#you have to be vulnerable even if you are awkward about it because vulnerability and awkwardness are two sides of the same coin

[gisezella]

HEADCANON .ᐟ

ᡣ𐭩 content — 𝗅𝖺𝗍𝖾 𝖼𝖺𝗇𝗈𝗇 / 𝗉𝗈𝗌𝗍-𝖼𝖺𝗇𝗈𝗇. 𝗅𝖾𝗏𝗂 𝗐𝗂𝗍𝗁 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗐𝖾𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 𝗈𝖿 𝗅𝗈𝗌𝗌 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾.

He doesn’t really know when it started, but he remembers when something shifted. It was just another evening, and you walked in without knocking, your hands covered in dirt, a distracted smile on your lips. Nothing special happened. You simply existed… and for some reason, that was enough to make him want to wake up the next day.

He doesn’t believe in forever, but he believes in consistency. Levi won’t promise you he’ll always be there. Not because he doesn’t want to — but because he knows too well what it means to lose. So instead, he stays. He’s there, steady, bandaging your wounds with trembling hands, offering you his silence like it’s a private language only you understand.

He watches more than he speaks. Sometimes he seems distant, like his mind is somewhere else, but in truth, he’s memorizing every detail of you — the way your brow furrows when you think, the exact sound of your laugh, the way your fingers tremble just before you cry. He knows you by heart, even if he never says it out loud.

He hates seeing you hurt, but he can’t shelter you. It’s a war inside him. Part of him wants to lock you away where nothing can touch you. But he respects your strength too much. So he trains with you, corrects you harshly, and then lies awake at night staring at the ceiling, praying you’ll never have to use what you’ve learned.

He doesn’t understand why you love him. Every time you say something kind, a part of him recoils, bracing for the moment you finally realize he’s broken. And yet, every time you look at him with unshaken, quiet affection… that hollow part of him feels a little less empty.

He’s awkward with affection, but never indifferent. He’s not one for public displays or romantic speeches. But he makes your tea the exact way you like it. He adjusts your cloak before a mission. And when no one’s watching, he brushes your cheek with his knuckles, like that small touch could shield you from the world.

He has nightmares, and he rarely lets you see it. But on the nights he can’t hide it — when his hands shake and his eyes are clouded — he doesn’t push you away. He lets you hold him, stiff at first, until his breathing matches yours. You're the only one who can calm the chaos in his chest.

He thinks his love is a curse. Everyone he’s ever cared about is gone. So he loves you with fear, with guilt, with the constant dread that one day, you’ll be next. And yet, he clings to you. Because if the world is hell, you’re the only reason he keeps walking through it.

He admires you quietly. He’ll never say it out loud, but the way you face your fears — flawed and human — commands a deep respect in him. He doesn’t need perfection. He’s touched by your persistence. By the way you still try.

His love has its own language. He won’t say “I love you” often, but he shows it. He takes longer routes just to walk beside you. He remembers what you hate eating. He listens — to every word — even if he doesn’t always reply. And when you’re in danger, the calm cracks. He doesn’t stay still.

His jealousy is silent and self-inflicted. He won’t forbid you from seeing anyone or lash out. But if someone else makes you laugh, if your eyes light up for reasons that aren’t him, his gaze hardens. He’ll retreat for a few days, quiet and withdrawn, trying to remind himself you’re not his — and that terrifies him.

You make him laugh. Not often, and rarely in public. But there are rare, precious moments where he lets out a dry, genuine laugh. And when he does, he looks away quickly, like he’s just exposed a vulnerability. He doesn’t know how you do it — but you do.

Cleaning is his coping mechanism, but you are his home. When the world gets too loud, he scrubs it away. But when he’s with you — when he hears your voice, feels your hand in his — the urge to run quiets down. For the first time, he begins to understand what it means to stay.

He’ll always worry about you. You can tell him you’re fine, that it’s just a scratch. But his eyes will search your body for the truth. He can’t help it. To love, for Levi, is to carry the weight of your safety like a blade drawn at all times.

Intimacy isn’t just physical — it’s surrender. When he lets you in, it’s not about lust. It’s about vulnerability. He kisses you like he doesn’t deserve it. He touches you with reverence, like every brush of skin is a silent prayer to something he doesn’t believe in — but hopes, just this once, might answer.

Sometimes, he pulls away without explanation. Not because he’s stopped loving you, but because he needs to remember who he was before you, to not lose himself completely. But even in his silence, he thinks of you — your voice, your touch, your presence. He always comes back… even if he doesn’t always know how to say sorry.

He sees you as his equal. There’s no pedestal. No illusion. When he fights beside you, he trusts you like any other comrade — but his heart beats faster. Not out of doubt… but because you mean more than the others ever could.

He struggles with words, but tries for you. The first few times he tried to say “I love you,” the words got stuck in his throat. But one night, with his head in your lap, it slipped out — quiet, raw, unguarded. You understood it anyway. Because with Levi, those words are louder than a scream.

Sometimes, he dreams of a life he knows he’ll never have. A tiny house. A quiet garden. You reading while he cooks, badly. It’s not realistic — he knows. But when you’re asleep next to him, safe and warm, he lets himself pretend, just for a moment, that peace is possible.

If he dies, you’re the last thing he wants to see. Not his squad. Not the past. Just you. Because in the blood and the loss, you were the one beautiful thing he ever truly had. And somehow, against all odds, Levi Ackerman loved. And was loved.

[bloodyhellgranger]

When did Spike and Buffy fall in love?

So I typed this rambling to answer a question someone posted elsewhere and thought I might as well share it here too. Again, it's not the most organized or coherent post. ----------

Spike was ATTRACTED to Buffy from the beginning. There are multiple layers to this...

He is drawn to slayers because they represent death and glory to him.

She (and other slayers) are the only ones who could give him the exhilarating fights he craves for.

She was pretty, smart, resourceful and different.

But he fell in love with her gradually throughout the series. The seeds were planted in Becoming Pt. 2 which is why Dru could see her in him (either presently or in the future) but it was mostly still attraction (Who are You when Faith was in her body, Superstar when he was still obviously fixating on her when the rest were idolizing Jonathan), even when he dreamed about them having sex. But the more he saw her, really took notice of her and saw her heart, he fell in love. (Think of Family where she stood up for Tara, think of Fool for Love where she showed vulnerability about her mother, and everything adding up for him even the fact that she took pity and helped him in S4 etc). So I can't pinpoint a moment but it was in the first half of S5 when he actually fell in love.

Buffy is even harder to pinpoint because she represses her feelings by nature and doesn't share them a lot. But I think there was lowkey attraction from the beginning, even just in the recognition that he was different from every villain she's ever encountered. She complained about how her enemies couldn't appreciate her quips and puns but here was Spike, bantering with her back and forth with a sexually charged energy. There was an unconscious acknowledgement of his difference and significance - she seemed to implicitly trust him in a lot of matters, even when it didn't make sense. For Buffy's feelings we have to read a lot of subtext and accept that we had little insight to her REAL thoughts and feelings.

She let him go in the Bronze alleyway.

She offered to fight without weapons - which was pretty insane, since she couldn't kill him without one. But she actually dropped her weapon when he did.

In Lie to Me she knew Dru meant everything to him even with the little information she had of their relationship. She put all her eggs in one basket by threatening her. And she was right, he let everyone go to save Dru. And she honored their deal and didn't dust Dru.

In Becoming Pt. 2, she kept eyeing him up. Partly to figure out his motives but also because she was seeing him differently. You can see her trust again when she communicated with him with her eyes when Joyce arrived, and how she just trusted him not to out her to her mother and go along with her excuse. And how she trusted him to be with Joyce in the other room. Again, these instances of trust are huge - he was unchipped and known to be evil. So there was something in him that made her regard and treat him differently than other villains.

Lovers Walk - they fought together, bickered and had more chemistry even when Angel was there. He could also read her like a book and called them out for hiding their feelings. And then, one of the first instances of Buffy realizing Spike could see through her, she includes him in her speech to Angel and mentions she could hide from everyone except herself and Spike.

It's telling that the next time he shows up, they act like awkward exes and sized each other's dates up and again, bickered. Even Parker was confused and thought they were exes. Again Spike showed he had the uncanny ability to read her, and attacked her with words that really hurt.

Season 4 can be summed up by Buffy again helping Spike out and not killing him over and over. And flirting with him. And realizing they had chemistry when they were under the spell. Notice how in Superstar you could also see her attraction when Spike was carressing her face. Yes, they were under a spell but the spell didn't make her attracted to Spike.

And then there's Season 5 where she showed time and time again that she trusted him even when she kept saying she didn't. How many times did she approach him for help and trust him with her family? Every time Spike did something unexpected it gradually added to whatever trust and positive feelings she had that she wouldn't admit. When she and Riley argued about his strength and how she wanted someone strong, she brought up SPIKE of all people and said if she wanted someone Superpowered she would date Spike (newsflash: she did want someone like that lol). She allowed him to comfort her in Fool for Love. She could have eventually staked him for bringing a shotgun and obviously planning to shoot her. In the same episode when she told him she would NEVER trust him, she took his mother and sister to him for protection and didn't even offer money - she just KNEW he would keep them safe. He challenged her in a lot of ways too and called her out when she kept using him as a punching bag when she was really angry about herself - like when Dawn went to him in Blood Ties and they found out she was the key, and she was angry at him but realized he was right. And the fact that Spike trying to kill her multiple times did not get him disinvited from her house for YEARS but the moment she found out he was in love with her, it wigged her out to the point that she finally did it. When he allowed himself to be tortured for her and her sister, she KISSED him. It was instinct. It was something her body and heart told her to do. When earlier that episode she was afraid she couldn't feel anything anymore, he TOUCHED her heart enough to get that reaction. And then started really leaning on him and trusting him more after that, and he was the one she asked to protect Dawn in the finale because she knew he would die trying. So I'd say her feelings really started in Intervention but she was already attracted and drawn to him prior to that.

But love.. is even more difficult to pinpoint lol. He made her feel alive in S6 despite the toxicity of their relationship. She kept denying she loved him but was hurt and jealous when he was with other women. She was even affected when she found out he left town. Again it's just very complicated because even if she did love him, she couldn't allow herself to because of who he was and because she was depressed and couldn't really love and didn't want to be loved.

So I'd say she tried not to love him in S6 but was starting to and she actually allowed herself to love him in S7 which you can see in her actions.

[murglor]

Hey, buddy, I'm not the one who decided you needed to issue an apology for being antagonistic - that was all you. I assume some level of self awareness was involved. Was the apology insincere or something? But let's talk tags first, then the rest.

1. Villainous personal traits. Yes, Azula has positive/heroic traits. She's loyal to her father and takes her duties and responsibilities incredibly seriously. She leads from the front and she doesn't ask her subordinates to do anything she isn't willing to do herself in terms of facing danger. She's clever, she's adaptable, she treats non-benders as valued allies (if on her side) and significant threats (if not). She's a whole lot less likely to rage out and yell at people than Zuko is, at least until she suffers a psychotic break. She's hard working. She's insightful. She uses the bare minimum of force that will achieve her goals, all of which (with one very notable exception) seem to be to advance the cause of her father/nation.

Note that I'm talking about positive traits (and not her flaws) because they don't align with her villainous role. If she had been raised (indoctrinated) into Air Nomad culture and values, her loyalty and sense of duty would be good things; sadly, she employs them towards an evil cause (the Fire Nation's war of imperialist conquest) because that's her political alignment and how she was raised.

2. Anti-villain. You acknowledge I defined it properly, you just don't appear to be aware of any of the nuance in her character. Has Azula ever said or done anything that suggests she doesn't believe (per the propaganda with which she was raised) that the Fire Nation's benevolent rule is the best thing possible for those under it? (Unlike Zuko, who has actually been out of the FN before, explored the Air Temples, and expresses that he doesn't buy into FN propaganda in Season 1) And the one time Azula defies her father, it's to ignore her orders (bring back Iroh and Zuko, alive or dead) and find a way to bring Zuko home as a hero who will win their father's esteem. She doesn't want the throne, and only talks about the glory of the Fire Nation, never personal glory. She just wants to make her dad happy with her and bring her brother home (and, possibly, avoid having Ozai burn off her face, though how much Zuko's scarring and banishment drive her perfectionist and obedience is never explicit).

3. Azula doing all of the emotional labor in her relationship with Zuko. (Note that this is typical of all his relationships, especially with women.) She warns Zuko about Azulon's demand that Ozai kill him; she reassures him that he's restored his own honor; she warns him that seeking out Iroh could be misinterpreted; she answers questions he asks her (about Sozin); she tries to cheer him up and include him in things at Ember Island.

You seem to be fooled by what Azula says, rather than looking at her actual choices. Zuko has his mantra that Azula always lies, but his examples (from Zuko alone) are only ever of her telling the truth. Azula's lie is the one she tells about her own motivations - she's tough and strong and independent and cruel and doesn't have human frailties. That's why she laughs off her own insecurities about her mother's affection on the beach, and it's why even at age 8 or 9 she can't express concern for Zuko and instead delivers the warning by taunting him. (You see throughout Zuko Alone that she's parroting Ozai.) It's why apologizing to Ty Lee and admitting she was jealous is such a huge character beat for Azula - the Beach is the only time we get behind her mask and see her vulnerabilities and awkwardness before Sozin's Comet.

And yes, I get that the show's narrative (musically, in how shots are framed, in adopting Zuko's perspective, etc.) promotes the idea that Azula mistreated Zuko, just like it promotes Zuko having been redeemed. But it's Zuko, not Azula, that we see throw a loaf of bread directly at a duck. And Zuko's angry, violent behavior towards even his allies is just the same in Sozin's Comet (Part I) as at the beginning of Season 1. Sometimes Avatar doesn't do a great job of telling you the same thing as it is showing you. Sometimes Avatar seems to lose track of what it's told you, and shows you things that are directly contradictory. Like how Zuko learned the true source of fire-bending, and that he's not using anger anymore - then never bends when he doesn't appear angry after that episode.

guys I'm sorry for saying some antagonistic things recently in my posts/reblogs/replies but in my defense people don't have media literacy and I don't have the ability to tolerate it

[deadpoetsandlivinglegends]

Peter Weir: ok this is the big finale and probably the most important moment in Todd’s whole story, showing the audience his growth from the shy awkward kid who couldn’t speak in class or participate in anything into this changed person

Ethan Hawke: don’t worry, I got this

Ethan Hawke: 🧍

[zevranunderstander]

im all in the "sex scenes can further the plot in really interesting ways" crowd, and i think one thing sex scenes are amazing for is exploring how a specific character handles intimacy and vulnerability and stuff, but so often in video games they just suck so bad and not just for the reason that its awkward to watch 2 animated meshes have clunkily animated sex, but also because they do actually really do nothing for the story because they are usually either just one set of animations that is interchangeably used no matter what character you are romancing or the character you are romancing acts completely different than they usually do, as not to turn off players who are romancing a character for a spicy sex scene

[sttoru]

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒. dad!toji x wife!reader. fluff, just pure fluff. reader gets called ‘doll’ once.

toji sits on the edge of megumi’s bed, arms casually draped over his knees, watching with an amused grin as you fuss over your son. you’re lecturing him about being more careful when playing with the other kids at daycare, replacing the bandages on his arms that had gotten scuffed from a tumble.

megumi sulks, his little face scrunched up, but he doesn’t dare to say a word. his gaze is cast downward and he knows better than to challenge you when you’re in your ‘mom’ mode.

toji chuckles to himself. the little brat—just like his old man, he thinks. neither of them ever have the guts to talk back when you’re laying down the law.

with a lazy smirk, toji reaches over and ruffles megumi’s hair in an affectionate and teasing way. “it's fine, doll,” he says in attempt to reassure you, “shit happens. ‘n it toughens up the kid.”

you shoot him a look over your shoulder and toji just shrugs. “he’s just like you, ya know,” you mutter as you brush a stray lock of hair from megumi's face. indeed, the little boy resembles his father in looks but also in personality. “stubborn, hard-headed. thinks he can take on the world without a scratch,” you sigh.

on one hand, you’re worried that megumi will get in real trouble one day because of it. but on the other hand, your son got an overprotective man as father. you know he will never let any harm befall either of you.

toji raises an eyebrow at your comment. oh, he knows and he’s proud of it. proud of his son, of the family he's created with you. “i mean—he needs to learn to take a few hits if he's gonna survive this world.”

you scoff before hugging megumi one last time. “mm, mama,” the toddler snuggles up to you, small hands clutching your shirt tightly. you feel the weight of his tiny form press against you while his cheek rests against your chest.

there’s something about the clingy way he holds you that melts something deep inside you. you press a gentle kiss to his messy hair, brushing a hand down his back as you breathe in the sweet, comforting scent of his shampoo.

