#art is a great way to do it but I think I need to think long and hard what I want to do with the rest of my life

[plummy-squish]

THIS IS MY NEW RELIGION!

Im going to go off topic then come around.

Growing up Mormon i was so sick of this expectation put on me to be perfect, especially being perceived as a girl in the church. There is this look i needed to present, vibe i needed to give off, and value to give especially the men in my life. They also demonized feeling emotions and making mistakes and learning from them. I genuinely stopped me from being me and i didn’t even realize.

It also irks me when a guy says he wants to “leave behind this legacy”. They often are thinking of this movie characters saving the world, or pulling this huge heist, or having lots of money and fame and this huge personality. I feel like they grew up being told if they don’t do something great with their lives that it was meaningless. And they are always the worst guys to be around, always talking about the future and feeling depressed about who they are right now.

If we go into a room with others we have to provide value to it always and especially with a personality and experiences we just aren’t or don’t have. And that’s ok! We will make ourselves miserable doing that.

CANT WE JUST BE HUMAN?

If you want to do something great with your lives that’s fine but i hope that comes from a genuine place of desire. I feel like it’s been engrained into us to do something and be perfect. And that’s just not realistic of being human. Most of us won’t live up to that and all of us aren’t perfect. I wish we would place more value in contributing to a room or the world the ways we do best.especially in this capitalist society we live in we are told we have to do something.

If you look a Brennan now he’s doing just that. He’s created this community of people that provide value because they are able to be them selves in this community. Therefore providing more than they would have force to fit into this box people make up. (If you want to think of it as providing, i like to think of it a thriving). He has unintentionally created this so called legacy by doing what makes him happy. (If we all strived to do what actually made us happy we would “contribute to society” more than we will if our goal is just to contributing to society. But also there is just value in being alive).

This need to fit in a box set by others and to avoid being perfect has limited growth but especially happiness for me. I think there is beauty in enjoying life as we are and living for the day to day moments not in what we contribute to others. Why can’t we just believe we are valuable because we are alive?

There is beauty in uniqueness, there is growth in enjoying living, there is art in imperfections.

“Can’t i just be me? Is that not allowed?” -messy by Lola young

feeling so many feelings about all of this

[gothamrain]

THAT’S NOT A PART OF YOUR ASSIGNMENT

Dick Grayson x art student!reader || 1.6k words

Warnings: smut, naked cuddling, blow job, slight exhibitionism but not quite

Summary: You have an assignment for figure drawing and thankfully have a willing model (along with yourself). Time to take some reference photos. Unfortunately for one horny boy, this means he can’t move. lol poor guy.

a/n: goddd i’m a senior so i’ve spent a bajillion hours in figure by now oof. so here, let me indulge my fantasies. need me a muse like Dick Grayson… well, maybe it’s for the best, since this fic shows how i wouldnt be getting anything done with him around agdjhsajhfk

“Hey, Dickie, can you come in here for a second?” you called and instantly you heard the sock feet of your fiancé come padding towards you.

“Do you need me for something, Baby?”

You were too distracted with the task at hand to pick up on his flirting, “Yeah, just come lay on the bed for a bit.”

“Oooh. Of course~” Dick grinned as he eyed the camera you were adjusting on its tripod before he flopped down onto the bed, “any particular pose?”

“Nah I’m just fixing it right now, you can do whatever as long as you stay on the bed,”

You had meant, like, maybe he could scroll on his phone while you worked. But he took that as ‘whatever sexy pose you want, Babe’ and began showing off his lithe body. Little distracting, but you were used to him enough to successfully ignore it. But damn, was it hard. Especially when he turned around so you could get a nice view of his ass.

“So, we shooting sex tapes or what?”

You rolled your eyes, “No, we’re not shooting sex tapes. I need references for a piece for Figure. We’re supposed to be focusing on the ways the human body will fit together, so we need at least two models,”

“Sound’s intimate,” he schmoozed.

You sighed, “Yeah, that’s why I thought I should just draw us. I like the intimacy of the way we fit together—“

“So we are making sex tapes,”

“No. We are going to just be cuddling, I'm not going up in front of my class to present an explicit piece of us fucking, thank you.”

“But we are going to be naked?”

