#anyway i hate it here m
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so turns out that eating disorder scientists actually do know stuff about eating disorders... who knew
#trying to lose some weight so tracking calories atm#but like#it's soooooo hard on days when i work#like bc I do quite long shifts and i don't control my breaktime#and the staff food is bad#so i'm restricting myself#which should be good for the losing weight you would think??#SIKE#restricting during the day just makes me want to binge when i get in the house#and i don't like using that word#bc i don't like thinking about myself having a binge eating disorder#bc I feel like for quite a while i had almost like an undereating disorder#and i know they're all linked like i know i know#but idk i don't like classing myself as having a binge eating disorder#bc then i guess I still do overrestrict sometimes#but maybe that's just cause i want to prove I'm not a binge eater idk#anyway i hate it here m#aybe it's easier just to day that i exhibit disordered eating#rather than having a specific type of eating disorder#idk idk idk#need to tag this as something so ppl can filter it#cath ed vents#or maybe it's#cath de vents#ed mention
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well - webtoons is over, gang
#sci speaks#if everyone would please just read the blog at it's intended home on tumblr#and please stop getting me to waste my energy on all these other sites that i hate then that would be primo wonderful#tapas and webtoons are actual shitholes. convenient to read sure whatever. but i hate the format anyway#and how they treat their creators.#not to mention the way tapas gamifies their interface so you're like on a fucking gambling site?? like if temu were a webcomic service?#what happened to the internet being a free and fun place for anyone to post anything.#noo. copyright laws because we want to make money we can't just host anything out of the spirit of fun and freedom#what about the money??? what if we risk money??#internet used to be a better place. i hate the earth as it is right now. the internet is like a mine that corporations dug into.#and destroyed. right in front of my eyes.#it used to be a beautiful green pasture with wildlife roaming and now it has been flattened and turned into an ugly shopping mall.#the things i do for you guys who really. really wanted me to archive it somewhere else.#i''m not doing it anymore. it is here until tumblr dies or we all enentually die and all our efforts are lost to the sands of time.#nothing matters in a cosmic sense anyway. enjoy it while it's here.
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Fandom Gripe #23: I know that fandom is in some deep denial about its treatment of female characters that are canonically involved with fan favorite m/m ships, but do y’all realize that when you disappear female characters from the narrative wholesale to push the idea that your canonically straight fav was “secretly gay all along!” you’re making several bad implications? That 1) bi men don’t exist, 2) bi men do exist, but those who have genuinely loved a woman before cannot genuinely love a man after that (therefore bi men don’t exist in practice), 3) women cannot inspire genuine love and devotion in men, therefore any relationship with a woman is “lesser” than the one they later have a man (see previous parenthesis), or 4) to acknowledge the existence of a lovable woman who isn’t a terrible person, where if a relationship previously existed, it did not end because of “incompatibility,” is enough to destabilize the present relationship between two queer men?
Because why is the tgcf fandom allergic to acknowledging that He Xuan had a whole ass fiancée that he loved? Why does no one ever seem to remember that the kidnappings and murders of He Xuan’s sister and fiancée were the final straws that sent him on his rampage, and he still keeps a shrine to them in the present-day of the story? Why is her entire existence and significance to He Xuan as a man, character, and to his character arc disappeared in favor of pushing Shi Qingxuan—the brother of the man responsible for his fiancée’s death—into that same role, as if to say that her impact on He Xuan is significant... just not when it's from her? Why does He Xuan’s life in fandom essentially begin not just after her death but because of it?
#tgcf#human gripes at fandom#anyways these are rhetorical questions because I already know the answer#i just absolutely hate it#why do y’all hate female characters so badly 😭#especially when they ‘get in the way’ of m/m ships?#mxtx shows that woman more respect in the book than fandom does outside of it#and she didn’t even give that character a name!#simply embarrassing#i could have also talked about jgy here#but let’s be real: that man never loved qin su (or anyone)#so i did not want to include him when discussing people who are *actually* capable of unconditionally loving others#but anyways#mdzs fandom sure loves to either disappear qin su#or act as if she’s the one responsible for why their precious ‘meng yao’ can’t just hop into bed with his bros#you know? the one he killed and the one he used as an accomplice in his murder? those bros? that he so obviously loved with sincerity?#at least moreso than he could ever love a *woman* amiright?#(for legal purposes that last tag was a joke)#i also really hate the implication that he xuan had no life before shi wudu ruined it#that in fact shi wudu made his life 'better' by tying him to shi qingxuan#the romanticization of shi wudu's actions to make way for a ship is... a Choice
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“Nine would have treated Martha better than Ten did”
I need to talk about this argument that never seems to stop circulating.