“good night, sweets,” you murur, your voice barely above a whisper. “i love you.”

megumi’s small fingers tighten once more on your shirt as if reluctant to let go. his breathing is steady and you know he’s almost asleep. but then, your son shifts lightly. he pulls back from the hug enough to look up at toji, who’s leaning back against the headboard of the bed. he doesn't say a word, but there’s a clear look of expectation on his face, as though he's waiting for something only his dad can give.

toji meets his gaze with a blank expression that doesn’t give away a thing. he's clueless for a good couple seconds before picking up on what megumi wants.

your husband murmurs something incoherent before relenting. “yeah yeah, c'mere buddy,” he hums, his tone softening. he can't help it—even if he tries not to show the vulnerability in his demeanour.

“yay,” megumi's face brightens up a little and he eagerly reaches up with those tiny hands. toji pulls the kid into his arms, hugging him tighter than expected. the action is a little awkward, but there's no denying the warmth in it.

your heart melts as you witness the adorable scene before you. your son doesn’t seem to mind the tightness as his small arms encircle his father’s neck. it’s a simple moment between father and son, but it’s enough. enough for both of them.

toji pulls back after a little while. his eyes are softer than usual as he pinches megumi's button nose. “good night, kiddo,” he mutters, the words rough but warm, “don't let the bedbugs bite.”

megumi grins sleepily at him as he rubs his eyes. “i’ll kick their ass, papa,” he declares proudly, looking and acting more like his dad with the second. you roll your eyes and stand up from the bed. toji simply snorts, realising his son has picked up on the phrases he uses.

“tha’s right,” your husband nods after standing next to you, “you tell ‘em bedbugs to eat shi—”

“toji ,” you shush him with a swat to the bicep.

megumi lets out a small giggle in reply before laying back on his pillows. you pull the covers up to his chin and watch as his eyes slowly close, his body beginning to relax. the quiet rhythm of his breathing is the only sign of him settling down for the night.

toji lingers by the door and is simply content to watch you. you're always like this—so nurturing. he follows your every move as you leave a final kiss to your son’s cheek. the warmth that radiates in your presence, your affection, the simple yet tender moments are all things that make him fall in love with you over and over again.

you straighten up and turn towards toji, catching him staring. you can see the warmth in his eyes, the way his shoulders are completely relaxed, how that signature smirk of his seems more like a smile in that moment.

you chuckle to yourself before stepping out into the hallway, leaving the door slightly ajar. toji follows with his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants. the silence hangs between you two for a bit. it’s comforting and. . . secure.

“y’know, you’re a real softie, toji,” you comment to break the quiet atmosphere. you tilt your head back to look at the dark-haired man who’s now next to you. you know he still struggles with being vulnerable around your son. the sentimentality is still an aspect he's working on.

however, you see it; the emotional side of him. the warmth in his eyes, in his touch, in his words - even if he’s not all that soft spoken.

you can see right through him.

“don't worry though. your secret's safe with me,” you tease with a soft grin.

toji doesn’t say a word for a few seconds before he chuckles under his breath, “just keep that between us, aye?” he responds to your teasing. he’s just glad that he’s married a woman who understands him and accepts him as is.

you both head to the living room. the weight of your day finally seems to lift. the quiet house and the soft breaths of megumi drifting from his room, feels like the calm after a storm. there are challenges ahead, no doubt, but for now everything is alright.

toji wraps his muscular arm around your shoulders as you both sink into the couch. the television playing something in the background, but neither of you pay it much attention. you lean against him and sigh, eyes closing slowly.

“you think he's gonna… turn out okay?” you ask softly. you’re not really sure how to word your worries. your voice holds an uncertainity that causes toji to hold you tighter.

your husband doesn't answer right away. instead, he glances down at you and strokes your hair with his free hand. he nods and presses a chaste kiss to your forehead.

toji leans his head back afterwards, closing his own eyes. no matter what the future holds, he's sure megumi will grow up to be a strong young man.

“yeah. that kid’s gonna be alright.”

[a-mint-bear]

Comfort Object

Male Yandere x Reader

You see a really weird "job" post online, and the money seems too good to be true. But you aren't really in a position where you can turn it down...

You hope it doesn't get weird.

Parts: [ x / 2 / 3 ]

---

It was a very… concerning “job” posting.

But desperate times, and all that. 

It had shown up about a week ago, and it wasn’t hard to see why no one had taken the poster up on it as of yet. 

Bedmate Needed

● 11 pm to 6 am

● $25/hour up front

● Riverside Motel

● Room 44

● Not a sex thing

The last note seemed tacked on in a later edit, but it was still… not great.

You’d have to be either a gullible idiot or a desperate one to go for a job like this. Unfortunately, you were the latter. Very much so.

You couldn’t take another night on the street. It was getting so cold out. The promise of a warm bed was almost enough to lure you in on its own. But the money… 175 bucks just to sleep in the same bed as some internet creep?

Despite the clarification in the post, this had to be a sex thing, right?

You hadn’t gone that far, despite everything. It’s not like you hadn’t considered it… but the thought was too terrifying. Making yourself completely vulnerable to a stranger that could just decide you were less than a person and do whatever they wanted to you? You had to draw the line somewhere.

But at this point, you weren’t sure that there was a line you weren’t willing to cross anymore. 

. . .

The Motel wasn’t the seediest you’d ever seen around town but it wasn’t a place you would’ve voluntarily stayed at even two months ago. Back when you had options. 

Creepy post guy opened the door after a couple of knocks, with an awkward, pregnant pause between them. He wasn’t quite what you expected for an internet creep, but he was still a sight to see.

Really bad posture and dark, greasy-looking hair, with the darkest circles under his eyes you’d ever seen. He looked like he was about to pass out at any second, but he held it together long enough to gesture you into the room. 

“Hey…” His voice was low but he sounded nervous. And so, so tired. “You’re… You’re a little early. That’s…that’s fine. Uh, come in.”

You felt his eyes on you as you passed him, and it didn’t help your anxiousness. Not one bit. 

“Hey so, I-I really…I uh, need a shower.” He stumbled over his words with a breathy, nervous laugh. “Unless you wanna sleep next to a… fuckin’ sweaty mess all night. Do you wanna go first or…?”

You must’ve looked nervous because his eyes went wider, digging into his pocket.

“I wasn’t tryin’ to… Oh, uh…here.” He nodded, pressing the money into your hand. “Up front, just… just like I said. You just…just seemed like you maybe sorta needed one too.”

Some part of you must’ve still had an ounce of pride left because your whole body felt on fire with shame, embarrassment so consuming that you froze up. It had been a couple of days…

He just looked away, seeming like he was embarrassed himself. 

“I w-wasn’t gonna like… try to join you or peep on you or nothin’!” He tried to assure you, eyes darting in a panic and talking a bit too fast. “If I, like, go first? I won’t get mad if you change your mind and leave… I get it. I’m not gonna like… go after you or call the cops or nothin’ like that. I just…”

He stared at the floor, nails digging into his arm as he seemed like he was having trouble breathing.

“I really… I really need this.” He was so quiet, but his voice was so desperate.

You couldn’t really be considering this, could you?

He seemed more like a weird, awkward, sad guy than a real danger or some kind of pervert.

And you really did need a hot shower. 

It seemed like a safer bet to have him go first, if you were really going through with this. And it would give you a chance to look around the room for a spot to tuck away your pocket knife, just in case.

When he was in the shower, you did just that. The spot between the mattress and bed frame would be easy to grab at if things got hinky.

If things got all touchy-feely, as you suspected they would, him finding that on you or leaving it in your pocket when your clothes got tossed wherever would be really inconvenient. 

Steam rolled out of the bathroom when he stepped out, shirtless but with sweatpants and a towel around his neck. He was thin, almost alarmingly so, but you could still see muscle, enough to pose a problem should he decide to overpower you.

This was your last chance to back out, before you’d be vulnerable to this odd stranger.

But even if you left, the money wouldn’t last long, and it’s not like you had any other options. 

You were so grateful that the motel tub wasn’t disgusting, but you would’ve gotten clean regardless. Two days worth of sweat and funk was washed away and it felt so heavenly… But it was hard to relax when you were trying to stay hyper alert of any noise that could be that man trying to get in or even eavesdrop.

But…

Nothing. 

You finished your shower and brushed your teeth, doing everything you could to feel clean that a motel bathroom could provide. And there was no sign of the guy. 

But you had to go back out there eventually. You supposed you could lock yourself in here and get a full night’s sleep indoors, even if it was on the floor of a motel bathroom with your back against the door, but part of you just said “fuck it” and warily peeked around the doorway into the bedroom.

The lights in the room were dim, but warm. He was sitting on the end of the bed, one knee tucked into his chest, staring at the tv as the bright colors of a nightly talk show reflected in his eyes, but something told you he wasn’t really watching. His eyes met yours and you froze.

“It’s almost eleven…” He mumbled, his head resting awkwardly on his shoulder. His hand ghosted over the spot on the bed next to him. “… Will... will you stay?”

So many thoughts raced through your head. What would happen if you laid down beside him? You could probably deal with sex… even if it felt a bit wrong. But if he wanted to hurt you?

Your brain reminded you:

What do you really have to lose?

When you told him you would stay, sitting next to him, you could see him relax. Just a bit.

“If you still want to leave-”

But you cut him off, almost afraid he would talk you out of it after you’d made up your mind.

Avoiding his stare, you told him you had nowhere to go.

The bed was cold, it might take a bit to warm up with the two of you in it, but it was the least of your concerns at that moment. 

“So it’s...” He’d spoken up so suddenly, you hoped he didn’t see you flinch. He was staring at the ceiling, seeming just a tiny bit calmer. “... it’s fine if you just… lay there or h-hold onto me, or play on your phone or whatever, anything is fine. Just… just don’t leave ‘til mornin’. Okay?”

A worrying pause, but you told him you understood.

And that was that. He laid next to you unmoving for almost an hour before you had the nerve to move at all, shifting slowly to your side to face him.

His eyes were shut, his breathing even, but somehow you knew he was still awake. It was like he was trying to sleep but it just wasn’t coming to him. He looked so worn down, like he could just keel over any second. It definitely made him less intimidating, but you weren’t letting your guard down, no matter how much your body was screaming at you to just let go.

Despite your better judgement, you wondered if he really was being genuine about this not being a sex thing. It was a relief, sure, but it just raised more questions.

Why were you here?

. . .

You’d stopped looking at the bedside clock a while ago. It had to have been hours by then.

Your anxiety and dread somehow felt quieter under the lull of impending sleep. Despite everything, your body was at least grateful for a warm bed and hot shower, and if you didn’t sleep there now, you didn’t know when you’d be able to sleep somewhere warm any time soon. 

Every moment that ticked by, you felt your resolve slipping. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad, just to let go… This whole situation was weird, but you just wanted to sleep.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He hoped against everything that he would just fall asleep.

Just this once, he didn’t want to have to follow through with it. But he was so damn tired. There was this ache behind his eyes that he could feel in his bones, his mind never stopped racing… 

He could feel your body heat in the bed next to him. You had either been very scared or very considerate, you’d only moved once since you laid down with him. 

He hated that he had to do this. He felt sorry for you, he really did. But it was drowned out by the buzzing in the back of his brain. The constant whispers in his ear. 

There had been so many before now, it was a miracle he hadn’t gotten caught. But this was a huge, dangerous city. Everyone in it was just a blip to anyone paying attention. 

He could feel their skin under his palms buzzing at the back of his brain. How their eyes stared into his, burning with betrayal, fear, helplessness. How he saw them fade away.

How it was the only thing that worked to let him finally sleep. The only thing that quieted the whispers, at least for a little bit. 

Some booked it after getting the money. Some just showed up and straight-up robbed him. Some tried to leave in the middle of the night, thinking he was asleep. But if they stayed and fell asleep, that was that.

He told himself that he gave them all a chance. 

If you managed to stay up all night, you’d be safe. But he really needed this… It was already day three, and he’d never made it past day five without completely losing it. Trying to fight this, it was too hard. The longer he stayed awake, trying to avoid what had to happen, the worse he felt. The louder the voice got. The deeper the ache in his bones. But the more often he did it, the easier it got. And that was worse in a different way. 

It was wrong. He wasn’t so deep in it that he couldn’t see that. The morning after, he always hated himself and what he did. 

But as the days went on, it would all creep back in. And doing it again felt less and less horrifying to him. 

You were scared. He could tell. And you had every reason to be, he told himself. But it just meant it would take you longer to fall asleep. 

He could wait all night. And if you made it the full seven hours, you weren’t what he needed. You’d be free from him, from this. Hopefully you wouldn’t come back, no matter how badly you needed the money.

He wondered what you meant by having nowhere to go.

But he tried not to wonder too much. It would make this harder. 

He could hear your breathing getting slower, your body relaxing into the bed. You wouldn’t last much longer. 

His eyes shot open when he felt you suddenly touch him, tucking your forehead into his shoulder. You weren’t quite asleep, a cuddler? He almost laughed to himself when half-asleep you looked a bit frustrated, like it wasn’t enough.

You muttered something about being cold, lazily scooting your body closer to him up the bed. He felt his breath catch when suddenly, his head was pulled to you, tucked into your chest as your arm circled him. He was suddenly the little spoon, but facing you. He could hear your heartbeat. 

He wanted to say something, wake you up or wriggle free to make what he had to do easier on you when you fell asleep. He felt a hand in his hair, playing with it and idle gentle nails on his scalp. 

It was… nice. Everything felt calm, the buzzing and horrible thoughts were still there but they were being drowned out by the warmth of your skin, the thump of your heart in his ear.

You were mumbling something. He held his breath, trying to hear.

You told him, or whoever you were dreaming about, maybe even no one at all, that he was okay. That he was safe. 

He couldn’t keep his eyes open. Something was different this time. He felt all his control slipping away, and for once, he wasn’t scared. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You woke to a sunbeam across your face, and the strange man in your arms, sound asleep. According to your phone, it was 10 am. You were grateful for the extra hours in a warm bed, but would he be mad? Did he have somewhere to be?

You couldn’t remember anything past drifting off next to him, but the two of you were tangled together, he seemed so comfortable.

Now that it was over, and your anxieties were much quieter, you really got a good look at the guy. He wasn’t… unattractive, you supposed. He was all elbows and ribs but laying against your chest made him look so soft and harmless. 

Wasn’t the worst way you’d ever made 175 bucks.

You wondered if he’d shell out the extra 100, or if that would be pushing your luck. 

Either way, it would be best to wake him up.

Gently scratching at his scalp, you told him it was getting late.

You watched as his eyes struggled to open, and for a few calm moments, he just laid against you. After a beat, he gasped and jolted up, head swiveling around the room in a panic.

“I…” He seemed really out of it, almost scared. “I actually…”

He stared at you, eyes wide. You told him it was ten in the morning, hoping everything was okay and if it wasn’t, that he wouldn’t take it out on you.

He grabbed you by the shoulders, and for a moment you were sure something bad was going to happen, but somehow, it was even worse.

He was crying.

Breaking down, sobbing hard as he just kept staring at you. Even with the odd night you’d just had, this was somehow the weirdest part. 

Despite yourself, you asked him if he was okay. He pulled himself together and you were startled again when he touched your face, his thumb gently grazing your cheek. It was tender and sweet, and it was freaking you out a little. Just a tad. 

“You… It was you…”

All you could think to ask was if you should get going, maybe trying to make it seem like you had someplace to be, or were at least trying to be considerate of his time. But it didn’t seem like he was taking the hint. 

He grabbed your hands in his, the sudden contact made you jump. He pulled them to his chest, he was too close. The way he was looking at you…

“Can we… Can we do this again? Like tonight? Please?” He was practically begging, the look in his eyes changing. That nervous, achingly tired gaze was hopeful. And so warm.

“You can have the room, if that’s what you need!” he offered, maybe somehow having picked up on your current situation. “I can pay more too. Just p-please…”

He held your palm to his cheek, staring up at you.

