#as for the less important things:
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Due to this being the strike week for Palestine, I wont be posting any quotes for the whole week & instead reblogging any helpful posts that support Palestine that I see. [This includes the Headcanons blog as well.]
Please help out in anyway you can!!! Even if you cant donate, spread the word. A free easy thing you can do daily is even to just click a button.
Twitter seemed more active and posted more information & aid last time so please look there as well!
#again twitter is more active so i suggest you go there however please spread & help out as much as you can here as well#one person or post makes all the difference!!!#this account & my main will have the most reblogged things since thats the best way i can spread info#as for the less important things:#Due to tumblr having a shit way to edit posts in the queue some posts will still get through [hell you cant even edit/delete certain posts]#The lyric blog especially won't let me change anything so its just stuck posting daily#again please reblog & do as much as you can this stuff really helps#not a quote but still important
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I am so sorry to bother you with this stupid question, but Bisan has asked for a complete stop in economic activity. Can I still donate to help Palestinians or is it better to avoid any transactions for the week ? Thank you so much for what you're doing
hello anon. don't apologise, you're a breath of fresh air after the recent visitors in my inbox. I think a slightly more accurate description of Bisan’s ask is to stop or minimise all economic activity not in direct support of Palestine. Now more than ever, I would encourage people to donate to escape funds for Palestinians, to direct aid organisations like CareforGaza and the PCRF, and to buy e-sims as they’re running low.
Below I’ve compiled a list of resources below but this is definitely just a small sample size of what you can do to help during this strike. This post here is an extremely comprehensive resource that I’d recommend you have a look at.
credible organisations that are doing work on the ground in Palestine:
Care for Gaza:non-profit charity that distributes money, food and other resources directly to families in Gaza.They maintain a regular presence on Twitter and Instagram. You can donate to them via Paypal here.
PCRF / Palestine Children's Relief Fund: non-profit organisation that distributes essential food and resources to families in Gaza. Most recently, they delivered 30 tons of vital medicine, and 82,000 pounds of flour.
Medical Aid For Palestinians: deploys medical teams to treat Palestinians suffering under Israel's malicious bombardments.
Donate e-sims to Palestine: massive post with tutorials and relevant links, with discount codes included in the post and in the replies.
help people leave palestine (donate what you can)
Help a Family Evacuate Gaza (GoGetFunding)
Save Sanaa and her Family (Gofundme)
Save Amjad Saher and his family (Gofundme)
Help a family of 13 escape Gaza (Gofundme)
Help a Palestinian children's book illustrator save her family of 12 (Gofundme)
#donate what you can!!!#there are fandoms on here that have forked up truly lifechanging amounts of money for things significantly less important than this#so give generously#<3#palestine#free palestine#free west bank#free gaza
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I saw this on FB today and I wanna try and express something about it. Like, you know the curbcutter effect? Where when curbcuts are put in it benefits everyone (bicyclists, people with baby strollers etc) and not just disabled people?
There is also whatever the opposite of the curbcutter effect is. And this is that.
This isn't just anti-adhd/autism propaganda... this is anti-child propaganda.
Kids have developmentally appropriate ways that they need to move their bodies and express themselves and sitting perfectly still staring straight ahead is not natural or good for ANY CHILD.
Don't get me wrong, I was punished unduly as a kid for being neurodivergent (and other types of kid will ALSO be punished unduly for it... Black kids come to mind) and thus UNABLE to perform this -- but even the kids who ARE able to perform this type of behavior are not SERVED WELL by it. They don't benefit from it.
This is bad for everyone.
The idea that bc some kids may be capable of complying with unfair expectations, those expectations don't hurt them... is a dangerous idea. Compliance isn't thriving. Expectation of compliance isn't fair treatment.
#theres a lot of things lately that make me think of this where#people will act like theres this class of people not harmed by something#(laws undermining bodily autonomy come to mind!!!!!)#and its like -- no. the consequences will be worse for some people#but no one is ultimately served by the erosion of bodily autonomy like there is not a class of people who benefit from that#same with lack of right to privacy#there isnt a DEMOGRAPHIC of people who benefit from certain things#there are systems that do. and there may be a handful of individuals who benefit partially or FOR NOW#until those systems are turned against them#i think its important to remind people in certain privileged demographics that like#certain things do benefit them#and others DON'T#you may suffer less statistically but it doesnt benefit you!#its BAD SOCIETALLY.
