#basically 2 years down the drain and for what??

[inbabylontheywept]

the house i grew up in was a little bit of a fixer upper. for the first 19 years, my dad just sort of slowly fixed it, but pretty early on in college, he came into a large amount of cash and decided to just do the whole thing at once. so he rented a different house for like, 2 months that was just a block down from us, and then got a bunch of contractors to fix original house ASAP. it was kind of crazy, but it compressed many years of work into like, three months.

the sitting in a new house for three months was actually pretty fun. and i shouldnt really complain at all (staying at home while in college is a sweet deal)

but.

but. my parents are fairly hard of hearing, and their bedroom in the old house was in the furthest possible annex from everyone else. wheras in the rental it was just in the middle of the house. so without going into details, i was extremely aware that my parents were having sex like, eight times a day. my dad had just retired and i guess they were celebrating, which is great i guess, having parents that really like each other is way better than the alternative, but also, it did make me envy their deafness. i kept headphones on for so long that year i got literal ear calluses.

at the same time, the house my buddy from the shoe incident grew up in flooded. turbo flooded. they burst like, two pipes at once and the damage was so severe they had to redo all the flooring and all the drywall. his family actually had homeowners insurance, which is either incredible or suspicious for a family that used the drained pool in their backyard to store rusty scrap metal. so insurance was handling the work, but in the meantime, they were crammed into a very small hotel room space. we did the math on it then, it averaged about 80 square feet a person.

so one day i got home, and i was chilling, and then six rolled around, and apparently six o'clock was sex o'clock because my parents decided to flex their cardio. i grabbed my headphones and prayed that god would do for me what he did for beethoven, but that failed to work, and then seven rolled around and my parents were still at it, which again, very impressive, but was pushing me to swap out judas for mozart in those prayers. there's a definitive point where you stop praying to be deaf and instead pray that god could take you to a nice field and pop you like a gore-balloon.

i was about five minutes away from that point when my friend called me and basically said i have been stuck in a 500 square foot space with 6 people and i didn't have many marbles to start but what few i had are gone. please. if we are friends, if we were ever friends, take me out of here just for a moment.

and i was still pretty mad at him, but i had pity on the poor guy. also helped that i was desperate to leave the house. so i drove the chickenshitmobile to the hotel and i picked him up, and then we did our normal hangout activity, which was go to food city and buy produce. his normal house was, on a good day, nasty, and his backyard was, as i stated before, mostly used to store mosquito larvae and rusty metal, so what we'd always done before was just walk to the grocery store a half block away and leer at vegetables.

so we did that and it was like old times again. they had some radishes that were expired, so i could buy like, literally an entire grocery bag of them for about $5. so i did. i really like radishes. he got a coconut because he liked fruit and beating things with hammers.

which probably would've been great except we didn't have a hammer, so instead we spent about 30 minutes stomping itike it owed us money. when it finally cracked we cheered like we just got the winning touchball at the superdome and then he ate some of the flesh, and i ate some of the radishes, and we admired the black, starless sky of the city before i took him back to his hotel room.

and then we got pulled over.

i forgot to turn my lights on because the street all around the food city was ludicrously well lit. so it went from being pretty bright, to pretty bright and flashy, then i pulled into a parking lot and a cop came to ask us for IDs which is where everything went to shit:

i’d forgotten my license at home. 

the cop was was actually kind of chill about it - he said he could get by with just an address. except i did not know my address. i hadn't memorized the new one yet. so i told the cop, my house is getting remodeled, i don't know my address right now. and then he went to my friend, and my friend said the exact same thing. house getting remodeled, staying somewhere else, no address, sowwwwwwy.

now the cop genuinely didn't know what to do. he went back to his car, and i was stressed that i was about to get into HUGE trouble so i started eating the radishes and my buddy started eating more of his coconut, and we actually managed to eat like a quarter of both before the cop came back. we ate enough produce that he could smell something weird in the air, and he asked what the smell was, and i said radishes, and my buddy said coconut, and the cop said which, and then we produced a large bag of droopy radishes and an absolutely brutalized coconut, and the cop was just like

so my buddy tried explaining how he was sharing a 500 square foot apartment with 6 people and wanted a fruit he could fight with power tools, and i tried explaining how i'd actually tried buying my parents like, board games and puzzles and stuff but nothing worked - the only thing my parents seemed to like doing right now was each other, and we both went on long enough and pathetically enough that the cop eventually went:

ok. stop.

and we stopped.

and he said do you know why i pulled you over?

and i said, because of my headlights, and my friend (who is hispanic) and the cop both looked at me like like i was the dumbest person in the entire world. and then the cop said no. that's why i'm allowed to pull you over. i checked your car because this neighborhood has a terrible sex trafficking problem, and i pull over every car i can to make sure no one is buying or selling sex. and you two are obviously doing neither. now i could give you, like, four tickets right now, but that would do nothing to make this area safer, so just turn your lights on, go home, drive safe, and try to be less stupid in the future.

and i said okay but i was thinking, you know, damn, this is just how i live man, i don't have a hidden third gear i can shift into. people can't just get smarter because it would be convenient. it's always convenient to be smart. i am literally trying my best.

but i didn't say anything because i was, slowly, learning how to filter what i said. instead i nodded and the cop left then i dropped my buddy off, and the last thing he said was said he owed me for responding to his SOS. I said he owed me for a lot of things, and he agreed that was true. then i drove home with my lights on, 5 under the speed limit, and arrived to a peaceful quiet home. I could’ve wept with relief but instead I went to bed.

the relief was short lived. i was woken up at 6 am by my parents. i swore, and then i prayed, and when i did not explode, i swore again. then i got up to make breakfast before my first class.

[moonlit-void-to-the-far-unknown]

“I hate how they regressed Daniel after Armand turned him. Hes just so immature now”

My dudes,

If suddenly I wasn’t living with a sickness that slowly deteriorates my motor functions until I die, and I was able to feel like I did when I was a drugged up 20 year old with no worries of chronic illness hitting me again, you bet your sweet ass I would have zero fucks, I would be telling everyone to suck my dick and wear cool jackets and sunglasses.

Oh no one can touch me because my maker is a 514 year old ancient vampire who has never made any other fledglings?

I can see better than I ever have? Move like the wind? Have no pain? Have no fear of dying? Suddenly my hands don’t shake and my body isn’t in pain?

Oh everyone can suck my dick. Everyone can fuck off. I’m gonna wear my fuck you leather jacket like I did at 20 when I was a counter culture upstart journalist, I’m gonna be a cocky shit head again because guess what? I don’t have pain in my back and body, I don’t shake, I have no issues with my motor skills suddenly failing me.

I’m basically 20 years old again. I’m gonna be such a menace for at least a few years.

Ya’ll act like Louis would have been any better if Lestat wasn’t there to help rein him in.

Or Lestat? Bro broke the vampire laws the second he was turned.

Armand I’m gonna assume was no better then his fledgling is.

Let’s not forget Claudia as a fledgling? Baby girl her first hunt took down like 2 whole police officers.

Let my old man have his wild fledgling years! Let him stalk random men to drain, let him experience being young again. This is like being 18 in college. His first few years of vampire life should be wildly immature and stupid.

Because finally, his body isnt hurting. His brain isn’t deteriorating his motor functions. He can actually do things he used to.

LET MY BABY GIRL BE A MESSY BITCH OF A FLEDGLING. Why?

BECAUSE HE FUCKING DESERVES IT.

Look at this man. Pure cunty ass sass coming off him in waves. As he should be allowed, being in his fledgling prime years.

[youbitchuh]

Ridin Hamzah’s In Hawaii

fluff fluff and fluff :)

There is swear words tho!

(obviously theres gonna be smut in future stories i mean the title)

Hamzah x Reader (no mentions of y/n)

9:34am

The sound of Mandy constantly turning and sighing next to me was getting exaggerating, I know that this is just her way of asking me to get up without actually asking. I turn and face her and stay silent, she gives me a grin

“Hamzah was talking about you to Martin last night…i heard him” she says as her voice gets higher pitched with her last couple of words.

“Was he now…cool” I pretend to be cool by shrugging it off, “no big deal” I say as I sit up next to her. Pretending to not be absolutely in love with your best-friends boyfriend’s best-friend is so so hard and so draining..especially when you spend basically every minute together.

——————————————————————10:46am

I pop my lips and fix up my hair before exiting the bathroom. “how is my outfit?” I ask Mandy as she spins around on her heels to face me. I watch as her face lights up.

“Girl you look so cute” She exclaims as she walks closer to me, “and what about mwah” she says placing her hands on her chest to show off her outfit.

“You’re so gorgeous Mandy” I say with a pout.

*knock knock*

“Ill get it” Mandy says as she walks past me darting for our hotel door, “Oh hi Hamzah” She says almost upset that it wasn’t her boyfriend. My eyes dart up at the name “Are you two almost ready?” He says in a low tone, Mandy looks back at me sitting on the bed and nods. I grab the rest of my shit and start making my way to the door. I take in Hamzahs features, his curls, his smile, his nose. I smile at him awkwardly and stand with him. I clear my throat as I try to ignore the fact that I can feel his eyes burning into the side of my face.

———————————————————————1:57pm

I take a sip of my cocktail as I look over the bars balcony view of the beach, Mandy and Martin fucked off to God knows where and who the hell knows where Hamzah is. My trance is suddenly disrupted as a figure sits next to me. Its Hamzah.

“Hey” he says in a cheery tone watching me immediately straighten my posture.

“Oh hi..” I say trying to act unbothered, in reality im really nervous i mean ive known this guy for over a year and we have barley exchanged words with eachother but i still feel like i know everything about him. I face him and give him a soft smile.

“Where were you?” I ask curious of his were-abouts.

“Why did you miss me?” Hamzah jokes with a slight teasing tone, “Nah im kidding i was just walking along the beach it is very beautiful” he says as he grabs his hat and places it on his head. Who does that? He looks so beautiful like that.

“Ohh nice nice, I mean I haven’t really left the bar because I’ve just been alone” I look at him as he lets out a stiff laugh at my comment.

“I might go down to the beach again though.. you should come with me” Hamzah suggests as he puts his pointer finger on my shoulder acting like he just changed the way the world moved.

————————————————————————

2:30pm

“Oh my God” I say loudly with a loud laugh as I trip on the sand for the fifth time. I fix myself up and continue to laugh as Hamzah cant seem to stop. I hit his shoulder “Its not that funny…stop” I say in between laughs. We take a deep breath and continue walking in silence just taking in the view, over time we got closer together his arm brushing against mine and our shoulders kept bumping into eachother. I feel him look down at me as he grabs my hand and puts it in his. A flush of red rises on my cheeks as I look up at him and give me a smile. “You know I was talking about you to Martin last night?” He says almost like a suggestion, he purses his lips as he waits for my response.

There was now a sudden thick tension in the air. I don’t know what it was but there was something there. I mean there always is for me anyway but now I feel like that barrier of not being able to be on him is gone.

“Yeah I do know actually” I laugh, hes pulling me away to go sit at some chairs that overlook the beach. “Mandy told me this morning” I say as we sit down. My heart is racing I mean this is the first time I have ever been alone with him.

“I told him how I think you are beautiful” I look at him and smile at his words. He gives me a smile as I watch him take in my features. “I also told him how I think you’re really cool… and funny… I was gonna say smart but that would’ve been a lie no offence” I look at him and place my hand on my chest and scoff.

“Wow im offended” I say as I roll my eyes but laugh at his comment. I look back up at him “I think you are beautiful too”.

————————————————————————

10:06pm

We are all sitting on the beach having a bonfire, Mandy and Martin keep telling some story on what happened while they went off for the day, I didn’t care I was so focused on how beautiful Hamzah looked with the fire glowing onto his face.. he looks so different in this light and im not complaining.

“Hes so beautiful” Mandy snaps her head towards me “Who is?? huh??” I look back at her “What do you mean?” She leans closer to me “you didnt say that in your head..” I widen my eyes and look at Hamzah whos running his hands through his curls, his face is flushed almost like he was happy I said it.

Me and Hamzah didn’t speak to eachother since we went for a walk together, it would’ve been awkward if we did. My feelings towards him are becoming so much more noticeable and I hate it.

————————————————————————

12:26am

Ive been sitting in the hotel room for over an hour now, I excused myself because me calling Hamzah beautiful out loud made me feel sick,but why? I said it to his face, was it the fact that I’ve now let myself feel vulnerable because I said it infront of my friends?

*knock knock knock*

Im suddenly disrupted out of my thoughts

“Hold on im coming” I say as I straighten my outfit and walk towards to door. Its Hamzah, I clear my throat as I look up at him.

“Uh hey..can we talk?” He motions towards me and lets himself inside. I shut the door behind him and follow him over to the bed.

“Look I don’t know why I said that out loud, I feel so stupid and I looked vulnerable I never meant to say it, I felt like I embarrassed you more than I did myself and I just wanted to say Im sor-”.

My word were cut off by Hamzahs soft lips attaching themselves onto mine.

“Dont”

“Worry”

“About”

“It”

He says inbetween kisses, his hand makes his way to my face, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear not breaking the kiss. This was so passionate every single second of it felt like heaven, my hands started wondering over his body landing on his chest, hot and flushed. The feeling of his chest rising and falling between every kiss was magical. My face becoming more flushed as our tongues danced together. I start pushing on his chest as a sign to stop. I look at him taking in deep breaths. No words exchanged. Just living in the moment.

————————————————————————

2:45am

Deep breaths and slight snores fill the room. My hand lays on Hamzahs chest as he sleeps away, my eyes suddenly dart over towards the door as Mandy makes her way through it…loudly and clearly drunk. She spots me and Hamzah cuddling on the only bed in the room.

“Awww so cute” she slurs as she points to the two of us. I put my finger up to my lips at an attempt to silence her as she walks closer to the side im lying on. “Im just gonna go sleep in Martins room..” She whispers in my ear. I nod her off and watch as she walks away, “Use protection Mandy!” I whisper shout as she gets closer to the door, she turns around “you too!” I chuckle to myself.

Well this is gonna be awkward when he wakes up..

————————————————————————

Tags:

[kenzieluvsnanami]

kenzieluvssuguru :: ☆*:.｡.o the roommate (18+) o.｡.:*☆

You were sure you hated him. From the crown of his silky, jet black hair to the bottom of his bunny-slipper clad feet. Everything he did pissed you off. Whether it’s finishing your very expensive shampoo or sneaking bites of your carefully hidden sweet treats, one thing was for certain: Geto Suguru knew how to get and STAY on your last nerve. (f!reader x suguru)

cw *:･ﾟ✧ roommate/no curses/college au, reader is overworked and underpaid 😭, auditory voyeurism? (by reader).. readers basically a cuck (unknown to suguru, sooo dubcon kinda), cheeky suguru/slight humour (cant help myself), dirty talk, OF references, description of the devils tango (but not w reader) and mastúrbation *:･ﾟ✧♡ 3.2k words // part 1 , part 2

He had become your roommate at the beginning of second year. Having an egregiously rich grandmother who liked her grandkids to earn their keep had its perks at times, one of those being the inheritance of a beautifully furnished townhouse that was only a half hour commute from your university.

However, the downside was the substantial cost of maintaining the house. Bills pilled up fast and whilst your grandmother was lounging in Turks and Caicos, you were working multiple jobs: the campus coffee shop on off-days, a drum and bass club on the weekend and tutoring whenever time allowed.

It was

Wearing.

You.

Down.

