#he’s so good in the sense that he’s so well written. just genuinely irredeemable but like. IN A WELL WRITTEN WAY

[ii-meeple-confessions]

I HATE cobs but also i’m obsessed with how he was written. I have genuinely never seen a villan character that has made me nearly as angry as cobs does. He’s insane. He’s unforgiveable. He values nothing exept his job. He will and HAS killed for his job. He’s horrible. Actually such an amazing character and so much of that credit goes to Joshua, his INCREDIBLY skilled voice actor. Rip cobs.You totally deserved to explode❤️

Does this count as a meeple confession because cobs is the ceo. of meeple.

uhhhm uhhm uhhhmmm just in case .mephone’s favorite music is canonically ringtones according to Brian on a livestream .if yuo even care😓

.

[phreakedt]

I was someone once... An adventurer.

(read more for me rambling about the emperor)

theres rarely any particular meaning or intent behind my art but i swear the emperor is literally my muse, so i thought id share my thoughts about what this piece means! i was listening to punish by ethel cain and couldnt get this idea out of my head… i feel like the line "i was an angel, but they made me leave" or the fallen from grace motif pretty well encapsulates the tragedy of balduran and the emperor and why he'll always be such a sympathetic character to me.

ultimately while there are valid reasons to believe the emperor's evil/irredeemable or whatever, its quite literally not his fault he became what he is. he never asked for his ceremorphosis (of course, he came to accept it, but that doesnt make it any less fucked up). its generally considered that mankind is capable of good and evil in equal measure, but if your humanity is literally stripped away from you, what is there to stop your descent? this isnt even to justify his actions but instead about how titles like "angel" and "demon", "good" and "bad" etc etc are so subjective and perception-based. like if it was the human(oid) balduran and not a mind flayer behind all his actions throughout the game, i doubt he'd be so universally hated. i mean, better a bad person than a literal monster, right?

there's also the "only god knows / only god would believe", or to me the idea that no matter how hard the emperor may try to exercise morality, he's so far departed from his former self that people will only ever see him as a villain, not a hero. its truly a damned if you do, damned if you dont situation. and most ironic is the fact that despite everything, he hasnt fully lost his humanity. he genuinely yearns for companionship and mourns what hes lost and who he used to be (to some degree). i think hes so well-written because he is just like you in the sense that hes simply playing the cards he was dealt, right or wrong. i could go on and on about this awesome character and song (especially its themes of perversion, punishment, and love) but that's the gist. thanks for reading ^^

[jumpywhumpywriter]

Traitors & Lovers (Hero & Villain) part 1

Warnings: kidnapping, sad topics of heartbreak & betrayal

@celestial-cosmica made a story request! Here's what I was asked: I don't know if you take requests but if you do, can you write a story where, the hero (M) nursing a tortured villain (F) whumpee to health after they got tortured for the hero's sake??

Villain was walking her usual path through the alleys she knew well, heading back to her lair under the cover of night. But it was quiet nights like these when her mind was able to wander that the memories came to haunt her. And almost all of them involved Hero, to her frustration.

She'd thought they really had something good going when they were dating. She'd loved him deeply, had fallen for every trick. She'd trusted Hero. And Hero had stabbed her in the back. Villain had been betrayed before -- she wasn't new to it -- and so she was wary and cautious when they first started their relationship... but she naively thought Hero would be different. That maybe, just maybe, Villain had found one person in the world who accepted her and loved her back. Who wouldn't abandon her. Who would care.

But ohhhh how wrong she had been. Hero had stolen her heart and shattered it after two whole years of love and affection in dating.

Villain had found out Hero's ulterior motives on her own. It started when her criminal plans were being foiled more often, despite how carefully she thought them through. It had been uncharacteristic, considering how Villain was one of the most untouchable villains in the city. She was smart, and dangerous.

But then Villain's accomplices began steadily being caught by other heroes and sent to prison. And after Supervillain had been taken down, Villain knew something was amiss. So she'd started to wonder, though it was unbearable to think about, if Hero was somehow using her to track down other villains. So she'd done some digging, rifling through Hero's phone one night when he was asleep in bed next to her and checking every message she could find for anything suspicious.

And the truth had hit her like a truck, broken her in ways she couldn't explain. It had shattered her heart to learn that Hero had been going behind her back to feed the information she gave him to the hero Agency. All of the innocently-worded questions Hero had asked Villain made sense now -- it wasn't because he was curious or genuinely interested in her work, it was because he'd secretly been interrogating her for information. Getting Villain to trust him enough to let him into her world.

Villain was hurt bad when she found out. To learn that Hero was just like all the others who had betrayed and abandoned her over the years was agony, especially after how long they'd been dating. The pain had ripped her apart inside, tearing a hole in her heart that could never be fixed.

She had left Hero asleep in their bed that night, disappearing entirely after leaving one hand-written message on the dining room table for her lover to find in the morning:

I know the truth. I never should have trusted you. Don't bother coming after me, because you'll never find me. Our relationship is over. Goodbye, Hero.

And with that, Villain had left the one person she'd cared about behind, choosing to run away and disappear. But the grief and anguish never faded even with the distance she put between herself and lover, the guilt that she should have known better than to trust again. To believe that people could change. Hero would always be the knight in shining armor, and Villain was destined to be painted as the irredeemable monster.

Villain found herself wondering during many restless nights, what did I do wrong? How much of what Hero has said to her was real? Did he ever even love her at all? Or was it all a lie to get information?

She was broken inside, and she'd been laying low ever since she discovered the truth. The thought of accidently facing Hero again was unbearable. So she'd stayed hidden for three years after she left him behind, living off the money she'd stolen in the past and resolving not to continue her career as a villain, out of fear she might see her former lover on the battlefield.

The first day Villain was gone she'd received a text from Hero: please don't go -- we need to talk. I can explain everything.

She had never replied, blocking his number instead and doing her absolute best to forget about him. But... a small part of her still foolishly loved the hero who betrayed her. Hero still held the tiniest piece of her heart, even if he didn't love her back. And that wound hurt worst of all, an invisible injury that just wouldn't stop bleeding every time Villain's thoughts wandered to him, that festered and rotted and ate away at her soul every single day. Even three years hadn't been enough to dull the pain.

Villain hated that she missed Hero's laugh, his warm embrace. Hated how she missed seeing his special smile, the one he reserved only for her. She hated him for what he did, using her for information, and she never wanted to see him again. And yet… there were still nights she wished she was back in their shared room, snuggling and warm and feeling truly loved for the first time in forever, even if it had been fake. She wanted to believe the lie, if it would only numb the agony.

Villain shook her head with an irritated scowl, forcing her mind back to the present and away from the awful memories haunting her. They were like a bitter taste in her mouth, a rotting tooth that ached every time she poked at it with her tongue. There was no going back to the way things were -- so no use dwelling on it. She had disappeared from Hero's life, and she was better off alone anyway, she told herself. Even if she didn't want to believe it sometimes. Hero probably didn't even remember her anymore.

Villain was so absorbed in thought she almost didn't notice the hunched figure against the wall of the alley she was walking through, barely visible in the night. She only realized it was an actual person when she nearly tripped over them.

"Sorry--" she started to apologize, but sharply sprung backward when the person suddenly jumped up and lunged out of the shadows toward her, hands outstretched.

"Back off!" Villain snarled, immediately going on the defensive. She'd already wound a fist back and was ready to fight, but the surprise had delayed her reaction time, just enough that the cloaked stranger got close enough to charge into her, knocking her off-balance and sending them both tumbling to the ground.

Villain's head barked with pain when it hit the hard asphalt, but she brought her knees to her chest and blindly heaved up, her feet connecting with the stranger's stomach and throwing them off with a satisfying wheeze.

She scrambled to her feet, whipping around and bolting to escape -- she hadn't been prepared for an ambush, and she didn't have any of her favorite weapons on her. She was at a distinct disadvantage here and knew better than to engage in a fight she wasn't 100% guaranteed to win.

But her attacker was quick to recover, and managed to snag her jacket with a hand before she could run, roughly yanking her backwards and wrapping her in a chokehold with one arm.

Next ⏩️

Masterlist

@scoundrelwithboba @lumpofsand @isikedmyself878 @iamheretohurt @fleur-a-whump

@ay5ksal @otterfrost @sausages-things @togzy

@whump-till-ya-jump @cravesunconditionallove @whumpwritinglover222 @written-in-the-stars135 @neverthelass

@starz8nk @redwinesupanover @whumpisgoodwhumpislife @theforeverdyingperson @whatwhump

@writing-with-olive

[ilikepjo24]

Azula's character was written for redemption...

So, as some of you may know, Aaron Ehasz was the headwriter and co-executive producer of the first two seasons of Avatar the last Airbender, so by all means, he had a lot of say about the creation of the characters and the 2/3rds of their development, or in some cases, 1/2nds. It's safe to say that next to nobody knows those characters and their purposes as well as he does.

And as some of you also know, after the show had ended, Ehasz made a tweet, publicly announcing that he always intended for Azula to have a redemption arc. Always. It wasn't a last minute decision, it was the end goal from the beginning. Which means that, naturally, in order to create a plotline that doesn't feel forced or odd, Ehasz needed to write a character that always had the potential to be redeemed. He couldn't create an irredeemable character and try to redeem them later. It wouldn't make sense.

Which is why Azula's character always was and still is a perfectly redeemable character.

I genuinely believe that the people that can't see that, simply fail to understand Azula's intentions.

I've had conversations with people that have had perfect understanding of Azula's state of mind, personality and actions, but still failed to understand why she's so redeemable, because they didn't understand her intentions. And I don't blame them for not understanding. You can look at Azula's character all you want, and you still won't see it. Because it isn't just about Azula. It's about the Fire Nation as a whole.

The thing about the Fire Nation is that they genuinely believe they are doing something that is good. It's not just a bunch of people that saw the opportunity to do something evil and did it for fun. Sozin did something evil for power and then gaslighted entire generations into believing they were going something good. The Fire Nation is a bunch of people that think they are doing something good.

In Azula's case, I drew a picture to help you understand.

(Disclaimer: Ozai's crown isn't historically accurate.)

As you can see in the picture, yes, at the end of the day, Azula does bad stuff, but not because she recognizes they are bad and genuinely wants to do then just because. She's s victim of manipulation from an adult she had every reason to trust and brainwashed by the same propaganda that controlled the rest of the nation.

So yes, she did bad stuff and she's a villain.

But she is redeemable.

Every time we see Azula try hard to complete a mission, she's passionate about it. She's passionate to do the "right" thing and she's passionate to make the person that loves her proud. That's why she doesn't evil stuff. It's not because she enjoys pain. It's not because she gets off on people suffering. It's because she thinks it's right, and she's rewarded with love.

Which is what makes her redeemable.

Because being passionate about doing something you think is right means you want to do right things. You just need your view of right to align with what's objectively right. So by that logic, all Azula needs is someone to teach her what is actually right and her views will align with that, and then she'd be passionate about doing the real right thing. The good stuff.

And someone that would do that for her, is someone who would obviously love her, or at the very least, someone who wants the best for her. So with time, it's logical to assume that sooner or later, she'll want to make this person proud.

There's nothing wrong with Azula's mentality of "do good, make proud". It's not inherently evil. Just easy to use. Right now, Ozai has used this to fill the blanks and turn the situation into "do fire nation good, make father proud". All Azula needs to be redeemed is for someone to remove the "fire nation" and "father" proud. Assuming that this person is Zuko, he should just switch it to "do what is considered good on a worldwide level, make brother proud" and just like that, Azula has gone from evil to good.

It's obviously easier said than done, but it is possible. Azula's mentality is what allows her to be anything, evil and good. It's really impressive and fascinating how Ehasz wrote such a character, but he did it for a purpose. This kind of mentality is perfect for creating an evil character that gets redeemed. And it's the exact same mentality Zuko also has. And Zuko hot redeemed, so Azula can too.

This proven.

