#autistic transgender issues

[whereserpentswalk]

Once you decide that a marginalized group "loves to play the victim" you immediately become a supporter of their oppression. Because when you adopt the narrative that someone's oppression is something they enjoy and fetishize, you can no longer really accept any time they're actually talking about their oppression nomatter how severe.

Any time they face oppression you can just claim they brought it on themselves because they want it, or they're crying over something that's fair for attention. The narrative of a group playing the victim is so automatically contradictory to any claims that said group is oppressed. If they're a group whose identity is commonly disputed you'll probably end up claiming that they only take on the identity for attention, or claiming they could remain closeted if they didn't want to be oppressed. It's such an easy path to denying and supporting their oppression.

I thought of it as largely an older issue but I very recently heard someone claim this about a group I'm part of in a class I was in. And it was someone who I thought was cool before who was claiming it.

[willtheweirdrat]

Why I fucking hate summer (as an AuDHD trans person):

It's kind of dangerous. In my country, and also due to climate change, summer temperatures often reach the 40s in C and that can become harmful quickly. Along with that, because I'm ND, I forget to drink water and don't really thirst so I'm more susceptible to heat stroke.

Sensory issues. Holy shit words can't describe how hellish it is to be in such hot weather and sweating but not being able to get out. It basically just lowers my ability to function in every day life because of the extra burden of constantly feeling awful because of it.

Dysphoria. Since it's summer and wearing many clothes would be a risk, I have to wear more feminine clothing (I'm closeted). That is absolutely awful.

This is more generic but, I have literally nothing to do. The majority of the day I can't go outside because of the heat and sun, so I just stay inside and get bored. Even school is better than that. It may be tough, but at least I do something you know? If you're trans/neurodivergent/both feel free to add why you like/dislike summer.

[funky-brainedwhaletransgender]

I cut my hair for trans reasons. Then realized I’d had sensory hell I had growing from my head for the first fifteen years of my life. I couldn’t exist without it put back in a braid. Pony tails didn’t do it. They pulled and hurt and there was still hair touching me all the time. Then hair care- the only feeling worse than conditioner was the feeling of a brush catching on the tangles and it was kind of an either or situation.

Wasn’t just hair either- men’s clothes turned out to be a thousand times more comfortable. Pockets suddenly had so much stim toy space. And binders turned out to be the best kind of sensory pressure (until they start to hurt). HRT has given me straggly chin hair stim toys (and enough skin oil production to eliminate squeaky door hinges once and for all /joking, exaggerating).

IDK it’s just nice that the trans bit goes so well with the autism bit. A fine pairing, like chocolate and pretzels. I’ll leave which is which up to reader interpretation.

[i-am-trans-gwender]

I need advice

I'm 19 years old and I need to escape my transphobic parents. A friend wants me to live with him, but there have been issues stopping this.

I have no car, and even if he drove me there, my parents would know where I went.

Even if they didn't find me, my parents control my bank account, medical care, and phone (luckily they can't put the Verizon Smart Family app on my computer.)

They also use my autism as a reason to prevent me from leaving. They claim I can't legally leave because of this. I've heard some people say that it sounds like BS but I don't know.

I need to transition, but I can't do that while I'm stuck with my parents. I'm willing to do almost anything to leave them.

[zombie-boygrrl]

'You're my favourite person!'

Until I'm in competition with someone you have known for less than half the time you've known me.

[the-trans-fiendling]

Hope Streams Eternal

Greetings! Things are... fucking rough right now. However, I refuse to let the hope of myself and others die without a fight.

SO! I am going to be doing what I am calling Hope Streams, very relaxed, very fun hang out streams where I play chill games and chat with whoever wants to swing by.

In the description of each stream, I'm going to feature a different queer individual's mutual aid/gofundme/assistance/etc. post, and build a master list that features everyone whose link I've shared, so even if folk don't swing by the stream, they might see it on socials. SO, if you have some sort of gofundme or a donation post making the rounds, whatever the case may be, feel free to send it my way! I do have a simple priority tree, for those interested, which boils down to the most marginalized folk before less marginalized folk. I don't make enough to be able to donate to anyone, but I want to try to use my privilege to help others when I can. (So, say two disabled transgirls needed help, if one is a transgirl of color and the other is not, she'd be featured on day 1 while the white transgirl would be featured on the next stream)

[madeforunkownpurpose]

Almost started crying in the character creator for stardew valley. Looked at this, felt complete, said "It's me...it's really me." and just almost cried tears of joy. I don't think I've ever felt like this. Goddamn I feel happy.