By the end of the second semester you had enough. Physically and emotionally drained, you sat down and pondered over all the possible avenues of making money - ASAP since energy companies were not necessarily known for their patience and generosity. Whilst starting an OF was firmly out of the equation, it did give you an idea. Instead of selling yourself, you could sell your home! Ok, not the whole house - but there was a spare room adjoined to yours, fully furnished with its own small terrace. A charming, spacious place where many students living on campus dorms would love to be. However, who did you know that was willing to move out this late in second year? Most had already settled into their new homes and were already accustomed to the people they lived with. You tried asking around but unfortunately it was all rejection.

Dejected, you slinked into your critical analysis class that evening, eye bags so heavy they were almost pulling your eyes shut. The tiredness must have put you you some sort of delirious state because when you sat in your usual seat as you pondered over your situation... aloud?!

"you want someone move in with you?" echoed the mild-mannered man beside you.

Confused and slightly taken aback, he asked you to repeat yourself, to make sure he heard you clearly. Rather frustrated, you grumbled out the question not even meaning to ask him about your situation and to your surprise - he actually said yes. Eyes widening and back moderately straighter, you exchanged contact information and asked him to meet tomorrow so you can discuss more.

You had left the lecture shaken out of your fatigued stupor and felt a tinge of regret already. You barely know this man. All you knew was that his name was Geto Suguru, he’s in your class and will be your new roommate in the next couple of weeks. From what you had gathered from your brief interactions, he seemed like a normal person… at least you hoped so.

You knew he was well mannered. Remembering from the time you tripped over his foot, limbs flailing awkwardly - and how he’d lunged out, firmly grasping you by the waist to stop you from falling flat onto your face. As soon as you had steadied, he apologised profusely with slightly flushed cheeks and averted eyes.

He seemed well kept, his full, shoulder-length hair was never greasy or out of place. Either in a half-up bun or flowing freely, it was definitely a cause for envy. He dressed neatly, loose jeans or joggers with a plain tee or sweatshirt seemed to be his staples. Fingernails were slender - elegant, your sideways glances during lectures providing a view of his graceful, willowy hands. Long and dainty fingers gently tapping on the laptop in front of him.

All known factors considered, when it comes to roommates you seemed to have won the lottery. A quiet and respectful man seemed like a few in a dozen in this generation. How lucky were you!

The first few weeks were like a sort of honeymoon period. Sharing a space with someone you didn’t know was as awkward as you would think it would be. Small smiles when you ran into each other in the hallway and if you were feeling bold, some small talk over breakfast before your shared class.

The ice was breaking between the two of you as you slowly adapted around each others routines. Everything seemed to be going perfectly. You were getting more sleep due to the fact that you didn’t have to work as hard to pay your bills (thanks to your dual income) and actually felt like a human being for once.

Feeling human meant that a lot of additional needs had been forgone and most importantly your dormant libido had jumped back alive. That itself was nothing to write home about but it was more so how you came to this realisation which was.

It was 3 months prior, when you had left your room for a late night snack. Wrapped in your hello kitty throw, you softly pattered down the hall into the kitchen. Treats successfully acquired, you walked back into the hall and was greeted with a mass of steam flowing out from the bathroom, a tall figure emerging.

It was your room mate (duh) but in a way you had never had seen him before. His raven hair was deliciously tousled - the messiest you had ever seen it and...

it. was. beautiful.

The towel wrapped around his slight waist exposed his athletic build, deceptively slim but a slight flex allowed you to see the unbridled power hidden within. His ab definition was exemplified by the drops of water falling from the light smattering of hair trailing down to his deep cut V line.

He was absolutely stunning.

You were frozen for more than a few seconds, marvelling at the discovery of this new side to your roommate. He was… heavenly. You didn’t even realise Suguru had fully left the bathroom until you felt a warm gust of air as he swished past you, a drop of water splashing onto your face as he teasingly poked you. You sped back into the safety of your room and slammed the door. He had you salivating like a damn dog by just a flash of his upper body?? Yes, he may have looked good (a bit more than good actually) but it wasn’t anything you hadn’t seen before.

Since that night, the dynamics of your relationship had imperceptibly changed. You couldn’t really describe how in a concise manner but Suguru had definitely changed. He was much more bold - seemingly doing everything in his power to make you flustered.

It first started with him wearing less and less clothes in the common areas of the house. You weren't completely unreasonable, leaving his room in just his red plaid PJ bottoms and those god forsaken bright pink bunny slippers could be excused. After all, this was his new home and you did want him to be comfortable. You just had to be mindful of not staring too long into his plump, juicy pectorals that were practically two small pillows that you could just face plant into. Not to mention the absolute dumptruck he was carrying from behind. During your dinners together (you always ended up cooking way more for yourself than needed), you really had to fight to keep your eyes fixed onto his face as he spoke and even then you’d find yourself being drawn further and further into his deep, purple eyes. Even his voice, calm, even and low was akin to a sirens call, causing you to be further and further enraptured with him.

Why couldn’t you just be normal about your roommate. You know plenty of people who houseshare with the opposite sex and it doesn’t seem to be as hard for them as it is for you. Maybe you just need a quick fuck? Something to get it out of your system so you can stop feeling like so…. lustful during the most regular exchanges.

It was hard to stop thinking thoughts like that when you would come home from a study group or be leaving early for a shift at the cafe to find Suguru slumped over the couch casually watching a telenovela or a 2000s sitcom. This normally would not be any kind of issue if for the fact he wasn’t practically naked par a grey set of loose Calvin Klein boxers.

The first time this happened you were almost late for work, your body physically refusing to move at the sight of his thick thighs, corded muscles tensing as he swung his legs down from resting on the cushion next to him and patted the space beside him - gesturing for you to sit. The soft smile on his face, eyes shut, eyebrows relaxed and seemingly in a state of inexplicable bliss for someone with 12 assignments due that week was all a bit too much for you to handle as you snapped out of your daze and rushed out of the door.

Suguru’s next ‘misstep’ was his use of almost all of your things and general disregard for personal space. He seemed to find joy in watching you put two and two together and realise that the reason why the whole house smells like Shea vanilla is because he “accidentally” used your body wash whilst bathing and so “just had to” grab the matching lotion, body oil and spray from your room - so he didn’t “smell confused”.

To think that this was the same man who was so quiet when he first moved in honestly is beyond human comprehension, his eyes crinkling shut as he laughed with genuine glee about how in the process of looking for the spray he tripped over your charging hitachi wand.

“Is my roommate feeling a bit pent up?” he drawled as he fake pouted, the tips of your ears burning at the fact that the object of your current infatuation knew about what you did in your… free time. “I was wondering what all that buzzing was last night.”

Suguru was comfortable at your shared house. Too comfortable. Which leads us to what happened today, what you considered to be the most egregious misstep by your roommate and would have made you so pissed if it hadn’t made you so wet.

It’s a Friday - nothing too crazy about that fact, it was just the week coming to an end. As your professor informs you of the upcoming assignments for the following week, Suguru leans down to tell you that he might be home a bit later than usual as he wanted to go to a friends houseparty. This isn’t anything too out of the ordinary, you knew that he was quite well known amongst the second years and as a result he was always flitting in and out the house midweek. You didn't really understand why he was specifically informing you of his whereabouts this time but you thanked him and made your way straight to coffee shop to start your shift.

Today was by far the hardest shift you’ve ever had, the sheer volume of people you had to serve and the few staff that were booked in to work. You were absolutely exhausted. You definitely were up for an orgasm or two to destress and your.. personal massager would be fully charged by the time you got home.

Clocked out at 7 and you were currently speed walking back to the house. A warm bath, filling meal and rewatching one of the telenovela’s Suguru had introduced to you sounded like an excellent plan. Just the action of running the bath, pouring the salts and soap and stripping off your stiff uniform silenced all the noise in your mind - you could truly feel the tension rolling off your body as you eased into the bathtub.

After an hour long soak, you made a wholesome pasta dish and binge watched TV until you started to feel your eyelids drooping shut as the day begun to catch up with you. You dragged yourself to your room, the silk sheets and quilted comforter lulling your weary body to a sweet, sweet slumber.

That was until… 1.27am according to your bedside clock. The loud bang of the front door shook you awake but it’s what you heard next that kept you up.

A bang on the hallway wall and what sounded like... kissing? Sloppy and heated, you could hear the mewls and whines of a woman coupled by occasional groans from what had to be… your roommate?

Footsteps got louder and louder until you could hear them through the shared wall between your rooms. The bed creaked as it hit the bedroom wall and you could hear the low murmur of your roommate’s voice. Almost instinctually, you carefully raised yourself up from the bed and pressed your ear to the wall to hear better.

“You’re going to take allllll of it, okay?” Suguru said lowly, the woman giggling as he retorted “Don’t get shy with me now. We both know you were begging for it.”

You knew what you were doing was fucked up. How could you keep eavesdropping on your roommate fucking another girl but somehow you were unable to tell your body, warmth pooling in your core.

The soft thud of clothes hitting the ground was accompanied by the rejoining of the pair, the loud kissing and sounds of scattered bedsheets made you ponder. This was the first time you had ever heard Suguru do anything remotely sexual. He made jokes (mainly to your demerit) about the apparent lack of sex and I mean, you appreciated that he respected the space that the two of you shared by not always having people over or at least doing it when you weren’t home but part of you just innately knew that he wasn’t seeing anyone - serious or casual. That’s why this is so unexpected.. but not unwanted.

See, it had interrupted your much needed sleep but you couldn’t deny how horny this was making you. The fact that you could hear what it would be like to fuck your roommate and the added taboo of him not knowing you could hear - you were almost soaked in your own essence, a hand snaking down to your pyjama bottoms so that you could alleviate some of your pent-up tension.

“Open your mouth” Suguru demanded. A slight pause in movements as you heard what must have been a fat, wad of his saliva splash into the woman’s mouth. “Good girl” he cooed, the woman moaning back in pure, unadulterated need.

You stifled your own whine, the delicious pressure of your fingertips on your swollen nub combined with your roommates filthy, sinful words had you so close. The woman gasped at what you can only imagine being Suguru finally pulling down those grey boxers. Another splash and a steady, slick rhythm began - probably Suguru stroking himself, long slender fingers wrapping tight around his base dragging his hand right up to the tip, thumb swirling to collect any pre-cum to lubricate his shaft even more.

“Please..” the woman pleaded. “Please what?” Suguru chided “If you are going to beg at least beg properly”. “Please..please put it in” she mumbled. “You’re still not asking properly but” A loud squelch and the woman’s even louder moan interrupted Suguru’s almost lazy drawl. He seemed so relaxed, responding back as if he himself didn’t want this as bad as she did. “I’m in a good mood so I’ll do as you wish” he punctuated his sentence with a sharp thrust, the already worn bed frame jolting into the wall as he fully buried himself into this woman.

Her mewls seemed to get even higher and higher in pitch as the two established a steady rhythm. Hand firmly placed along your slit, you toyed with oozing entrance and sensitive clit - middle and ring finger prodding into your hole, scissoring and feeling your inner walls. You gathered some more of your essence and spread it onto your thumb, applying more and more pressure as you swirled your bud. It was like you were in a freaked out flow state, your mind purely focused on achieving that high. You tuned out the shrieks of the other woman and honed in on your roommates low grunts, imaging how tense his abs would be from the sheer effort he would be putting, arms caged around you in missionary as he just plowed straight into you until you both came.

The bed creaks became more and more frequent, your hand moving faster and faster as you heard the woman cry out one last time and start sobbing. It seemed your roommate had slowed down slightly, close himself as the thrusts became more slow and tempered not hitting the wall as loudly. You were so so close, focusing on deep breathing to slow it down so that you could come undone at the same time as him.

As he got close himself, you could hear some sort of low rumble… was he.. whining? You could also hear his murmured praises to his partner “You did so good… thank you so much… your so pretty…ngh.. all…urghh….fucked out…mffh.. like this”. He seemed to be speaking through gritted teeth, so close to the edge. Even though you knew he wasn’t talking to you, all the words just melted into your brain adding to your dazed, enraptured state. You couldn’t hold out any longer, fingers moving into overdrive as you reached your peak and fell head first into the mind-numbing pleasure of release as you heard Suguru’s muffled cry as he came.

As the static from your ears started to clear and you were finally able to come back to earth from that earth-shattering orgasm, you could hear a slightly more heated conversation happening in the adjoined room.

“What the fuck was that” the woman whisper shouted while pulling on her clothes. “What the fuck do I know??” puffed your roommate as he seemed to pace around the room. “You just groaned another girls name as you came Suguru. That’s fucked up.. Seriously?” You could practically hear the sheepish look on his face as the door banged for a second that night.

How can he moan another girls name whilst he’s balls deep inside of her? I mean thinking back you may have heard him say your name but that was just because you were in a freaked out flow state, right?… right?

And that’s why at 3.09am you had come to the solid conclusion that you hated Geto Suguru. He was obnoxious, used your stuff AND had the cheek to mock you for what’s in your room but most importantly he fucked a girl and said your name whilst he came. Not only did he hurt this poor girl but he left you even more confused. Where do you even go from here? Did he know you heard the whole thing? Even if he did what does this change? Your hot roommate maybe does want to pipe you? This should be a good thing but for some reason you know it’s going to be more complicated than that...

part 2

a/n *:･ﾟ✧♡ :: credits to @/cafekitsune for the dividers! part 2 shld be done by the 10th (no promises 😭) but i lowk do want to drag it out to a three parter.

likes and reblogs make me squirt!

[avelera]

I feel like I don't have the spoons for this, nor the understanding of real-life PTSD enough to explore it, but I feel like it's worth examining Jayce's arc for signs of PTSD. Much has been made of the canonical mental illnesses and PTSD of characters like Jinx, and I've mentioned that I think Jayce might have generalized clinical anxiety, but I think it's worth looking at how much of his behavior might be PTSD related even before he goes to the Anomaly future.

Some possible places I'd look:

Jayce has been getting fed paranoia by Marcus and by the tension that is being deliberately ratcheted up by Silco and Jinx. Yes, he says awful, bigoted things to Viktor on the bridge, but it is worth pointing out that he's not saying this in a vacuum, there are people in proximity to him deliberately stoking his paranoia and that of the city for their own ends, literally Marcus is gaslighting him actively by telling him the Firelights are responsible and the best way to keep people safe is shut down the bridge.

The fight in the Shimmer Factory gets more wild to me every time I watch. Jayce should not be there for so many reasons but one of them is Jayce is not a fighter. I think his video game counterpart sort of obscures this, but unlike Vi who has spent her whole life fighting AND in prison for years, Jayce has never, ever wielded that hammer before. He didn't even have it until the day before! And suddenly he's up against the Shimmer-infused berserkers who are some of the toughest fighters in the whole show. He almost gets his head cut off, if not for features he built into the hammer like weightlessness and the shield, he'd be dead, and then he makes what I call the, "Jayce is Making Bad Decisions" Face (I need to make a gifset of this face btw, he makes it a couple times, also while resurrecting Viktor).

Ok I might make fun of the Jayce is Making Bad Decisions face, BUT on a serious note, it's clear the Fortiche animators are doing a superb job showing someone who has gone into "Adrenaline Mode". REAL fighters do not want adrenaline. Adrenaline fucks up your reaction times and makes you shaky and turns off your higher brain functions. I've been in a fight when fear adrenaline kicks in and you just start wildly swinging to get people away from you and that is exactly what happened when Jayce's face got scrunched up and he started shooting wildly, he just wanted to stop the threat because he's never fought before, unlike Vi. And then he kills a kid and the triumph of his first fight against an uncomplicated enemy just dies and btw, never returns except in that moment fighting more Shimmer berserkers and Renni but those are clear self defense and there's no triumph in it.