[monstermoviedean]

it's honestly beyond wild how easily dean lets cas off for some pretty irredeemable, unforgiveable stuff with no understanding or even acknowledgement on cas' part of the kind of incredible actual-no-strings gift he's been given (and thrown away, rinse, repeat). i can appreciate the take that it just goes to show how deeply braindead in love dean is (and i might still be able to find the romance in it if there was ever any kind of equal or at least comparable weight on cas' end) but he can do (and has done) (and deserves) so much better! rip!! on a list of all dean's boyfriends ranked in order of how well they treated him cas would come in dead last.. can't even rate him over the ones that tried to kill dean because uh cas has not only done that too but also done that more than most (without even factoring in the mind control) lol wanky maybe but that doesn't make it untrue womp womp

anyway the trap effectively killed many of my charitable feelings for cas and despair took care of much of the rest. i know you're not there yet and still manage some warmth for cas besides (plus my post s15 cas/destiel opinions probably trend significantly more harshly than even the rare and wonderful few who have been openly critical of both that aren't br*nly/c*sties, i can acknowledge that lol) but after the trap and knowing what's still to come, it's very difficult for me to see cas-as-dean's-endgame being a positive thing for dean. that may be what he wants but like please for the love @ him: want better!!! i mean, s6 was tough but also so crunchy and opened the door for a world of (tragically unrealized) possibilities. the shadow that s15 and everything leading up to it casts over all of that is just.. so so long. there's been so many opportunities for cas to be better and he just. wastes them.

i'm so interested to see what your takeaway from despair is because it left me feeling kind of hollow on destiel and deeply skeptical of cas when stacked up against everything else. cas may be in love with his idea of dean but he's proven over and over again that he's either incapable of or unwilling to be and see dean as an equal, loving partner. idk if it's a fault in the writing (feels like a cop out to pin things on that though, especially when cas is actually written fairly consistently compared to most other characters) or just that mc isn't as dynamic/effective an actor as jackles but i find myself less and less convinced of cas' sincerity as time goes on. he's wildly selfish. i think it's far easier to make the argument in canon that everything he's done, including that confession, has been far more selfishly motivated than motivated by any genuine love or care for dean (or jack for that matter). maybe an uncharitable assessment, but not an unfounded one.

what dean says about angel's caring and cas playing sorry in 7x21 and cas insisting he's "a lot like people" to rowena's (very apt) assessment of him in 10x22 are always top of my mind when i try to make sense of cas in the aftermath. he's not sorry, he's playing sorry. he's not people, he's performing people. angels don't have souls and i'm not sure i really buy grace as a substitute but, even if i did, cas' has been waning for a very long time (which i wish had been explored more considering all of the weight the canon puts on having a soul). cas isn't that far removed from donatello who, in his soullessness, turned to mr rogers for behavioral cues. cas holds dean in that role, he's just not especially good at emulating him. or maybe just doesn't understand what it is he should be emulating. all of that to say that i really, truly believe cas wants to feel people feelings (feelings is dean as people is dean as humanity is dean etc etc etc), i'm just not sure if i buy that it's ever more than performance for him.

like fanfic is great, i love fanfic! post s15 fix-its moving further and further away from the "dean pulls his head out of his ass" model is such a gift!! but in actual canon?? ough. cas' very long, very well established patterns make canon destiel a super hard sell for me in a post s15 world. there's no reason to believe that things would ever change because, to the bitter end(?), they never did.

anyway anyway, i'm sorry for using your inbox as a rantbox and i fully understand if you ignore this, i know parts of it might be kind of a powder keg lol it's hard to not be cynical and frustrated by so much squandered potential i suppose, especially when so much of the fandom popular opinions on these things have been just so. bad and wrong. for so long. it's been a relief to see some of those tides turning as more people revisit the source material, though! please just know that i really have enjoyed following along on your rewatch and appreciate how much thought and care you put into understanding this show and these characters. i'm looking forward to seeing where what's left of the journey takes you!

there are some points here i agree with and some i don't, but i can entirely see where you're coming from. i just want to extend some love to you because yeah, sometimes this story is really incredibly frustratingly sad and bleak. also no need to apologize, i love inbox rants <3

i'm publishing this because i think there are a lot of interesting points of discussion about cas and his relationship with dean. blanket statement for anyone who might read it: i am not interested in cas-bashing or anon-bashing. don't do that here. or anywhere, frankly.

to start off: it IS beyond wild that dean lets cas off for some things. breaking sam's wall is the first example that comes to mind. i mean wow, good for dean for being the bigger person and forgiving there, but holy shit.

i'm gonna politely disagree with you on cas treating dean badly. i do see where you're coming from! this is something i've talked about before re: cas actually - that sometimes the way dean treats cas is viewed as poor treatment, but in actuality cas doesn't receive it that way at all. so cas' tendency to put the mission first, for example, is something that dean GETS. dean doesn't feel like cas is neglecting him by doing this. i think there are also circumstances in which cas' actions are understandable, even if i don't like them. and a lot of the "constant apocalypse" problems lead to responses that don't have a real-world equivalent. all that being said, i think one thing cas could fix/address is answering his phone when dean calls him.

on dean doing better - i think people in dean's life could and should treat him better. i also think he loves and cares about those people and would not trade them out, and i respect that.

on cas being better - mixed feelings on this. i totally understand where you're coming from and don't want to invalidate you here or at any point! i think cas is trying to be better. i think he's locked into a pattern where he only sees one option for being better - fixing things / getting wins / sacrificing himself / otherwise protecting dean and sparing dean harm. i feel for him there, i really do. smarter people than me have pointed to heaven brainwashing/upbringing as the reason this pattern exists. so i don't expect him to break out of that pattern, but i do think it's reasonable to wish he had come to recognize that this DOES harm dean. i think cas often believes he knows how dean feels. sometimes he's right, sometimes he's wrong. and in this case while dean can understand why cas is doing what he's doing and respect his decisions enough to not put up a fight about them, it does hurt dean to watch cas walk away into certain danger over and over. it especially hurts when dean has no power in the situation and is left with nothing to do but to hope cas comes back.

so i have actually seen 15x18 and have some feelings about it but i don't want to comment until i see it again. i know i missed a ton of context the first time i watched it (november 6 2020 after not having watched the show in a few years), and i'm interested to see how my interpretation changes!

one opinion i have that i don't think will change: i believe cas' pattern of keeping secrets to protect dean, then having those secrets blow up, causing dean pain and/or causing cas to leave, is not disrupted. i believe 15x18 reinforces this pattern, in fact. and i do not like that. i do appreciate that cas did it for love and he was backed into a horrible corner, and at the same time, from dean's perspective, it's another example of cas leaving.

on cas not seeing dean as an equal partner. hoooo boy, this one gave me pause. i am very conflicted about this, to be honest. i think cas THINKS he sees dean as an equal partner, but i'm not sure he actually does. i'm also not sure he treats him like one. consistently, at least. i think they're equals when they're dealing with "ordinary" problems (monsters, people), but when the problems are angel-level or higher, i think cas thinks he has more ability to solve those problems than dean does. sometimes he's right (cas should be the one talking to michael in 15x08, for example). but not always. and i could see that coming across as patronizing. i want to think more about this one!

on cas' selfishness. this is tough because i think cas is trying to be selfless in a way that comes across as selfish. he wants to be the hero. he believes he can be the hero. he wants to spare others from being the hero. and while that's usually well-intentioned (taking on burdens so others don't have to), it can read as "no one else is capable of this but me." and i think the major problem is that cas looks at things from a 30,000-foot level. he is often less concerned with the ground-level impacts. so when he's, idk, saying yes to lucifer, he's thinking "someone has to and it may as well be me" but he's not thinking "oh shit dean is going to have to watch lucifer parade me around and then kill me." while i understand his reasoning in these high-stakes no-win situations and i'm not mad about it, i do wish he would consider the impacts of his small decisions on others more often. sorry to bring up the phone thing again but it's the best example i've got - it would be nice if cas made it more of a priority to answer his phone when dean calls because it's important to dean, even if it isn't important to cas. it will help dean feel more secure and they will have a nice conversation because they enjoy talking to each other. we have hints of this kind of thing happening but i would like to see it more clearly and consistently. or like. icing sam out during the rupture was pretty shitty. he could have at least texted back. (yes he was in a bad spot, no he doesn't have to respond to sam all the time, but a little 'i'm not dead' text would have made a big difference)

i think "uncharitable but not unfounded" is very understandable. i, personally, believe cas loves and cares about dean. i also could come up with some examples of cas' actions that, regardless of intent, communicate to dean that this is not true. i think if you want to make a case that cas doesn't care, you can. i wouldn't agree with it, and i think there's a better case that cas does care, but i do recognize that the show itself leaves that door open. and it does bother me. i would feel better if cas showed more consistent and obvious care for dean TO dean.

i think cas does confuse/equate feeling guilty with feeling sorry. i think he does both, but sometimes he is playing sorry. i think his defense of jack at the end of s14 contradicts his claims of being sorry, for example. but i'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he is actually sorry most of the other times.

on cas' feelings - i see where you're coming from, and i disagree here. i think cas does have feelings, even if he doesn't always know what they are or how to process them. someone (i think ilarual?) made a cool post about cas growing a soul that i thought was a neat idea. but i can certainly sympathize with wanting the show to do more with angels, grace, angel feelings, etc.

i do believe cas is sincere in his care and in wanting to do better, and that's one reason i have faith in dean and cas being able to work it out and be good for each other! i think that's a major difference between our perspectives. and i don't have an answer here, because again, i see where you're coming from. if you're open to it, i might suggest considering cas' actions from a perspective that he's 100% sincere 100% of the time. it might be interesting to try, even if it doesn't change your opinions at all (and you definitely don't have to try it or change your opinions).

one million billion trillion percent agree on squandered potential. there are so many problems we've discussed here that i think could be fixed with attention and goodwill. but will they be fixed? sigh. i don't know. i like to believe so, but cynicism is also a fair response. i think a lot of my feelings come down to this question: if the show had continued, would 15x18 have been a turning point? would it have finally allowed dean and cas to change their relationship? or would it have set it in stone, never to be changed again? i think it's a matter of interpretation. i tend toward the former - that 15x18 would have changed everything and allowed them space to finally get it right - but i can also see why the latter works, especially because the show ending DID set it in stone that way.

it HAS been a relief to see shifts in conversation, and i hope they continue. and thank you so so much for your very kind words! they are not necessary but they are appreciated :) i often feel like i'm just fumbling around in the dark compared to a lot of others, and it's nice to hear i haven't completely mucked it up. also i really enjoyed answering this, so thanks for giving me so much to chew on!

[a-bottle-of-tyelenol]

hihi!!

Oh. Em. Gee.

Dude.

I read your Poseidon + Eurylochus fic a week ago I think and ohhh my goddd. It was so good. Like. So peak. (This is gonna be a rant bear with me)

THANK YOU for trying to actually understand his character and his feelings. It was such a good study on him and his dynamic with odysseus. As a diehard eury defender I cannot stand it when people hate on him just for that stupid freaking windbag vro 💔 like dawg the song literally says “THEY’re opening the bag”.

AND THE FREAKING POWER/SOCIAL STATUS DYNAMIC THING THANK YOU THAT WAS SO AWESOME AND PUT IT INTO SUCH A BETTER PERSPECTIVE FOR ME I DIDNT EVEN THINK ABOUT THAT BEFORE!!!

And thank you!!! For emphasizing his humanity. They were literally starving on Helios’ island like there was no other option to them!!!!!! HE IS QUITE LITERALLY JUST A—starving—MAN!!!

Im honestly a firm believer that he didn’t even care for the wind bag he was just as curious as the rest of the crew and they looked to him for the final decision—it was unanimous that they all wanted to open it, eury just HAPPENED to be the single guy who actually did the literal physical action of opening it. BECAUSE—like you said—THE CREW ALL LOOKED TO HIM BECAUSE HE WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO GAVE PUSHBACK.

It was literally so amazing and I like the portrayal of Poseidon as being godlike in his perspective of humans and still being kind/not apathetic/having pity but not mercy.

And it really makes me sad because I was on tiktok the other day and someone asked “what tag makes you immediately not want to read a fic” and most of the top comments were saying agere tags ☹️. Like it makes me feel so disheartened because someone could come across a fic as amazing and having as good as a character study and as well-written as yours and not want to read/miss out on it because of the tag!! like. ugh. idk I just don’t get it I will literally read a fic just because. out of curiosity for not knowing a tag, too see what kind of messed up nonsense is in a fic with such “egregious” tags, because my silly guy is there, literally just for the love of the game, etc. Like. Yall are missing out.

I wish I could glaze you more but I can’t come up with anything else at the moment but if I had the brain capacity and eloquence I would do this for 15 more paragraphs.

but, I digress. I would request agere eury hc’s but idk if that’s too greedy lmao. been on a hard eury kick as of late. He did allat but idc 💋.

Anyway!! Have a nice whatever time it is rn!!