“I need you.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

a bit of a different one from me, but i kind of liked how it turned out

that feeling when your new yandere was totally gonna off you but you were just too comfy

he's never gonna let you go. you're the only thing keepin him from killing again, ya know?

i don't have a ton of yanderes that actually kill, as odd as that seems. but this guy is one of them

he's not supposed to be a huge commentary on any particular mental health conditions, i did a bit of "research" into psychosis induced insomnia (using that term VERY loosely), but like does he hear voices because he can't sleep, or can he not sleep because he hears voices? who can say? certainly not I, the dummy who made him

i wrote this one pretty much right after my last big deadline ended, but it got reworked a bit cause it just needed some tweaks:

the yandere started out as tired but crass, kind of a dick, and when he switched after that good night's sleep it felt off. It felt more interesting if he was a bit pathetic and creepy, it felt like less of a red flag for the reader to stick around

the reader was originally going to be a straight up s*x worker that got hired by the yandere for him to kill, but it didn't really feel like my place to make that commentary on violence against s*x workers or to more or less soften it with a yandere love interest. it just didn't feel right for something so unserious

but ive been having horrible writer's block lately, so i thought i'd finally put this one out. i need to read/play some yandere stuff and get inspired. let me know if you have any recommendations y'all ✌️

[luna-azzurra]

Body Language Cheat Sheet For Writers 

╰ Facial expressions

These are your micro-signals, like the blinking neon signs of the soul. But they’re small, quick, and often lie harder than words.

Raised eyebrows — This can mean surprise or disbelief, sure. But it can also be a full-on, silent “Are you serious right now?” when someone’s being ridiculous. Or even curiosity when someone’s too emotionally repressed to askthe damn question.

Furrowed brow — That face people make when they’re doing long division in their head or trying to emotionally process a compliment. It’s thinking, yes—but also confusion, deep frustration, or quiet simmering rage.

Smiling — Can be happiness… or total fake-it-till-you-make-it energy. Some smiles are stiff. Some don’t reach the eyes. Show that.

Frowning — Sure, sadness. But also: disappointment, judgment, or the universal “I’m about to say something blunt, brace yourself.”

Lip biting — It’s not just nervousness, it’s pressure. Self-control. Anticipation. It’s the thing people do when they want to say something and decide, at the last second, not to.

╰ Eye movement

The window to the soul? Yeah. But also the window to when someone’s lying, flirting, or deeply trying not to cry in public.

Eye contact — Confidence or challenge. Eye contact can be gentle, curious, sharp like a blade. Sometimes it’s desperate: “Please understand me.”

Avoiding eye contact — Not always guilt. Sometimes it’s protectiveness. Sometimes it’s “I’m afraid if I look at you, you’ll see everything I’m trying to hide.”

Narrowed eyes — Calculating. Suspicious. The look someone gives when their brain’s saying “hmmm...” and it’s not a good hmm.

Wide eyes — Surprise, yes. But also sudden fear. The oh-God-it’s-happening look. Or when someone just found out they’re not as in control as they thought.

Eye roll — Classic. But try using it with tension, like when someone’s annoyed and trying very hard not to lose it in public.

╰ Gestures

This is where characters’ emotions go when their mouths are lying.

Crossing arms — Not just defensive. Sometimes it’s comfort. A self-hug. A barrier when the conversation is getting too personal.

Fidgeting — This is nervous energy with nowhere to go. Watch fingers tapping, rings spinning, sleeves tugged. It says: I’m not okay, but I’m trying not to show it.

Pointing — It’s a stab in the air. Aggressive, usually. But sometimes a desperate plea: Look. Understand this.

Open palms — Vulnerability. Honesty. Or a gesture that says, “I have nothing left to hide.”

Hand on chin — Not just thinking. It’s stalling. It’s delaying. It’s “I’m about to say something that might get me in trouble.”

╰ Posture and movement

These are your vibes. How someone occupies space says everything.

Slumped shoulders — Exhaustion. Defeat. Or someone trying to take up less space because they feel small.

Upright posture — Not always confidence. Sometimes it’s forced. Sometimes it’s a character trying really, really hard to look like they’re fine.

Pacing — Inner chaos externalized. Thinking so loudly it needs movement. Waiting for something. Running from your own thoughts.

Tapping foot — Tension. Irritation. Sometimes a buildup to an explosion.

Leaning in — Intimacy. Interest. Or subtle manipulation. (You matter to me. I’m listening. Let’s get closer.)

╰ Touch

This is intimacy in all its forms, comforting, protective, romantic, or invasive.

Hugging — Doesn’t always mean closeness. Could be a goodbye. Could be an apology they can’t say out loud. Could be awkward as hell.

Handshake — Stiff or crushing or slippery. How someone shakes hands says more than their words do.

Back patting — Casual warmth. Bro culture. Awkward emotional support when someone doesn’t know how to comfort but wants to try.

Clenched fists — Holding something in. Rage, tears, restraint. Fists mean tension that needs somewhere to go.

Hair tuck — Sure, flirtation or nerves. But also a subtle shield. A way to hide. A habit from childhood when someone didn’t want to be seen.

╰ Mirroring:

If two characters start syncing their body language, something is happening. Empathy. Chemistry. Shared grief. If someone shifts their body when the other does? Take notice. Other human bits that say everything without words...

Nodding — Not just yes. Could be an “I hear you,” even if they don’t agree. Could be the “keep going” nod. Could be patronizing if done too slow.

Crossed legs — Chill. Casual. Or closed-off, depending on context. Especially if their arms are crossed too.

Finger tapping — Time is ticking. Brain is pacing. Something’s coming.

Hand to chest — Sincerity, yes. But also shock. Or grounding—a subconscious attempt to stay present when everything feels like too much.

Tilting the head — Curiosity. Playfulness. Or someone listening so hard they forget to hide it.

Temple rub — “I can’t deal.” Could be physical pain. Could be stress. Could be emotional overload in disguise.

Chin stroking — Your classic “I’m judging you politely.” Often used in arguments between characters pretending to be calm.

Hands behind the back — Authority. Control. Or rigid fear masked as control.

Leaning body — This is the body betraying the brain. A tilt toward someone means they care—even if their words are cold.

Nail biting — Classic anxiety. But also habit. Something learned. Sometimes people bite because that’s how they self-soothe.

Squinting — Focusing. Doubting. Suspicion without confrontation.

Shifting weight — Uncomfortable. Unsure. Someone who wants to leave but doesn’t.

Covering the mouth — Guilt. Hesitation. The “should I say this?” moment before something big drops.

Body language is more honest than dialogue. If you really want to show your character’s internal world, don’t just give them lines. Give them a hand that won’t stop shaking. Give them a foot that won’t stop bouncing. Give them a mouth that smiles when their eyes don’t. And if you’re not sure what your character would do in a moment of fear, or love, or heartbreak, try acting it out yourself. Seriously. Get weird. Feel what your body does. Then write that down.

[astrow1zar6]

Astro Observations~ 46

Mars conjunct venus individuals can easily swing from being the sexiest in the room to their most obnoxious.

Uranus square Venus natives are so confused romantically lol. I’ve seen their relationships be very on & off cuz one minute they are in love the next they feel nothing & are detached. Their feelings for you go from hot to cold. If you value stability in your relationships these are not the people for you lol.

A lot of people with Mars square Venus in their natal can be big cheaters. In my observation I notice it’s difficult for them to be loyal or only mess with one person.

Moon in Scorpio men are super prideful. They’ll lose you before they come off as vulnerable or “weak” to someone. They act like they don’t have feelings but will lose their shit if you actually leave😂 I also notice they are usually super monogamous. Even if they act like they don’t like you if they see you flirting with someone else all hell will break loose 😭 they do not play about that. Deep down they can need as much attention as a Leo moon they’re just more embarrassed to ask for attention.

Taurus mars men usually prefer a conventional type of partner. They can go for a more housewife type of woman.

Mars/Venus in Libras do not know what to do with themselves when they are single. They can be big serial daters.

Moon in Libras i notice tend to have flatter faces.

Heavy Venus in the chart can give the native big anime/doe eyes. Also they have the BEST smiles everrrr💕

Cancer moons tend to take longer to move out of their parent’s house than most I notice. They will live with their parents till they’re like 30 I swear😭.

Aries moons are super outgoing but I notice they enjoy being alone & doing things alone rather than with others. They are super independent.

Capricorn moons tend to have a harder time in their romantic relationships. It’s harder for them to show affection openly which can make their partners think they aren’t that into them.

Mars in Geminis are always on the go. If ADHD was a placement it would be mars in Gemini. They need constant mental stimulation or they can get very depressed & self destructive. They are more likely to have multiple jobs/hobbies. It’s super hard to link with these people cuz they stay busy. Be careful not to neglect important relationships because of your restlessness.

Jupiter trine ascendant gives the native a very healthy strong body.

Venus conjunct ascendant in the first house are obsessed with their appearance. Sometimes to their detriment. Gives an amazing body shape usually.

Gemini Venuses love getting their nails done. Anything that draws attention to their hands such as rings, finger tats, acrylics ect.

The most annoying underdeveloped moon sign imo is Leo. These people can be so childish when immature.

Mars in the 3rd house people usually get in trouble for speeding. Driving fast calms them down a lot.

Mars in the 8th house I read somewhere can give a very painful death ( not to scare any of you guys😭).

Uranus in the 12th house people hide their quirks to fit in usually. They have really original eccentric personalities deep down yet most are forced to act basic.

Sun in the 1st house people can become big narcissists when insecure.

Saturn in the 7th house people could’ve been used to others calling them a “buzz kill” or “too serious”. They also tend to find humor in bullying? Like mean people are hilarious to them. I think that’s a big Saturn thing in general they love “mean humor”.

Saturn in the 5th house people could’ve been judged heavily for expressing their personalities. Usually these people are super talented but it was usually shut down by others from a young age due to jealousy. This is why they can grow up being very robotic. They are also very awkward when it comes to crushes and love until much older. Could be the last one in their friend group to get married/lose their virginity.

Moon in the 7th house people tend to marry pretty early.

A lot of people on the autism spectrum have heavy Aquarius in their chart. ESPECIALLY moon in Aquarius.

Having a grand square in your natal chart can be SOOO exhausting! You are constantly being forced to evolve and grow. This gives an opposite effect from the grand trine. With the grand trine things flow to them naturally & talents come very naturally but they can be very lazy with it. However grand squares usually have to work extra hard to achieve success, nothing comes easy for them unfortunately. When you surrender to laziness with a grand square it can completely ruin your life & make you 10 steps behind everyone. It forces you to overcome any laziness.

Best sex I’ve ever experienced with mars signs have to be TAURUS, Capricorn, Virgo & Aries. I feel like people are gonna come for my throat cuz I didn’t add Scorpio mars but I honestly think their sex can be overrated. They are just big horn dogs.

Virgo placements especially the sun and Venus tend to stay virgins longer than most. They don’t need physical affection as much as most placements (especially Venus in Virgo). They’re more into the mental aspects of love.

Your biggest crush probably has a lot of 5th house overlays with you. Especially (sun,moon, venus & mars).

12th house synastry can either be your soulmate or the most traumatic experience you’ll ever have with a person.. no in between.

Leo suns with a Venus in Libra tends to have SO MANY CRUSHES.

Moon/Venus in Pisces have terrible boundaries.

It’s easy to get along with someone who has their sun in the same sign as your Venus (also trine). It’s very difficult to stay made at them for too long, you tend to view each other with rose colored glasses.

On the other hand, Mars square Venus synastry can make you annoyed with eachother easily (especially as the Venus person). Every time I had this with someone as the Venus person I genuinely found them so annoying & corny lol. Theirs this bizarre sexual tension however that can make things kinda awkward especially in a friendship. The mars person tries too hard and can be too aggressive in trying to get the Venus persons attention to a point where it’s a turn off. Timing in general is usually off (eg; one can like the other when the other isn’t interested then it can switch where the one who wasn’t interested becomes interested then the other loses interest😭).

Aries risings tend to have bigger foreheads (ex; Rihanna). They also tend to have a very good head for being bald or having pixie cuts. Their heads are usually really well shaped.

Taurus placements (especially moon & sun) can struggle hygiene wise when they are depressed. Like forgetting to shower or going days without brushing their teeth or hair.

Cancer suns can either be extremely corny humor wise or be the funniest people in the room. A lot of comedians & YouTubers have cancer suns.

Mars in pisces are usually amazing singers/dancers.

Aries sun men tend to be more interested in a person when they act like they don’t like them lol. This can also be true with Venus in Aries.

Cancers love when people open up to them emotionally/vent to them. It gives them pleasure to nurture others.

Neptune in the 1st house people tend to look like a different person every time you see them. One change to their appearance such as changing hair color, or different makeup/clothes and completely alter what they look like. The definition of shape shifters.

Moon in Geminis love experimenting with different looks/aesthetics. These people are also lowkey shape shifters as well. They can also be addicted to dying their hair lol. ESPECIALLY during mental breakdowns!

Saturn positively aspecting Venus in synastry are real Ride or Dies. It hard for you guys to leave eachother alone (especially Saturn). These people can heal past relationship trauma together🥺 i see this aspect in a lot of married couples. Saturn/venus aspects are really the glue to a relationship. Even if you have great chemistry/synastry with someone such as Sun/moon, mars/venus, Pluto/venus it will fizzle out fast if their isn’t enough Saturn influence.

[solxamber]

How about a request where Octa trio and idia (seperate) end up drunkenly confessing they have a crush on the reader during a moment where readers helping em + the aftermath of them realizing when sober and hung over and reacting to the situation? Feel free to delete or ignore! just had thought it could be fun

Drunken Confessions with: Octatrio + Idia

a/n: sorry for the long wait, i hope you like it <3

Azul Ashengrotto

Azul rarely let himself slip, and by slip, you meant this. He staggered, his weight shifting heavily against your side as you supported him on the walk back to Mostro Lounge. His normally polished demeanor was gone, replaced by flushed cheeks, glassy eyes, and a faint, almost imperceptible slur in his words.

“Y-You’re…hic…so nice,” he mumbled, leaning more into you than he probably intended. “Why’re you so nice to me?”

You adjusted your hold, an amused grin tugging at your lips. “Maybe because someone has to make sure you don’t faceplant on the cobblestones, Azul.”

He blinked up at you, a soft, dopey smile crossing his face. “You’re funny. And good looking… so pretty.”

You stopped walking for a moment, looking down at him in surprise. “Are you sure you’re not hallucinating?”

“No, no, no,” he said quickly, waving his hand in what he probably thought was a convincing argument. “I’m serious! I… I think about you all the time. You’re… you’re perfect.”

Your heart skipped a beat. Azul Ashengrotto, perfectionist extraordinaire and self-proclaimed businessman, was rambling about how great you were while leaning heavily on your shoulder. You felt your cheeks heat up, but you brushed it off as the effects of the alcohol loosening his tongue.

“You can thank me when you’re sober, Mr. Compliment Machine,” you teased, continuing your trek toward his dorm.

But Azul wasn’t done. “I mean it!” he insisted, nearly tripping over his own feet. You quickly steadied him, and he looked up at you, his eyes uncharacteristically vulnerable. “I… I like you. Like… like you like you.”

Your steps faltered, and you stared at him for a moment. His expression was so sincere, even through the haze of intoxication, that it made your chest ache.

“…Azul,” you said softly, “let’s get you home first, okay?”

He blinked at you, his brow furrowing in confusion, but he nodded obediently. “Okay… but you have to promise… hic… you won’t disappear. I'll give you free coffee for life.”

“I promise,” you said with a laugh.

The next morning, sunlight filtered through the curtains, and Azul groaned as the dull, pounding headache reminded him of last night’s poor decisions. He buried his face in his pillow, groaning again at the flashbacks of you holding him upright, your warm laughter echoing in his ears.

What did I do? he thought, mortified.

And then it hit him—he’d confessed. Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no. He sat up too quickly, clutching his head as the dizziness hit him. You must’ve been horrified. Surely, you’d bolted the moment he fell asleep, wanting to avoid the awkwardness.

But then he heard a sound from the kitchen.

Azul froze, his heart pounding for an entirely different reason now. He slid out of bed, carefully padding toward the source of the noise. There you were, standing in the kitchenette, humming softly to yourself as you poured coffee into two mugs.