BRO gets HIT BY A ROCKET, has a pure panic response leaving living people who need his help in the chamber to save Viktor, and he doesn't go back as far as we know.

Ok so the things that me, as not an expert would be curious to note as possible PTSD responses would be:

Jayce not leaving the lab after the attack except 1) to go to the funeral (where he's attacked AGAIN) 2) to comfort Caitlyn after Mel basically tells him to, 3) to make weapons for Caitlyn's team specifically to keep a small group of people safe, not arm an entire army. Besides that, it looks like he spends all his time holed up in the lab, even after Viktor is gone, because that's his safe space and I think I read once that PTSD has a way of shrinking your world down to just the people and places you trust.

Dragging that hammer around with him in the Anomaly future. Look, Jayce is a city boy, he has no survival instincts, but it wasn't just a bad idea because it broke his leg, it was actively detrimental to his chances of survival because lugging an anvil around drained him of water and calories. Bro had a lot less chance of survival with it, but he thought he was surrounded by zombies (he wasn't, they're all dead and they're all controlled by Viktor, we learn he was never in danger, though I don't blame him for that). But that could also be a PTSD response, his actual emotional support hammer.

Clamming up and not talking to Mel about what happened because she's not in his circle of trust anymore, it's more or less shrunk down to just Viktor (once he can save him) and Cait, maybe.

Ok as usual this got longer than I intended by just... some things that are in my mind right now.

[sensorytuna]

── VENI, VIDI, VICI.

part one . part two . part three .

synopsis. a stupid bet with cartman forces kyle to prove that he can, in fact, pull and be able to date. after hearing about it, you agree to being his fake lover.

notes . occasional swearing, aged up characters (high school students)

♡ : kyle broflovski x reader

- the four boys are at the mall food court, eating greasy fast food while talking about anything that comes to mind

- suddenly the topic shifts and cartman begins to run his mouth about how kyle is “pathetically single” and “completely incapable of getting a date”

- fatass can’t even get a girlfriend that lasts more than a week, smh

- kenny, of course being kenny, joins in on the teasing while stan tries to shut them up

- kyle wasn’t having it

- to make things worse, cartman makes a bet with him

- if kyle doesn’t get a girlfriend (or anyone really, he’s that desperate) within a week, he has to do something embarrassing like listen to everything he does or wear an “i paused my game for this (this better be good)” shirt without his winter coat for an entire week

- in return, if kyle somehow wins the bet; cartman has to shave his head (which was a little unfair but it was too late for kyle to realize)

- in the midst of it, kenny recalls the list of most to least cute boys back in middle school (the forged list), causing kyle to groan and tell him to fuck off lmao

- he comes back home after the weekend hangout and kyle just completely forgets about it

- he was all talk at the mall a while ago and then it’s like the bet just completely vanishes in his head

- lol

- he doesn’t know what’s about to bite him in the ass

- friday night comes along and kenny suddenly chats him on instagram

- digbickkenny: dude cartman’s been talking mad shit, you better come to school next week with a girlfriend or ur fucked lmaoooo

- he stares into the phone for a good second, just staring at the text while all the color drains away from his face

- he realizes he only has 2 days left to get into a relationship

- aw shit

- that sent kyle in a whiplash

- he immediately scrambles and starts considering his options because there’s no way he’s gonna have a girlfriend by the weekends

- and of course he doesn’t want to say that cartman is his supreme overlord and that he’s handsome to the entire school

- he realizes he has to fake a relationship if he wanted to get out of his bet safely

- he would’ve gone for his crush or someone of romantic interest, but… he hasn’t liked someone since last year, so that’s out of the question

- he begins narrowing down who he can ask like a beggar

- someone he trusts not to rat him out to cartman

- someone who can be convincing enough to fool his friends (and everyone basically)

- someone who might actually say yes instead of laughing in his face

- and then you enter his mind

- you and kyle are close, maybe not as close as him and stan but you two sit next to each other in class and have interacted multiple times

- you hate cartman just as much as kyle hates him

- you’re a wild card, no one ever knows what to expect from you; but dating kyle? sounds just about right

- next thing you know, your phone is lighting up with a notification from kyle

- that guy from new jersey: ok so hypothetically if i asked you to be my fake lover would you say yes

- free food (do not call): kyle what the fuck

- that guy from new jersey: ok first of all rude, second of all it’s just for tomorrow

- free food (do not call): why the hell would you need a fake lover for one day

- that guy from new jersey: you remember that stupid bet cartman keeps on talking about

- free food (do not call): no

- that guy from new jersey: the one where he said i couldn’t get a girlfriend by monday and i told him to go fuck himself and now if i don’t prove him wrong i have to listen to everything he says for a whole week

- free food (do not call): LMAO WAIT YOU WERE BEING SERIOUS???

- that guy from new jersey: yes unfortunately

- that guy from new jersey: and i may or may not have completely forgotten about it until kenny reminded me just now so like, you in?

- free food (do not call): so let me get this straight

- free food (do not call): you want me to pretend to be your caring and devoted lover just so you don’t have to walk around school looking like cartman’s personal bitch?

- that guy from new jersey: correct

- free food (do not call): what’s in it for me then

- that guy from new jersey: uhhh the satisfaction of making cartman shut the hell up?

- free food (do not call): tempting but no

- that guy from new jersey: fine

- that guy from new jersey: i’ll do your history homework for a week

- free food (do not call): make it two

- that guy from new jersey: are you serious

- free food (do not call): kyle i am putting my reputation on the line for you. two weeks or good luck finding someone else

- that guy from new jersey: fine. deal.

- free food (do not call): pleasure doing business with you babe

- oh my god this is already a mistake

- on monday cartman is absolutely ripping kyle

- “well kahl, where’s your mystery girlfriend, huh? does she go to another school?”

- of course kenny doesn’t help

- “or better yet, is she invisible?”

- both of them burst into laughter while stan tries to defend kyle

- “guys stop it, give him a secon-“

- you randomly approach them and tug kyle’s arm to kiss his cheek

- “hey babe!”

- what the fuck?

- cartman’s smile falters and kenny is unable to contain his laughter even more

- “here’s your lunch, made it myself”

- kyle’s blinking at the paper bag of the lunch you apparently made for him, his ears increasingly turning pink

- “oh- uh, thanks” as he takes the bag

- you smile him with an expression that can be only described as “love” (with air quotation marks) before you say goodbye and leave

- holy shit what the fuck just happened

- cartman’s the first to speak

- “no fuckin’ way, i call bullshit! you definitely paid her to be your boyfriend”

- “for the love of god shut the fuck up fatass” kyle retorts

i have an idea for a second part if anyone’s interested! who wants me to write it? :-)

[afanofmanyships]

My Take On Danny Being The Gatekeeper au:

For the longest time, Danny thought that he didn't have a grave, that he was graveless. Then one day he met a graveless ghost and it felt wrong - they felt wrong - like they weren't truly there but that was impossible because they were in front of him. They were translucent, but not like a ghost. They were translucent in the way that their outline was disappearing. Their color is translating into black and their feet are becoming invisible.

As Danny reached out his hand to the graveless, they latched onto him. Because of that simple touch, Danny felt this graveless ghost drain his entire soul. All he had to do was pull away, pull away and leave. But he couldn't.

Danny: Let go of me.

Graveless Ghost: ......

Danny holds his arm with his other hand: Let go of me.

An outline of a smile appears on the thing's face: *A soundless laugh comes out of that thing's mouth*

Danny tilts his head down as green tears start appearing at the ends of his eyes: Please

A mask starts appearing in place of the thing's face: ha ha

Phantom looks the thing straight in the eye as green tears begin to fall from his face: LET GO OF ME!!

The thing's figure begins to become round as its hand becomes more solidified, a mouth starts appearing underneath the mask, and then the being grabs Danny's forearm with its other hand: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA AH HA H A HAHA HA HA AHAH AHAA HA AH ITS MINE NOWHAHAHAH AHA!

Phantom doesn't know what that thing is saying as he starts pulling his arm away from that thing: ARG, Let me go!!

The thing laughs at Phantom as it drags him closer to itself: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHHHAHAHAAH.

Phantom: LET. ME. GO.

Danny was able to toss the thing away from himself. As he watched the thing get up and walk away, Danny looked down at his arm and saw that it was bleeding but most of all, disappearing.

Danny Phantom began to pant as if he just fought the greatest battle in his entire half-life, holding his right arm: What the hell was that?

______________________________________________________________

Ghost Writer: What you just described was a No Face.

Phantom: A No Face?

Ghost Writer: Yeah, and by the looks of it.

Ghost Writer jester to the bandaged stub where Phantom's right arm should be: You just gave them their last piece to become a full-fledged one.

Phantom grasps his bandage unconsciously: What does that mean?

Ghost Writer sighs into his hands: Sometimes I forget that you've only been dead for 2 years until you say basic ghost 101 shit like that.

Phantom, stares at him unimpressed: Uh huh.

Ghost Writer sighed again and reached his hand as a book flew at him: A Ghost without a grave becomes a wisp within a year. That is the first step to becoming a No Face. The only way for a No Face to become a normal Ghost once again is for their loved ones to acknowledge that they are dead.

Ghost Writer flips open the book as he snaps his fingers making a pair of glasses appear on his face: Let's see *scams his finger across the pages* here it is *his finger taps the page*. If a grave/shrine is made the Ghost is to find and acknowledge them to solidify their standing in the afterlife.

Ghost Write looks Phantom straight in the eyes: If the ghost cannot locate their grave or shrine. Then that means they are considered a missing person or that no one cares about them enough to actually give a damn about giving them a proper grave. Making them unable to go back to their afterlife causing them to walk the Earth again as a wisp. To find a portal back to the afterlife.

Phantom tilts his head in confusion: ......

Ghost Writer rubs his eyes: Before you ask, no, the natural portals don't work on them. They'll just go through it as if it was never there. They'll have to find a permanent one like the one in Wisconsin and yours.

Phantom feels uncomfortable: What happens when they turn into that shadowy figure I saw?

Ghost Writer: This means that their entire bloodline has expired and that those who remember them are forgetting their existence entirely.

(Danny: Does that mean I'll become a No Face?)

Phantom: How do I get my arm back?

Ghost Writer: You must recognize your grave to unlock your full strength. Find the No Face, and from there it's up to you to make a choice.

Ghost Writer sits up and holds one hand: You kill and devour them, or *raises up his other hand* become allies and form into one being.

Phantom: I have a grave?

Ghost Writer: If you didn’t have one you would have become a wisp already.

(Danny: We need to go.)

Phantom gets up to leave: I need to go.

Ghost Writer calls out: Phantom.

Phantom stops at the door: ......

Ghost Writer: If you need a clue, go to Clockwork. Only if you're desperate.

Ghost Writer mutters to himself: Only desperate Ghosts have the possibility of finding him.

Phantom gave hum of acknowledgement, before leaving: I'll think about it.

______________________________________________________________

Phantom floats around lazily: -and that's all he told me.

Clockwork works on something out of Phantom's sight: Is that so.

Phantom faces himself towards Clockwork: Yeah, then I came all the way over here. To ask for a clue.

Clockwork hides his work in the shadows before facing Danny: Why did you come to me? You already know I have no concept of your timeline, only those around you.

Phantom takes a deep breath: I know that *avoids eye contact*, I just wanted to see if you knew.

Clockwork chuckles: Where your friends or family mourn the most is the place you seek.

Danny is unsettled by Clockwork's laugh: Thanks Clockwork. *Phantom leaves*

When he left, neither Clockwork nor Phantom noticed that his bandages turned white to black.

Clockwork turns to the shadows where a figure is tied to a chair: *Smiles creepily* Now *leans down onto the chair* where were we?

The figure mysterious: Huuuuu...kakkakkakkkakakakkakakukuuuu.

______________________________________________________________

Phantom went on the search to find his grave. It was a difficult task even with the help of Jazz, Sam, Tucker, and Valerie. They searched high and low trying to his grave. But none of them found it.

Sam: What are we even trying to find?

Phantom: A gravestone that says something along the lines of "Here Lays Daniel Fenton A Brother, Son, and Friend. Often Known As Danny Fenton." Or something like that.

Sam: What kind of name is "Danny"?

Valerie: I think I dated someone named "Danny" a few months ago.

Tucker had a gut feeling that he knew who "Danny" was: ...Let's keep searching.

Jazz knew who that person was but couldn't put her finger on it: ...(I know this person I know this person but who are they) *A few tears trail down her face but she quickly wiped them away*

It was at that moment Phantom realized that everyone was forgetting Danny.

______________________________________________________________

Phantom asked around Amity if anyone remembered a person named 'Danny Fenton', but no one recognized that name. He asked teachers, students, store clerks; any person that knew him closely.

Even Wes was beginning to forget who he was.

______________________________________________________________

Ghost Writer is shown writing in a book: *Sigh* I hope I don't have to shelf this one.

To the left of him was an empty bookshelf that wasn't there before. Ghost Writer knew that it would've been one thing if a book/bookshelf appeared separately, but it would be a whole other thing if they both appeared together because that means an important person is about to be forgotten and he'll be the only one left to remember them.

If he could change the course he would but he can't. He is unable to tell and no one else can see these books or shelfs. The only way for someone to become one is for someone other than him to remember them. After all, he is just the librarian.

______________________________________________________________

Phantom ends up in front of the Fenton House: ...Why am I here?

There is a pull from his chest that tells him to go inside, so he does. Only to instantly dodge an attack with the fluidity of a person who knew it was coming.

Phantom: ...How did I do that?

He continued dodging until he was near the basement door.

Phantom puts his left hand on his chest: ...That pull again.

He goes down to the basement until he is in front of the Ghost Portal.

A gleam crosses Phantom's eyes as he looks at the Portal.

Phantom: Are you...*reaches his left hand to the Portal*...My Grave?

The Portal gleamed as if responding to Phantom's left hand.

Phantom touched the Portal to recognize it as his grave only to be hit with extreme amounts of pain and visions. Visions that were and weren't of his dimensions.

Phantom falls to his knees with his hand still in the Portal: Agh ugh ug *closes his eyes in pain*

Phantom floats in front of the Portal (with his hand still inside), and his eyes begin to glow white: I see past and future running free (An image of Earth flashes through his eyes. The pictures of streets and roads flash through his mind as if he were traveling through the streets at the speed of sound. Houses, apartments, and warehouses flash through his mind one after the other. The front door's open and as if being, forcibly, sucked in, the door closes behind him. He's in a hallway but every turn a different one shows up until the image of a portal is in front of him. Images of figures of various shapes and sizes walk into the portal, all making the same mistake. The figures are all seen floating peacefully in a pool of green until they open their eyes and the real pain starts. Every single one of them clenched their heads in pain as their bodies underwent changes to their DNA.)

But that's not a world I know (Adventures play out with a confident, but sassy, figure in every one of them plays throughout in his mind. Eyes of different shapes and colors play throughout his mind. Zooming out it shows that the figures are turning their heads to look up to the sky, as if their looking right at him. As the images are zoomed out, it shows different cities and places. Some familiar and some different. Until the Earth is shown, something that was the same image is now something of its own.)

I see a song of past romance (A picture of Phantom is shown then a picture of Danny is shown. An image of them sitting across from each other during a festival in Ancient Egypt is shown.)