(I tried my best not to curse so as to keep ur blog kid-friendly. hope ur proud 🙂‍↕️😼)

-🎶🩷

omg hihi !!! thank you so very much!!!! i can't tell you enough how much i appreciate the kind words, especially towards a fic that means to much to me personally <3

and genuinely dw about rambling or swearing on my account lolol i do both literally all the time. i have warnings in my pinned that i'm not the most kid friendly so it's alright, friend!

gonna put the rest of this under the cut though because i also wrote a lot lolol

eurylochus is absolutely my favorite epic character and i'll die on any hill defending him idc.

i've genuinely gotten hate for saying that there's a very real chance that eurylochus wasn't even the one to open the bag because of that lyric. i've tried explaining it to so many people that it literally doesn't make sense to make the lyric "they're opening the bag" when it could've easily been "he's opening the bag" and nothing would change. this lyric choice was literally meant to highlight that this was not any one person's decision and my actual interpretation of the scene is just that eurylochus is taking responsibility for it so that no one else is punished. i've been called delusional for saying that he could've been lying and its crazyyyy how far people will go to say "nuh uh!!! jorge intended him to be this unlikeable, irredeemable person!!!!" as if eurylochus very clearly isn't one jorge's fav characters like huh,,, (not to mention talya literally liked my comment defending eury but that's neither here nor there lol)

i personally think that it literally doesn't matter either way because it was always very obvious that it wasn't eurylochus acting as a singular individual. either he didn't open the bag at all and simply took responsibility for it because it was his job to keep the crew handled, he DID open the bag alone but it was either because the crew wanted to do it anyways or because he believed it was in the crew's best interest, or he was literally just apart of the group that opened it and claimed he did it alone because he blames himself for not doing more to stop it. EITHER WAY THE RESULT IS THE SAME!!! and either way, he isn't this scheming villain that was too stupid not to listen to ody or whatever.

i don't know-- i just think the fandom's perception of eurylochus as a whole is extremely skewed towards this black and white "odysseus is always correct" kind of mentality as if the show is trying to make you wonder what the right decisions were. if eurylochus were our protagonist then half the discourse surrounding him wouldn't exist, but because you have to actually think critically about eurylochus beyond surface level interpretations, it's hard for people to do that. which, honestly, saying that makes me sound pretentious as hell but im convinced most people don't even listen to the lyrics because a startling amount of people think eurylochus is telling odysseus to abandon ALL of their men in puppeteer and not just the ones that were lost to circe so idkkkk

but yeah, i think there are a lot of layers to odysseus and eurylochus that people tend to ignore. i don't really remember what i wrote in that fic ngl but i do remember that i wrote it after i made my post talking about how jorge puts a lot of work in making the lyrics commentate on the social dynamic of eurylochus and odysseus. it isn't a mistake that he said "i need you to always be DEVOUT and comply with this our we'll all DIE in this" immediately after making odysseus spit out "I am neither man nor mythical"!!!!! there are so many points in the show where odysseus paints himself to be above his men, either because that's how he personally views himself or just because that's the reality! he's a king, something LITERALLY above men but below god. eurylochus is a guy without ANY power here-- especially in jorge's canon where he's actually just a guy that grew up in poverty before managing to court his way into the family!

mutiny as a whole requires you to make a whole lot of inferences about eurylochus' arc and the nature of his relationship with odysseus and that's why it's, in my opinion, one of (if not THE) most misunderstood songs in the entire show. everything eurylochus does here relies on the audience understanding a whole lot of implied things- like his representing the crew and how that's showcased through his instrumentation, or how there's an implied arc after circe's island where he realizes that odysseus was correct and fell in line like he was supposed to (that's what him lacking a single isolated part in 'different beast' is supposed to tell us) and THAT'S why he's so mad about scylla, or how part of why he's mad and why he says odysseus has to take all the responsibility with the power is because odysseus has spent this entire musical YAPPING HIS ASS OFF and getting them in trouble over and over and over again and yet the one time this shit is actually working, he decides not to talk??? he decides not to communicate what's going on??

like don't get me wrong, it's a damned if you do (because he told them about the windbag) damned if you don't (because he didn't tell them about scylla) and it's going to lead to people dying regardless, but that understanding is as far as people will go. again, if this had been from eurylochus' perspective, the opposite would happen and people would view odysseus as an irredeemable monster. and this might sound pretentious again but i do think that the fandom as a whole will do a flip on eurylochus when/if jorge comes out with that mini-musical dlc of the show from his perspective. i think that he really does need to hold people's hands and explain bit by bit why the tragedy of odysseus and eurylochus actually works.

i also appreciate that you liked poseidon! it was my first time writing him and i was still getting a handle on my characterization of him so it means a lot <33

i think poseidon is very similar to eurylochus in that his views and arc is all implied so most of the fandom ignores it or doesn't realize it's there. unlike eurylochus, i do think this is a bit of an issue with poseidon but, ultimately, that's just my opinion and me preferring "in vain" to "get in the water" lolol either way, i like portraying him as a god scorned by his own (previous) humanity. it makes his conflict mirror odysseus' and i really like that.

and, yeah, you might've just seen my post complaining about tiktok opinions on fanfic but i really dislike those guys. i've been doing my best to make my fics accessible to everyone-- non-regressors, regressors that don't relate to the community, regressors that do relate to the community, people who have no idea what agere is, ect.-- and i have gotten quite a few comments on some of my epic agere fics of people saying that i was their first exposure to agere! but it is really unfortunate that so many people judge it without looking into it or giving multiple writing styles a chance.

i love writing agere and the comments i get on my fics are truly so wonderful. there's nothing that means more to me than hearing someone say that they felt seen by my fic in a way that they've been before because so much of agere is a single representation that they just don't relate to. there are downsides to everything, though, and one of them is that my fics get very little exposure.

i don't think i deserve it or that i'm too good for the community i do have, but there are times when i write something and i wish i hadn't made it agere because then it might get more hits. that eurylochus fic is one of them (and it's super noticeable because only like 10% of that fic is even agere but i'd already committed too hard to it and i needed it for regressuary). i really just wrote that fic because i wanted to force my eurylochus & poseidon characterization and dynamic on other people. i have a couple other fics about odysseus (the ability to rest, living in a dream, and finally home) that i think are BANGERS in terms of my actual writing and the dynamics i describe (usually between odysseus and a certain god or odysseus and telemachus). they do get attention and im really happy that the epic fandom is so open to agere on ao3 (probably because there's so many of us posting to the tag and there's not enough regular epic fics LMAO), but it does definitely blow knowing that there's a lot of people that will just never read them because of how they're tagged.

i feel this way about my mha fics too. i currently have a mha fanfic that's ongoing with a 350k wordcount and halfway through that, i decided to officially add age regression to the story and tags. it had been HEAVILY implied throughout the entire thing but i didn't tag it or give it an official callout in story until the fifth fic of the series. i always go back and forth on whether or not i regret that because, on one hand, it's probably been many people's first exposure to agere in a neutral setting where it's not a primary focus and they likely learned a lot about it from my representation of it. on the other hand, how many people dropped the story after twenty-four 10k+ chapters because of it? and how many will continue to do so? do people who don't like it but put up with it because it's such a minor part grit their teeth and cringe every time my main character is childish now because they know it's not just a quirky trait?

im working on another mha long fic with a character in it that canonically age regresses in the show, but people ignore that or reject it all the time so part of me doesn't even want to add the agere tag and just have it be implied because the fic *might* get more interactions then. it's definitely a skewed way to thing, a perspective dictated by someone (me) who just really wants as much community and interactions as they can get, but it still sucks and i fear no one wins no matter what you do.

BUT ANYWAYS tldr im just insecure and the current wave of inane tiktok opinions definitely don't help. i really do appreciate people taking a chance on my fics even if they aren't sure about the tags <33 it always means a lot to me

moving on lolol you're not greedy at all!!! i'll put eurylochus on the list of requests!!! it'll probably be a little bit because i have like five different requests sitting in my inbox but it'll happen eventually!!! i'm always itching for more eurylochus anyways so it'll be a good time <3

thank you again for the kind words!!! it genuinely means so much to me and i love having the excuse to yap like this lol :D

[susandsnell]

🌻

I almost missed this one!!

I'm a big fan of all kinds of gothic romances, absolutely morally bankrupt characters (and the fucked up ways they might fall in love or lust or obsession or something in between), villains and foes and psychosexual nightmares, all that good stuff. I do not believe fiction needs to be moral or didactic in this respect. I say this as a preface to what I have to say next because I think it's a genuinely unpopular opinion:

This is an Edward Rochester hate zone.

I cannot abide this man. I hated him when I was thirteen, and I hate him at twenty-five. (I believe I once wrote "he should have gotten crispy in that fire" in some free reading assignment or other.) His Byronicisms all fall just in the wrong way for me, in large part because they are gross in a way that feels painfully real that isn't fun to read about, and they aren't tempered by any traits to recommend him. I find him not at all interesting and entirely unsympathetic. The only time I ever liked him was when he was doing the most with the drag act, but even then that was pretty loaded.

This all makes him a realistic jerk so he is perhaps well-constructed and well-written, but I for the life of me have never gotten the appeal of this dickwad. He's so mired in his own privilege and unearned self-pity that I genuinely find him to be insufferable. This is a bit bizarre to me as I have adored characters who have done objectively far worse and behaved far more cruelly and violently than he ever did, but again, as asserted earlier - I can get into an awful person being awful if they're doing so in a way that's interesting to witness, and/or if this is balanced out by humanizing elements. Heathcliff abuses women and children and kills innocent animals and he's still intensely sympathetic. Sweeney Todd did all of that and I feel for his plight and love his wry sense of humour and capacity for deep love. The Vampire Chronicles' entire thesis is that even the truly monstrous among us are made human by their ability to connect to art and to one another. To clarify, I know that a character need not have suffered/had a tragic backstory to be sympathetic or interesting just as people we know don't require xyz to be deserving of compassion (for instance I enjoy Dracula being The Worst because he's interesting, he's irredeemable with some zazz), but in terms of what he feels and how he acts, I cannot find any avenue for this connection to come in. I know that it's not uncommon as a modern reader to feel horror for Bertha Mason rather than at her (and it's not '''purity culture"/Puriteens/whatever paper skinned English majors are coming up with now to dismiss any critical discussion of books they like to feel this way!), and this plays a large part in my reading, but he's also cruel and dehumanizing to Jane in a way that feels very much like a Victorian era equivalent of negging/overpraise, which strikes exactly the wrong nerve in me compared to other destructive romances I've liked. That's not to say that one is more or less realistic than another, and comes down to personal bias, but I feel what I feel, and this is a free opinion sunflower emoji ask lolol.

I understand Jane Eyre and like most of it. I understand what a huge step it was as a protofeminist work, the reversing of the power balance by having him be humbled and reliant on her by the end, the emphasis on Jane's freewill and self-worth in the face of her horrific struggles and turmoil.

I cannot grasp wanting to be around this man for more than five minutes. Truly no judgment to those who get something out of this guy, but I just Don't See It.

[maya-matlin]

What common Degrassi takes do you most disagree with, ie Zig being cocky and smooth, etc!

1.) Obviously, that one LOL. If someone legitimately tries to argue that Zig "I'm terrible at pretty much everything" "But is it good enough for you?" Novak is confident.. they're objectively wrong. They're getting stuck on him looking the part of the confident, bad boy and ignoring half of what comes out of his mouth.

2.) Darcy isn't irredeemable or a bad person because she falsely accused Snake of being inappropriate with her. She was a scared, traumatized child who panicked because she was thrown into a situation where she would be forced to talk about her rape before she was ready. Snake handled all of that completely wrong, even though he meant well. It didn't come from a heartless, malicious place. She immediately tried to take it all back and openly supported his return to the school. His career wasn't ruined. He eventually became the principal. I genuinely don't understand where people's compassion is when it comes to this story line. Darcy wasn't the ideal victim. She was never supposed to be.

3.) None of the canonically lesbian characters should have been bisexual. Based on what we saw from each one introduced to us with the assumption that they were straight (Alex, Fiona, Zoe), their eventual coming out journeys made sense. Could they have been written with more care with an actual explanation as to how they came to identify this way? Absolutely. But I feel like the Degrassi fandom constantly invalidates their sexualities, especially with Zoe, because they're upset they no longer get to justify shipping them with men.

4.) Don't kill me, but Eli calling Clare a whore wasn't out of character. It was cruel and he had zero excuse, but based on the number of times Eli lashed out at Clare and other people, it makes total sense that he'd say the worst possible thing he could think to say under the mistaken impression that he'd been wronged. He was hurt and angry, and he wanted her to feel bad. He behaved in a similar way after their first breakup.

5.) Jimmy wasn't the perfect boyfriend. In fact, Jimmy never gets enough shit for being so passive aggressive in relationships, particularly when he's ready to end it and emotionally invested in another girl. But because he's cowardly, something we saw pretty consistently over the years, he waits for his girlfriends to notice so that he doesn't have to be the bad guy and can play innocent. Overall, there are little things about Jimmy that bug me, such as calling Ashley a slut. And on that note, this fandom is way too comfortable openly enjoying slut shaming when they feel like the character is unlikable or irritating enough to "deserve it" (Clare and Ashley).

