#also i wanna actually date someone local in the future

[gregmarriage]

i forgot that ppl know what my voice sounds like, bc i was about to make a whole post about hearing my own voice on mic, then i was like, yeah no, ppl are aware my voice is weird imaoooo

[jade-jini]

“My Ex’s Best Friend”

Kim Chaewon x Reader

Prompt: Your best friend NingNing is excited to introduce you to her new girlfriend (who turns out to be someone from your past) and to her best friend (who you expect to see more often in your future).

Genre: smut. Fluff. A little angst maybe?

TW: Public sex. Some dirty talking why not. Idk what else to put her I’m bad at this.

Also this has kinda a continuation (plot twist tho), go read it if you want I mean 👀👉🏼👈🏼.

You haven’t seen NingNing this excited about a girl in such a long time. It was such a change. A cute one, you thought. From not giving a fvck who she took to her bed to calling this mysterious girl “my girl” whenever she talked about her to you.

She explained to you how they met at the company she was currently training at, they became close in there but sadly the girl moved to another company. However, they kept in contact and eventually ended up becoming something more serious. She didn’t mention her before because she wanted to make sure it was actually serious before introducing her to somebody as important as you. When she said this you couldn’t help but to hit her shoulder ‘cause this girl was really turning her into a softie apparently. You were genuinely excited to meet this Yunjin girl already. The name bringing you some bittersweet memories of your own, but regardless of this, you were still so happy for your best friend.

At least until you actually met the girl. Wtf.

“Yunjin, this is Y/n, my best friend. Y/n, this is Yunjin. The girl I’ve been telling you about.” Your best friend said with an excited smile while holding your ex closer to her. Both you and the tall girl tried your best to hide the shock in your faces when you looked at each other for the first time in such a long time.

Yunjin and you have known each other for a looong time. After spending years as an exchange student in Korea, you traveled to New York during a summer. You wanted to simply relax. To let go, to not think too much about anything. It was your summer to be free. Of work. Of school. Of everything. That’s how you met Yunjin, a local girl who was born her own free spirit, and for whom you instantly fell. “New York days” you called it when you talked about it with NingNing. The thing is, you never really gave too much details about it to your friend. You played it as if it was just some adventures you’d have with some girl, nothing too important. In reality tho, it was, in the words of your heart, the best relationship you’ve ever had. A relationship that officially lasted just a summer, but the best experience both of you ever had. From random late night dates, going to the convenience store to buy snacks and eat it together in your back seat, looking at the stars and talking about everything. Going to the beach early in the morning, enjoying the cold water and the warmth of each other’s bodies. Sneaking in her room to give her the best sex she could get, and also the best cuddles. Dates to vintage music stores, listening to her sharing her dream of being a musician, and even listening to her songs as she played the guitar.

You didn’t know why you never really told NingNing the truth. Maybe you just didn’t wanna look too emotional when you first mentioned the girl. You and NingNing weren’t that close back then. And eventually, you just didn’t think it would make any difference since you weren’t expecting to see Yunjin ever again. But Yeah. She was important. And more than just some “girl you hooked up with from time to time in your summer in New York”. She was the first girl who made you cry when you had to of course breakup and say your goodbyes ‘cause you had to go back to Korea. ‘Cause you never thought there was a chance she’d be here too.

And she was also your best friend’s new girlfriend. Fuck.

But c’mon! You were over her! You’ve been over her for a long time already. God it was shocking to see her with NingNing, but nonetheless she was your friend’s happiness now. What could you do? Ning was happy, so you were happy. And they look nice together! You felt incredibly awkward as the third wheel, and even a little jealous. Not in a weird way tho, you just wished you too could have a pretty girl next to you at the moment, somebody who could distract your mind and heart from whatever that was starting to form in there, somebody who-

“Oh! Chaewonie is here!” Yunjin said after checking her phone, interrupting your train of thought as she opened the door and let in some girl who-

Oh.

Oh.

Some girl.

Nah that wasn’t just some girl. That was THE girl. That was a beautiful and so Fuckin hot girl and - who was this girl?!!!

“Ok guys, let me introduce you. Unnie this is Yi Zhuo, my girlfriend. And y/n, she is... she’s her best friend..” the tall girl said and thankfully the awkwardness was overshadowed by your best friend excitedly saying hi while hugging the short- haired girl, who mirrored the excitement. They seemed really happy to meet such an important person in Yunjin’s life. But again, who was this girl? And how could you get her number in your phone right now?! “guys, this is chaewon. My bestest best friend”.

“Nice to meet you, y/n” the girl said as she gave you a sweet smile.

Best friend? Uh oh.

I mean c’mon. Was it really that bad? Yunjin moved on. And with your own best friend! Was it that bad that you were looking at her best friend and the only thing you could think about was how perfect her clothes would look on your bedroom floor…

Ok calm down, y/n. You almost sound desperate you thought. Weren’t you tho

You all were currently hanging out at night around the city, enjoying the privacy 2:00 am gives. You guys were driving around chatting, sharing drinks (you Ofc, as the designated driver, were doing your best not to drink too much) and enjoying the music. NingNing Ofc wanted to sit with her girl so Chaewon ended up being your passenger. After driving around for a little bit you guys decided to stop at an empty little playground. If anybody saw the view there they’d either laugh at 4 clearly drunk dumbasses playing like kids, or they’d call the cops. NingNing and Yunjin couldn’t be more closer and playful with each other. Playing tag you’re it and holding each other while laughing. The view was so confusing for you.

You knew you were happy that your best friend found somebody who makes her feel like this. But it was.. uneasy to see it being with your ex, with the only person that made you feel special and understood once. What were you exactly sad about? You didn’t miss Yunjin, right?

Right?

You shook your head as you sat down on a bench. Sighing, you looked at the beautiful sky, getting lost counting stars.

“Hi there.” You heard a voice you were still not used to. “What you doing?” Chaewon asked while hitting your thigh in a friendly matter and sitting next to you, imitating how you looked so focused on the sky.

“I got tired, I’m just waiting for those two little toddlers to get tired too i guess” you joked, making her laugh. The cute sound of it made you look at her, already getting your heartbeat a little accelerated.

“Right? The adoption center didn’t tell me they were gonna be so hyped” she joked along making you laugh as well. You saw her shivered a bit. “Are you cold?” You asked her, already removing your jacket.

“Ah! You don’t have to..” she said softly, but you insisted, already placing them over her shoulders and she smiled at you “thank you”. (What you didn’t know is that was her plan actually).

You always had a thing for people using your clothes. You didn’t know if it was a possessive side of you or what, but it always had an effect on you if you were attracted to that person. For some reason your clothes always looked better. Chaewon probably noticed your eyes on her, ‘cause she was smiling at her mischievously.

“I’m sorry I-“ you started but she just laughed.

“It’s ok, you’re cute” she interrupted you, now with a little more flirtatious tone. You gulped, her eyes for some reason getting a shy side of you. She seemed to enjoy the effect she had on you. Licking her lips, she sat closer to you, her eyes hypnotizing you.

Chaewon and you talked for a bit about how long you’ve known your best friends. You learned her and Yunjin were training to debut together in a new group, but they had met before at a survival show, so they go a long way back. They only got close after starting training together at their new company. Yunjin clearly never mentioned you before, and you didn’t know exactly how to feel about it. For one side, it was sad that she never mentioned you to such important people in her life, but on the other side, the less people who knew about you guys, the best, you guess.

“How long do you think it’ll take until one of them throws up?” Chaewon said, getting you out of your head.

“If they do, I ain’t cleaning shit.” You said with a worried expression and a raise eyebrow. Your face making her laugh, once again the sound of it just giving you a warm feeling in your chest.

Surprisingly sooner than you’d think tho, the couple ran out of energy, and sat next to you two as they tried to catch their breath.

You went back to NingNing’s house ‘cause the two other best friends were gonna get their bags. The plan was to do that, get them home, and then come back to spend the rest of the night at NingNing’s. But of course, her gf had something else in mind.

“Hmmm I wanna stay with you babe~” she’d say to Ning, hiding her face against her neck. She was clearly drunk, and so was your friend, who looked at you with an apologetic smile. You simply rolled your eyes and shook your head, knowing what it meant.

“Let’s go, Chaewon. I’ll take you home. I think our best friends want the night alone.” You said while opening the front door. The short-haired girl said her goodbyes to her best friend and yours and got in the car with giggles after probably teasing Yunjin about whatever was gonna happen once the couple were alone. Great.

“Here, put your address please.” You asked her and she did, although a little hesitant at first. As you started driving, she was resting her head against the seat while looking through the window quietly. You assumed the alcohol was already making her sleepy, but it was more than that. Wonie didn’t want the night to end. Not yet. She didn’t feel like going home. She didn’t feel like ending the night away from you.

“You know “ she started, catching your attention after a few seconds of comfortable silence “Sometimes I wish I could find something like that. Like what they have. Doesn’t have to be a relationship ‘cause I don’t think I want that at the moment but, I guess it would be nice to have I don’t know, a person. You know what I mean?” Chaewon explained to you, who were listening mindfully to her words. Taking advantage of a red light, you looked at her, and she was already looking at you. “I don’t really wanna go home tonight, y/n. do you?”

You gulped, and simply shook your head. She signaled with her head the empty parking lot of the park you were at earlier that night with your friends and without having to think about it twice you parked there. You looked at Chaewon again, and she was carefully analyzing your reaction to her next words, feeling brave but mostly impossibly dragged to you.

“Then what should we do now?” she whispered, her face getting closer to yours until you could almost taste her mint breath mixed with whatever sweet drink she had. Fuck. It. (As in, the expression, not her face- anywayyyy).

Chaewon in one quick movement was already straddling you, making your heart beat so fast. You felt like a teenager sneaking out. You were having a little rush of adrenaline again after so long. And you liked it. I mean, who wouldn’t die to have such a pretty girl on your lap like that. Seeing your expression, Chaewon couldn’t help but giggle a bit before taking your lips in a deep kiss. Both of you moaned on each other’s mouths, the taste of your tongue on hers driving her insane already, making her so sensitive that every subtle move you did under her was making a sweet noise escape from her lips. You grabbed her waist, keeping her as close as possible.

Once you separated a bit to catch your breath, you looked into her eyes and could see the reflection of your lust in them.

“I swear your lips were made to kiss mine” she said in between a little giggle, leaving more kisses on your lips. You smiled at her, wondering how could someone be so cute in this situation, and making the mistake of remembering there was a person who once made you wonder the same thing.

You shook your head a little bit in order to get that thought out of your head, and went back to focusing on the girl in your arms at the moment. As Chaewon starting eagerly kissing your neck while undoing your shirt, your hands went under her skirt to her ass, grabbing it and leaving some spanks from time to time, making the girl whimper against your skin.

“Harder, please…” she begged, and that turned you on so much that you couldn’t help but to make her get on all fours. The sudden change of position and how easy it was for you to handle her like that made her squeal in excitement, knowing she was gonna have a lot of fun with you. Your hand once again impacted against the pale skin, harder than before this time. Chaewon cried, but you saw her pushing her ass closer to you, in a way of asking for more you assumed.

“You like it rough, princess?” You asked teasingly, your hips against her ass as your hands felt it and went up and down her back. She didn’t answer, instead just left out a little whimper as you saw her head softly nod. You just clicked your tongue at that “Use your words, I don’t read minds” you told her, your tone still the same. She whimpered again before murmuring something “what was that?”

“I said yes.. i like it rough, ma’am.”

“That’s a good girl.” You said as you pulled her hair to make her look at you and steal another deep kiss from her. Your hands traveled to her panties, removing them quickly and throwing them somewhere in your car. Fixing her position, putting her ass up a bit, you saw her glistening pussy and you could feel your mouth drool. Suddenly you felt like you haven’t had a single drop of water in your whole life. Not losing any time, you started eating her out, moaning at the perfect taste the girl had. “God that’s such a good pussy” you groaned while spanking her once again. “Come here, open your mouth.” You told her, pulling her hair to get her up, and making her suck on two of your fingers. Chaewon made sure to give a show for you, sucking and licking on them like she was giving you a blowjob. So sensual as she looked into your eyes with a look that was begging for something, and both of you knew you’d give her that and more.

You were biting your lip as you looked at her, the feeling of her tongue around your fingers was turning you on so much that you almost couldn’t wait to feel it on the rest of your body. “That’s.. that’s good, turn around for me” you asked her, and you saw her smile mischievously as she obeyed, returning to her previous position. You sighed at the view of her bare ass up like that for you. Slowly putting your fingers inside and hearing her long soft cry, you decided to tease her other hole with your other hand, slightly brushing with your thumb to see if she was ok with it.

Chaewon was a little surprised at the feeling but didn’t reject it as she pushed closer to your hands, enjoying the stimulations. Therefore, you decided to add your mouth to the game, teasing her asshole with the tip of your tongue.

“A-Ahh, y/n…” you heard her moan. You looked up, to make sure she was ok “more, please…”

Oh. Oh.

“Whatever you say, princess” you answered with a soft giggle before going back to your job. Your fingers moved at a decent pace, following your tongue as you ate the girl out. The sweet sounds coming out of her, slowly become more desperate, multiple “more”, “faster, please” only motivated you to keep going until your roughness had her grabbing the seat hard to steady herself.

“Fuck, y/n, so good, please…” she said in between loud whimpers. “Close..” you heard her say.

“Close? You wanna cum already, pretty girl?” You asked her, looking at her as she looked back, and receiving eager nods and soft pleads while she pouted “Aww you’re so cute, how to say no to you?” You cooed, her pretty eyes melting your heart. Picking up your pace, you fingered her fast and deep, your other hand now back to spanking her ass to then softly caress the zone, and your mouth now attached to her clit for more stimulation.

It didn’t take long for Chaewon to finish hard with a long loud moan, leaving her breathless. The sensation of her pussy tightening around your fingers and the taste of her orgasm leaving you addicted. After cleaning her up with your mouth (more for you than for her), you cleaned your own fingers. As the girl lied there for a bit, you were ready to just take care of her and take her home so she could rest if that’s what she needed.

But surprisingly, Chaewon had other plans.

“You’re so fucking good, you know?” She cutely giggled while slowly going back to your lap, hugging you by your shoulders. You smiled at her, your eyes almost looking like little crescents. “Ready to go home?” You asked her while passing your hands across her back. The girl looked confused “home? But, we’re not done yet though, are we?” She said while kissing your neck, her hands going to your zipper.

“I-I mean, I thought maybe you were tired already and just wanted me to take you home you know” you tried talking, but the way she moved on top of you and the little bites she was leaving on your skin were taking your breath away.

“What, you think I’m just a pillow princess?” She whispered in your ear, making you gulped. “Lay down for me baby, let me make you feel good too.” She said and didn’t have to repeat herself.

“Yes ma’am” you told her as you rested on the seat, your arms under your head. Chaewon quickly removed your pants and underwear, and put your shirt up so she could play with your chest.

“Hmm this is bothering me.” She said while taking your bra off without taking your shirt off too, just ‘cause she thought the view of you with your shirt up was hot. You were impressed at how fast she did that, but couldn’t process anything as her mouth went directly to play with your nipple.

“Holy fuck..” you sighed while receiving stimulation in such a sensitive zone for you. Chaewon switched from one nipple to the other, taking her sweet taking enjoying the feeling and taste of your tits in her mouth and hands. “They’re so fucking pretty” she whispered against your skin, leaving a soft bite in one of them that made you jump. Chaewon giggled at your reaction, and brought a finger to your mouth so you could do what she did earlier and make it wet. Her mouth continued her job while she looked up at you. After you made sure to lick it nice and wet, her hand traveled down your body, playing with your clit.

Soft groans and moans escaped your mouth as you fought to keep your eyes open, the sensation being too good, but so was the view of her sucking on your tits. You stroked her hair softly while she was there, but felt her go down your body too, leaving a trail of kisses everywhere. The anticipation turning you on more and more (if that was even possible).

Once the girl was between your legs, she left a slowly and long lick all over your pussy. “Fuuuck… Wonie..” you moaned at the contact. She did this a few more times, each time loving the reaction you had. “Please stop playing with me, please” you begged her and her smirk made you scared for a moment, thinking that maybe she was into torturing you like this.

“Aww but you have such cute reactions, baby” she cooed, and you decided you could play the same game as her. If she wanted cute.

“Please Wonie, please…” you asked her with the cutest pout you could do, almost looking like you were gonna cry. You saw her as she whispered a little “fuck..” and rolled her eyes, giving up.

“Fine, fine! Such an impatient one, aren’t we” she teased before finally giving you what you wanted, messily eating your pussy out. You squealed, while grabbing her hair to make sure she stayed right there. The way she looked up to you, pure lust in her eyes, was just extra stimulation for you. The feeling of her lips and tongue traveling all over your pussy, and the vibrations that her moans caused, they were building up your orgasm rather quick. You didn’t know if it was because of the alcohol you had earlier (even though you barely had any) or just how amazing chaewon was with her tongue, not slowing down even for a second to let you catch your breath.

“Your pussy tastes so good, y/n” she said while replacing her mouth with her finger on your clit for just a second.

“Oh my god, Wonie…” you moaned loudly.

“Mhm that’s it, keep saying my name baby” the girl said and you obeyed.

Her mouth attached to your cunt, reaching every sensitive spot making it hard to stay still. Your hands kept moving, from her hair, to your nails on her back, to even scratching your own chest because of how insanely good she was making you feel. The view she was getting only pushing her to eat you out more eagerly, moaning against your pussy and that just made everything feel even better if that was possible.

Coming in her mouth and she took it all so well her eyes were rolling ‘cause god didn’t you taste amazing. Seeing you lying down on that backseat, trying to catch your breath just made her want you more and more. She needed to have you all night and that was her plan.

“Hey, should we maybe you know, take this to my place?” She asked, looking at you with those sparkling eyes and how could you say no to chaewon? When you wanted her just as much?

Such a cold night in Seoul, but neither of you felt anything else than the warmth of each other’s bodies as you learn every centimeter of that beautiful girl. And the fact that your ex and your best friend were probably in the same situation? Didn’t cross your mind once.

[magicmindless]

hello yes... i would like to order some headcanons... carlo flavour please :]

A HC List but it’s just Carlo Romano

Portallinis pretty boy

-Speaking of which, everyone Romano has a title to them they’re famously known for. As for Carlo, his title is “Portallinis sweetheart”

-Despite fame, Carlo is a very humble person. He lives up to his reputation of being the sweetheart of the quartet, though he has pretty low self-esteem

-He’s a pretty decent singer. His voice is very smooth and soft like a cinnamon bun, albeit a more limited range than Bruna. Because of this he prefers not to sing for the official quartet albums or singles despite how much fans beg him to

-However, he does plan on someday making a solo album in the future. He still wants to be part of the band, but it’d be neat for him to create music which he can truly call his own

-Though Gino is his cousin, he sees him like a big brother. Gino used to give him piggy-back rides as a kid and even taught him the basics of string instruments. He always credits Gino for his skills whenever he can

-He’s best friends with Deano (currently teehee) and has been friends with him since childhood. He even used to sneak away from band practices just to see him

-When his mom died, Deano attempted to write Carlo a poem trying to cheer him up. Deano insists the poem is kind of ass but Carlo still keeps it on a pinboard in his room to this day

-In return, when Deanos mentor, Maximo Del Mare passed away Carlo wrote a song for Deano to try and ease his grieving

-He can’t whistle. Not matter how much Deano has tried to teach him he can’t get the hang of whistling, which balances out the fact Deano can’t sing

-In my hc Koilee was the one who got the Scooperia first. Carlo got a job there as a delivery boy during his hiatus from the band because he was feeling uninspired and bored with being in the band

-He really isn’t picky with what music he likes. He can like just about anything

-Unsurprisingly, being famous has a lot of downsides, which he’s expressed on Hugo’s podcast where they both got to discuss their struggles within their music careers (not knowing if people wanna genuinely be friends or if they want clout, burnout, etc.)