I see the sacrifice of man (Danny Phantom is fighting against an enemy and in the middle of the fight the enemy throws an attack that he can not dodge. Danny himself decided to forcibly separate from Phantom because he knew that if it hits then they'll be erased and so he decided to take that chance because this world needs Phantom. Phantom watched as Danny disintegrated right in front of him. And the being that is known as "Danny Phantom" just became "Phantom".)

I see portrayals of betrayal (Phantom sees Danny on the enemy's side pointing at him.)

And a brother's final stand (Danny and Phantom were on opposite sides fighting each other until they smirk at one another and turn around.)

I see you on the brink of death (Danny is shown in the middle of a battlefield with a variety of serious injuries trying to catch his breath and unable to turn into Phantom.)

I see you draw your final breath (Danny drops to the ground drawing his last breath. Phantom carries Danny's corps across the sea and back to Amity Park. Behind him are two duplicates; one carrying a canister that says Sam and one carrying a canister that says, Tucker.)

I see a man who gets to make it home alive (There is a trial.)But it's no longer you (Danny wakes up in the middle of a forest with no memories.)

I see your palace covered in red (The image of Danny and Phantom in the festival of Ancient Egypt is now splattered in blood.)

Faces of men who had long believed you're dead (Sam sits in the heiress seat looking over the sea of suitors where she spots Phantom in the crowd. She wants to cry but she can't not when the situation is extremely delicate for her; she cannot show any weakness. Tucker is also in the sea of suitors waiting for Sam's signal.)

I see your wife with a man who is haunting (In the POV of Danny there is a figure sitting in front of a mirror who turns around.)

A man with a trail of bodies (Phantom buries Danny in a place that will one day become Amity Park, covered in dried blood.)

I see a song of past romance (Danny in a ruined wedding dress with guns in hand in the city of Gotham.)

I see the sacrifice of man (Danny pushes someone out of the way and gets impaled through the heart remembering that he is no longer Phantom.)

I see portrayals of betrayal (A monster that he seems to know personally attacks him without hesitating.)

And a brother's final stand (Danny turns around and swings his sword to lop off the head of the person behind him.)

I see you on the brink of death (Danny lying on the ground desperately holding a sword away from himself as the other person tries to stab it through his core.)

I see you draw your final breath (...It goes through.)

(As the visions died down, images of Clockwork started to appear and they all said one thing looking right at him:

There Is No Clockwork In Your World.)

______________________________________________________________

Phantom drops to the ground: Huff huff *looks at the Portal* what did you mean that there is no Clockwork?

Phantom gets up on his knees and holds his head with his left hand: If there is no Clockwork then *a horrified expression dons his face* WHO THE HELL HAVE I'VE BEEN TALKING TO?!?!

To Be Continued...

[huellitaa]

⋅˚₊‧ ୨ feeling uncomfy in ur own skin

ok so this is something ive been struggling with for years. like i wake up some days and just feel Eugh way more than id like to. SO i decided i'd make a little guide on this! for me and for you 🩷✨

──★ ˙ ̟🎀 reasons why we could be feeling uncomfortable with ourselves and who we are

♡ having a shitty mental diet and consuming media and things that make you feel bad abt urself

♡ being in an environment where we're constantly being judged or put down, even over the most basic things

♡ hanging around negative people or negative places

♡ not giving urself enough credit for ur own achievements and accomplishments

♡ changing urself constantly for others and not having a clear sense of self to hold on to

♡ not having boundaries on how you and others treat you

♡ staying stagnant in the same place in your life and not changing (🎀🗒️also read: get comfy being uncomfy ♡)

♡ not paying enough attention to yourself and avoiding your genuine thoughts, feelings and emotions

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 1. be gentle with yourself!

pleasepleaseplease its ok to have bad days its ok to not feel great every day. treat yourself as you would someone you love. if you just aren't feeling good today, then you aren't feeling good! honour that and respect that and deal with that accordingly. even if you are uncomfortable with yourself right now or you don't like yourself right now, please try and treat yourself with care regardless, because no matter what stage you are in in your life right now you are and always will be the most important person in ur life, so TREAT URSELF LIKE IT🫶💖

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 2. inspiration, not comparison!

i know its often told not to go looking at people who are ahead of you in these times but hear me out. i think looking at and observing people you admire who are further ahead of you is very motivating to build yourself up and *become more like them* in your own way. you look up to them because of ___? what can you do to become your own version of that? thinking like this gets me more inspired to just get out of bed because i want to be more like them.

two words for this one - NO. COMPARISON. gaining inspiration from others to better yourself and comparing yourself to others are two completely different things. 🫶 (shameless self promo, but i have a post on this here! 🩷✨)

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 3. analysis: detective work chapter!

journal and think and think to urself why u might feel like this or what caused this. when did it start? has anything happened lately that may have caused this? how does it feel, in depth? what can you do to combat this? how can you make it through the day & make it so you do even better tomorrow?

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 4. channeling the mindset!

back to my point on our idols, thinking like them & thinking what they'd do in this situation helps me a lot. personally one of my idols is ada lovelace so whenever im really tired and unmotivated or insecure on my abilities or appearance or anything else i think to myself "what would she do?" and 9 times out of 10 im up at my desk in my cutest outfit hard at work. this is def one of my favourite points and something i use on the daily for like literally everything and 100% recommend 🩷✨

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 5. what would i do?

similarly, ask urself what the best version of yourself or the version of urself youre working towards would do in this situation. be your own inspiration. be ur own muse. would they stay in bed and rot all day? if the answer is no then ur up. out. immediately. ask urself what they would do. if ur feeling drained, would they take a day off to do some self care and recharge? if ur feeling sad, would they be gentle with themselves and let themselves feel sad for a little while & try to work to the root of the problem?

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 6. understanding yourself!

make a list of the things that make you the happiest and most comfortable & productive and the things that make you the unhappiest and the opposite of those things. i mentioned this in my recharge day post, but figuring out these will help you find out which negative behaviours or habits are lowering ur vibrations and making u feel like this, and help u to engage more in the things that make you happy with yourself and everything around you 💗✨

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 7. pay attention!

pay close attention to ur internal landscape and your self talk throughout the day. note down every little thing you notice, even if you think it won't be helpful; for example, do you find yourself indulging in negative talk abt urself, negative talk abt others, constantly being pessimistic and expecting the worst, indulging in judgement and criticism of urself and everyone around you, getting distracted easily, and so on.

🧸𓂃 ࣪˖ 8. what would i do, part 2

like i mentioned earlier, you should be your own inspiration. you should be your own muse. as much as it's nice to have idols, when ur trying to change something about urself and adjust and improve ur own behaviours, you should be mainly focusing on what you want to achieve by changing said behaviours. do you know who you're working towards being? do you know how you want to feel? do you know what you are changing these things you feel into? think about whether or not the person you are now lines up with the person you want to be in all aspects of ur life. if you feel like you aren't even trying to meet these standards then of course ur gonna feel bad about urself. of course don't be too hard on urself, but keep this in mind. 💓✨

finally, remember that these things are temporary and it wont be like this forever. ur beautiful and perfect no matter what and in these times u gotta show up for yourself even more and never give up! i believe in u 🫶🩷

all my love 💗💬✨🎀

[em-harlsnow]

part 2 of Debbie having TikTok

Debbie spends the next few days editing the video so that their responses in the interview overlap. She wants to have their first questions, the ones with the questions about themselves, to be at the start of the video and for the questions when their talking about the other one to be at the end.

She also spends a long time adding subtitles, bleeping out Mickey's swearing and cutting out the parts where Mickey admits to crimes and Ian asks too many questions. She might do a blooper video later if it gets enough views.

Before she posts it, she brings Mickey and Ian back into the house and shows it to them. She wants both of them to be happy with it before it's out there for her millions of followers to see.

Just in case the reaction is as good as the interview was, Debbie sets up a small digital camera on one end of the table. Both Ian and Mickey frown at it.

"Thought we were done with this shit." Mickey grumbles, making Ian sit in the chair closer to the camera so that he's less visible.

"This is just to film your reaction. If it's good, I might make a video out of that too." Debbie explains.

"Okay." Ian agrees, leaning back on the chair to stretch. He has a beer loosely gripped in his hand.

"Sit up, asshole." Mickey mutters. "Cover me from the camera."

"Mmh, sure." Ian mumbles, moving further forwards in his chair. He has one arm around the back of Mickey's chair, and Debbie definitely thinks this would make a good video. Ian's been in the fewest of her videos (Carl's been in the most) so he's a bit of an enigma to her audience and literally everyone thinks he's hot. She's had hundreds of message requests asking for his number or a date, as if Ian would be interested in a random internet fan. Most of them are from women, too.

"Okay, now you'll get to see the results from the video. This is their first time seeing what each other said, by the way." Debbie tells the camera. "Who do you think knows who best?" Debbie asks Ian and Mickey.

Ian shrugs. "We've known each other since we were kids. I think it just depends on who has the better memory."

"I have a better memory." Mickey says. "You can't even remember to put your ring back on after you wash your hands."

"How many times!" Ian sighs, smacking his hands on the table. "How many times do we have to talk about this? I don't mean to! I'm still not used to it yet."

"I don't forget! We've been married for like eight fucking months."

"My hands aren't used to it! I only forget for like three seconds because you notice and get mad at me so fast."

"Excuse me if I think it's fucking rude for you to basically throw our wedding ring down the sink." Mickey frowns, crossing his arms and glaring.

"Throw it down the-! What the fuck? I leave it on the side, where it's safe, it's never even been close to falling down the drain." Ian shouts.

"We live with a five year old, Ian. We live with your fucking brother, who would easily knock it."

"Which brother?"

"Carl, obviously. He's messy as shit."

"You're messy as shit."

"I keep my ring on."

"I keep mine on!"

"Doesn't seem like it."

Debbie sighs, only letting them continue because she knows it's good content. "Okay, shut up now." She says. They're starting to forget she's even here and filming.

Mickey's rolling his eyes and pouting about it, but it doesn't seem to genuinely cause any problems between the two. Ian's arm stays secured on Mickey's chair, occasionally touching his fingers to Mickey's shoulder.

"Alright, here's the video." She says, holding up the phone to them. Whenever they have some commentary, she's planning on pausing it to make the reaction more entertaining.

It begins with a shot of Ian explaining his own likes and dislikes and all of his answers.

"Ha! I got all of those." Mickey says, grinning. "Wait, you really think our first date was at fucking Chick-fil-A? I was so fucking tired that night I could barely keep my eyes open."

"You'd just gotten out of prison, you were bound to be tired." Ian answers. "Why? Where did you think it was?"

"I said-"

"Ah-ah!" Debbie cuts him off. "Wait until it says in the video."

"Is your favourite movie really Double Impact? That's a fucking crap movie." Mickey adds.

"You know why I said that." Ian replies.

"Stupid reason. I thought Van Damme was shitty then and I think he's shitty now."

"And I still think you're fucking wrong."

Mickey grumbles, and Debbie plays the video again. Mickey's answers start coming through, and Ian watches intently.

"I got these right too." He says. "I'm pretty sure I said all that."

"Really? Even the one about my comfort food or whatever?" Mickey asks.

"Yeah, for that one I said-"

"Wait for it to be in the video! Jesus, it's like one minute long. You can wait." Debbie snaps, shaking her head at them.

She plays it again. During the editing process, she thought it would be better to leave all the questions she asked about when they fell in love until the very end. Some sort of romantic idea to that.

"You think our first date was drinking beer at the dugouts?" Ian marvels.

"Yeah, better than goddamn Chick-fil-A."

"But we didn't even eat anything."

"Why are you so stuck on this whole eating dinner together with actual food? That doesn't mean it's a date, I'm pretty sure a date can be anything." Mickey argues.

"I mean... it has to have some kind of activity. Like... bowling is a date. Going clubbing, eating dinner. Those are all dates. Sitting in a field, drinking, smoking and fucking is not a date."

"That's not true. Dates don't have rules like that."

"If they were dates, then why did they revolve around fucking?"

"That just makes us better than everyone else. Everyone does those dates that lead up to sex, we did dates and sex." Mickey points out.

Ian sighs. "Well, we didn't even kiss. I'm pretty sure dates have to involve kissing, at least."

Mickey narrows his eyes. "Fuck you, fine. Then our first date was at my place, when you stayed over. We ate food, watched a movie - there's your activity - and we fucked and did your kissing bullshit." He grumbles in annoyance.

Watching, Debbie sees Ian's face soften, a small smile forming on his features.

"Yeah, okay." Ian says gently, dropping his arm from the back of Mickey's chair to rest completely on his shoulders. "That was our first date."

Feeling like a third wheel, Debbie swallows and casts her eyes away. She plays the video.

It's both of them saying their favourite things about each other, and Ian's comments about Mickey's legs and ass makes Mickey smirk.

"Can't believe you said my hair and not my cock." Ian says, indifferent to the insults Mickey threw about him being ugly. Ian knows that Mickey doesn't think he's ugly.

"Didn't think it was that kind of video." Mickey laughs.

It plays some more, and then Ian's answers to questions about Mickey start. Ian seems proud of himself when he's right about so many of them. Mickey's equally pleased when he's also right.

"You think I'm kind." Ian smiles, nudging Mickey's shoulder.

"Yeah, and you think I'm fucking sweet. You dick, no I'm not." Mickey scoffs. "I am fucking funny, though."

Debbie rolls her eyes and lets the video continue.

"So who won?" Ian asks when he thinks he's made it to the end of the video.

"What?" Debbie asks.

"Who knows who best." Mickey answers. "Who wins?"

"Well, it wasn't a competition." Debbie says, brows furrowing.

"What was the point of this shit then?" Mickey says.

"For fun! And because I'm paying you. Besides, it would be a draw. You both know each other so well it's scary." Debbie mutters.

Ian and Mickey both grin at that.

"We definitely won." Ian says.

"Obviously." Mickey agrees.

"There's more of the video. Just the last bit." Debbie tells them, pressing play.

It's Ian describing when he fell in love with Mickey. About how it happened so fast. About how he was right about who he loved. Debbie expected Mickey to have something to say about it. Hopefully, something sweet. But instead he's quiet. Staring at the screen with wide eyes.

It's funny, really, because they both thought the other fell in love when they first started living together at the Milkovich house. After Mickey came out. But neither of them fell in love then. Ian said it was in the first few months of them having sex, and Mickey said it was in the first couple years, but only since he didn't want to think about it.

"You loved me that long?" Ian asks, when Mickey's answer comes through. His voice is filled with wonderment.

Mickey flushes, shrugs, winces like he hates the question. "Yeah. It was obvious."

"It so wasn't." Ian laughs, outraged.

"Yes it was! I spent like all my fucking time with you." Mickey grumbles.

"Yeah! Insulting me!"

"Fuck off, you found me funny. You just said that." Mickey says, pointing to the video.

"Well, I didn't know you loved me then."

"As if you were so fucking clear about it." Mickey scoffs.

"I was!"

"How?"

"I- I asked Mandy about you, I talked about you all the time, I brought you Lip's weed."

"I sold Lip that weed. Anyway, you did all that shit behind my back. How was I supposed to know you were talking to Mandy about me?" Mickey asks, incredulous.

"I mean- I don't know. Maybe she would've mentioned it to you." Ian mutters.

"Oh, really? Why would she do that? Because I was so openly fucking gay and because she knew we were together?" Mickey asks, sarcasm in his voice.