You sighed even more dramatically this time, “Yes, Dick, we are going to be naked. I have to ‘show off the beauty of the human form’…”

He raised his eyebrows at you suggestively, you shook your head, “and I'll admit, I wanted it to be a little sensual, okay, but it's not like that,"

You went back to fiddling with the camera, ignoring his childish snickering. You positioned it perfectly, able to capture Dick's full body but not too much background with it. Hopefully cramming yourself in there too wont crop anything weird.

Humming to yourself, you grabbed the tiny remote for the tripod and tested it to make sure it was working. Doing so, you accidentally got a shot of Dick taking off his shirt. The way his stomach and chest were flexed as he lifted the shirt over his head was beautiful. Just what you wanted, art. You didn’t delete this test shot like you would’ve done on any other day. Don’t tell Dick.

“Little eager there, Babe?” you flirted.

He had already moved on to stripping off his sweatpants. As he threw the garment across the room you noticed he uh, had a little problem growing. Ah..

“The faster we get these pictures the faster I can convince you to “take a nap” before patrol tonight,” he slipped his boxers off as he talked to you.

“Uh. Yeah. Um,” you started unbuttoning your shirt, “Let’s get this done, yeah…”

Great, now you’re flustered. You’d think you’d learn your lesson by now, to not use your own boyfriend as a model. But he was so pretty, it was always so tempting. If you had your way, all you’d ever draw were portraits of Dick. If you did that, though, you’d quickly get known as “that kid who only draws local celebrity Dick Grayson” around your university, which would most likely get shortened to just “Dick Kid”, and you did not need that kind of bullying in your life right now. You’re a professional studio artist now, goddamnit.

You heard the springs of the bed as Dick laid back down, “So what were you thinking?”

“…” man what were you thinking again? Oh, “I wanted to start with a shot of us spooning. You know, how the legs fit together, how a face fits into the crook of a neck,”

He smiled, “Do I get to be the big spoon?”

“I guess,” you teased.

You took off your own pants and underwear and gave your hair a good finger comb through before laying down on the bed with Dick. He smirked as you cozied up to him. He placed his hand on your hip as he repositioned himself.

“So you want my leg like—”

“Uh huh,” you felt the heat of his bare body melting into yours. And his errection nestling into your ass. Geez…

“And my face—“

He nuzzled into the side of your neck, brushing against the sensitive artery there. Hoo boy, perhaps this is a bad idea. Dick hummed against your throat as he began peppering the area with light kisses.

Mmm, perhaps it’s a really good idea.

“Dick, pose,”

He stopped his onslaught on your neck for a moment, keeping still as you pressed the button on the remote to take a few shots.

“Thank you,” you shuffled over to check the photos, much to Dick’s disappointment at you leaving his embrace, “these are good, next pose,”

“What now,”

You adjusted the angle on the camera, “okay now sit up, on your knees,”

He did as you told him and you crawled back over.

“Uh, sorry, I promise I’m trying to keep professional thoughts right now,” he gestured to his now very prominent boner.

“That’s fine, Baby,” you snickered as you started straddling him, “they’re not gonna be able to see it. This one’s about how legs perfectly bracket a waist,”

“Hands?”

“On my chest, with your fingers in between the ribs,”

Dick was a little confused on what you meant there for a moment but he found it. You were right, his fingers did perfectly slot in between the bones of your ribcage.

Took everything in him to not start running his hands up and down your sides, feeling more of you beneath his fingertips. The gentle way your skin was always soft, no matter where he touched you drove him wild.

And it’s like you knew, the way you grinned and shook your head.

“Here,” you dipped your face towards him and he greedily took the kiss you offered.

It was just a chaste thing, when he tried to deepen it you pulled away. Dick had to fight back the whine in his throat.

“Forehead to mine pleas—“ he gingerly complied, “there we go,”

Dick’s eyelids were pressed tightly shut, but he heard the click of the shutter go off a few times. You then disentangled yourself from him to go check the photos. He missed you immediately, even though you were just right over there.

Damn. This was horrible. Torture. His punishment from the gods like Tantalus’s fruit. He’d rather clean the Batmobile with a toothbrush than have you naked in his lap and not be able to do anything about it.

Okay so maybe he was being a little overdramatic. Can you blame him, though? He can’t just hold his everything in his hands and not make love to them. It feels irreverent.

“Okay, last one”

Thank fucking god. He could feel his cock throbbing and it was starting to get painful.

“Come get close to the camera, this one doesn’t need to be fullbody,”

He crawled closer as you adjusted it once again, “what’s up with this one?”