-Deals with imposter syndrome. He got mortified when Hugo told him on his podcast that between the 2, even without the the rest of his family Carlo was much more famous than Hugo was, even joking that the views on his podcast would probably skyrocket just by having Carlo in it. It’s not that he was wrong, but it made Carlo wonder if he truly deserved his fame, because he could name more than a few music artists, including Hugo, who were much more talented than him and didn’t even have half of his fame (…wait that’s actually a good fanfic idea someone should write that *cough cough* @sosoribro you know what to do *COUGH COUGH*/nf)

-He identifies as biromatic asexual, and it makes him uncomfortable whenever people try to speculate what his sexuality could be (it’s not usually the fans, they’re pretty nice, but particular journalists who try and speculate via his interactions with other celebrities)

-Has only dated once in his life, and it was a girl back in high school. They didn’t end on good terms

-He always carries snacks with him in a backpack, and always likes sharing them whenever he can. He just thinks food tastes better shared with others

-Has pet rats and loves them all dearly, but is also ironically a cat magnet. One of his and Deano’s favorite things to do as kids was to pet the stray cats they ran into

-Incredibly stylish. He doesn’t buy designer clothes (most of his clothes come from thrift stores or local clothing stores I imagine), nor does he always dress up in whatever’s trending, but he does sometimes study how men dress in fashion magazines

-He was a bit hesitant towards Olga at first, seeing her as just his dad merely replacing their mom, but he grew to like her with time

-Learned how to knit from Olga, and the first thing he did was his new skill was make a scarf for Deano

[imaginary-things-nothing-else]

Masterpost of Finished Fanfics, Current WIPs and Future WIPs

Everything listed here is a (mostly) fully formed story with at least some kind of plot going on. I have many, many story concepts in my head that could turn into actual stories, but for the moment, these are the fully formed ones that are most prominently bopping around in my head. 

Current Work in Progress (CWIP) = The story I am currently posting or working on as my main wip.

Future Work in Progress (FWIP) = The story I hope to work on next.

I will be separating these by fandom under the cut.

Dadneto/XMCU

1. pictures in my head [COMPLETED] Erik arrives at the school for the first time since he left after X-Men Apocalypse. Peter struggles with becoming comfortable around his father and with the idea of telling him that he’s his son. Also there’s a new Brotherhood that’s forming in the meantime.  2. We don’t talk about Erik (CWIP): Loosely based on Encanto’s “We Don’t Talk About Bruno” song. Not a songfic. It takes a look at Peter and Wanda and their relationship with the concept of their father when they were young. Kind of a Maximoff family character study. Featuring a much bigger Maximoff family with uncles, aunts and cousins.  3. Untitled Dadneto fanfics: Three different fanfics, each focusing on Peter, Wanda and Lorna and their relationships with Erik. Set in the far future where Peter is married to Crystal and Luna is 5 years old.  4. you’re the one I wanna go through time with (CrySilver Romance): A prequel to the above three fanfics focusing on Peter and Crystal’s relationship going from their initial meetings to their marriage and having Luna. It also includes Wanda’s introduction into the XMCU. (Disclaimer: Crystal is much different than her comic book counterpart, and Wanda is not MCU Wanda, she is my own character more based of her comics version.) 5. Untitled Lorna and Peter fanfic: When Lorna shows up at the mansion revealing that Erik is her father, Peter is shocked to find someone in the same situation as him and is glad to have a sister again. Will Lorna be able to convince him to also come clean to Erik? Focuses a lot on Lorna and Peter’s relationship. Wanda is dead rip 6. Untitled First Class AU (FWIP): What if Erik knew about Peter and Wanda and had to babysit them for a day at the mansion while the X-Men are training in First Class? 7. Father and Son: A Dadneto Anthology: This is just a bunch of Dadneto reveals. I have so many different ideas for reveals and I figured I could just put them all in one place since not all of them have turned into fully fledged fanfics.

Miraculous Ladybug

1. The Color of Your Eyes [COMPLETED]: Marinette writes a letter about her date with Adrien to Chat Noir late at night. A songfic. Originally posted on my main blog. 2. A Kitten for Chat Noir: Chat Noir feels lonely and finds himself bonding with an abandoned kitten one snowy night.  3. 20 Questions: Ladybug and Chat Noir decide to reveal their identities and start by playing 20 questions. 

Marvel Comics

I do have another sideblog @just-a-local-lunatic​ where I will be posting most of these first since that is my Marvel Comics sideblog, but I will be reblogging them here.

1. Untitled FrankLuna series: All of the fics listed below are part of this story. Basically it is a long series that will follow Franklin Richards and Luna Maximoff and how they develop and fall in love. 2. Kidnapped...Again [COMPLETED]: Franklin Richards and Luna Maximoff get kidnapped...again. Posted originally on my FrankLuna sideblog.  3. Of Siblings and Sea Monsters: When the Fantastic Four are taken by a sea monster, Franklin and Valeria must enlist the help of Namor the Sub-Mariner.  4. Home Alone: Franklin, Valeria and the Future Foundation get left home alone. Disaster strikes. Obviously.  5. Of Latveria and Libraries: Franklin and his first crush, Sara Jessen, do a school report on Latverian history. 

Miscellaneous

1. burning stars: A Narnia/Silver Chair fanfic about Prince Rilian adjusting to life after being rescued by Jill and Eustace and learning how to live and love again.  2. Untitled Jeyna fanfic: A story where Reyna fights Death to get Jason back from the Underworld based on the concepts of myth of Alcestis.  3. Untitled Post TROS Reylo fanfic : Rey goes on a long quest to find a way to bring Ben Solo, the other half of her soul, back to life. Along the way she makes new friends and runs into old ones. Not a retcon of The Rise of Skywalker, mainly canon compliant.  4. In Which Megan Comes To Ingary: Set in the Howl’s Moving Castle book universe and set after the third book, House of Many Ways. About Megan and Howl’s relationship, their past and their future as siblings. Also a bit of mystery around who their father was. 

Side Note:

I also have a writing account on Instagram where I write my original stories if you’re interested. Here is a link for it. And here is a link to my AO3. 

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So if there is a certain story you’d like to ask me about or that you’d like me to write next, please use the ask box! I would love to hear from you!

With all that done, currently, I am in the process of  drafting ‘We don’t talk about Erik’.  

[nyxfaei]

ACTUALLY HERES THE AU SO FAR-

it’s mostly focusing on the ORG XIII characters and it’s just sort of a very rough idea right now. I’ll definitely be expanding more in the future

-partially Centers on luxord, a reporter with a gambling addiction, who is investigating a small town in probably the pacific northwest that is down for a long string of children going missing dating back for years- and also recently children showing up

-luxord is staying at a lodge run by ansem the old- lexaeus, xaldin, and zexion work different jobs there. Vexen is using the facilities for his various environmental research there.. Which he is very private about.

-Xaldin eventually begrudgingly offers luxord a place at his home because he has an extra room and staying so many days in the lodge is starting to add up and the company he works for wasn’t counting on this taking so long

-Marley runs a florist place- Something that luxord is investigating is missing people’s which involves strelitzia. Marly has been torn up about this and has been looking for answers for years now

-xion similarly appeared under mysterious circumstances as a kid. Nobody knows where she came from and even she cant remember. She was found by xigbar in the middle of the woods and she currently lives with him.

-xigbar is also an anomaly. He just rode into town one day out of the blue and settled into a cabin on the outskirts of it. Noone really knows what he does for a living and noone knows how he lost his eye. He’ll just make up a new story every time if you ask him.

-xigbar will regularly sit outside his house at night with a radio, a cold one, and a gun. He wont tell anyone why. Whenever xion asks he just ruffles her hair and goes “dont worry about it poppet”

- zexion also showed up much in the same way as xion years before. He was adopted by vexen and has grown quite adjusted

- Namine is Ansem the olds kid but no one really knows who her mom is and she’s always been a bit strange. She’s super friendly though but just odd. She seems to be able to draw pictures that predict things. Her and xion get along instantly

-Demyx is a local musician that does a lot of folk music but also isn’t afraid to branch out but he’s also just sort of weird. He showed up in town a few years ago as a traveling musician but just stuck around

-larxene is the town mechanic because I think that would be very hot of her. Marluxias bestie and her shop is right next to his. She was also a friend of strelitzia and is also looking for answers

-OMX is mayor. Eraqus is his husband and runs the welcome center which is also a cafe- Aqua and terra and ven work at it

-Baldr was an ex classmate of theirs back in the day. He’s blamed for the disappearance of many of their classmates since he seemed to get more violent after his sister died. Idk if he’s locked up, dead or if he disappeared

But the disappearance of the missing classmates is seen as a huge mark on the towns past

-Xemnas and Ansem SOD are OMX's kids and they’re also rikuss uncles. riku lives with ansem SOD since his mother passed away. YMX is his older brother who lives alone

-Saix works as the town reporter and is often accompanying luxord on his investigations- somewhat to his annoyance because he prefers working alone.

-xemnas runs the town newspaper

-axel also works for the paper but unlike saix he stays in the building and works as an editor… though he will sometimes come with saix

-saix and axel live together along with roxas. Roxas is axels little brother and also good friends with namine and xion.

-roxas is cousins with ven jdhkjfhkhf

-ven and vanitas are twins

-Ansem SOD works as a teacher at the local school

-Yen Sid is the principal

-the KH kids sort of hang out together in a big friendgroup since theyre very weary about someone going missing

-I wanna say the main FF7 characters (zack, cloud, tifa, aerith, etc) work at a bar and lounge lmao. I’m not gonna do too much placement of the FF characters because I don’t know too much about them but they DO live there

-idk who the sherif and cops are… i love the kingdom hearts characters too much for that. Its probably some disney or FF characters. Maybe one can be sephiroth LMAO

-Cid is an electrician in town

-The town also has some Disney characters but they don’t play too much of a role. Like the evil stepmother and her girls are like the rich family in town. Merlin and the fairy godmother are the sweet old couple in town and Cinderella is their daughter, etc

-dusks and heartless are local legends. A lot of people say they see them around at nightfall. Theres a lot of discussion on if theyre real or not

-eraqus is a huge believer in the paranormal. Hes convinced that theres a prevalent evil/darkness in the woods

-there is something very off about Xigbar and the mountain that they live on

-The town is called twilight town and is located on a mountain known as Mount Hearts

[hyukalyptus]

omg hi i’m a little embarrassed to send this off anon and this might be a little long and tmi but i went to get a body scrub and massage today (bc treat yourself!!) and so i was pretty much naked the entire time except for a pair of disposable underwear

now i’m pretty ticklish so i said to avoid my stomach when doing the treatment but was ok with my bum and chest to be done. all was going pretty well until i was asked to flip over so the therapist could work on my front bc she still scrubbed my stomach area anyway!!

i got a little giggly and squirmed a bit bc it tickled and she said “oh you’ll get used to it” and tbh i did get used to it and it wasn’t so bad after a bit but i just found it kinda strange that she also gently (and i assume rhetorically??) asked “you’re a virgin, aren’t you?” bc i was sensitive/ticklish about being touched esp around my hips and pelvic area

she said it in our local language and used a euphemism so it didn’t sound nearly as blunt as it is in english and i know she wasn’t being rude or judgemental about it but i’m just a bit in shock that she clocked that i am a virgin ???? 😭

idk i guess i’m feeling a little insecure bc other people assume i must have dated a lot at my age (late 20’s) and probs have had sex before but in truth i’ve never actually been in a serious relationship and i’m demisexual so i just… didn’t really think about sex much until fairly recently (ironic bc i follow and love ur account but imo, reading about sex is completely different from me thinking about having sex myself iykwim?)

ANYWAY, i know you’ve said you’re open to talk about sex and stuff so if you’re okay with sharing, what are some things you or your partner/s have done to make you feel more comfortable with physical intimacy/sex, esp when it was your first time?

hi anon!

first, i'm so sorry someone overstepped boundaries you specifically set with them. let me know if you wanna talk about this specifically more. if ur not comfy, that's totally fine, but i hope you have someone you can talk to about this with.

and it's totally normal to be a virgin at your age! i actually have several friends that are 25+ and are virgins, for multiple reasons and all of them are valid. and i definitely understand being more comfortable reading about sex than having sex. they're two completely different things!

but yes of course! the main thing for me is communication. my partner needs to be comfortable with feedback and communication, which seems like it might be a given, but there are many people that aren't secure enough to be communicated with during sex, which is not okay. someone should be secure enough to understand and follow communication and boundaries and the minute they don't, it's okay to stop. you don't owe them anything of course!

specific things though, i like when they tell me (or ask) what they're gonna do before they do it, go slower, let me set the pace, checking in with me. that kinda thing. other things like having a discussion beforehand about limits and stuff, and ofc setting a safe word!

and then there's been times where i've wanted to stop in the middle of things and they're understanding and actually stop without making me feel weird and guilty. that makes me feel safer with them in the future. which again, may should be a given, but that's not always the case. but consent is ongoing!!

and this is none of my business, but i'd also recommend being open with a potential partner about being a virgin. i think it'd make you more comfortable! but again, that's your decision and none of my B I business.

[brokeass-dumbass]

Okay so I have this fantasy, in a future where I've found either a fun kinky friend group/dungeon club with much gear, or an extra kinky Dom gf who has a little more toy money than I do atm, or both... I really wanna do a meds vacation (ie: a weekend to two weeks off my adhd medicine, which was recommended to me by my doctor as a way to keep my body from needing a higher dosage prescription too often), in bondage. :3c

Cuz, like, going off my meds is torture. I can't focus, I'm unstimulated and get bored, which makes me depressed... I know I SHOULD do a meds vacay like a couple times a year, but I'm actually pretty scared of trying to do that on my own. I'd need someone to take care of me a bit while I'm off meds, to make sure I actually eat and don't get sucked into a depression well... but I'm also way more moody/have less control over my emotional regulation when I haven't taken my meds, which means I'm kinda a bitch and annoying to be around without my meds. :-/

Buuttt, if a lil bit of good old bdsm was involved... well, that sounds more fun for everyone, doesn't it?? >:3c A weekend off meds, but strapped up snug as a bug in a straitjacket, being tended to, tormented and teased by a mad scientist girlfriend??? Or locked in full body prisoner restraints, sentenced to wash the fucking dishes and whatever else the corrupt warden of the space prison demands of me???? Maybe a bit of each????? Gagged and bound while she shaves off my hair and I pretend to cry, as if a nicey buzzed and super sensitive scalp isn't exactly what i wanted in the first place???????? >w<

Or maybe just a quiet, normal week off meds... but she keeps my ankles shackled and bans me from getting online??? >:3c And probably some other, spicier things, but I'm trying to keep this blog marginally PG-13. ///=u=///

I've kinda known I was a kinky fuck for some years, but can you believe I didn't realize I was a sub until the pandemic hit? (Something something self bondage, something something business boom for bdsm gear shops. We've all seen the articles right. :B) But what do I do with this knowledge?? How do I meet local kinksters/meet and date kinky lesbians or bi chicks (nb inclusive in both cases, im an nb lesbian myself)? ...Renfaires? Join a d&d group? Get into LARPing?? Hrmm.....

[quicksilverownsmysoul]

Hey I was wondering if you could do a fic or some headcannons of any character with a Hispanic reader teaching them more about their culture and meeting their parents? Idk it’s something special for Hispanic heritage month<3 (ofc you don’t have to do it if you don’t wanna)

Okay but I would love to do that!!! Love this !!! thank you anon for sending this in. Buckle up y’all cause this is gonna be headcannons for the Evans and they are gonna be hella long!!! (Also feel free to send in more x Hispanic reader requests for any character ) I also have a Peter x Hispanic reader in the works

The Evans with a Hispanic/ Latinx Reader (GN)

Tate

- literally in love with you

- gets really into the telenovelas but won’t ever admit it to you

- would be so nervous to meet your parents for multiple reasons (one being cause he was a literal ghost)

- when you met him you like did the sign of the cross and tried all those old tricks to free his spirit

- he was very amused

- I feel like your parents wouldn’t like him too much, they don’t like his energy

- it’s crushes him but he acts like he doesn’t care

- you still date him and tell him he doesn’t need their approval

- would love to hear about your culture especially all the ghost stories and superstitions

Kit

- fascinated with the low rider community

- literally wants to learn about all of them so you take him to meet up so he can talk to the mechanics behind it

- they make a lot of jokes about him calling him gringo and asking why this white man is here but he just laughs with them

- they actually all take a liking to him and how accepting he is

- he gets invited to all future meetups and helps work on some of the cars

- loves to learn cumbias and dances with you

- always twirling you around the kitchen

- your parents liked him well enough, thought he was polite but worried about how he would support you

- but after seeing how much he loved and respected you they were sold on him

- if you speak Spanish he’ll try to learn a couple phrases for you

Kyle

- wants to learn everything about you and your culture if you wanna share it with him

- always willing to listen your opinions when it comes to Hispanic/Latinx representation in media

- loves to watch telenovelas and will get huffy if you watch them without him

- he’ll gasp at the perfect times too and get really invested

- likes it when you sing Spanish lullabies to him, cradling him in your arms as you play with his hair

- he was so nervous to meet your parents, practiced what he was going to say about a million times

- probably had his friends pose as mock parents and have them reject him so he’d be prepared for the worst

- but your parents love him. Literally think he’s so ambitious and a perfect gentleman.

- They immediately asked when you two were getting married

Jimmy

- loves all the music, literally always humming a Juan Gabriel song or a Richie Valens song

- obsessed with Selena, has a poster of her in his cavern

- he bought it after you introduced him to her. When he hears dreaming of you tho all he can think about is you. Especially when you aren’t there and all he wants to do is hold you in his arms

- Was scared of meeting your parents, put it off for as long as possible.

- he knew you’re parents didn’t think anybody was good enough for you and he was sure they’d hate him too

- wore his gloves when y’all went, trying his best to seem respectable

- your parents were still wary of him tho, making it clear that they didn’t like that he was in a freak show. Didn’t think that life was for their kid

- you stand up for him and yourself and jimmy has never been more proud in his life

- tells you how much he loves you the entire ride home

- Loves when you rub vapor rub on his chest after a long day

- Loves all the candies from the mercados, like the peanut patties

James

- charmed by absolute everything about you

- was a little of ignorant when your first met him, his era imposing a very stereotypical view of you and your culture

- you help to teach him about your culture and break him out of that mindset

- he wants to learn and change for you and as time passes he does. Kills anyone who even says anything remotely racist to you 

- Like kit he is very into dancing your traditional dances with you

-probably rehearses it to perfection and puts on a recital for the whole hotel to watch

- fascinated with the concept of death in your culture

- Loves the fashion of it all 

- You introduce him to Raul Julia movies and he’s just starring at the screen like why am I in this movie???

Colin

- Will try and cook your favorite dishes for you but it’s a pain to get him to try it

- He’s a little put off by all the flavors but for you he will try it all

- He cannot handle the heat, anything that has even a hint of spice he will be dying. He tires to play it cool and be like that was good but the minute you excuse yourself he’s gulping milk down by the gallon

- Loves pan dulce, always has one with his coffee

- Loves to go to the markets with you and shop around for local ingredients

- You give him a little cross to wear and he never takes it off, always around his neck

- Will go to church with you every Sunday if you want, like you did as a kid

- If you get married he will be all for that traditional wedding, wanting you to embrace your culture as much as you want

- The family makes fun of him in Spanish and you have to stop youtrself from laughing with them

- Your parents like him but they think he’s a little goofy

- He was so flustered when he met them but in the end it all worked out. 

Warren

- Loves all of your traditions, he has so much fun learning them with you

- Adores abuileta hot chocolate, it won’t even be cold and he’s drinking it all day long

- Unlike Colin he can handle the spice, will do challenges with your family to see who can eat the spiciest tamales or just straight up eat a jalapeno

- If anyone tries to make fun of you he will fight them, yelling about how ignorant they are and how he will kick their ass back to Europe if they keep talking like that. 

- He someone is best friends with your grandparents, always offering to help and charming them 

- You are amazed and how he had them wrapped around his finger, watching as they pinch his cheeks and call him handsome in English and Spanish

- Your parents aren't too fond of him and don’t like that his parents are divorced but your grandparents just shush them and say that he’s perfect

- Always so smug now that he has their approval

Peter 

- Eats everything and anything you or your family makes

- Loves it all and is  wiling to try anything once, even menudo 

- Your grandma is always trying to feed him, saying that he’s too skinny and needs to eat more

- He has to like disappear after the fifth plate because she won't stop feeding him

- Your Spanish speaking family members call him Pedro

- loves the big happy family vibes never had that growing up 

- always playing with the little cousins at parties and jumping with them in the bounce house

- fights them over the piñata candy 

- He was nervous to meet your parents, nearly passing out when your dad starred him down at the door

- They all love him though and like how respectful he is around you 

- The aunts and older cousins are always gushing over his hair and asking if they can style it 

Charles

- big sweetheart

- Next to Kyle he is the most beloved by the family

- They always say how sweet he is and how pretty he is. Loves that he always brings something for parties, and usually makes it himself

- But since they found out he’s into photography he becomes the designated photographer for all events. Your cousins all hiring him for weddings and birthdays 

- You buy him a big fluffy blanket with one of those giant animals one it and it’s his favorite thing

- Loves to cook with you, always rolling out tortillas as you guys sing in the kitchen

Taglist: @coffeeandteaintheevening @kitwalkerangel  @livingmybestfictionallife @amourtentiaa @shlutnutt @rottenstyx @mossybank 

[babyboibucky]

Should’ve Known Better

Pairing: EB!Frank x Reader

Summary: You should have known better than to sleep with a friend.