You turned when you heard him, flashing him a warm smile. “Good morning, sleepyhead. I made coffee—thought you’d need it.”

Azul stared, his jaw slightly slack. “You’re… still here?”

You raised an eyebrow. “Where else would I go? You promised me free coffee for life, remember?”

Azul groaned, running a hand down his face. “I didn’t mean it.”

You laughed, stepping closer and handing him a mug. “I know. But you did mean the other thing, didn’t you?”

He stiffened, clutching the coffee mug like it might save him. “I-I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he stammered, his face flushing.

You tilted your head, giving him a knowing smile. “The part where you said you liked me.”

Azul’s grip on the mug tightened, and he swallowed hard. “…Yes,” he admitted softly, not meeting your gaze. “I meant it. But I understand if you—”

Before he could finish, you leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. His words died in his throat as he stared at you, wide-eyed.

“I like you too, Azul,” you said with a grin. “I have for a while.”

Azul blinked, his brain struggling to process your words. “…You do?”

“Obviously,” you teased. “Why else would I stick around to help you last night? You’re a handful, you know that?”

Azul’s lips twitched into a small, shy smile, the tension in his shoulders melting away. “…Thank you,” he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper.

“For the coffee? Or for liking you back?” you teased, taking a sip of your drink.

“Both,” he replied, his gaze softening as he looked at you.

And black coffee had never tasted so sweet to him.

Jade Leech

Jade Leech prided himself on his composure, his refinement, and his ability to remain unflappable under any circumstances. That all went out the window after a few too many drinks.

You hadn’t even expected to see him like this—flushed cheeks, a lazy, amused smile, and a rare looseness to his usual precision. He wasn’t stumbling per se, but his steps lacked their usual grace, and every so often, he swayed just enough to make you reach out and steady him.

“I must commend you,” Jade slurred, his voice as smooth as ever despite the alcohol. “You’re quite… considerate. Most wouldn’t bother with something so trivial as escorting me home.”

“Trivial? You can barely walk straight,” you said with a huff, adjusting your hold on his arm to keep him upright. “I’m not leaving you to faceplant in the dirt, Jade.”

His laugh was softer than usual, warmer somehow. “Hmm… you truly are unique.”

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the small smile tugging at your lips. “Yeah, yeah. Save the compliments for when you’re sober.”

But Jade had other plans. “You’re always like this,” he murmured, his gaze drifting toward you. “Kind. Thoughtful. Beautiful…”

You froze for a moment, glancing at him. “You’re drunk, Jade. You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“Oh, I do,” he replied, the faintest pout gracing his lips. “I’ve wanted to say it for so long… but I couldn’t. You’re so… precious to me, I couldn’t bear to—hic—risk it.”

“Risk what?” you asked softly, your chest tightening at the vulnerability in his voice.

“Losing you,” he whispered. His usual confidence was gone, replaced by a raw, unfiltered honesty that left you speechless.

You stared at him for a moment before shaking your head. “Come on, let’s get you home,” you said gently, though your heart was pounding in your chest.

The next morning, Jade woke up with a pounding headache and the faint memory of warm hands rubbing his back as you murmured reassurances. His eyes snapped open as the events of the night before came rushing back.

“…Oh no,” he muttered, burying his face in his hands.

He couldn’t believe he’d actually said it. Confessed his feelings so blatantly, without any of the careful planning or subtlety he prided himself on. And to you, of all people—the one person he couldn’t bear to push away.

Jade steeled himself. He’d handle this like any other delicate situation—with poise and precision. If he acted normal, he could convince you that his confession had been nothing more than the ramblings of a drunk man.

And so, when he saw you later that day, he greeted you with his usual calm smile. “Good morning. I trust you slept well?”

You blinked at him, a bit surprised by his nonchalance. “Uh… yeah. How about you?”

“Quite well, thank you,” he said smoothly, showing no hint of the internal panic roiling beneath the surface.

You studied him for a moment, your brow furrowing slightly. “Do you… remember anything from last night?”

“Only bits and pieces,” he replied with a polite chuckle. “If I said or did anything out of the ordinary, I do hope you’ll forgive me.”

Out of the ordinary? You were starting to wonder if you’d hallucinated his heartfelt confession. Jade was acting so normal, so perfectly composed, that it was almost infuriating.

It wasn’t until later, when you were both in the lounge, that he slipped.

“Of course, I treasure you more than anyone else,” he said offhandedly, then immediately froze as he realized what he’d just admitted.

You stared at him, your heart skipping a beat. “Wait. What did you just say?”

Jade cleared his throat, his face betraying the slightest hint of embarrassment. “Ah… I misspoke.”

“No, you didn’t,” you said firmly, stepping closer. “You meant it, didn’t you? Just like you meant it last night.”

He hesitated, his composure faltering for the first time since that morning. “…Yes,” he admitted softly, avoiding your gaze. “I meant every word.”

A smile broke across your face, and before he could say anything else, you leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. “Good. Because I like you too, Jade.”

His eyes widened, and for once, he was completely at a loss for words. “You… you do?”

You nodded, your grin widening. “Of course. Why do you think I stayed to take care of you last night?”

Jade’s lips curved into a small, genuine smile, his cheeks faintly tinged with pink. “I see… I suppose I should count myself lucky, then.”

“You definitely should,” you teased, nudging him playfully. “Now, are you going to keep pretending nothing happened, or are you going to take me out on a proper date?”

Jade chuckled softly, the tension melting away as he looked at you with newfound warmth. “I believe I owe you the latter, don’t I?”

And with that, the polished, unflappable Jade Leech was yours to keep.

Floyd Leech was unpredictable on a good day. Drunk Floyd? That was another beast entirely.

He’d somehow managed to drink more than anyone else at the party, slinging his arm over your shoulder with a lopsided grin as he loudly declared you his “favorite Shrimpy.” If it weren’t for your quick reflexes, he probably would’ve knocked over at least three tables by now.

“Floyd, slow down!” you scolded, grabbing his wrist as he lunged toward a decorative vase like it was a basketball hoop. “We’re not here to redecorate.”

“But it’d look so much better broken!” he whined, leaning heavily against you. His sharp teeth flashed in a grin that was somehow equal parts adorable and terrifying. “Don’t ya think, Shrimpy?”

“No, Floyd,” you said firmly, guiding him away from the vase. “Let’s just focus on getting you home in one piece, okay?”

Floyd pouted but allowed you to steer him toward the exit, his lanky frame draped over yours like a human anchor. As you walked, he alternated between humming tunelessly, giggling at nothing, and telling you random, cryptic statements like, “The moon’s gonna eat you if you don’t smile back at it.”

“Sure, Floyd. I’ll keep that in mind,” you said, trying not to laugh.

It wasn’t until you were nearly to Octavinelle that his unhinged ramblings took a sudden, softer turn.

“You know somethin’, Shrimpy?” he said, his voice quieter now, almost wistful.

“What’s that?” you asked, adjusting your grip on him as he started to slump forward.

“I really, really like you,” he slurred, his mismatched eyes blinking up at you with a rare sincerity. “Like… not just as a buddy or whatever. I mean, like… like-like.”

You froze, your heart skipping a beat. “Floyd, you’re drunk.”

“So what?” he mumbled, his eyelids drooping. “Still true.”

Before you could respond, he let out a content sigh and promptly passed out, his head lolling against your shoulder.

“Of course,” you muttered, trying to ignore the warmth spreading through your chest. “You couldn’t confess while sober, could you?”

The next morning, Floyd was back to his usual self—or so it seemed. He greeted you with his usual wide grin and a sing-songy, “Mornin’, Shrimpy!”

You half-expected him to pretend last night didn’t happen, but instead, he seemed… more affectionate than usual. He leaned closer when he talked to you, casually draped his arm over your shoulder, and even offered you one of his prized snacks without a second thought.

It wasn’t until later, while you were both lounging in the lounge, that he dropped the bombshell.

“So, what do ya wanna do for our first date?” he asked, twirling a toothpick between his fingers.

You blinked at him. “Our what?”

“Our date,” he said, tilting his head like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “You know, ‘cause we’re dating now.”

“…Floyd, you never asked me to be your partner.”

He raised an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed. “Yeah, I did. Last night. Don’t you remember?”

“You were drunk, Floyd,” you pointed out.

“Still counts,” he said with a shrug, then grinned. “Unless… you don’t wanna date me?”

You stared at him for a moment, then let out a laugh, shaking your head. “You’re unbelievable.”

“Is that a yes?” he asked, leaning in with a teasing smirk.

“It’s a yes,” you said, rolling your eyes but unable to hide your smile.

Floyd’s grin widened, and before you knew it, he was scooping you up into a crushing hug, spinning you around as he laughed. “Knew ya couldn’t resist me, Shrimpy!”

As chaotic as he was, you couldn’t help but think you were in for one wild, wonderful ride.

Idia Shroud didn’t go to parties. Not unless someone twisted his arm—or in this case, dragged him out. His idea of fun was gaming in his room, not standing around awkwardly while extroverts did extrovert things.

And yet, here he was. Drinking something questionable because a certain someone (you) had sweet-talked him into joining.

He didn’t expect to end up three drinks deep, his face red, and leaning on your shoulder as you tried to guide him back to Ignihyde.

“Y-you don’t have to do this,” he muttered, stumbling slightly. “I’m fine. Totally fine. Just… a little dizzy.”

“Uh-huh,” you said dryly, tightening your grip on his arm. “You’re lucky I’m here, or you’d probably have wandered into the forest by now."

Idia chuckled, the sound softer and less nervous than usual. “Maybe. But you’d come get me, right? You always do…”

“Yeah, yeah,” you said, brushing off the adoration in his voice to focus on keeping him upright. “Come on, almost there.”

He was quiet for a moment, save for the occasional muttered complaint about his legs feeling like jelly. Then, he said, almost too softly to hear:

“Do you know why I always listen to you?”

You glanced at him, surprised. “Why’s that?”

“‘Cause I… I really like you,” he mumbled, his face somehow growing redder. “Like… more than I like my SSR pulls. And you know that’s saying something.”

You stopped in your tracks, staring at him. “Idia, are you—”

Before you could finish your sentence, he tripped over absolutely nothing, faceplanted into the ground, and immediately started snoring.

“…Of course,” you muttered, rubbing your temples.

The next morning, Idia woke up with a pounding headache and the horrifying realization that he’d said everything out loud.

“No. No, no, no, no,” he groaned, pulling the blanket over his head. “I’ll just… never leave my room again. Yeah. Problem solved.”

His brilliant plan lasted all of five minutes before he heard you outside his door.

“Idia, open up,” you called, your voice firm.

“N-nope! Not happening!”

You sighed loudly. “Okay. Ortho?”

“Yes?” came Ortho’s cheerful reply.

“Break the door down.”

“Wait, wait, wait!” Idia scrambled to unlock the door, cracking it open just enough to peek out. “No need to bring in the big guns! I-I’m opening it, see?”

He stepped back, allowing you inside, and immediately tried to hide behind his hair. “If you’re here to say you hate me now, just—just get it over with,” he mumbled, his voice barely audible.

“Why would I hate you?” you asked, crossing your arms.

“B-because of what I said!” he wailed, his voice cracking. “I—I confessed, and then I passed out like an idiot, and—ugh! It’s like something out of a cringe anime!”

You rolled your eyes and grabbed his hand, cutting him off mid-rant. “Idia, shut up for a second.”

“What—”

You leaned in and kissed him softly, feeling him freeze in place. When you pulled back, you couldn’t help but grin at his wide-eyed, stunned expression.

“I like you too, dummy,” you said. “Who else would I like? If not you, then who?”

Idia’s face turned scarlet, his hair flaring pink at the edges. “Y-you… you really mean that?”

“Obviously,” you teased, ruffling his hair. “Now stop hiding in your room and let’s go get some breakfast. You owe me for last night.”

Idia nodded, still too stunned to form words, but the small, shy smile on his face said everything you needed to know.

Masterlist

[screampied]

can you do soft sukuna after an argument vegas for fluff pretty please i think we deserve it after all you've done to us

໒꒱ ₊˚ ‘ MAYBE I’M THE PROBLEM﹒⺡ SUKUNA RYŌMEN. ’

sum. gn! reader, angst with c-comfort, he’s a softie at heart, fluff, petnames, ty lucy for beta'ing <3

“what’s with you today?” sukuna furrows his eyebrows, and he lightly grabs your wrist. you face him only to briefly look away with a stubborn scowl. “you didn’t have to do that. i can take care of myself.”

he was referring to earlier…how careless you were, at least from his perspective. throwing yourself in danger just for sukuna. perhaps it was stupid, but at that particular moment—you didn’t have a thought that crossed your mind.

“well, i did,” you mumble, and sukuna bites his tongue from the inside of his cheek. his nostrils flare before he grabs your shoulders.

“what are you not getting? and if you died trying to protect me, then what?” and for a brief moment, it was dead silence. you stared at sukuna, and you can’t remember a time he looked like this. sukuna was … scared. the more you looked into his dark eyes, once full of arrogance and wit — instead, his pupils dilated and widened. his thumbs gently pressed into your skin, and then he continues to speak. “how can you even be calm about something like that?”

“i wouldn’t have to do things like that if you’d just be more careful,” you chastise, a sudden wave of gloom spraying over you. sukuna kept pausing every few seconds, as if he was carefully thinking of what to reply with.

sukuna’s almost got a glare before he sighs. “i told you. i can take care of myse—”

“no, you can’t sukuna. you know how many times you’ve almost died? the countless days where i’d be worried sick about you. if anyone’s reckless, it’s you. and you wonder why i act like this, it’s because i’m in love with you, you idiot.”

you don’t even register your words, it’s as if you’ve been yearning to get that out for ages.

sukuna grows mute, trying to figure if he actually heard what he’d just heard. you…you were in love with someone like him?

the awkward silence was deafening, a single tear strolls down your cheek before sukuna’s face suddenly softens.

he brings a thumb up to your cheek, swiping the tear aside before muttering in a raspy, “you love me?”

“i thought it was pretty obvious,” you grumble, avoiding his eye contact. your heart ached, never in your life have you felt this vulnerable. saying it out loud only made you flustered immensely quick. a soft smile goes against his lips — you didn’t answer his question, but he knew the answer. you loved sukuna. “but whatever.”

“oi. don’t ‘whatever’ me,” sukuna mutters, cupping both sides of your face. he has you stare right into his eyes, the eyes where most see a cruel villainous person, you see the softest eyes imaginable. reserved only for you. “look at me,” and you finally meet his gaze, a smug grin slowly tugs against the corners of his mouth. “you’re in love with me.”

a weird tingly feeling crept up inside your stomach, and you give sukuna a glare. “you know,” he keeps speaking, a soft finger stroking your cheek. “instead of almost dying for me, you could have been normal and just said, ‘i love you’.”

“…shut up,” you grouse, entirely abashed. he found it cute seeing you like this. in the midst of your mini tantrum - sukuna hums to himself, leaning down to kiss your forehead.

“hmpf. well, i suppose i love you too, brat,” he utters, watching your face briefly light up at his words. sukuna saying it back couldn’t have made your heart swoon even more, but it did. “and i’m sorry for being so careless.”

you felt butterflies collide inside your tummy before you blink, ears perking at his first initial words and you pout. “you suppose?”

sukuna looks down at you before he awkwardly pats your head. “i … love you,” his voice was a mere soft rasp. studying his stare, sukuna started to grow a tad bit embarrassed. even more than you. as his fingers softly roam through your hair, he leans up close to your face and scoffs. “happy now?”

“i love you more,” you smile, feeling more relieved. he’s taken aback once you hug him. sukuna’s always been so stiff at something as simple as a hug. your frame held his waist tightly, and he’d never admit it but it was adorable.

sukuna scowls. “…. you’re squishing me.”

“shut up and hug me back.” you sigh, only taking this as an opportunity to squeeze him tighter. he was so warm.

usually…sukuna wouldn’t let anyone get this close, yet alone do this. a simple affectionate hug.

he groans, slowly wrapping his arms around you. “you’re so annoying,” and as your head rests against his chest — you look up at him, a soft smile goes against your lips. “pain in my damn ass.”

“talking about your ass isn’t romantic, ‘kuna.” you raise your brows . . . obviously kidding, but he groans.

with an eye roll, sukuna does the unexpected and pulls you up close towards his face. with a perplexed grin, you watch as he grabs you into a chaste kiss. it takes you by surprise, your hands remain flat and still before you wrap your arms around him. sukuna’s soft with you, you made him soft—and he hated it, but a tiny part of him secretly loved it too.

abruptly, he pulls the kiss away before glaring at you. “i love you.”