Note: Not a venomous/anti post. There’s more than enough of that across fandom spaces as is, and this is supposed to be a place for ✨sweet, blissful escapism✨
When making this argument, people seem to envision a scenario in which Nine never met Rose.
While I can appreciate a good hypothetical, recognizing Rose's significance to the Doctor (Nine and Ten) is essential to understanding why things with Martha played out the way they did in the first place.
In the third series, the Doctor is grieving. This grief is deliberately threaded into nearly every script, whether spoken aloud or not (and these are just a few examples):
He's burning in Rose’s wake the entire time Martha travels with him, which is why it’s so frequently called upon: It’s 100% deliberate in framing his grief. He grieved as Nine too, of course— having been fresh on the heels of the Time War — but then he met Rose, which changed everything.
Back then, he was still a rude, traumatized pain in the ass, but we watch Rose soften more of those jagged edges with every episode as they grow closer; as he lets his guard down and forms a deep connection with her.
He falls in love (against his better judgment) and it's game over.
And yes: provided S1E1 had been titled 'Martha', one can realistically assume things might have unfolded similarly to how they did with Rose. However, it wouldn’t have been that way just because the Doctor was Nine and “Nine was different” — it would be because he wasn’t already in love with someone else. The same can't be said for the start of S3.
Think of it like this: if Rose AND Martha had been in that cellar — if Nine had taken both of them along with him in S1 — we’d eventually be looking at the most melodramatic love triangle ever, what with him living in close quarters with two brilliant, gorgeous, compassionate young women... But Doctor Who is plenty “soap opera” as is with just one woman in the TARDIS.
(I certainly wouldn’t object to reading that fic, though)
Now, regarding the unrequited elephant in the room…
His inability to be romantic with Martha isn’t because he thinks her lesser, nor is it for lack of compatibility. It isn't because Rose is any better than her. It certainly isn’t just because he’s Ten.
It’s really only for one reason, which can't be denied — and now I’m a broken record:
He is still in love with Rose.
(cut from a tenrosedaily gif)
Nine is Ten, and Ten is only such a mess in S3 because he’s just lost the love of his life. Martha merely got caught in the crosshairs of a volatile Time Lord in mourning, and yes — it sucks. Absolutely.
But it also feels dismissive to chalk Ten and Martha’s relationship up to little more than some sort of mindless dance of pining, jealousy, and toxicity.
Ten trusted Martha with his life over and over again — and hers, with him. He constantly praised her brilliance, happily carting her around time and space with no intention of letting her go. In the BBC’s extended universe of novels/comics/cartoons/etc, there’s so much depth to their relationship: love and trust and trauma and sacrifice. They had their own special bond as mates, their own complexities — so it’s a bummer that it's forever overshadowed by the other things.
I’m not denying that there was a lot of stuff that sucked/was for sure toxic about Ten's S3 behavior, but so many of the things I've seen him catching flak for can be directly attributed to being A Clueless Fucking Alien Idiot (not a trait that’s unique to Ten) — as well as his flat-out obliviousness to Martha’s feelings.
So yes, I agree: if Rose never existed, he would have treated Martha differently as Nine. He also would have treated her differently as Ten. Certainly.
But Rose did exist, and when discussing canon, it matters.
“He tells me that he absolutely, 100% loves Rose... He tells me how my daughter; my wonderful, beautiful, clever little girl saved him from himself before… And he says that’s all because of me! I made her into the Rose Tyler that saved him.”
-Jackie Tyler, Flight Into Hull!
Martha got the short end of the stick in S3. She came round at the wrong place and time, but that doesn't mean it was all bad. It doesn't mean the Doctor didn’t adore her. It certainly doesn't mean the time they spent together was wasted or worthless. They were brilliant!
Sure, he could be a twat, but let it be known that he was a twat with Rose as well, both as Nine and Ten. I’m sure Tentoo can be plenty infuriating, too. So while I'll defend Ten (and Tentoo) into the ground forever and ever and ever, I'll concede that he's fucked up.