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: Smut, FWB set-up, a little bit of toxic shit, angst

A/N: Frank got the most votes when I asked which other Seb character I should write for, so here it is! This is very personal to me lmfao it’s somewhat based on my own experience that really fucked me up a couple of years ago aksncajscna no but for real, stay away from the friends with benefits kind of relationship if you can’t keep shit purely sexual lmao also some guys are just fucking assholes even if they’re your friend lol

ALSO, I tagged those who are in my Everything Bucky Tag List. I’m not sure if I’ll write more Frank in the future too so I won’t be creating a separate tag list for him yet.

MAIN MASTERLIST

"Do you love me?"

It was a simple question that was supposed to make you think. Given your experiences and your personality in general, you were supposed to cringe and ignore it. Maybe even make a joke out of it, especially that it was Frank who was asking you this question.

He wasn't supposed to ask it too. He wasn't one to ask such thing, not especially with the relationship that the both of you have. It was clear from the get go that this was nothing serious.

So why was he asking it now?

And why did you respond to it right away, as if you knew your answer even before he asked?

-

"Come on, it'll be fun."

You should've said no. You should have known better.

"I'll make you feel good, you won't regret this."

It did feel good, you were going to give Frank that. Possibly the best, even. But the latter part? You weren't so sure. Were you regretting it? Honestly, no.

Maybe not yet.

You'd rather not think about it for now.

"What's there to lose? We know each other too much to develop feelings anyway, you said so yourself."

Oh there's plenty to lose. Maybe a decade's worth of platonic (was it really platonic from the beginning though?) friendship. Your self-esteem was on the line too, but you didn't know it yet. You'll get there though, whether you like it or not.

"I'm free next Friday, come over. Spend the night with me. What do you say?"

You should've said no. You should have known better.

"Next Friday. I'll see you, okay?"

You should've said no. You should have known better.

"Ugh, fine."

But you said yes because you didn't know any better.

-

That first night with Frank was something else. It was fun and he kept his promise to make you feel good. So, so good. You never thought that sex could be that fucking good. At least, not with your previous partners. Not that you had many in the first place.

But god, Frank knew what he was doing and he loved doing things to you. He loved the entire process of knowing your body, what you liked and what you loved. How you liked to be kissed and touched and fucked.

He studied your body like his fucking life depended on it and you let him. You let him own your body because you needed someone to. You needed to feel something, wanted to have a purpose even for just a short while, even if it meant being someone's fuck buddy.

You felt lost for the longest time, but as you laid on Frank's bed with his tongue lapping up your cunt, you actually felt like you belonged somewhere.

-

You weren't a booty call, definitely not. And when things escalated between the both of you, Frank was already single and had broken off with his recent girlfriend, Daphne. You weren't a doormat nor a side chick. Frank had been your friend for the longest time, one of your closest actually. He knew you the best and not just physically. Frank knew the darkest parts of you the same way you knew him like the back of your hand. He was the most open to you, he said so himself.

"I don't know what I'd do without you." he told you one time.

Frank wasn't afraid to show you his true colors; how he wasn't the kind to settle for one or how he would often end up with someone immature or toxic. He himself was toxic and for the most part, you tolerated him.

That was the mistake on your part.

You let him be himself, that's why you held a special place in his heart. Not even his past girlfriends could get rid of you. You were untouchable.

"Are you sure she's fine with us going out?" you asked Frank one time, as the both of you headed to the movies.

He scoffed, "Yeah, don't worry. I already told her you're my best friend. You're off limits." he chuckled as he placed his hand on the small of your back, guiding you inside the cinema.

"You're fine." he reassured again, this time wrapping his arm around your shoulder and then cradling your head playfully.

-

Looking back, you sometimes ponder whether the friendship was really platonic. You were sure of it when the both of you first became friends; he was a couple of years older than you. You sort of looked up to him like an older brother for the first few years of your relationship. And he was very caring too, always looking out for you.

Your other friends were the first one to notice the closeness. They often told you that Frank seemed to have a thing for you. You brushed it off though, saying that it was impossible.

His girlfriend then was an acquaintance of yours. She was nice and wasn't bothered by how Frank was affectionate towards you.

Indeed, you were untouchable. You were the best friend after all.

-

"We fought again."

You rolled your eyes at Frank as he sat across from you at a local coffee shop near your place. It was your birthday and as always, you spent the most part of it with Frank.

It was like a tradition already, to celebrate your birthday with Frank first before you went out with your friends. Or even family. It was that kind of friendship.

"I'm sorry but who are we talking about again?" you joked.

Frank made a face, "Daphne." he responded. "I just told you about her like, two days ago."

You snickered, "I was kidding. But honestly though, you have to stop flirting with other girls. It's been really difficult for me to keep track of your record, Frank. And are you and Daphne even official?" you asked, taking a sip from your cold brew.

He rubbed his chin and shrugged, "Sorta. Well, we were official two weeks ago. Now though, I'm not so sure. Here's the thing, Daphne can be really..." he said, trying to search for the right words.

You hummed and shook your head, "Immature?" you said and mindlessly scrolled through your phone.

"You should really stop dating girls who are immature, Frank. I swear to god, this is like...I don't know, the fifth time you dated someone like her? Why don't you settle for someone who actually acts her age?" you blurted out.

Frank groaned and transferred to the seat next to you, his body facing yours and his hand landing on your thigh. You didn't mind, didn't think it was too touchy or intimate for someone who was in a relationship. It was pretty common for Frank to be this touchy with you anyway, you never paid much attention to it nor given it any malice.

"We fought because of you actually." Frank admitted with an apologetic smile.

Your head snapped towards him, a scowl etched on your face. "What did I do?!" you asked in defense.

"It was my fault. Daph saw your photo inside my wallet." he said.

"You should really throw away that photo. Jesus, why do you still have it anyway?" you complained.

Frank scoffed, "That's my favorite photo of you. I don't wanna get rid of it."

That was the last day that you considered your friendship with Frank platonic.

-

Come over

I miss u xoxo

Miss eating u out

Miss ur moans, wanna hear them again

You groaned at the continuous notifications that flooded your phone. While you were at work. After that first night with Frank, he had gotten extra clingy. No lies though, it felt nice to be wanted like this.

im free nxt Sat

Yay

Cant wait to see u, missed u a lot

dude, we were at the mall together just last wk

U really dont get attached do u?

Frowning at Frank's reply, you honestly didn't understand what he was implying.

what u mean?

Nothing

Work kept you busy for the entire week, with Frank bombarding you with sweet texts. You've avoided being sweet with him, it felt wrong. You weren't an affectionate person but Frank was, it was sort of one-sided. It wasn't a big deal anyway.

No one from the rest of your friends knew what had become of your friendship with Frank. You just thought it wasn't something that should be revealed. It was like your and Frank's little secret. You had to admit, the thrill only made the sex better.

Whenever the both of you went out with other people, the tension was there and it was fun. It was fun trying to brush off the way Frank's hand would steal touches from your waist, or how he'd subtly squeeze your thigh. The looks you exchanged from across the room; how Frank's "fuck me" eyes were meant for you and only you.

Things like that made you feel a certain type of way. But you never dwelled on it, or at least, you thought you didn't.

-

"Yeah, fuck...just like that, baby."

Frank's fingers dug deeply into the skin of your ass as he guided your hips. You gripped onto the back of the couch as you bounced on his cock, head thrown back from pleasure as Frank suckled one of your nipples. You could feel each of his fingers pressing down against your skin, it's probably going to leave bruises again.

"Frank, shit. I'm close." you panted against the skin of his neck, your arms wrapping around his shoulders and pulling him close.

Frank grunted and took your face in between his palms, forcing you to look at him as he began to thrust his hips upwards, eliciting a high-pitched whimper from you.

"Wanted to see you like this ever since." he breathed out, pressing his lips against your open mouth.

"Wanted you since we met, d'you know that?" he asked, grabbing a fistful of your hair and tugging your head back so he could nibble on your throat.

You shook your head and gripped his shoulders, nails scratching at his skin as you continued to ride his cock, "God, Frank...so close." you moaned.

You felt Frank's lips curl into a smirk against your neck, his fingers gripping your hair to keep you in place as his other hand slipped in between your bodies, finding your clit and rubbing it to help you reach your climax.

Every single time he touched you, you felt like your entire body was on fire. You felt the most alive, the most free whenever Frank fucked you. Maybe because he was truly gifted in bed or maybe he just knew your body and how to make it sing.

Or maybe it was because of the way he looked at you whenever you fall apart for him. Like he only had eyes for you, like it was only you that he could see.

Sweaty bodies and hoarse voices, the smell of smoke and sex lingering in the air. It was such a familiar ambiance by now. You liked how the aftermath of fucking Frank was never awkward, if any, it was a comfortable experience with the both of you just talking casually about how each other's day went.

"So I'm talking to this girl..." Frank said, turning you around so he could spoon you. Oh, the irony of the intimacy and conversation.

"Where'd you meet this girl?" you asked.

"Tinder." Frank snorted before pressing a kiss on your nape. "No, but she's different. I don't know, there's something about her."

You merely hummed in response.

"Think I might ask her out."

The first sting. The first realization. The first denial.

You should've said no. You should've known better.

-

The art exhibit wasn't a flop, but you wouldn't call it a success either. When you got a call from the organizer asking whether they can include your paintings in the exhibit, you said yes instantly. What can you say? You were a struggling artist who was seeking validation.

But now that you stood in front of your works with barely ten people attending the one-day exhibit, you thought that this wasn't a validation. It felt like a wake up call that maybe, art wasn't your calling and that you should probably give up on your dream.

"These are amazing."

You were on the verge of breaking down when you heard his voice. Turning around, you were surprised to see Frank. He was nodding his head as he approached you, his eyes scanning each of your painting.

"What are you doing here? I thought you had work." you asked.

Frank gave you a face, "Did you really think I'd miss out on your first exhibit?" he said and pulled you into a warm embrace.

"I'm proud of you." he whispered before kissing the crown of your head.

One validation from Frank was all it took for the walls to crumble down. He was the one who had been there for you all along and that was why you completely trusted him.

Frank will never hurt you, he'll never bring you down.

Or so you thought.

-

"Do you love me?"

It was a question that was supposed to make you think. But you didn't, because even before Frank decided to ask you that, you already had your answer.

You knew your answer for the longest time now, but decided to lock it into a box that you kept in the deepest part of your heart. It remained there unbothered and almost forgotten, up until this point.

That's why it was so easy for you to respond to it without even batting an eye.

"Yes."

It was too late when you realized that you had just admitted that you were in love with Frank. But you felt like it was the right time for you to bring out the key to that box, open it and just set your truth free.

They said that the truth will set you free, but why does it feel like it only imprisoned you?

"Shit, I was kidding." Frank said, his face panicked and body stiff from your unexpected admission.

Before you could even say something, Frank let out a nervous laugh as he ran his hand through his locks. "Wow, I didn't...are you serious?" he asked again.

It took you everything to brush off the pain, "Yeah, but it's no big deal. Come on." you shook your head and forced out a breathy chuckle.

Frank heaved out a deep sigh, "Fuck, I was messing with you. Are you sure it's fine? I mean, would this change anything?" he asked.

You deadpanned, "No, Frank. It wouldn't change anything. Like I said, get over it. It's not like I'm in love with you. I just love you...if that makes sense? You're my friend." you explained, more like lied.

"Look, it's not like I'm unattracted to you. I like you, I like spending time with you. It's just that I sort of don't see myself committing to you."

It didn't sink in to you immediately, Frank's statement. You didn't pay it any mind because again, you knew Frank. He wasn't one to commit so that was fine, you understand where he was coming from. It's not like you were going to force yourself on him too. But then you accidentally glanced at his phone and saw the messages he'd been exchanging with a certain someone.

When r u coming home?

In a little while, Daph

That night, Frank's statement hit you like a ton of bricks but again, you chose to deny what you actually felt. It's fine.

You're fine.

-

You should've said no. You should've known better.

Those words rang in your ears on the day that you found out. Your body turned cold, your vision blurred and your head spun. You'd never experienced hurt and anger like this, the kind that consumed you.

The kind that made you realized and admit that fuck, you'd truly fallen for Frank only for him to break your heart.

It didn't help that you were having such a terrible day at work. And Frank was so sweet to ask you whether you wanted to meet up with him. Not for sex, but to talk. The sex came rarely recently and was replaced with wholesome trips to the grocery, shit like that.

You knew there was something special going on. Even after he told you that he didn't see himself being with you, there was something.

Apparently, that something was just an assumption. Because when you asked Frank to meet you up that night, he said he couldn't and needed to be somewhere. That he'd meet with you the next day instead, a promise.

But then you saw him post a photo of him and Daphne. And it made your blood boil.

u back together?

No. Not really, been trying to fix it but u know how it is.

if ur trying to fix it with her then im out, frank

Wait what? Hey, are u mad?

r u fucking serious? u knew i love u and u come here parading ur ex, what the fuck is that all abt?

Shit, hey. Look, let's talk later, okay? Im out, will txt u when Im free.

Frank didn't text you back for the rest of the day.

-

You should've said no. You should've known better. But you said yes because you didn't know any better.

Were you regretting it? Yes. Sometimes.

You didn't know which hurt the most, the fact that Frank kept you in the dark while he was trying to patch things up with his ex, or that he considered you his best friend and still chose to break your heart.

He knew you the best, your relationship and trust issues and out of all the people, he really had to be the one to fuck you up the most. You trusted him so much, trusted him not to hurt you. Hell, if he doesn't want to commit then that's fine. But for him to treat you like a second option? Fuck that.

For him to confuse you with his actions, the intimacy...were all of those even real? All the times he came to your support when you had no one, when he was there for you on days you felt alone. What were those? He made you feel so fucking special, like it was possible to actually turn the friendship into something more than just fucking.

All this time you thought it was one-sided because you never actually showed Frank how much you meant to him the same way he did to you. Turned out that it was one-sided, but only because you were the only one who fell.

The following day, you received a voicemail from Frank. You pondered whether you were ready to listen to it but at the same time, you wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. It was pretty stupid, he fucked you up and there was no excuse for that. But the friendship you had with him had a strong hold on you.

"Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you. That was my mistake." he started off. "I thought that this was really just sex and having fun, but I want you to know that I like you. I really do, you're special to me. Please give me a chance to make things right. Daph and I...I want to end things with her. Please stay, I don't know what I'd do without you."

“I just didn’t expect that you’d end up falling for me, I mean shit. You know the real me, how fucked up I am when it comes to relationships. Just please...please stay?”

Did you stay? Sort of. But you kept your distance, didn't meet up with Frank after that and only responded to his texts occasionally. Did he end things with Daph?

He didn't.

He said he would but instead, they got back together.

It was fucking selfish of Frank to ask for you to stay only for him to get back together with his ex. It'd be better for him to just slap you in the face then.

Being told that he couldn't see himself committing to you but then going back with his ex was the cherry on top. God, if that didn't mess up with your self-worth.

You totally stopped talking to Frank, ignored his texts and calls. You stayed away from him, tried to get over him and eventually, you did. But you'd be lying if you said that he never left an effect on you. Because he did, Frank did a number on you and it would take you a long fucking time to completely recover from the damage he inflicted on you.

You should've said no. You should've known better. But you said yes because you didn't know any better.

And that's okay, because there's nothing wrong with taking risks and ending up in heartbreak.

You live, you love and you learn.

-

Everything Bucky Tag List:

@ddowii​ @jessou893​ @stealapizzamyheart​ @bagelofthelord​ @mxnt​ @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable @jeeperky​ @ohladymacbeth​ @wildflowergubler​ @supraveng​ @twinerd14​ @buckysmar @bakugouswh0r3​ @sweetcoldharmony @wintersfilm​ @charminivy​ @amelia-song-pond​ @iamvalentinaconstanza​ @mcubqrnes @i’m-squished @tcc-gizmachine​ @sipsteacasually​ @prettyintopeerpressure​ @weloveyasmin​ @est19xxshit​ @bloodhon3yx​ @dressed-in-prada​ @lizette50​ @thatfangirl42​ @sunflowerbunny2​ @unmagically​ @okiegirl24​ @sugarpunch-princess​ @enlyume​ @vvipgotbb @slimeyderp​ @lyoongx​ @just-deka​ @nobody-will​ @jaziona92 @elisebuitron​ @dpaccione​ @suvikamahes98blr​ @buckybarneshairpullingkink​ @earthtonav @x-judyjude-x​ @nani-kenobi @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @belladonnabarnes​ @iloveangstposts​ @weenersoldierr​ @asemistablehundredyearoldman​ @reidbuck​ @lizzarooni​ @girlfriday007​ @bonkywobble​ @lost-in-the-stars03​ @its-yasbxtch​ @whoth3hellisbucky​

[mystic-sky]

✨part 1 here ✨

Satoru’s only been in love once. Though it wasn’t with you, it wasn’t long before he met you either. The summer before he graduated high school he fell into a deep infatuation with someone. 

He was always a fast guy, even during his earlier youth- having lost his virginity in his sophomore year. He was a curious one, and he had the looks and the charm to scoop as many women as he chose. But he did give love a try with her. She was spunky, but shy at the same time. Outspoken, and he’d never forget how she kissed him first. She scooped him off his feet, somehow wrapping him around her finger- until she got bored. Gradually, there were no more late night phone calls, no more study dates and sneaking out together. She no longer responded immediately to his text messages, and casually rescheduled plans on short notice. Satoru had never been out right rejected before. But his nonchalant attitude lead him to adapt, and just reciprocate everything she had been doing. 

And in came his ex best friend, Suguru, who he no longer spoke to for external reasons.

He couldn’t go anywhere in school without witnessing or hearing the two laughing amongst one another or watching them hold hands. He felt nauseous every time he saw him wrap his arms around her; her sickening smile and her eyes sparkled just for him.

Senior year felt way too long. In the end, she left the both of them high and dry for an American University after graduation. But Satoru saw it as a lesson of sorts. He didn’t think all women were the same, but he certainly didn’t leave himself open to disappointment after this.

And that’s why he wasn’t the least bit surprised when he saw Suguru pressing his lips to your knuckles in the cafe you both first met in.

“Snake,” Satoru muttered under his breath.

He had no plans to walk inside the establishment at all, until he saw your cheery smile over the head of the brunette on his arm through the window. He shifted his gaze towards the source of your happiness, feeling that same sickening feeling from 3 years prior. 

He needed something sweet to rid the awful taste on his tongue. He took the brunette girl on his arm with him, offering to buy her a sweet drink. She happily obliged, simply ecstatic to be in his highly esteemed presence.

He imagined you didn’t even know who Suguru was, or what kinds of things he was capable of. But who was he to try and inform you? The both of you had split long before, and the last thing he needed was you thinking he actually cared about you. 

But he couldn’t stop looking at you. His heart swelled as he remembered when you both first met. It wasn’t even in lecture the way he had convinced you prior- oh no, long before that. It had been in sophomore year of college, the semester before you signed up for the political science course. 

He saw you in the college office, discussing electives you’d possibly be into with your counselor and one of your friends. He thought you were a cute, timid little thing. He gave himself a project, figuring he’d plant the seed and flirt with you in the near future when he had less women in his current line up. He could tell you were a busy one, rushing out of the office just as quickly as you came in. He didn’t even get a chance to make conversation with you. 

He signed up for a political science class, realizing just how low the probability of him ending up in the same class as you was. One semester later, he remembers chanting God is good as you sit idly in the middle of the lecture room when he arrives. 

The seats around you are taken, and he regrets being late on the first day. At least he had 2 hours to admire you from a distance. 