6.) Obligatory reminder that Zig didn't murder Cam due to his depression leading to his suicide and multiple things over the course of a couple of days playing a role in the headspace Cam was in when he ended his life

7.) Liberty was completely fucked over during her pregnancy arc. Excuse me. JT's pregnancy arc. It was blatantly racist how the show chose to be revolutionary by focusing on the black pregnant girl's white boyfriend for the entirety of her pregnancy. Liberty was the villain in her own story line because the writers really wanted us to understand how much pressure JT was under due to expecting a child, worrying about finances, his life changing drastically, etc. Things must have been rough for Liberty as well, but meh. She's just a bitter, controlling, bitch who never deserved JT. Seriously, I see that take a lot. In my opinion, they both could have handled things better, but neither was getting the help or support they needed. Liberty seemed to be in denial and couldn't cope with the fact she'd allowed herself to become pregnant due to carelessness when she's supposed to be so responsible. A lot must have been going on with her, both mentally and emotionally, but we never hear about it or see any of it.

8.) Clare and Drew were actually a good (no, great) ship. Many fans just weren't prepared or happy to see either with someone else due to the popularity of the Eli/Clare and Drew/Bianca relationships. It also wasn't random, out of character, or even all that forced based on how their characters had grown through the years. It's funny to see Clare described as being not Drew's type when he's pretty consistently into smart, ambitious women who can put him in his place. And in the case of Clare, her preferences are all over the place with Drew not being all that different physically or personality wise from KC or Jake. Their emotional connection grew and deepened for almost the entirety of season 13, including the summer between school years and for the majority of their senior year. Even though their decision to sleep together was impulsive and surprising, in reality they'd been circling each other for months. It was bound to happen, and then it did.

9.) Another thing I disagree with is that Maya should have talked about Cam more or told ___ about his suicide. It was very obvious to me that Maya was extremely triggered by Cam's death and struggled to move past it. It makes perfect sense that she'd struggle to even talk about it. It was extremely painful and personal to Maya. Miles was never going to be the one she opened up to. He just wasn't. This isn't even necessarily a pro Zaya thing. But the fact Zig was around for Cam's death and understood most of Maya's pain meant that Maya opening up to Zig about the way she was feeling and acknowledging her ex's existence was far more likely than Maya opening up to Miles, someone she struggled to open up to emotionally or relate to beyond what he was willing to share. At a certain point, it starts to feel like Maya bringing up Cam for the sake of bringing up Cam. Not because it's actually helping Maya or moving her story forward in any way.

10.) Tristan's biphobia towards Miles didn't happen in a vacuum. While Tristan's character was extremely flawed and he wasn't always the most likable person, it honestly came across to me that his biphobia got so out of control because it took the writers a long time to catch on to the fact that Tristan invalidating his boyfriend's sexual orientation was inappropriate, dehumanizing, and shouldn't have been written off as catty comments not meant to be taken seriously. Degrassi overall didn't handle polysexual identities very well. Paige's attraction to women was downplayed aside from her relationship with Alex. Imogen was also never labeled, eventually being referred to multiple times during her final season as a lesbian.

11.) Lola got the right endgame, and she definitely shouldn't have kept Miles's baby.

[elysia-nsimp]

Hey so, I saw the post you deleted and I'd like to point out something. Saying stuff like 'he's written badly and makes little sense' comes across as kinda, 'foregone conclusion' that he is, like it's a factual matter of 'good vs bad' and not one of missed nuances and confusing framing as well as opinion? I think that's what annoyed people. Sorry that one of them was a bit harsh though

I realized that my wording probably felt like.. I was missing something major or missing parts of his character, which is why I made my edit to try to recontextualize what I meant. Kokichi’s writing is not black and white, good or bad, just. Could have been done better in my opinion (emphasis on MY opinion please don’t kill me)

Communicating exactly what I mean is difficult for me, which is probably part of the confusion (and in turn the anger I received), but at the end of the day, my opinions on how his character was framed and written by the story itself was NOT the point of the post at all. It was more background context that I only wanted to briefly touch on, which in hindsight I could have easily left out. Alas, I have no concept of what’s socially acceptable, ESPECIALLY not in the Danganronpa community. Accidentally whacked a wasp nest with that one, and that was my bad.

My post was a question about a COMPLETE rewrite, because I wanted to do something new with the character using my own viewpoints and I wanted to know what others would find a more interesting concept to explore. I got my answer, with almost everyone agreeing taking a more sympathetic antag route would be more interesting (as much fun as I would have had trying to write a version of Kokichi that’s irredeemable, because I do love that type of character, admittedly writing the aforementioned is much easier)

I do apologize, genuinely, for the misunderstandings my lack of communication skills led to. I did not mean to offend anyone or come across as high and mighty or anything of the sort. I did not handle the situation as masterfully as I had liked, but rest assured I will be more careful next time. I understand where I went wrong and will be choosing my words more carefully if I ever criticize a character’s written framing again.

At this point I’d kind of like to just. Leave that alone and not talk about it beyond this post? I don’t take well to conflict and otherwise strong emotional reactions due to my own neurodivergencies, which frankly isn’t any one’s problem but mine, but that’s why the post is now deleted.

I send well wishes to anyone reading this, and thanks to the people who had genuinely kind and helpful responses to everything that happened. I am still learning how to exist and interact, so the compassion expressed by people like Anon here is much appreciated. /gen

[ruby-whistler]

Why c!Dream should (and probably will be) redeemed

Hi! I’m bad with intros. You’ve read the title, so, let’s start with the definitions.

In this essay, we are considering the popularized definition of “redemption” instead of the classical one, which is, as per the Oxford Dictionary, “the act of saving or state of being saved from the power of evil; the act of redeeming.” That’s not however the way the word is used in fandom and media.

/dsmp /rp

The definition of redemption I’ll be working with in this essay is not forgiveness by the people who c!Dream has hurt, nor is it removing himself entirely from his past actions, but moreso the decision to change for the better and abandon destructive mindsets for himself and others.

A “redemption” in a narrative sense would be circumstances and a character arc that would allow that kind of healing and betterment.

I’d like to start this off by the fact that being “irredeemable”, in this sense, also doesn’t exist; redemption is a thing of conditions and choice, not of being allowed by someone else. You can’t gatekeep healing from people who seek it, just to be clear, and that even goes for people who have done terrible things.

Since I understand there is a lot of concern for c!Dream’s past actions, here is a post from people who are much more fit than me to speak on the matter, about the way in which they see a possible c!Dream redemption arc.

Another disclaimer, I am not going to be considering c!Dream only from the perspective of c!Tommy in this essay. c!Dream appears in other people’s perspectives and he himself has his own, unseen perspective. As a character, he is an individual person in his own right rather than just the antagonist of c!Tommy’s story, and so I do not have much concern for their narratives intertwining too much should this writing choice occur.

I’d also like to note that redemption is, in this sense, always a positive thing for everyone involved - someone who’s been prone to doing bad things in the past deciding not to do them anymore and try to change, or just simply heal enough to consider it, isn’t going to have a long-term negative effect in any of the characters, but rather the other way around. Healing is an unlimited resource, and the victims do not have to heal first for the person who hurt them to consider being better.

Here’s a well-written thread on Twitter that elaborates a bit to finish off this point, and let’s move on to actually talking about redemption in the context of the Dream SMP, and c!Dream specifically.

Why a c!Dream redemption arc is not only a good writing choice, but in this case the only good writing choice;

c!Dream, as we all know, has been subject to mental and physical abuse to the point of straight up torture by both c!Sam and c!Quackity (to different extents). He has been in indescribable amounts of suffering for the past 74 days at the time this essay will be published. That is six and something times the duration of the entire exile arc in canon.

Whatever the interpretation of his words in prison is, what is undeniable is first of all the fact his mental stability is absolutely crushed at this point, second that no human being could possibly ever deserve to undergo this, and third, his stay in the prison is showing off his humanity and making him out to be sympathetic.

Now, consider this; how would it feel if c!Tommy died at the end of the exile arc? Empty, there would be no catharsis to such an end, especially because of all of the hurt he’d gone through. Objectively, a bad writing choice.

Let’s compare, narratively of course, this situation to the prison arc. Even though I would never say one of them is “better” or “worse” than the other, since both are terrible and undeserved, c!Dream’s current state checks off all of the boxes that would make his death unsatisfying in the storyline; even if people want him gone, there would still be the dissatisfaction at the current build-up and why they even did it in the first place (it really wasn’t necessary to anyone else’s story to make him out as a victim, and yet they did) if they were planning to kill him off anyways. And since the prison arc is naturally meant to induce sympathy, even from an angst perspective it would simply not make sense within the themes and writing of the plot.

So, c!Dream can’t die, and he also can’t stay in the prison forever - the build-up must lead to something, which is logically a breakout. Great… what now?

Well, the Dream SMP prides itself in accurate representation of trauma and mental instability, specifically cc!Tommy and cc!Dream who have pulled it off incredibly during the exile arc.

Now, undoubtedly, after the prison, c!Dream is going to be just terribly traumatized- considering the writers’ past creative decisions, would it make sense for him to play the role of a dangerous, heartless villain in other people’s stories, while completely ignoring the logical fallout of what he’s been through?

In my mind, no. The most possible result is that cc!Dream is going to rightfully portray someone who’s been hurt so much he is broken, scared and tortured into submissions over months of agony and slowly stripping away of his agency, his dignity, his humanity. And that is… not going to be pretty, nor is he going to be in any way the same as before.

After everything, I’d be surprised if he can properly look at shears without shaking. That’s not villain behaviour, that’s the behaviour of someone who needs help.

Which leads me to another point, which is relatability. Believe me or not, there are people out there who heavily relate to c!Dream because they have been through things that allow them to see themselves in the character - abandonment, mental illness, etc. - or who have had destructive mindsets they have struggled to let go of in the past.

To them, as well as to the viewer, redeeming c!Dream could actually be a very good example, showcasing that anyone who has done bad things or has been hurt in the past can learn that it is possible to be better, to move on, to not be stuck in a loop but to actively seek help and then use that support to find the path to healing.

Making c!Dream a better person, who in a way, wins over his past, over his trauma, over the hurt he’s caused, and manages to actually get better… is inspiring, in a sense. It shows that you can abandon unhealthy mindsets, you can find a support group of people who care about you, you can make your life better simply by deciding to be better and then sticking to that, no matter how difficult the process.

This is why I believe that redeeming c!Dream would not be bad writing, but quite the opposite, and that the prison arc is an obvious set-up. Alright, but how does that work with the character? How could someone so widely hated mentally improve in such a seemingly violent and terrible environment? Would it even make sense within the context of c!Dream’s character so far? Well,

Why c!Dream has the capacity for healing and the Dream SMP the ability to provide it;

First of all, let’s remind ourselves that through c!Dream’s entire spiral he wasn’t ever directly given a chance to change. He was regarded as someone to defeat in order to accomplish a happy ending, or as someone who needed to be removed in order to achieve power on the SMP. Ever since the 16th, which is when the corruption of the character is the most obvious, there have been no attempts to reach out or to help him. I do not blame the characters for this - I am simply pointing out that since it has never happened before, we do not know how he would respond, and that, after everything he’s been through, any bit of kindness or compassion towards him will be a new concept he will have to learn to deal with somehow.

This point is especially driven home by the fact that both c!Quackity and c!Sam would often tell him he is a monster who deserves nothing but to suffer, and that what he’s going through is never going to amount to all the hurt he’s caused - basically removing any possibility for ever getting better (because by this logic, he doesn’t deserve support, and he doesn’t deserve to get better) from his line of sight.

He also hasn’t had a support system since shortly after the 16th, when his friends left him over c!George’s dethronement and made no effort to mend their relationship afterwards. c!Dream isn’t used to having allies and people on his side, but to being hated; again, wouldn’t that mean positive reinforcement could very well be all he needs to make the choice?

His bad mindsets - attachments are weakness, ends always justify the means, people will consider you a bad person no matter what you do - have been continuously proven right by his environment, even in prison. Any kind of subversion, plus an explanation as to why they are wrong, could be of great help to c!Dream.

Just another disclaimer; I do not believe c!Dream would change thanks to the treatment in prison, but rather despite it. His mental stability is non-existent at that point, and in order to get better he needs genuine emotional support from the people around him as well as to heal before he can redeem himself.

Alright, but… c!Dream has hurt a lot of people. Who would be fit to help him?

Let’s start off with the worst option and why it’s impossible the writers would even attempt this; c!Tommy.

c!Tommy has no responsibility to help or ever forgive c!Dream - not to say he could. The two, as it is, would drag each other down instead of helping in any capacity, and only make matters worse. The two of them shouldn’t even interact in the best case scenario - the best thing for both of them would be if they got enough healing and support individually that they could live around each other and not get their trauma or toxic habits triggered when interacting for whatever purpose of the plot.

So, if not c!Tommy (and c!Tubbo neither by extension), who could redeem c!Dream?