The Doctor is a certified Pain In The Ass. It’s one of the things I love so much about this character — dynamics.
But never forget that Martha was goddamn tough as nails and overcame every bit of it. She moved on with her life, and the Doctor moved on with his. One can only pray that, when they inevitably drag her back onto the show (which feels inevitable if I'm honest), we see at once that she's been living her best life for all these years.
#I'm paranoid af about posting this but also feel like maybe two people will read it so perhaps I'm safe#doctor who#tenth doctor#ninth doctor#rose tyler#martha jones#baby's first meta#dw meta#I hope this wasn't just a mess of discombobulated stream-of-consciousness chatter#try as I may to avoid it#I'm somehow still aware of the sea of bad fandom vibes surrounding almost every character mentioned#besides Nine - who for some reason seems to be above reproach#there's a painful absence of civil discourse#especially where shipping is concerned#but let me tell you#I've vibed with T/M people about T/R and T/R people about T/M and it is a beautiful thing#I wish we could all just get along#also I've got so many more thoughts about this topic#like an embarrassingly long list of thoughts#I tried to scale it down as best I could while also being as inoffensive as possible#gonna crawl back under my rock now#also you should all go read Peacemaker#best DW novel since the Stone Rose#belated tag added way after the fact but:#for some reason I’ve yielded so much hate mail since originally posting this#because I suppose some people have only cottoned on to my enjoyment of T/M#but please note that I’ve been writing my T/M series since 2022#it’s had no bearing whatsoever on my love of T/R+T2/R aka the OTP of all time#but I’m also a grown-ass woman in my thirties and we are all playing with dolls here#I just wanna spread love and write smut and I do this for fun so if you can’t be nice - then I don’t want you reading anyway
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personally I think curly's real name is actually Cuthbert and he Hates it so much and curly is his attempt to seem somewhat cooler and less of a bullying target (Jimmy knows his real name and on Pain Of Death he is never allowed to speak it ever)
#catfish speaks#mouthwashing#captain curly#curly mouthwashing#sorry not sorry curly is a meek slightly wet cat loser to me#i come from a long culture of making up stupid nicknames for people (australian)#and the second i saw curly's name i was like 'thats a nickname for something embarrassing he hates'#no shade to tue person who figured out all the names of the characters but i Hate most of them#'''grant curly''' im not fucking calling him that he is Cuthbert to me and thats final#Jimmy zare is. interesting. i like the idea of him having mixed heritage but in a second generation twice removed kinda way#like his grandparents emigrated and his familys been in Melbourne ever since and are technically white but it's complicated#Anya. babygirl anya. i wish i knew more about this naming decision#why a japanese one??? im m#mostly just baffled??? like. anything vaguely russian/Ukrainian/czech/baltic would have made sense. even a white name. but Japanese???#i wish i knew more about the naming decision here#same with daisuke#i thino probably cos the game is meant to be set in america the prevalance of hispanic names makes sense there#im just. again Wondering about the thought process#swansea i caj accrpt but personally i like to think its his last name#and his first name is David cos that's welsh and swansea the place is. is it in wales??? i cannae remember#ok googled it and it is Welsh#also kimda funny thay googling it brought up the place in tasmania. ah colonialism </3#anyway. thats all.#curly is actually Cuthbert is the one i have strongest feelings about#followed by anya
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so i started this show and it just gets worse and worseeeee not only did it lift the romance subplot directly from twilight (and not well) but they also are trying to play the forbidden love angle hard in the fantasy racism vein except it's a "cross-species" relationship between the two whitest people i've ever seen in my life and there are three people of color in the whole (first season of the) show who aren't villains and it seems that every other episode (and sometimes ebery episode and sometimes twice an episode!) there is a man physically or magically subjugating a woman and i keep waiting for the big reveal at the end to be stolen from fucking rainbow rowell
#yes i read 'carry on' by rainbow rowell in middle school what else could you have possibly expected from me. anyway she gives me simon snow#vibes and not in a good way and she's even blonde while her british vampire boyfriend has dark dark hair and just. you will never be basil.#also i hate to be that guy but the writing has made me physically recoil and the acting almost reads as silly but mostly as middling :/ and#i wanted and expected more from matthew goode bc i really liked him in downton but i guess this is a 2018 bbc modern vampire fantasty serie#like i guess.#also there's SO much shit about bloodlines and maybe i'm gay with a blood disorder amd a family history of adoption but like. who fucking#careeessssssssss it ahould not be that serious. why is it that serious.