Your friends had came to get you as soon as class ended, making him miss his opportunity again to talk to you. The week after, you showed up late to class. Satoru being Satoru, it was impossible for him to keep empty seats beside himself due to his popularity. He watched you climb the steps and sit all the way in the back, far behind him. You had stayed to talk with the professor after class as a result. And unfortunately, his entourage of women couldn’t be kept waiting. That week he cut them all off. It was getting too difficult to maintain so many relationships along with his multiple sexual partners.

 A part of him thought having multiple partners and women around just wasn’t worth it. He grew tired of having multiple personalities around him. One sexual partner would be the most convenient. He didn’t even care if people thought he was dating that one specific person- as long as people left him alone. To rid himself of his options when he hadn’t even found a new contender for himself yet is what leeched at his brain. He might of been a bit of a sex addict. But there was also a part of him that was sure you’d be into him. All he had to do was try.

The third week you were absent. He almost lost his shit. He never saw you around campus ever, and he didn’t even know your name. This was getting a bit ridiculous.

Then, seemingly God sent, did he happen upon you in the university’s local cafe. He hadn’t known how long you’d been there since he had been studying himself towards the back.

You had gotten up and had been staring out the glass at the rain. A golden opportunity, he thought.

He packed his things, tossing his bag over his shoulder and umbrella in hand. Smoothly, he stood in the same space by the window. You were dazed, in your own little world, barely noticing his presence. He heard you speak,

“I guess I should sit back down,” you muttered quietly. She’s really not paying me any mind, he thought.

“Man, you don’t have an umbrella? That sucks.” He finally spoke, earning a startled look from you. He continued to stare straightforward towards the window pane. 

“Yeah, I know.” You say, sighing to yourself. He could see the slight blush in your cheeks through the corner of his sunglasses. 

“It says the rain is going to stop within the hour on the weather app.” He said, scrolling and tapping away at his phone. “You goin’ to the train station?”

“Oh, yeah.” You say shyly. He watched you nervously tucked some hair behind your ears before he looked straight ahead at the rain.

He also noticed you couldn’t stop stealing glances at him through the corner of his eye.

“Like what you see?”

You blinked at him repeatedly, earning a cocky chuckle from his end.

“Wanna walk with me?” He asked, peering down at you. He assumed it was too forward because he couldn’t read the look on your face after that. Just a series of blinks and a continuous puzzled stare. 

“I don’t even know you.” You said bluntly, and he felt that you meant it disrespectfully.

“Not yet.” He said slyly. “But I’ve seen you around campus a lot.”

Though that wasn’t true, he couldn’t possible tell you that he had been secretly admiring you every Wednesday for almost three weeks now either.

He watched you put a finger towards your chin before speaking.

“Professor Edamura’s class right?”

“Bingo.” He grinned.

“There’s like 120 people in that lecture.” You only took a guess, considering that was your largest class. 

“Yeah. But I think you’re the cutest.” He could’ve been smoother about it. But he was anxious to make his introduction. Only seeing you on Wednesdays sucked. This way, he could make sure you’d be thinking of him for a little while until you saw him again. 

Whose the mysterious tall guy with the white hair, or at least that’s how he thought you’d be thinking of him in his head.

“Thank you,” you say, squeezing your arms around your book and pressing it towards your chest. 

“Oh look, the rain is stopping.” He says, leaning forward, nose nearly pressing against the glass.

“Well, see you Wednesday.” He smiled a cheeky smile, before walking off. He felt you watching him stride down the street, and that’s how he wanted it to be.

Days later, Satoru was sure to be on time to class. He finally got a chance to sit beside you, offering you a wink and a smile. He could feel how shy you were, choosing not to make much conversation with you during the two hours of lecture. 

Luck was on his side yet again, considering he got paired with you for a group project. He offered to meet at his house, fixing up a group chat for the five of you. The other girls in the group talked over you while you made project plans before class ended. He was highly aware that they were trying their hardest to flirt with him, completely unphased by your presence. He felt bad that he couldn’t even really get close to you without other women somehow ruining things yet again. At least he learned your name and got your phone number. 

The next day, and also the night before the meet up, he texted you privately outside the group chat. 

He remembers checking his phone a few minutes later, seeing you’d left him on read. He realized he probably shouldn’t have been so forward. He chuckled at himself before tossing his phone on the bed and going to sleep.

You arrived somewhat early to his apartment, greeting him quietly before he told you to make yourself comfortable. It didn’t take long for the other three to text the group chat explaining that something had coincidentally came up, leaving you all alone with him. There you sat on the floor of his living room, not looking all that pleased to be in his presence. 

“Guess it’s just the two of us,” he chuckled. 

“Don’t look so happy about it.” He watched you roll your eyes.

“I can’t help it,” he says, sitting across from you on a different floor pillow. “I won’t lie. I had been thinking of asking you on a date. I didn’t think I’d get so lucky.”

“And did you text the other girls in our group the same thing the night before?” You say, nonchalantly opening your book. You didn’t even look his way. Your response threw him off.  Why were you acting like you hated him?

“No, they’re incredibly annoying.” He sighed genuinely, hoping he could change your outlook on him even a little.

“You’re pretty cool though. Kind of bummed you didn’t text me back.” He addressed. It sort of ticked him off that you didn’t respond to him. 

“Because I know what you’re up to.” You say, scribbling away in your notes.

“And what might that be?” He takes off his shades, putting them on the glass coffee table. He loved to play with the girls like this; acting so oblivious to his obvious intentions. 

“I’m not going to fall in love with you. I don’t have time for that.” You firmly set your pencil down, looking at him. He was taken aback. He’s intrigued and wants to poke at you some more.

“I don’t exactly want you to.” He chuckled. You looked at him before speaking again.

“So what do you want from me?” You say, placing your palm in your hand and leaning forward a bit to look at him directly. He thought the way you furrowed your brows at him was precious. He was fully aware you were being serious but he thought you were too cute.

“I said I wanted to take you on a date.” He laughs. “Get to know you a bit, but ultimately take you to bed at the end of the night, if you don’t mind. You can decline, I just wanted to show you a good time.”

Satoru may have been a downright whore up until now, but one thing he did manage to do was not lie to any of the women he dealt with. He never made false promises, and he never ever told women he would eventually commit to them. He hated when people tried to hold him emotionally accountable for things. He was typically clear to everyone about what he wanted from the beginning. Anyone who got their heart broken afterwards couldn’t say shit to him. 

“Sure,” you say calmly, to his surprise. You shift yourself around the table, right beside his body.

“Seriously?”

“Seriously,” you took hold of his jaw, delicately planting a kiss. He had no idea you were so confident. It had been so long since someone had kissed him first so forwardly and so passionately. For the first time in a long time he was mesmerized, feeling the summer before senior year of high school all over again on his living room floor. Your lips were incredibly soft and pillowy. He was already hard, wondering just what your sex was like if you kissed him like this.

You shifted over his body, straddling him against the bottom of the sofa. You’d give him exactly what he wanted.

“You better be good at this, or don’t even bother looking at me after we finish this project.” You break from his lips. His eyes widened a bit, staring deeply into yours before speaking. 

“Oh princess, I don’t ever disappoint.” He smirked. He lifted both your bodies off the ground. He sucked in your lips, kissing you firmly as he brought you to his bedroom. 

That night, he gave you the best sex of your entire life. He wasn’t lying about not disappointing you.

Sex with you was more than a memorable experience to him. The both of you had formed this bond having had done it so many times in one semester. You never pried or asked him about his personal life. You never hinted at wanting more than what he was already giving you. He would notice when you were stressed and life would occasionally beat you up. He lent you his ear, hoping to ease you the best he could. This kept up for almost a year, and he genuinely thought you’d get tired of the agreement by now. But here you were still, being exactly what he wanted you to be. You never smothered him, and that made him want to spoil you. 

He didn’t know how to communicate that unless it was while he had sex with you. You told him not to buy you gifts. Maybe he could treat you to dinner but you were keen on keeping things minimal. 

The most intimate moment you both had was probably the night before you both had ended it all.

He hadn’t seen you all week, and took you to dinner before bringing you home to bed like he always did. He wanted nothing more than your skin against his own. The warmth you gave him was intoxicating yet somehow endearing. He couldn’t dare fall in love with you, but his sex told you otherwise.

“Fuck, I missed you.”

Your entire head was hot from the whisper he made into your ear. He knew he shouldn’t have said it like that. The way your sweet and dazed eyes looked up at him- he knew it was starting to fuck with you. You let out a moan as he filled you up completely, grinding your sex towards him from underneath.

“It looks like you missed me too,” he chuckled. He could never forget the sounds your slimy cunt made every time he inserted himself into you. He knew you couldn’t lie to him even if you tried— your body wouldn’t let you.

He heard you moan back how much you missed him too, wrapping your arms around him and pulling him close. This was getting bad and he knew that. But he never had someone hold him like that before- like they loved him. 

“I know baby,” he placed sweet kisses against your face and neck, “I know.”

This memory echoes in his brain as he watched Suguru play with your fingers at your table. He orders his drink, and the dame beside him is talking a thousand miles per minute but he doesn’t hear thing. He somehow tunes out the entire establishment, only focusing on you and the dark haired bastard right in front of you. 

She moves on quickly, he thought. He was thankful he had his signature dark shades on so he could stare at you as much as he wanted. 

Were you both just talking? Did Suguru establish the same friends with benefits situation with you? Or... was he your boyfriend? 

It felt like it was just yesterday you were telling him how much you missed him, how much you needed him. 

Satoru then remembered the bullshit speech you gave him once about how you didn’t have time to fall in love. 

So what the fuck was this?

He knew he could’ve handled the split so much better. But he was scared. He didn’t trust you. He didn’t want to find out if you were capable of hurting him. Were you that fickle? He knew he was one to talk, but he’d never forget the look you gave him that night- like you were in love with him.

But that was only two months ago. He watched the both of you get up, and pack your things. The nostalgic yet sick feeling from earlier grew tenfold in his stomach as he watched you and Suguru join hands. He watched him press a long sweet kiss against your forehead before tilting your chin up to his gaze. Suguru whispered something to you, obviously making you blush and stare at the floor. He presses another kiss to your forehead before leading you out of the cafe. 

Satoru’s chest felt tight, and he hadn’t felt this way in years. Such a green feeling, but mostly terrified that he might’ve been in love with you. 

Just how was he supposed to get you back?

✨part 3 here ✨

[weezly14]

we could call it even (5/?)

“Peter could only be hers in Queens; over time, as she visited less often, he became less hers. She decided that it was better that way.“ To quote Taylor Swift, “it always leads to you in my hometown.”

this chapter is brought to you by taylor swift. specifically, the 1.

i'm impatient but also, chapter 6 is the one i've been waiting for. so this is a few days earlier than planned, mostly because i'm anxious for you all to read the next chapter.

and well spotted re: the marvelous mrs maisel line. (i have opinions, but it's a good line regardless.) there was also a west wing reference, so bonus points if anyone catches it.

as always, enjoy.

wanna catch up? one. two. three. four. 

five.                    

 if one thing had been different would everything be different today?

---

                Michelle was too in her head, and felt guilty for worrying her sister, and being a shitty aunt, and never visiting before now, so when Gina went to work Michelle took Jesse to the Lego Store at Rockefeller Center. They went ice skating, and she bought him a giant Lego set that was too expensive but fuck it, she had a good job and, until recently, split bills with Miles. She could afford to buy a ridiculous Lego set to ease her guilt and make her nephew smile.

             Plus, helping him build it that afternoon gave her something to focus on.

---

               She never cheated on Miles.

             Peter was – Miles knew about Peter. Maybe not all the details, but the ex, high school sweetheart, first love, home from break hookup – she’d been honest about all that. But by the time she met Miles, she was ready to move on, for real. To start actually getting over Peter. She hadn’t had a steady partner for all of college, because she always knew that she’d go home for a week or two and Peter would be there and she didn’t cheat, she wouldn’t do that. So she couldn’t be in anything serious, or even semi-serious. College was a series of hookups, of keeping her feelings to herself, of no strings attached arrangements – of holding on to some hope that she and Peter might still –

             And, she really was very busy.

             But she’d met Miles at work in LA after graduation, another clerk with law school aspirations and a creative streak. He painted, and he’d lived in Queens, too, until he was 10, so they could reminisce about the city. He was handsome, and funny, and kind. He liked her.

             She didn’t go out on a real date with him until after the funeral, and it wasn’t a swift and easy courtship. They were both strong-willed, and they both had dreams. They went to work together, but they applied to different schools and wanted to go into different types of law. They didn’t talk about the future, because they both wanted to focus on their own careers first, not factor someone else into plans.

             But they were together, and serious enough. Miles met Gina and Jesse on their visits. He met a few of her old high school friends. She met his parents and friends. When they ended up at different, but local, law schools, they moved in together because it made sense, and it was cheaper. They had fun together, the sex was good, they had similar interests. On paper, there was nothing to complain about.

             And maybe it was subconsciously about Peter, but mostly she thinks it was just her.

             Miles wanted to get married. Not immediately, but it was on his list. He wanted to get married and have kids, and they had been together for years, and lived together, and had met their respective loved ones, and they were starting out their careers, and it would make sense for them to wait another year or two but it was most definitely the path they were on. The path that starts with marriage and ends with a mortgage in a good school district and a kid or two for the Christmas cards.

             Michelle wasn’t sure she wanted to be on that path. With Miles, or anyone.

             It’s devastating to tell someone you love that you love them, but you know you don’t want to be with them forever. It’s awful to break up with someone for no other reason than there’s a feeling in your gut and a voice in your head saying go.

             And Miles, to his credit, took it as well as could’ve been expected. He cried and she cried, and he went to his best friend’s, and she cashed in all the vacation she hadn’t taken and booked a plane ticket to New York. He told her she could keep the apartment, that he’d clean out his things while she was gone, and she hadn’t talked to him since she broke his heart. She’d told Gina and Betty that they broke up, and it was mutual, and to her credit, Gina hadn’t pushed, and neither had Betty. But it was final. There were no questions of can’t we try again? Miles had been upset, but not completely surprised.

             Just because there wasn’t a reason for them to break up didn’t mean they had a reason to stay together.

             So here she was, sleeping on her sister’s couch in her parent’s old apartment, successful by any professional standard but a mess in every other area of her life. She had spent more time with her nephew in the past 3 days than she had in probably his entire life. She had a half empty home across the country, and possibly no friends left in LA because she imagined Miles would get all of them in the break up. And she’d just found out her ex-boyfriend was Spider-Man, and had pushed her away out of some misplaced sense of responsibility and protection.

             The parts of her that ached the most wanted to just say fuck it, email in two weeks notice and never go back to LA, just stay here and start over.

             But she knew that wouldn’t fix anything. She and Peter would still be in the same place, and maybe –

             Maybe she needed to stop running away to start over.

 ---

               How’s babysitting?

             Michelle sees the text from Peter when she sits down to have dinner with Jesse. Gina won’t be home for another few hours, so Michelle is on bedtime duty, too.

             Good. We built Legos

             Nice

             You figure out work shit?

             Yeah. I’ll be working overtime, but my boss told me I looked like shit when I got in, so feeling sick was believable I guess

             “Mama says no screens at dinner.”

             “Sorry, J,” Michelle says, turning her phone over and focusing on him. He reminds her so much of Gina, and she wonders how much he looks like Louis. She remembers him, sure, but they were never close. Does Jesse take after Gina, or is it just all Michelle can see? She wonders what Gina sees when she looks at him.

             He has more of a personality this time – last time she saw him was easily a year ago, and they’d gone to Disneyland, and his personality had mostly been Excitement. But now he’s like a – like a person. She’s never spent much time around kids, and it blows her mind a little bit, what they’re like and how they grow and just – and people do this, raise kids, without any sort of training? She’s around the same age that Gina was when she had Jesse, and Michelle cannot imagine having a baby.

“No one calls me J,” he tells her matter of factly, taking a bite of his food.

             “I won’t if you don’t like it,” she says. More proof of how little she knows him.

             “I don’t know,” he says thoughtfully. “Mama calls me Jess. But there’s a girl Jess in my class, and she’s nice, but I don’t know if I wanna be Jess, too.”

             “Fair.”

             “You can call me J, if you want.”

             “What do you want?”

             “Ice cream.”

             “No, silly,” she says, matching his smile and reaching out to tickle his side. He giggles. “Do you want to be Jesse or J?”

             “Can I have more than one? Do you have more than one name?”

             “Yeah.”

             “What is it?”

             “Well. Most people call me Michelle. But you and your mom usually call me Shelley. And my friends used to call me MJ.”

             “They don’t anymore?”

             She thinks of Peter.

             “Some do.”

             “Why?”

             She shrugs.

             “I was MJ in high school, but then I decided I wanted to be called Michelle.”

             “MJ sounds nice.”

             “Yeah.”

             He takes a bite of his macaroni, brow furrowed in thought.

             “Can I be J, but just you, and Jesse for everyone else?”

             “Of course.”

             “Ok.” He smiles at her. “Then it’s like we have a special handshake, but it’s names.”

             She smiles back, heart expanding. “I guess it is.”

             He goes back to his pasta.

             “I like you here.”

             “I like me here, too,” she says, heart clenching. God, kids are so honest. She imagines it’s got downsides, but how nice was it to be around a kid, to be told the unfiltered truth?

             “Can you come back for my birthday? Mom said I can have a birthday party,” Jesse informs her.

             The immediate of course is on her tongue, but she can’t promise that, not without looking at her calendar, and God, that makes her feel like shit.

             “I’ll work on it, okay?”

 ---

               so, if you wanna come by later. I don’t know when gina’s supposed to get back.

             You still have a key

             We can talk another night too, if you want

             Michelle?

             You’re probably busy with Jesse, sorry, I forgot

             I’m going out for a bit

             But if you wanna talk tonight we can

             You have a key

 ---

                           She doesn’t look at her phone until later, after she and Jesse have cleaned up dinner and worked on the Legos, and started the bedtime routine. It’s not until Jesse is tucked into bed that she sees all of Peter’s messages.

             Gina gets back in an hour. Too late?

             His response doesn’t come immediately.

             No, that’s fine. I’ll be there.

             Ok

             Where’d you go? Are you still out wherever?

             Around. I’ll be there by the time you are.

             He doesn’t say it, but she has a feeling he’s out being Spider-Man.

             She spends most of the hour googling Spider-Man sightings, information, videos – and wondering where the fuck in that skintight suit he can stash a phone.

 ---

               Gina opens the apartment door and sighs heavily. She hangs her coat up and drops her keys in the bowl by the door.

             “Rough day?” Michelle asks from the couch. She closes out of the Bugle app on her phone (what a load of bullshit that site is – but she has more questions for Peter now).  

             “Just long. My feet are killing me,” Gina says.

             “Want me to heat up leftovers?”

             “No, I’m okay.” Gina collapses on the couch next to her. “How was he?”

             “He was great. He’s a great kid,” Michelle says, hoping her sincerity comes through.

             “Doing my best.”

             “You’re doing an amazing job.”

             “Thanks.” Gina closes her eyes and sighs.

             Not for the first time since she’s been home, Michelle wonders how her sister does it all, and how things might be different if she’d stuck around. Would she be a regular babysitter? Would she and Gina have split the rent on a bigger apartment? Would Gina be so tired?

             “Are you heading off again?” Gina asks after a moment. The guilt in her gut grows.

             “Is that okay?”

             Gina shrugs. Michelle looks at her, waiting for her to say more, because clearly she wants to. Gina meets her gaze.

             “What’s going on, Michelle?”

             She squirms, resisting looking away for as long as she can. God, if only the ground could open up and swallow her whole.  

             “It’s complicated.”

             “No shit. I mean – generally. You haven’t been here in years. You broke up with Miles. You called to tell me you were coming, and had ended a years long relationship, both of which came out of nowhere. Do you even have a return ticket, by the way? And then, you’ve spent almost every night since you got here with Peter. What’s going on, hon?”

             Michelle takes a deep breath and looks up at the ceiling, resting her head on the back of the couch. Hearing it all laid out like that makes it sound – makes it sound like she’s about as messed up as she feels.

             “I don’t know, G. I’m a mess.”

“You’re not a mess, you’re in your twenties.”

“I loved Miles, you know? But I would look at him sometimes and think, we’re not gonna last more than three years. And it felt so shitty to think that, and why stay, when I know it’s gonna end? Why string him along? He started bringing up marriage.” She bites her lip. “I mean, be honest. Did you think I was gonna stay with Miles?”