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one of the funniest underrated parts of animorphs to me is the fact that time travel is a surprisingly common plot point, and yet it kinda gets glossed over because it almost never factors into the story in a way that actually matters. like. jake dies crossing the delaware but gets better on a technicality. there were aliens on earth at the same time as the dinosaurs but the asteroid got them too. time travel is a known phenomenon that the andalites have studied, but we don’t actually get any explanation for it because ax was distracted in class that day. everyone went back in time 24 hours and then died and forgot everything. two separate members of the main cast are different varieties of time anomalies and really the only effect it has on them is tobias getting over his family issues. jake is shown a prophetic vision of a world where the yeerks win and we just never get an explanation for what the fuck that was about. every time time travel is brought up, it contradicts at least one other time travel plotline. this is the series that taught me to never take time travel seriously in fiction and i can’t thank it enough for that. this is hilarious.
#i think the only time time travel actually significantly impacts the plot#is in the seventh book when the ellimist shows them the future#and they use those visions to figure out where the kandrona is#there's also the whole thing with tobias and elfangor of course#but the ellimist's time shenanigans are less important than the actual familial connection#animorphs#idiot teenagers with a death wish#koolmathgames.com
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You guys do realize a lot of watcher fans complaining about the six dollars don't just need to "cancel their disney+ or hulu subscriptions." They're the people who ALREADY can't afford streaming services. It's not that they should be supporting independent creators over big corporations, it's that they literally cannot afford to do either.
#Some people in this tag genuinely do not know how poverty works#Like. 6 dollars is A LOT by american standards right now#And that's not even counting countries with currency worth less#For some watcher fans this is literally '6 dollars towards content or 6 more dollars towards rent to keep my housing#Or food so I don't starve'#ren posting#watcher#watcher entertainment#Edit: there's also people like me who CAN AFFORD IT#But they have better things to put money towards. Like college and therapy and medications and a mortgage#So not every fan who can afford it will because there are simply more important things to pay for. Especially in this economy
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Unpleasant Revelations - DPxDC Ficlet Idea for the Stillborn Au
"Have you met my youngest, Damian, Mr. Masters?"
Its only from twenty years of long, hard experience and practice that Vlad doesn't increase the room temperature from 'borderline uncomfortably cool' to 'unbearably hot' the moment Bruce Wayne pulls his youngest and "only" biological son out in front of him.
He puts only in quotations because twelve year old Damian Wayne looks scarily, uncannily like one Daniel Brown. Jack and Maddie's foster son, second victim of their foolishness, and only other halfa in existence. Second only to him.
It's nauseating how similar they look. From the scowl and terrible glare on the young boy's face, to his brown skin -- which was only a few shades lighter than Daniel's, the shape of his nose, and even the strange winged edge of his eyebrow. Something that Vlad has long since come to find endearing on the child he considered a son of his own. The only difference was that Damian had dark, sharp green eyes.
Daniel's eyes were blue. The same glacier shade as his father's, who stood behind Damian with a proud, oafish smile on his visage.
It was infuriating how similar they look. Vlad might not have rapidly swung the room temperature from one extreme to the other, but he can't stop himself from letting the fury burning within his core from slipping out and raising the temperature up a few degrees.
Because it really only meant one thing.
Damian Wayne and Daniel Brown were related.
Damian Wayne and Daniel Brown were brothers.
Standing in front of him, it was clear as day. He can already picture a phantom image of Daniel standing beside Damian, the same scowl written on his face, the same glare carved into his eyes. The only difference being the dark, exhausted circles beneath them that seemed to be permanently painted onto his skin. The only thing missing being the permanent loneliness and vigilance permeating his being like a scar.
This, if revealed, would be enough to ruin Bruce Wayne's reputation. Or, at the very least, darken it quite a bit. The great philanthropist Bruce Wayne with another secret blood child? One related to his youngest? One that had been put into foster care? Seemingly thrown away?
