#batman is incompetent

[kay-enemy]

Let us never forget the time an escaped Arkham patient wandered into the Batcave.

and is able to drive off with the batmobile !!!

(Batman #403, 1987)

DC would have us believe Batman is such a good tactician that the entire Justice League would be lost without him, but he can't figure out how to keep random spelunkers from finding his secret hideout? Or even figure out that he should try to keep people out? Or just, not leave his keys in the car???

[everwalldigan]

Bruce being a toxic boy mom when it comes to nightwing will never not be funny as fuck he is literally the biggest nightwing defender one bad word against him and the next day he’ll show up at ur house

Bonus:

[tiger-grace]

Bruce Wayne, being the worlds greatest detective, psychoanalyzing every teammate/hero around him in the JL yet somehow is incapable of doing such to himself

Flash: I feel like I can never open up to the team

Batman: Maybe it’s your problems with emotional intimacy because you maintain a purely comedic relationship with your closest friends and never speak about your serious grievances.

Alfred: sir do you ever think crimefighting directly after the death of Jason may lead you to be more aggressive

Bruce: no why would you say that (slamming fists into low level criminals face)

[lovelylonelymoonlight]

Nothing funnier to me than dick going to therapy for like 3 months before going to Bruce and being like

“I don’t wanna be Batman”

And Bruce kinda just looks at him like “….okaaayy?? I didn’t want you to be Batman”

So dick has to go to therapy for ANOTHER three months so he can ask Bruce about That only for Bruce to be like, “who in their right mind would pick Batman over Nightwing??? When given the choice a world without Nightwing would be a nightmare”

And then dick goes home and cries because his dad is proud of him

[rhiaemrys]

Okay, okay thoughts on an absolute 180 for some of Tim's characterization in fanon.

Tim cannot, for the life of him, work a computer. Oh he can identify a chemical compound based on a series of tests that he memorized when he was 12, but if you asked him to run it through the Batcomputer? He'd fail so miserably and get seventeen viruses in the process. Oh he knows what an email is. And he can send one occasionally but by God do the computers never actually work with him.

Tim is excellent at cracking cold cases. Not through like, linking up crime maps and hacking cameras. No no, he takes his camera out, and hits the streets. His bedroom is a cobweb of red strings, red bull cans, and so many paper case files that Cass has printed out for him. Kon has nearly died entangled in kryptonite laced string that somehow got in there because Timmy ran outta normal string.

He has whiteboards full of equations that he's done with no calculator because he hit the stats button once and then started crying over the abbreviations.

Bruce tried to get Tim and Jason into understanding computers and both of them blanked. Tim said that doing high level quantum physics was better on a chalkboard and Jason got up and left halfway through overwhelmed by the concept of streaming services.

Tim did every single last genome calculation for cloning Kon in double cyphers in a notebook that's hidden Death Note Style under four more layers of hidden cubbyholes.

Let Tim be the cringe fail detective we all know he can be

[webshootersandwingdings]

Still cannot believe this mistake wasn’t caught by anyone 😭 🦁

Batman/Superman: World’s Finest

[bruciemilf]

While I absolutely love the " Battinson has no idea what to do with a kid beside love it with everything in him, and Alfred sighs in Competent Guardian" trope, I offer you:

Alfred watching Bruce make sure Dick has a curfew, getting involved with school activities like bake sales and and art projects, goes to the doctor regularly, has playdates and actual social life, all Responsible Parent Things he most definitely Did Not Do:

[elffhuntr456]

The DC x DP Justice League problem

I've noticed a pattern when it comes to DC x DP crossovers where when the Justice League has to deal with anything involving the Danny phantom world They are out matched and outclassed in every way.

I know most people in the DC x DP fandoms haven't ever picked up a comic, or watched DC media that wasn't animated (or sometimes haven't even watched Danny phantom) in their lives but at some point it gets ridiculous how incompetent the regular JL is made when it comes to combating the supernatural. 

And as an all-things DC enjoyer this hurts me.