“How hands were made to cup our curves. I’ll need you to hold my chin in your hands,”

Done. You don’t have to ask him twice. But damn, as you positioned yourself to how you wanted, was it hard to not just start kissing you.

He gazed lovingly at you as he gently played his part, holding you for the camera (and a bunch of students, apparently) to see. He hoped he was doing you justice in this, in all of these. Although, a part of him didn’t want them to be good, didn’t want other people to see how beautiful you could be for him. Your home was his own private little gallery with you as the star and maybe he didn’t want to share.

Gatekeeping art. Tsk…

The shutter clicked and flashed but you didn’t really care anymore. That was the last picture, after all, and Dick was looking at you like he was about to devour you.

And you were right, as he realized he had a greenlight and dove right in.

Dick wasted no time in shoving his tongue into your mouth this time, lapping at your molars. Two can play at that game, so you licked into his mouth as well, only for him to fight dirty running his tongue along the roof of your mouth in flicks. A shiver ran down your spine as Dick pulled your face, still cupped in his hands, further into his. He moaned with the action, and damn, he really was trying to devour you.

He continued his attack on your mouth, sliding his tongue along yours in the most delicious way. You felt the vibrations of another groan as you let your hands start to wander down his body. His trapeze artist tits pecs.. his grabbable hips… his very hard cock weeping precum onto your hand as you fisted it. He pulled out of your mouth with a jolt, panting for air.

“Please—“ he was cut off by a surprisingly high-pitched noise breaking out his throat as you went down, wasting no time in taking him into your mouth.

You took him as far as you could, the head hitting the back of your throat. You pressed your tongue flat into the underside of his cock, slowly dragging it along his tender shaft before pulling off of him again. He made a strangled noise as you looked up at him.

“What?” why’d you stop before you even started?

“Well look,” you placed your tongue back into the divet where his tip met his shaft, “it’s like my tongue was made to be there. Fits together perfectly,”

God, you were going to be the death of him.

[rottenpumpkin13]

What genre of music do you think ACGSZ would like best? What would be their favorite song(s)?

Sephiroth: Gothic rock because nothing says "I have complicated feelings about my place in the world" quite like orchestral arrangements mixed with heavy guitar. He likes classical music and gravitates toward things like Moonlight Sonata. Also, organ music. Not in a religious way, just in a "this sounds like something I'd listen to while waiting for the universe to whisper its cruelest truths" kind of way.

Genesis: Musical theater, art rock, classical (specifically opera, because of course), and has a secret pop playlist named "DO NOT OPEN - MISSION BRIEFS" filled with ff7's version of Britney Spears and Lady Gaga. Claims to not like country, but he secretly does, because he's their resident farm boy. His favorite track is no doubt something from Loveless.

Angeal: Classic rock, any type of rock tbh. There's just something about the power and honesty in rock music that clicks with him. He's got a soft spot for country too, the twang of a guitar, the voice that sounds like it's been through the wringer, and lyrics that speak of heartbreak, hard work, and finding peace in the struggle.

Zack: Literally everything. Will unironically listen to chocobo warks remixed into dubstep. Has a playlist called "SQUATS!!!" that has every single genre of music known to man. Favorite track: changes every 2.5 seconds, current favorite is probably something called "Epic Moogle Bass Drops Vol.3"

Cloud: He likes soft piano, acoustic guitar, and those slow, ambient tracks that sound like they're made to drift away to. Rock music is also great, but he needs to be in the mood for it. Has a secret playlist of mountain folk songs he listens to when homesick.

[carlarosenakilah]

I'm taking a break from The Osix Family and Wilted Ivory

Hi, you've read that right. I'll proceed to go into detail undercut

Warning that the following will be containing very sensitive topics such as su***idal thoughts, mental health issues, and whatever the fuck I went through to get me here and I don't know how to describe nor name them but overall its not pretty.

Getting straight to the point- im drained. I'm in a horrible place right now and I need to take a step back before it might escalate into something worse.

The Osix Family is always something that I will forever dedicate to. It has comforted me, carried me, and saved me from killing myself three years ago.

I asked myself, "If I'm not here, who will tell the story of The Osix Family?"

That made me stay alive, and im greatful for that because if not, I wouldn't have been where I am today standing with the coolest people I have ever met and my amazing partner in crime @alexusespido-dod.