It would be a firestorm.
One that Vlad is not keen on starting.
It would ruin Bruce Wayne's reputation, yes. But it would hurt Daniel in the process -- the harassment he would face alone might just be enough to break that fragile child completely. That was just not something he could allow. Or, even worse, bring him into his biological father's care and custody -- something Vlad was even less willing to allow.
It's not out of kindness to Wayne that Vlad will keep mum about this.
His grip on his champagne flute tightens, just a bit. He's still aware enough of the world around him to not let it shatter in his hands. His plastered, pleasant smile tightens around the corners, and he forces his focus to slide from Damian to Wayne.
"The resemblance is uncanny, Mister Wayne." He says, slanting his smile to the side slyly. Although he's not talking about the resemblance between Wayne and his son. Rage simmers beneath his skin, burning coal and embers in the core of his chest, nestled between his lungs, as he meets the man's eyes.
Wayne swaggles his head proudly, his ditzy smile widening as he squeezes his son's shoulder affectionately. Bastard, Vlad wants to spit.
He breathes in through his nose, and exhales out through his mouth. The champagne in his hand cools, and stops its unusual bubbling.
The Damian boy scoffs under his breath, his mouth still coiled upward into a scowl. With the revelation of his blood relation to Daniel evident, Vlad's not sure if he should find it endearing or not.
He is not Daniel, so he decides that it's just simply irritating. He decides to ignore it.
"And you said he was your only biological son?" He asks, voice lilting and head tilting. He knows its a suspicious question at worst, insulting at best. But considering Wayne's past proclivities, he can hardly call it an unexpected question.
Damian puffs in great offense, face twisting angrily. It reminds him of Daniel when Vlad insisted that he was wrong about something or other, and for a moment his heart swells, fond.
But this is not his child, and so the feeling quickly crashes and burns, simmering back into rage. This was not Daniel -- this was his replacement. A replacement that Wayne was free to keep.
Wayne chuckles, idiotically, as if he'd said some funny joke. Vlad's other hand, the one gripping his cane -- something he's required ever since he was dispatched from the hospital all those lonely years ago -- tightens instead. He grinds his teeth -- him and Jack Fenton would get along like a house on fire, he hates it.
"I can understand why you'd ask that, Mister Masters," Wayne says, squeezing Damian's shoulder again, "but yes, Damian is my only biological son. Although that doesn't mean I don't love my other children any less."
Bastard.
For all his posturing and flouncing about caring for his city and his children, Vlad never would have thought the Prince of Gotham capable of abandoning one of them.
But, well.
They all have their dark secrets.
And what one man throws away, another man picks up. If Bruce Wayne didn't want the treasure child that was Daniel Brown, then Vlad Masters was more than happy to take him instead.
"I see."
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc au#danyal al ghul au#dpxdc ficlet#dpxdc fanfic#i was hit with this idea two hours ago and was hit with the intrinsic need to write it down#parental vlad masters#protective vlad masters#vlad is currently going 'OH? OH YOU ABANDON AND REPLACE **MY** SON??? MURDER. DEATH. BEES UPON YOUR FAMILY'#but he's also still like. evil. much less of a creep! but evil. so he comes off a bit possessive. which was intentional.#vlad's reaction is kinda valid if it was accurate and bruce DID willingly and knowingly abandon danny. except he didn't. he has no idea#danny is even alive. vlad doesn't know that tho. we all love a good reasonable misunderstanding :]#hc that vlad needs a cane as a human because the ecto-acne that killed him fucked his nerves up a bit as a result and now he's got a bad le#and is also immunocompromised. which had a slight hand in his 20 year isolation thing.#stillborn? no still born au#stillborn danny au#stillborn danny#vlad masters#this may or may not be canon to the au im still thinking about it#vlad acknowledges that danny is formiddable but he's also not wrong that a media shitstorm like that would hurt him considerably.#diamonds are the toughest known material to man and yet it still shatters like glass when put under pressure. vlad's right he's fragile#ummm anyways yeah Vlad finds out first and promptly decides to go 'oh okay so fuck you personally actually. keep your replacement child'#he has No Plans on telling Danny what he learned mostly for the obvious selfish reasons and also bc yeah. this is gonna hurt danny#ITS NOT FUN IF IT ISNT A LITTLE TOXIIIIC#i absolutely know that vlad only swears in deserts which is why its important that i have him call bruce wayne a bastard directly.