"Oh, shut up."

"I'm just saying. You didn't make it as obvious as you think you did."

Ian harrumphs, sinking into his chair. He's still smiling to himself though, clearly pleased that Mickey's felt the same way about him for the same amount of time.

"I make it obvious now."

"Yeah? By leaving your ring at the sink?" Mickey challenges.

"No, because I tell you that I love you all the time. Huh? I love you." Ian says, poking Mickey in the shoulder to piss him off.

"Fuck off." Mickey scoffs, chuckling to himself. "I love you too, even though you're an idiot."

"Mhm. See, we're better than everyone else." Ian confirms, satisfied with himself.

"For sure."

"Okay, well." Debbie starts, ending the camera's recording. "Are you good with that being posted?" She asks.

"Yeah, sure." Ian agrees.

"Whatever, as long as we get paid."

"Yes, fuck, I'm paying you." Debbie groans, posting it as soon as she has the confirmation.

-> part one is here !!

-> I hope everyone enjoyed, I'm going to post the comments on the TikTok video next!

[imliterallyf7ckin9crazy]

“ℑ’𝔩𝔩 𝔤𝔢𝔱 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔶𝔢𝔱, ℑ’𝔳𝔢 𝔤𝔬𝔱 𝔱𝔬 𝔪𝔞𝔨𝔢 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔢”

Squid game season 2

In-ho x f!reader

Warnings: in ho is obsessive, stalking, poverty, cannon violence, manipulation, Stockholm syndrome, loss of sanity, reader is an absurdist, childhood abuse, obsession, sad stuff.

NOT PROOF READ OR EDITED. This will also be a THREE PART SERIES bc quite honestly I can’t write much at one time smh. Also do not take reader too seriously she crazy as hell.

Also sorry reader and in-ho barely interact this chapter bc I needed to set the scene so you know what I’m talking abt. Pls read still tho bc I think it’s cool :3 you’ll need it for part two and part three.

TLDR: this is gonna be long af. So basically the reader is previous winner like gi hun only she went kinda crazy after her first game. So she gets like mentally locked in the games so to speak and so after she wins she doesn’t pay any of her debts and actually tried to accumulate more so she can be recruited again. She gets her card and when she talks to in ho he is like “why would u do this” and she’s like “bro bc i think I understand you and shi” and he’s like “if you can win again we can talk lol” and she is like bet. Only he tries to rig it against her. But she is dead set on winning.

A/N: am I projecting? Maybe. Also this shit is LONG sorry it took so long

————

Sometimes, when you find yourself winding through random back alleys or when you lie your head to rest at night, you can still hear the screams..

You can still feel the reverberation of each gunshot fired into the innocent flesh of desperate people. The wetness of the blood that splatters your face as others die before your eyes and you can’t quite tell if the screaming your were hearing was theirs or yours.

And sometimes you can still make out all the promises that were made in the dormitory. The faint memories of the voices of friends you made. The exact sound of their voices lost to time, but the faces of their lifeless bodies remained unchanged in your mind. Some of them were at the hands of players and some of pink soldiers.

And one at your hands.

Life had been cruel to you long before being convinced to risk it all. To say your early life was messy would be an understatement. Years of falling to sleep bloody and bruised, countless hours of begging for basic needs, and endless attempts to run away and make it better. Trying anything to make you feel whole. Like nothing ever happened at all. Once you got a job your parents kicked you out and left you to fend for yourself. At first it was great, you didn’t feel like you were being suffocated anymore. Until you got fired.

The place you worked at was shut down due to the owner embezzling the money and getting caught. The business soon went down at for lack of funds. And the reality of life became clear to you once again. Over time the hope you had to escape your parents and live the life you dreamed of as a young girl was drained from your soul. Ever since then you’ve been doing this. Wandering the streets aimlessly, almost as if you had never been in your home city a day in your life. You can’t even see the faces of those around you. Every face is replaced by one of four faces… ever since then that is.

The first face is younger you, battered and bruised to all hell. You see her face on usually younger people. No matter what they’re saying or doing the expression she gives is always the same. Glosses over eyes and facial features set in a way that screams both “why would this happen to me” and “what the hell became of us”. You cant even begin to answer those questions.

The second is the face of your father. Almost every man looks like him now. Though you haven’t seen him in years, since the game he’s come back to haunt you. To remind you there’s more wrong with you than what happened in those couple days. That there’s more broken about you. His expression stays angry. Tense like he’s going to hit you. For this you almost never interact with men and if you do it always end poorly.

The third is the one drives you insane most.

There was this beautiful, kind girl you once knew. Growing up she was the only thing that made living worth it. You were picked on quite a bit at school, be it because you never really spoke or because you had to be such a goodie two shoes to stay out of trouble at home. But she always stepped in at just the right time to save you. Even though her own home situation was much less than desirable she still found time to comfort you when you were in shambles or got into trouble to defend you. You both told each other everything, both pillars in the other’s lives. But after being kicked out you were forced to lose contact, solely because you couldn’t contact her or get to her part of town. That was until you joined the games at your lowest possible time to try and get some money to keep your loaners from finding you and gutting you for profit. Guess who you saw.

The girl that meant everything to you was suddenly standing before you. Deep You both scolded each other for getting into so much debt you had to meet here. Giving each other shit, like you used to. Looking back you almost chuckle at that for the nativity you both had. You watched people die together. Sprayed and stained with so much blood you didn’t now who’s it was. She kept you alive in there, with out her keeping you calm you probably would have died or quite frankly killed yourself. Against all odds you made it to the final three together against a man who needed the money for his family. She told you it was “okay “to take his life in his sleep after the final dinner because he would have done the same if either of you if you had fallen asleep. That morals in this situation would only get you both stuffed into a gift box. And so you both took his life for the sake of yours. You can still feel your stomach dropping as he pleaded for his life while you and your friend stared down at him cruelly, begging falling on deaf ears as you tore him to shreds with dirty steak knives.

Of course after that it was final two. When the last game was revealed, squid game, you remembered only one could leave. Actually, the both of you used to play squid game in school. Even if it’s typically a “boys game”, she was great defense and you were quick enough for easy offense. Genuinely, those were one of your fondest memories. Of course you’d be pinned against each other for the last time. Though you didn’t know it, the VIPs plans were to be able to watch an animalistic death match. However, you and your friend came to an agreement. No weapons, no fist fights to the death. You both knew you couldn’t kill each other, so you decided to simply play the game for the last time. The loser would take their lives themselves, with honor. And so you did. It became your last good memory. You were laughing for the last time, giggling like you were back to being school girls beating the popular boys at their favorite game. You still roughed each other up, nearing the end you both couldn’t ignore you were fighting for the death. That one of your lives hinged on this moment.

At the end, it was you who had won. You told her that you could both just back down and go home. You tried to convince her but she was set on this being the end, regardless how much you cry. You still remember what she told you before she slit her own throat clean open with her steak knife right before you, blood mixing with the mud and rain of the arena.

She said “I can’t go back there. Not without that money. I’ve had more fun here with you than I ever did my whole life. I got to be a little girl again with you. I can’t go back. This is the way I want to go, y/n.” And gave you a smile with tears turned invisible because of the rain. But you knew she was crying. “I love you”

then she was gone. As you rushed to her side, screaming her name until your throat was raw and starting to bleed you noticed her face. This look of bliss on her face, this twisted look of satisfaction graced her features as she bled from her self inflicted wound and stained your clothes and soul forever. You see that face on almost every woman. Eyes wide in ecstasy, faint smile and whole face covered in bright red blood. How badly you wished it was you instead of her, how badly you wanted to feel the contentment in life she had in those final not. That day you decided when you died it would be like her on that day.

Lastly, the fourth one you weren’t sure if it really counted as a face. It was the black geometric mask of the man who supposedly put you there. After you won you got to speak with him on the way home. Blindfold sure, but you found a tiny sliver where you were able to make out what he looked like. It was less soulless than the pink guards you had seen. It actually looked like a face, only it was made of many shapes. No one ever has his face, but you see him everywhere, more than any of the others. He’s always in the corner of your eye, you can make out his mask in the shadows of buildings, swearing you can see him watching you through your house window at night. No matter where you are you feel him watching.

For those reasons you almost never go out during the day, preferring to slink around and waste your hard earned murder money on stupid shit or alcohol. After all, why not? It goes without saying you were never the same after the games. It became all you thought about, every waking hour became ‘how was that possible? Who was really behind it? Why would they do this?’ So many questions swirled in your mind. You had theories for each of those questions already sure, but physically no way to know for certain. That not knowing sunk so deeply into your blood and poisoned your mind you came up with a new question to silence the voices that screamed at you and the faces you saw.

‘How do I get back?’

You became obsessed with many insane schemes and ploys to get yourself back in. Countless hours poured into the optimum plan to weasel a way inside the game again and truly figure this shit out. So you went back to the basics

Question: how where the games possible? Answer: clearly it was a high budget operation, meaning the money was coming from somewhere. But I mean come on-that’s too much money for just one person not even including the cash prize! So it has to be multiple people funding the whole thing. Thats theory #1

Question: who is really behind it? Answer: Ties into previous theory. If it’s multiple people, then who? Who’s setting it up and then who’s paying? Clearly that masked man is the leader or else he wouldn’t be so reclusive… but who is he throwing these games for? He said it’s just to give people a second chance but that just can’t be true but it can’t be just for him. There has to be people watching, that’s theory #2.

Question: why would they do this? Answer: clearly it’s not just for helping the poor- that much is obvious. Now here’s the theory you have that will be impossible to prove without going back. You were thinking about the games…. Kids games and team games. Like ones you would see on tv. Then you remembered how many cameras were everywhere. LITERALLY everywhere. Could just be security but it feels like more. Then the amount of cash and not everyone has that much money. What if there was a couple people paying to watch? Honestly you couldn’t tell if you were onto something or on something but you couldn’t shake the feeling that you were being watched by something bigger. Theory #3

And lastly and the most important question.

“How are you getting back?”

Why did they pick everyone? Because you had crazy amounts of debt. How did they get you there? Played games in train stations, then got picked up in a car and gassed out.

After months of speculation and planing this was what you could come up with. You had already paid off all of your debt and had so much left over money. You started spending recklessly, at one point just handing out money. People looked at you crazy but you didn’t even know it. You were in your own world let alone had the courage to look at their faces…

You began taking out extremely large loans with no intentions of paying anything. You were going out of your way to accumulate as much debt as possible. Consciously double crossing dangerous people. You kinda hoped sometimes that all these people would be able to find you and put you out of your misery but you were just too good at playing life threatening games. As the year went on you continued to pour so much money into the drain in hopes to be put back on the list for the games. Until that fated time of year came, when you remember being kidnapped.

You eventually realized no matter what you did you’d probably never run out of cash. One very late night after a particularly rough day you decided to gather all your money and dump it into your fire pit and set it all on fire. The tears running down your face contrasting with the wide smile on your face. It was a very bittersweet feeling to watch all the money you killed and almost died for burn in front of your eyes. The money 455 people fought and were slaughtered like animals for being reduced to ashes. But it also felt so good to lose it all and return to at least one about your old life. The time of recruitment was drawing near. You kept wasting money and hiding for your life until you gained even more debt than you had the first time. Honestly you were kind of impressed with yourself- think about it! You were able to accrue more debt in one year than you did your whole life up to this point.

It did briefly cross your mind that if this doesn’t work you literally burned all your money and multiple gangs and organizations wanting to harvest your organs for a quick paycheck. If you don’t get back in this year the chances of you trying again next year before one of many catch and kill you are extremely low. Oddly enough you didn’t mind living on the edge anymore, living within an inch of losing your life daily became so normal to you it almost felt fun. You started to see the world much differently the closer it came to hunt for that elusive recruiter. You think you’re starting understand the whole point of the games themselves.

The more you lived the way you did the more of humanity you saw. The lows of the human experience and the ugliness that controlled the heart of every person alive. And you noticed that the grand majority of these horrors revolved around money. Now that money had lost all value to you it became silly to see all these people just like you were so desperate for just enough money to save them to come along. To be fair it gets to a point where all you can do is pray it will work itself out.

But you watched people run themselves in circles for cash. Kill and be killed for cash. Lie, cheat, betray all for money. You see that no amount of money can take away the wrongs you did for it. All it really is is paper with no actual value. That money doesn’t really mean anything, it’s all an imaginary system people made themselves. All people do to become rich means nothing but they are greedy enough to put money before life. The money means nothing, the actions mean everything.

So then what’s the point of living? If it’s all based off a make believe value system built to extort and corrupt. If everything is rendered meaningless because people put values in the wrong things. If humanity is rotten to the core and unable to see what really matters then what the fuck is the reason to exist?

There is none. Isn’t that beautiful? All that you strive to do in life will not matter once you die. At death a successful man is as poor as a homeless man. In 100 years whatever you did in your small, insignificant life will be forgotten. There’s no point!! You could go and burn all your money, kill someone, lie and cheat and you’d STILL be on the same level as the richest person in the world. That revelation changed your whole view of the world and yourself.

Then the same day came again. The same exact day a year ago when you were suddenly approached by a man with a suitcase full of money and two pieces of paper. You went to the same train station at around the same time as you did before. Your mind was completely fogged with anticipation as your heart raced. You could barely walk straight or hear anything. You had to actually look at people to see if you could see that man, and every face was one you always tried to run from.

You breathed heavily and tears started to prick your eyes as they darted from person to person. You, your dad, your friend. You, your dad, your friend. They were everywhere. You felt as though you were going faint or throw up or both? You knew the people in the station had to be judging you even if you couldn’t quite see them. You felt like a fish In the ocean wandering without a reason. Eventually after you didn’t even know how long you chose to sit down on a bench and you just started to cry into your hands. You heard people mumble about if they should help you or not. Unsurprisingly no one did.

This wasn’t working and you were so fucked. But even as you cried you still believed this suffering was just a drop in the bucket. It didn’t really matter. Not anymore

Just as you were about to call it quits and go back home and hide until you couldn’t anymore you heard a voice so familiar it sent a shock through your whole body. Your head snapped up and a gasp was ripped from your throat

“Ms.(last name). I hoped we’d never have to meet here again”

Your eyes widened as you saw his face. It was the same man who came to you a year ago. You could actually see his face, the first real face you’ve seen on a person since you’ve gotten back since the game. All you could do is look up at him from your spot on the bench with wide delusional looking eyes.

“May I sit here?” He asks politely, to which you responded with a fast nod. He looked at you with this look of… pity? You figured you must look pretty pathetic nowadays. You have maybe 3 outfits total and you really haven’t been eating well. He smiled. before speaking again.

“Your debt has increased since the last time we met, but you knew that correct?” He asks. You nod again. You planned everything but what to say. “Why haven’t you payed it off?”

“Well I uh… kinda did? Most of it now is all new” you said with a shaky voice. He raised his eyebrows and chuckled a bit, finding it at least amusing. You knew it was an impressive feat. “I also set all my money on fire maybe a month or two ago? I’m actually not sure when…” you trailed off, trying to pinpoint the time when it dawned on you that you actually have had no true concept of time. You just know it’s been a year since you returned home. You can only really remember events but the time not so much.

“Ah, grown bored have we?” He mused. You knew that wasn’t quite it but seeing as you didn’t really know what’s made you do everything you have so far, only you knew you had to do it. You gave him another nod. He kept the same customer service type smile as he reached over and opened his case. It was set just as you remembered with the money and the ddakji. You sighed a bit before speaking “do I have to play again? I already know what happens and I don’t really want to be hit right now” you said, not really thinking. You didn’t know if you were in a place to be making requests but here you are.