Like Superman, multiple times in the past has gone up against ghosts, ghosts like beings, and ghostly Abilities using his powers like for example:

Superman was able to freeze Ghost Soldier, who could turn intangible, using his freeze breath.

He could Freeze Zatanna's astral form

He was able to decimate the Phantom Stranger's physical AND metaphysical form.

He used his freeze breath to freeze the essence/spirit of H'el in time.

When the Fortress Of Solitude's security program projections were turned into ghosts, he could still blast them with his heat vision.

He withstood being stabbed through his heart and soul with magic a sword.

He tanked silver banshees scream (which affects the spirit) head on.

His super vision can also look past someone's body and mind to examine their soul.

When it comes to Wonder Woman her shield, blade, braces, lasso, tiara, and entire body are all blessed with the power of the literal gods there is no way she wouldn't be able to go straight up to a ghost and punch it intangibility or not.

Her lasso can even drag a soul out of someone's body if needed.

Same goes for Captain Marvel and his lightning.

All of Hawkman and Hawkwoman's armor (the little of it they actually wear) and weapons are made out of nth metal, which is a metal in DC that affects supernatural beings like ghost, zombies, vampire, Spirits, specters, shade's, werewolves, "the Lazarus demon" and reanimated corpses, just like any other creature no matter how strong.

Batman and Green Arrow have an entire arsenal made out of the stuff too, just in case.

In injustice both Green Arrow and Green Lantern have whole suits made out of it.

And even if you don't count injustice, (which is understandable) Green lanterns can easily have their rings copy the atomic structure of any thing they need (like kryptonite for example) and since their suits are made from their rings, they would still have no problem making a suit (or really any weapon they need out of the stuff).

Batman has a pair of gloves that John Constantine gave him specifically used to fight ghosts.

And it's been stated that the Batcave has supernatural barriers and wards to stop ghosts and stuff from getting in. (so no just casual walking into the bat cave).

And when it comes to the whole "ghost king summoning" thing I get it it's a fun concept to play around with, but the JL and JL Dark have so many other options other than to summon what they usually believe to be an interdimensional eldritch being into their world.

like the phantom zone projector something that was able to work on Mister Mxyzptlk a full-blown reality warper from the 5th dimension.

Or contacting the other supernatural experts that aren't just Constantine and Zatanna (which are usually the only contact for supernatural problems the JL has in most fic's for some reason).

Or batman just contacting the strongest supernatural being he knows, who without a doubt would come stop a major supernatural threat (as its usually depicted)

SPAWN. (The guys so op in supernatural power it's crazy)

There are so many other options than summoning the ghost king.

And in a lot of fic's the supernatural members (or just any member that would could help in a given situation) are off world (for some reason?) so they can't be contacted.

That just doesn't make much sense when the JL has the technology of so many advanced civilizations and individual people (witch some are said to be among the smartest in the universe) at their disposal, they should be able to contact their people halfway across the universe.

All of this is to say that due to widespread ignorance of the world of Detective Comics and the capabilities of its hero's (and sometimes Danny Phantom) that most DC x DP situations, stories, and scenarios end up with the Justice League a collection of the earths greatest hero's, being completely and utterly helpless and incompetent against any problems coming from the world of Danny Phantom (or just the supernatural in general).

This is to no one's fault of course, believe me no one knows all of DC lore and all it's details in its entirety.

But being someone that knows a lot about DC and seeing how useless a lot of DC characters are portrayed in most situations when you know they really wouldn't be having that much of an issue handling it, creates a weird disconnect between the two fandoms where it always seems more like the Danny Phantom fandom with DC characters stapled to it.

[fantastic-nonsense]

WB is on its 1285834th Batman/Scooby-Doo crossover and Disney can't even give me one Kim Possible/Kate Bishop Hawkeye crossover, why do they hate me so much

[spiritsglade]

trying to reconcile the timelines between utrh, lost days, and annual 25 is apparently an exercise in utter futility.

(all of these ages listed going forward are what he would be if he was alive the whole time/how much time has elapsed since his birth.)

jason died on april 27 with a birthday in august so he would have been ~15 & 8 months at the time. i don't have a source for this but apparently he was 18/19 during the events of utrh.