I love Wilted Ivory too, and that's where it gets tricky.

My only plan for Wilted Ivory is to simply tell a story about growth expressed as a musical au. Hence why the art is so simple– not just to match the original Casino Cups style, but just to tell a story that I hope would inspire and comfort others. Of course, I'm happy it gained lota of love.

The Osix Family though is a different story.

Like I said, it means a lot to me, so I put so much time and energy into this series. I sacrifice time that could've been used to study for the next exam, but instead im working on the next few panels or planning the music and etc. Blood sweat and tears (literally) into making sure the art looks good, story is properly conveyed, scenes carefully picked. Even if it gained me bad scores in my exams that made me stress over about, in the end it was worth it to me. I didn't care if I'd be sick an unable to move, as long as I could at least think about it, then I would be happy.

Episode 3 was my worst.

I overworked myself for that episode. I was always in front of my tablet, I never moved out of my seat, I was just there, working on it even if it was 1 in the morning and that I should be sleeping. I told myself: "Everything will pay off! Sure you're in so much pain right now, but eventually it will all pay off! Episode 3 is looking good and interesting! This will FINALLY gain the audience and love the story deserves!"

I was proud.

Until I wasn't.

Reality hit me like a saw. The moment the episode was released I was hopeful. But nothing happened. It was all the same.

And it just hurt how something as simple as Wilted Ivory can easily gain attention and love because it was Cuphead related something well known. Meanwhile, The Osix Family–despite everything–is just barely seen.

I started to doubt myself. To question myself. Was I not doing enough. What more can I do. What should I do. Am I not good enough?

Is the story just not good enough?

That broke me. I began to have thoughts I shouldn't have. I wanted to end it all. I wanted to quit and disappear from the world. Because what was the point in pouring so much love into something only for it to dismissed.

Its not like I simply began having these thoughts.

I've had them over and over again.

As much as I hated involving him, my partner, Alex, had to deal with the many times I nearly ended it. To the point where even if he was in school, he'd go out of his way to stop me, I still feel guilty, even if he said it was fine.

I don't understand myself anymore.

Why do I even have such an attachment to this series? Its just a stupid silly series for funsies isn't it? Why does my life to depend on it?

Unfortunately, it just does.

It sucks. Pushing away my needs for the sake of this passion, only for it to just not go as I hoped it would go. Did I mention I'm also losing followers on the osix family blog? Thats so silly and coquette.

I'm so sorry if im coming off as guilt-trippy, please I don't want it to sound that way, I just want to express how deeply troubled I am because to me it actually DOES HURT.

I envy people who couldn't give a flying fuck about whether or not their stuff goes famous or gets love, I don't even understand why I am so dependent or hungry on whatever attention it gets. I hate that im like this. I want to be free from it but I just crave it.

So, for the sake of my mental health and whatever is left of my sanity, im taking a break, for good.

I will not be updating The Osix Family or Wilted Ivory at this very moment. For how long? It depends on how fucked up I have actually turned out to be today.

I might still post, keyword: MIGHT, its not any update but to just simply draw for myself, but the chances of me posting anything is horribly low.

I'm going to focus on myself, my needs, and whatever makes me happy or have fun with.

To those who supported The Osix Family or even bothered to check it out: Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

It means a lot to me, you have NO idea. Every single like, reblog, comment, hype or even the silliest amounts of theories or thoughts, they make me so happy, it actually heals me.

I can't remember names im sorry, but there was a time someone expressed how they were invested in the lore and loved the world building, it really made my day. Or when someone pointed out some small details on my waiting in a miracle animatic, it warmed my heart.

I have troubles expressing it, but im so, SO greatful.

Especially when some of my mutuals started making OCS FOR THE SERIES?? Like– it felt like a HUGE compliment.

I cant believe im tearing up as im typing this haha im so stupid lmao, but

Thank you. A lot.

And to those who weren't really into The Osix Family, its okay, don't feel bad, sometimes things are just not our cup of tea, I just needed to express my grief, cause honestly bottling it up isn't going to end well for me (and it really didn't multiple times).

I apologize for any false hope or let down your hype as Wilted Ivory was just starting and The Osix Family was finally coming back– but this treatment is overwhelming me that I need to take a step back.

That's all for now.

Thank you for... actually reading, you listening means a lot to me too.

Goodbye.