“No,” Gina answers, and Michelle feels like she should feel something about how quick her response was. “I liked him. I knew you cared for him. I didn’t think it would last forever. I just didn’t think it would end so suddenly.”

Michelle shrugs.

“So why come home? Did he kick you out?”

“No, nothing like that. He wouldn’t. He left. Told me I could keep the apartment.” She shrugs again. “I just didn’t want to be there alone. And I haven’t seen you and Jesse in a long time, and –”

“And Peter.”

Michelle huffs.

“Not everything is about Peter!”

“Where are you headed tonight?”

Michelle doesn’t answer.

“He asks about you. Not every time he babysits, but enough that I gathered you two weren’t speaking.”

“Yeah. We didn’t really keep in touch.”

“That surprised me more than Miles. And I was pretty surprised when you told me about Miles.”

“You said you weren’t surprised I broke up with him.”

“Not that. When you started dating him.”

Oh.

“Why was that so shocking?”

“Dad had just died. And Peter was – I mean, without him and May? I just sort of figured you two were, I don’t know. Part of me thought maybe you already were back together. But then you went back to California all of a sudden, and then you’re telling me about Miles. I didn’t see it coming.”

“Me neither,” Michelle mumbles.

“What happened with you two?”

“Nothing.” It’s a lie and it isn’t. “He’s here, I’m there. We grew up.”

“Mmhmm.”

“It’s so hard to be here,” Michelle says. “This apartment especially. How do you do it? How do you not just constantly think of Dad?”

             Gina doesn’t say anything for a while. For a moment, she wonders if she’s hurt her feelings somehow.  

             “Thinking about Dad isn’t the worst thing. There were a lot of memories here before he died.”

             “I guess.”

             “So when are you going back? You never answered.”

             “I didn’t buy a ticket yet.”

             “Thinking about staying?”

             “I don’t know. Maybe? I do and I don’t. I don’t know why I want to stay.”

             (Except she sort of does.)

             Gina looks at her thoughtfully for a while, and Michelle feels herself wilting under her gaze. It feels like Gina can see right through her, can see all the things Michelle isn’t saying.

“I think you need to decide what you want. And if you’re willing to work for it,” Gina says finally. Michelle isn’t quite sure how those two statements are connected.

             “I’ve done that my whole life.”

             “Yeah, with school. You’re not in school anymore, though, you’re in the real world. It’s not as simple as studying for the exam or reading the right books. I think you need to sit with yourself, and really think: What do I want? Actually want, not what you think you’re supposed to want.”

             “Yeah, but what if I figure that out, and –”

             She doesn’t know how to – it feels too much like admitting something, committing to a desire she doesn’t want to name. That might not want her back.

             “Well, sometimes that’s life. But you gotta fight for it.”

             Michelle looks at her sister, and realizes, not for the first time, just how much she’s gone through. Never knowing her father. Abandoned by her mother. Raising Michelle. And then she found someone, and he died, leaving her a single mom. And then their dad died, too. And Michelle escaped to the other side of the country. Has Gina ever had what she wanted? Why should Michelle get to?

             “Do you regret it?”

             “What?”

             “Anything. Everything. Getting married, or –”

             Falling in love.

             “What, because he died?” Gina snorts. “We got married because we loved each other. We knew we were gonna die, but we said, I’m gonna love you until that day. At least. Not his fault that day came a lot sooner than we wanted. But I can’t regret that. I don’t.” She fixes Michelle with a Look. “There are a lot of people who never have that at all, or who have it but throw it away.”

             “But now you’re –”

             “I have a little boy who makes it all worth it. And he reminds me of Louis. So much it hurts, sometimes, because Louis would’ve –  but I have a little piece of him still. On the bad days, it helps.”

             Michelle nods.

             “I miss my husband everyday, but I would never trade the time I had with him for anything. Given the choice, I’d do it all over again. Even knowing how it would end. That’s love, I think. Knowing you might be completely destroyed by this person, but knowing it would still be worth it. It’s a leap of faith.”

             Michelle bites her lip. They’re not talking about Peter, but aren’t they? That’s where her mind is. And maybe that means something.

             “I think I’m afraid of what I might want,” she admits, still unable to stop hedging.

             “Yeah.”

             “It’s not just up to me.”

             “I know.”

             (And what would he say? And what if – not if – clearly, bad things happen to him. Yes, everyone dies, but it feels like Peter – his life feels so much more precarious now.)

             “I miss Dad,” she says quietly.

             “Me, too.”

             Gina grabs Michelle’s hand and squeezes it. They stay like that for a while.            

             “I’m going to bed,” Gina finally says. Michelle nods.

             “I’m going to Peter’s.”

             “Might be easier to think away from him,” Gina suggests, but Michelle shakes her head.

             “We need to talk about some stuff first.”

             “Okay.”

             Gina turns to go down the hall, but Michelle calls her.

             “You’re an amazing mom, you know that? And an amazing sister.”

             Gina smiles softly.

             “Thanks, M.”

 ---

               When her father had his heart attack, Michelle got on the first flight she could, and even though she hadn’t told Peter what was happening, he was waiting for her at the airport. Gina had reached out to May, and May told him.

             She remembers rushing into his arms, letting him hold her right there in the middle of baggage claim. Remembers him taking her hand and hailing a taxi, paying the fare and walking into the hospital with her, one hand holding hers and the other holding her bag. She remembers how he knew where to go, how she and Gina ran into each other’s arms, sobbing. How he’d held back, waiting in the hall when she went in to see her dad, and then took her back to the apartment, the place she’d grown up.  

             When her father died, Peter and May became a constant presence at their apartment. One of them was always there, heating up food, helping with phone calls and arrangements and Jesse. She feels like she barely slept that week, surviving on coffee and bagels that Peter would put in her hands at regular intervals, would urge her to at least take a few bites of.

             “You guys really don’t have to do all this,” she’d said to May at one point.

             “In Jewish tradition, when someone dies, you sit shiva. We bury them as soon as possible, and then we sit in mourning for seven days. And we sit beside the mourners, and pray with them, and grieve with them, and be whatever they need us to be. And you’re mourning, Michelle,” May had told her gently. “And we love you. So we’re going to stay here with you, and be whatever you need.”

             Michelle hadn’t argued.

(She’d wondered, dimly, who sat shiva with May and Peter when Ben died. What had Peter needed then?)  

             She remembers Peter carrying her father’s casket alongside her uncles and cousins. Remembers feeling his presence behind her during the service. Remembers the plate of food he brought her at the wake, how he stood with her and watched her pick at it. He wasn’t overbearing, but he was there. Solid and steady.

             (Everyone asked who he was. One of my oldest friends, she had said. Ex-boyfriend couldn’t capture the depth of what he was to her in that week. And in the midst of her grief, he let her dictate the terms.)

             She went to him because he loved her, and she needed to feel loved.

             She left because she was scared of what that meant.

 ---

               She uses the key to unlock Peter’s door, and when she steps in, he is nowhere to be seen. But the lights are on.

             She hears a light thud from his bedroom.

             “How was Spider-Man-ing?” she asks as she leans against the doorframe to his bedroom, watching as he takes his mask off.  

             “I wanted to make sure you made it here,” he says, a touch defensively.

             “I did.”

             “I see that.”

             Pause.

             “How does that even work?” she asks.

             “What? The suit?”

             “Looks uncomfortable,” she says, approaching him. His hair is messy from the mask, and his cheeks are pink from the cold. How does he not freeze? Is it made of fancy warming fabric?

             He shrugs.

             “Tony made it. So it’s not too bad.”

             “How do you – ”

             He presses the spider on his chest, and the suit loosens. He pulls his arms out and shrugs it off, in nothing but his briefs. The Spider-Man suit lies pooled on the floor.

             She’s seen Peter Parker in just his boxers – and less – countless times. In sexual and not situations. She knows the lines of his body, the cut of his shoulders. But it’s like she’s seeing him for the first time now. She’s letting her eyes roam his form, looking for – signs, evidence, something. Scars, cuts, anything that might indicate his long held secret. But she sees nothing. Just the same Peter she’s always seen.

             “You should put some clothes on,” she says finally. He nods, like he’d been waiting for her to let him.

             She sits on his bed as he pulls on the same flannel pants from before, and grabs an old Midtown High t-shirt. She smirks.

             “Can’t believe you still have that.”

             “It’s comfy,” he defends.

             She nods as he approaches the bed. She brings her legs up and settles in the center of the bed, crossing her legs, motioning for him to join her.

             “So.”

             “So.”

             “What are your questions?”

             She has so many, and no idea where to start.

             “Were you ever going to tell me?”

             Pull off the band aid.

             “I almost did. A few times.”

             “What stopped you?”

             He shrugs.

             “That’s not good enough. You had a reason. Why?”

             He runs a hand through his hair, face twisting into a look like frustration.

             “I dunno, first it was – we were in high school, and I liked you, and I didn’t want to scare you off. And then we were talking about college, and I wanted – I almost told you then. But I thought it would be easier for you to just – clean break. Because this whole thing has its risks.”

             “For you, or for me?”

             “Both,” he admits. “I heal pretty fast, but I still get hurt. And I deal with some pretty nasty people. People who would hurt you if they knew.”

             “Yeah, but you wear a mask. So if they don’t know who you are, why does it matter if we’re together or not?”

             “Because they could find out who I am. And if they do, they could use you to get to me.”

             “Well, sure, I’ll go with that logic – but in all this time, no one’s ever figured you out, have they?”

             “Sort of.”

             “Sort of?”

             “There have been – close calls. Closer than I’d like.”

             “And yet – ”

             “I have to keep my distance. At least try. I can’t let anyone get too close, because I’m putting them in danger. So even if I wanted to explain it all back then – ”

             “I could’ve made my own decision.”

             He gives her a Look.

             “You wanted to go to Stanford.”

             “So did you. And we could’ve, I don’t know, tried long distance.”

             “But you’d still –”

             “Because your enemies would fly to California to get me?”

             “You’d be in danger when you came back.”

             “Oh, because just hooking up – that didn’t paint a target on my back?”

             He winces.

             “I didn’t – I didn’t want that to happen. I tried to stay away from you.”

             That stings. Her eyes burn and her chest aches and it fucking hurts to hear him say it. Like he regrets it – like it was just sex, and even then, he wishes they hadn’t. She feels like an idiot.

             “Tried really hard, huh?” she says. She feels a tear and his face falls as he realizes his words.

             “No, I didn’t mean it like – Em, I don’t regret that – I just – you’re right, being with me at all – that wasn’t smart, on my part. But I don’t regret it.”

             “No, you just wouldn’t do it if you could go back.”

             “Do you remember –” He stops and takes a deep breath. Wipes her tears and keeps his hand on her face. “Remember when that – when you almost – that guy. And Spider-Man saved you?”

             “I resent the implication that I needed saving,” she says, but she remembers. That memory takes on a new meaning now.

             “Do you know how much I think about that? And that’s not even the nightmare scenario.”

             “I can make my own decisions. I should get to decide what risks are worth it.”

             “I know you should. But when we were 18? All I could think about was – was losing you. Watching you die, because I couldn’t stop it, or it was my fault.”

             “Peter,” she breathes.

             “I know that’s a shitty answer. But I was scared. And the longer it – I mean, once we started college, it was, well. I didn’t tell her. And if I tell her now, maybe she’ll – and if I could only have you on school breaks – I could sort of rationalize it. You weren’t my girlfriend, so you were safe. But when you came home, we could pretend, and it could be enough.”

             “Did it feel like enough for you?” she asks, thinking back to the nights they’d spend, not just having sex but talking, catching up, working out the things they worried about. The nights when he was her best friend again, and she could talk to him about anything. Mornings teasing each other over toast and laughing, because he was just – fun. She had fun with him. Until she had to leave, and they’d barely even say goodbye. Wouldn’t even commit to a next time.

             “No,” he whispers.

             “Yeah.”

             “I was afraid that I waited too long, so if I did tell you, you’d be so angry I didn’t for so long, you’d never talk to me again.”

             She’s not sure that’s not not how she might’ve reacted.

             “But then your dad –”

             “Peter –” she says, a warning in her tone. If he tries to use her father’s death to justify lying to her –

             “I wanted to tell you. I think I would have. Being with you that week – that’s when I realized, shit. Something could happen to me, and you would – you might – I don’t assume that – obviously your dad is way more –”

             “You realized that we might have to bury you? And it would be really shitty for me to not know why?”

             “Yeah,” he breathes, anguished.

             “Fuck, Peter.”

             She thinks about it. Thinks back, and wonders how she would’ve reacted then. How things might’ve been different if –

             “But you left.”

             “And you couldn’t have called?” she demands.

             “I did, MJ. Remember? You didn’t respond. And I wasn’t going to force –”

             “So it’s my fault?”

             It feels like her fault but no, this is all his fault for lying and being a martyr and –

             “No. No.” He runs a hand through his hair. “I’m just telling you – I know I’m an asshole. I know I should’ve told you. I wanted to, MJ, you have no idea. And I almost did. But I thought you were done. I didn’t know if you were ever gonna talk to me again.”

             “I wasn’t really planning on it, honestly.”

             He sucks in a breath.

             “I probably deserve that.”

             They sit in silence a few moments. All she can think is the past few years, the possibilities, the what might have been.

             “I feel like – I don’t feel like I know how to just be your friend anymore,” she admits. “Being around you is hard, Peter. Because –”

             I love you.

             “I know.”

             Does he?

             They sit there for another moment. He tentatively reaches for her hands, and she lets him take them. He runs his fingers over hers. Twines them, rubs circles with his thumbs.

             “So now you know.”

             “Now I know.” She looks at their joined hands. “Does that change anything?”

             “I don’t know,” he says. “Yes. Should it?”

             She thinks about what Gina said. About deciding what you want. About knowing things will end. About it being worth it anyway.

             “What do you want?” she asks quietly, still looking at their hands.

             He looks at her – she can feel his gaze, so she lifts her eyes to meet his.

             “You. It’s always been you.”

             She kisses him.

[luna-eclipse2000]

AOT characters and how’d they react if you told them you don’t want kids

What’s this? An imagine instead of a one shot? Anyways, sorry if this is kinda crap. I don’t usually do imagines. And I know that a lot of people don’t actually want to have kids in the future, myself included, so that’s where I came up with this idea. So for those of you who also don’t want tiny humans, this is for you. But for the rest, here’s some fluff.

——————————————————————————

Eren

You were walking around a park when he asked the question and you gave your response

Kinda confused at first

I mean, you were a kid once and so was he

You explain that while you don’t mind other people’s kids, you don’t want to have any yourself

Honestly it just confuses him more

“If you don’t want kids… doesn’t that mean you don’t like kids?”

“I just don’t wanna have to be the one to clean up a runny nose in the winter or have to deal with a tantrum in the candy aisle of the store.”

Starts to understand after that because it’d get a bit gross having to wipe a dirty nose every 5 seconds until they’re old enough to do it themselves. Plus it’d be humiliating to have a screaming child throw themselves on to the floor as strangers pass by because he denied them a chocolate bar

So he asks if there’s any way you two could do a before and after school program

To which you agree

But any toddlers will be his specialty

Armin

You’re in the library when he brings up the topic of kids and you tell him that you don’t want any

He’s a little surprised at first because of how well you deal with Eren and Mikasa’s kid but completely understands why you don’t want any of your own

Being a parent is tough

You have to deal with tantrums, waking up at 5 am every day because they don’t wanna sleep anymore, trying to get them to eat anything other than McDonald’s and dino nuggets, they’re expensive and tend to lie pretty often

In short, stress levels go through the roof

Plus labour can be long and painful

Even with an epidural it can be uncomfortable especially if you have to get stitches down there

He smiles and says that it’s ok if you don’t want kids

Jean

You’re out on a picnic date when a ball comes flying into your basket

Jean picks it up and tosses it to the two little boys who accidentally hit it a bit too hard

They ask him if he wants to play since they don’t understand the concept of dates yet but he agrees and says that he can only play for a few minutes

You don’t look over since you really just don’t like kids in general and are kinda upset they interrupted your date

After a few minutes go by, you call Jean back so he tosses the boy to one of kids, says goodbye and returns

“Man, I remember being that young and just wanting someone to play with. Aren’t kids great?”

And you respond with a blunt “No”

Jean stops mid bite into his sandwich

You didn’t mean to sound so harsh. You’re honestly used to people knowing about your distaste for tiny humans

Your parents know, your friends back home now, hell you’re pretty sure some of your teachers and neighbours know

Jean’s a family man. Always has been. He’s always taken care of his mother when she got sick, he calls her often and has even made drawings of what he imagined your future kids would be like… and he’s shown them to you

“I… I’m sorry, what? I showed you that drawing I made a few months ago and you said you liked it!”

“Yeah, the drawing.” You explain

You can see him getting angry which usually ends in a big fight

You don’t even get to try and explain yourself before Jean starts shouting

“Mikasa and Eren have a kid! Why haven’t you mentioned this before?! Is it me?! Pets are kind of like kids, we have two dogs at home! You grew up with three pets of your own!”

Eventually you get tired of this shit, plus you’re getting kinda embarrassed, so you stand up and say that you’ll be back at the house

He doesn’t respond so you walk back home which isn’t too far away from the park and start to prepare yourself for the inevitable break up

Before Jean went home, he called Marco and asked to meet him at the local bar to talk for a bit

He vents everything and when Jean’s finished, Marco asks if he let you speak at all. Did he let you explain or did he interrupt every time you open your mouth

Jean doesn’t respond but has this deer in the headlights look on his face so Marco simply says “Go” and Jean is out the door and into the car (don’t worry, they didn’t drink

When he gets home, he sees you sitting in the living room looking nervous

He walks over and immediately apologizes for how he reacted then asks you why you don’t want kids

You say that you’ve just never like them. You never played house as a kid, got disgusted by Cabbage Patch and Baby Alive dolls when passing them

Then you ask the question you’ve been dreading

“Does this mean we’re gonna break up? I love you, Jean. I just don’t want kids. I wouldn’t be a good parent.”

Jean immediately responds with a “no” and says that he understands now before going into how much trouble he got into as a kid

The night ends with cuddles and kisses

Marco

You’re over at Marco’s cousin who had a baby a few days ago when he asks if you’d like to hold it

You politely decline which doesn’t upset him for two reasons. One: He gets to hold his new second cousin for longer. And two: This is Marco Bodt we’re talking about. I don’t think he knows the definition of upset

Once dinner’s over, you both offer to wash the dishes so while the rest of the Bodt’s are in the living in, you took this opportunity to tell him that you don’t want kids

And Marco, even though he doesn’t fully get it because he’s a big brother and loves watching family channels on YouTube for the kids, says “That’s ok. Parenthood isn’t for everyone. May I ask why you don’t want to have any?”

And you talk about the labour and mental health side of things

“First off, I’d be carrying a watermelon-bowling ball hybrid on my stomach for a few months so my back would be in constant pain. Then labour itself hurts like hell. They can be as painful as regular period cramps that are already as painful as a heart attack- yes, that’s true. If the baby’s a bit too big, they have to cut down there in order for it to get out which means I’d need stitches. And then there could be postpartum depression and I could develop body image issues because of all the baby fat I’d get and… if I couldn’t handle the labour, how could I handle a child once it starts to walk and talk?”

Marco nods in understanding. It’s a scary thing to have a kid. He remembers when his youngest brother was born. He was foot breached and it was too late to try and turn it around so they had to do an emergency C-section

You know how much having a big family means to him so you’re worried he’ll want to end things

But again this is Marco we’re talking about here

He assures you that he’s fine with you not wanting kids because he loves you too much to break up

“I can always babysit, or volunteer at hospitals, or maybe even get a job as a part-time teacher’s assistant or something. If you don’t want kids, I’m fine with that.”

Levi

He isn’t the one to bring it up, actually

You’re in his office while he does some paperwork when you ask his opinion on kids

“They’re snot nosed brats who don’t know how to clean shit.”

“So you don’t want any?” You ask him

He thinks you’re disappointed, upset even

“Yeah. Sorry if I just burst your dream.”

