hear anymore, but i also like to take pictures and see pretty skies u see my struggle here

11. Who is your favourite celebrity or idol?

yoongi’s been my ult for 5 years now so... but also jonghyun and basically all of shinee they rly be my source of happiness always

12. If you could talk to your favourite celebrity(s) for a limited time, what would you tell them?

listen friends... i’m socially anxious lmao idk how people do that at fansigns and shit i wouldn’t be able to say a word, but let’s just say that’s not the case i’d like to tell bts and shinee how much they mean to me and how much they helped me throughout the past few years and how proud i am of them. i’m rly bad at feelings and cheesy stuff so i’ll leave that here asdfasdfasdf

13. I’m taking you out on a date and it’s your choice. Where are we going?

uhhhhhh idk, i like doing smth nature-y and also live close to the swiss boarder so we could drive to some pretty lakes. yes, a daytrip, that’s it. also anything including yum food is always good. but not in switzerland bc expensive. 

14. Do you like sweet or savory foods?

depending on the mood, i like both!!

15. Do you have any band merchandise or merchandise from any of your favourite artists? If so, what?

bro lmao it’s bad, like really bad. before i got into kpop i bought sooooo many band shirts like i have way too many and now they in my closet and idk what to do with them. that’s the reason i’m withholding myself when it comes to kpop and only buy the albums and some concert dvds. i got all of bts albums, most of shinee’s including solos and some other groups in between, but ever since 1-2 years ago i only buy btshinee stuff. oh i also got an agust d shirt bc i was weak but that’s it. 

ok so i’m tagging @taemines @daechwitamv @lamperos @everythingoes @hosnack and @softesthobi !! ^_^

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

“i had a dream about the Borderlands are Yours trailer last night for like the 7th time so i guess i ought to do the analysis before i have a breakdown”

find the trailer here

~discussion of the cloth map spoilers occurs in here, but nothing else. if you’re worried about those spoilers do not read~

non-spoiler tl;dr: we discuss why rhys’s head implant is yellow instead of blue in this one particular scene and also go thru a bunch of theories as to what tf is up with Zer0. and some other stuff about giant space lasers

so the intro is pretty much the same as the we are mayhem trailer so we’re gonna ignore that since we figured out where sanc-iii was

pretty sure this scene has been shown already too, in the official announce trailer, i remember taking note of the pink shots

another cov camp on pandora (see elpis in the back). ive said it before and ill say it again i adore amara’s as animations

seen this a bajillion times as well

from we are mayhem near the end. also im still lowkey convinced that robot directly to the right of moze is jakobs. i know i’m probably wrong but... i want to believe. it reminds me of a cowboy

The Are. this is directly below Sanc-III (u can see the wall in the background)

eden-6!!! im interested in the signs in the back there

Prison, Reliance, Jakobs Estate, and... amoe kyuri??? wtf does this say?? idek.

This A Way (glad to know Claptrap will haunt us from beyond Sanc-III)

im interested in the Prison. i wonder if that’s any of those concrete structures/buildings we’ve been seeing across eden-6. i was under the assumption those were like testing facilities, but a prison would also make a whole hell of a lot of sense.

actually

given this sign here over the bridge to the left of the above shot

and the fact we see this concrete structure on the far left in this coming shot

that might actually make some lick of sense...

also can i just say i love the aesthetic of this supply line

so there’s a lot of shots here we’ve already seen and gone over multiple times, im not going to do that again. sorry but... eh.

maliwan = cultists confirmed

i mean if the cult-themed t-shirts being maliwan colored didn’t already cue us in on that, this definitely should lol

and speaking of this shot, i wonder if this has anything to do with Rhys’s building? the one his office would be in. it looks like there are multiple levels to the right of this robo

ah maliwan working with the cult why am i not surprised

rhys gets fucking annihilated (TM)

in all honesty... given this quest name

“Space-Laser Tag” and the subsequent quest “Atlas, At Last” makes me honestly think rhys is about to seriously get fucked up

which sucks. i like rhys. we’ll talk more about this in a second, but i don’t think its coincidence the VHs have come up to the asteroid belt to stop the giant space laser and thus are not on Promethea where the laser is going to hit

better look at this shot, that definitely looks like a rampager to me. i get it, i think. gearbox is hyping up this rampager fight to be super awesome, show it in all the promotional material, have a kickass fight with it, then the twins come in and steal the kill from you. they steal the satisfaction from getting to kill this super hyped-up vault monster.