Well, he can’t do it on his own for sure. Being in nature with animals is nice, but further isolation from other people would merely help with the prison trauma, not with the state of his tendencies when interacting with others. He, once again, needs positive reinforcement from other people for him to heal properly.

There are two main options for this in my mind, and then there’s a few individuals he could also find comfort in, including people from both groups or those unaligned.

1) Kinoko Kingdom

From the people of this new country, c!Dream has never negatively interacted with c!Karl before, he has never hurt c!George and he hasn’t directly harmed c!Sapnap. Although the relationship with his old friend group could be difficult to rekindle, none of them have grudges against him that are too personal, and they have been canonically close friends since the beginning of the SMP, so it would be very much possible to rebuild burnt bridges. They’d be familiar, and with the addition of c!Karl they could be a good source of comfort for c!Dream after he either breaks out or is released from prison - just gotta convince c!Sapnap not to kill him first.

2) The Syndicate

From the Syndicate, c!Dream has never directly interacted with c!Nikki, and from what I know of her character she never seemed to be very affected by his actions - even doing his work for him when he was planning to burn down the L’Mantree. c!Techno is an ally who doesn’t have anything against him, and as for c!Ranboo, here is why I believe c!Dream being in the Syndicate could be positively influential on his character arc as well;

c!Ranboo and c!Philza have had a conversation about change, during which c!Ranboo made it clear he thinks everyone can change except for c!Dream; who, in his mind, is “too deep down the rabbit hole”. c!Philza replied that he thinks anyone can change if given enough time.

… you see what I’m getting at?

c!Dream has been implied to be an ally to c!Ranboo’s enderwalk state (or the state when he has access to his full memory), and hence would most likely not behave negatively towards him at all. While it might make it more difficult for c!Ranboo to deal with his own issues, it might also give him more motivation to get to the bottom of it as well, especially since he now has access to the person who, presumably, started this all. While this is going on, c!Dream would show himself in a much different light than c!Ranboo sees himin, which could lead to confusion, realization of the flaws in his own logic, and hence, positive character development.

Here’s a great post about why c!Techno as a character could be a great asset in c!Dream’s healing process & redemption, and why there is not much need to worry about him not knowing or finding out about c!Dream’s actions.

Of Kinoko Kingdom and the Syndicate, as far as I know, neither c!Tommy nor c!Tubbo have ever been directly involved with these groups, nor are they planning to.

Another important point to make is that, while c!Tommy needs to be kept away from c!Dream in order to heal properly, the same goes for c!Quackity and c!Sam in c!Dream’s case. While c!Quackity has high chances to interact with either Kinoko Kingdom or the Syndicate in the future, there’s an even higher chance, in that situation, that c!Dream would be offered protection, which is also important; there is no healing from trauma without the knowledge of safety, to some degree.

So, this was an essay as to why I think c!Dream’s recovery and redemption (one needs to come before the other, naturally) is not only extremely possible but also could be pulled off well and have a positive impact on both the characters, and the audience.

[dangermousie]

Hello !

I was wondering whether you could rate and tell us of your top 5 favourite webnovels/cnovels of all time ?! (Sorry if this has already been answered lol😅)

Thank you, stay safe and have a nice day🖤

Awww, thank you and that is such a lovely ask!!!

From n1 to n5, here they are (they happen to be all danmei.)

1. The Husky and His White Cat Shizun (2ha) - my n1 forever and ever.

Taxian Jun, the horrific cultivation emperor of the world who razed cities and destroyed sects, is surrounded on his mountain. The righteous sects are terrified to confront him but tired of living, Taxian Jun consumes poison and dies by suicide at the age of 32. And opens his eyes as 16 year old Mo Ran, Mo Ran long before he became Taxian Jun, Mo Ran who is excited at a chance to save the one person he loved and lost. Oh, and to deal with his loathed shizun, the unapproachable and strict Chu Wanning, his past life’s biggest enemy.

I have no idea if it’s objectively the best on this list but it hits every trope I love, its bleak worldview (the world will change only incrementally but that’s enough, average person will not appreciate the sacrifice but it’s still worthwhile, and love is worth everything) mirrors mine, and the sheer complexity of the plot and cascade of plot twists each of which is insane and yet completely logical, is amazing (this is a rare novel where it’s even more fun to reread than read for the first time because you keep seeing all the hints and trail crumbs laid out that you did not see the first time.)

And the characters!!! I mean, this novel has multiple universes/timelines, a side trip to the Underworld AND the demon realm, a plot more twisted than a store’s worth of pretzels and yet the thing that hits me the most are the characters. Mo Ran is my favorite web novel character of all time and I love Chu Wanning so. All the secondary characters are wonderfully written (and some of them made me bawl) and they are all complex. My opinion of all of them changed many times over; the novel doesn’t make it easy to love some of them but then you do and it’s so worthwhile! That slow change is one of the delights of the novel - I started out disliking the unpleasant, superior Chu Wanning and cruel, callow Mo Ran and then I loved them so so hard and cried for them so so hard and was in awe of their heroism and sacrifice and selflessness and capacity to love.

Oh, and the fact that this novel does something almost impossible - it has its protagonist start out as so clearly irredeemable and then slowly and painfully and thoroughly redeems him (without ever letting the reader forget what it is he needs redemption for.)

Also, for a novel that made me cry so hard I felt ill, this book is just so damn funny with the most sarcastic sense of humor imaginable (the serious angst doesn’t even kick in until 90+ chapters!)

Anyway I should stop or I will write a dissertation. But this is the one web novel that I would put in my top 5 not just web novels but any novels in any shape or form. The plentiful trigger warnings are there for a reason so stay away if they are an issue, but if not, if anyone hasn’t read it yet, what are you doing with your life?!

2. Stains of Filth (Yuwu) - another novel by the author of 2ha. Clearly she just pushes all my buttons every time. This one is much shorter and has a plot that is twisty but less twisty than 2ha. Still, all that means is that intensity and the pain are more concentrated.

Aristocratic Mo Xi and former slave Gu Mang were both legendary generals of the empire and lovers. But Gu Mang betrayed the country and switched to the enemy. Now he is back as a peace offering by that country and Mo Xi has to deal with the fact that his feelings are as strong as ever.

This novel!!! So much pain and intensity!!! So many amazing plot twists and supporting characters. The same bleak world view, the same unjust society, the same protagonists doing right things despite the cost. Mo Xi’s intensity and inability to let go (he’s imprinted on Gu Mang and that’s it) is romantic, bone-shakingly intense, and tragic all at once. And oh Gu Mang! So many times I just wanted to reach into the book physically to protect him. The novel deals with unjust societies, memory versus personality, what it’s like to be good in a bad universe etc. And it both made me sob and giggle, repeatedly, and sold me on literally death-defying (but not honor-defying!) love.

Oh, and special shout out to the fact that like 2ha, you may start out hating some characters and end up a rabid fangirl (cough Murong Lian!)

3. Qiang Jin Jiu - a dense political tome that takes a while to get going but then it’s a runaway train.

In a fictional dynasty, Shen Zechuan, the only remaining son of a disgraced aristocratic family and Xiao Chiye, the younger son of a family of generals guarding the border join forces (and then something else) to get power and pull down the dysfunctional system.

This is so elegant and smart (a rare web novel I’d recommend to anyone who just loves solid period fiction) and you probably need a notebook to keep track of the politics and military strategy. These characters are very very smart not just because the author says so.

As to the characters, there is a large cast and I love many of them, but for me the novel is made by Shen Zechuan and Xiao Chiye. SZC is gorgeous and delicate and icy and can kill you before you have time to blink. Saddled with the sins of the family he had no pleasant interaction with, he claws his way out of hell (seeing the sinkhole he was trapped in, literally as well) to take down those who wronged him but also to amass power so all the tragedy and corruption won’t happen again and the whole rotten system comes crashing down. XCY is a military genius who is trapped as a hostage in the capital because the court doesn’t trust his family. He longs to return to the plains of home and to take his rightful place. The two men start out as bitter enemies, then reluctant and sniping allies, then as friends and eventually as one of the most gorgeous, tender, swoony OTPs.

Anyway this is one is a bona fide masterpiece, equal parts smart and emotionally intense.

4. Wu Chang Jie - are you an emotional vampire? I am and this novel is a banquet.

In a highly fantastical setting, we meet our protagonists - the sunny Xie Bian and the intense and surly Fan Wushe. Xie Bian is a human who assists his master in conveying souls to the underworld and making sure no mishaps happen. Bian is concentrated sunshine in human form and to meet him is to love him. When the novel opens, his drunk master brings back another human to be his shidi and assist with duties - said human is uncommunicative, intense and surly Wushe. Bian is excited to have a shidi but little does he know that a story dealing with the horrors of past lifetime is about to start.

Anyway, why WCJ? So many reasons. It has such a dark bleak worldview - this world is a horrifying system where powerful cannibalize each other’s cores for an impossible chance to ascend, where gods have sealed off their realm and all that’s left is neverending human misery and hell (the only way you’d see a deity is if they’d been sent down to suffer over and over and over), where even reincarnation doesn’t fix things and bad acts are often unpunished. And the novel then asks - is it worth being a good person in such a world? More, is it worth being a good person in such a world when nothing good has ever happened to you and you have been repeatedly betrayed due to your goodness? And the answer, on Bian’s part, is an uncompromising yes.

Ah yes, the other reason to love this novel - the protagonists and their fucked up fucked up relationship. Bian (who was Prince Ziheng in the past life) is so genuinely good. But he is that rare thing - good but not saintly, noble but not cloying. So much of the novel is his getting taken apart over and over and barely able to put himself back together every time but his soul is still as amazing as ever.

And then there is Wushe (who was Prince Zixiao in past life, Ziheng’s not-bio-related brother.) Wushe is not a good person. He is a monster. And he loves Bian/Ziheng more than his life and his soul and the entire world but he’s also the one who hurt him more than anyone else ever could and did it over and over. His love survived a literal century of torture in the worst kind of hell and refused the usual memory loss of new life. But it also humiliated and broke Ziheng down to his constituent parts.

One of the things that is so fascinating to me about this novel is the question of what can be forgiven/what should be forgiven/what kind of expiation is enough/can you ever love someone who you loved so much and then he hurt you so badly and is now repentant? And it never sweeps trauma under the rug or hand waves it away but deals with it head on.

If you want healthy relationships, you should stay far away from this novel but if intense insane ones with a feral barely human one capable of destroying the world leashed by love and guilt to the sane deeply good one is your bag, come right in.

There is also the world building and the fact that yes, the big fall out between Ziheng x Zixiao is based on not knowing all the facts but it’s not “why can’t you talk?! This is dumb!” But is totally in keeping with both events and their characters. It’s reasonable for Ziheng to do what he does and for Zixiao to misunderstand and decide Ziheng is now his biggest enemy (but still one he’s fixated on) and for Ziheng to never be able to clarify.

Anyway, once again this is trigger warning central so please heed those, but if they are no issue, this one is wonderful.

5. OK, this is hard and switches between Sha Po Lang, Heaven Official’s Blessing and The Golden Stage depending on my mood. So what the hell, I am gonna write about all of them.

Sha Po Lang - so smart and so much clever world building. There is enough politicking to satisfy a Qiang Jin Jiu fan, it’s steampunk, and our two protagonists - Gu Yun, the empire’s most powerful general, who’s loyal to the empire despite being badly wronged by it, and Chang Geng, a cursed prince with barbarian blood and horrifying childhood - are wonderful separately and together. This is a huge slow burn but it’s totally worth it! They fall in love with each other’s hearts and brains and ability as much as anything. (Yes, this is the one with the yifu thing. Gu Yun is made Chang Geng’s foster father when he rescues him and brings him back to the capital as a way to keep CG safe in imperial strife. They are 12 and 19 at the time so clearly it’s never a parental relationship.)

Heaven Official’s Blessing (TCGF) - I love it’s sprawling narrative and cast, I love its inventive setting and picaresque story. It’s hilarious and can make me cry. But the novel’s place on this list is due to Xie Lian who is part Kenshin part drama WWX part pure goodness wrapped in heartbreak and trauma wrapped in sunshine.

The Golden Stage - two smart and principled (yes, they both have principles different though they may be) men navigate their arranged marriage, their past friendship and their past break up, become a super couple (one of the healthiest danmei couples I’ve ever read and proves healthy doesn’t have to be boring), save the country and bring down the emperor or two and just generally this is my rainy day book.

I guess I didn’t write as much for the three n5 candidates as I did for 1-4 but my brain is beginning to curdle so...

[kanohivolitakk]

Honestly I have a lot of issues with 3h fandom and the type of climate it has regarding discussions of characters but if there’s one thing I genuinely like is how people have somewhat turned around on Rodrigue.