“i love you too, kuku.”

“…..call me that again and see what happens.”

[night-raven-tattler]

The pains of being human

Summary: You're dealing with period related misfortunes, and you feel vulnerable... mostly because you reached a point where you had to share your predicament with someone you trusted (?).

Characters: Deuce, Floyd, Lilia and GN!Reader (separate, vague)

Warnings: mentions of menstrual products, food, medicine; discussions of periods and related symptoms (such as: bleeding, cramps, nausea, mood swings.)

By opening the document, you agree to Mx Tattly's terms of source confidentiality.

-ˋˏ’✄┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

You were in your dorm room, stuck in a real predicament: not stocking up on your menstrual products, and leaving the room to buy yourself some seemed too risky, fearing you might get a stain and embarass yourself in front of the whole school

It wasn't a very likely situation, but the anxiety was not worth it, so you relied the first person you were close enough with to help you out: Deuce

You shot him a simple text

"i am on my period, can you buy me some products? i'll pay you back when you get here"

and expected an awkward but supportive reply, since teenage boys and periods can be like oil and water sometimes or demons and cruxes...

But the text you received in return was... mildly surprising.

"yeah sure. pads? tampons?"

"what size do you need?"

"anything else you need? painkillers? something sweet?"

You even double checked the number to make sure you didn't text anyone else

He even knew about sizes! And he thought about painkillers! You were more and more touched with each message coming through

And, with the proper instructions, Deuce was on his way to Sam's

He was not embarassed for even a second: he was there on a mission, and he accomplished it successfully without any missteps

...Well, except of his little delay, caused by a pair of nosy boys, who received their proper threats from Deuce for interrupting his mission with their toxic masculinity

He knocked at your door, and for a second he was expecting his mother to open the door; after all, she was the only one he has ever bought these things for before you

You gratefully welcomed him in, waddling your way back to your bed as you inspected the bag he brought you

"Thank you, Deuce. You're a livesaver... How much did everything cost you?"

Deuce saw the tired look on your face, the heavy lids that indicated a lack of proper sleep, and he shook his head

"It's on me this time."

You scoffed, knowing Deuce was also on a budget; as much of a sweetheart and an honors student he was, Deuce deserved to be rewarded

"...I wanna think of a compromise, but my brain is too tired right now."

You groaned, closing your eyes as you rested them for a few seconds

Deuce shook his head at you again and clicked his tongue in fond exasperation

He wanted to be nice and offer you an out, but you were dead set on being nice to him...

"...A latte."

You opened your eyes, looking at Deuce in confusion

"I'm sorry?"

"I want a latte. One of those fancy ones from that café in town. When you're done with the, uh... bear week."

A small snort escaped you as you gave Deuce an amused look

"Bear week? Not shark week?"

Deuce's eyes widened slightly, and he looked away as his cheeks grew warmer

"...Mom never called it that. She always said that fighting a bear is more likely to happen than fighting a shark... and that it sounds cooler."

You nodded, feeling very inclined to agree with his mom, and decided to steal that phrase

You were very relieved to have someone as reliable as Deuce near you, and despite the fact that Deuce wasn't the most diligent person, he always made sure to carry one of your preffered products with him at all times

No matter what kind of teases he received from anyone for it, he knew he was showing a level of care not many would

And while helping you... he was helping himself

He was still dealing with the guilt of being so embarassed when his own mom sent him to buy pads; he couldn't help his mom with such a simple thing even after everything she's done

But he can be more careful this time... more appreciative

『••✎••』

The moment Floyd spotted you in the hallways was when things went downhill: Floyd didn't really bring sunshine and rainbows around with himself

By that point you were used to his shenanigans, but you still gave some interesting reactions

A gasp, a swat to his hand... but never tears

He wouldn't have yelled in your ear if he knew you'd burst into tears: he wasn't in the mood to deal with the aftermath

But he quickly put two and two together, seeing the way you were frozen on the spot, almost trying to pick between scolding him and saying something else

Unbeknownst to Floyd, you were simply trying to get back to your dorm after noticing a pretty sizeable stain on your pants from your period

And the anxiety from trying to go unnoticed put you on edge, making your reaction to Floyd so much worse

"...Please just get me out of here."

Your small plea came after a tense silence, in which Floyd was reading your expression with an almost uninterested look

But he still hoisted you over his shoulder without any hesitation, much to your embarassment

"Floyd...! Not like this, put me down!"

"Eh~? You're so hard to please, little discus!"

Floyd did not put you down, of course

It was causing a bit of a scene, so you decided that, in the end, you'll take whatever got you to your dorm room the fastest

"Alright, fine...! Just get me to my dorm then!"

"Boooring! Why can't we go somewhere more fun?"

Floyd complained while going in the direction of your dorm

"Because I'm not in the mood for fun, Floyd! I..."

Your cheeks turned red, realising you almost revealed something too personal

To your surprise, Floyd didn't point it out; he just pouted as he walked towards your dorm

You reached your dorm room soon thanks to Floyd's long legs, and you were able to change into fresh clothes, easing your anxiety and making you feel like crying from relief

Until you realised Floyd was still in your room, even after you told him you'd be having no fun together today

He looked you up and down, his face betraying his confusion

"Now can you tell me why you were smelling like blood? Did anyone do something? Do I get to deliver a revenge plan and squeeze some aquarium fish?"

Floyd's almost sadistic delivery did not phase you at all, and all you were thinking was that of course Floyd noticed

You had no other option but to explain

"I just... got a blood stain from my, uh... my period..."

Silence.

"...What do classes have to do with that?"

Your eyes widened as you came to a horrifying conclusion: Floyd couldn't know what period were, because he was a merman

You saw your short life flash before your eyes in horror at the prospect of having to explain periods to a teenager... when Floyd just burst into laughter

"Oh, you actually believe that! You are so funny!"

Much to your relief, Floyd's confusion was just a prank; he figured you had your period before you even said anything

He revealed that he took classes about humans, their customs and anatomy when he first decided to come on land

And he also dodged the pillows you threw at him with practiced ease

It was the last time you even talked about it: neither of you brough it up again, and you didn't know how to feel about it

On one hand, you were relieved, but on the other hand, you expected Floyd of all people to ask questions and be all annoying about it

But Floyd didn't really care about things like that

In fact, he found your periods hilarious: your mood swins in particular were funny, and he almost enjoyed making things that you could digest

And he would never admit it, but he felt proud when you seemed to feel a bit better after he helped you during your period

『••✎••』

Every once in a while, you found yourself being enveloped in a hug from behind from the old bat

He would either hand you a piece of homemade chocolate by him or some cute trinket he thought sould cheer you up

Lilia was a very cute individual, and he was surprisingly affectionate for someone who was definitely a teenager and not a retired war veteran attending highschool, so you never questioned it

...until you found Lilia wrapping his jacket around your torso gingerly from behind

"...There we go. Not too tight?"

His cute, softer voice vibrated through your back as he still was glued to you

"It's... not, but why did you..."

"Oh, haven't you heard? Jackets wrapped around waists are the latest fad! It's cool and chic!"

You didn't argue with him on it, especially after you tried to untie the jacket from your waist and were blocked by Lilia, who was still holding you from behind

The proximity was getting to you, and you felt your cheeks flushing, your knees growing a bit weak, your stomach doing flips-

Wait, no. That wasn't butterflies in your stomach, that was a sharp pain from... lower

As you put two and two together, Lilia started walking you down the hallway into a secluded classroom, his hand around your waist and making you two look as casual and unassuming as always

The moment Lilia closed the door of the abandoned classroom, you his your face in your hands from embarassment

"Oh, my god... This can't be happening to me..."

The tone in your voice betrayed how mortified you felt, but was glad that you had this realisation away from prying eyes

You didn't even realise the leak, since you were already using products, and it already felt like you leaked blood all the time...

Lilia only chucked at your realisation

"Khee hee... Someone was a bit caught off guard today, huh?"

Your pathetic whimper was the only answer Lilia received, and his eyes sparkled with mirth

He still brought out his magical pen and waved it gently in the air, muttering something under his breath

"Take that jacket off and turn around for me?"

You did as he instructed, but only because you felt more... dry, all of a sudden

Lilia hummed in delight as he saw the spot being gone, his spell working

"Good. No more damning evidence... Now all you gotta do is go on your merry way."

You sighed in relief and slipped onto an empty chair, letting the small rollercoaster of emotions settle down within you

Lilia was nothing short of a lifesaver, and he handled the situation with so much grace that it left you speechless

When you asked about it, he just laughed

"I'm no stranger to blood."

That was all he said... Not ominous at all /s

Still, you were very grateful at the way Lilia handled everything

Since then, he started being even more doting on you whenever you were in your period

He was almost... motherly in a way

And for some reason, the idea of Lilia as a parental figure didn't seem too far fetched...

He always was on the lookout for any other accidents and even tried talking you into trying the reusable alternatives for your products

What surprised no one was when he became even more eager to supplement you with nutritional food whenever you were low on energy

And so much more disappointed when your nausea made his food somehow even worse to be around

『••✎••』

[owuwi]

CAITLYN KIRAMMAN

NSFW ALPHABET.ᐟ

pairings: switch!caitlyn kiramman x afab!reader

warnings: nsfw, usage of strap, mentions of free use, sex positions, mentions pussy eating, mentions of overstimulating, mentions of sex toys, mentions of knife play and anal as a turn off

2.5k words

── requested ──

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

sosososo caring!

even if she's tired, she'll always get you whatever you need. she's the type of girl to place soft, slow kisses along every inch of your burning skin, not caring about the thin layer of sweat covering your body. her hands roam all over you in the gentlest manner, wanting you to feel as relaxed as possible. after doing all of this, she'll carry you bridal style and give you a bath — if you're too tired, she'll simply clean you up with a warm towel —.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

in her, it's her waist. have you seen it? you can basically grab it with only one hand! she knows it amplifies her good looks and will always wear certain clothes that emphasizes her curves.

on you, it's any plushy part. whether it's your thighs, your ass, your tummy, or your breasts. she loves holding onto your body and she loves feeling your flesh. her love for your body isn't always sexual, she feels pure adoration whenever she looks at you and she can't hide it.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

she never gets tired of seeing you cum.

no matter how many time's you've done it, seeing how your body reacts to such intense pleasure created by her is something that never fails to amaze her. she loves making you cum more than she can explain and will never get tired of experiencing your reactions, which often leads to her overstimulating you and constantly asking you for one more orgasm.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

this woman is a freak.

it's something she's not exactly proud of yet can't control. she's even a bit embarrassed because she never thought she'd ever act like this. when she first met you, she wasn't exactly experienced nor knew a lot of sexual stuff — she was quite awkward and let you had control almost every time — ,but that quickly changed once your relationship got more serious and as time passed.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

she definitely knows what she's doing.

she's a fast learner so it doesn't take her long to get to know your body — to figure out what you like and what you don't —, and she definitely takes advantage of her little skill. she knows how to get you dripping in a couple of seconds, she knows how to have you begging for her touch, and she definitely enjoys seeing you so desperate.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

doggy style or you riding her.

she loves the sight doggy style provides and it's a position where she has more control. her hands are always on your ass — constantly groping and slapping it — and she loves leaning down to press slow kisses all over your back — especially when she's fucking you rougher —.

she feels like a teenage boy whenever you're riding her; the most love-struck look plastered on her face as you bounce up and down her strap. she was definitely awkward the first time you did this, her hands basically glued besides her own legs as she watched you. she became more confident over time, soft palms roaming over every single inch of your body — her hips occasionally thrusting up to meet your movements —.

as for sub!cait, she loves when you drape her legs over your shoulders. it's a position which makes her lose all control and she's on your mercy, making her feel vulnerable — in a good way — and under your care.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

despite everything, she's still a silly little thing.

she cannot stop giggling when you start taking off her clothes or even when you're kissing, soft laughs constantly slipping past her lips. it's a reaction she's always had whenever she gets too excited so she can't really control it, yet she totally tries to be more serious at times — especially when she's the one in control —.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

her bush grows fast and it's thick — yet soft —.

she trims her bush whenever she can just because she finds it more comfortable, though she'll definitely let it grow a bit more if you ask her nicely. however there are obviously times where she's too busy to trim it.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

intimacy is always present in your relationship.

during sexual acts, she always wants you to feel and know how much she loves you. after being rough or kinkier on you, she doesn't waste any time to shower you in affection and murmuring how much she cares about you; how you're the best thing that's ever happened to her and how she can't bare the thought of losing you.

intimacy outside of sex is something she cherishes. she loves those warm, quiet little moments with you. she loves brushing her fingers along your body, tracing your curves while listening to your soft breathing. what she loves the most is listening to your heartbeat, especially after a shitty day. you're all she needs in her life and to feel better.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

she only does it when she's really stressed and busy.

on those times where she's not with you and she really needs to blow some steam, she slips her hand inside her pants and allows herself to get carried away. she doesn't do it often because she's grown accustomed to the pleasure only you can provide her, though she always thinks of you on those rare moments when she touches herself.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

free use and orgasm control.

she's a busy and stressed woman, often seeking relief after a rough day, and you're always her best solution. she mostly does this when she comes back home and she doesn't want to distract you from what you're doing — which is usually making her some dinner —, so she simply buries her face in the crook of your neck and allows her hands to roam all over your body. 'mhm... don't mind me..' those are the words she always murmurs as her hand slip inside your underwear, sliding up and down your slightly slick folds.

she loves having control over everything she possibly can, and that includes your pleasure. despite loving seeing you fall apart for her, there are other ways she enjoys breaking you. she's sneaky about it at first, not wanting you to see her real intentions, and it would be cute if it wasn't for how mean she gets. she won't let you cum no matter how much you beg or cry, she'll only give you what you crave after she feels she's had enough.

oh but if you try and control her orgasm, she'll immediately understand the torture she puts you through and claims she won't do it again — though that's a lie —.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

she doesn't really have a favorite place. as long as you two are comfortable, she'll fuck you anywhere. though the place she enjoys having sex the most is somewhere more private. she relishes in hearing you moan, in hearing how you scream her name while she makes you see stars, so doing it somewhere more public won't allow you to be loud.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

your reactions.

the way you react to her will never fail to get her going. she loves the way your body shivers under her fingertips, the way your skin heats up as she kisses her way down, the way you twitch as she makes contact with your drooling pussy, and she obviously can't forget about the way you moan. seeing the effect she has on you brings her such indescribable pleasure, normally resulting in her fucking you for hours — whether it's with her mouth, fingers, or strap —.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

anything that will hurt you + stuff you aren't into.

she cannot stand even the mere thought of you being in actual pain while being intimate, especially not pain she caused. despite her rough she can be, you're her whole life and she never wants you to be in any discomfort. she's not into hitting you, making you bleed, nor truly making you cry.

for sub!cait, she's not into anal. the idea turns her off and it's not something she's excited — willing — to try.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

she loves both giving and receiving.

this woman eats pussy like she's starving and never bothers to hide it. she knows how to use her mouth; dragging her tongue up and down your slick folds and toying with your red clit before sucking harshly — a combination of her saliva and your arousal dripping down her chin —. she takes pleasure in making you feel good, though there are times where all she needs is your head between her legs.

on those nights after she came home exhausted, all she needs is you. she's way too tired to pleasure you so she prefers you making her feel good.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

slow yet rough!

taking her time with you it's something she adores. she always makes sure every single inch of you is kissed and worshipped before finally fucking you. she keeps her pace slow but her thrusts are brutal; driving her strap so deep until it kisses your cervix. she snaps her hips against yours precisely, her moves calculated and made to turn you into a whining mess. if it was up to her, she'll fuck you like that every time, though she eventually increases her speed once you start begging her to do so.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

only on those moments where she's in a rush or you two don't have enough privacy. she's not a big fan because it doesn't allow her to explore your body but she doesn't hate quickies — she never hates having sex with you —. quickies are something you two mostly do in her office or before attending somewhere.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

for sure.