You got another laugh from him, you didn’t know you were just so passively comical. “You dont have to, no. But maybe it will bring you back to your senses and you’ll live life how you were supposed to”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. ‘Live life like I was supposed to’. Is there any way someone is supposed to live? You didn’t think that way. You weren’t supposed to live any type of way, you should have died in that arena and-

“Are you sure this is what you want to do. What are you trying to gain?” His voice sounded pressed now, clearly trying to guide you into walking away. But if that was going to work you would have kept your money and moved far far away. You didn’t like being talked to like you didn’t know what’s made you were doing. You knew better than anyone you had lost your mind. You knew the things you were thinking, feeling, and thinking were most likely wrong. But you had no other option. No treatment for whatever illness is controlling your life.

“Im not trying to gain anything. I lost what I lost and I want it to stay gone…Please, just give me the card” your eyes were looking dead into his, voice wobbly with both terror and excitement. You held your hand out and you couldn’t even tell it was shaking. You couldn’t tell anything from anything. He lightly shook his head before reaching into his suits breast pocket and pulls out a brown business card. Upon seeing it you almost felt as if you were going to throw up right there. Your throat itched to scream and your legs twitched as if you were about to run away.

However when he placed the card into your hand all you did was close your fingers around it. Whole body shaking as you thanked him for the opportunity, just as you did when he gave it to you the first time. You both stood up and got ready to part ways for the second time. Right as you were about to bow your head he stopped you.

“Don’t become too full of yourself. Just because you won before means nothing the second time. I’ve seen many winners over the years, you will be no different than the other pieces of trash when you die in there. Is that really what you want?”

You opened your mouth to retaliate when he lifted his hand to stop you. “Have a great life, young miss. I hope you make the right decision” he says with his signature smirk and bow he walked in the direction opposite of the way you had to go. Presumably off to recruit more clueless individuals down on their luck. You had to hurry home now, you’d been out far too long and you knew people had people looking out for you. Waiting to catch you and make you pay. You quickly got out of the train station and started on your way back to the shitty, cheap hotel you’ve been hiding in. You’d been in that danm station for so long the sun had began to rise. The sky looked more pigmented, the air felt cleaner and you could actually think without hearing stray gunshots or phantom screams. You looked down at the small card in your clutches and flipped it over, revealing the number you had to call.

For the first time you hesitated in your plan. You were really about to go back to the place that ruined you. You missed the old version of you, when your real personality existed and you had a life. All you do all day is cry and shake and bang your head until you can form a thought. You were nothing like you remember being.

Maybe that’s what pulled you back there. The old you bringing you back to the last place she existed. A part of you actually did die in there, the part that still believed in people. She died right there with your friend, you left your soul in that dirt plot. And maybe you could find her again.

Once you got to the door of your room and got yourself inside you dialed up the number on your card and hit call. It rung a few times and when it picked up the automated voice command the same statement as before.

“If you wish to participate please state your full name and date of birth”

The words got stuck in your throat as you held the phone up to your mouth. This was your last chance to find something within you to back away.

“Y/n, D/O/B” you barely got it out fully as your stomach sank. This is what you wanted. This is what you asked for. Nothing matters. Nothing matters. Nothing-

“Player 444.” That’s him. That man with the black mask, that’s his voice. Hearing your number made you hold your breath and lose your balance. It’s been so long since you’ve been called that name. You knew it was him because his voice changer was a slightly different pitch than the other workers. “What is the point of this?” He asked with a serious voice, bordering threatening. You had an answer for this. “There is none. Get it? If there’s no reason to do it there’s no reason not to.”

He only hummed in response. Seemingly understanding at least a bit of what you said. “I have questions for you” you continued. This is what you’ve been waiting for. This was the point. You just needed to know

“questions?” He repeated. You guess he’s never been pressed by someone before. Small amounts of amusement was in his voice as if shocked anyone would speak to him like that

“Yes questions that’s what I said. Who are you and how are you able to get our information. Where did you take me. What is the point of-“

“I’ll tell you what” he cut you off in the middle of your frantic questioning. It’s probably for the best of you would never had stopped talking for him to even answer. You waited on bated breath, hanging on his words as you kept the phone pressed flush against your skin. Compartmentalizing his voice and how he talks into a file in your mind. “You want to play again because you want to know if your right, is that correct”

what he said caught you so off guard you didn’t even reply when he gave you a chance to respond. Every word got stuck in your throat to the point all that came out was strangled starts of a sentence. “You must have many theories in that little mind of yours. You’re coming because you think you’re smart enough to figure everything out, don’t you?”

Well… like kinda yeah that is what you think. You didn’t really know what to say, he hit it right on the head. You did think you could figure it out, actually you think you already have most of it. Not even his taunting could pull you out of that.

“Let’s play a game. If you can win again we can have a talk and I’ll tell you all you need to know. Only if you’re the last one standing.”

You knew it could never be that easy. With an operation of this scale and price you knew you would never get an offer so open. ‘If you can win again I’ll tell you anything’ they must believe you lost your brains when you lost your mind. Suddenly you did feel like you really didn’t know what you were getting into. It feels like a trap has already been set for you, it feels like they knew you were going to return all along. You struggled to breathe until you manged to force out a “okay”.

There was a muffled chuckle you could barely hear. There was something different now. You weren’t so sure about your plan anymore. He hadn’t said anything out right threatening or scary yet you knew he had something in store for you or else he never would put so much on the line. You just made a deal with the devil.

The original phone opera voice came back to tell you where to be picked up and that it would be this night. The phone hung up after that. All that remained was a deafening silence. It was done. You got what you had so badly wanted. But why doesn’t it feel as good as you wanted. Why don’t you feel fixed? Why hasn’t the old you come back to fix everything? That sinking feeling started bubbling over as you stood there with your phone in your hand. Beginning to hyperventilate you make your way to the crumby hotel bathroom and splash water in your face. You keep from looking in the mirror because you know what you’ll see. It will either be your friend or younger you. It used to be a huge problem when you first got out. Every time you’d forget and see them staring back at you you’d have another break down. Now it just puts you on edge, but it would be best if you just refrained from looking. You keep telling yourself that you can figure it out, you keep telling yourself it doesn’t matter if you live or die in there, you keep believing there’s no point in running from what would free you of your pain. Something deep inside tells you that you are close to seeing what the people who run this game do. That the epiphany they had to come up with this would make it all worth it. All you wanted was to see the bigger picture.

You could die happy and content dying just like your dear friend if it meant you could understand what it was all for. It’s on the tip of your tongue waiting to said and recognized.

You spend hours mulling over thoughts similar to these ones while you counted down the time before being relocated to what might as well be hell. You knew at this point you were walking into a death trap made just for you. You were going to either be granted the privilege of seeing the greater purpose of your suffering. You believed there had to be a reason, someone had to have figured out something huge to make them come to this.

Finally the fateful time reared its ugly head and you tugged on your coat. You looked at your room for the last time. You stood in the door way as your eyes brushed over all you had been. Papers scattered about, bottles of alcohol strewn about and random belongings resting in odd spots. It was time to say good bye once again. You are willing to leave it all behind and relive everything if it meant finding a purpose.

Eventually you arrived to you meet spot, an extremely expensive looking limousine was parked and waiting for you exactly where the phone operator said it would be. It was shiny and black with completely tinted windows. The anxiety you felt caused you to raggedly pant as you approached the car with unsteady steps. You gently opened the car door and stepped inside. The interior was white and luxurious and in front of your seat laid a golden pig. You sighed and closed your eyes waiting for the gas to kick in and claim your consciousness. Tears rolled slowly down your face as every even that happened in the games flash before your eyes. The blood, the screaming, the bits of brains and guts dried onto your clothes, and most of all the severed neck of the only friend you ever had. And to even your surprise you began to smile and giggle as you saw what happened to you play out like a movie in your minds eye. The gas started to be deployed into your enclosed car as your giggles became louder and more deranged. Sobs and laughter being mixed together as everything became hazy and burred.

Right before you black out you hear the masked man’s voice come from the little pigs speaker, loud and clear

“Welcome back, player 444. I hope you are happy with your decision”

_______

Sorry the friend is gonna remain nameless so you can imagine whoever. But next chapter when you get in the games there will be named characters. Again sorry you and in ho barely talked I just needed to get the exposition out before writing the main bits. Thank you sm gang and the next part will be out soon.

Also sorry end is kinda rushed I’m tired

[theblackfemininesociety]

It’s a NEW YEAR besties,

We know you ladies are booked and busy with New Year resolutions, goals and plans to prosper (or we hope you are!) we just want to step in and remind you that BALANCE is the key to avoiding burnout and remain in your feminine energy.

Tip #1: Quiet Time With God

We will always encourage you to stay close to God and build a relationship with Him. Seek and you will find! Go to that quiet place and dwell in the Spirit of the Lord and the Word. The Bible teaches so much about life and even femininity! Here at BFS we know Jesus is the way, the truth and the life. We will do a deep dive on femininity and the Bible soon! So stay tuned for more!

Tip #2: Plan It Out!

January is the perfect time to start using a planner! We need you to become the kind of woman that is always taking a moment to write down and plan out her days, weeks and even hours to stay focused, productive and balanced !

Utilizing a planner not only keeps you organized but also establishes a routine that transforms you into the woman you've always envisioned. By planning, you can schedule meaningful moments of self-care, ensuring you prioritize your well-being and happiness.

Tip #3: Self-Care Days Are Mandatory!

This is a rule we hold all of the sisters of BFS to! You MUST have self-care days where you love on yourself and get away from life for a moment, a day, or even a weekend. This is key to remaining a soft woman in tune with her femininity as you balance life!

Prioritize your self-care in whatever way feels right for you, ignoring the consumer-driven videos on TikTok promoting an ideal skincare routine. Self-care days are unique to each woman. Concentrate on practices and rituals that acquire reflection, alleviate stress and anxiety, and promote relaxation ! This is a crucial part of you remaining in your feminine energy while balancing life.

You need some self lovin ME TIME! this non negotiable and make sure you romanticize this time. Spice it up a little, try a new recipe or plan a certain genre of music, put on some nice pj’s or even buy flowers.

Tip #4: Set Boundaries!

Assess Your Priorities! Regularly evaluate what’s important to you and learn to say NO to commitments that drain your energy or don’t align with your values.

Practice how to Communicate Clearly — Be honest with others about your needs. Clear communication encourages others to have respect for your boundaries. If they cannot do so, then you know they do not deserve to be in your life!

Tip #5: Seek Supportive Relationships (Don’t Be Afraid To Ask For Help)

Build Your Girl Gang — Surround yourself with friends who empower and support you. Engage in deep conversations and share experiences that nurture your spirit. We are so passionate to give Black Women a safe space so much so that we created “The Ladies Room” a Groupchat of like minded woman, ready to support, encourage and hold each other accountable! Click Here to Join

Tip #6: Balance Masculine and Feminine Energies

Take a moment to appreciate the good things in both sides of your personality. It’s important to be assertive when you need to, but don’t forget to be open and nurturing too. Know when to trust your gut and embrace your intuition, and when it’s time to take charge and be assertive. Finding this balance can really improve how you handle things overall!

Tip #7: Celebrate Your Femininity

Start by dressing for yourself! Wear clothes that make you feel beautiful, confident, and feminine, regardless of the occasion. Then, engage in Feminine Hobbies, explore activities traditionally associated with femininity, such as baking, sewing, or floral arranging, that resonate with you. This helps with not only tapping into your femininity but also giving you tools and outlets needed when you feel like life is too overwhelming!

Were basically besties now!

Follow us on: Instagram • Facebook • TikTok

[verysium]

I’ve been seeing some discourse around twitter about the blue lock boys and whether they’d be a loyal bf or not 😭 Curious to know who do you think would be more inclined to cheat or who just wouldn’t at all!!!

I saw someone say sae would 100% cheat like whattt I feel like he wouldn’t even bother looking at anyone else if he already has someone (Cuz I mean dating him would likely mean you actually mean something to him) but I digress

ok anon you had me pulling up a whole argumentative essay here cus WHO TF SAID SAE WOULD 100% CHEAT??? 😔 that mischaracterization is so painfully inaccurate. twitter really took the whole emotionally unavailable itoshi archetype and ran with it. let me just clear the air here because my man deserves some explanation.

sae itoshi would not cheat. as in capital N and capital O. he took nearly an entire decade off his life just to work on his own issues and finally form a functional and healthy relationship with another human being. and you're telling me he's just going to let all that wash down the drain for someone else? 😒 twitter logic really be showing its illogical side here. apparently a man can be loyal to a professional sports career for eighteen years, but he can't be loyal to his significant other.

i think this misunderstanding probably happened cus of shidou. people read the manga and saw that sae dropped rin for a bug-eyed freak and automatically assumed he was disloyal. 😑 let me just say two things here:

(1) sae and shidou's relationship is strictly professional. imagine being stuck in an god awful corporate office with coworkers who bore you with their weaponized incompetence and a boss who annoys the living shit out of you. and then one day, the company hires a new recruit who is probably the most unhinged and debauched creature known to man. you're probably left wondering how he even got hired in the first place. but then you find out...he's useful. he takes risks and gets a high return on what he invests. it's impulsive and stupid, really. but at least it's unconventional and outside-the-box. he has your interest piqued. that's basically sae and shidou in a nutshell.

(2) just because sae gave shidou his number after the u-20 game does NOT mean he would do the same to any other person who would try to encroach on your relationship. and let's be real here. sae would get one text from shidou and block his contact.

anyways, here is my analysis on the bllk boys in general. introducing the anti-cheating to pro-cheating spectrum:

(A) cannot cheat under any circumstance (as in they already hate the fact that they live on a planet with 8.1 billion other people who are not you):

itoshi brothers (atp they don't even have the physical or mental capacity to entertain a third party), ness, reo

(B) cannot cheat due to physical incapability (literally cannot pull anyone within a five-meter radius to cheat with):

ego, igarashi, raichi, bachira (not that he's in any way unattractive...it's just...i feel like he would purposefully act weird to drive off people who aren't you)

(C) could not cheat (basically option A and B but less problematic version)

yukimiya, barou, kunigami, noa, loki, gagamaru, chigiri, niko, hiori, karasu (baby boy literally felt inferior cus his crush was the cutest in his class), kurona (head empty, just you)

(D) would not cheat (on you but everyone else is not included)

isagi (unintentionally a homewrecker to others but would never let anyone homewreck his relationship with you), leonardo (idk why but i just don't trust him entirely)

(E) could cheat (depends on what they get out of it):

kaiser, shidou (honestly what did you expect when you willingly dated a blonde man...)

(F) would cheat (either proven by canon or they accidentally fucked up somehow):

otoya, oliver, nagi

[echo-bleu]

Noldor Hair Headcanons (3/4)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | On AO3

Some lighter Kidnap Fam content, after the downhill freefall that was the last chapter. With a dash of Finrod in Valinor.

Elrond and Elros have never had their hair braided when they end up with Maedhros and Maglor.

They don’t realize what they’re asking when Elros grabs a hairbrush and puts it in Maglor’s hand.

Maglor understands that, but decides that the twins need parental care, even though he has no right. He brushes their hair and leaves it loose at first.

But the twins have watched Maglor braid Maedhros’s hair and they soon start asking for more interesting hairstyles.

Eventually Maglor explains to them that it can only be done by family.