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Drew a few things from the last post Glad you guys like my high quality au that I made in less than a minute lol
#meriart#rain world#looks to the moon#rw moon#five pebbles#iterator#rw iterator#rw pebbles#to answer some things i saw: the less important iterators work at different locations and yes you can draw moon with a wire bow :)#seven red suns#rw spearmaster#rw artificer
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#digital art#line stabilization#i've been doing digital art for so long that i didn't even know it was a thing in some programs until a couple of years ago XD;#i don't personally use it because i think it's important to practice making neat marks#but more so because i think it tends to give line art a sort of generic and lifeless feel?#i think most people like that because it feels 'clean' but i'm not a big fan - i want to see some character in the mark making! <3#however i totally get using it if you have shaky hands etc or just need something in particular to look less hand drawn#anyway i'm just curious if a lot of people use it or not#poll#polls
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Wait you guys are actually buying Disney products I thought it was a joke
(READ TAGS FOR FULL CONTEXT Sorry it’s long dies
#Honestly I’m only bothered bc I feel partially responsible (WTF EGOMANIAC OVER HERE)#I know I can’t control other people’s spending habits and my own habits are. Less than ideal !!#But when I wanted to spread my love for Wreck it Ralph I didn’t want people to get that takeaway 😔#IMPORTANT NOTE ‼️It’s okay to express your love for something through buying official things !!! That DOESN’T make you a “bad person” !!!#Still ! I think we have to let ourselves feel bothered by things and we need to be more critical of exploitative companies#Of course I chose to watch inside out 2 with my mom in theaters so I’m not immune lmao. Also using amazon / Etsy … just as a whole#But if you need help finding Disney movies without supporting them please just ask me!! PLEASE don’t use Disney+ if you can avoid it#I know we are all capable of finding our fulfillment from better places. But sometimes it’s hard#Capitalism sucks and yet that’s how we are endlessly pressured to live :(#We’re all at different points in our lives. Sometimes self care involves consumerism#Be hopeful that it someday won’t have to#Txt#again I’m sorry if this comes off as horribly egotistical to even consider being single-handedly responsible for#Social media is bad …. numbers bad…. Distorts reality and your perception of yourself…..#Or as me trying to guilt trip people in any way. Genuinely do what makes you happy but WE CAN BE HAPPIER & HEALTHIER I KNOW WE CAN#Wreck it ralph#Rant#Also sorry I have huge beef with streaming services I don’t mean to enforce that on other people but also. Sharing my opinion
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GIF by lousolversons
What do you do when the person who has unknowingly shaped your dreams and then made you part of his dreams disappears? And he's two feet away? I'd fade, too. I'd scream my grievances in a dumpster and wonder if I simply expected too much of someone. People die and leave you. People find a girlfriend and leave you. People are dealing with issues and leave you. And... maybe they were never really with you in the first place?