caitlyn loves trying new things and she's constantly showing you stuff she'd like to try; it'd be adorable how excited she gets if it weren't for the filthy stuff she shows you. it's not that your sex life is boring or anything like that — on the whole contrary, you two are young and full of energy — but she likes to experiment. her risks are meticulously planned, though. if you're fucking in a more public space and you think you two are going to get caught, you're wrong; she had already this whole meeting and made sure no one was going to be present — yet she would never tell you —.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

she cums way too fast whenever she's too excited/aroused but her stamina makes up for it. she can go for 4-5 rounds before taking a break, using that time to make sure you're okay and shower you with praises.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

just some straps and a vibrator.

she uses the vibrator on you but never makes you cum with it, quickly replacing her fingers or her mouth — wanting to feel you releasing under her proper touch —. she has two straps — a thick and long one and a smaller one — and she uses them on you and you use them on her.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

just a little bit.

it's usually something she does unconsciously when she makes you wait, soft murmurs of 'be patient', 'let me enjoy your body a bit more, love', 'so needy', leaving her lips as she explores your body and makes sure you're dripping for her. she doesn't do it on purpose because she knows you won't hesitate on giving her a taste of her own medicine the next time you're topping, and this woman can't handle teasing — she tries but she always fails to keep her composure —.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

she tries to control herself but always ends up failing.

she lets out soft sighs of pleasure at first, bitting down on her bottom lip or placing the back of her hand over her lips as a way of silencing the louder noises that threaten to slip out, though she can't hold back for much longer. eventually, those faint breaths turn into moans, not loud enough to alarm neighbors but louder than her previous sounds. she definitely gets more high-pitched and close to whining when she's about to orgasm, her sounds breathy and broken.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

doesn't matter how many times you two have done it, she still gets all giddy.

her hands get all shaky and sweaty, her lips formed into a dumb smile as she stares at you — revealing her tooth gap —, and her cheeks flushed with a pink hue. she secretly loves the effect you always have on her and it's something that'll never fail to amaze her; the ability you have to turn her into a mess.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

7.5 inch dark blue strap, i don't make the rules.

if we're talking about underwear, this woman wears the finest there is. she has the most beautiful, lace matching sets ever — almost all of them dark blue, of course, though she has some black ones — and also robes.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

high.

she's obsessed with you. one glance at your sweaty, burnt out body and she immediately wants to go for another round. if you're too tired or simply not in the mood for more, she holds onto the little self control she has left and forces herself to stop being a horny little bastard — prioritizing your boundaries —.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

it kinda depends on how spent she is.

if she's not so tired, she'll simply wrap her arms around you and pull your head against her chest; wanting you to fall asleep first before she eventually closes her eyes. if she is tired, she falls asleep pretty quickly. she'll keep you close to her body as she allows herself to relax, enjoying how the warmth of your body envelops her.

[biblicallyaccuratemeat]

A Firm Hand

MDNI!!!

A/N: I posted this on ao3 a little bit ago, so I figure why not post it here too! Beta read by @teaflavoredwitch Bucky Barnes x female reader, past Steve Rogers x reader implied/referenced, cheating, alcohol, kind of dub con if you squint, p in v sex, dom!Bucky, protective Bucky, dirty talk, kitchen sex, spanking, fingering, drunk sex, size kink, friends to lovers, angst and porn, shamelessly self-indulgent

Word Count: 5.3k

Steve Rogers is a jackass.

Captain fucking America, mister cherry pie and morals, was a self-righteous prick. Bucky had never felt more pissed off at Steve in his one hundred plus years of living than he does right now. You curled up in his bed, bawling your eyes out and practically chugging some cheap magnum bottle of whiskey. 

Steve, who apparently didn’t believe in too much of a good thing, when he decided to stick his patriotic dick in Sharon Carter of all people. Of course, you found out. Steve was a terrible liar despite having the balls to actually cheat on you. You don’t know why you immediately go to Bucky, but you do. In the year you’ve been dating Steve, you became rapidly closer with the former Winter Soldier. Perhaps it was the forced proximity, or maybe you were just kindred spirits.

Bucky, of course, falls for you. Hard and fast like an idiot. Forced to pine after his best friend’s girl as if his life wasn’t already a fucking sob story. Always the dutiful friend, listening to you vent about the pitfalls of your relationship with Steve and trying to offer sound advice. Bucky learns to tame the green eyed monster inside him, finding contentment as your friend and confidant. 

When you show up on his doorstep at eight o’clock on a Saturday night, he knows Steve fucked up. He knows it without you even having to say a word, because he knew this would happen. He knew, on some level, that Steve didn’t deserve you. Not that Bucky deserved you either, god knows he was even less deserving. But you went to him, so that has to mean something, right?

The intensifying of your sobs pull Bucky out of his reverie, head snapping in your direction again. Some commercial blares on his shitty little TV in the corner of his bedroom, Even the Nights Are Better playing in the background on some allergy medicine ad. 

“T-this was our song!” You wail, burying your face in a pillow as your body shudders with the force of your sobs. The bottle of whiskey remains clutched in your hand. If it weren’t for your inconsolable state, Bucky might’ve been impressed and slightly turned on at the way you chug the whiskey. A woman after his own heart.

Bucky grimaces, perched next to you, stock still, “Okay, dollface, I think that’s enough whiskey.”

He feels awkward and stilted, like his skin is on too fucking tight and the room is too warm. He feels way too self-aware, he’s tuned in to every little sniffle and hiccup.

Seriously, fuck Steve for this. Not only for breaking your heart, but also creating the perfect storm. You, vulnerable and drunk in his fucking bed of all places. A wet dream come to life, if he’s being honest.

He needs to get the whiskey from you. He practically has to pry it out of your hands, amber liquid sloshing inside the nearly empty bottle. Fuck. He should have cut you off way earlier. He grabs the remote, clicking the mute button, “Honey, let’s take some deep breaths, yeah?”

Bucky tries to smile reassuringly but it’s tight and stretches over his teeth in a weird way that makes him look more machine than man. You peer over the edge of the pillow smushed against your face, doe eyes blinking owlishly at him, “Deep breaths?” You echo, incredulously, “You want me to take deep breaths when I walk in on my boyfriend tongue deep in that blonde bitch? Are you fucking for real, Bucky?”

Bucky’s mouth opens and closes rapidly, like a fish out of water. He sure fucking feels like one, incredibly out of his depths. He’s not equipped for this, a tornado of hormones and heartbreak. His stupid silence somehow seems to agitate you even further, angelic features twisting and morphing through every stage of grief in a matter of seconds.

Your anguish quickly gives way to fury, chucking the pillow across the room, “Has he always been like this? Huh?” 

Bucky blinks taken aback, “What? Steve?” He sighs, running a hand through shortly cropped hair, “No, doll, he hasn’t always been like this. I’ve known Steve since we were kids, and he’s never been a saint but he’s not usually an inconsiderate, lying, cheating asshole either.” Bucky’s voice is hard and contemptuous.

Bucky takes your dainty hand in his, squeezing reassuringly, “Hating Steve isn’t going to make this better. It’s not going to erase the pain he caused,” He pauses, pursing his lips as he tries to find the right words, “You gotta let yourself feel this, dollface. Feel the anger, feel the hurt, the betrayal. Don’t suppress it, because that’s just gonna make it fester.”

His jaw clenches, teeth grinding together. Bucky silently attempts to work through his own feelings on the matter. On one hand, his never wavering loyalty to Steve, his brother in arms and every sense of the word. On the other hand is you. Heartbroken, far too lovely for his comfort and the odd, delicate bond between you two. Bucky swallows, his mouth filled with a metallic taste as he fights down the ever growing urge to hunt Steve down and beat him within an inch of his life. 

He realizes you’re staring at him, gaze hard, “Why didn’t you warn me?” You ask in a quiet, hollow tone that makes Bucky feel like his heart is going to shrivel up in his chest.

Running a hand down his face, Bucky huffs, “Warn you?” He echoes, “Honey, I… I didn’t know.” He implores, clenching his fists in his lap, “I swear to God, if I had known he was being such a fucking prick, I would’ve put a stop to it, I would’ve beaten the information out of him myself.”

“You didn’t know?!” You throw your hands up in the air, gesturing wildly, “You didn’t have a single fucking inkling? I don’t believe that for a second, Bucky,” You hiss, movements jerky and agitated as you tousle your hair, “You didn’t think to say, “Hey doll,”” You begin to mimic Bucky’s voice, “‘You’re about to date the goddamn devil!’”

Holding his hands up in a placating gesture, Bucky scoots back. Your accusation stings, hitting a nerve he hadn’t known was exposed, “Hey, hold on just a damn minute,” He says, his voice rising in defense, “I’m not fucking psychic, dollface. I knew Steve could be an inconsiderate ass sometimes, but I didn’t know he was straight up cheating on you.”

Bucky scoffs, a mixture of shock and anger coursing through his veins, “I’m not going to apologize for not knowing what my so-called best friend was up to behind your back. That’s not fucking fair.”

His gaze softens slightly, his voice lowering to a more conciliatory tone, “Listen, I’m sorry I didn’t see the signs earlier. I’m sorry you got hurt. But don’t think for a second that I would’ve ever encouraged you to be with someone who would treat you like this. You mean too damn much to me for that.”

You’re still pissed, of course. Feeling self-destructive, though Bucky’s heartfelt declaration hits deep. Your chest rises and falls rapidly, a feral kind of rage filling you, “Oh yeah? Well… you’re… You’re an ass!” You shout, a half-hearted insult. You weren’t really trying, you just wanted to burn bridges. You push yourself out of the bed, stomping out of the room. Slamming the door for good measure, the sound echoing through the apartment like a gunshot. Storming into the kitchen, you begin digging through Bucky’s sparse cabinets for more liquor.

Bucky stared after you, stunned and hurt by your somewhat childish outburst. Your accusations burned like salt in a fresh wound. He stood there for a moment, anger and confusion warring within him. Then, with a fierce scowl, he stalked after you, his long strides quickly closing the distance between his bedroom and the kitchen.

The floorboards creak under his heavy footsteps as he follows the path down the hallway. When he reaches the kitchen, he grabs the doorframe, leaning in. “Hey, wait a fucking minute.” He all but growls, his voice a deep, dangerous rumble. “I know you’re hurting, but you don’t get to just accuse me of being an ass and then stomp away like a fucking toddler.”

He steps further into the kitchen, a breath away from crowding you against the counter, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Steve being a prick, but I won’t accept you throwing blame at me when I'm trying my goddamn hardest to be here for you!”

Bucky leans back against the counter, scoffing, “We both know you’re better than this, sweetheart. Don’t let Steve’s mistakes make you forget that. I’m not the enemy.”

You snatch a bottle of vodka out of the cabinet, there’s no more than a few sips left. You down it in one go, sighing tiredly, “I don’t need you to be here for me. I don’t need you to fix me, Bucky. I’m not some little dolly for you to glue back together. You don’t need to make your fucking amends with me.”

Bucky’s expression hardens, snatching the bottle from your hands, “Watch your fucking tone,” He whispers, cornering you against the counter. There’s a glimmer in his eyes, you see it. The Winter Soldier lurking in the back of his psyche. It sends a perverse thrill down your spine.

“I’m not trying to fix you. You’re not some damn doll, I know that. I’ve always known that.” He pauses, taking a deep breath, “I’m here as your friend, to listen, to support you. But I won’t allow you to take your anger out on me, honey.”

You’ve never been good at knowing when to quit, it’s never been your strong suit. Now is not an exception, you double down on your brattiness.  

“Don’t tell me to watch my fucking tone, I’m not a child.” You hiss, scowling up at him. He towers over you, all muscle and man. Damn him for being so fucking tall, built like a skyscraper. You damn near have to be on your tiptoes at this point, it’s ridiculous. 

He grasps your chin hard, cheeks smushing up and lips forced into a pout, “Watch it, little girl,” He murmurs lowly, licking his lips, “You can be mad. You can scream and shout and curse until you’re blue in the face. But you don’t get to talk to me like that.”

Those sapphire eyes flashed with a mixture of anger, frustration, and a hint of something else, something that made your insides feel molten and heady.

“I’ve taken a lot of shit for the people I love. I’ve been beaten, tortured, and turned into a fucking weapon. But damn if I’m going to stand here and take your anger when all I’m trying to do is be here for you.” Slowly, deliberately, he leans in closer until his breath is hot against your pursed lips, “I know you’re hurting. I know you’re angry. But I won’t let you push me away, dollface. I won’t let you be self-destructive.” His voice drops to a fervent whisper, “You fucking try me, sweetheart. I’ve dealt with terrorist threats and mad titans. Fuck, I’ve been a terrorist. You think a little thing like you is going to scare me off?”

Bucky’s hand snakes around to the back of your neck. You whirl around, the world spinning, and he pushes you face first into the hardwood. You all but shriek in surprise, eyes comically wide. Your left cheek squished on the cool flooring, shoulders pinned down. Your knees prop your ass up in the air, curving your spine into a sharp arch. He has you right where he wants you, submissively positioned. An offering, your perky backside up in the air invitingly. Your body betrays you, a fucking shiver of pleasure wracking through you. You can feel your cunt leaking eagerly at Bucky’s manhandling. 

You wonder if he realizes the effect this is having on you. All thoughts of Steve and his betrayal fly from your mind as your pussy throbs in time with your rapid heartbeat. Shame and arousal burn your cheeks, you squeeze your eyes shut, trying to will away your body’s traitorous reaction. 

This is Bucky. This is fucking Bucky. Steve’s best friend, your weird friend-ish acquaintance. You know him because of Steve. This is a bad idea, horrible. You need to put a stop to this immediately before you actually let him have his way with you on the kitchen floor. Because you’re heartbroken, you’re pissed, and you’re far wetter than you’ve been in months. You’re too vulnerable and fucked up, not to mention drunk to make a sound decision right now. And you know, you fucking know if Bucky asked to rail you within an inch of your life… You’d say yes.

So, “Bucky, uh,” You begin to protest meekly, all the fire and spit on your tongue moments ago evaporating.

The hand that is now pressing down in the middle of your back and pinning your sternum to the ground increases in pressure fractionally. A silent warning of the consequences of pushing back even further.

The words die on your tongue, you focus your gaze on a piece of lint by your face and huff. 

But then, slowly, deliberately he brings his hand down on your upturned ass. Delivering a sharp smack that echoes through the room. A surprised shriek of indignation rips from your throat, equal parts horrified and aroused. The stinging pain radiates across your tender flesh, a stark contrast to the coolness of the floor beneath you. “What in the fuck are you doing?” You demand angrily, scowl deepening.

“Keep testing me, honey, and I’ll show you exactly what happens to bratty little girls who don’t listen,” Bucky punctuates his words with another sharp smack to your ass, watching as the flesh and fat jiggle and redden beneath his organic palm.

He drapes his muscular torso across your back, leaning over your bent form. His breath is hot against your ear, his body a heavy, unyielding weight pressing down on you. It’s a comforting contrast from the rough treatment your butt is receiving, like a warm weighted blanket. 

Despite your best efforts to stay quiet, a tiny breathless noise escapes your throat. Halfway between a moan and a squeak, the flush staining your cheeks darkens further. You bite your bottom lip hard enough to draw blood, simultaneously mortified and turned on.

Momentarily caught off guard, the super soldier freezes, his vibranium hand resting on the curve of your hip. A look of shock and disbelief crosses his handsome features. He had expected anger, perhaps even more fighting back, but never in a million years did he think you would react so unabashedly with desire.

For a moment, Bucky simply stares down at you, taking in the pretty flush of your cheeks, the way your lips parted around that sinful little noise. His cock, hard and heavy, strains through his jeans and presses into the curve of your ass. That all-consuming hunger that HYDRA tortured out of his system returns with a fucking vengeance. His blood sings in his veins at your little noises and rushes to his dick. 

A low, strangled groan escapes his throat as Bucky tries desperately to grasp at the last vestiges of self-control. His hand digs into the fat of your hip, squeezing and kneading almost unconsciously, “Fuck, honey…” He murmurs, his tone ragged with the overwhelming heat consuming you both, “Are you… are you getting off on this?”

Bucky moves impossibly closer, chapped lips brushing against the shell of your ear, “‘Cause if you are, honey… I’ll fucking wreck you and I won’t be held responsible for it.”

“Shut up,” You whine weakly, your shame and arousal fighting for dominance. Despite your half-hearted protest, you arch your spine deeper. You’re soaked, you know it. Embarrassingly soaked, probably through your fucking sweatpants at this point. Your cunt aches, feeling too empty. Bucky’s dark promise of wrecking you? Fuck if it doesn’t make you clench around nothing, needy and debauched. He’s barely touched you and you’re sure if he so much as brushes past your clit, you’ll cum harder than you ever have in your life.