(apparently bruce celebrates his 18th birthday in detective comics #790, after hush, which places him at 17 during hush and fucks everything up but i'm just gonna. not think about that.)

according to the annual he would have already been 19 by the time he was pushed in the pit the first time (6 months dead, 1 year in a convalescent home, 1 year on the street, 1 year catatonic under talia's care). that leaves literally zero time for lost days to happen. if you presume the 'one year later' timeskips are rounding up there still isn't a lot of wiggle room.

lost days operates on a much looser and unspecified timeline of "months later... and later... and later still" before talia first hears abut catatonic jason. however, we are still told that "years" have passed between talia finding out that jason died and talia pushing him in the pit.

assuming multiple years just means two, at minimum jason's already 17-almost-18. which leaves him around 2 years to put a bomb under the batmobile, train, murder his teachers, etc. before his debut in hush if we're assuming he's 19 during all that. and even then he'd already be pushing 20.

the movie's much nicer about this because he gets revived literally right after dying and then has 5 whole years to scrounge together his grand plan. it doesn't seem like he has talia's support there but it makes sense that with robin training he could have figured out training and resources on his own. maybe.

in conclusion. timelines are fucked and who knows what's going on.

+ this is a tangential thought but it's a little crazy to me that the police figured out he was buried alive and didn't think to check the graveyard 12 miles away. like ok 10 mile radius but when there's an actual cemetery a couple miles outside that maybe??? you check it out??

[phanboyo]

Captain Marvel had been left on monitor duty on Saturday night. Again. He couldn't really complain, since he'd started to try going back to school his availability for JL duties had been limited a little bit on weekdays. Not that he wouldn't cut school to help out if he were called, but the JL generally tried to be pretty accommodating when it came to civilian identity stuff, even if they didn't know his. And it's not like he usually had any weekend plans as Billy, anyway. Besides, the Watchtower had better food than the stuff he could usually scrounge up himself on the weekends.

Admittedly he hadn't been paying much attention to the monitors. Most of the JL were on Earth in their respective cities doing whatever it was they usually did on Saturday nights, and though it may be irresponsible, Marvel figured they could handle things as usual.

This is how Marvel justified taking a short break to grab a snack from the cafeteria, empty save for Hal, who had microwaved a burrito and left. This is also how Marvel let his short break turn into a long break while he read through a couple of the comic books Freddy had leant him. This long break is why Marvel had completely missed the entire earth being engulfed in supernatural plants.

Staring out the large window in the monitor room at the big green ball that had been his planet, Captain Marvel dropped the blueberry muffin he had brought from the cafeteria.

"Oops."

Marvel flew to the monitors and flitted from screen to screen, trying to figure out what had happened. There were a few short calls that had come through from Wonder Woman, Martian Manhunter, Superman, and a few others inquiring what was happening. Marvel hadn't answered because he had been in the cafeteria. "Crap, crap, crap," he muttered, "I am so going to get in trouble for this."

The timestamps showed that the calls began to peter out until stopping entirely, the last one from the Flash, a little over 40 minutes ago.

"-ny input from the Tower would be helpful, no one's answering my calls. I don't know how long I can outrun these vines, they're everywhere and they're taking pe—whoa!" There was a crackle of wind, Captain Marvel thought he heard an echoing voice saying something about "feeding the children," straight out of a horror movie. "Man, she's creepy," said Flash under his breath, "the vines are—ah!—Taking people's minds or some—" there was another crackle and the recording lapsed into silence before cutting off entirely.

Captain Marvel hit the call button to the Flash. With each ring his heart climbed higher in his throat, no answer. He called the Batman, no answer, Wonder Woman, Superman, Cyborg, Aquaman, no answer. The planet had stopped emitting signals of any kind, and it seemed that no one was receiving them either.

"Holy heck," Captain Marvel muttered, staring at the hologram of Earth, a big green ball that had gone completely dark.

"Lantern!" Marvel shouted, flying out of the monitor room. "Lantern, there's an emergency!"

