#idk idk idk

[tobyisave]

obsolete

[lestatslestits]

I’ve been thinking a lot about how as neurodivergent people we censor and edit ourselves so much for neurotypical people that we seem to forget how to communicate with other neurodivergent people who would love for us to communicate in the ways we’ve been taught to avoid.

We’ve been taught “don’t talk out of turn but don’t be too quiet, don’t share your own related experiences but communicate empathy, be a good listener but don’t expect others to care about your interests, don’t speak unless spoken too but come out of your shell or people will think you’re being rude, don’t be annoying, don’t be annoying, don’t be annoying.”

So even in our own spaces, among friends, among other neurodivergent people, we say “sorry I’m being annoying” or “sorry to bother you” or “sorry I don’t know how to start a conversation” or “sorry I’m so awkward,” at each other because we’ve censored our communication so much that it feels like we’ve forgotten our own first language, and we’re hoping someone else will see that and teach it to us again (but they’ve forgotten it too).

[euthymiya]

I think the first time wrio tells you about why he served, he does it with a sort of detached demeanor. Like he’s awaiting you to either be scared or horrified or disgusted and it’s just inevitable. He prepares himself for the inevitable of you deciding loving him is just not worth the trouble. He’s built this shell around him that makes him indifferent to people’s reactions to his past. Sometimes they pity him. Sometimes they look at him with fear. Sometimes they’re outraged.

He’s used to it all by now. He’s long forgotten how to care.

But then…for some reason, you don’t seem to think any of those things. You seem grateful. Grateful he told you. Grateful he trusted you. Grateful to know him. Like knowing any piece of him—good or bad, is a gift. And you tell him as such, too: thank you for trusting me with this, you’ll whisper as your hands cup his cheeks. And oh. You’re not pulling away. Not sneering in that disgusted way or taking a step back in fear.

Something feels so oddly human about the way you look at him. Something that makes him feel almost like a kid again. Fragile and at your mercy as he depends on you to love him.

Because that’s what every kid needs. Someone to love them.

You didn’t deserve that, you’ll whisper again. And you’re right. He didn’t. It’s just that no one really took the time to see it that way. It’s always either been people rationalizing that he didn’t have a choice or condemning him for the extreme route he took.

But no one ever took the time to think about him. What he deserved—more importantly, what he didn’t deserve.

So when he leans his head into your shoulder and grabs at your waist tightly, feeling oddly raw and open and vulnerable—he thinks this must be what it feels like to be protected. When there’s a steady, warm embrace waiting for you no matter what you come home with, be it dirt on your cheeks or blood on your hands.

Still love me? He’ll ask cheekily. He pretends the tremor in his voice isn’t obvious.

How could I ever stop? You tease back—but it’s gentle. Soft. Coaxes a watery chuckle out of him. It almost didn’t matter that he’s never really truly been loved.

You’ll make up for all those years and then some.

[fala-alfredo-pasta]

Tokomaru Tuesday

[chronicowboy]

okay this might be a little bit unpopular. but idk to me this looks like one of eddie's very buck-specific looks. it's not anger or discomfort or wtf. it looks like something is wrong with buck, i know him inside out, i know him to the core, i know him better than i know myself and i know something is wrong with him but i just can't figure out what and it's driving me crazy, why can't i read him, why can't i figure this out, how do i help him if i don't know what's wrong? but obviously he's trying to act normal for marisol and not bring attention to it and maybe there's a little voice in his head telling him he does know what's wrong he just wishes he didn't...

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

Give you my wild -> The voices in his head called the rain to end our days of wild

[theworldwalkerswols]

(SITS BOLT UPRIGHT)

THE WoL WENT THROUGH A REJOINING ON A PERSONAL SCALE

The Exarch explains the mechanics behind the Rejoinings. That the balance of Aether in the Source versus the Shards is tipped until the Source is strained to the breaking point, and at last fractures in the fabric of reality allow the properly aspected Shard to join with the Source to rebalance the scales. That the overwhelming aetheric shift from the Shard being absorbed - Rejoined - is what causes the Calamities, and why each has a given aetheric aspect.

The WoL has been absorbing all the Primordial Light of the Lightwardens, and after Innocence, Ryne says that not only the WoL's body is breaking down. Their soul is fracturing. She uses the Blessing of Light to quell it and hold them together as much as she can, but the damage hasn't been undone.

That takes Ardbert. The WoL's shard, at the last, sees the WoL breaking, and rushes to fill in the cracks. To restore balance. And yes, the Primordial Light is spent - needs to spent - in defeating Hades, but it's Ardbert rushing in to fill in the gaps left in the WoL that mends them.