Bucky’s eyes darken with lust as you arch your back, presenting your ass to him like a cat in heat. A low, approving growl rumbles deep in his throat. The hand on your hip slides back to palm the globe of your ass, sinking into the fatty flesh. You hope it bruises, god you want him to mark you. You want that vibranium arm to rip you into pretty little chunks and remake you into something new. Something Steve’s never touched, never kissed, never held.

“Shut up? Honey, the way you’re acting, you don’t want me to shut up,” He taunts, his voice a deep, seductive murmur.

That rips a pathetic whimper from your throat, eyes fluttering shut, “I’m too drunk for this.”

Bucky hums, “Yeah? You’re a big girl, you know how to say stop.”

You shudder, all but melting beneath him, “I’m too sad for this.”

Smack!

This time Bucky’s metal arm meets your ass cheek, you jolt, gasping. You’re panting openly against the hardwood, eyes screwed shut and blushing like a virgin. The intoxicating mixture of stinging pain and molten pleasure are far more powerful than the whiskey in your belly.

The former Winter Soldier all but rips your sweatpants down, bunching them around your knees. The cool air against your newly exposed skin makes you shudder, a perverse shiver racing down your spine. The rough, calloused pads of Bucky’s fingers dig into the tender flesh of your ass cheek, kneading and squeezing the malleable muscle possessively, “Fuck, baby, look at this ass… you’re fucking perfect,” He groans approvingly, hips rocking forward to grind his clothed erection against you, “Steve was a goddamn fool to ever even look at another woman.”

Without warning, he brings down his palm hard against your bare ass, the sharp crack of skin against skin filling the otherwise silent apartment. The biting ache blossoms across your nerves, quickly followed by a rush of heat and traitorous surge of arousal, “Maybe this is what you need, honey. You need to be manhandled, huh? I gotta slap that bratty attitude of yours outta your ass?” Bucky coos mockingly, dragging his blunt nails down the rapidly reddening skin.

You breathe shallowly, fuck it feels like you’re barely breathing as is. This is a side of Bucky you’d never dreamt of seeing, not even in your wildest dreams. He was always so stoic, quiet. It was like you were friends with a brick wall that used to be a sleeper agent. But this? Domineering, taunting, merciless Bucky? You were fucking drenched.

You hum in agreement, wiggling your ass back, too far gone now. Any sense of decorum or boundaries flies out of your little bird brain. All you know is Bucky’s punishing hand and his rock hard dick pressing against you.

He shifts, maneuvering your wrists to hold them firmly over your head with one large hand. He brings the other down on your backside in a series of sharp, biting slaps. A red handprint blooms across your skin, a brand. The pain gives way to a dizzying liquid heat that has you squirming and whining under him.

“Fuck, listen to you… making all those pretty little noises for me,” He pants, hips grinding slowly against the curve of your butt. Bucky was throbbing in his pants, achingly hard and straining angrily in the confines of his jeans, “Keep making those noises and I’ll bust in my fucking pants, honey.”

You can feel it now, how soaked you are. The cotton gusset of your panties clings to your puffy lips like a second skin. The evidence of your arousal is impossible to miss, the dark spot growing rapidly with each slap and taunting murmur. You rub your thighs together needfully, desperate for some kind of relief. Bucky’s gaze narrows in on your needy display, grinning wolfishly, “Fuck, honey, you’re absolutely soaked through,” His lips brush against your ear as he speaks, rolling his hips teasingly into your backside, “Is this what you need, doll? To be put in your place, spanked until you’re a needy, desperate little thing?”

Holding your wrists firmly above your head, his vibranium hand slides around your hip, fingertips brushing teasingly along the sticky fabric of your underwear. The material clings to your swollen, aching folds. 

“You leaking just for me, honey?” Bucky murmurs, nipping at your ear. He brushes the edge of his nail across the swollen bundle of nerves at the apex of your thighs. It’s so light that you almost don’t feel it, but you do and you sob in relief at the slightest touch. Your legs tremble, threatening to give out under you.

Bucky continues his maddeningly light caresses, “So fucking wet and ready for me…”

He circles your clit with the pad of his thumb, cool vibranium meeting feverish, swollen flesh. It swells and throbs under his ministrations. His fingers continue their unhurried exploration of your pussy, a single digit circling your entrance. You feel it push in slowly, sinking in one knuckle at a time. Your pussy flutters and clenches around the invading pressure, eager to be filled.

“This is what you needed all along, isn’t it honey? To be touched like this, to have someone take control and make this needy cunt drip?” He slides a second finger knuckle-deep into your dripping hole, pumping them in and out of your clinging heat as his other hand delivers harsh, biting strikes to your backside, “That’s it, honey, fucking take it.”

The thought of Steve’s vanilla, lackluster lovemaking paled in comparison to the passionate, almost feral way Bucky was claiming your body now. And his dick wasn’t even out yet. He could feel every inch of your silken skin trembling and quaking with need, your breathy cries and whimpering music to his ears. The tender, almost gentlemanly approach Steve usually had taken with you had left you wanting, craving something far more intense and fulfilling.

Bucky eases his fingers out and peels your panties from your sticky cunt, shucking the fabric to bunch it around your knees with your sweatpants. He reaches out once more, his calloused palm cupping the warm, plush flesh of your ass. He could feel the heat radiating off your skin, could feel the way your muscles clenched and trembled beneath his touch. His fingers sank into the giving flesh, squeezing. 

“If you don’t fuck me right now, I think I’ll die,” You whisper, needy with shame burning your cheeks. And in that moment, it may as well have been true. To drive the point home, you wriggle your ass back against his groin, a clear invitation.

Bucky groaned, the sound torn from deep in his chest. His cock throbs and jumps at your needy words, desperate to be balls deep in your tight cunt. Faintly, he realizes he should hesitate, take a moment to think this through. But the way you presented yourself so wantonly to him made every logical thought fly out the window. He couldn’t resist, not you, not like this.

His hands flew to his belt, working it open with shaking hands. He quickly shoved his boxers and jeans down his thighs, freeing his aching cock. It sprang up, long, thick, and flushed a deep, angry red. The swollen head was leaking pre-cum, a bead of moisture rolling down the shaft. He wrapped a hand around it, stroking himself a few times, before shifting closer to you. Bucky sweeps the tip of his cock through your folds, from hole to clit, coating himself in your sticky slickness. 

You gape at his dick, eyes wide as you peer over your shoulder. He’s fucking huge, because of course he is. Thick and girthy, this is going to hurt, you realize. And though that should deter you, or at the very least make you anxious, it only makes you wetter.

“Fuck,” You whisper, struggling to form a coherent thought, “You’re fucking huge. That’s… that can’t fit. It’s physically impossible.”

The bastard smirks, rubbing the small of your back, “Oh, it’ll fit, honey. I’ll make sure of that.”

You already feel your inner muscles tensing up, trying to force out something that isn’t even breaching you yet. A high-pitched keening noise rips from your throat as the bulbous tip sinks into your wet heat.

Bucky shudders as he feels your tight little cunt clenching and fluttering around just the swollen head of his cock. Fuck, you were so goddamn small, so fucking tight. He could feel every inch of your silky walls squeezing him, trying to push his thick tip out of your needy hole. It took every ounce of control not to just slam forward and bury himself to the hilt in your scorching heat.

He grit his teeth, his breath coming out in a low growl as he forced himself to hold still, to wait for your okay before he fucked into you. His hands gripped your hips hard enough to leave bruises, holding you in place as he fought for some semblance of restraint. Where was all that goddamn self-discipline that HYDRA beat into him? His dick was barely inside you and he was already a slave to your nubile body. 

He rocked his hips slightly, just barely, letting you feel the thick, spongy head of his cock kiss your entrance with each shallow thrust. “Tell me to move, honey.” Bucky pants, sounding utterly wrecked, “Let me move.”

All you can offer is a small, pathetic whine in response. 

That’s all the confirmation Bucky needs. He starts to move then, his hips rocking in shallow little thrusts as he eases inch after inch of his monstrous dick inside you. His grip tightens on your hips, digging into the plush flesh of your ass as he keeps you in place for each teasing thrust of his cock.

“God, honey, I’m gonna fuck this needy hole just like you want,” He growls, sweat beading on his forehead from the effort of holding back, “Gonna rub this thick fucking tip all over this slutty pussy until you’re dripping and begging for my cock. Fuck… you’re so goddamn tight. Squeezing my cock so fucking hard.”

“W-we shouldn’t be doing this,” You gasp, screwing your eyes shut against the onslaught of sensations. You’re already feeling overstimulated, too warm and too full. Part of you screams to crawl away from the excruciating sensation of being impaled on such a thick cock. You try your best to breathe through it, willing your body to relax. Your cunt weeps, rivulets of slick dripping down and around Bucky’s dick. You feel the little droplets running down your thighs, mixing with your sweat.

Bucky hisses through clenched teeth as he feels your arousal dripping obscenely down his length, your thighs trembling. He loops an arm around your hips, holding you up as he watches the way his dick is swallowed up by your tight hole. He could see you struggling, hear the conflict in your whimper, the way you whispered this was wrong even as your body screamed for his touch. He knew he should listen to the voice in both your heads telling him to stop, to pull away before they crossed a line from which there could be no return… but fuck, he was so goddamn close to the edge already.

His hips rocked faster, fucking his cock in and out of your clutching heat with rough, rapid thrusts. A wet, obscene symphony of squelching and skin slapping against skin fills the room, mixing with his labored breathing and low, strained grunts of pleasure.

“We… fuck.. We shouldn’t…” He repeated your words dumbly, but even as he said it, his cock kept moving. You could feel the tip kissing your cervix with each throbbing, leaking thrust. “But fuck, honey, you feel too good… too goddamn good. We can’t stop now,” Bucky leans forward, pressing his chest against your back, his lips brushing down the side of your neck, “Fuck, gonna make this pretty cunt mine. Fill it up real good, honey.”

“Oh, god,” You gasp, a fresh wave of arousal flooding through you at his words. Your toes curl, fingernails scraping across the floor, “I want that, please. Wreck me.”

The desperate, pleading tone of your voice shatters the remnants of Bucky’s already frayed control. His eyes roll back at your words, groaning. He feels your velvet walls clench and ripple around his throbbing dick, grasping him like a hot fist. Without warning, his hand slides from your hip to your dripping sex, rough fingers finding your swollen, aching clit.

He teases the sensitive bundle of nerves, rubbing tight circles around it with the pad of his thumb as he fucks into you hard and fast. His hips rock faster in tandem with the finger on your clit, each thrust pushing a gush of your juices around his cock and down your thighs. 

You feel like you’re on fire, every nerve alight and singing Bucky’s name. You bite down on your fist, attempting to hold back the shrieks of pleasure bubbling up in your chest, “Right there, god, please!” You squeal, trembling with the burning need to cum, “God, don’t stop. Please don’t fucking stop, right there.”

Your whiny, wanton moans bring Bucky’s climax hurtling at him like a freight train. He ducks his head down, sinking his teeth into the meat of your shoulder and shudders. The feeling of your slick little cunt gripping his dick was maddening, and the needy, desperate sounds spilling from your lips were pushing him closer to the edge, “Fuck, honey. Just like that, keep screaming for me. Gonna blow my load in this hot little cunt.”

You whine in response, Bucky’s rough treatment of your clit sending you careening over the edge. Your cunt clamps down violently, slick release gushing out of your hole. Lips parting in a silent scream, you shudder, shattering beneath him. Bucky lets out a guttural moan, his voice raw with pleasure as you cum hard on his cock. A puddle of sticky wetness forms between your legs on the floor, dripping down the fat of your thighs. Bucky can feel his own orgasm building fast and hard, his shaft throbbing and pulsing as he caresses your clit through your aftershocks.

“Yes, fuck! That’s it, honey. Soak me, pretty girl, gonna- fuck!” He grunts, his hips slamming forward and burying his thick cock to the hilt in your spasming pussy with one hard thrust. He groans long and low as your sex milks him for all he’s worth, his hot seed flooding your insides.

Bucky shudders, hips jerking as he empties his heavy balls inside you, thick ropes of pearlescent cum coating your fluttering walls. He presses his hips tight to your ass, grinding against you. That’s enough for your legs to quit on you. His eyes widen as your legs tremble and then give out, your body going boneless and pliant in his arms. He tightens his grip on your hips, hauling you back up onto your knees. Bucky’s heart races, a wild bird in his ribcage, as he struggles to catch his breath in the aftermath of his intense orgasm.

Slowly, almost reluctantly, he eases his softening cock out of your well-used hole. A river of his thick cum oozes out after him, dripping down your inner thighs, joining the puddle of slick on the floor. Bucky can’t help but feel satisfaction at how fucked-out you look, sporting his bite mark on your shoulder. His hands slide around to cup the soft swell of your belly, his palms splayed across the gentle curve. He could feel the heat of your skin, the way it flushed and erupted in little goosebumps from his touch. His gaze heavy-lidded, dark with lingering lust as he murmurs in your ear, “We can’t do this again, right honey?”

[mmegwrld]

𖤓.ೃ࿔* WARM + jeon jungkook

you and jungkook are college roommates, but sometimes you two hook up. all the time, actually. he continuously pushes you away.. and you stay.

word count : 3.8k

genre : super angsty, some smut some fluff… a little bit of everything. MDNI!

warnings : HEAVILY INSPIRED BY WARM BY ARIANA GRANDE !! guys i’m sorry it’s so angsty, hurt.. comfort, situationship jk, you’re too patient with him.. crying, slow build up? a little bit of smut - praises, oral (m receiving), JK IS AN ASSHOLE IN SOME PARTS

a/n : this is my first time doing anything like this so pleaseee give me grace!! 🤗💐✨🐬🌞 and THIS IS NOT PROOFREAD!!

masterlist

the first time you met jeon jungkook was when you first went into your shared dorm room. it was an apartment sized dorm, with a kitchen, bathroom and two rooms. you didn’t expect much with college. a dorm, hard classes and an awkward roommate is what you thought about. you knew you were going to get some random person, but you didn’t expect him, jungkook. your first impression was great, some random hot guy i have to live with for the next four years.

his surfer cut, full tattooed sleeve, toned body. he barely glances at you, he doesn’t even say a word until you do. you wonder how long he was here for. you set down your bags and look at him, “so you’re jungkook?” you finally speak up. you’re met with an “mhm.” what? mhm? that’s it? no questions about you as if he already knew what you looked like. whatever. rude, cool, whatever. you roll your eyes with a huff, “can’t wait to be friends with my cool roommate,” you mutter. jungkook finally takes a real glance at you, “good luck with that,” he smirks softly. oh.. ohhh, he’s that type of quiet, you thought. quiet, cocky, an asshole. fine, i don’t need to be friends with him anyways.

sadly, that’s not how roommates work. you have to speak. nights in your shared dorm meant soft brushes past each other. it means accidentally catching him laughing quietly at something on his phone when he thinks you aren’t looking. it also meant studying silently together, glancing at each other. it made you want to know him. he was interesting… an asshole, but interesting.

jungkook when he first met you. he knew you were going to be a handful. you went to a nice college, your luggages were expensive. you had the newest phone. nice clothes. everything. you two have been coexisting with each other for months now. you tease him sometimes for being so silent but he acted like he didn’t care. doesn’t matter.

it happened so casually, he almost didn’t even notice. one night, he saw you. not just on a regular thing, he really sees you. it was a late night for the both of you. he went out with jimin and taehyung to some all night ramen restaurant. he entered the dorm, seeing you in the living room. you sit on the floor with your back to the couch, half asleep while reading some crime textbook. your laptop screen glows softly, highlighting your puffy cheeks… the way your lashes flutter when you’re fighting sleep.

jungkook felt something shift because he’s seen you a hundred times before, but never like this. not this soft, so vulnerable. not in a way that makes his chest tighten. he sets down his keys and walks over to you. he watches you exhale, your head tipping back slightly. his fingers twitch softly. he’s aware… he’s suddenly aware of how close you two have become over the months. he notices the little things he’s remembered. the way you hum softly while you think or the way you shiver whenever you’re super nervous. that’s it, he thinks to himself. i’m fucked. he quickly realizes you’re not just his roommate. you’re her… and he doesn’t know what to do with that.

he gathers your stuff and puts them on your desk in your room. he plugs up your phone and laptop before heading back to you. he thinks for a second. should he pick you up and take you to your bed, leave you there or wake you up and make you walk. he sighs and picks you up slowly, bridal style. you groan softly, “wha—“ “it’s me..” jungkook says softly as he puts you onto your bed. you flutter your eyes open, “jungkook?” you barely whisper. he doesn’t reply as he leaves the room. you furrow your brows and quickly fall back asleep.

jungkook never spoke about his feelings— to anybody. but when he realized he wasn’t just feeling nothing towards you, he couldn’t stop thinking about it. so he does the only thing a guy would do, call his friends. jimin and taehyung meet him at some cafe in the downtown area. jungkook sits across from them, stirring his iced coffee like it personally offended him. jimin raises his left brow, “so what’s wrong?” he asks. jungkook groans, “ugh.. it’s— it’s my fucking roommate,” he finally admits. taehyung bucks his head back, “your roommate?” he questions. jungkook looks at them, “yes.”