The Green Lantern popped his head out of his quarters, his expression turning serious as he saw the panic on Marvel's face as he shot down the hallway. "Cap, what's happened?"

"Mind controlling plants or something?" He said quickly. "No one's answering their comms, I didn't mean to—I didn't think anything would—I just wanted a muffin!"

"What?" Lantern asked, "a muffin?"

"Okay maybe I read some comics too, but it's not even a full moon—weird stuff usually happens on fulls moons and solstices—and with the Tower so empty I didn't think anything bad would—"

"Cap!" Lantern interrupted, "slow down, what happened?"

Marvel took a deep breath. "The Earth has been overtaken by mind-controlling plants?"

Lantern blinked and the two of them sped to the monitor room, a green planet sitting innocently below the Watchtower with the darkness of space as its backdrop. "Well... that's new," he said, his hand coming to scratch at the back of his head. He turned to look at Cap. "Do you know what it is? Or who?"

Marvel shook his head. "It happened too fast, no one knew what was going on. His face suddenly brightened. "Maybe there's something at the Rock of Eternity," he said. With a muttered word an a wide gesture, a portal opened, showing a stone room with glowing arches.

Marvel stepped towards it, but the Green Lantern grabbed his arm. "Wait," he said, "are those vines usually there?"

Marvel looked into the portal and saw fat green vines crawling out of one of the archways. "No," he said, eyebrows furrowing. The vines began to creep towards the portal, spines on the tips glowing green as if in anticipation. "How did they...?" The vines picked up speed and shot towards the portal.

"Close it! Close it!" Lantern shouted, leaping back, hand out, ring glowing green.

With a snap, the portal shut, cutting off the tips of the vines. In a second, they were enveloped in a translucent green sphere, containing them as they grew to fill the small space.

"I don't understand," Captain Marvel said, "the Rock exists in its own realm, it's supposed to be separate from Earth."

"Can't really help you with the magic stuff," Lantern said, examining the ball of vines in its green cage. "Who else is on the Tower tonight?"

"Uh," Captain Marvel shook himself and went to the screens to check. "Plastic Man and the Atom?"

"That's it?" Lantern asked.

Cap shrugged. "It's a Saturday night."

He hummed in acknowledgement. "Well, I guess we'd better let them kn—"

There was a light crackling noise and the vines in the green sphere shriveled. Lantern and Marvel both stared at it.

"Did you do that?" Cap asked.

"Don't think so," he answered. They stared at the black shriveled vines a little longer. Cautiously, Green Lantern opened the top sphere. When the vines didn't move, he dissolved it entirely, and the vines fell to the floor with a wet smack. The two stared at them a little longer.

"So... are they dead?" Captain Marvel asked.

"I think so?" Green Lantern replied.

Captain Marvel looked up out the window at the planet again to find it more or less back to normal. "Oh, I—huh." Another glance at the monitors showed that the planet was transmitting radio again, and signals received were back to normal range. "Crisis averted?"

The Green Lantern looked from the planet to Captain Marvel. "Guess so. Good job." His ring glowed and the blueberry muffin floated up from the floor. "You gonna eat that?"

[incorrect-green-lantern-quotes]

every time a batstan makes a post that uses a green lantern as a punching bag for the gotham gang, DC tells their writers to make a new human GL

[violent138]

Bruce is one hundred percent that boss that goes, "I don't care what issues you have with him, be an adult and do your damn job", but he also pettily kicks people off his schedule and missions whenever it suits him and if they annoy him even a little.

[adelinamoteru]

at some point some of yall will have to admit to yourselves that the jason todd you like and have built up in fanon is not the jason todd that he actually is

inconsistent canon writing included, I have no idea where these povs on him are coming from if ur not actually meaning to do a disservice to his character

[orangejuice-ttg]

Teen Titans Go! Robins

The only thing I know about DC is this stupid show so yes I’m doing great

[humandisastersquad]

I used to really dislike doctors as a disabled/chronically ill person, but then I started working in healthcare,,, and now I hate them even more