[tellmegoodbye]

Welcome to the first installment of my monthly rec lists, where at the end of every month, I share some of my favorite fics and tell you what I loved about them!

I hope to have one of these out each month, so stay tuned for more down the road. And please, don't forget to show these incredible writers some love.

---

The Railyard - @strandnreyes

Detective AU anyone? This fic combines so many tropes that I absolutely love. Only one bed, fake relationship, etc. All while we get to follow Tarlos as they solve the unfolding mystery! I also love the found family aspect that we have, even if it's not the most conventional origin story.

Somewhere In A Song - @paperstorm

I have been obsessed with this fic ever since the first chapter dropped. The premise of a musician AU already had me in a chokehold, but everything about this fic from the song choices to the development of Tarlos has been incredible. It has everything. Energized scenes where they perform for crowds, soft and vulnerable scenes when they're alone, and lots and LOTS of pining and tension.

So Damn Close - @ironheartwriter

This fic was an absolute TREAT of a 5x09 coda. I thought it was a beautiful take on what that conversation would have been like. These are the soft and inseparable soulmates we all know and love.

And if that wasn't amazing enough, we also have this gorgeous art by @sapphic--kiwi to accompany it!

A Storm From Heaven - @carlos-in-glasses

A beautiful coda from Cig. Is there any other kind? 5x11 has so many moments that deserve to expanded on, and of course one of them was the weight of the disappointment after the social worker left. I think the fic does a brilliant job of slowing that moment down and showing how TK and Carlos are supporting each other through this process.

Turn And Burn - @rangersoup

Carlos "good with horses" Reyes is here! And he's everything we've ever wanted. This fic takes you on an immersive journey into the world of horseback riding, combining present day with flashbacks that give us an insight into young Carlos. We're only one chapter in, but I'm excited to see where this story goes!

So Sick Of Online Love - @strandnreyes

This one is a lot of fun! If you love case fics, jealous TK, and Carlos being a badass, then this is something you need to go read. These are the type of Tarlos shenanigans that make me love them as a couple. They're equally playful and serious while working together to solve a case, and it's a beautiful reminder of how we don't have to lose that dynamic because we have so many fics like this keeping it alive for us.

My Love, I'll Run Through Everything To You - @kiras-sunshine

Another beautiful 5x09 coda! I especially love how this one dives into Carlos' feelings and how he was able to come to the decision that he did. This fic does a great job showing how he's healing, and how he and TK are getting through this as husbands.

Something Inside You Is Feeling Like I Do - @lemonlyman-dotcom

As much as we all love Tarlos, I also love reading fics that shine a light on other characters, and Lemon always does such a wonderful job with that! This fic shows us some of the ways in which Carlos and Marjan can relate when it comes to their relationships with their parents. They both found happiness, but they had to fight for it along the way, and I absolutely adore how this fic highlights their friendship in a way that we never get to see on a show.

Pull Apart The Darkness While We Can - @morganaspendragonss

Phoning all of my fellow Nanteo shippers and angst lovers! We've all been speculating on what exactly will happen to Mateo in the finale, and if you want an emotional, heartbreaking take on that, then this fic is for you! I swear, I sobbed when I got to the end.

Ready For The Ride - @theghostofashton

This is another coda that highlights the similarities between Carlos and Marjan's experiences. They conversation they have here is one that is very healing, knowing that they both have people who can understand the things they went through. I also loved found family vibes and the soft Tarlos moments we see in this fic as well.

Right Where You Left Me - @strandnreyes

Last but not least, this fic is the ULTIMATE angst with a happy ending experience. It's a take on what might have happened had Carlos not been ready to be a father to Jonah, and how Tarlos eventually comes back together. It will break your heart and put it back together again. It's sad, sweet, smutty, and everything you could ever want from a getting back together fic!

