#anya deserved so much better man.

[vortiramel]

[chainsawctopus]

You, me, and our loss of autonomy.

[skullswamps]

Finally watched a playthrough of mouthwashing

Actually have so many thoughts, but Curly's scene enacted a physical reaction within me that I don't think I've had watching a playthrough in years.

[insomniac-dormouse]

Silly goofy game about mouthwash!

[orchidnoodles]

"In the back of my mind, it's always there..."

i've been itching to draw anya for a really long time, she has such a beautifully written character arc and i can't help but feel so sad for her whenever i think about it.

also i'm trying out a new style for rendering hair, do you like it? 😄

i'm gonna be posting an alternate version as well as a mid-drawing doodle i made of the whole gang on my ig acc under the same name. feel free to check it out 😎

[ritchie-richtea]

i want to talk about the mouthwashing fandom because... jesus christ. warning for talk of assault and dehumanisation.

-

yeah, curly was a bystander to anya's assault and certainly made a mistake by not acting sooner, but are you normal about him post-crash and disabled? are you treating him as a person, or just a funny meat man, or a fucking dog? youtubers use post-crash curly in their thumbnails as the horror, instead of the actual villian of the game... i wonder why.

yeah, you hate jimmy and your glad he's dead, and you make funny versions of his name, but are you normal about anya's assault and pregnancy? are you normal about whether people depict her in AUs as getting an abortion, or miscarriage, or giving birth? yeah, you want to fuck up all rapists of the world, but do you want to be there for the victims and uplift them and spread awareness?

additionally, do you know to block the people who don't share your views and upset you about these themes? when somebody talks about jimmy as a character openly and recognises that hes a very well-written character, or like him as such, are you sending them death threats and actively upsetting yourself over it?

also, "im so sorry you had to draw/write/show jimbo!!!11!!1!" my guy its their... post? the comments were funny for a little bit, but its EVERY OTHER comment under amazing mouthwashing artwork.

and the hate jimmy cosplayers recieve. holy fuck. people cosplay villians all the time, it doesnt make somebody immoral/disgusting to cosplay him and act out scenes as him. i feel it's hypocritical to thirst over a depiction of your favourite childhood disney villian, yet comment "🤢🤢" under one of jimmy.

listen, of course jimmy is an asshole, of course curly [and swansea, really] should have acted sooner, of course anya and daisuke deserved so much better. but can we please, PLEASE have more mature conversations about this story, these intricate characters?

that's my opinion. i love this game a lot.

[mind-intheclouds342]

Do it for them - Co-captain reader x Curly

Previous - Part 9 - Next

You banged on the door of the room where that man was locked up, waking him up abruptly.

"Let's talk"

Jimmy: "I thought visiting hours were over."

He complained, turning around to turn his back to the door.

"Don't try to be funny with me, Jimmy. What the hell did we do to deserve so much hate from you?"

Jimmy: "Don't play innocent, you know very well what you did!"

"Honestly, I have no idea! That's why I'm asking you!"

Jimmy: "Of course, because I was always the shadow of your dear husband. You never turned to look at me again after you got with him, you never smiled at me like you did with him, you didn't even speak to me. It was as if I were invisible to you!"

"Oh, of course I was looking at you!"

Jimmy: "Then why didn't you ever tell me anything?!"

He shouted that, getting up from his bed to head towards the glass that separated them, watching your face to see you when you replied.

"BECAUSE I'VE ALWAYS HATED YOU!"

You screamed with all your lungs, to the point of making your throat hurt.

"You always brought trouble to Curly! He was always so naive, a sucker for approval, of being the good guy in the story, of not letting anyone down! That's why he never abandoned you! I knew better that's why i stopped talking with you! Because you were and are a piece of shit!" 

Jimmy: "Oh, but you talk as if I were the only fucked up one in the story."

"Yes! I admit it! I was also a mess when I met Curly, but I did something, I was able to see beyond that mess I was, he showed me that I could improve, he gave me opportunities that I knew how to take advantage of and become a better person! In someone who could make his mother proud instead of making her cry because she didn't know if he was coming home or not!"