im picking up what you’re putting down, GB. 

did not realize fl4k actually snaps. how the heck do they do that?? gotta be hard with metal caps as their fingers tbh

404 space station not found

we’re back on the asteroid

... why this gun shoot tentacles :|

this is art

wheres his head going

i was so distracted by the razor blade status effect (??? zeroes??) i didn’t notice the giant-ass A on this banner

OwO what’s this for

~A~

also this which... looks like it could be an amara skill. maybe the one that releases elemental projectiles after an enemy is damaged? feel like we would’ve seen that one already tho.

thinking of this one, im pretty sure we should’ve seen this in one of the many, many gameplay videos (im so jealous) already available.

so if it is, baller, if it’s not, im not too surprised.

it does also seem to be targeting the double cause its shield becomes visible after being hit

i thiiink this is eden-6? in which case it may be that facility tina, brick, and mordy are in (the windows). which may, in retrospect, be that prison we’ve been hearing about

cool angle of the HBC. im pretty sure we’ve seen this shot before, too.

before we get to the actual best part of this scene

this looks very Athenas-like. possibly eridian? although the lights are throwing me off. i suppose the order or someone from the order could’ve built these structures... but what for??

heheheh

also this fucker has those rocks growing out of his head, too

the ones from the alien guns

somewhere outside the RC

back at it again in the space station

also this maliwan thing looks so fucking cool

duuuude looks like the cult got their hands on more than just maliwan hoverwheels, check out that dropship on the left!!! looking cool asf

the cars are STUNNING

holy shit this skin is amazing

very siren-esque

we’ve gone over this clip already but given now that we know the maliwan base thing is on the asteroid, it’s fitting to re-address it i think

a look at one of the metal bois (that im still convinced are jakobs lol)

i love the way this thing looks

the portal seems to be giving off the same blue sparkles we’ve seen on pandora

these

[edit] we also see them in the newest new trailer as Sanc-III zooms off into space. which is interesting.

dunno wtf that means, but yeah. they exist

probably some weird eridian/other dimension shit.

more eden-6

goliath looking amazing. not red and is wearing a helmet, so that’s interesting

looks like a part of the space station

biggggg hallway. im honestly loving how huge these maps seem to be

geniviv! i love her boss fight sooo fucking much.

honestly looks like so much fun

more c a r s

this fucker

probably eridian

i mean it seems to be absorbing the pink-ish energy from the moving stones so i assume its got some sort of link going on

also comparing the mask and arm bit to what we’ve seen rhys hand us on promethea

this thing???

but yellow instead of pink

u kno all this

ye

then again it does sorta ruin the eridian tech so maybe... it’s not lol

honestly my other guess is this is part of that ‘experimental forest’ we’ve seen signs for during the eden-6 demo. dunno why it’s destroying the eridian ruins tho. maybe those pink b e a m s are hurting it? entirely possible. some sorta... life succ ability like Tyreen.

but i don’t think it’s coincidence this thing has shown up right on top of some Eridian ruins/buildings/whatever. the leftmost part though looks like it could be human technology, which is weird. maybe some weird sort of mish mash. human tech that trees/plants grew onto and eridian ruins accidentally powered up. iunno man. im tiored.

rhys’s implant is glowing orange/yellow-ish which is very new

this is from the dev trailer (not glowing at all in the darkness)

from the promethea twitter trailer

and honestly that’s pretty wild to me because in tftbl rhys’s implant glows blue 

shown when he’s in the vault next to fiona

in bl3 during the We Are Mayhem trailer while using his ECHO eye

oh also since i just noticed

from the promethea demo

this scene

also from the promethea demo

they’re missing their monomolecular edge!

we’ll get back to zer0 in a secco

anyway you know who else’s head implant glows?

im not saying katagawa is replacing rhys because their implants are on opposite sides of their heads, but i am saying Katagawa WANTS Rhys in Maliwan and... well, Rhys’s forehead implant isn’t glowing yellow in any other shot we see of him

idk gamers i just think its sus

also rhys is holding onto that thing we see him handing to us in the Promethea trailer

this thing?? you know?