Y'shtola and Ryne note, after the fight, that WoL is mended. They doesn't understand how it happened, though they're relieved.

The WoL is the microcosmos in the macrocosmos. Mended just as the Source is with every Rejoining. And the devastation wrought on Hades their personal calamity.

The WoL went through a rejoining so the Source didn't have to.

[playgrl0]

sharing some thoughts that i have about nanami (they're all canon bye)

⁂ nanami loves thighs. thick thighs. and stomachs! <3

⁂ he loves cooking and he loves to cook for you but he doesn't mind coming home to dinner that you cooked for him.

⁂ LOVEESS laying his head on your lap and having his hair played with.

⁂ he always watches your favorite reality shows with you, acting like he doesn't care and thinks that they're stupid but he's secretly invested in all of them and gets excited when you force him to watch a few episodes with you. he will never tell you that though.

⁂ i've said this before but: cat dad cat dad cat dad cat das cat dad cat dad

⁂ soft pleasure dom bye

⁂ he's a slut for pasta

⁂ loves giving you massages and he goes all out like he even uses all types of oils to massage your back and puts on some relaxing music so you get the maximum level of relaxation.

⁂ a simple but beautiful, romantic, classy wedding

⁂ nanami sheds a few tears when you walk towards him to the altar. mans is speechless, you look breathtakingly beautiful.

⁂ buys you a new bouquet of flowers every single week.

⁂ so many forehead kisses

⁂ girl dad idc

⁂ you're the only one that gets to see him in loungewear and bed hair. when his hair isn't styled and still messy and fluffy after a shower or after he woke up.

⁂ umm he loves teasing you in public heheh. but very subtle, he doesn't want anyone else to notice besides you of course.

⁂ loves quiet, rainy days with you. spending his free day inside, lounging on the couch while you watch some tv and he reads his favorite book, your cat curled up on his lap.

⁂ as much as he loves quiet, slow days, he's also up for some fun activities. believe it or not, but i can see him going to an arcade with you or a amusement park. he wins plushies for you, buys you bananas and strawberries covered in chocolate, anything you want. and he actually really likes riding roller coasters, the needs the adrenaline.

⁂ calls you my love, darling, baby, angel

⁂ HE HAS FRECKLES ON HIS SHOULDERS AND BACK. HE HAS FRECKLES!!!!!!!

⁂ sobbing at the thought of nanami getting ready in the morning/evening, shirtless in the bathroom in front of the mirror and you come up behind him, hug him and press kisses to all the freckles on his shoulders and back. help me.

⁂ he loves hard. and he only truly falls in love once. you're stuck with him forever.

tags: @shamelessperfectionhideout @vmlnrz @saintokkotsu @satanlovesusall666 @kiirsteinn @noritopia @gothamgurl2024

<3 @ playgrl0

[telephonedear]

demanding more albedo, tighnari, and wanderer as friends. idk i feel like that’d be a BANGER friend group

[maxbytes]

maybe if everyone were more whimsical then less things would be needlessly labeled as childish

[ninyard]

Could we get a continuation of Kevin reacting to riko’s death?

To follow on from that last one, just imagine Kevin sat in a hotel room with David and Abby and the whole world has just come to a standstill. The room is quiet, or at least he thinks it is, and everything feels grey and nothing makes sense. His head is empty, mostly, but his hands can't stay still. He feels his internal temperature drop. He doesn't register it, but Abby notices; how his lip starts to quiver, his pulse almost bursting out of his skin, heart pounding so hard and fast that she can see it in his neck, on his chest. His eyes are wide when he looks at her, not a thought behind his forehead, pupils dilated as he just quietly processes what he'd just been told.

She says something to him about shock, and he nods in feigned understanding.

He's not in that room anymore when a knock comes at the door. He's in the nest, he's drawing on sharpie numbers on cheekbones and he's playing pretend olympics. He's in the nest and he's being held down and hurt and there's nothing he can do about it. Kevin can't remember the order of the words spoken around him, maybe it started with Renee needs to talk to Jean, or did you tell him? or Should I get Andrew?

Neil kneeling down in front of him was only a mirage at that point. There's a hand on his shoulder, and he knows that he's looking at Neil, but it's only his eyes that are moving, his brain unable to process what exactly is happening in his line of sight.

"I'm not going to ask if you're okay," Neil says, or something similar. "I know who he was to you."

"Who told you?" He manages, minutes or years after Neil had come to comfort him. It's Neil's turn to take too long to answer, but before he can, it comes back to Kevin - the staff taking Neil out of the room, how long he was gone for, and the smile on his face when he returned. "You were there?"

Neil nods, but all Kevin sees is that smile on his face. He watched it happen and he smiled. He knew, and he kept it from Kevin, and he smiled. He fucking smiled.