The twins have a whole silent conversation.

“What does it take to be family?” Elros asks eventually.

Well, braiding an unrelated child’s hair is pretty close to informal adoption.

Elros forces the brush into Maglor’s hand again.

Maglor stares.

Elrond shakes his head and runs out.

Of course, Elrond must hate them. He has every right. Sure, Elros has started to warm up to them, but that’s just because he’s affection-starved, probably. They’re still kidnappers.

Maglor is about to put down the brush and try to refuse when Elrond comes back.

He’s holding a second hairbrush.

He hands it to Maedhros expectantly.

Maedhros cries.

Maglor cries.

The twins’ hair really doesn’t hold braids very well, and they’re still kids who run around and play, but damn them if Maglor and Maedhros aren’t going to do their best.

Now all of their people can see that the twins are well-loved.

Maedhros and Maglor also proudly sport a few clumsy, wonky braids each.

They’re less wonky with time, and eventually the twins are doing their fathers’ (kidnappers’) hair as often as not.

Finrod is reembodied shortly before Eärendil and Elwing gets to Valinor. It’s too early and he’s Not Doing Well. While in Middle Earth, he was the one who let basically every one of his friends braid his hair, now he can’t stand the thought of someone touching him that way.

But Beleriandic battle braids feel wrong in Tirion. And he’s desperately trying to reckon with his trauma, with Sauron defeating him by singing about the kinslaying, so he can’t leave his hair loose like the Teleri.

And he can’t quite get the sight of Edrahil’s bloody braids spat out by a werewolf out of his head.

He wears nothing but the very strange-looking (to Amanyar) Mourning Braids he designed after Dagor Bragollach for a couple of years.

Then after an episode of really bad depression and nearly fading, he cuts his hair short.

No-braiding-possible kind of short.

While not unheard of in Beleriand (sometimes former thralls keep their hair very short, like Rog), it’s unthinkable in Valinor, especially for the Crown Prince of the Noldor.

He is stared at a lot, his reputation goes down the drain, but to Finrod it’s liberating.

He does let his hair grow out again eventually, but only when other Exiles start coming back and choose to keep the Beleriandic braid styles, and it becomes a fashion statement rather than a mark of shame.

Finarfin is Very Shocked arriving in Beleriand when he finds his (single remaining) child with her hair loose and everyone else with weird self-braided battle hairstyles.

After a battle or three where he ends up with his hair matted with blood and mud, he caves and gets Galadriel to give him battle braids.

By the end of the war he’s even learned to do them himself! Let it not be said that King Arafinwë Ñoldóran didn’t rise to his calling.

The night before sending the Elrond and Elros to Gil-galad, Maedhros and Maglor undo all of their braids. Everyone cries.

Maedhros and Maglor meant this to minimize the ‘taint’ their names would put on the twins, by making it look like they were still hostages to the end, but the twins stop on the way to do each other’s hair because one does not meet a king with their hair loose, they have manners (which the Fëanorians taught them, so they’re Very Specific Manners), so the effect is lost. Gil-galad has Questions. The twins refuse to lie.

Then, before going to steal the Silmarils, Maedhros and Maglor do each other’s hair, in a style of their father’s that they haven’t worn since the Oath.

Maglor braids a single golden ribbon into Maedhros’s hair.

They have very few pieces of hair jewellery left of their brothers’, but they use all of them.

They both know it’s the last time.

To be continued

I did some sketches for visual reference of a few of the hairstyles mentioned here, if you want to see what I'm imagining!

[calcifugous]

Things what I have learnt as a baby witch

As a baby witch who has recently became more spiritually connected and grown as a pagan, i want to give out advice what I have learnt over the 2 years of doing witchcraft.

1) Don’t jump straight into the deep end

Never jump into the deep end by doing spell’s straight away, witchcraft isn’t some aesthetic cutesy thing, it can be serious, jumping into spells without having no idea what you are doing can be extremely dangerous.

Ideally, you want to ease yourself into it, by doing research, yes the word research can be daunting but it will help you in the long run. Research on what witchcraft is, get an overall understanding what its about, find out the pagans holidays, pagans new year, and so much more!

If you have no idea where to start I highly recommend buying this book - ‘Wicca For Beginners’ by Frank Bawdoe

The book explains the introduction of the basic Wiccan religion including Wiccan beliefs, a brief history of Wiccan Religion, and their traditions. How to practice Wiccan Religion, the benefits of witchcraft and so much more.

2) Never buy your own tarot deck

this is very important so please take note and to remember! Never! buy your own tarot card decks, in witchcraft, it is extremely bad luck for you to buy your own tarot decks. So always either get a family member or a friend to buy it for you.

3) Connect with your spirit guide and your tarot decks!

Importantly, I personally believe its very useful and helpful to connect with your spirit guide, the more you connect with them, the more you’ll know a lot about them and who they are in general.

You can do this through connecting with your tarot decks first and getting a special bond with them, you do this by

- Keeping the tarot decks on your desk when your studying, or reading a book

- Shuffling through the decks every day, you don’t even need to do a reading or to use them, just shuffle them. This way you’re putting your energy into the cards.

- Place the tarot decks under your bed when sleeping.

- Ask your spirit guide questions, like what are the tarot cards intentions, am i being protected. Things like that.

- Doing Tarot readings

Doing these things will help you bond with your decks and your spirits guides.

4) Never touch someone else’s Tarot decks

I’m highlighting this in red because this is a massive 101 rule in witchcraft is to never touch someone else’s deck unless they have gave you consent and permission. By breaking this rule, you are also disrespecting and breaking the person who owns the deck boundaries. Everyone’s tarot deck is very personal for them, its their personal business and item, they are spiritually connected and bounded with that deck. If you touch it, not only are you putting yourself through harm. But you’re also pissing off the person’s spirit guide and disrespecting them too. So don’t do it.

5) Things don’t have to be expensive!

When people think of witchcraft and hearing about crystals, herbs and books, they think “oh god this is going to be a lot of money” but in reality you don’t have to go out your way to buy really expensive things! I’m from the UK so i buy most of my books from a store called WHSmiths or Work entertainment. Work entertainment is best for spell jars which only cost £1 or a simple crystal shop which sells those £1.50 crystals!

6) Learn how to do protection spells before doing anything!

If you feel like you are ready to do spells but don’t know where to start or what to do, practice doing protection spells, protection spells is pretty self explanatory but it will protect you from any negative energy or spirit

7) What to do if you got a negative spirit/energy

You’ll know when you have a negative energy or spirit around you as your mood and your health will change, if you feel like your mental health has been a bit down for a while and you’re constantly feeling drained and tired. That means something is draining your energy.

So what do you do?

Do an egg cleanse spell! This will help you detect if someone has set a curse, negative spell or if theres negative energy around you.

By doing so, grab a glass cup and fill it up half way with water, adding salt to it is optional but i recommend doing it as salt is really good at protection. Grab an egg, place the egg on your head, with your hand you would want to move the egg counter clock wise around your body, start from the head, and move the egg down to your arms and legs, back round to the other side of your body. Do not let the egg leave the body.

After you’re done crack the egg into the cup and wait 5 minutes, if its all clear then you’re okay! but if the egg whites starts forming like spider cobwebs with bubbles between it, it means someone has set negative energy around you or a curse. If you see a triangle base shape in the cobwebs and a bubble on top. It means you have been hex with the evil eye. If theres also red or brown spots in the yolk it also means a banishing spell or a curse spell.

So you do a return sender, if you got any spices, add a f*ck ton of it in the cup, the more spices the better as that will f*ck whoever sent you the hex up. Grab the cup and pour everything down the toilet, look away while you flush the toilet. Once its flushed look at the bubbles, less the bubbles less of the negative energy. Sometimes you have to do this more than once.

8) Your spirit guides will show you the answers in different ways

One thing I’ve learnt is your spirit guide will show you the answers in different ways, if you want to know if you are protected, there will be signs, for example I personally believe if a a white feather falls in front of you or by you or if you even see a white feather it means you’re being protected by a angel/your spirit guide. So if you see a white feather it means you are protected by them, or if you see your spirit animal or if you know a dead relatives spirit animal and it starts to show up.

Sometimes the signs will be right in front of your face, example for me is: My spirit guide warned me about people being back stabbers and to watch out. After seeing that in a reading, i had my mother who im very spiritually connected with, call me up saying she had a dream about me being stabbed and she feels like it represented me being back stabbed and warned me who i hang out with.

Then my closest friend used my tarot deck which broke my boundaries, pissed off my spirit guide so she started to get headaches, neck pains, back pains and it got to the point she had to leave. When she tried approaching me the day after that, a white feather fell right by me, seconds later, she started to feel unwell and went back inside. I suddenly felt the sense of relief and happiness, and when i said to my self everything is okay, another white feather fell and it landed on my leg. That made me personally feel that it was my spirit guide confirming me and saying yes everything will be okay.

That’s all the advice i can think of at the moment but hopefully this has helps a lot of you small baby witches! just remember, if you ever feel burnt out or you start to do witchcraft but dont have the passion or get into it but still want to, thats okay! it takes time!

9) Know what you are doing when doing spells!! And do it when you are ready!

Another thing, i know i said previously doing research is key! but please know what you are doing when doing spells especially jar spells! Don’t do what I did, I thought I was ready to do spells, I tried doing a protection spell and I ended up summoning a trickster spirit who is still attached to me and can be a little pissbaby sometimes by moving my things around. But overall he also does protect me when need be so he can be good when he wants to be.

Also if you’d like to know what books I have, i have these! (the pictures below) these have helped me over the past 2 years with my journey so I highly recommend checking them out!

Good luck and i wish you all positive energy!

[world-of-wales]

What are your thoughts on this new public persona of Meghan's?

I have been thinking about this a lot yk? Especially after the show trailer dropped. I don't blame her for trying to get into the lifestyle influencing shtick, despite all my thoughts on her and her career trajectory, the tig was quite possibly the most steady piece of work she had pre harry. So, it makes sense that she'd like to go back to that. I mean there's only a few chances that you can milk 2 years of ur life that you spent in the UK. Logically she would have had to pivot to a different strategy, and this is her doing that.

But the thing is, I don't think she or her team realise is that this whole thing is not new, people have seen this formula already from different people across both sides of the Atlantic. And they saw it years ago. It's like she's permanently frozen in the early 2000s era and is trying to emulate that. Yes, people used to like lifestyle shows and maybe some people still do, but you would be naive to think this is the type of content they want to consume in 2025. There's been a complete shift in the narrative surrounding them.

For instance, take the aspect of wealth, these aspirational lifestyle shows/blogs etc enjoyed a lot more popularity pre-social media. And a lot of it had to do with the fact that there wasn't much public discourse over how it's just the rich showing off their lives to us all regular people. At most, you would get one opinion piece in some magazine or somewhere about how these shows are not it. But that was about it. Now, post social media, people have a proper channel that they can use to express their criticism of all this. And they do it too. There's a very anti-rich movement brewing on the surface, and you can easily see it. People don't want to see you try and show them how you are living a picture perfect life and telling them how they should be aspiring to live theirs, when they are completely detached from what you are showing due to circumstances.

Across the globe there's a cost of living crisis, food inflation is at an all time high. People are unable to buy the basic necessities of life. Water and electricity bills have skyrocketed. People, especially the younger generation cannot even fathom investing in their own homes as the costs of real estate/home loans etc etc, are too much to bear. Healthcare systems are overshot, just look at the USA, whose audience this show is primarily targeting - you just had a Luigi Mangione. People are being pushed below the poverty line every day.

Fresh produce is a luxury now and there's no denying that fact and we already are seeing it being portrayed as an aspirational item signifying oppulence and wealth. Just look that photoshoot Hailey beiber did, the kardashian fam has been having these parties with all those fruits as decor, one of them even posted a photo with cut oranges in a flower bouquet. And people can try to deny all this, but the fact of the matter is that just as things start going above the reach of regular people they are co-opted by the rich and high class to show off their wealth and living standards.

In this climate a very very rich woman, a royal essentially for all means and purposes, put out this show about how -

she uses all this organic produce (which is one of the most expensive product categories already), People cannot afford all this rn,

has all these beekeeping, chickens etc etc to source all the things she uses (animal farming across the world has been rising in costs, just these past 3 days I have been interviewing farmers in areas bordering india's national capital and all of them even the bigger players have had things to say about how their costs have risen dramatically when it comes to the animals and their care, while profits are going down the drain because of corporations) I took this photo on Thursday on the drive back home.

When she goes and harvests her own veggies, etc, she forgets that there's a farm crisis going on, not just in the developing world but also in the developed states. Farmers are just not able to sustain themselves with the income they have. And suicides among them have risen by a huge margin. She is trying to project their situation as very glamorous without putting in any thoughts of the ground reality. This is a hobby for her, but it's a very bitter reality that countless people suffer from due to apathy from everyone, including their governments. Farmers have had very visible movements across the world these past few years, trying to get their concerns addressed and still continue to do that.

This show looks to me like nothing except a personal ego trip of somebody who's unable to grasp the simple fact that nobody in the real world can relate to this or think about this kind of life at all. Tone-deafness has always been a primary characteristic of the way the sux potray their problems, but this takes the cake. It's the sheer lack of sensitivity and glamorization of an extravagant life that nobody can afford & the disconnect between it and the real world realities is what gets me. She isn't being an authentic, this is my true self person with this show. It's contrived disingenuous slop for me that's just been made for the rich by the rich.

There's a lot more I want to say, but this is already so long that I'll stop here.

[pharawee]

It's Friday Sunday, and that means it's time for more omegaverse shenanigans. 🥳

Sadly, this will be my last Pit Babe novel commentary post for a while because the main story only has 25 chapters. But worry not! Apparently there's a few extra chapters and if anything significant happens you'll be the first to know (but don't be surprised if it's just chapter upon chapter of kinky sex - that's just how Daddy and Papa Charlie and Babe roll).

If you want to catch up, you can find parts 1, 2, 3 & 4 here.

As for this part - expect major spoilers, shenanigans (both omegaverse and not), family reunions, family reunions... and fun card games. But more on that later.

For now, let's get back to Babe, who's apparently rich enough to own a white Ferrari. Show-off. He's currently on his way back to Khun Tony, and he's such a brat about it that he fools the guards into letting him through. Things escalate from there. Babe threatens to bring Tony to justice once and for all, to which Tony reacts with mild bemusement. He's no longer interested in Babe since he's lost his powers, and he even taunts him with Charlie's (supposed) death. No, Tony didn't want Charlie dead. He merely wanted to incapacitate him in order to bring him back home (because car accidents are such a precise science...). It's a pity that Charlie died but, really, at least he's free now. Or something.

This man must have stupid amounts of money to throw at all of his plans because, quite honestly, they're shit. Oh well, at least we know where Way learned his... well, unnecessarily long-winded (TEN YEARS!!) ways.

Babe has heard enough but sadly Kenta steps in before he can get his hands on Tony. This leads to more taunting and the appearance of Way, who casually slings Babe over his shoulder and forcibly removes him from the premises. Which leaves the guards like, "who tf even was that weirdo?" Oh, to be a guard in Khun Tony's employment...

(photoshop is my passion)

Meanwhile, Charlie (alive and, uh, relatively well) is still busy having his stolen powers exorcised by Babe's long-lost dad (the real one this time). The more he uses a particular ability, the longer it takes to meditate out of him. No, seriously, Reval and Charlie are basically just sitting in a room mind-palacing the powers away. Apparently it's very draining.