I remember when 3h was released there was a lot of negativity surrounding Rodrigue. This was most likely because he was Felix’s dad, they had a negative relationship and Felix was one of 3h fandoms darling characters (and for understandable reasons I feel, Felix good). As such people just lumped Rodrigue into the “bad dad” pile, called him a crappy irredeemable character and didn’t really give him much of a thought or wanting to understand him.

And it saddened me because I really liked Rodrigue, at the very least ever since I played the Blue Lions route. He was not only a likeable fellow but also an interesting and compelling character with an interesting mindset that was worth exploring. I love how so much of Rodrigues character and his actions can be understood by looking at how his mindset is largely shaped by Faerghus romanticaziation of death and sacrifice for the sake of chivalry. He has such an interesting mindset that not only makes sense with where he’s from, but also helps to explore on the games themes. And honestly Rodrigue is such an interesting and well-written character that I’d go so far as to say he is by far the best NPC character in the game that wasn’t Rhea, at least as far as being a compelling and intriguing character with some juicy character depth goes (I’d say Judith is on par with Rodrigue as far as being enjoyable and likeable mentor-like character goes, she just isn’t as interesting on the character psychology and narrative/thematic role level). Heck it could even argued that Rodrigue is just as interesting character as the playable cast, perhaps even more interesting and compelling of a character than some of the more “dull” playable characters in Three Houses roster.

So seeing the fandom giving Rodrigues character a second shot and having more of an appreciation towards him makes me very happy. As said Rodrigue is one of the more interesting characters as far as his characterization and what said characterization adds to Three Houses central themes and ideas. So seeing people look at his character and what he adds to the game and appreciating it makes me just so happy.. It’s just me going internally “yes! yes! you’re all right you’re so right”. and grinning so hard from my side of the monitor.

And yeah part of Rodrigues re-evaluation is because he’s a hot guy with sad gay subtext but honestly??? Given how one of the reasons I like Rodrigue is because he is a hot older gentleman with sad gay subtext that would be kinda hypocritical of me if I had an issue with that xD. As long as people can appreciate his more interesting aspects I don’t really mind if their reason of wanting give his character another shot is for more shallow reasons. And for what I have seen people do appreciate more complex and nuanced aspects of his characters, so tehre is nothing to worry hehe.

So yeah I may have issues on 3h fandom but people having a greater appreciation to Rodrigue these days isn’t one of them, and in fact is something I greatly appreciate.

[bookofmirth]

So I initially deleted this because I didn’t want to get into it, but I also think the question is genuine and I wanted to explain my thinking. CW for emotional and physical abuse and sexual assault.

I am tagging @silverlinedeyes​ because this ask concerns them and I don’t appreciate being vagued, whether it’s a blogger or someone answering an ask that mentions me. I try not to vague other people and I’m not perfect but... just getting this all out in the open.

So I can’t speak for everyone who was upset at the initial post comparing Ianthe and Gwyn. Personally, I kind-of grimaced and was mostly confused about what in the world they could possibly have in common and why such a comparison would be necessary. As people, they are fundamentally different. And to me, the comparison is incredibly thin. Eye color and priestesses? How many priestesses have that eye color? And to use that to connect them to a creature we’ve only read about in two sentences in the whole series, a creature we’ve never actually seen on page and know next to nothing about? Basically, the intention or purpose behind the comparison didn’t make sense to me.

Now I’ll be perfectly transparent - I didn’t read the whole post because I could tell that it wasn’t for me. I also didn’t go around vaguing it. It was mentioned in some asks that I got and I tried to limit my commentary on that post and focus on the comparisons I had made, intentionally. Because 1) I can’t speak from the position of a SA survivor, and those are the people that post concerned, and 2) I didn’t fully read it, and 3) I don’t want to vague people! This fandom is divided enough. I know I made a joke after acosf came out how we are all having separate, loud conversations in the same room and refusing to acknowledge the other conversations while somehow responding to one another. And it was kinda funny at first, but now it’s exhausting.

To me, comparing Ianthe, who is universally reviled as a r*pist, and Gwyn, who we know is a SA survivor, is unnecessary. That’s pretty much what it comes down to. Why do we need to do this? What is it telling us about any of the characters? About relationships? I know a lot of people found it anything from distasteful to downright offensive, and while I think that just about anything is fair game when it comes to fictional characters, I also personally think that the intention behind the comparison was confusing. I just personally don’t understand why we would need to talk about those characters in the same breath. What purpose does it serve? Someone who can speak from the position of a SA can please feel free to add on, if comfortable!

The reason that I compare Az and Tamlin is to analyze them as people, as characters, because I see a lot of similarities in who they are on a (currently) fundamental level - their anger, their loneliness, their attempts to restrain their destructive impulses. These are major parts of who they are as people and how they interact with the world. There were red flags present in acotar that I recognized from my personal life and that I can now see in Azriel. Frankly, it concerns me that people see Tamlin as a completely irredeemable villain, while not recognizing that Azriel shares some of the same personality traits. 

Comparing a r*apist and a SA survivor is an unequal comparison. Emotional and physical abuse, on the other hand, tends to be generational. I’m not an expert on a professional or academic level, but I did a quick search on my university’s database, and found this from “Interrupting the Intergenerational Transmission of Violence”, and please note that these lines were the context or background - this article didn’t set out to prove these statements to be true, they are already commonly accepted knowledge and so their research was looking to solve the problem:

Children exposed to domestic violence are at increased risk for a wide range of emotional and behavioural disorders. Conduct disorder, in particular, may ultimately lead to the perpetration of further domestic violence in the next generation. Parental characteristics such as warmth and positive attributions may mitigate the risk for intergenerational transmission of violence.

I think that as a fandom, people really, really tend to mischaracterize Azriel. It bothers me. He’s not soft. I’m sorry, he’s just not. We have multiple examples of him being described, using words like “rage”, “cruel”, “temper”. One of the first posts I ever made in this fandom that got a lot of attention (over four years ago) was trying to correct these mischaracterizations. They keep happening.

There was an icy rage in Azriel I had never been able to thaw. In the centuries I’d known him, he’d said little about his life, those years in his father’s keep, locked in darkness. (ACOMAF)

One moment, Azriel was seated. The next, he’d blasted through Eris’s shield with a flare of blue light and tackled him backward, wood shattering beneath them. “Shit,” Cassian spat, and was instantly there— And met a wall of blue. Azriel had sealed them in, and as his scarred hands wrapped around Eris’s throat, Rhys said, “Enough.” (ACOWAR)

Az didn’t answer. I held his gaze, though. Held that ice-cold stare that still sometimes scared the shit out of me. (ACOFAS)

Az had a vicious competitive streak... quiet and cruel and utterly lethal. (ACOSF)

Azriel stiffened, an outright sign of temper (ACOSF)

These are just a few of the examples, but we can also think about acofas when he gets angry at dinner thinking about how his mother was treated as a servant, when he can’t handle being around people who are happy on Solstice. I could make a whole post but I’m kinda sick of talking about Azriel at this point.

I have experienced an emotionally abusive relationship much like feylin was. I made myself so small, for years, because this person’s anger and anxiety and grief took up so much space in the world. I felt like I had to overcompensate, to not make them feel jealous if I was having a good day, and to not take on my negative feelings if I had a bad day. So I just stopped feeling things. For years. It didn’t go well. I’m still dealing with the aftermath. 

I have also witnessed physical domestic violence, as a child. I don’t think I need to explain further than that.

My fanfiction A Loveless Romantic deals heavily with the feylin abuse, and I only feel comfortable writing it because of my personal experiences. I’ve written posts about Nesta and alcohol and another post that I can’t currently find about why acotar is such a good book because it shows us all of those red flags for abuse before many people knew they were red flags. (If I can find it I’ll reblog.) My point is, when I go into analyses and metas like these, they aren’t just an exercise in “oh hey what if?!” It’s “here is my experience with this topic and so here’s how I read this with that background.”

The comparison between Azriel and Tamlin is deeply personal to me, and I didn’t exactly expect to have to disclose my personal history when making it, but when I see people vaguing about how the comparison “hurts people who have experienced abuse”, hi, OP knows exactly what she’s talking about on a personal level, thanks. So I’m going to keep talking about it, because I know what I’m talking about, and it bothers me that people can’t see it in fiction because I worry that they then won’t be able to see it IRL until it’s too late. I’m going to keep writing my “thinkpieces” because this is a topic I know a lot about, it’s important to me, and it’s something that I think a lot of people can and should learn more about.

[hamliet]

The Girl Who Gets to Have It All: Buffy Summers

So with @linkspooky​‘s encouragement, I have binged Buffy the Vampire Slayer and relived my childhood culture. And, it's a 10/10 for me. Not that it doesn't have flaws, but it's genuinely one of the best stories I've seen, with consistent character arcs, powerful themes, and a beautiful message. It's also like... purportedly about vampires and demons and superpowered chosen ones, but it's actually all about humanity.

Buffy was able to be a teenage girl, allowed to like the things teen girls are scorned for (boys, shopping, etc), to be insecure about the thing teenage girls are insecure about (future careers, dating, school, parents), and to be a superhero with its good and its bad aspects. The story wasn’t afraid to call Buffy on her flaws (sometimes she got in a very ‘I am the righteous chosen one’ mode) and to respect and honor each of her desires (to be a good person, to be loved, and more). The story listened to what she wanted and respected her desires, giving her the challenges needed to overcome her flaws while also never teaching her a lesson about wanting bad boys or romance is silly or any manner of dark warnings stories like to throw at teenage girls. 

It respected teenage girls--nerdy girls like Willow, jocks like Buffy, lonely wallflowers with trauma like Dawn, and popular/snobby ones like Cordelia, girls gone wild like Faith. It never once reduced them to the stereotypes that were lurking right there: each character was fully rounded, human, flawed and yet with respected interests and goals. This is so rare for a story that I’m still in awe. 

The story as a whole follows Buffy from 15 to 21, of her as she grows from teenager to adult. She acts like a teenager and grows to act like a young adult, wrestling with loneliness and duty. The adults, like Giles, Joyce, and Jenny, are not perfect either, but neither are they “bad parents” or “bad mentors” necessarily. Joyce in particular says something terrible to Buffy, but she tries to do better, and it’s rare to see a parent in YA stories shown with such nuance. Basically, it wrote the long-lasting adult characters as human beings, too. 

Speaking of growing up, I appreciated how Buffy’s love interests mirrored this. Angel was someone Buffy loved and admired, wanted to be like, but who was always either extreme good or extreme bad, and combined with Buffy’s own tendencies towards black-white thinking, made for a beautiful relationship to help her grow, but didn’t necessarily form a foundation for a long-term partner. Spike, on the other hand... they both saw each other at their worst and were drawn to each other even then, and were inspired to become better because they couldn’t bear to be a person who treated the other person so wrongly. They pushed each other to become the best them they could be, and believed in each other. Also, Spuffy is an enemies to lovers ship for the ages. 

(Also, most of the other ships were well-done or at least can be understood. Riley was very obviously wrong for Buffy which paralleled Harmony and Spike in being 100% wrong for each other. Cordelia and Xander were a fun ship even if we all knew it would never last, and Willow and Oz were beautiful and cute. But Xander and Anya and Willow and Tara? OTPs. As were Giles and Jenny, the librarian and the computer teacher.) 

That said, it’s not a perfect series. No story is. All of the characters and ships had problematic aspects to them worthy of critique, and the writing is very 90s in a lot of ways. It’s a product of its time, and in many ways it’s good society has progressed beyond some of the tropes/metaphors used in the show. In other way, though, the show was ahead of its time, and in a good way it wasn’t bound by the fear of purity policing with its takes on redemption (many characters would never fly today). 

So, in order of seasons ranked from my very favorite to my “still enjoyed it very much” (no season was actually bad, imo), here’s my review. I’ll also review my top 10 villains in the show, because Buffy does villains very well in terms of the redeemable and irredeemable.  

Season 7:  Yep, the final season was my favorite. 

Overall Opinion: Buffy's finale is literally "f*ck them men, our power is ours" and while it seems cheesy it actually works (also, f*ck in both a literal and figurative sense). The series strongly hit all the themes: love as strength, and redemption. Buffy consistently shows love as her strength--*all* kinds of love. Friendship w Willow/Xander, familial with Joyce/Dawn, romantic with Spike/Angel. These types of love are also never pitted against each other as is so often the case in current-day media. It's beautiful. Also, Spike’s confrontation with Wood was so powerful in terms of exploring forgiveness, redemption, and reconciliation: where they overlap and where they don't, and what it means to move forward. 

Unpopular Opinion: I have seen a lot didn’t like the inclusion of Potential Slayers, and while I agree they could have been better incorporated/characterized, it was a great way to show Buffy’s final stage of growing up to be ending her chosen one status and projecting/multiplying her powers over the world. 