Kevin's hands are on Neil before he realises, before anyone has time to interfere. Wymack is yelling, pointless words lost in the air of shock and anger, and Neil has his arm locked into an outstretched position to keep him off him. But Kevin's arms are longer. The specifics of the scuffle are mostly blurry, but he remembers Neil's foot on his stomach as David pulls him back. Neil cradling his jaw where Kevin had managed to land a slap or a punch. Maybe he was holding his head, was he? Or was it a hand on his chest, soothing where he'd been hit so hard that it almost winded him?

"Who?" Kevin shouts at Neil, as Renee stands in the doorframe, watching. He frees himself from Davids hands and doesn't care about the stitches popping in his shirt as his coach tries to grab at anything to pull him back. He's crossed the room and shoved Neil up against the wall, his shirt balled up into his fists. "Who did it?"

Himself, he hopes to hear, naive and unprepared for Neil's hushed response of, "Ichirou."

Whatever he throws onto the ground smashes into pieces, and whatever piece of furniture follows it crashes so loudly that he almost registers the sound. He doesn't mean to hit David, such a sacrilegious act, but he doesn't care where his fists land. Everything hits him at once, and he needs to get it out. That was his first time meeting Ichirou. Neil was there. Riko is dead. That was his brother. Neil smiled. Riko is dead. His mom is dead. Jean is alone and he's going to find out. Is this sadness? Is he allowed to feel happy? Is he free now that he's dead? Is there a point of living on without him?

Whatever else happens in that room means nothing to Kevin. It's a blur of yelling at the wrong people about the wrong things, a rush of breaking things that the hotel was certainly going to fine him for later. It's a pause for a moment to look at Neil before it all starts up again. It's on the news. Nothing makes sense. At some point Neil and David are holding some part of him hostage to keep him from smacking himself in the head, to stop him from headbutting the wall, to stop him from hitting Neil again or from banging his fists on the carpeted floor. He's sitting on the floor at the end of the bed, Wymack behind him with his arms around his chest and arms, Neil in front holding his wrists to stop him from pulling out his own hair, as he sweats and heaves in pointless breaths. He lets out this anger around a panic attack that he can barely even feel at all. It's overwhelming. Kevin is having a full blown, full body meltdown, and he needs to get this feeling out of his bones before it destroys him from the inside.

"Andrew." Neil says, too soft, too careful. Kevin knew he had to be in the room, but since Neil had come back from Baltimore, his presence around him had become less of a guaranteed constant. Andrew sits down next to them without a word.

"You get it," Kevin says, and it cuts through Andrew like a cold gust of wind, a hundred knives thrown through his chest and embedded into the wall behind him. Kevin doesn't know how he has the mental capacity to know that he was correct, but it wasn't an assumption, either. Andrew knew who Riko was to Kevin, and Kevin knew enough about Andrew to know that it was the truth. "You know how this feels."

There's something there - an acknowledgment of Drake's death, another outburst at the wrong words said, a realisation that Neil understands it too. There's an inconsolable Kevin, and blips in his memory that he can't recount at all. There's him dipping in and out of this lucid, conscious state. Maybe he laughs. Maybe he's not able to cry. Maybe nothing makes sense but he feels it all anyway and he's not able to handle it at all. The pain in his chest and his heart is unbearable. Nobody has ever seen him like this. He's never seen himself like this, in such a flurry of unmanageable feelings.

Maybe Riko would've remembered him like this, from when Kevin found out his mom was dead, but maybe he'd been too controlled to not control his reaction to that news at that time. Maybe this was him feeling anger about the death of his mom, for the first time, too.

Why? is all he can think. Why now? Why Riko? Why did he treat me like this? Why did he let everything get so bad that this was the only possible outcome? Why Ichirou? Why did he not feel good about the death of his abuser? Why was he unable to process the death of the man who destroyed him and built him back up exactly how he wanted? (Maybe that just answered it all for him anyway.)

[xoxoemynn]

Wait what's the instagram discovery? 👀

Okay again to be very clear this could be nothing but… idk my clown nose is never too far away.

Direct link

[stormyoceans]

why is this making me feel like a fragile victorian maiden on a fainting couch in desperate need of a six months long seaside vacation for my health

[dragonfly1302]

It’s been… 6(?) years since s1 came out, and I’m rewatching it now (and making my fam watch it with me), and I’m (we all are) still the Harrow-is-trapped-inside-Pip truther🤔

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

Also I meant to say this earlier but Taylor’s recognition of the “mass movement of joy” that fans have created out of the tour in light of everything we know she was going through before and through it (and even more that we don’t) must have felt so gratifying and been so eye-opening.