They also talk about Charlie's guilt, and how he believes it's best to stay away from Babe as not to hurt him again. Sure, he could leave the final decision to Babe but even that, he fears, might be selfish of him as that leaves Babe with the burden of having to decide in the first place. No matter what he does, it will cause Babe both happiness and pain - just like when Charlie's initial selfishness brought him closer to Babe and then almost drove him away entirely. Charlie's mind is going in circles. He's so protective of Babe that he doesn't realise - no matter his intentions, no matter his inaction - he can't untangle himself from the hurt he's already caused and will cause going forward.

Oh, and by the way? That moment when Charlie "died" in the hospital and Babe thought he was getting his powers back and had to listen in on every excruciating detail of Charlie's body shutting down? Yeah, turns out that was Charlie causing (mass) hallucinations and slowing down his body functions. Poor Alan had to go identify Charlie's body in the morgue while Babe was in such a bad way that he basically stopped functioning.

I've said this before and I'll say it again: what the hell, Charlie, you positively traumatised the poor boy. Could you maybe have kicked the bucket a little less dramatically? Did you really have to enact all of Babe's worst nightmares to make it more convincing? Just because you mean well (and didn't do it over the span of TEN YEARS for weird omegaverse breeding purposes) doesn't make it all right.

But more on that later.

Babe has made his way to a safe house. There, he meets Pete - the oldest of Tony's sons and currently AWOL, same as Babe. Pete is adorable, all sunshine and puppies and right-hand man of a local mafia boss. Or something. Because, you see, Pete figured out early on that the only way to leave Tony was to seek the protection of someone even worse. So he started working with the mafia, as you do. Apparently, he's so good at his job that he's convinced them all to go straight. Now he's studying to become a doctor. Oh, and also planning Tony's demise by preparing a really effective presentation.

That's where Babe comes in. Him visiting Tony's mansion was all a distraction - a sleight of hand, if you will. Even though he complains about Way manhandling him (Pete offers to get him a masseuse for the pain) it was all part of their plan:

While Babe distracted the guards by making a big stink, Way snuck into Tony's evil room of plotting (or something) and stole all of his evil data. When he later dragged Babe outside, he used the opportunity to slip the data stick into his pocket. On it there's evidence of all of Tony's evil business transactions. It would be easy to give it to the police, but Pete cautions against it. The evidence would simply vanish - something that has apparently happened many times before. Instead, Pete plans to reveal all of Tony's evil deeds in a way that makes it impossible for anyone to ignore.

We cut to Charlie and Babe sharing a cute moment. Wait, what?

"I've never loved anyone this much before." Babe's voice was soft, as if he didn't really want to accept reality, but he couldn't help but share those feelings with [Charlie]. "I'm afraid that if I love you too much, it will make you uncomfortable. [...] I'm afraid I can't love you as well as you love me."

Is it a dream? A memory? A (shared) vision? Whatever it is, before Babe wakes up from it, he and Charlie share some fundamental truths about themselves. About how Babe doesn't really know how to act now that he's in a relationship because he's never been allowed to be in love. About how he feels vulnerable and unsure, afraid of taking too much instead of giving back. But Charlie reassures him that he likes Babe just the way he is. He feels very loved, and anyway, he's also never loved anyone before so it's not like he has any grounds for comparison.

Meanwhile, Charlie also just woke up. He's given away the last of his powers and he's very exhausted. Jeff is with him to keep him company. Outside, it's just stopped raining. The rain makes Charlie think of Babe because it accompanied them throughout their relationship: when they argued, when they fought, and when they first became boyfriends.

"And the first day you became a normal person, it also rained," Jeff added with a small smile [...]. "But you couldn't see it in time. Only I saw." "Yes, when I woke up, the rain had already stopped." "Maybe that's a good sign." "A good sign?" "Yes," the young man nodded lightly. "Because the rain has stopped. [...] The sky is clear now."

What is this? Allegory? In my omegaverse novel??

There's always been a shadow hanging over Charlie and Babe's relationship - heavy and dark like a rain cloud, constantly reminding them of their past, their powers and the lies it took for them to even meet. Charlie has worked hard to rid them of their powers, and Babe is busy taking action against Tony. Maybe honesty and trust are all that stand in the way of them getting their happily ever after...

Until then, all they have is last night's dream, because as it turns out Charlie shared Babe's vivid memory. Babe's powers were the last to get exorcised and perhaps it created a momentary psychic bond between them. You never know with these omegaverse x-men.

What follows is the moment we've all been waiting for: the grand finale. The Ides of... whatever month this is but I hope Khun Tony gets stabbed to death by all of his adopted children. Et tu Way!

Meanwhile, Khun Tony is throwing a party. And by party I mean a human trafficking auction where he sells off some of his beloved children to fellow rich people. Charming. Why bother with a plan at all? Why not set everything on fire?

Right, because Pete really, really wants everyone to see his presentation.

Currently, Babe is disguising himself as a waiter. We all know waiting (and retail) staff are invisible to most people so no one recognises him except for one lone guard who's so smitten that he asks Babe out on a date.

Pete is also in disguise while Way pretends to be a good son and accompanies Tony for some good old-fashioned evil mingling. Their plan is to disrupt the auction and reveal all of Tony's illegal machinations.

This is a very questionable idea because I don't know about you but if I was at an auction trying to buy a child I'd probably not care if the auctioneer was evil. I'd probably ask for a slice of the evil pie.

Just as Babe is about to set their plan in motion, he's interrupted by Kenta. Uh-oh.

But, much like Pete and Way, Kenta too has had enough of Tony and was just waiting for the perfect moment to act. He assures Babe that he won't interfere. In fact, it was him who let Way into Tony's evil room of plotting to gather all of the incriminating info on him. Et tu Kenta!

"About helping you guys, this is a personal matter. [...] I have a brain, I can think for myself, and I know what to do. [...] But not everyone has many choices. Especially me. I can't make the same choice as you. [...] So, this is the best I can do. [...] You can handle the rest yourself, right?"

And so, Kenta leaves this story (presumably with some of Tony's financial assets) never to be seen again. What a shame. Kim's existence in the series will hopefully fix this.

Meanwhile, the auction is about to begin. I mean, the... uh, fundraising for poor, underprivileged children who also happen to have powers. Everyone's delighted - except for the poor kids who are led on stage one by one and then sold off like priced cattle. The thought alone makes Babe sick. Would the same have happened to him if he hadn't run away that day (no Babe, I thought we had established that you'd have been part of the breeding program...)?

And now, after having watched episode 5 of the tv series, I wonder if this is where the plot will lead us in lieu of the omegaverse plot. Tony mentioned an auction. I wonder if his goal is to sell Babe (and any other of his adopted children) for profit.

Anyway.

Babe's thoughts are cut short by a guard patrolling in front of Pete and his hiding place. Babe decides to check things out but he's quickly overwhelmed by the much stronger guard. He starts choking Babe and things almost go from bad to worse until someone unexpected comes to Babe's rescue.

That someone is Charlie - and there's a short, sweet and intense reunion between them that proves all of his fears wrong:

"I'm sorry." "It's okay," Babe let go of the hug and immediately responded without stopping for a second, his palms framed the other man's cheeks, before kissing his entire face: his forehead, nose, cheeks and lips. "It's okay, Charlie. Really, it's okay." The beautiful alpha hugged the tall young man again while repeating "It's okay" over and over again until the listener felt guilty.

Well, that was easy. But more on that later.

Charlie, Babe and Pete quickly catch up and then join forces. Pete is amazed that Charlie gave up his powers to escape Tony's clutches, going so far as to even fake his death to protect his loved ones. He's also amazed that he'd even dare come here - powerless and without a nifty presentation.

(And also, how does this whole having no powers thing even work? Did Reval - and in turn Charlie when he stole Babe's powers - rewrite Charlie's whole dna? Because how else would that even affect Tony's evil breeding program? And why am I so concerned about the specifics of omegaverse shenanigans? For all I know none of these characters even know or care about dna.)

It's quickly decided - probably due to Charlie's lack of nifty presentations - that they'll continue following Pete's plan. But wait, where is Jeff? There's no way he'd have let Charlie come here on his own!

Back at the auction, another child is led onto the stage to be sold. It's none other than Jeff. The auction grinds to a halt while Tony attempts to save face. This leaves Jeff with enough time to introduce himself and his powers. His name is Jeff, he's a 20-year-old omega and he can see the future.

"In no more than ten minutes, everyone in this room will have the same future." Jeff looked around the room with a bright smile before saying his next sentence which made the entire meeting room fall silent. "That is, death." The little Omega smiled broadly as if his own prediction was very pleasant.

I love Jeff so much. Make them suffer!

He then adds that there's a bomb hidden in the building and it will go off if even one person attempts to leave. Who even needs nifty presentations when you've got... Oracle Omega (no seriously, this is what the novel - or rather, the machine translation - calls him. Maybe it's his code name).

Everyone is then forced to watch Pete's presentation. I really, really hope it looks something like this:

I'm not joking, it has talking cartoon dogs. Interactive talking cartoon dogs overlaid with incriminating voice files of Tony.

Turns out Tony's guests are okay with human trafficking and buying children but they draw the line at violence and murder embezzlement. Everyone is all shocked and clutching their pearls and secretly very glad that their names don't come up in this weird cartoon dog powerpoint presentation.

Tony's acting all cool until the cartoon dogs reveal that this presentation is broadcast live and for everyone to see - this includes live footage of the auction.

But it's never too late to fix your past mistakes so Tony draws his gun on Jeff because he would have gotten away with it too if it weren't for you meddling kids!

Luckily, Way quickly intervenes before Tony can fire his gun, but even though Tony's many guards are somewhat suspicious of a little guy with a bomb and someone who hypnotises people for a living, they're quickly overpowered. In the control room above, Charlie, Babe and Pete don't fare much better.

Everything seems lost until there's a loud crash.

It's Alan in a black supercar and he's crashed through the doors leading to the auction hall.

They're on the second floor (it is sadly later revealed that Alan didn't drive up the stairs - the car was already parked in front of the doors because this is what rich people do to impress other rich people, I guess).

But Alan isn't alone. He's brought several other racers, among them Six (Babe's old rival who was probably turned into either Kim or Winner in the series). Six is a powerful alpha who can cause mass hallucinations that are so strong that they're banned by law.

Yeah.

Tony's guards are going down!

Meanwhile, Tony has had enough. He locks down the whole mansion so no one can escape. Charlie, Babe and Pete make their way up to the roof because there might be a skylight without security doors. They have guns, the many guards have guns, but it's okay because this is where Pete enigma powers come in.

You see, Pete has super control over his whole body, meaning that he never misses a shot.

I guess this explains this bit in the series (except for the part where the arrows are all over the place). But also congrats to Way for his future boyfriend with amazing body control.

While Pete is busy being awesome, Charlie and Babe lament the fact that they're probably going to die here when there's so much sex still to be had. :((((

Things are looking dire indeed. They're surrounded and out of bullets. One of the guards takes aim at Babe but before the bullet can hit him Charlie intervenes by jumping into its path. Miraculously, he's okay.

But that's because a few steps away Way has also jumped into the bullet's path and it's hit him instead. Babe is in shock. He hates Way for what he's done but in a way he's still his best friend. While Alan unsuccessfully tries to stop the bleeding Babe comes closer:

"Babe…" Way's dry voice called out his name as soon as he knelt beside him. "This is all I can do." Babe was silent, he just stared at his former best friend's face, tears flowing silently, without him even realizing it. "I know whatever price I pay, it probably won't be enough. But this is all I can do." Way's voice is very soft, as light as his breath. "…. I'm sorry for being a friend like this.."

And then he dies. Babe is inconsolable, sobbing and tightly hugging Way's lifeless body. He's still angry with Way, and he'll never forgive him for what he's done, but he didn't want him to die.

They better change this whole part in the series or I'll riot. I watched Nut Supanut die once in Something in my Room and I still haven't recovered.

Their victory is overshadowed by Way's death. Tony is apprehended alive and taken into custody. His evil alpha trafficking and breeding program is no more.

A little while later, Charlie finds Babe sitting alone in the mansion's garden. They talk, and Charlie apologises once more for letting Babe believe that he was dead. If Babe wants him to, he will disappear from his life and even stop racing cars so that they'll never have to meet again. This is all he can do: give Babe the freedom to decide for himself. But Babe only asks him if he truly wants to leave, and of course Charlie doesn't. And that's that. Babe has made his choice. He has decided long ago that he wants Charlie in his life.

Their long-lasting painful lives ended in the garden of the mansion that raised them to grow up like caged animals, allowing them to meet and fall in love. Today, everything has ended. It ended with the falling rain washing away their blood stains, sweat and tears, as well as a sweet kiss that he had been thinking about for a long time, making him feel able to stand in the rain without feeling afraid.

Oh, the rain allegory (and also oh, the bad machine translation)!

The novel ends quietly with Way's funeral, eerily similar to Charlie's fake funeral a few weeks prior. It's attended by the same handful of people. Even the clothes they wear are the same (which is convenient, I guess, but also... ouch!). Despite his many wrongdoings, people loved Way - and this includes Babe. And as it turns out, it was Way who got rid of whoever caused Babe's racing accident. He never told anyone about it.

Babe stays behind with Charlie and mourns his friend. He recognises that his feelings of friendship and betrayal are both valid and important (and later on it's established that Babe actively works on processing his traumatic experiences with the help of medication and therapy - and you know, I really appreciate the novel's nuanced approach to a character's mental health. It's an incredibly rare thing to see in Thai BL and an even rarer thing in most kinky stories). He won't forgive Way but...

"In the next life, please be kind to me. Don't deceive me again [...] Be a good friend, idiot!"

Which is as much of a peace-offering as anyone can hope for - wishing to meet each other again in the next life under better circumstances. Negl, I teared up because it's such a bittersweet thing to say. 😭

Meanwhile, Alan and Jeff have gone ahead and are talking in the car. Their ending is vaguely romantic (with their growing relationship hopefully developing further in the bonus chapters) but for now, all Alan asks of Jeff is to accept him in his heart as his brother. Please, don't phi nong me, novel!

And because this is Pit Babe the novel, we get one last drawn out sex scene that consists of Charlie trying to cheer Babe up by suggesting a game of naughty cards. A bit like strip uno, I guess. Naturally, Babe wins, but Charlie is allowed to leave his glasses on - and wear nothing but an apron while he gives Babe the bestest and longest and absolutely mindblowing (yes, there's a lot of blowing too) dicking of his life. Babe, my man, enjoy. You truly deserve it.

The End.

No wait, the novel actually ends with Babe and Charlie racing again for this year's title of King of the Hollow. Charlie is very skilled now, and it's very close but I'm relieved to say that Babe's experience and talent isn't all for nothing and OF COURSE HE FUCKING WINS.

The End.

Hold on, wait. I forgot about the part where Charlie takes Babe to see Reval - his real father. And of course Babe forgives him and it's all very sweet and they live happily ever after.

THE END. For real this time. Except for the bonus chapters. And unless the mpreg happens there (I mean, Jeff and North are technically available...), that's it for the omegaverse shenanigans.

When I first started writing these commentary posts I never thought they'd become so detailed and long - or that people would actually be interested in reading them. Thank you so much to everyone who left replies and tags. Sharing the insanity and reading everyone's reactions was honestly the best part of it all. May Pit Babe the series treat us kindly, and may none of us ever pop up in a cartoon dog powerpoint presentation. 🙏