#also the fantasy racism kind of reads like it's mesnt to be? homophobic adjacent? like there's a Lot of 'love who you love' talk going on#for the single most bland heterosexual relationship i've ever seen on a screen like there is so little chemistry? so little#anyway it's called 'a discovery of witches' and i'd recommend not watching it 🫶 or if you do then watch it on 1.5x speed#it's been decent background noise for knitting bc i kinda sorta care about the plot but if miss a chunk bc i'm in the lace chart zone i do#not care and i do not have to go back to catch it bc the writing is so transparent#there was another series it stole from that's escaping me atm but when i noticed it pissed me off a touch. hmm maybe it will come back to m#a post#do not watch this show#I REMEMBERED they wanted the juliette holding diana captive moment to be joaquin's 'i want to watch you fuck her' from sense8 SOOOOO BAD bu#it WASN'T bc they were too afraid to lean into anything that would make juliette interesting at all. for being all about the world's most#special blonde woman this show does not seem to like women very much. sad! well there's other shows#OH ALSO ALSO there are 3 magical 'creature' species which are witch + vampire + femon except the demons don't seem? to have any magical#abilities that humans don't have besides sensing the species of other creatures? like witches can cast spells and vampires do their various#vampire things but demons have nothing going for them except disproportionately high rates of homelessness and suicide?? like girl what are#we doingggggggg what are we doing here !! what's their deal why does no one care !! can they do anything or no !! god this show sucks
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I HATE cobs but also i’m obsessed with how he was written. I have genuinely never seen a villan character that has made me nearly as angry as cobs does. He’s insane. He’s unforgiveable. He values nothing exept his job. He will and HAS killed for his job. He’s horrible. Actually such an amazing character and so much of that credit goes to Joshua, his INCREDIBLY skilled voice actor. Rip cobs.You totally deserved to explode❤️
Does this count as a meeple confession because cobs is the ceo. of meeple.
uhhhm uhhm uhhhmmm just in case .mephone’s favorite music is canonically ringtones according to Brian on a livestream .if yuo even care😓
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#TRUUUTH#he’s so good in the sense that he’s so well written. just genuinely irredeemable but like. IN A WELL WRITTEN WAY#AND HIS VA. HIS VA AAAUGUHH#whenever I hear his voice from ii16+ I like. I nearly physically recoil yknow#BUT THAT’S BECAUSE IT’S SO GOOD URGH#anyways I hope he explodes and dies. except he already did#too bad! i’m still hoping he explodes and dies nonetheless#also! yes! cobs confessions count#there’s technically a blog specifically for cobs confessions but!! i8m okay with em here too!M#I did not mean to add that m. i hate my keyboard#ii meeple#ii steve cobs#ii mephone4#inanimate insanity#meeple confession
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mr sorrelpaws what's ur thoughts on the new rick and jerry centaur in the latest episode
my most normie opinion ever is that i thought it was kind of funny. the design is so weird in like a humorous way, and i think their deadpan delivery was silly ("do you not hear the symphony of atoms dying in space?"). i mean its definitely a wackier approach but i didnt hate it
#asks#rick and morty#in general i really liked this episode it was super funny#but anyway yeah ive seen a lot of people mention that they thought jerricky was weird#which is fair but i dont know. it just doesnt really feel THAT crazy compared to other stuff r&m has done#maybe im desensitized#and while im here might i add that i didnt even hate the somewhat minimal morty in this episode#its done in a believable way and realistically shoving him in anywhere wouldnt have added anything#its still leagues above how s6 treated him#plus he still exists as a character and behaves the way he normally would#even if he isnt 100% present He still acts like he Should
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i miss her…
#cant believe i forgot about her till the photobook q&a im so sorry witch mona~~~~~~~#press f for honeypre atelier gachas it was gone too soon™️#(currently e x t r e m e l y worried and stressed for tomorrow like never before b u t i have to appear like im fine sobs save me monachann)#(can i go on a stress-prompted tangent here about something inane? no? toooo bad im gonna go off anyway~~~~)#ok so. like. since witch mona is the image i have up ‘ere and since it’s still 七月… today’s tangent will be on irl spooky stories!!#s o. presenting a decently repressed memory from my childhood that resurfaced while i was hibernating at home:#anyways. well. thoughts about the afterlife can vary from person to person yes? there’s no one true correct belief after all#but the one question that unites us all is probably the one and only ‘are ghosts real?’#and well. for personal reasons i think so. i mean i’ve seen this one dude i hate get possessed a couple of times so welp. cant deny it ig.#wild story about that actually. back in the day my family’s finances were allegedly doing so badly that [dude i hate] had to pick up#a *c e r t a i n* side hustle for extra cash. that side hustle? literal grave digging at the cemetary. at night no less#and *ofc* he wasn’t respectful about it in the least so ofc some spirits followed him home. yay. free roommates.