[gor3sigil]

I used to be a big crybaby. Like you'd look at me wrong or say ONE (1) little thing to me I'd be bawling my eyes out and I hated it, because my tears didn't wait for an appropriate time and/or setting like I'd break down anytime, anywhere.

And now, with HRT and the constant increase of my anti depressants I can't cry to save my life and it's another extreme i HATE. I miss the calm after the storm where I'd feel better just metting things go, now I'm just constantly emotionally stuck and I don't find any outlet that scratches the itch like crying did.

I can go months after months after months without shedding a tear. I miss it. I just want to curl up in a ball and cry an hour or two and be done with the necrotic feelings rotting inside me but I can't.

[will-pilled]

I hate when Those People will try to bring up a lot of trans people being autistic (as if it's some sort of gotcha when if you actually look into it it makes a lot of sense but not in the way they think it does 💀) because it is literally just the "Autistic people are fucking moronic and stupid and can't think for themselves" mindset wrapped in the "pwotect da kids UwU" neat little box with a little bow when we ALL know you're saying the same shit.

[willtheweirdrat]

You guys. There is no "the Good One" in a marginalized group. You cannot say you're one of the "worthy" disabled people and expect fascists to be your friends. You cannot say you're one of the "appropriate" queers and expect fascists to be your friends. Holy shit, I cannot stretch this enough. Even the most typical, comforming, "normal" person of any marginalized group will not have it well once right-wingers start attacking the "weird, dumb, too much, overly sensitive, not worthy" part of us.

[starlightdreamboy]

Healing Is Not Instantaneous.

It's been two weeks tomorrow that I stopped talking to my mum. I know that isn't a long time but it feels like forever. At first I believed that she would go away, I wouldn't think about her, and that would be that, all better. But no, unfortunately that isn't how that works. She has messaged me once since, it set me back a bit, but I told her I will block her if she tries to contact me again. I didn't block her too start with, I still want her to be able to see what's going on in my life if she would like to, I just don't want to talk to her.

I cried a lot to begin with. Grieving someone still alive is a difficult thing. She's still there, she's still alive, but in my mind she already is gone. I still want a mother, I still want her to love and care for me like she should have. I feel angry, I know it's not fair, I deserved to have a good childhood, I deserved to have a mother that wasn't like she was and is still now. But I know it's something that I have to come to accept, I think over time I will. One day I will share with you all of the things she has done, but for now I will keep that to myself.

— Mommy issues Starboy

[homiro]

I don't give opinions because I don't have the mental sturdiness to deal with being misunderstood either by accident or on purpose. And some people seem unable to disagree with other people's opinion without immediately jumping their throats, making assumptions, and overall implying that the person is stupid. And I already know I'm stupid, I don't need any more confirmation of that. So this is ranty vent where I ended up calming down by thinking about how much I love martial arts, especially boxing.

So this isn't an opinion, this is a vent. I felt the same about Caster Semenya and once again we're seeing the same fucking bullshit with Imane Khelif. Let's get Phelps out the way, frist. That guy is a giant, he snatched all the medals when he competed, nobody said a damn thing. Why? He's a cis white Anglo-Saxon male. Case closed.

But transmisogyny is rampant in official competitions, especially the Olympics. Trans people are not even allowed to compete. LET THAT SINK IN. TRANS PEOPLE CANNOT COMPETE. NOT EVEN IN FUCKING CHESS. I'm not even following it, I'm just seeing the shitshow from the news and posts on here. And I'm not talking about Caster or Imane BECAUSE THEY ARE CIS WOMEN SO THEY ARE NOT FACING TRANSMISOGYNY. They are facing misogynoir, that is, misogyny specifically targetted at black women. Because it's more vile than regular misogyny since black women are stripped of their femininity because they don't fit the European standards for what a woman looks like. And that is because transphobic ideas of what a woman is are rooted in WHITE European standards. Short, white, straight nose, light eyes, straight light hair, etc, etc. You know what I'm getting at. The real and most ideal woman for a transphobe seems to be Aryan. There I said it. Transphobia is rooted in white supremacy and the idea that women MUST be short, white, and frail. Transphobes and incels share a lot of the same ideas of what constitutes a "woman of value", whatever that fucking means.

And to show why this upsets me so much, and why this isn't an opinion coming from the outside and why I'm so fucking angry I needed to say something, I'll share some things.