[ineffabildaddy]

i think it might be lost on some good omens fans who've either never been in a fandom before, or have only been in very big fandoms for that matter, how truly lucky we are.

we have new fan content to see at any time of day or night, no matter what else is going on in the world. there is a constant, and i do mean constant stream of new art, new fics, new meta, new gifs, new shitposts, new discussions, new video edits, new links to other websites where those things also exist... one could scroll through good omens tumblr all day, every day, and they wouldn't run out of new things to look at, due to the rate at which things are being produced, and the number of people who are producing them (i say this as someone who basically did this while recovering from top surgery back in 2023, when season 2 had not long come out). it would take a person an awfully long time to see all the good omens fan content there is to see, and that's just on this one platform.

most fandoms, for active media or not, cannot relate to this phenomenon. it's crazy, in the most wonderful way. i think we are this way bc we truly do have great source material, shot and performed by brilliant people, and therefore it is the kind of source material that attracts passionate, analytic obsessives (this is a compliment to all of us, not an insult!).

there'll come a time after s3 when things will slow down, i know that. so i want us to all appreciate how much we have now. at least once a day i stop and think about how grateful i am that this fandom became part of my life, and i hope you have that inclination too, at least once in a while.<3

but this doesn't happen by magic. you need to reblog, not just like; comment, not just leave kudos; share and rec, not just enjoy independently. with fandom, you get what you put into it, and the more you get involved the more fulfilment you'll get out of it. trust me on that<3

[angellekookie]

IN THE NAME OF LOVE & OTHER THINGS | MYG - Royalty AU [oneshot]

Summary: In which you really tried not to fall for him, but some things are inevitable, and you're ready to give u everything to be with him.

Genre: Romance (and maybe a little agnst? bro idk this was an accident

WC: 1.6 K

Warnings: None that I can think of, if I'm being honest.

Pairings: Min Yoongi x F! Reader

Note: Yall this drabble was naawt supposed to happen but since it did, let's call it either a prelude or a spoiler for another project I have in the works. It has not been beta read or checked for errors any at all. Anyway, hope you enjoy reading it nontheless, it was a fun distraction ^^

Dividers by @thecutestgrotto & @strangergraphics

You two were never to meet. Afterall, you were both from two different worlds that only ever intertwined in the shadows. You lived in ballgowns and politics, delicate hands never even having to feed yourself if you lack any such desire on a given day. He lived in stone and clay and plaster, calloused hands rumoured to be tinged with gold or magic because of how he could bring any material to life. 

You were the daughter of a Duke, and while he was indeed a prodigy, the most sought after artist in all the four kingdoms, that didn’t mean the public would take too kindly to a relationship or marriage between you. It would never work.

It’s what you’ve been trying to come up with a way to tell him that whatever it was between you two had to end. There was no future for it, nothing to look forward to.

So why did you fall in love with him? Just when did you manage to fall for the Hands of Midas himself?

You wondered if it was between the silences you’ve shared, as he was a man of few words. Or maybe it was the dedication and focus he had when he was working. Perhaps, one too many instances of you watching him work on the sculptures your father commissioned for the parlour. Nights where you hoped, prayed, wished and even went as far as risking your dignity to beg and plead with the skies if they could make you marble or clay or anything just once. How his hands moved creating lines and shadows, bringing new life to every area he touched - it made you wonder if he could bring a new life to you too. 

You heard him laugh exactly once, but you vividly remember every smile and you secretly wished they were all for you.

If only you knew that Min Yoongi had saved every smile for you. 

He never wanted to be sponsored by the Duke. He didn’t want anything to do with any of the nobles. He’d wanted to stay home, with his family. All he knew for his entire life was art. His mother’s singing, his father’s painting and his own love for sculpting. He was always quiet, observing the world around him and seeing every flaw. But Yoongi thought they were beautiful, so he used his hands to create the world that he sees, the one he loves. He didn’t need anything else. But going to stay with a wealthy family would be good for his own family. He’d get a great education, a place to stay and of course, he could sculpt whenever his heart desired- that’s what his mother told him as she sent him off on the carriage when he was younger.

Of course he missed his mother, cried for the first and last time the day he left. He was sure nothing could ever make leaving home worth it, wanted to curse the Duke and everything he stood for ripping him away from his recently widowed mother. Oh how that quickly changed when a girl with the kindest eyes and the biggest and brightest eyes ran out just as he was getting out of the carriage at the duchy. He noticed the dirt on her cheeks, how she seemed unbothered; happy. How she dragged along who he would correctly assume was a younger sibling- though she expressed more discomfort at whatever she was unwillingly being volunteered into. 

Being sponsored by the Duke had its perks, though. Yoongi would get to spend his days learning whatever they thought he needed academically, and as soon as that was done he’d get to bask in the glow of his art and his loyal audience of exactly one. Just as he would trace the lines on his current project, you would be tracing him. Of course, he couldn’t help the smiles he desperately tried to suppress whenever you were around. That was the only thing that could happen between you two, he knew that. You and him could never happen, surely such a pairing would be doomed from the start. He could only ever dare to reach out to you in his most wretched dreams. That was as far as he would go.