And when you shake your head with a smile, he’s confused until you say that you wanted to finally tell him how you didn’t want any kids

You both laugh a bit when you confess that you’re terrified of waking up in the middle of the night to see your kid just standing there staring at you until you ask them why they’re there

You’re also an emetophobe, so you’re terrified of seeing people puke or puking yourself so having to be in the washroom after your kid eats too much candy makes a shiver go down your spine

And since Levi is a germaphobe… Well, it’s a pretty good match

Mikasa

You two are out on a date when you catch Mikasa smiling at a baby and a toddler in the booth next to you as the toddler draws on the paper table cloth and the baby babbles gleefully

So you gently nudge her leg with your foot and just tell her how you don’t want kids

Like Armin, she understands

She’s a bit disappointed since she was supposed to have a little sibling before her parents died, but she understands where your coming from

Being a girl, she already knows how painful cramps can get so having contractions would have to be so much worse

“Do you not want kids because you don’t want to give birth? Because we could adopt or I could carry it.”

You shake your head and say that you’d be way too stressed and you just find kids creepy in general

You even mention how you hate dolls and those action figures that are actually dolls but you companies don’t wanna put the word “doll” on a toy geared towards boys

She laughs and nods, then grabs your hand

“If you don’t want kids, that’s fine.”

Sasha

You’re in the kitchen cooking dinner when Sasha comes in and shows you a stuffed animal she found from when she was born

You compliment it because it is cute, albeit really beat up from being used so much

And that’s when she says how much she loves kids and wants to be a mom

You awkwardly look down at the pot in front of you and say how you don’t want kids

She pauses

“WHY??? They’re so cute! And it’s so amazing when they take their first steps or say their first words! Plus they’re little faces are so soft and cute like pizza dough!”

You simply answer that you find them annoying and loud, and smelly and did you mention annoying?

She’s so confused that she continues to shout which upsets you and asks if she wants to be with you anymore

This causes her to stop and say that she definitely still wants to be with you

She sees just how upset she made you so she says that she can always volunteer at the hospital to take care of babies and hang out with the kids to make them feel better, and she can even babysit your friends’ kids when they want to have a night to themselves

You hug and then go back to stirring the sauce

Hanji

You’re in their lab when they say that they would like to have at least one kid, at most three

So you immediately tell them how you don’t feel the same

They answer with a simple “ok” before following up by asking why exactly

So you say how expensive even a single child is. Plus everyone and they’re grandmother wants to tell you how to parent your child

“Don’t let them get dirty. Kids need to be playing outside and coming back home covered in dirt telling you about the bug they found.”

“Don’t feed them this certain food. Feed them a lot of that food.”

“Going vegan is best for kids. Feeding lots of red meats is what’s best.”

- Hanji understands and to make you feel better about telling them something that most people might look down on, they give you statistics on kids

“Children cost $233,610 on average until they reach the age of 17.”

“Babies, toddlers and preschool age kids get about 7 or 8 colds and years while school age kids get as many as five or six.”

You smile at they’re way of making you feel better and thank them (even though you honestly didn’t feel that bad. You just don’t have a maternal/paternal/I couldn’t find a word for this for non-binary peoples but insert that word here whatever it is

[hidden-otaku-stuff]

Lockscreens (ch.10)

tw: insecurities, minor anger-driven violence

Word count: 3.85k

Genre: Angst, fluff

All trigger warnings will be tagged and posted at the beginning of each chapter! This will have *manga spoilers*

Pairings: Bokuto x fem!reader, Kuroo x fem!reader

Summary: Nearly four years ago, Bokuto left the love of his life for volleyball. Despite all the time, he’s still very much in love with her. He comes home to a major surprise leaving him wondering…What happened while he was gone?

Masterlist | prev | next

ch. 10: All Caught Up (Present)

Present, the day after the game

“Bokuto-sehsu, that was a fantastic match last night! How are you feeling today?” 

“Thank you so much Au-san! We worked really hard, and we’re so happy for a MSBY Jackal victory,” he beamed, crossing his legs and leaning forward slightly. “I’m feeling great.”

“How do you guys normally celebrate after a win?”

“Well, we’ll normally go out for a bite to eat or something.” He adjusted his sports jacket, hands fiddling with the zipper. “If we’d just flown in that night though, we’d normally head off to bed after eating something in the hotel restaurant.”

“You guys must be hungry after all that running and jumping!” She laughed. “You’re from Tokyo right? What’s the best place for a post-game meal?”

He nodded eagerly. “Yes, I was actually the ace at Fukurodani Academy when I was in high-school. We normally go to Gyu-Kaku by the stadium after a hard-fought game, win or lose. I actually took the team there last night.”

“Gyu-Kaku? That’s actually one of my favourites!” They both laughed. “Now, obviously you’ve been involved with volleyball for a good majority of your life. I gotta ask, is there anything you regret about it?” Bokuto froze, his mind running this way and that. 

He wasn’t sure why this question was always asked, and he swallowed the weight of the lies on his tongue as he repeated the same lies he had lived and breathed for the past four years.  Bokuto forced a grin, “No, not at all. I love volleyball, it’s always been there for me. I’m so happy that I have a chance to continue with it as my career.” 

“Speaking of love, any special lady in your life?” 

The corner of his mouth twitched as he forced out a laugh, his heart shattering. Of course. Just another bachelor on the MSBY team. “Not at this time,” he acknowledged, knuckles whitening. Bokuto could almost feel the jagged edges of the pieces of his heart that he’d clumsily tried to reassemble. “It’s hard balancing all the travel and practice with a dating life.” 

“Well hopefully you’ll find someone willing to do that for you.” Au smiled. “Well folks, that’s all the time we have today. Thank you for coming out!”  

As Bokuto left the studio from his live interview, he let out an extensive sigh. It wasn’t often that interviewers asked him about his past, but he supposed it was expected considering he was local to Tokyo. He turned down the street, letting his music fade in the background as he remembered his past. Bokuto still couldn’t believe that he had run into (Name) yesterday, let alone that she was married to Kuroo for gods’ sake. He sighed, face darkening. Kuroo had been the one to introduce them after all. 

“Hey Bokuto, I want you to meet someone. Come to Gym 3 later for extra practice!” A hand clapped onto his back, sending the wing-spiker lurching forward. Glancing up, he nodded at the other first-year male. 

“Who else will be there?”

Kuroo shrugged, grinning. “You’ll just have to come and see, won’t you?”  

After all the practices, Bokuto entered Gym 3 to find it empty. He picked a corner, placing his bag and stuff down before taking a sip from his water bottle. “You’re Bokuto right?” The spiker jumped, dropping his bottle. He cursed, bending down as he picked it up. A soft giggle had him looking up. “I’m (L.Name, Name),” she introduced, bending beside him as she began to towel up the split water. Bokuto stared at her, open-mouthed. “You were really good today!” She beamed, standing up with the soiled towels. 

“Thank you,” he stammered, moving to stand beside her. “What school are you from?” 

She tucked her hair behind her ear, “Nekoma.”

“Oh! You must be Kuroo’s friend?” 

(Name) laughed, eyes sparkling. “You can say that. We've been friends since grade school.” 

Golden eyes widened. “He mentioned wanting to introduce me to someone. That must be you.”

“Funny, Kuroo said the same thing about you.” She bowed. “I’ll be in your care, Bokuto-san.” His cheeks glowed as he pulled her up from her bow. 

Bokuto frowned, arriving at his temporary lodging. Under different circumstances, he would’ve asked to stay with (Name) after reconnecting, but the circumstances being what they were, he figured renting out a place for the month would be better. He sat on his couch, lips pursed. Bokuto’s phone vibrated against his thigh. “Hello?”

“Bokuto-san.”

“Akaashi!”

“I heard that you were back in Tokyo?”

Bokuto stood, his bitter expression lightening up just enough for a smile. He stood up, making his way to his kitchen. “Yes, I am! I’ll be here for a month.”

“How exciting,” Bokuto could hear the smile in Akaashi’s voice. “If you’re free, let’s meet up? I haven’t seen you in quite a while.” Bokuto filled up a glass of water, sipping it.

“I always have time for you, Akaashi!” Bokuto boomed, causing Akaashi to chuckle. 

“Thank you, Bokuto-san. I have to go now. I hope you’re doing well.” 

“See you soon, Akaashi.” 

Bokuto stood in the deafening silence of his kitchen. A heavy sigh left him, shoulders sagging. Akaashi’s calming presence had soothed some of his anxiety about being alone, but it was also a stark reminder that he was alone. Weary golden eyes scanned the kitchen.

“Kou! You’re making a mess,” she squealed, grabbing at his hands. He had been frantically whipping the bowl of cookie dough, causing it to splatter everywhere.

“No, I’m not!” He argued.

She pulled it away, wiping a bit of the splatter off of her cheek. “You sure about that?”

“Okay, maybe.” Bokuto sighed, grabbing a towel to try and wipe down the counter. He was startled when cold liquid landed on his cheek. “Huh?” He whirled around, wiping at his cheek to find a splatter of the dough on his cheeks. “Oh you’re gonna get it,” he grinned. A handful of flour went flying at her as she attempted to run around the island.

“Kou!” She shrieked, the flour landing all over her face. (Name) lunged for an egg, smashing it on top of his head. She froze, eyes widening at the silly sight. “Oh my god, you look ridiculous!” 

“You’ve got three seconds.” Bokuto wiped the dripping egg whites off of his forehead. 

She backed up, tripping over her own feet. “You wouldn’t do anything drastic, right Kou?” She cooed, panic rising in her voice.

“Of course not, love. I just wanna hug you!” With that, he lunged and cracked an egg down her shirt. Laughter filled the air as they chased each other around, their plan to make cookies long-forgotten.

He sighed. If only he could turn back time. Maybe he’d have this taste of domesticity for the rest of his life. A home instead of a temporary apartment. Someone who would come rushing to greet him once he came home instead of the void left in his heart and bed. Bokuto sighed just before his phone vibrated in his hand. 

Future wifey: When did you want to meet?

****

The next day...

“So, Bokuto is back in town? And (Name) is meeting him right now?” Kenma had Hikori on his lap, showing him how to play Minecraft. Kuroo was lounging on the bean-bag, alternating between watching his son and staring at his phone.

“Pretty much.” Kuroo sighed.

“How are you feeling about it?” Kenma patted Hikori’s head, pointing at something on the screen.

“I’m fine.” 

“No you’re not. If you were, you wouldn’t be sitting there sulking.” Kenma eyed his best friend disdainfully. “Not that I’m complaining, you know I enjoy Hikori’s company.” His yellow eyes surveyed the screen. “You can mine those blocks, Hiki.”

“Ok, Ken-san!” Hikori’s pink tongue stuck out as he examined the keyboard to press the right buttons.

“Fine, you’re right. I’m worried.”

“Why?”

“What if she still wants Bokuto?” Kuroo hesitated, chewing on his bottom lip. “I mean, they were together for almost four years.” Hazel eyes gazed with affection and a glimmer of resignation at his son. Turmoil overwhelmed him. Would Hikori prefer his biological father over him? Would she prefer Bokuto? No matter what, it had always felt that Bokuto was her first love, not him. “And they have something...permanently tying them together.”

“You’ve also been with her for the same amount of time.” Kenma cleared his throat, shifting his sharp gaze away from Kuroo. “I think that connection is more-so between you and her,” Kenma shrugged. “It’s not like he was involved other than genetically.”

“That wasn’t his fault though,” Kuroo argued. “If he hadn’t gotten the deal that day, he would’ve known and it would be him here instead of me.” 

 “But he did and it is you, not him.” Kenma looked down at his friend. “You’ve known each other for almost fifteen years. You’ve loved her for a majority of that time, whether you knew it or not.” He took control of the mouse, helping Hikori fight off a zombie. “She’s loved you for just as long. It doesn’t matter what they had together. You’ve already beat him in every possible way.” A smirk made its way onto his face as he watched Hikori play. “You’ve maxed your friendship levels. He’d have to start over at this point.” 

Kuroo rolled his eyes. “You’re such a gamer.”

“A rich one.” 

Kuroo’s face brightened as he cackled. “Thanks Kenma. You always know how to cheer me up.”

“Our friendship points are maxed out too, Kuro.”   

“Ken-san!” Hikori pointed at the screen excitedly. “I just caught this!”

“Good job, Hiki.” Kenma patted the boy’s head affectionately.

****

A few days later...

“Akaashi?”

“Yes, Bokuto-san?”

“Can we meet up?”

“Of course. I’ll text you the address of a pearl drink place, okay?”

Akaashi hung up, sighing. It had been years since he heard Bokuto so...depressed. The wing-spiker had worked hard to overcome his “emo” modes from high school, and it no longer affected him during games, but apparently something brought it back and Akaashi had an idea of what that it might be…

“So you met (Name)?”

Bokuto nodded, chewing on the tapioca balls. “Yeah, we ran into each other at the game a few days ago.”

Akaashi hesitated. “How was that?” 

“S’okay, I guess.” Bokuto shrugged, spinning in the raised chair. The two sat in bar-stools at Akaashi’s favorite pearl tea shop. Though, it was only his favorite since it was so close to his work-place. “We met up to talk the other day and caught up. I didn’t know she and Kuroo got married.”

The former setter hummed. “Yeah, they got married before Hikori was born.”

Bokuto threw his arms up. “That’s the thing! I didn’t even know they were talking together. Let alone that they were interested in each other like that.” Bokuto sighed, running a hand through his disheveled hair. “I can’t believe I came back to find my best friend having a baby with my ex-girlfriend.”

Akaashi tilted his head, twisting the straw wrapper. “I’m more surprised you didn’t come back sooner with all things considered.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Akaashi cleared his throat, “I figured you would visit more after finding out that Hikori is your son.”

Bokuto froze, short-circuiting. “He’s what?”

Akaashi paused, looking up from his pearl drink. “She didn’t tell you?” His eyebrows furrowed. “They promised that they would.”

“Congratulations, Kuroo-san.” Akaashi nodded at Kuroo and (Name). They were at (Name)’s house as she hosted Hikori’s ‘Sip and See’ party and Aya’s baby shower. The coworkers had become exceptionally close after being joined together by parenthood. The expecting mother was entertaining other guests in the living room while (Name) and Kuroo entertained their guests in the backyard.   

“Do you want to hold him, Akaashi?” (Name) offered, arms cradling a bundle of blankets.

Akaashi smiled, bowing slightly. “If you don’t mind.”

“Of course, I trust you.” She giggled, gently placing Hikori into Akaashi’s arms.

“I’ll be back, love.” Kuroo kissed (Name)’s head, nodding at Akaashi before heading over to greet his coworkers. 

Akaashi rocked Hikori slightly, a gentle smile on his face. “He has his eyes, y’know.” (Name) murmured, looking down at her son and carding through his soft locks. 

“Does he now?” Akaashi hummed. Hikori yawned, opening up his eyes as he woke up from his nap. With wide golden eyes, Hikori reached for Akaashi’s face. Akaashi chuckled, bringing his finger to Hikori’s small chubby hands. The baby squealed with laughter as he grabbed onto Akaashi’s index finger. “Does Bokuto-san know?” Akaashi peeked up at (Name).

“Not yet.”

Kuroo returned, catching their conversation. Akaashi kept his attention on (Name). “Will you tell him?” 

“Of course Akaashi.” Akaashi fixed her with a hard stare, raising an eyebrow. “I promise, we’ll tell him.” 

“Akaashi.” Gunmetal eyes slid to look over at Kuroo who grabbed his shoulder and squeezed. “We promise, Bokuto will know.” 

“I have to go.”

“Good luck, Bokuto-san.” Akaashi called after him as Bokuto sprinted out of the store.

****

“Thanks for coming in! Be sure to keep doing those stretches at home, okay?” She instructed, waving her client out. She stepped out of the hall, leaving one of the dance studios.

“Hey (Name)?” The receptionist called urgently, waving at the female.

“Yes? Is everything okay?” (Name) walked forward. Rei approached her, bending to whisper into her ear.

“There’s someone here for you. He’s been pacing the lobby for quite some time now.”

“Who is it?” Her eyes widened, brows furrowing. She didn’t have any more clients that day. (Name) glanced at her watch, it was almost time to pick up Hikori from the on-site day-care center. 

“He said his name was Bokuto?” (Name)’s jaw clenched, fingers twitching in agitation. “Oh, do you know him?” Rei asked, cocking her head. She could only nod, a million thoughts running through her mind. 

“Yeah, thanks for telling me Rei. I’ll go see him right now.” She smoothed out her clothes, taking a deep breath before she stepped into the lobby. “Bokuto?” True to Rei’s words, Bokuto was anxiously pacing up and down the lobby, looking over his shoulder at the double doors every few steps. Bokuto looked like a mess. His hair was all-over the place, golden eyes red. At the sound of her voice, Bokuto whipped around. His lip was swollen and bruised, no doubt from apprehensive chewing. 

“(Name)!” Bokuto sprinted towards her. “We need to talk.”

“It appears we do.” She looked around the lobby. “C’mon, let’s go to my office.” 

Silence clung to them as they took the stairs up to her office, which had been moved to a different wing. As soon as she shut the door, Bokuto whirled on her. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Tell you what?”

“That Hikori is my son!” He slammed his palm onto her desk, startling her.

Tears welled up in her eyes. “I...we...I was going to tell you,” she whispered. “When Hikori was older.” 

Name let out a sigh of relief, tugging the blanket under Hikori’s chin. Muscular arms snaked around her waist as the couple stood staring down at their baby. “Let him sleep,” Kuroo whispered into her ear, pressing a chaste kiss to her cheek and gently tugging her towards the door. Kuroo slipped out first while she paused to turn on some classical music. Her husband was bustling around the kitchen, pouring them mugs of warmed milk. “Is everything okay?” He asked, glancing up at her.

“Do you think we should tell Bokuto?”

Kuroo’s hands froze as he stopped mixing honey in, eyes focused on the mug with an unreadable expression. “Bokuto?” 

She hummed in response. (Name) stepped in between his arms, wrapping her arms around his chest. “I mean, biologically that’s his child.” Kuroo hesitated as a hand reassuringly rubbed his back. “Hikori is still your son,” she clarified, “and he always will be.” (Name) pulled back, looking up at Kuroo, her lips brushing his cheek. ‘But I think he’d want to know. Heavens knows you would want to if the situation was reversed.” She shrugged as she bit her bottom lip. “Bokuto doesn’t need to know any time soon.”

Kuroo nodded reluctantly, resting his forehead on hers. “Why don’t we wait until Hikori is old enough to decide whether or not he wants to meet Bokuto?” he suggested, closing his eyes. “Introducing Bokuto too soon might cause confusion or unnecessary stress to Hiki.”

A puff of warm air blew across his face as she contemplated his offer. “That’s fair. He isn’t missing a father figure and he might get confused.” Her eyes glowed with determination. “Alright. Let’s hold off on telling him until he’s old enough to understand.”  Kuroo pressed a kiss first to her forehead then her lips. “Thank you for being so understanding, love.”

Kuroo let out a soft laugh. “Anything for you, my love.”  

“Don’t you think I had a right to know?” Bokuto was pacing around her office, aggravation evident in all of his movements. Fear locked her jaw. “Why didn’t you tell me when we met up the other day?” He snarled, running his hand through his hair again. The knock at her door shook her out of her reverie.

She cleared her throat, glancing at the door. “Yes?”

“(Nickname)? Are you ok?” 

She swallowed, steadying her voice and steeling her nerves. “Yeah, Iwaizumi. I’m fine, just dropped something.”

“Alright then. I’m next door if you need anything!”

“Thank you!” She pinched her nose, taking more deep breaths. “Look, Bokuto. You left.” She hissed, jabbing a finger into his chest. “Years ago. I didn’t hear from you until. This. Week.”

“That’s not my fault!” Bokuto argued, grabbing her wrist. “You told me to go!” He threw her hand away from him, golden eyes narrowed.  

“I did.” She nodded, closing her eyes. Her nostrils flared as she took deep breaths. “I wanted you to be happy and to be the pro-player you always wanted to be.” 

“Babe, guess what?” She looked up from the tea-cup that sat in front of her, over the pastries as (e/c) eyes made contact with gold. Her eyebrows quirked up as she took a sip. Bokuto could hardly contain his own excitement as he blurted out, “I just got scouted!” 

Her eyes widened, choking slightly on the hot beverage. “Really? That’s great!” 

He nodded eagerly. “Yeah, it’s a two-year contract for now. They want to send me to their training camp starting next week and I’ll be gone for the next six months. After that, I’m going to officially join the team and everything!” A soft pout made its way to his face as he played with his fingers. He didn’t want to leave her - not when she was so close to finishing up school. “That means I have to leave this weekend.” 