“the hot one?” taehyung adds. jungkook shakes his head, “she’s— that’s not the point,” he sighs. jimin and taehyung exchange a look as jimin speaks up, “ohh… you like her.” “i don’t— i— i think i do.” silence was met with the three before the two start laughing. jimin slaps jungkook’s shoulder, “bro.. we’ve been called this months ago! as soon as we seen her!” “you live with her and it took you this long to realize?” taehyung adds. jungkook glares at them, “you guys are no help,” he shakes his head again and leans back. taehyung tilts his head as he stops laughing, “so, whats the problem? you like her… she kind of likes you sometimes— what’s the matter?”

jungkook hesitates before replying, “what if i mess it up?” his voice is more quiet now, more vulnerable. jimin and taehyung knew how jungkook was with girls. he didn’t like to date. he didn’t like talking to them. he was by far the worst guy to date in their grade. taehyung sighs, “you already like her. you’re already in the deep. what’s worse— messing up or never trying?” he asks. jungkook hates how he’s right. but jungkook knew he would mess it up. he always does. with everything. maybe this time could be different.

the first time you two hooked up was after some frat party. the night felt electric. you and jungkook have been dancing around each other for weeks now. making each other laugh, teasing, not admitting you both want the same thing. you sat in between his legs as he throws his head back. he shivers at the warmth of your mouth. his tattooed hand makes its way into your hair, “just like that..” he moans. you bob your head up and down on his shaft. jungkook… he was big. a big muscle guy and a big dick guy. you jerk the rest you couldn’t fit in your mouth. he looks down at you, “you’re so beautiful, (name). i like seeing you everyday. i fuckin love your cooking.”

you furrow your brows at his confession as you lick his tip, “you do?” you ask softly. he nods, “i like you, (name). i really do. i want to be with you,” he soon cums in your mouth. it was about 15 minutes after. you brush your teeth as he walks in, “did you mean it?” you ask and glance to him in the mirror. he looks at you, “mean what?” “you like seeing me everyday, you love my cooking. you like me.” it was silence, “i dunno what you’re talking about.” what? what the fuck does he even mean— he was fucking cumming when he said that. is that what he does? he gets all sappy and vulnerable right before his burst? fuck that.

somehow, you get sick. like really sick. stuffy nose, groggy voice, wrapped in five covers. jungkook checks in on you, “you good?” he asks. you smile, “yeah. totally.” he says nothing back and leaves. an hour later, he walks into your room with medicine, some warm soup— what the hell? a stuffed bunny? you give him a knowing look as he places the medicine and soup on your bed side table. he takes out the three water bottles from his pockets. he looks back at you and puts the bunny next to you, “don’t make it weird. it was on sale.” you blink up at him, “a stuffed bunny?” your voice hoarse. he huffs and gives you two pills and a open water bottle, “shut up and take the medicine.” you laugh, quickly coughing. you clear your throat, “it looks like you.” he furrows his eyebrows and leaves the room. later on that night, he checks on you again. you’re fast asleep, tightly hugging the bunny. he brushes a hair from your forehead, “i got you.” he whispers.

you guys have hooked up a bunch more times at this point. it’s the summer and there’s parties every night. you two stumble into the dorm after a party. it’s near 2am… you think. you stopped keeping time after your first shot. jungkook holds your heels as his jacket drape over your shoulders. you sigh and plop onto the couch. he sits next to you, throwing your legs onto his lap. “you okay?” he asks softly, massaging your swollen feet. you nod and sigh, “all good.” he stares at you with a unreadable expression, “k.” he kisses your ankle softly, “so beautiful.” you knew what he wanted. just like how you thought, he gets all romantic when he’s needy. you look at him, “can we just lay here?” you ask. he looks at you, “course. give me a kiss,” he helps you up. you kiss his pierced lip, laughing between the kisses. he rubs your butt slowly, “all mine,” he whispers, biting your bottom lip. his tongue slides into your mouth as he spanks you softly. you yelp and pull away, “you’re bad.”

he never took you on a date. but he takes a whole other girl on a date?! oh. hell. no. your friend sent you a picture of them at your fucking restaurant. you scoff and reply fucking asshole. he walks back in as you sat on the couch, like everything is normal. but you felt like you just got tossed out. you wait until he says hi. once he does, you scoff. “you’re a real piece of shit,” you looks at him. jungkook’s eyebrows furrow, “what?” “you took a girl on a date.” “i’ve been doing that.” it hits you. the whole time… the whole time he was hooking up with you at night, he was taking that bitch out during the day. “what about it?” he adds. you scoff once more, “what about it— you been having sex with me for months and taking out a whole different girl.”

he doesn’t even flinch. his eyes flicker to yours for a second than back out the window, “we’re not dating. you knew this was just.. whatever.” the words hit you like a slap in the face. the truth of it. the reality that you’ve been pretending this whole time, pretending it was something it wasn’t. you shake your head, tearing your gaze away from his figure, “i don’t want to be your whatever.” “that’s not my problem,” he replies, cold. you hate how calm he is. how unaffected. it only fuels the fire inside of you. you want to scream. you want to make him feel something. but instead, you just walk past him, your voice shakes. “fine. don’t worry about it. i won’t either.” you slam the door to your room, the sound echoing in the silence. jungkook stands there for a moment, his jaw tight. but he says nothing.

you sit in your room, tapping on your journal. you stare up at the ceiling. you cannot shake off the feeling. that very familiar anger bubbling up. you don’t even understand why you’re so bothered. you guys aren’t talking… dating. nothing. just roommates. strictly roommates. the next few days are tense. jungkook doesn’t act any differently—still distant, still the same nonchalant attitude—but the air between you guys is thick. everytime your paths cross in the dorm, there’s this silent battle happening, neither of you acknowledging the real issue. you, on the other hand, can’t shake it. you try to act normal—just like you always do—but every time you see him, everytime your mind wanders back to that night, you reminded of how cold he was. how little he seemed to care.

it was another summer night for you guys. you sat with some random guy, trying to fulfill the feeling that jungkook gave you. he stares at you tensely. hobi and jimin walk up to him, “earth to kookie!” hobi waves his hand in his face. jungkook looks at the two, “what?” jimin looks back to you and the guy, “ohhh… you messed it up. just wait til taehyung hears about this. he owes me $150.” jungkook smacks his lips, “shut up. i just.. i don’t owe her anything.” hobi knew about their situation.. probably the most considering he’s friends with you and jungkook. hobi hums, “you owe her an explanation.”

jungkook spots you walking away, “i don’t.” “yes… you do. she’s given herself to you. communicated with you. what have you done besides give her mixed signals and rub in her face that you don’t like her when you do?” hobi shrugs as he tells jungkook the truth. jungkook sighs as he stares at you, by yourself. “go talk to her,” jimin says. jungkook shakes his head, “she hadn’t talked to me in weeks.” “(name) is a patient person, just go,” hobi pushes him. you sit by the bonfire by yourself, with a random beer in your lap. you feel a sudden presence next to you. you look away from the fire and see.. oh. him. you look away as he stares at you, “can we talk?” he says softly, like he’s scared.

you stay silent as you stare into the fire. jungkook watches the way the fire lights up your face, your features. your eyes looks hurt. he looks at his lap, “i fucked up,” he says, his tone low. you look at him, your lips pressed into a thin line. he runs a hand through his hair, “i never meant to hurt you, (name). i— i never felt this way about somebody and i don’t know how to handle it.” your eyes narrow out of anger, confusion and mostly hurt. you didn’t know if you wanted to forgive him, but you wanted to hear him out. he sighs, “i know i’ve been really cold to you. i know i pushed you away and told you i don’t care. but i do, i care so much about you.”

you finally speak up, “then why did you take her out? why did you tell me i was a whatever thing to you. i have to see you everyday. i wake up and i see you, you’re the last thing i see when i sleep.” your voice quiet. he swallows hard, “i didn’t think you would get hurt that much.” you stay quiet for longer, your gaze hardening. you were angry, but hurt lingered like a shadow, “you can’t just keep pretending everything’s nothing, jungkook. i don’t work that way.” his hand touches yours, it’s a small gesture but he’s trying. “this doesn’t just go away, jungkook. you have to prove yourself. stand on your words,” you say. he nods, “i’ll prove it to you.”

you were so fucking wrong. he was literally a piece of shit. he treated you like a booty call. you’ve had enough. enough of his mixed signals, enough of pretending you’re okay with something you’re not. you guys were laid in his room. you sat on the end as he laid down, “i can’t do this anymore.” you shake your head. your voice wavers as you hold his gaze, “i need more,” you say barely whispering. he stares at you, jaw clenched. you finally think you’re gonna hear what you’ve been wanting to— thinking he’s going to stop you. “i get it.” that’s it. no fights. no pleading, just.. stupid fucking understanding. as if he always knew you’d leave before him. so you do, you left the dorm for a couple of days.

it’s been weeks since you stopped trying. since you stopped waiting for him. and jungkook? he hates it. he sees you laughing with some guy outside their dorm, sees the way you don’t hesitate before answering his texts. that used to be him. that night, when you come home, jungkook is already there, sitting on your bed like he belongs there, “he’s not me.” his voice is quiet but firm. you stare blankly at him, “and?” it starts with a fight. it always does. jungkook’s distant again. canceling plans, avoiding you, acting like what you guys have isn’t the one thing keeping them both sane. and you’re done pretending like you don’t care, “if you don’t want this anymore, just say it,” you finally snap, standing in the middle of your dorm, arms crossed to keep yourself from shaking. jungkook exhales sharply, running a hand through his hair, “it’s not that simple.”

“it is,” you argue. “either you want me, or you don’t. but i can’t keep doing this—this… half-assed love story where im the only one who actually gives a damn.” that hits. you see it in the way his jaw clenches, the way his fists tighten like he’s holding back something big. “you think i don’t care?” his voice is quiet. dangerous. you scoff, “you don’t.” silence. and then— “i care too much.” you stare at him. he steps closer, eyes dark, voice rough. “you want the truth? fine. i’m scared, okay? i don’t know how to do this. i don’t know how to love you the way you deserve. and it’d be so much easier if i didn’t care—but i do. i fucking do.” your breath catches,“then let me in.” jungkook stares at you, and for the first time, you see it—the fear, the way his whole life he’s been taught to guard his heart like it’s a war zone. but then, slowly, carefully, he reaches for you and when you don’t pull away—when you actually lean in—he exhales like he’s been holding his breath for years. “okay.” his voice is barely above a whisper. “i’ll try.” and that’s all you need. because for jungkook? that’s everything.

the first morning after the talk, everything feels… different. jungkook wakes up first, lying beside you in bed, staring at the ceiling like the weight of actually trying is sinking in. you stir, blinking up at him, voice still groggy. “you look like you regret everything.” he scoffs, but his fingers tighten slightly on the blanket. “no. just… thinking.” you hum, stretching. “about?” jungkook hesitates. then, finally—“how not to mess this up.” your heart clenches, because that? that’s growth. instead of pushing her away, he’s trying. so you smile, soft and teasing,“well, step one? maybe kiss me good morning.” he rolls his eyes but leans in anyway, pressing a kiss to your forehead, his lips lingering. “better?” he murmurs. you grin, “much.”

you guys were bound to slip up. you are used to being his exception—the only one he lets in. but now that you guys are together, you want more. you want the soft parts of him, the ones he keeps hidden even from himself. and jungkook? he still doesn’t know how to give that. “you don’t talk to me,” you snap one night. “you keep shutting me out like you’re still scared of this—of us.” jungkook clenches his jaw, eyes flashing. “i don’t shut you out—” “yes, you do!” you throw your hands up. “and i get it, okay? you’re not used to this. but if you don’t let me in, then what’s the point?” he’s quiet. too quiet. and for a moment, you think he’ll walk away. but then— “i don’t want to lose you.” it’s barely a whisper, but it hits you like a confession. like a breaking point. your face softens, “than let me stay.” jungkook exhales sharply—then, slowly, nods. it’s a start.

you guys walking home late one night, hands brushing but not quite holding. you frown, shoving your hands in your pockets. “you still don’t like PDA, huh?” you tease, but there’s something real in your voice. jungkook glances at you—then, suddenly, he reaches for your hand, threading your fingers together. you stop in your tracks, staring at him, “kook?” he shrugs, playing it off, “i can try, right?” your heart melts. “yeah,” you whisper, squeezing his hand. “you can.” and as you guys keep walking, you swear he holds on just a little tighter.

[unopposablethumbsao3]

Med school student and noted old man fucker Julian Bashir taking his daddy issues to get drunk one night and running into noted old man Curzon Dax--Curzon, of course, is like "oh hey, free twink", and fucks him in a bathroom stall before heading out to continue his evening of, I don't know, head butting Klingons and both causing and resolving interstellar diplomatic crises. Julian never actually gets his name, and continues with his hot mess express voyage to salutatorian and Deep Space Nine.

Years later, Jadzia Dax on a ship to her new posting, only half paying attention to the sort-of-familiar twink CMO who's very awkwardly hitting on her. She knows she's seen this guy before, she just can't quite figure out where, like, this is his very first posting, he's a brand new graduate from Starfleet medical, and Jadzia's never actually been to Earth herself, in fact the last time Dax was in San Francisco was ... Oh. Oh no.

And of course, at first this is just a little awkward for her--she doesn't like all the things Curzon used to get up to, but like, they were mostly pretty harmless, and she certainly doesn't begrudge him a quick hookup with a very pretty young med student, even if he was possibly a little drunker than she'd like. And of course, it's not like Julian's ever going to know--he was wasted, and Curzon never even told him his name, so really, it's not a problem for Jadzia to put it aside and just be a professional. He's a colleague! No worries! That's that!

Except then she starts to get to know Julian. And beyond the fact that he's a damn good doctor and, it turns out, a deeply loyal friend, the closer they get, the more she starts to see flashes of how vulnerable he is under all the bluster and bravado--he puts on a hell of a brave front, but there's something wounded about him, and a deep, deep need for other people's approval, especially from potential father figures. All of which adds up to Jadzia feeling worse and worse about what happened between him and Curzon. But of course at this point, it feels like it's a little too late for her to say anything. What would it achieve other than embarrassing him, and adding a layer of complication to what's somehow become one of her closest, most important friendships.

Which is why she instead quietly swears a Klingon blood oath that she will protect this twink with her life if it comes to it--that's her pet twink now and anybody messing with him in any way for any reason is going to have to answer to her.

And yes this also means that when Julian and Garak start dating, Jadzia turns up at Garak's shop at closing time with some very pointed questions and an even pointier knife, and refuses to leave until she's absolutely certain that Garak's intentions are honourable (insofar as he's capable of honourable intentions) AND that he knows that if he hurts Julian, she will in fact be carving out his heart and eating it in the middle of the Promenade. Which of course means that Garak figures out what happened between Julian and Curzon because you can't go off on him like that without him instantly clocking the ulterior motives, so now they're at mutually assured destruction, which of course is how they also start to become very good friends (yes Worf hates this).

Also, Jadzia does NOT die during the war--she's Julian's best man when he marries Garak on Cardassia ten years later (neither she nor Garak ever tell Julian about the whole Curzon thing, or the whole I-will-eat-your-heart thing, though he lowkey knows SOMETHING is up because they won't stop exchanging meaningful nods every time they get a little drunk together).