#possible Sydney thoughts#when you lose a parent young the world seems far less safe#abandonment issues#he left her alone most of s3#syd doesn’t want to let go of the world they built together#but he left her and does she leap into yet another new thing or stay with her found family#Sydney's story is so important to me#it is however bound with Carmy's and I NEED him to be there for her#reciprocity#oh if they played the woman's work by maxwell i would collapse#the bear#sydcarmy#sydney x carmy#sydney adamu#carmen berzatto
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I simply think this fandom doesn't give Wei Wuxian enough credit for the various ways in which he saved Lan Wangji
#mdzs#mo dao zu shi#wangxian#idk man- i just see a lot of “Lan Wangji has always been protecting Wei Wuxian” posts and its like...#I mean... Lan Wangji has always certainly been trying to protect Wei Wuxian#it took him a long time to figure how to successfully do that though#rereading the books rn and noticing theres a lot of instances that could be read as lwj being frustrated over his inability to protect wwx#like he seemed ready to cry when wwx went missing for a while and then came back with the cursed leg#lwj has always been great at protecting wwx from physical threats (ex: waterborn abyss) but had no idea how to protect him from himself#meanwhile wwx has always been instictually good at saving lwj from both#like I'm 100% lwj would've become like Jiang Cheng if wwx hadn't snapped him out of the blindly following authority thing#and also like... 15 y/o lwj wasnt happy with his life. he was lonely and stressed and literally signing up to be flogged whenever he goofed#wwx is who allowed lwj to grow up by showing him what it was like to actually be a kid (shown in story whenever lwj gets drunk)#he led lwj to having a more flexible mindset. and it both let lwj relax and set lwj up to be a better parent#looking into lwj's dynamic with the juniors- he lets them break a fuck ton of the petty rules and encourages them to question authority#he also teaches them to not be married to any one meathod of problem solving#wwx is also able to save lwj from his own stubbornness#ex: carrying lwj when he broke his leg. getting lwj to cough up bad blood. getting lwj to keep the rabbits#wwx also tends to give lwj the words he has trouble saying himself. helps him communicate#wwx also protects lwj in fights a lot but thats narratively less important#except the various times wwx puts himself in danger to help lwj. those times are what made it so lwj could never move on from wwx#like with the cave incident#or when wwx helped surpress the arm instead of using the chaos to escape cloud recesses#tldr i guess: i think this fandom tends to treat lwj being the best like its natural to him when really wwx accidentaly rewired his brain#I'm looking directly at fanfic writers who act like the Lans would've treated wwx better than the Jiangs#lwj had to do so much work and self reflection post meeting wwx to be the way he is. he is not the sole product of the Lan teachings
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Curly's attempt to prioritize the crew's happiness over safety is very in line with the internal struggles he is going through with wondering if he is happy in his life and path or should he forfeit that security.
It's upsetting cause while as understandable as that projection is, the want to be happy in something you don't feel secure in, he can't see past it and allows it to clog his judgement. This is no longer a matter of happiness but safety, but he in the end was the safest member of the crew in practically every aspect. It's not something he's going to understand the weight of from his position.
His current state is also a reflection and inversion of his mindset at the beginning of the game as well as a metaphor for the exact type of endangerment Anya felt. Where as with Jimmy, he gets to feel that "safety" Curly felt with the position but the lack of happiness he perceived he had.
#Curly reacts more to people distress than the actual cause of the issue if you havent noticed#hes like a bandaid on a leaky pipe like yeah its not dripping but its still damaged and he knows that but he is just so preoccupied#mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#cause he never really directly asks about it and i think its an important part of the problem is that Curly fixes surface level issues#he keeps the big picture looking nice and cant conceptualize the one bad part just because he can make it part of the illusion in his mind#like he did notice Jimmy I feel but he did not feel he made things worse because he was used to Jimmy at his percieved worst#like he prioritizes happiness but not at the total expense of safety but he can not see how unsafe things really are like hes less avoidant#more oblivious like the game makes a point to cover up characters worse moments and obscure them
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Average historian denies all gay relationships statistic false!
No-Lesbians Ruth Franklin, who lives in an archive and denies any possible sapphic interpretation of Shirley Jackson’s work 50 times a day, is an outlier adn should not be counted
#biography#Shirley Jackson#seriously “a rather haunted life“ it is so good in most ways#but this woman seems to be like. Personally offended that anyone could possibly read anything sapphic into any of Jackson’s novels#I get it; she wrote that whole document freaking out that someone interpreted Hangsaman as#‘about lesbians’#but still there are a number of things she wrote where it takes an incredibly stubborn reading to not at least see that interpretation#(And I’m not fully sure that document was so much about objecting to Sapphic interpretations of her work#(as it was being upset at the idea of her central theme is not coming across in favor of other themes she’s considered less important#(besides which it gets into some incredibly interesting introspection about why she is “afraid of a word [lesbian]“#in ways that have a lot of people saying “the lady doth protest too much“
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Okay so I'm gonna ramble more about 'The Wild Robot': spoiler alert:
Brightbill was never supposed to come this far, he's what they call a runt, the odds were stacked against him from the beginning of his life. He got raised by Roz and became the odd man out, they bullied him, no one accepted him. All that happens and he starts internalizing that hate..