the eridian thingie majig

tho these look like two different areas... unless there’s like a very drastic wall change between angles (which there may be- these fans look identical)

which makes sense that Maliwan would want it (for the big laser thing maybe?? since we know they’re going for activating said laser)

... but honestly i get the feeling this is in some way related to... after the laser. especially since we know that that eridian thingie matches up with this one on pandora

in which case... wtf is the laser for? it definitely looks like its destroying stuff on the surface...

rhys also seems to have knowledge about the eden-6 vault key since he projects it during the dev trailer

me thinks someone got h a c k e r o n i e d

alright galaxy brain theory time:

rhys gets hacked by maliwan not only bc they want a merger, but also because he has info on the vaults/giant space laser, forces zer0 to be maliwan branded now since atlas is joining maliwan, zer0 finds out rhys is not willingly joining maliwan and is instead under maliwan control and tries to forcibly take the key away from him, we stop zer0 and save rhys from both the assassin and maliwan control

🤷‍♂️

Alright but in all seriousness there’s only 2 ways this can go

1. that’s actually our zer0

2. that’s actually not our zer0

and there’s a lot of theories running around about that and i guess we ought to address them

so for 1 there’s a few possibilities:

1. zer0 is a robo/cyborg and got hacked by maliwan (i personally don’t like this one bc i don’t want to know what zer0 actually is. it is a ~m y s t e r y~)

2. zer0 got paid more money to eliminate rhys and is doing so

3. zer0 decided killing their boss would be the ultimate challenge and thus decided to try it out... by joining maliwan

4. they’re faking rhys’s death and/or zer0 is infiltrating maliwan

5. zer0 got the brainwashed/their bodysuit got hacked (i would be interested to see if the monomolecular edge tech caused them to get captured or smth. i mean if there’s a tracker on it, then zer0′s decepti0n wouldn’t exactly work cuz they turn invisible... but they’d still be seen)

6. rhys got the brainwashed/hacked and zer0 is attacking him to get the eridian thingie/key/relic/whatever back

personally i’m curious how they’d play off 1-3 given Zer0 and Rhys are both shown on sanc-iii and zer0 even has crew challenges

im saying idk if the crimson raiders would appreciate zer0 attacking/trying to kill an ally without very good reason.

which is why i’d imagine 4-6 are the more reasonable answers?

also given the explosion of Promethea (what we’re assuming is Promethea) is green and also the laser we see maliwan controlling is purple, i wonder if that’s some brainwashing juice instead of... other stuff. cuz like.

this is elpis’s giant space laser. very radiant and like... ribbon-y? and has all that blue stuff and orbs and mm.

THIS is Promethea’s very solid and has circles and just. looks straight up like a death laser.

and yeah again it could be modified by that human-looking (?) tech around it to be like a brainwashing b e a m or something

or just more precise. that too.

and honestly idk if this could destroy a planet like how we see the planet (that we are assuming is promethea bc of the asteroid belt) in the sanc-iii article

it’s a solid ‘yeah that’s more likely than my theory’. might take a lot of time tho. or maybe those energy rings power it up or deal more damage when they hit the planet...

oh also given Tina literally says “WE blowing up this whole mother humpa”

and the reason im questioning the human-looking tech around it is because

typhon and leda 100% noticed something here. i guess if it was altered by humans after typhon and leda found it then that would make sense?

we’ve also got this from the tree guy, so i don’t know for certain.

anyway number 2

(2. that’s actually not our zer0)

i love these ones

1. that’s 0ne (zer0′s assassin’s assassin from the son of crawmerax dlc)

2. maliwan made a/hired a copy of zer0 and it’s easy to copy their voice/way of speech bc of the modulator (that’s just a fake implanted into atlas to steal all their secrets)

and all of these have the idea that the real zer0 shows up to save rhys at the end of this scene (explaining the blue light)

this

i personally disagree on that being zer0′s sword. tbh it looks more like a maliwan weapon or a laser or smth to me. that said it could be a weird effect because they’re in decepti0n or smth.

most of these theories have the idea that the real zer0 is either off with Fiona or Lorelei or just off on their own and only show up later. i wouldn’t even be surprised, given their line at the end of Tales. you know the one where they diss rhys like “i was talking to her” lol

so i don’t really have much to add to these. personally i believe that’s our zer0 up there, but i wouldn’t be shocked if something happened with the monomolecular edge that allowed maliwan to create a copy of zer0. or brainwash/control them. whichever. 

i do like the reintegration of 0ne into the story, that’d be a hilarious call-back, but i worry it’d be too obscure (a side quest in a headhunter dlc) for the majority of players. we’ll see

it’s weird if brainwashing or mind controlling thru the maliwan tech is the case bc the monomolecular edge isn’t present on their maliwan sword. or their future sanc-iii sword (but that part DOES make sense bc why would they keep that).