Look no further than k-pop. The guys are called women because they're pale and wear makeup and are slim and I've seen AND HEARD racists say they can't tell if an Asian person is a man or a woman. Not only about East Asian people, but also South Asian people and Brown people. And it wasn't being said to me or around me but within earshot and I am blessed and cursed with very good hearing.

I have seen several videos of black women saying that transphobia affects every woman, not just trans women, and especially it affects women of colour. One of them is Brazilian and got hit with some transphobe saying he could see "his" dick under "his" dress on the subway. There was no dick, she is cis. This motherfucker just looked at this black woman and decided that she wasn't womanly enough. And that is not transmisogny and she clarified that. She said that transphobia affects everyone, especially women of colour who don't fit the white European standards for what a woman is.

And now me. I'm pale but Mediterranean. I am AFAB and I bleed. I have an intersex condition, and it affects my ability to fucking bleed for months at a time, but it happens. This intesex condition doesn't affect my ability to lose or gain weight, but it makes me have male pattern baldness and facial hair along with thick, black leg hair and arm hair. My chest is mostly flat. This intersex condition isn't what made me trans, by the way. If that were the case, everyone with it would also be, and that is really not the case. People with this condition by and large are AFAB and undergo female HRT, which was what they immediately suggested when I got diagnosed with it. Needless to say I didn't accept it. I recurrently get mistaken for a transfem and it leaves me torn because okay so I don't look cis, and to me personally, that's nice especially because I can't be subjected to transmisogyny and can easily embarrass the transphobes, but considering all of the above and the fact that transphobes think trans women are all ugly, it's bad. Not because of me, because I know I'm ugly, but because they're implying by extension that trans women are ugly, which is simply fucking wrong.

I think the most horrible incident that happened to me and honestly I fear for Imane at this point, was one time when I was at the pool and this cleaning lady looked at me "funny" and when I went to take a shower there (it doesn't have booths there), she randomly popped up and I saw her look at what the fuck I had between my damn legs. And I was startled and she quickly pretended to be looking for a bucket. But no, trans people are the perverts and predators and creeps /sarcasm. I haven't returned there yet and this happened over a year ago. And it's important to say that the locker room was empty save for me and this transphobe. And all this to say that while I'm a trans man, I relate to these women because I've been subjected to similar shit, only that wasn't that dangerous, so it's personal and it makes me really mad. And I will repeat that this is not transmisogyny because I cannot be subjected to that since I am AFAB. And I will reiterate that these are not opinions, this is a rant and a vent based on facts and personal experience.

I'll just put four pictures here of four boxers, and allow you to have silent reactions to them and their stats:

Top to bottom, left to right:

Imane Khelif (Algeria) - Lightweight (60kg/178cm; 132lbs/5'10'';

Lin Yu-Ting (Taiwan) - Featherweight (51kg/175cm; 112lbs/5'7''.

Claressa Shields (USA) - Light Middleweight, Middleweight, Super Middleweight, Light Heavyweight, and Heavyweight in Boxing - (currently 76kg, 173cm; currently 168lbs, 5'6'';

Savannah Marshall (UK) - Middleweight, Super Middleweight in Boxing - 73kg/180cm; 161lbs/5'11''.

(The last two have fought against each other)

A tangent here since this isn't an opinion and looking up fighter stats calmed me down since I love martial arts. Height is not a factor in categorising people into weight classes. If transphobes actually cared about the arts/sports, they would know that reach advantage is a thing and is listed when you look up fighter stats. And reach advantage would be the arm length. That's why shorter fighters tend to prefer to fight inside their opponent's reach, that is close to them, because that puts them at an advantage since it's unlikely to get hit with a straight jab in the face if you can almost kiss your opponent's chest. And what's more, if you're a shorter fighter in a weight class where people tend to be taller and thus have longer arms (which is an advantage for them since they can punch harder from further away and step back to avoid an instant counter attack, in case that wasn't clear), it's good to master the clinch. The clinch is what they call when the fighters seem to be hugging and can't really fight, especially in boxing where blows below the belt are illegal, blows to the back of the head and neck are illegal, and kicks are also illegal (that's why kickboxing exists). Because it's close quarters and if you master it, it's a good way to catch your breath during a round, since being shorter against a taller opponent requires being faster and thus spending a lot of stamina faster.