#one(?) of them even took residence in my room at the time and im 80% sure they ate my history textbook :( much sads#anyways well once that guy had too much to drink (which was rather often tbh) he’d get possessed. fun!#the only possession i ever saw was the n-rarity angry ghost who’d just huff and puff in silence with unfocused eyes most of the time#he’d occasionally put on a leather jacket too. but that was like a r-rarity event that didn’t happen that often#my mother had the chance to also witness the mosquito (who tried to barge into my room for fresh blood) and the 姑娘 (self-explanatory)#which is kinda unfair tbh. i wanted to see the ur-rarity ones too :( mostly bc it’d be funny to see a guy i hate act ooc (impure intentions)#oh right. how did we get the dude out of his possession? we just shook his arm really hard. prolly caused some lasting effects but who know#i think he could also just sleep off the possession but idk i was asleep for the ur-rarity incidents.#cant ask the one witness of it bc i dont want to bring back unnecessary flashbacks of [guy we hate]#anyways it’s been years since we moved out from that place and i still want my history textbook back. mostly for the principle of it but—#and so that’s the tangent of the day. i feel weirdly less stressed now thanks witch mona#i do wonder how my grandparents are faring on this 七月 though…#b u t !!!!! tomorrow’s date on the lunar calendar says it’s an auspicious day for wishful activity and starting a new job!!! so… maybe~~~~?#hauauauauauauauuauaaaaaa anyways insane tangent over stream mona’s new album ok bye#oops forgor to disable rbs i hate how easy it is to forget to use this function man
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FINALLYYYYY GOD. THIS TOOK 2 WEEKS TO BEAT
Reached 30 tags so here’s the rest of my thoughts:
AND I PLAYED FOR ANOTHER TEN HOURS. IT NEVER ENDED
but yes. despite all that whining I did have a blast with brothership
I want to play through it again. I feel like this is the kind of game that needs a second play through to digest it properly
Ok that’s it. Glad I finished l. Goodnight folks
#mario bros#mario and luigi#mario and luigi brothership#m&l brothership#m&l brothership spoilers#brothership spoilers#thoughts and opinions time to get it out of the way!#overall the ~60 hour experience of brothership was a delight#(60 because I dick around too much. I’d average a 50 to 55 hour experience for the average joe)#the story and characters were a DELIGHT to experience#especially extension corps. my god what a collection of idiots#tradgedy I’ll never see them again#ANYWAY I found it fun going through different islands and helping the townsfolk and reconnecting islands and their people#there were so many good individual moments here. Junior making a friend is a definite highlight#but god. extension corps finding out they care about eachother and being disgusted. a riot#father and son on bulbfish reconnecting and immediately throwing punches at eachother after. hilarious#BURNADETTE AND CHILLIAMS ROMANCE ARC. BEAUTIFUL#MARIO AND LUIGIS IDEAL WORLD BEING ONE WHERE BOWSER AND FRIENDS GET ALONG. AAGGGHHHHH#normal I’m normal#the concept of glohm and how it fits into the story is also so damn good#depression beam#I do have my complaints though. like I don’t like how Luigi feels like a sidekick instead of the second player character#you play as Mario and Luigi tags along is what it feels like. and that makes me really sad cause isn’t this game about connections#LET ME CONTROL MARIO AND LUIGI EVENLY!#the final boss is also…. not all that#the fight I mean. Reclusa himself is AMAZING#but the fight felt underwhelming for a final boss. like it. had the elements that could’ve made it a great final boss#but they weren’t tied together in a way that felt satisfying? does that make sense?#last thing: it might of just been me being desperate but the game took FOREVERRRR to finish#and I don’t say that because I hate playing I say that cause there were so many times where I thought ‘oh this is it it’s almost over’
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just remembered i am 21 and this is the prime of my life
#HCSFVDGSY#downhill from here ? ok..#anyway i remembered partly because i looked in the mirror and partly because i've been thinking about how. i'm not even that fucked up or#deformed and still no one wants me :/#just an observation. like i spent (and spend?) a lot of time hating myself and questioning why someone would like me or want to be around m#and that's hard to be around. and i've been reclusive. and it's hard to get out of that#it perpetuates itself it insists upon itself . but yes i know i make it hard to get to know me and like me#so i shouldn't expect anything and i DON'T !! but ‚ i think i'm allowed to conceptualize it as an absence sometimes#I don't Want anything (and i couldn't handle anything) but. but but but. you know??#kata.txt
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Let's say chocolate is a metaphor for traditional relationships that happen to appear good but are too sickly sweet for Sanji to handle and after WCI he ends up not liking chocolate. At least for a while. He needs to move on from what happened first. But he wants to force himself to like it because he should like chocolate. It is one of the most basic ingredients when making sweets and it is also everywhere.