But then the importance of a support system is shown, because even as Brightbill wants to quit, Roz won't let him, and not only her but Fink and Thunderbolt start supporting him too:
This is so amazing, because what Brightbill has been led to believe is a disadvantage Thunderbolt lets him know it's not, that it's even beautiful.
Not only that but he compliments Brightbills wings after making him, not letting him, but making him show his wings off, rewiring his beliefs.
Then you have the way Longneck took him under his wing among all those bullies, and all he did was be gentle with him and believing in him, and they did an amazing job in showing how important that is, making Brightbill take the lead to get all the geese out.
What made me even more emotional is that this moment Roz tells him: "Remember, there's nothing he can do that you can't". We see him repeating the same thing later on
motivating the rest the same way his momma did...
"Fly like you, not like them". You may not be able to fly like them, but you can fly like you, and it might take a little longer and a little more work, but you'll get there.
Its so beautiful to see what wonders a support system does. What a beautiful movie to all the people who grew up or are living with disadvantages that slow their progress, this gives some hope, that Endurance is a mighty force, we'll get there eventually.
#I think especially now that Im tutoring some kids this hits me hard#because those kiddos are so insecure#so ashamed of making mistakes#so ashamed that they cant perform better and read faster and remember things#and it makes me so sad#especially when i see them get shy when I compliment them#or when they make their accomplishments less#the support system is so important#so insanely important for kids and adults alike#the wild robot#brightbill#roz the wild robot#rozzum unit 7134#fink the fox#pedro pascal#lupita nyong'o
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there are a lot of daddy issues to go around on DS9 in general, but odo, bashir and garak are really in their own special little fucked up 'what am I but wrought in my father's image' club
#star trek#star trek ds9#ds9#odo#julian bashir#elim garak#(I personally think we should put their dads in a cage match and let them kill each other. tain would probably win#but we could just shoot him after he claimed that victory. I Would Like To See It)#the triumvirate of bad dads to karmically oppose the sheer power of good dad vibes benjamin sisko has#specifically dads who Cannot and Will Not allow the healthy individuation of their sons into whole separate people#apart from what their father's hands have shaped them into#where that is one of the first things sisko accepts and realizes he must allow jake to do right at the early seasons#the bad dad club boys seem more specifically forcibly held in place to serve as mirrors for their fathers#and have to find ways to break away from that in more or less graceful ways; breaking off more or less important parts of themselves#to do so#dr mora seems to have a 'oh fuck.' moment where he sort of realizes what he's done#but the sympathy that gains him from me is hm. neglible lmao at least tain is basically fully just a monster#what's your excuse mora#I haven't met bashir's dad properly yet but I've seen enough to suspect I'm not going to be very charitably inclined towards him either
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ok I have A Lot of thoughts about the staircase confession (well really about Edwin's whole character arc, but all roads lead to rome) but for now I just wanna say that, yes, I was bracing myself for something to go terribly wrong when I first watched it, and yes, part of me was initially worried its placement might be an uncharacteristically foolish choice made in the name of Drama or Pacing or Making a Compelling Episode of Television but at the expense of narrative sense--
But I wanna say that having taken all that into account, and watched it play out, and sat with it - and honestly become rather transfixed by it - I really think it's a beautifully crafted moment and truly the only way that arc could've arrived at such a satisfying conclusion.
And if I had to pinpoint why I not only buy it but also have come to really treasure it, I'd have to put it down to the fact that it genuinely is a confession, and nothing else.