(alright also so i just took a bunch of nyquil cuz im sick as a dog so if this devolves into incoherent rambling im so sorry)

ah aurelia

i love her to bits but i don’t trust her because i mean... she worked alongside Nisha and Wilhelm and Alistair dislikes her. there’s like a 50-50 shot she’ll become evil

i would not be surprised if this is a boss fight (door looks frozen over on the left there) but also i would not be surprised if she’s helping us fight off waves of enemies given it looks like we’re in the jakobs manor

like i said 50-50

her attack does make the camera wiggle a bit, usually that happens if the attack injures the player viewing it (with the hud off) cuz it will give a stagger effect

so take that with a grain of salt. also we don’t see aurelia on sanc-iii when hammerlock and wainwright are both there in the group shot in the launch trailer

this fucker i already talked about a bunch in my reddit post on the eridium subject so im going to link that here. i might have already spoken about it on here tbh... i can’t remember lol

anyway here’s the copy and paste from there to here

you can see a huge Tink with Eridium growing out of his head and what look to be Eridium horns. And he's being elementally charged from an Eridian floor tile (in one of those temples, probably the Pandoran one but it could be Athenas, I guess). Kind of like how Bloodwing (also bigger) becomes elementally charged by Jack using element-throwers to change her element. i know it's a cultist tink because on his right shoulder (our left) he has those glow-y pink/purple tubes that are on the CoV guns and other cultists (like goliaths). and while i'm not sure if this is solely Eridian stuff (since they're in a temple) or because of the twins, it's definitely something that should be talked about. 

wait no yeah i did talk about this because of the athenas post. i just remembered lol

uhhh whoops. double dipping i guess lol sorry

still not sure if this is Pandora or Athenas. kind leaning towards Pandora atm

i like how this guy is able to make a cryo wall thing

he goes to smash it but we don’t get to see what happens cuz it cuts to another rampager

dishing out corrosive/radiation (??) attacks while someone shoots it with a fire weapon

this bamf which i KNOW i discussed in that athenas post

also something i haven’t noted is that his roar seems to be activating something here, like a spiral light of dooooom. also more blue sparkles. maybe summoning an assist? or a debuff/attack aoe. 

there is also this weird light near its legs that moves with the camera and sorta reminds me of the weird real-life face talky siren thing. you know the one

very curious as to what this is cause i haven’t seen it in any other scene with a rampager in it. maybe some sort of connection to the spiral/whirlwind thing it’s making?

oh wow im tired now lol

well bl3 is fully downloaded on my computer gamers, so we can officially say it’s happening!!!

[botls]

meeting the hadestown cast 9/29/19

here are my posts breaking down acts 1 and 2 of hadestown and here is my post about meeting tltm cast the same day :) enjoy and if you have more questions PLEASE ask 

patrick page:

so??? YES I MET PATRICK PAGE i was floored bc he never stage doors but on our way in he was walking in too and i typed it out right after it happened while we were on the ticket line and this is what i wrote: saw patrick page walking in to the theater talking to some kids i walked over in a trance - said hiiiiii really dreamily he said “hi enjoy the show” and i said “oh my gosh thank you you too wow” and he walking in i’m SHAKKKKKJIIIIIIINGGGG HE NEVER STAGE DOORS like yeah i was shaking so bad lmao i’ll never forget he was wearing a black short sleeve and carrying his lunch in a brown paper bag and his voice was otherworldly it was in-fucking-credible i didn’t get a picture or obviously not his signature on my playbill since it was before the show but yeah it was the coolest thing to ever happen to me

kimberly:

she was SOO sweet and smiley when she came over i told her ‘i LOVED your performance your facial expressions were fantastic” and she was like “oh my goodness thank you” so i was like “no for real i was already crying during if it’s true but when you stepped forward and faced the audience with that /look/ on your face i was done for” and she looked so happy i sadly didn’t get a picture WITH her bc i was passing up playbills and then she was unfortunately a little too far down the row but you live and you learn i guess i did get this picture of her though and i noticed her floral themed outfit and i just was like “on brand” and everyone around me Felt That

jewelle:

jewelle came out next and she was STUNNING like. seriously a QUEEN i told her how i loved her earrings and she was so happy she said she loves them and then the guy behind me said he loved her voice so then we were talking about that for a while as she was talking about how she wished there were more roles for deeper voices we all sent an f in the chat for that one then when she was walking away the woman next to me was like “oh your pocket is open” and she didn’t hear so we all tried to get her attention and we told her and she said  “oh i know it won’t close - that’s my ghetto bag”

timothy:

timothy !!!!!! taller than you’ve ever imagined wow i had my three inch platform sandals on and it was still a Struggle to get us both in frame but yeah he was super nice and i told him “my favorite memes are ones about you being tall” and he was like “oh there are a lot” and i just said “thank goodness for that tho” ajjshdgduis when i went to take our pic i had the camera facing the wrong way and he was like “you’re gonna have to try that again” lmfao

yvette:

yvette came out and she was GORGEOUS like seriously. i told her so like a million times ajjshdjskms i told her how i loved her hair, how good her lipstick looked, how good her make up was, how beautiful she looked in general poor girl probably wished she looked uglier with how many times i told her like i honestly don’t remember any conversation beyond that except maybe me telling her she did great idek literally all i remember was being floored to be in the presence of such beauty

reeve fucking carney:

then next we see the door open and i go “REEVE” and lo and behold who walks out but reeve carney i couldn’t believe it i was freaking out over his bandanna i was like “holy shit im about to meet reeve carney in a bandanna” ajshdgfhdj but anyway as he got closer i was like “oh my god look at his bracelets” then we were all looking and one matched jewelle’s earrings so i said so and the guy behind me was like “i was JUST gonna say that” we both ajshdgftydusk together then the whole time the lady next to me had been taking pictures of every cast member for her daughter so she asks reeve “could i please get a picture of you?” like she did with everyone else but reeve was the first one to be like “sure––do you want to get in?” and without missing a beat she goes “no” so we all laughed and i said “turned DOWN” and reeve turned to me and made a fake sad face so then he was signing someone from the back’s playbill right before me and i saw his eva bracelet and my heart LEPT i was like “ohmygod i LOVE your eva bracelet” i think i might have said “uwu” out loud rip and then he goes “thanks someone actually gave it to me at the stage door” and i said “i wish someone would give ME an eva bracelet at the stage door” and everyone around me that Got It was laughing and saying yeah but reeve just made a face like “can’t relate rip you guys this one is MINE” and he was signing more playbills and i was like i am not wasting any time with this man in silence so i said “so uh this is gonna be really random but i loved you in taylor swift’s i knew you were trouble music video” he must have been so confused he was just like “yeah uh thanks it was? uh? a lot of fun” ajhsdgfudi so then after i was done passing playbills he was kind of moving down the line and i was like “WAIT REEVE CAN WE PLEASE GET A PHOTO” so he leaned back for us to take it and then he almost started moving away again but the guy behind me was trying to get his attention and he was like “mr. reeve” and we were all laughing so he goes “mr. reeve carney, mr. carney” and at the same time like three of us in unison went “mr. carney comma reeve” and THAT made him look up ajshdgfd he was prob like “get these freaks away from me” and then like the wind he was gone. but then i got tunnel vision for his shoes which i took a blurry photo of lmao but they were Great for the show aesthetic and yeah that was that. right after i met him this was how i described it in my notes: “reeve carney in person looks perpetually stressed and anxious i was 🥺”

extra extra read all about it:

so our restaurant was right down the block like two buildings over and we were eating outside and GUESS FUCKING WHAT yvette walked past and then a few minutes later REEVE WALKED PAST when yvette was walking i yelled “hi yvette you look so beautiful—uh i mean––still from before when i told you” and then reeve was walking past on his phone and i waved in what i can only describe as the wave the boy does in the “youre all going to hell” vine (appropriate lmao) and i yelled “hi reeve carney! i love you” he was like “hi haha thanks”