That was how far he thought he would have gone until that day between the marble and the roses things went just a bit too far. Spilled wine, whispered confessions and shared desire broke years of silence and tension. Suddenly, the spectator was the centre of attention. Though Yoongi didn't miss the opportunity that you had always been the star in his eyes. A star he never thought he’d ever get to hold in his hands, despite the risk of being burnt.

The risk was great. He knew it and so did you. 

And yet you would find yourself wrapped up in Yoongi always, somehow. You loved him, you were sure. So what if the risk was drowning? Whatever great thing that you were born to accomplish in this life couldn’t compare to loving him, being loved by him. 

Your mother, ever the noble lady she tried to raise you to be, asked you if you were sure that this was what you wanted to do. Left without a word to speak to your father, you presumed. You knew what it would come down to at the end of the day, knew that surely you couldn’t have your cake and eat it too. 

Your father was always the kind of man to talk about duty and honour. Never failing to tell you and your sister the importance of the roles you were born in. He’d always encouraged you both that being a leader in any sense of the word, was to be wise both in mind and the heart. You were in his office with your sister when he told you that knowledge was just a blade without the handle of wisdom. You were also in his office whenever he scolded you for something like missing lessons with the governess (again) or whenever he praised you for a beautiful painting you made.

This time, you sat stood before him, too scared, too nervous for the outcome. Hoping the ‘But father, I love him’ you were holding on your tongue would be enough of an explanation for him. Hoping that you didn’t break down and cry and beg and plead for him to let you go. That you really tried not to fall for him, but some things were inevitable. You had so much to say in your defense. All ready to run away should they decide to lock you up in the duchy forever or marry you off to some old widower. You weren’t prepared for when your father took your own hand in his, and looked at you with something that you truly did not have the words to describe. “Are you truly serious about this? Do you love him, ___?”

“With everything,” The tears you planned to use and beg were now threatening to make an appearance for a whole different reason. “I don’t want to have to live a life knowing I gave up the chance to love him.” You sat at his feet like you used to when you were much smaller. “I know you’re disappointed in me and that I’ve let you down but father, I’m-” 

You never got to apologise. Not when your father told you you had nothing to apologise for, that he knows this must have meant a lot to you since you actually wanted to apologise for breaking the rules this time. He hugged you and told you he’d already spoken to Yoongi, that you both shouldn’t just run away, that he’d take care of everything- that he could make sure you were safe one last time. What could you have possibly done, except cry while your father held you for the first time in a long time, for the last time in a long time. 

It’s how you found yourself still crying in the arms of your younger sister. You had come to tell her that you had made your mind up, you came to tell her goodbye.

Evening came, stealing away the daylight, but also bringing the time you were to leave everything familiar and dear to you behind. You were still in your sister’s room, head in her lap as she absentmindedly stroked her fingers through your hair. It was almost as if she was the older one today, but then again- she was always the more composed of the two of you. You were leaving her with a heavy burden, a great responsibility. But you knew that she could handle it much better than you ever would, with much more grace than you could even think to imagine.

“What is love, that you’re so willing to give everything up like this?” You took some time before answering your sister’s question, only to put your thoughts together. 

“Love is something that knocks on your door at odd hours in the night. It warms your cheeks when you're out during the day, it chases you through meadows- it’s an adventure that comes to find you when it knows you're ready to sacrifice everything to chase it. Eventually, you’ll find yourself where love  rests.”

“I’m afraid you’ve left me even more confused than I was three minutes ago…” She looked at you, the sad smile not reaching her eyes.

“One day, you will find love, and find yourself, and find your answer.” That’s what you told her as you embraced her for the last time for a long time.

You yourself often wondered what love was. But in the carriage your father arranged for you the night you left home, in the place you now live with a man you were convinced was born from your dreams, in the letters you exchange with your sister ever so often… You can safely say you found it.

AN: Thanks again for reading everyone, feedback is always appreciated 😘.

Taglist

@livingformintyoongi @moochii-daisies @peoniesnro

[egophiliac]

LEON

LEON YOUR EYEBALLS

[the-woman-upstairs]

Really fucked up that, when they’re young, Patrick and Art are SO tactile with each other, so comfortable sharing the same space. Art lets Patrick touch him and move him and physically overwhelm him and easily acquiesces to it, if not outright enjoys it.