I'm a big fan of Muhammad Ali and of Claressa Shields (and I'll admit my bias towards heavyweight fights, though I also like welterweight fights) and they both exude an amazing confidence. Muhammad Ali called himself the boxing GOAT and Claressa Shields calls herself the boxing GWOAT. And I personally agree with both. If this piqued your interest, look them up and see their wins. Claressa is too young to have a lot written about her, but Muhammad Ali was the one who started the boxing taunts thing, and it was pretty terrible at the time because people saw it as disrespect, but it wasn't. He was just a jokester and when George Foreman won against him and his family was mad at Muhammad Ali for what he'd said, he apologised and said he didn't mean to disrespect him (it wasn't anything super mean, he just said he was slow and fought like a mummy and then mimicked it. And that's because what distinguished Muhammad Ali from other heavyweights was that he was very fast). Muhammad Ali was so goofy that even after he retired because he had Parkinson's, he called his manager and friend out into the snow, and was really stubborn about it, much the latter's annoyance, and said "I'm the fastest puncher in the world" and the manager said "In the heavyweight class, yes" "no, any class" "that can't be" "want me to show you?" "sure" *Muhammad doesn't move* "well? where is it?" "want me to show you again?". Geeking out about my fave, sorry. Just to show that he wasn't a bad person (which is also corroborated by all the tapes he recorded for his daughter since he couldn't spend a lot of time with her and said that one day she'd maybe value those). Claressa has lost against Savannah, but I'm kinda torn towards the latter because she talked about this situation with Imane and the Italian. She's playing devil's advocate, but she did highlight that the qualification criteria for Olympic boxing is ridiculous, mostly because nobody knows exactly how they evaluate people, especially women. In regular, official competitive boxing, it's all very clear.

And finally, you want to see what I look like? I'll put that shit under the break so that you're not immediately jumpscared. My stats in boxing, based on AGAB, are: Junior Featherweight or Super Bantamweight (54kg/166cm; 119lbs/5'5''). And yes, I have training. Mostly boxing, but also Jiu-Jitsu and Muay.

The last one was when I had to present fem for a wedding. The others are how I normally look and I did the Joker makeup and a closet cosplay, because my hair pulled back looks like his and I joke that I'm getting jokerised all the time. Or rather, half-joke. This picture was never publicly posted anywhere before today. I wanted some body pics but only have that available on this PC. That one at the top is a vintage outfit. I lost a lot of weight due to trauma but my bone structure is still wide and "not-feminine", that is, I'm very fucking androgynous. I once tried asking for opinions on reddit and lol I got told that I was ugly in every possible way. The only positive comments were of people saying I'd look good as a guy lol And if you clicked this read more, sorry for the jumpscare again. I just wanted to showcase where I'm coming from. Again, not an opinion, this is a vent. That turned into a bit of a lesson on boxing I guess.

[zombie-boygrrl]

Splitting on a Favourite Person feels like grief personified.

Even when they claim they love you, the reality of the situation is that you are too much for them, and they can never provide you with what you actually need to survive.

So when they say, or do, the wrong thing, it feels like fucking betrayal, abandonment, an admission of your failures as human being.

And every time they fall from grace, I pick them back up, to place on that throne.

But I cannot keep doing this.

It is fucking killing me, and I know I will still be writhing in agony when they leave.

[strange-nd-creature]

currently fed up of my meltdowns and sensory problems being perceived as pickiness and “diva behavior” because of stereotypes about my assigned sex.

[the-anxious-artiste]

I have recently realized that with exhaustion comes inexorable rumination. My soul is deeply intertwined in a battle of endurance against the parasitic shadows in my mind. When I run myself thin, it gets nigh impossible to fight the fear, anxiety, and pain of my past as well as an ill-perceived future. The majority of my daily energy is directed into sustaining my sanity against this fleet of inner demons. This leads to many seemingly unending, sleepless nights as my thoughts flush themselves into the deepest depths of its sewage. Leaving me to pray I stay afloat in the rapids... forced to take a single deep breath before inevitably being pulled under... perpetually hoping to resurface before I lose my vision.

So anyway... All this came about when my QP offered to read to me when I could not find rest, and managed to lull me to sleep with her dulcet voice in a matter of minutes. I wanted to express that there is nothing sincere enough for me to stutter from my heart to serve as an accurate reflection my deepest appreciation. How is one supposed to encapsulate that much gratitude into a simple set of wordage?

I suppose the best place for me to start would be a simple "thank you."

I appreciate you, love.

[i-may-be-an-emu]

Do any other unable-to-wash-your-hair-people have any tips about how to keep unwashed (short and fine) hair looking clean?

Washing my hair is a struggle for me but I hate it being greasy. If anyone has any tips on any ways to fix this or like a spray that will clean it without washing it I'd really appreciate any tips