So what if it makes him want to throw up? What if his stomach betrays him when cooking? What if he needs to stop every two seconds to breathe because his lungs don't work properly when he smells chocolate? He will keep trying and trying to make it work. Everybody loves chocolate, after all, he should too.
But then, one day, Usopp sees everything he has around the kitchen. Like. That's an awful lot of sweets and a disgusting amount of chocolate and he doesn't seem like he has slept in a week. So of course he is concerned. "Why- What's all of this about, Sanji?" He tries to hide his nervousness with a laugh.
Sanji grips the counter tighter. So much his knuckles turn white. "I- I don't know. I guess I was just. In the mood for chocolate." But he doesn't sound sure at all. In fact, he looks like he's about to cry.
"Well." He looks around the room without wanting to touch anything but approaching Sanji a bit to check on him. "Luffy can have all of my portions because I kind of... Not like chocolate?"
"You don't- You don't like chocolate?"
"No? Too sweet. I actually pretty much hate it? The smell already makes me ill."
"Me too."
"You what?"
"I think I don't- I don't think I like chocolate anymore. Is that- I don't know if I ever did. Is that alright?"
"Why wouldn't it be alright, Sanji? It's just chocolate. Nobody can force you to eat it. Or cook it if you really don't want to."
And Sanji realizes that maybe... Maybe it is alright for him to not want chocolate, and a wave of relief takes over him for a solid second.
#sometimes i think about sanji and his internalized homophobia#he's a bit too much like me it's scary-- anyway#i don't like chocolate that much either like. talking literally here#so maybe sanji looks a little gayer and less bi in this post but have you considered that i needed to make it like this bc i'm projecting#i have no idea where i wanted to go with this. chocolate in theory are like. just the concept of traditional m/f relationships#but it ended up looking more like girls in general and look. look. maybe. maybe it's okay for sanji to be a little gay in this one#usopp has absolutely no idea what's going on but he just knows sanji is very very fucked up and needs help rn#also something something usopp doesn't like chocolate and sanji forces himself to like it until he realizes he doesn't have to#idk i don't think he hates chocolate in this one maybe he just needs a little more time to like. eat chocolate#what the fuck am i saying this doesn't make any sense i just woke up i am so sorry#black leg sanji#usopp#sanuso#one piece#whole cake island
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[&TEAM] First Howling: WE Concept Photos
THIRSTY
#m;edit#&team#andteam#ot9#kpopco#malegroupsnet#namjoonlisa#userjoanna#useroro#userbbie#laura.track#heetual#userstarr#userhev#i hated coloring these. sorry if they look bad T-T#the ugly yellow tint... i think i managed to get rid of that#anyway i have no idea what's going on here#they're still serving tho#👁️👁️ what is this concept... riding bikes and being sweaty?
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Your post about misogynistic/patriarchal women really resonated with me and I empathize SO much girl I would be rich if I had a dollar for every single time i’ve seen a woman say some variant or another of “women are WAY worse than men!!!!” and wholeheartedly mean it. It ESPECIALLY makes me feel like the Joker when I see women who by all means carry themselves as feminist/progressive say shit like “misogynistic women are way worse than misogynistic men!!!” or some other misogynistic gaslighty bullshit that came straight from the ancient misogyny playbook.