Then in the present, they’ve been so far out of each other’s orbit for so long, held such animosity that when they have their moment alone in the sauna, Art physically recoils from Patrick’s close proximity! It’s so painful to watch because even as Patrick’s goading him, it’s so obvious he wants to be able to get back into Art’s space. But Art has erected all these walls around himself, he refuses to give Patrick an inch or even admit to missing how close they used to be!

AND THEN we see Art and Tashi later and he wants her to hold him, to be gentle with him, and just TOUCH him. Like, he does miss that kind of close physical contact! He either doesn’t know how to ask for it or is uncomfortable being that openly vulnerable. Worth noting that he pretty much always defers to Tashi in regard to initiating physical intimacy (with their first kiss, though he does state his desire, SHE has to be the one to make the first move). And it seems pretty obvious that Tashi herself isn’t comfortable providing that intimacy, whereas Patrick actively seeks to provide it (the hug/forehead kiss after their win together in the early years, dragging the stool closer to him).

Art has tried very hard to act like he doesn’t need physical affection and even though his discipline and devotion to Tashi has made him a stronger tennis player, it’s made him a hollow person, which, in turn, has kept him from becoming a GREAT tennis player.

All of this, of course, is why the ending hits so damn hard.

[duskbellamy]

I just listened to some of your stuff. I remember being where you are.

I'm in music school rn. What I've learned is that ALL music is a mash of things the artist has absorbed before. I'd say all art, really. Re-combination into a new and improved thing is basically what humans do as a species. It's the reason we have so many genres in the first place. Trying to fit yourself into an existing genre is only going to make you blend into the crowd more. The key is really going to be finding the labels that connect you to the right audience. DO NOT change your music overall to fit a genre, change your music to improve it. Use genre elements to develop specific songs. If really need be, a new genre will develop.

As far as changing your process goes, that comes naturally over time. Think of an artist you love, and how their early stuff is different from their latest stuff. Even look at how different 90's electronic is from modern stuff! Don't be afraid to try new things, but don't force *everything* to be new unless you're looking for a challenge. Baby steps.

I also had trouble conveying specific ideas and feelings. Then I learned a little bit of music theory. Knowing how chords work helped a ton: think of a chord progression as the colour palette. The melodies and basslines and other pitches in your song are the detail, brush strokes.

Lots of really great stuff out there on YouTube about basic theory. When you have a decent grasp on chords, this website is an absolute gem. Look up any song that you like the vibe of and it'll show you exactly what they did, chord-wise. You'll tweak and swap chords as you go, and your ability to convey a specific emotion will get better and better.

TL,DR: Look up some basic knowledge on chords and KEEP. MAKING. MUSIC. The only way to solve any of the problems you've listed is to do it more.

i've often struggled to describe my own music. it's not playlistable or tiktokable or even genre-categorizable in any sensible way. i worry constantly that this puts distance between my work and the audience. i tend to sit awkwardly between all my influences. chiptune, ambient, experimental, dnb, hip hop, house and club music are all in there somewhere, but the result is sorta poorly defined. "post-hyperpop" is a useful label for similarly influenced music, but is itself poorly defined. and that genre doesn't tend to include a lot of instrumental music, which is my bread and butter

i don't have this problem in other artistic mediums. musically, i feel like a child playing with fingerpaints. full of thoughts and emotions to express, able to smear and splatter colors, but unable to create something that expresses any specific feelings or ideas. often unable to connect to the audience in a meaningful way

not sure how to square this circle. give up on conveying specific ideas? give up on genre? or embrace genre and work hard to adopt a sound that listeners will understand?

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

A fierce duel commences!

[housederiva]

I may not understand how Davrin Dragon Age's clothes work yet but I do have a comprehensive knowledge of cleavage and a deep desire to figure out how to paint digitally

[claitea]

i've had these scenarios written down since volo's debut in pokemon masters and i just really wanted to scribble them down and finally release them

[serenhob]

Base drawing of Wukong

My reference photos ⬆️

Gonna do it like a painting rather than have line art but I needed a detailed (ish) sketch to go over the top of.

[theswedishpajas]

The man truly can’t take a genuine compliment 🙄

[saturnaous]

I think. Alphonse has a lot of dealings with disassociation and being in a body without nerves.