Delicately placing the tea-cup down, a soft hand reached out for his. “Kou, it’s okay. This is the opportunity you’ve been looking for all of your life.” (Name) swallowed thickly, causing him to tilt his head at her. What was the matter? But his worries were quelled with her next words. “I’m not going to keep you here. Please, go live your life and you better be the best ace out there, okay?” 

Apprehension bubbled in his stomach, something didn’t feel right. He grasped her hand harder, fixing her with a paralysing golden stare. “We can make this work! I’ll come home to visit, and we’ll call every day, I promise.” Silently, he promised to himself, ‘And when you’re finished with school, I will come back and bring you with me.’ 

The corner of her lips graced him with a timid smile. “I’m sure we can.” 

“I love you.” Bokuto’s plush lips caressed her hand, squeezing it tightly once more. His heart felt warm knowing that he had her support. Knowing that he had a plan for their future now. Excitement filled him once more as he imagined it. Him, established in his professional volleyball career. Her, joining him in Osaka and building her own future as they joined their lives together as full-fledged adults.  

She squeezed back, looking at their intertwined hands. “I love you too.” 

His eyes widened, the memory hitting him out of nowhere sending a surge of fury through him. Bokuto lunged towards her, both hands now clasped onto her wrists. “Does Hikori know?” Bokuto demanded.

Her eyes widened. “Kou, that hurts,” she whimpered, trying to tug out of his grip.

“Does Hikori know?” Bokuto trembled like a leaf during the season's change.

“No, he doesn’t.” Tears welled up in her eyes. “We were going to wait until he was older so that he would understand.”

“So you hid it from both of us?” Bokuto scoffed. Hurt and anger crossed his expression. “Why would you lie?”

(Name) yanked her arms away, rage surging through her. Red marks were left on her arms and were rubbed furiously. “Bokuto, you left me. You ghosted me. You have absolutely no right to come in here demanding jack-shit from me after that.” She let out a deep laugh, eyes glinting dangerously. “Why would I tell my son that his father abandoned his mother especially when there was already someone else there to love and raise him?”

At her words, Bokuto deflated, anger dissipating completely. “I’m...I’m sorry, (Name). I didn’t…I.” Bokuto collapsed onto her patient table, face buried into his palms. “I’m so sorry,” he whimpered. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. Or to abandon you. It was just so hard, I didn’t want to hold you back.” Hot tears dripped down his face and splattered onto the ground. “Fuck, (Name). I was in so much pain when I left. I didn’t…I couldn’t…Not like this.” Bokuto’s body shook in sobs. Her anger faded as she watched him. Pity overwhelmed her, causing her throat to tighten.

She stepped closer, hesitantly wrapping her arms around his quivering form. Bokuto stiffened before burying his face into her shoulder. “It’s okay, Kou. I know,” she cooed softly. 

His body trembled as he clung onto her, struggling to breath. “I know I don’t deserve it but I...I wanna try again. Can I just try to be a part of Hikori’s life? We don’t even need to get back together,” he rambled in sheer desperation, tears soaking into her shirt. How could they? He had been replaced long ago and he hadn’t even realised it. “He doesn’t need to know that I’m his dad. Not yet.” Another sob tore through his body as his grip tightened. “I just want to be a part of his life. Is that okay?” 

(Name) bit her lip, glancing at the picture frame on her desk. Hikori and Kuroo stared back at her. Hikori was perched on Kuroo’s shoulders as they wandered the festival streets waiting for the firework show. 

“Please.” He whispered hoarsely, pulling back to reveal golden eyes that glistened with pain. “I know I don’t deserve your kindness. But please.” Bokuto took a shaky breath only to break out into harsher sobs. “Please (Name).”

*****

Fun Facts

💟 “Au” means ‘meeting’

💟 Though he was used to answering the ‘regrets’ question, it never not easier for Bokuto

💟 Bokuto had planned on renting the apartment for only a week - enough time to meet up with (Name) and then ask to stay with her, but ultimately extended his reservation in order to recuperate 

💟 Kuroo had never really gotten over his insecurities about Hikori’s birth

💟 Kenma loved showing Hikori how to play games, and they would often meet up monthly for game nights. (Name) refused to put Hikori in the spotlight though so Kenma wasn’t allowed to stream whenever Hikori was over

💟 Bokuto was overwhelmed with his own emotions and insecurities regarding Kuroo’s relationship with (Name) [more on this next chapter] 

💟 Japanese people call milk-tea/boba/bubble tea drinks ‘tapoica juice’ 

💟 Akaashi never brought it up to Bokuto because he assumed that Bokuto would have mentioned it to him if he wanted to talk about it. Unfortunately, Akaashi was not surprised about how things ended up happening 

💟 (Name) was surprised that Bokuto remembered where she worked. When they had met-up, Bokuto had seemed zoned out for a majority of it. 

💟 (Name)’s office was moved closer to Iwaizumi’s office due to reasons

💟 (Name) isn’t the type to get angry. But when Bokuto started making demands while getting angry and violent, she couldn’t help but lash out. She had been suppressing her own rage at him for years

*****

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[randomficsandshit]

Bellarke Fic Rec

*NONE OF THESE FICS ARE MINE*

Please do not forget. I have not written any of these. I’m simply recommending favorites of mine over the years. If you love something, send the author your love, not me :) and if any links don’t work, send me a message and I’ll see what i can do, this is a pretty old list 

There's A Nap For That 

Word Count: 6k+

AU. Based on that post: "If you both agree to take a nap instead of going out, it’s a date." Or: The one where Bellamy and Clarke keep taking naps together. You know, platonically. See also: Let Them Rest.

If You Wear A Dress and Have an Animal Sidekick, You Are a Princess

Word Count: 3k+

AU. Bellamy can't not take care of every animal he sees, and Clarke can't not find it endearing.

*Mouth Like Heaven, Kisses Like Stars

Word Count: 4k+

His eyebrows are knitted together in a slight frown, the kind he usually gets when he’s trying to work out a difficult problem. Finally, he meets her eyes again and says, almost hesitantly underneath his mask of bravado, “Well, I’m always here to lend a helping hand if you need it, princess.” Clarke actually chokes this time, and it feels like all the breath has been knocked out of her. -or, the time when everything goes downhill and bellamy just goes down.

Wingwoman 

Word Count: 1k+

AU. Clarke didn't think she'd need a wingwoman at the park playground when she's babysitting her one-year-old niece, but then Bellamy Blake strolls up, and Amelia rises to the occasion, luckily for her.

When Love Hits (Better Make It Worth The Fall)

Word Count: 4k+

AU. (She's All That) Four times Clarke gets hit on the head (+1 time she doesn't) during her last semester of high school, and every single time, Bellamy Blake is somehow involved.

All This Time

Word Count: 5k+

AU. Four times Bellamy innocently kisses Clarke, + one time he doesn't.

Take This Heart

Word Count: ~

clarke moves into bellamy's room. this is both soft and full of disdain for clarke's terrible... everything in season 3

You're Cool On The Internet, At Least

Word Count: 9k+

AU. Look, Clarke will not dwell on this. She will not get flustered just because a possibly cute guy on Facebook apparently shares her views on what constitutes a terrible person.

(Or: Clarke meets Bellamy on Facebook. They hit it off.)

(One of my personal favs)

We Came Out On Top

Word Count: 11k+

AU. “How can you guys be all like this and then be at each other’s throats during trivia night?” “Because it’s trivia night,” both Bellamy and Clarke said at the same time, sharing the same why don’t you get it tone. Bellamy, Clarke, and the trivia night rivalries only they care about.

She Does What The Night Does To The Day

Word Count: 5k+

AU. He assumes she would just giggle and continue petting him while saying how pretty he is, but instead, she pulls back with what might have been a leer had she not been three sheets to the wind, and says, “Your body is 65% water and I’m thirsty.” And then if that wasn’t bad enough, she stumbles out of his arms and fucking winks at him. Or at least he thinks it’s a wink. She used both eyes instead of one. or, the one where Bellamy is woefully and terribly oblivious.

The Giant Squid's Got Nothing On You

Word Count: 6k+

AU. Objectively, Clarke knows she’s probably right, but she still can’t help but lift her chin determinedly and say, “He is not going to find it.” She can barely hear her scoff in reply over the din of the cafe. “Yeah right,” says Raven, “The internet is forever, Clarke Griffin. He will find it eventually.” or, Clarke finds her new muse at the local cafe

Alone Together 

Word Count: 11k+

AU. Clarke shows up at Bellamy’s apartment at exactly two minutes to midnight on a Thursday. He's not sure how she ends up staying the night — or why he doesn't turn her away, when it happens again. And again.

Cold As The Wind Blows (so hold me in your arms)

Word Count: 3k+

AU. Clarke gets trapped in the storage room overnight, but at least she's not by herself.

Tequila Regrets

Word Count: 6k+

AU. Clarke and Bellamy have been roommates for a while, and Clarke has been in love with him for almost as long, but when she finds out that his terror of a boss has marked him as her next conquest, Clarke offers to pose as his fake girlfriend for the staff Christmas party to scare her off. She did not think this all the way through.

Mutual

Word Count: 6k+

AU. As acts of rebellion go, Clarke knows that getting a tumblr is both minor and pathetic. But it's her secret, her own tiny, online space where no one knows she's Clarke Griffin, Hollywood A-lister. She's just some nobody with like five followers and opinions no one cares about. And then she makes a friend.

Wish On Everything

Word Count: 11k+

AU. It's not as if Bellamy wanted anything bad to happen to his mother. All he wanted was to get custody of his little sister, so he'd know she was taken care of. And after eight years, he's basically given up all hope of that. Then his mother does die, and social services tells him he gets Octavia.

Legs Crossed Towards Each Other 

Word Count: 7k+

It starts with Raven wanting to set up Mr. Sinclair, out of what are probably genuinely good intentions. It's everyone else who turns it into a massive headache for Bellamy.

What The Hell Is The Catch? 

Word Count: 6k+

Bellamy gets tickets to take his AP US History kids to Hamilton, and Clarke figures he's going to need a chaperone. She's happy to help out. And if he says she owes him for it? Totally worth it.

If You Wanna Reach Me

Word Count: 5k+

AU. Clarke: So yeah, in the dream it's like We're in New York, I think. I'm not really sure, but you know how it is when it's a dream and you just know something. So we're in New York.

Jasper: whos we??????

Clarke: Most of us, I think? It's always kind of hard to remember when it's a dream. Like I just thought "everyone's here!" but I mostly interacted with Bellamy.

Raven: did u mean: real life

Time Enough For Rocking When We're Old

Word Count: 14k+

boston > boston/camb/brook > housing > apts by owner $2-300 Roxbury small room in 3-br 1-bath house, spouse preferred (Roxbury) Pair of siblings looking for housemate. Due to extenuating circumstances I will share with interested parties, I would prefer a roommate who is willing to get married for legitimate personal reasons that do not include sex or anything sketchy. If not interested in marriage, room still available for $300/month plus utilities. Pets okay, no smokers, NO DRUG USE. Please don't just email me to tell me this is fucked up, I know it is, you really don't have to tell me. If you are interested in the marriage part, a female spouse is preferred, but male would be okay too. I promise I will explain this if you really want details, but I'm not putting it online. Serious inquiries only.

Must Love Intersectionality 

Word Count: 2k+

AU. Bellamy hates his stupid history of colonialism class, until he makes a friend. Weirdly, the friend isn't actually in his class, they just share the same desk and like to write angry notes about the patriarchy. Bellamy's a fan.

Regardless Of Warnings, The Future Doesn't Scare Me At All

Word Count: 20k+

AU. 2 Chapters. After an argument with her mother about her unplanned pregnancy, Clarke Griffin ends up back in the small town where her father used to live, spilling her sob story to a sympathetic bartender. And then, somehow, she ends up moving in with the bartender and her brother.

(You Might Find) You Get What You Need

Word Count: 20k+

AU. Clarke needs a date to her ex's sister's wedding, and she's at the point of hiring someone off the internet when Octavia points out that her brother is always looking for money. So Clarke takes him instead.

Just As You Are 

Word Count: 10k+

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single Clarke Griffin in need of a Latin tutorial partner will always end up paired with Bellamy Blake.

I've Been Dreaming Of You From The Other Side (I Know You So Well)

Word Count: 17k+

AU. Ten years ago, Clarke found out she had superpowers. Now she's all ready to start a new life: English teacher by day, vigilante by night. All she has to do is figure out how to be a superhero, avoid getting caught and shipped off by mandatory metahuman registration, and not strangle the stupid history teacher down the hall. It'll be fun.

She's Touching His Chest Now, He Takes Off Her Dress Now

Word Count: 26k+

If Clarke had thought arguments could actually lead to switching bodies with someone, she wouldn't have been surprised this one really did. But since that's actually impossible, waking up as Bellamy Blake is still a shock.

I Know That Fortune Is Waiting To Be Kind

Word Count: 20k+

When Bellamy is eleven, his mother dies, and he finds out his father was a prince, which makes him a prince too, albeit a bastard prince. And when he's twelve, his family decides he would be a good candidate for marriage to Princess Clarke of Arcadia. Princess Clarke thinks so too, but only because he agrees to come back in ten years and help her make sure the wedding never takes place. It seems like a really good deal, when he's twelve.

And Dream How Wonderful Your Life Will Be

Word Count: 19k+

Clarke has known Bellamy Blake for two months when she finds out two completely unexpected things about him: he's married, and he has an eight-year-old son. He's also getting a divorce and he needs a roommate, and she's got a spot. It's complicated.

One Deep Breath and One Big Step

Word Count: 17k+

Clarke Griffin has been groomed for Ark University and Sigma Kappa Upsilon sorority since she was a kid, and she's a little annoyed to discover, upon getting to college, that she really does like Sig-Kap. That she wants to pledge. There's just this weird thing where they don't seem to like her new friend Bellamy.

Write What You Know

Word Count: 13k+

Bellamy understands every individual choice that got him to this point. He started writing erotica to make some extra money, he didn't correct the assumption that he was a woman, made up some facts about his new persona, and now his publisher wants him to start making public appearances, so he needs someone to be that persona. And Clarke really is the logical choice. It all makes sense to him, when he thinks about it, but he will admit it is incredibly weird. Luckily, Clarke's still got his back.

When Can I See You Again? 

Word Count: 13k+

Bellamy doesn't recognize a lot of people he meets at conventions, even if he's met them a lot. It's just hard to keep track. But the girl who comes once or twice a year is pretty easy to remember. And that's before her foster mom shows up in a panic because she took a bus to Vegas alone. After that happens, it's basically all over.

But They Ain't Doing It Right

Word Count: 14k+

“So,” he begins, running a hand through his hair. It’s a lost cause trying to work it back into some semblance of order. “What is this?” “What do you mean?” He doesn’t meet her eye when he says, “Once is a mistake, twice is a pattern,” too busy picking at a loose thread in his hem. “Wanna go three times and just make it a habit?” she jokes weakly, and his head snaps back up, eyes boring into hers. She flushes under the intensity of his gaze. “Actually,” he begins slowly, “That doesn’t sound that bad.” or, the friends with benefits au that got away from me

Phone A Friend

Word Count: 7k+

Clarke does not ask Bellamy for tips on having a threesome because she's hoping to have a threesome with him. He's just the only person she knows personally who has actually had a threesome, so he seems like her best resource. And when the opportunity to have a threesome with him presents itself, it's not like she's going to just say no.

I'm Swept Away and My Heart Ensnared 

Word Count: 15k+

Raven hums low in her throat. “Well, at least Bellamy can make it up in time. So you won’t get too axe murdered.” Clarke wrinkles her nose, leaning on the banister of the upstairs porch. From here she can see the ocean, just a five minute walk away, and she breathes in brine soaked air. “He’s still coming?” “What do you mean if he’s still coming? He didn’t say anything otherwise.” She shifts from foot to foot, feeling herself colour slightly even though there’s no one there to see her. “I just assumed that because you and Miller couldn’t make it up anymore he wouldn’t come today.” “Why the hell did you think that?” “Because Bellamy and I aren’t exactly friends, Raven." or, Bellamy Blake and Clarke Griffin don't really like each other. Or at least that's what they tell themselves.

Afraid To Call This Place Our Own 

Word Count: 22k+ 

(Single mom!Clarke and Teacher!Bellamy, with the usual angsty shenanigans.)

And Are We There Yet (Home) 

Word Count: 2k+

A Bellamy POV and mini sequel to afraid to call this place our own. (this shit made me cry) 

Bloodstains and Innocence: A Clarke Griffin Mystery

Word Count: 27k+

Police Chief Clarke Griffin knows three things: 1) Charles Pike is dead. 2) Octavia Blake is the prime suspect. 3) Bellamy Blake a giant pain in the ass with no business being involved in a murder investigation, and yet here he is, working the case alongside her. A hurricane is approaching the sleepy little island of Arkadia, NC as evidence begins to mount against Octavia and Clarke wrestles with her increasingly complicated relationship with Bellamy, all while trying to answer one simple question: Who killed Charles Pike?

Is There An IUD That Can Stop The Image of You and Me? 

Word Count: 8k+

It's probably impossible to be friends with benefits with someone who might not even count as a friend, but "lab partners with benefits" isn't a thing yet. So that's probably the right term. Whatever it is, Clarke's enjoying it. As long as she ignores the whole feelings thing.

I’m Gonna Leave You Anyway

Word Count: 65k+

Modern AU inspired by the show You're the Worst, where Bellamy and Clarke hook up after a wedding.

                  And You Can Have This Heart To Break

Word Count: 37k+

Clarke knows she's being a little over-dramatic in her complaining about having to move to Maine, but it does seem pretty unreasonable of her mother to drag her to a small town in the middle of nowhere for the three months between high-school graduation and her starting college. As it turns out, the summer is great. It's just the summer ending that's the problem.

Museums and Mistletoe 

Word Count: 1k+

Clarke buys Bellamy a museum ticket for Christmas and he acts like it’s the best gift he’s ever received. She buys one for herself too, because she knows none of their other friends have the time to go—finding a day they can all get together to exchange gifts is hard enough—and if it gets her an uninterrupted afternoon with her best friend and all around favorite asshole, she’s definitely not complaining.

When In Brome

Word Count: 57k+

Octavia is the one who tells Clarke about "Untitled Gladiator Project," because she thinks Bellamy wants to be on it, and also thinks Clarke is the one who will be able to convince him to do it. Plus, it turns out Clarke actually needs to be involved, because all of the gladiators are required to have girlfriends with them, and, honestly, the more she hears about it, the more of a mess it seems like. On the other hand, it sounds kind of hilarious, and definitely right up Bellamy's alley, so there's probably no harm in trying out. It might be fun.

It’s All Internet Interaction

Word Count: 11k+

Bellamy is less than pleased when soap opera star Clarke Griffin lands the lead role in the Callister reboot. So, naturally, he writes about it. It’s not supposed to blow up. She’s not supposed to respond to it either, but here they are.

Just Dive Right In (And Follow My Lead)

Word Count: 24k+

Clarke Griffin needs a partner. Bellamy Blake just happens to walk into her rink. (Or: Bellamy and Clarke as ice dancing partners, training together through the years to the Olympics.)

Sleight Of Hand

Word Count: 56k+

Notorious criminal prodigy Bellamy Blake has been tasked with a seemingly impossible heist. Luckily enough, he just might have the right crew for it. *Personal Favorite*

And Then We Were Chasing Comets

Word Count: 21k+

If you told Clarke Griffin that she would become best friends with the resident black sheep of Arkadia, she would have difficulty believing it, let alone the fact that he apparently wrote an entire book about her. (Or: Clarke and Bellamy through the years, as childhood best friends.)

See Me In Hindsight 

Word Count: 16k+

“You’re kind of a mess,” He says mildly. “Thanks captain obvious.” The corners of his mouth twitch a little, like he’s holding back a smile. She is not remotely pleased by that. Not at all. Or, the one where they're project partners and maybe, perhaps, friends. (And maybe, perhaps, more.)

Challenge Accepted

Word Count: 30k+

He doesn't even like Clarke Griffin, he's pretty sure he hates how easy everything has come to her. So imagine his surprise when he finds himself at their office party looking through dick pics on her phone. “You can do better, Princess. In fact, I can do better.” As soon as she turns to him with raised eyebrows and an open mouthed grin he knows he’s said too much but she’s not going to let it drop. “Oh really, you think you can do better, Blake?” And he's never backed down from a challenge in his life.