That moment is an announcement of what Edwin has come to understand about himself, but because it takes the form of a character admitting romantic feelings for such a close friend, I think it can be very easy, when writing that kind of thing, to imbue it with other elements like a plea or a request or even the start of a new relationship that, intentionally or not, would change the shape of the moment and can quickly overshadow what a huge deal the telling is all on its own. But that's not the case here. Since it is only a confession, unaccompanied by anything else, and since we see afterward how it was enough, evidently, to fix the strangeness that had grown between him & Charles, we're forced to understand that it was never Edwin's feelings that were actually making things difficult for him - it was not being able to tell Charles about them. 'Terrified' as he's been of this, Edwin learns that his feelings don't need to either disappear completely or be totally reciprocated in order for him to be able to return to the peace, stability, and security of the relationship with which he defines his existence - and the scale of that relief a) tells us a hell of a lot about Edwin as a character and b) totally justifies the way his declaration just bursts out of him at what would otherwise be such a poorly chosen moment, in my opinion.
Whether or not they are or ever could be reciprocated, Edwin's feelings are definitively proven not to be the problem here - only his potential choice to bottle it up - his repression - is. And where that repression had once been mainly involuntary, a product of what he'd been through, now that he's got this new awareness of himself, if he still fails to admit what he's found either to himself or to the one person he's so unambiguously close with, then that repression will be by his own choice and actions.
And he won't do that. Among other things, he's coming into this scene having just (unknowingly) absolved the soul of his own school bully and accidental killer by pointing out a fact that is every bit as central to his self-discovery as anything about his sexuality or his attraction to Charles is: the idea that "If you punish yourself, everywhere becomes Hell"
So narratively speaking, of course it makes sense that Edwin literally cannot get out of Hell until he stops punishing himself - and right now, the thing that's torturing him is something he has control over. It's not who he is or what he feels, but what he chooses to do with those feelings that's hurting him, and he's even already made the conscious choice to tell Charles about them, he was just interrupted. But now that they're back together and he's literally in the middle of an attempt to escape Hell, there is absolutely no way he can so much as stop for breath without telling Charles the truth. Even the stopping for breath is so loaded - because they're ghosts, they don't need to breathe, but also they're in Hell, so the one thing they can feel is pain, however nonsensical. And Edwin certainly is in pain. But whether he knows what he's about to do or not when he says he 'just needs a tick,' a breather is absolutely not what's gonna give him enough relief to keep climbing - it's fixing that other hurt, though, that will.
Like everything else in that scene, there's a lot of layers to him promising Charles "You don't have to feel the same way, I just needed you to know" - but I don't think that means it isn't also true on a surface level. It's the act of telling Charles that matters so much more than whatever follows it, and while that might have gone unnoticed if anything else major had happened in the same conversation, now we're forced to acknowledge its staggering and singular importance for what it is. The moment is well-earned and properly built up to, but until we see it happen in all its wonderful simplicity, and we see the aftermath (or lack thereof, even), we couldn't properly anticipate how much of a weight off Edwin's shoulders merely getting to share the truth with Charles was going to be, why he couldn't wait for a better, safer opportunity before giving in to that desire, or how badly he needed to say it and nothing else - and I really, really love the weight that act of just being honest, seen, and known is given in their story/relationship.
#dead boy detectives#edwin payne#the case of the very long stairway#im sorry this really IS the short version of my thoughts i swear#i didnt want to get long and rambley backing everything up and mentioning everything else this forces me to reconsider#i just feel like i've barely interacted w this fandom and still seen quite a few odd duck takes on this moment imo#i dont think he wouldntve got the nerve to say it otherwise#(he was already going to! & if anything his new experiences in hell only cement that being the right choice)#and as much as i get what fear can do to a person i still definitely dont think he was resigned to staying in hell if charles reacted badly#i truly think he just couldnt keep it to himself any longer#the show is upfront about his escaping hell being a testament to his own strength rather than a lucky break of some sort#so i think even being on the receiving end of a rescue mission getting out still must take a lot of strength in this universe#and telling charles that definitely made him stronger/in less pain#so yeah totally necessary it happened where and when it did in my book#also i hope it doesnt sound like im being dismissive of anything charles says in this scene#but the way i see it those were all things they both already knew#so reaffirming them just adds to the idea that the act of Telling Each Other Things is what's so important here#rather than counting as a truly separate thing this conversation achieves#just my two cents
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