I wish there was more of us having the space and drive to criticize our own sex class’ actions in a fair and just way without carrying the guilt of how our sex class is treated & without also following the subconscious path of least resistance (woman bad, man good). I wish there were more outlets for us to just be so fucking for real with each other, but in the way of respect, maturity, empathy, dignity, and accountability. I wish we all had more self awareness about the patterns we perpetuate.
It sucks when you not only have to cope with 50% of the population automatically hating you because of the morally neutral biological sex you happened to develop as in the womb, but you also have to deal with the members of your OWN sex perpetuating the cycles of subjugation and working against their own interests on top of that because of how deeply the knife of misogyny is plunged into our stomachs. As an individual girl/woman in the world, you have to incessantly deal with and mentally prepare for the indiscriminate bombardment of misogyny that is almost guaranteed to sneak up on you from every single direction possible. Feeling like you have close to no true allies, or only very few of them on a global scale. It’s a brutal, harrowing feeling.
It definitely gave me more insight into how the human mind copes with pain and injustice in bizarre and miserable ways, I guess. Newlyy I am ripping off the skin of my face thinking about this, it truly is suffocating. The patterns, the cycles, the history repeating itself!!!! I see you and I get it
exactly. you're completely right. no notes.
#one note i was on tiktok this morning#and saw a tiktok of a guy who was like idk fucking 40 or something and hes like showing his house which is still like#decorated like a college guy apartment like he ued a hockey stick as a curtain rod for example#and he was being self deprecating but clearly thought it was more charming than embarrassing#but anyway his voiceover is like 'guys if youre in your twenties and have a girlfriend lock that down and marry her or you'll end up like m#and it was so annoying cause like first of all male no one is forcing you to live like this. you could choose to live like an adult even#though you thankfully dont have a mommy--sorry a wife#second its so annoying that hes like telling other guys hey be sure to marry a girl so she can do all these adult things that you dont want#to do#but finally#the reason im sharing this here#is because there were soooooo many comments from women being like 'dont worry! youre some womans cup of tea! just keep looking'#or like 'wheres the green flag guy?' referncing a guy i guess on tiktok who like takes note of green flag male behavior#to be fai there were other women in the comments saying like thank god you aren't married. no woman should have to deal with this#i just hate when women baby men
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ok. no i get it. ok
#if you're gonna hurt can you. hurt please#it's been all day with this shit#it's barely something but it's on the precipice of being worse.#stop fucking around and be worse already what the fuck is going on#this is about. gestures at our body. that thing. and its arms and its legs and#the pain was just barely there but there enough to be Noticable. like are you going to hurt or are you going to Stop.#make up your mind.#this is hell btw.#i feel the beginnings of the sparking in our wires in our arms and legs and lower back and#today we were dizzy a concerning amount for the first time in a while.#like we're on the precipice of it being a problem. actually do something or stop what the fuck is this#pk;m curly🩹#we're getting back to the point where when we stand our heartrate shoots up and the. The Pulsating.#and the pulsating causes the dizziness and 2uen we're dizzy we scratch at our face and it's allr eally fast#and unnoticeable to us but very noticable to mom#and i just. okay I'll get out slippers from outside. the shoe inserts in em help some with... whatever that is.#but ultimately I'm like. tired. what the fuck is this. I'm waiting for it to get worse and i dont know if it will or#something something imposter syndrome or some shit btw like are we disabled or not what the fuck is going on here#i would like answers. anyway#sits here. waits for a flareup that might not even happen.#did we tell y'all mom was very negative about the idea of us using a cane the day after the birthday party?#so getting that cane that's LITERALLY BEHIND THE CHAIR WE SIT IN and using it for balance purposes is out the window.#i hate it here all these little things add up and they're slowly making me want to kill myself#BuT WE PERSIST! WE HAVE NO CHOICE! FUCK!
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my best friend is in love for the first time in her life and i haven’t even met the guy yet like. why does having a long distance friendship feel like missing your child’s first steps because you’re deployed at war.
#i dont want to meet jakey over facetime i want to shake his hand and look him in the eye and threaten to hurt him if he doesn’t act right!!#as is my right!!!!!#anyway i hate it here but also i can never go home but also nowhere else will be home but also i hate it here#m
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