Found Myself In A Second 

Word Count: 5k+

The one where Clarke finds a lost wallet belonging to one Bellamy Blake.

Every Rose Can Sting You 

Word Count: 15k+

Clarke expected to encounter annoying guys when she got forced into becoming the Bachelorette, but she didn't realise that the most annoying of them all would be the head cameraman. Because seriously, Bellamy Blake is a total prick. It's a good thing there's absolutely no chance of her ever actually liking him, because boy, would that be inconvenient…

Choking On Your Alibis 

Word Count: 7k+

Bellamy gets a girlfriend and Clarke handles it spectacularly well

[come-on-shitty-boys]

//general dating headcannons//

Characters: Bokuto Koutarou/Kuroo Tetsurou/Akaashi Keiji

Warnings: none :)

Word Count: 2K (~630 a piece)

Notes: kdhfesdkfje catch me getting carried away on Kuroo’s ope 0-0

Bokuto Koutarou

My literal husband ;-;

He’s such a sweet boyf oml hi yes, where do I order one?

Bokuto 100% dates to marry.  He’s not here for flings or anything like that, so your relationship will turn serious pretty fast.

Bo is a simp and no one can tell me otherwise, so when it comes to PDA? Oh, he’s C L I N G Y

He always wants to hold your hand or sometimes he’ll walk behind you and cling to your waist.  It’s definitely super hard for both of you to walk, but it’s adorable and makes him happy, so you’re not really going to complain.

If you hug onto his arm? He’s going to melt, especially if you trail your fingers up and down his bicep

It’s the same when the two of you are in private.  He likes to have contact with you whenever possible.  He’ll lay your head in his lap if you’re both laying on the couch or he’ll sit you in his lap and place little kisses at the base of your neck, right above the collar of your shirt.

His clothes are your clothes.  At this point, you wear his training jacket more than he does.  Sweatshirts? Flannels? Shorts?  That’s shared territory right there.

And my G O D does he love it.  He already has to buy bigger clothes because he’s got those wide shoulders, so his clothes tend to either fit you perfectly or completely swallow you, there is no in between.

If you’re thicc too? He has 100% stolen your leggings, just to see the appeal of them.  Please hide them, because oH he understands now.

He gets jealous jealous.  As in, he will place himself between you and the guy trying to talk to you and he’ll act all big and tough.  But the minute the other dude backs off?  Baby boy is back, wanting hugs.  He’ll kiss you all over your face and be really pouty, asking if you’re okay and telling you that he loves you ;-;

Bokuto hoots bye i don’t make the rules. Okay yeah i kinda do, but still.

It’s not like HOOOOOT, but like a really soft h o o and he probably kinda wiggles in his spot, real happy

Bo has N O control over how he sleeps.  He’ll always start out really normal, like you’ll be tucked into his side or something, but by the time you guys wake up? S T A R F I S H he is on his face, limbs covering the whole bed, just snoring away

When he’s away for games, he’s always on the phone with you.  Like, the guys will try to hang out or something and he’ll definitely go off to his room with a “Oh, I want to call Y/N before she goes to bed, but I’ll come by later!” 

And then he just doesn’t because he’s the one who fell asleep, not you.

Compliments the shit out of you.  You’re his hype man and he is yours.  He’s constantly telling you that you look beautiful or if you send him a selfie, he’s absolutely sending back the simp emoji, asking how he got so lucky.

He calls you ‘babe’ but usually only when he wants your attention or if he’s in another room and needs something, so expects lots of “Baaaaaaaaaaabe”s to be headed your way.

Other times?  He calls you by name.  Because there’s a million people who get called babe or sweetheart, but your name is yours, so it feels special and kinda intimate to him?  So, if he’s feeling a little extra sentimental, he’s going to bury his face in your neck and just whisper lots of quiet, “I love you, Y/N”s over and over again.

Kuroo Tetsurou

R O O S T E R H E A D A S S that I love very very much

He’s a complete dork and I know the fandom makes him to be some kind of smooth talking God I’m guilty of it too but-

He’s literally not.  He fumbles over his words so much when he’s around you.  You guys can be dating for years and he’ll still have his moments where he’s a stuttering mess in front of you.

Asking you out?  You suffered second-hand embarrassment.  His face was about as red as his jersey and the boy was so nervous, rubbing the back of his neck, refusing to look at you, but then just shyly raising his eyes to look at you and muttering,

“Do you maybe wanna go out sometime?”

INSTANTLY STARTS APOLOGIZING

“But- but only if you want, of course! Don’t feel like you have to say yes, I can take rejection!  I’m so sorry.  I probably made you really uncomfortable.  You know what?  You don’t have to answer.  I’m just going to go.”

He’s so shook when you say yes, but then immediately puts his cool guy act back on, like “psshh of course you do.”

I don’t see him being super into PDA or physical contact period?  There’s something really special about just being near each other to him.  Just accidentally bumping shoulders or brushing hands while the two of you stroll, talking about anything and everything.

Even in private, there’s not a ton of physical contact.  Maybe tangling legs together as you sit on opposite ends of the couch, but that’s really it.  He likes being in close proximity with you, but he doesn’t need to be touching you at all times.

But he’s down to cuddle if you ask.  He’ll let you lay on top of him and hide your face in his neck or his chest.  Sometimes you guys will talk, but most of the time?  Cuddle time = nap time

He doesn’t get super jealous, but he won’t hesitate to come stand behind you if some guy is trying to hit on you.  Kuroo will probably just play with your hair or make some kind of comment about how that bracelet he bought you looks really nice on you.  Just dropping subtle hints that you’re taken.

Afterwards, though, he just drops it.  It doesn’t really bother him.  He knows well enough that if you didn’t want to be with him, you would’ve broken up with him.  He just wants to be there in case someone tries to make you uncomfortable.

Gamenightgamenightgamenight

I’m talking like board games.  Hours and hours of just sitting at the kitchen table with a bunch of your guys’ friends, slowly ruining relationships, but overall having a good time.

Kuroo plays Dungeons and Dragons.  I’ve said this SO many times and no one is going to tell me otherwise.  So, if you show any interest in maybe wanting to play, or, better yet, if you already know how to play?  He’s bringing you to A L L of the future sessions.

He’s probably going to write your character into his character’s backstory, so when Dungeon Master!Kenma scolds him for playing reckless in order to protect you, Kuroo can retort with, “Well, actually, if you paid attention when I was telling my backstory, you would know- *insert long-winded backstory of how your characters know each other and how his character vowed to your character’s dying father that he would protect you etc etc*”

Kuroo is super into domestic life with you, so you guys probably moved in together as soon as possible.  As in, if you started dating in high school, you were sharing an apartment your first year of college. 

He just has a lot of fun doing little household things with you, like cooking, cleaning, or just enjoying quiet evenings together after all of the work is done for the day.

Kuroo said “I love you” first, but it took you both forever to say it, because you were both kind of new to this dating thing and you had always been told that it was a really big deal, so you didn’t want to rush that.

;-; please take care of my dorky rooster

Akaashi Keiji

Akaashi is pretty easy-going in relationships, but he’s also super romantic.

As in, he has hand-written you love letters.  He’s got really neat writing too, so that just adds to their appeal.  Akaashi probably has a wax seal that he seals all of the envelopes with? I don’t know why, but he seems like the type of guy to have one.  

You guys have a book club, just the two of you.  Oh, it’s so cute.  It started as the two of you forcing each other to read your favorite books, but then, you guys ran out of books to share?  So, once a month, you guys will go to the local bookstore and just spend a good hour or two trying to decide what book to give the other next.  

Akaashi 100% always recommends classic novels.  Things like Sense & Sensibility, Fahrenheit 451, Lord of the Flies, and Brave New World am i saying that because that’s my favorite book? more likely than you’d think.

He’s a lot more prepared for these shopping escapades that you are.  He usually knows exactly what he wants to get you.  If they don’t have it?  That’s fine.  He has a list.

You on the other hand?  You’re asking the clerks what they recommend, reading the back of every book that seems like something he might enjoy, but you usually resort to dystopian novels (Never Let Me Go, Gone, The Handmaid’s Tale, etc), because he likes analyzing the politics and seeing how they could be metaphors for today’s world.  

Damn this really turned into me just recommending books huh

After you two pick out the selections for the month, you two coffee hop.  So, each month, you try a new cafe and you will spend hours just sipping coffee and reading.

He gave you a first edition copy of the first book that you recommended to him for your anniversary one year.  Akaashi wrote you a letter, telling you how happy he was to have spent so much time with you and that he can’t wait to share more books with you and probably some really poetic stuff, because he’s a good writer, but he hid it in your favorite part, so you don’t get to read it right away.  

Okay, now that I got that out of my head.  Like Kuroo, Akaashi isn’t super into PDA, but he does like to hold your hand.  He also always offers to carry your bag.

Akaashi likes to fidget with your fingers.  The two of you could be out or just hanging at home, but he’s playing with your fingers.  It’s just a habit for him.  He used to fidget with his own hands a lot, but now he’s got yours, so not only does he get to keep his hands busy, he gets to hold onto your hand

He doesn’t get jealous.  Or at least, you don’t think so.  He’s really good at hiding any sense of envy he might feel.  He doesn’t say anything.  He knows that you can take care of yourself, but he’s likely right there next to you, possibly playing with your fingers behind your back.

It’s a really chill relationship dynamic for the most part.  You two could be dating for a week and it’ll already feel like you’ve been together for years.  You guys just vibe really well, so there was never that awkward stage at the beginning of the relationship.  Likely because the two of you started off as friends, so slipping into dating wasn’t a very hard transition.

Akaashi isn’t one to say “I love you” a lot, but he really does love you more than anything.  He likes to take care of you and he tries to give you the best life possible and that says I love you more than any words ever could.

[pretend-writer]

Kids Of The Future (Chapter 3)

(gif cred: @beth-cassidy)

Mini-Series

Summary: After time traveling from the apocalypse in 2019, a surprise waits for Diego and Y/N as they arrive at Dallas, Texas circa 1960.

Pairing: Hargreeves x sibling!reader, Diego Hargreeves x reader

Word Count: 2.2k words

Warning: mention of violence, mention of sex

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A few weeks passed by and we find Vanya, shopping at our local store with a lady and a boy. I tried waving at her but she gave me a weird look instead.

Eventually down the line, we found out that she had amnesia. She'd had gotten hit by a car, losing her memory which made her not recognize me at all.

We then found Luther at a bar, Diego and I happened to find him there one night when we had one of our friends from the Karate Dojo babysit Belinda. We were having our little date night and of course, they ruin a heartwarming reunion by bickering like a married couple despite not seeing each other for three years.

Five appeared out out of nowhere; as usual. He said he had been trying to find us for years. I'd say he did a shitty job considering that Diego and I found everyone else first except for Klaus. Our favorite cult leader reunited with Allison before any of us found each other.

'How did you manage to drop us off at different timelines?' Allison placed her finger on her temple, trying to make sense in all of this.

'Better question; Why did you two decide to make this love ring?' Luther joked, looking around the Karate Gym. He was the curious one that wanted to see what our Dojo looked like and he was here to make fun of it. Great.

'Okay, Bartender shut it.' Diego hissed at Luther. I never understood how they could go back to arguing even after years of being apart.

Five rolled his eyes, 'Anyways. Now that I've finally found you guys, I-'

'I found you actually.' I commented, grinning as I corrected Five.

'Okay fine! You found me, you genius of a sister. Why don't you find us a way to get back to 2019 then?'

'Three years apart and you're still a dick.' I flicked Five in the forehead.

Klaus laughed, clapping his hands. 'Ahaha, Good one Y/N!'

Vanya looked around the room as everyone else joined Klaus for a laugh. With a confused look on her face, she raised her hand. 'Can I ask a question?'

'Does it involve us getting back home?' Five asked.

'No.'

Five sighed, 'What?'

'We are siblings right?' Vanya scratched her head, looking directly at me as if she was judging me. I could tell what she was implying, causing me to blush a little.

'Okay, for your information, we aren't biologically related. We didn't even have time to act as siblings, Reginald made sure we didn't have a life.' Diego defended himself, squinting his eyes at Vanya.

'But still.' Klaus commented.

'Luther, Allison, don't act like this doesn't involve you guys too.' I practically threw them under the bus, I hated being the center of attention.

'You two have a kid together- a kid!' Luther face palmed, shaking his head.

'It's not our child!' Diego and I said in sync, we should've definitely braced for these comments before this family meeting.

Vanya cocked her head, 'Why did you guys name her Belinda?'

'Wow, more questions.' Five said sarcastically.

Biting my lip, I tried to ease my nerves. I was a little shy about talking to my child in front of my siblings. 'Uhm, her nickname is Bel and I thought it'd be right to make her name similar to Ben. A bit cheesy yeah but I really miss him and it's a cute name so.'

Allison and Vanya awed, Klaus making a sour face as he turned around to face no one. Perhaps talking to his ghost friend that he always argued with.

'What? What are you so butthurt about Klaus?'

Quickly turning back around, he flashed a fake smile. 'Nothing, nothing. So lovely you two. Congrats on the real fake kid you two had.'

Diego scratches his head and continued, making a joke. 'Anymore questions before we end this interview?'

Klaus raised his hand, 'Are you and Y/N not going to date? I mean you guys are raising a child together right? And I'm sure a lot happens behind closed doors with you two. It's no secret the tensio-'

'Okay, interview over.' I grinned and turned to Five. 'I sort of have an idea of a way to get to 2019.'

'What would that be?'

'The briefcase. I ca-'

Five chuckled, shaking his head as he crossed his arms. 'There's no "I can", Y/N. We're going to get caught because I'm the only one who know the way around The Commission.'

'Let me help, Five. I don't wanna sit around and wait.'

'Well, you have no choice because you're going to have to! I'll set up a trap for The Handler to come, figure out a way for her to come find me. You guys just stay put.'

'You're letting me help, Five.' I stood up and walked toward my small-but-sort-of-older brother. 'My baby may be in danger so now I need to come with you to help you take down The Handler.'

'Are you crazy, stupid or all of the above? This has nothing to do with you and Diego's love child!'

'It has everything to do with her!' I yelled back, 'Diego and I are involved in this crazy bitch's business, now so is Bel and I have to protect her. So let me help you.'

'So you can be a burden? I don't think so.'

'Fi-' before I was able to get another word out of my mouth, Five disappeared; Just how he did every time he was annoyed with an argument. Typical.

Vanya's eyes widened, 'Wow. This family is a little overwhelming.'

'Tell me about it.' Klaus sighed, 'Who wants to get wasted?'

'I'm in!' Allison grinned and eyed the rest of us.

Diego shook his head. 'No, no, no. You know I don't put poison into my body.'

'Come on, I've been stuck here thinking I didn't have a family. The least we can do is keep each other company.' Vanya smiled sweetly. It was so hard to process the sweet Vanya that we knew nearly destroyed the whole planet. Well, she technically did.

'The last time I drank, I-' Luther paused, his face turning red from having a flashback. 'Yeah, no I'm not drinking.'

'Popped your cherry right? We all knew that.' Klaus nudged his brother on his arm, 'Drinks on me! I already have loads to share. Y/N?'

On one hand, I was worried about what might happen to us. Not going back to our timeline scared me a little and I didn't want anything bad happening to Five. But right now, I wanted to forget it for just a moment.

'Spending quality family time? I can't say no to that.' I smiled as Allison, Klaus and Vanya cheered.

Diego leaned over to me with an anxious look on his face. 'Shouldn't we check on Bel?'

'Sarah said she'll look after her. Bel will be fine.'

Diego pov;

I sat on the corner as I watched everyone drinking and dancing in the middle of Allison's salon. Klaus brought so many drinks back and honestly, I was in shock. I couldn't believe Klaus was drinking again, didn't even realize how much he used to drank until now.

Y/N was surprising me as well, given the fact that I've never seen this side of her before. After all of us decided to move out of dad's mansion, we went our separate ways.

Even when we kept in touch every now and then with phone calls, it wasn't like we talked about our nightlife and love life. We simply told each other we were doing good and updated on where we were in our lives. Little did I know Y/N was quite the life of the party.

'Come on, Diego! Come dance with us.' Y/N cheesed, inviting me to come join her and the rest of them.

It was cute seeing her drunk and careless, she was constantly stressed and headstrong about everything around her. Never taking a break or relaxed for that matter, in a way I was glad she had this moment to be free for the night.

'I'm sitting this one out.' I smiled as Y/N pouted, tugging on both my hands, trying to get me to get off of this stool.

'Don't be a party pooper.' Luther gestured to come, 'Gotta let loose brother.'

'See, even Luther agrees.' Klaus laughed.

'Fine, fine.' I rolled my eyes and took Y/N's hand as she pulled me into the middle of the floor. The way she was swaying back and forth, I could tell the alcohol was definitely taking control.

Everyone continued to dance, quite sloppy as they were all drunk from Klaus' alcohol. As Y/N try to twirl, she tripped a little, gasping and giggling to herself.

Grabbing onto her, I furrow my eyebrows. 'Looks like someone drank a little too much.'

'Eh, I'll be fine.'

'Let's just sit for a bit.' I helped her sit down on one of the stools, she didn't fight back and maybe Y/N knew she had to rest also.

'Why are you so sweet to me?'

'Because I care about you.' I smiled at her, enjoying the different, drunk side of Y/N.

She stared at me, her eyes said something but I couldn't quite grasp what she really wanted to tell me.

'What are we doing, Diego?' Y/N scratched her head, chuckled to herself. 'Why do you do all these things with me? All these years... why?'

This had probably been the first time Y/N had been honest with her feelings. Even when we were little kids, she would never talk about herself.

I would never talk about myself either, leaving us to hide our feelings for so long. Despite the two of us having casual sex every now and then, I wasn't fully sure of how Y/N felt about me.

'Just trying to pass by time. You know, taking care of Bel and making sure we get back home with our family.' I bit my tongue, realizing I wasn't being honest with her. Beating around the bush was my forte, It was hard speaking the real truth especially to someone like Y/N. I didn't want to scare her off with how I genuinely felt and lose her.

'Ah, for a second I thought I actually meant something to you. Silly me.'

Y/N said so casually, I didn't think she intentionally said those words either. The alcohol in her system made her blurt out the truth, this time I knew she wasn't lying to me.

Growing up, I knew Y/N and I had special connection. Sneaking around every now and then behind Reginald's back, sharing gifts to one another since our loving father didn't do shit for us. She was someone I appreciated and I knew she was grateful for me too. Never would of thought that those feelings were something far more than friendship.

Y/N's pov;

Biting my bottom lip, I immediately regretted saying what I said. I've never in my life confided to anyone, the one time I did it had to be about my feelings. To the person I loved for a long time.

Just for him to tell me that we were doing what we were supposed to do solely for business.

I was embarrassed, trying so hard to keep my tears in. It was hard since the liquor I shoved down my throat was making my emotions bounce all over the place. Hopefully, Diego would think that it was all drunk talk and not my honest feelings about him.

'I'm going to get some fresh air.' I got off my seat, trying to play it off. Or at least I thought I did.

Diego quickly responded back, 'I'll come with you.'

'No, I want to be alone if that's okay?'

He nodded slowly before I walked through the back door into an alley. A part of me wished Diego came after me but that was just some stupid fairytale bullshit that ran through my mind. Besides, it was clear he didn't feel the same way.

'Just the person I want to see.' The voice startled me, not expecting anyone at this dark alley in the middle of the night. 'Hi, Y/N.'

'Uhm, who are you?' The complete stranger that popped out of nowhere made me completely forget about what just happened, maybe in a way it was a great distraction. Unless they were here to kill me.

'Your brother likes to call me crazy bitch, but I personally thought we were BFFs. Shocking.'

I stared at her, the way she looked didn't ring a bells. 'You're going to have to be more specific than that, miss.'

'The little one, Five's friend.' She smiled, I couldn't tell if she was being sarcastic or polite.

'Ah, you're The Handler?'

'Sure.' She smiled again, that same expression on her face that seems sincere yet deceiving. It was hard to tell but hearing stories from Five, maybe I couldn't fully trust her.

'Well, you must be mistaken because I'm not sure why you want to see me. If you're looking for Five, I don't-'

'No, I need to see you Y/N Hargreeves.' The Handler pulled out her cigar, this time with a smirk on her face. 'I have a proposition for you.'