Biggest Critique: Kennedy was female Riley--the anti-Tara to Riley’s anti-Angel (by ‘anti’ I mean opposite in every way). Kennedy was annoying and immature. Her role, like Riley’s, was less about exploring her as a character and more about her just being stamped as “love interest: lesbian.” 

Favorite Episodes: Beneath You, Lies My Parents Told Me, Touched, Chosen

Season 6: 

Overall Opinion: I said this on Twitter, but I felt like this was Buffy’s The Last Jedi or Empire Strikes Back moment. It is polarizing and dark, deconstructing the tropes it stands on--but by digging to the core of these tropes, it actually makes what’s good about them shine brighter. Everyone’s enemy was the worst versions of themselves. Giles left Buffy, Willow's struggle to relate to the world led to her trying to destroy it, Buffy hurt everyone through her anger, Xander abandoned Anya at the altar, Spike... yeah. It ages well as an integral part of the story, and the Trio were eerily prophetic. 

Unpopular Opinion: Dawn is a great character with a good arc. A traumatized teen acting out and struggling to come to terms with loss and identity? She wasn’t whiny; she was realistic. 

Biggest Critique: Willow’s addiction coding (I’ll discuss this below) and Seeing Red as an episode. I see the argument for both of its controversial scenes from a narrative perspective: Willow starts the season not grieving Buffy but instead being determined to fix it with magic and needs to learn to grieve, but. Still. Bury your gays is not a good look. For the Spike scene... he conflates sex/passion and violence (”love is blood, children” is something he said way back in season 3), but like Tara’s death, it had more to do with Spike (as Tara’s death did for Willow) than with Buffy’s arc, and as for the actual execution... they really botched that. Did it like... have to go on that long or go that far? No. Also, the framing was good, but inconsistent with the rest of the series (Xander to Buffy in the hyena episode, Faith to Xander and to Riley, etc.) 

Favorite Episodes: Once More With Feeling, Smashed, Grave

Season 3 (tied with Season 5):

Overall Opinion: The opening continuity of Buffy meeting Lily/Anne after saving her life in Season 2 was sweet. The Witchhunt episode had really powerful subtext: stories of deaths that aren’t even true are actually demons that possess the town and convince them to turn against their children in the name of protecting the children. It’s a good commentary on, oh, everything in society. Faith’s character arc was fantastic, and her chemistry with Buffy was off the charts (look, I may be Spuffy all the way, but Fuffy has rights). The finale was satisfying in so many ways, seeing the entire graduating class unite to destroy the Mayor and the school with it, symbolizing Buffy et al’s readiness to move on to college. Oz's relationship with Willow was very sweet and meaningful for a first romance for Willow. 

Unpopular Opinion: I actually don’t really have one. Maybe that the miracle in Amends was earned? I think you can make a decent case that Season 3 is the best written of the seasons, but can only truly be thematically appreciated to its full potential in the light of subsequent seasons (which finish Faith’s arc and deconstruct Buffy’s).  

Biggest Critique: It forgot Buffy killed the hyena guy in Season 1, making her continual insistence that she can’t kill people very ????? 

Favorite Episodes: Lovers Walk, Amends, Graduation Day Part 2 

Season 5, which ties with Season 3:

Overall Opinion: The entire season is about family and what it means, from Tara’s to Buffy’s to the Scoobies. I loved Glory aka Enoshima Junko as the Big Bad, I loved Dawn’s interesting meta commentary on retconning (like, the fact that she’s retconned in matters), and most of my ships are still alive. Joyce’s relationship with Spike is one of the most heartwarming aspects, and Spike’s arc’s desire is clearly highlighted: he wants to be seen as a person. The episodes after Joyce’s death are the most honest portrayals of grief I’ve ever seen, and absolutely brutal to watch. 

Unpopular Opinion: Buffy’s choice at the end seems a deliberate inversion of her choice at the end of Season 2 (sacrifice a loved one to save the world), but it actually isn’t: much like at the end of Season 2 where Buffy skips town because she’s devastated after killing Angel and doesn’t want to sort out being expelled, her mom knowing she’s the slayer, and her own trauma, Buffy’s sacrifice here was as much about her wanting the easy way out of relationships, family, college, etc. as it was about saving Dawn. Buffy’s death is coded as a suicide, which Season 6 emphasizes as well. 

Biggest Critique: Like Season 3, I don’t have a lot to critique here. I wish the suicidal coding had been a little more obvious in Season 5 itself, but also I’m not sure it could have been more obvious; it’s pretty apparent if you pay attention. Maybe also that Buffy and Riley’s relationship failing should have been more squarely blamed on Riley, you know, being insecure and cheating. 

Favorite Episodes: Family, Fool for Love, Intervention. 

Season 2:

Overall Opinion: Heartbreakingly tragic but exciting and revealing at the same time. It asked the viewer interesting questions about redemption and forgiveness and atonement through Angel being honest about his past, and then decided to show us his past now reenacted, challenging us. And still, we saw them save him in a parallel to saving Willow in Season 6 (but Season 2 was tragic because it wasn’t enough, while Season 6 was not). Jenny’s death was agonizing, and the scene were Angel watches Buffy, Willow, and Joyce get the news through the window was powerful. We didn’t have to hear them to get the grief. 

Unpopular Opinion: Jenny’s death isn’t a fridging; it works for her arc too when you consider her history. She worked to save the person whose life she was tasked to ruin, and it cost her her own--yet she still succeeded, because Jenny brought joy and wisdom to the show. Kendra’s death, on the other hand... was because they needed the stakes to be high--but we already knew that before she died. So, her death was useless. 

Biggest Critique: The subtext was Not It. It was essentially “do not have sex. Your older boyfriend will lose his soul, kill your friends, you’ll lose your family, your school, your home, and have to kill your true love or else hell will literally swallow earth.” 

Favorite Episodes: School Hard, Passion, Becoming Part 2.

Season 1:

Overall Opinion: I really liked it; it’s just lower on this list because the others are just better. It’s a great introduction to the series and to its characters, from Giles to Buffy to Willow to Jenny to Cordelia. It has great subtext a lot of the time (for example, Natalie French as She-Mantis is a literal predatory bug who engages in predatory behavior with students). Additionally, it subverts the typical YA trope of two guys and a girl, in which the girl is usually the least interesting character. Buffy and Willow were both fully fledged characters from the beginning with distinct strengths (even before Willow became a witch, as she wasn’t one in season 1 yet), while Xander was the more ordinary of the group. 

Unpopular Opinion/Biggest Critique: Xander’s arc showed its first flaws that unfortunately continued throughout the series: his writing was either very good or very indulgent in ways it never was for other characters.  (cough, the hyena episode, cough, in which he gets to skirt responsibility--and acknowledges that he is skirting it--for something the show will later hold others to account for). Xander’s just kind of inconsistent, which weakened his character over all. (Which is why both his love interests--Cordelia and then ultimately Anya--were good for him: they did not indulge him.) 

Favorite Episode: Witch, Nightmares. 

Season 4:

Overall Opinion: it’s still a good season. It’s a good portrayal of college and the growing pains of branching out, the strains of college growth on relationships (romantic and platonic). It shows us the first hints of Spuffy, giving us some serious Jungian symbolism between Spike and Buffy early on, and does well in establishing Xander/Anya and Willow/Tara as beautiful OTPs. Faith and Buffy’s foiling is fantastic. The Halloween episode was very fun as well. However, it suffers because its Big Bad, Adam, is not all that compelling thematically--yet, he could have been. See, the final battle pulls off the Power of Friendship in a really strong way but notably the season does not end there. Instead, it ends on dreams of each character’s worst fears, continuing what we saw in Nightmares in Season 1. Why? Because it shows us that the characters’ wars aren’t against monsters, but monsters of their own making: their flaws. Adam, as a literal Frankenstein, exemplifies this, but it wasn’t capitalized on as well as it could have been. 

Unpopular Opinion: Beer Bad isn’t a bad episode, at the very least because Buffy gets to punch Parker. It’s not one of the series’ best, obviously, but it does give Buffy an arc in that she gets her daydream of Parker begging her to come back, but she has overcome that desire and her desire for revenge. If we wanna talk about bad subtext in Season 4, Season 2′s Not It sex subtext continues in the Where the Wild Things Are episode in this season; it’s a powerful callout of abusive purity-culture churches, until the fact that the shame creates a literal curse undermines the progressive message it’s supposed to send. Also, the Thanksgiving episode (Pangs) is a nightmare of white guilt and Oh God Shut Up White People. 

Biggest Critique: Riley is awful. Like Kennedy, he had “love interest:normal” stamped on him and that was it. The thing is, he could have worked as an Angel foil, representative of the normal-life aspect of Buffy to Angel’s vampire/supernatural aspect, but the writers never explore this and seemed to even try to back away from that later on. They threw all the romantic cliches at the wall to see what sticks, from klutzy “I dropped my schoolbooks, that’s how we met” to cliché lines that had me rolling my eyes. Do you know how bad a romance has to be to make me dislike romantic tropes? 

Favorite Episodes: Fear Itself, Hush, Restless

Villain rankings: 

Dark Willow, the only villain to be truly sympathetic. While the addiction coding was insensitive and, while unsurprising for its time, aged extremely poorly. That said, Willow’s turn to the dark side after Tara’s death worked well for her character and the story: it was believable and paid off what had been building since Season 1's “Nightmares” episode (Willow’s inferiority complex). 

Glory managed to be genuinely terrifying, and humorous/enjoyable too. Her minions and their numerous nicknames for Glorificus were hilarious, as was her intense vanity. Her merging with Ben--a human being who genuinely wanted to be kind and good--added complexity and tragedy to her role. 

The First. A really good take on Satan. The seventh season as well as the First’s first appearance in season 3′s “Amends” had kind of blatant Christian symbolism, and so the First being essentially Satan works. Their disguising themselves as dead loved ones and the subtle manipulation they used to alienate people was really disturbing and well done. 

The Mayor, who was a terrible person but a truly good father. He provided an interesting contrast to the normal ‘bad dad’ bad guy character, in that he provided Faith exactly what the other characters refused to: he saw the best in her and offered her parental support, while the heroes didn’t and wound up pushing her away. 

The Trio, who were villains ahead of their time: whiny fanboy reddit dudebros, basically. The stakes seemed so much lower than fighting Glory, a literal god, the previous season. But that’s why they worked so well for Season 6′s human themes, and were especially disturbing because we all know people like them. I also appreciated the surprisingly sensitive takes on Jonathan and Andrew, who got to redeem themselves, but Warren did not, and I don’t think he should have either. 

Angelus + Drusilla. I’m ranking them below the Trio because Angelus was just sooooo different from Angel that it was difficult for me to feel the same way for him. He was still Angel, so it wasn’t possible to enjoy his villainy, but he also wasn’t nearly as sympathetic as Dark Willow, had no redeeming qualities like the Mayor, and wasn’t as disturbingly realistic as the Trio. However, the emotional stakes were excellently executed with him as the Big Bad, in that you were never quite sure how to feel and it just plain hurt. Also, Drusilla was a favorite recurring character. She was sympathetic and yet batsh*t enough to be enjoyable as a villain at the same time. 

The Master, who was just completely camp and really worked as an introductory villain. He was scary enough to believe he was a threat, and was funny enough to introduce the series’ humor as well. He was, like Glory, an enjoyable Big Bad. 

The Gentlemen, the one-off villains of Season 4′s Hush who were genuinely terrifying. It’s not as if they got a lot of explanation or any backstory, but they didn’t need it. 

Caleb, the misogynist priest. Fitting with the First’s Christian symbolism, Caleb serving as a spokesperson of all bad religious beliefs felt appropriate. He was also a good foil to Warren--being actually supernaturally powered instead of a wannabe--and to Tara’s family in being full-out evil. I despised him. 

Snyder. Okay Snyder is not a Big Bad like Adam is, but let’s face it: Adam is lame compared to the other villains. But Snyder as a principal? He was so irritating and yet really well used in the series to critique overly strict, hypocritical teachers. Like, we all know teachers like him. I loved to hate him, and his ending was so satisfying. 

[invnciblesummer]

I really hate that the idea of "Katara was Zuko's surrogate sister" and Katara wasn't Sokka's genuine sister? Zuko has a sister and a lot of the time siblings don't give up on each other. I think Zuko should have been able to be Azula's helper at some point. Take Iroh's advice about helping others to help heal. Zuko deserves his real sister to love him, not a replacement sister. Maybe it's because I have an okay siblings but the idea of replacing your sister with a friend that may not have asked for it is sickening. Azula was 14. A child. She also deserves her brother. He deserves his sister

1/3

2/3

3/3

(I think that these asks all go together as a response to this post, so I’m going to go ahead and answer them all in this one ask.)

Don’t worry about it! Azula is an interesting character to talk about.

I’m not going to excuse any of Azula’s horrible actions in the show, and I don’t think that Zuko owes her anything by the end of the show. But I definitely do believe that Azula is not as irredeemable as the comics and some fans make her out to be, and that she deserved a redemption arc in the post-show material. After all, she was written that way, to not have been completely beyond hope of redemption by the end of the show. And a person who was going to be integral to helping her heal and redeem herself was going to be her very own brother, Zuko.

Though it would be a tricky and sensitive plot line to handle, I think that a good author who has a firm grasp of Zuko and Azula’s characters, Azula’s mental states (from when she was a young child, to when she grew unraveled by the end of the show), and the nature of Zuko and Azula’s relationship can write a well done redemption arc for Azula that involves Zuko in it. This would be a redemption arc that doesn’t make it seem like Zuko inherently owes Azula his efforts to help her, and doesn’t make Zuko carry all of Azula’s burden. Rather, it would be one that integrates Zuko into Azula’s healing process. For me, the first (and best, in my opinion) fic that I have read that did this with Azula’s redemption arc would be "Once Around the Sun" by eleventy7 (but I do believe that there are certainly other fics that handle Azula’s redemption arc very well too).

Azula can have an amazing and beautifully written redemption arc that involves Zuko in it too, if the writer writing it grasps Azula and Zuko’s characters enough. In fact, Azula was supposed to have such a redemption arc. For the writers of the comics to instead choose to screw her character and her relationship to Zuko over, well, let’s just say that I think it speaks for itself how well they must understand Azula’s character and her relationship to her brother.

But, even if someone still insists that Katara was meant to be Zuko’s "good replacement sister," the argument still doesn’t make sense. Because, in the comics, it’s clear that the writers meant for Kiyi to fill in that role. Not Katara. I don’t like the replacement sister idea that went on in the comics whatsoever, but Zutara antis could at least maybe get their arguments straight and realize that the "replacement sister" idea in the post-show material has nothing to do with Katara being that "good replacement sister."

As for what you said about found family, let me just say that I absolutely agree that the comics are a butchering of the gaang’s found family dynamics. Katara agreeing with Zuko’s horrible promise is only the tip of the iceberg for the way the comics screw up characterizations and character relationships. There are many metas already written about that, but I give my thoughts on the matter in this thread.

[emy-loves-you]

The Heat Between Us

This was written for the Sanders Sides Unpopular Ships Challenge, Day 2: Intruality!

Summary: Patton doesn’t like to be touched. But maybe he’d be ok if it was Remus touching him

Pairing: Intruality

Word Count: 2225

Warnings: Severe child neglect, child abuse, drugs, touch starvation, touch repulsion, starvation (Patton has a really bad childhood)

Patton didn’t touch people.

It’s not like he didn’t want to touch people. Well, for a while it wasn’t. When Patton was little, he loved the idea of touch. He would hug his pillows and wrap himself in blankets, pretending that he was getting the bestest hug ever. He would hold his own hand and giggle, imagining that he was shaking someone else’s hand.

He would cry in bed at night, a new bruise on his cheek, wondering why he wasn’t allowed to touch.

Patton wasn’t allowed to do a lot of things. He couldn’t leave his room (“Why do you need to leave? We give you food every day, and you have your own bathroom. You don’t need more, you ungrateful brat!”), he couldn’t ask for more food (“Stop being so greedy! We fed you yesterday! Are you calling me a liar?!”), he couldn’t tell anyone anything. That last rule seemed redundant, since Patton never actually saw anyone, but he followed it anyway.

But the rule that made him sad was the no-touch rule.

Patton didn’t get to actually see people often- only when they remembered to feed him or clean his laundry- but they hated it when Patton touched them. They would scream and yell and hit him until he was begging them to go away. After a while, Patton only associated ‘touch’ with ‘pain.’

When Patton was 10, he was surprised to find someone other than them (he didn’t actually know their names, but he refused to call them his mom and dad) kick open the door. Patton vaguely recognized the thing in their hand as gun-weapon-hurt and whimpered, running to hide in the bathroom. There wasn’t a lock on the bathroom door, but the person seemed to realize that Patton was not happy right now, so they stayed outside and talked to him through the door.

After a while of one-sided talking, Patton was eventually coaxed out of the bathroom. The police officer (Patton had been panicking too much to remember their name) reached out to touch him and he flinched, already wanting to run back to the bathroom. When they asked if he was hurt, Patton shook his head (rule number 3: don’t tell them anything) and asked if they could not touch him.

Patton learned that the people who took care of him were drug dealers, and no one knew that they had a son. They had been arrested a few days ago (his painfully empty stomach agreed with that), and the officer was checking the house for any incriminating evidence when they stumbled upon Patton’s locked door.

They asked Patton a lot of questions, but Patton refused to answer. He might have broken a rule by leaving his room, but he wasn’t going to break the rest of them. And besides, he didn’t trust them with how many times they tried to touch him. They already made him get looked at by a doctor, and he was nearly sobbing in pain by the end of it. Every touch felt like he was on fire, and it hurt almost as much as getting hit.

After that, Patton was sent to some foster homes. Homes, plural, because no one seemed to want Patton for more than a few weeks before sending him back, wanting nothing to do with him. It was probably because Patton wanted nothing to do with them either. He was used to being alone, only seeing people on the cracked TV in his room. So when these people wanted him to talk to them about things he’d never heard, play games that he’d never played before, or even touch him, he didn’t give them smiles and ‘thank yous.’ Instead, he screamed and cried and ran away, finding tiny places to curl up and hide.

Eventually, he was sent to a family that understood that he didn’t want to be touched. Lydia and Samantha Heart were okay with Patton not wanting to be touched. They didn’t force him to spend time with them other than meals (so they knew he was eating enough), but they always offered him a chance to spend time with them, doing whatever he wanted. It was… baffling, to have someone understand, but Patton was happy with it. They started fostering him when he was 13 and fully adopted him when he was almost 15.

Patton eventually became used to his new life. He learned that he loved to draw, since it let him express things that he didn’t know how to write. He liked to draw things that he saw on the cracked TV in his old room, like fairies and princesses. He spent a lot of time hiding away in his room, but now he spends more time out in the living room with his new parents. He liked to call them ‘Madre’ and ‘Momma.’ Madre taught him how to make different desserts and Momma taught him how to knit and crochet. He was struggling to catch up with his ‘school’ work (he didn’t understand why he needed it, he’d never gone to ‘school’ before and most of the work seemed pointless) but they were helping him a lot through homeschooling, with Madre teaching him math and science while Momma taught him history and english.

But even after all of that, Patton didn’t want to be touched. After he started calling them his moms, he tried letting them touch him to make them happy. Casual touches made him flinch, kisses made him hiss, and hugs made him ready to cry. It was painful and he hated it. After a few weeks of trying, his moms let it drop. They weren’t going to force Patton through that. So, Patton never touched anyone. And for a long time, he was fine with that.

But then the Princes moved in next door, and suddenly everything changed.

Mr and Mrs Prince weren’t very interesting, but they were still better than most people Patton had interacted with. Mrs Prince’s smile seemed genuine, and Mr Prince didn’t get upset when Patton didn’t shake his hand. They had two children, a pair of identical twins named Roman and Remus. They were both a year older than Patton, and they went to the local highschool just under a mile away. They were both dramatic and constantly happy, loving to tell stories to anyone who would listen. Some people might say that they were impossible to tell apart, but to Patton they were easy to tell apart (or, more accurately, they were easy to tell apart when they were around Patton).

Patton wasn’t a very big fan of Roman. He was loud, and prideful, and touchy. He liked to yell and draw attention to himself, and Patton hated the second-hand attention he got from hanging out with Roman in public. Roman was also a physically affectionate person, always giving people pats on the back or pulling them into a hug. And while he understood that Patton didn’t like to be touched, physical affection was so natural for Roman that he tended to forget until he was already touching him. That doesn’t mean that Patton disliked Roman, far from it actually. He just preferred it if they weren’t in public together. And have a good amount of distance between them.

Remus was different. He was the quieter twin, for one. He didn’t yell, he didn’t like to draw attention to himself (unless he was messing with Roman), and unlike Roman, Remus understood that the world wasn’t just black and white. Roman’s stories always had a clear hero and villain, where the hero never did wrong and the villain was always irredeemable. But Remus knew that the world didn’t work that way, and the stories he told reflected that. He also understood how much it hurt Patton to be touched, but that he didn’t want people to avoid him like the plague. He always made sure to be as close as physically possible to Patton without touching him, and if he ever needed to touch something near Patton he always told him so they wouldn’t accidentally touch. Other than the one instance where Remus had to push Patton out of the way of a rogue frisbee, they had never touched before. And that was fine. Perfect, even. Until today

Right on the property line between the two houses was a large sycamore tree. Every afternoon, Remus would climb the tall tree and lay amongst its branches as if they were his throne. Patton would always sit at the base of the tree, nestled between its roots. He would look up at the older teen and try to ignore the blush on his cheeks. He was sure by now that he had a crush on Remus, but he would never tell anyone that, especially Remus. After all, who could ever love someone that doesn’t want to be touched?

So every day, Patton would sit under this tree, listening to his crush share his stories. They were dark, and disturbing, usually sad with no concise ending. Most people hated Remus’ stories, so he never told them to anyone outside of Patton. Patton loved his stories. He’d grown up without being taught about empathy or ‘good always triumphs over evil.’ Roman’s stories, like most stories, tended to assume that the audience would naturally emphathize with the characters, which Patton just couldn’t do. Remus knew this, and his stories gave Patton a reason to feel for the characters. They weren’t just random characters that did good because it was the ‘right thing.’ They did it for revenge, or love, or their own selfish goals. And to Patton, it made sense. He understood why he needed to care about these characters, and in a way, it helped him realize why he cared about the teen that came up with them.

One day, Patton was at the bottom of the tree, sketching the afternoon sun while Remus told his story, when the older boy paused. “It looks a lot better from up here.”

Patton frowned, looking up. “What does?”

Remus shrugged. “The sky. The landscape. Everything looks better from up here.” He looked down at Patton and smirked. “Wanna see for yourself?”

Patton blushed and looked away. “But I don’t know how to climb a tree.” He never had a need to climb anything before, and while he could probably climb something like a ladder, there was no way he could climb a tree without help. And ‘help’ meant ‘pull up,’ and that meant ‘touch,’ and Patton did not want to have a panic attack today.

Remus chuckled. “I’ve solved that part. Walk around the tree.” Patton got up and made his way to the back of the tree, where a blue and white rope ladder hung from its branches. “I asked Dad to set it up yesterday while you were at the doctor. Now you can climb the tree with me!”

Patton giggled and hastily climbed the rope ladder, joining Remus up in the tree’s branches. He was right; the sunset was breathtaking from up here. They sat up there for hours just talking about whatever came to mind. Patton loved having these conversations with Remus. He had been trapped alone in that room for so long, with only his thoughts to keep him company. Patton always felt bad after his first foster family told him not to share those thoughts, since they weren’t normal. They were weird, and disturbing, and Patton constantly tried to forget that they ever existed. But with Remus he didn’t have to. With Remus he could say whatever popped up in his mind without fear of being ridiculed. It was nice, and sometimes during these talks Remus would give him a smile that made his entire heart melt.

The sun was setting as they sat next to each other in the tree, laughing and telling fantastical stories. Their shoulders brushed slightly as Remus doubled over with laughter and Patton shuddered at the warmth. Usually the warmth hurt, usually it burned and made him hurt for hours afterwards. But this was different. Now, his heart was warmer than Remus’s touch, and for the first time in years, Patton wanted someone to touch him. Specifically, he wanted Remus to touch him. Remus, the person Patton trusted most in this world.

“Pat?” Patton looked up at Remus, who was still facing the sunset. “I…” He took a deep breath and turned to face Patton. If Patton had been anyone else, he was sure Remus would’ve taken his hand. “I think I love you.”

Patton’s heart both soared and shattered at the same time. “How could you love someone that you can’t touch?”

Remus chuckled. “I would gladly go a thousand years without touching anyone ever again, if it meant I could keep staring at your beautiful face for a few minutes.”

Patton blushed and looked away. Before he could second-guess himself, Patton laid his hand on top of Remus’. It burned, and Patton’s immediate instinct was to pull away, but he didn’t move, relishing in the warmth he felt. “I think I’d like to try. To touch.”

Remus smiled brightly, like Patton had just told him that he’d won a million dollars. “We’ll take it at your pace, okay? Whatever makes you comfortable.”

Patton nodded, looking off at the sunset. “Remus?”

“Yes?”

“I love you too.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Taglist: @bisexualdisaster106 @self-taught-mess @arodynamic-enby @sanderssides-angst @whatishappeningrightnow @idont-freaking-know @cute-and-angsty-princess @artsy-enby09 @girl-who-reads @drarrymalecsolangelo @count-woe-laf