There was a silence when you finished saying that, until you saw him smirk, that reaction you didn't like at all.

Jimmy: "You're right, Curly loves to please, you should know that very well."

"Ugh, for the love of God, I don't know why I try to reason with you, it's impossible."

Jimmy: "But you were the only one who refused to give in to make me happy."

You opened your eyes wide upon hearing that, turning again to the man who still wore that smug smile.

Jimmy: "Just as beautiful and messed up as I am, I thought you would understand me, but then you became a good girl, yet I still hoped you would look at me..."

"Shut up-"

Jimmy: "Oh, and the damn way Curly talked about you, how incredible you are, so kind, hardworking, so beautiful."

"I tell you to shut up-"

Jimmy: "Those lovely moles in the center of your chest that look like a constellation"

"He wouldn't talk about those things with you!"

Jimmy: "I saw it myself"

You felt like you were going to puke at that moment, you didn't want to believe that he had really done something like that to you while you were unconscious, you didn't want your suspicions to be confirmed, you refused to believe it.

"Liar. Anya wouldn't leave me alone, she would lock the nursery door-" 

Jimmy: "Yes, yes, she did that, it was a pain in the ass. Every night when she went to sleep, she locked the nursery with that code that only Curly and she knew... But that place wasn't closed while someone was inside."

"She wouldn't let you get close to me!"

Jimmy: "They were so sweet, Anya staying by your side saying she had to make sure all your signs were okay, and when she left, she would ask Swansea if he could keep an eye on you. But he was so depressed that he didn't dare to stay with you for long, so... I took his place to make sure you were okay."

"In front of Curly..."

You murmured at having to imagine the scene your husband had to witness without being able to do anything about it other than watch.

Jimmy: "That was the funniest thing"

You hugged tightly, feeling a horrible tingling all over your body, as if you were dirty.

Jimmy: "Swansea had no idea about anything, Anya didn't want to talk about it with anyone else. Thanks to her silence, I was able to finally look at that body that you always hide from me, thanks to Swansea's stupidity and feeling sad for his little captain, feeling all guilty and shit."

Swansea: "What did he just say..." 

You turned to see Swansea at the end of the hallway, carrying Jimmy's rations, holding an axe firmly in the other hand; he had managed to hear everything.

"Swansea-"

Swansea: "Open the door, captain"

"Listen - it's not worth it, do you have any idea what they'll do to you if they find out you hurt someone from the crew? Please, I don't want them to lock you up." 

You said immediately, positioning yourself in front of him, trying to get him to see you, but his eyes were glued to the door where he could see Jimmy's face.

Swansea: "How are they going to know? Let's say it was an accident. Open the door!"

You wanted to keep reasoning with him, but you couldn't deny that you also wished he would face consequences for his actions.

You took the axe from his hands, making him look at you annoyed.

"I won't take the risk of you killing him."

Those were your last words before opening the door, Swansea didn't take much more than a few seconds to fully open the door, step inside, and throw himself at Jimmy.

You could hear the sound of the blows, the insults, and the screams.

You stood at the door wide open, axe in hand, watching as the blood spread across the floor with each blow Swansea dealt.

You watched Jimmy and tilted your head, waiting for him to defend himself.

You wouldn't hesitate to cut off his hands if he touched Swansea.

[th3cadav3r]

Hello! I think a nice sfw fluff scenario for the Tulpar crew would be headcanons of how each character would react when the reader hesitantly tells them they don’t like sex or are asexual. Reader can be gn. Thank you, I really like your headcanon writings!

SFW Mouthwashing Headcanons—Asexual Reader

content: fluff, kissing, cuddling, mentions of sex, very very very slight acephobia from Jimmy(but with a happy ending)

author’s note: Keep in mind that I am not asexual therefore I cannot understand or fully grasp the asexual experience. I just tried my best based on what I’ve seen and heard online. Hope you enjoy!

Daisuke

You and him had been dating for about three weeks

You always held hands and made out a lot, but nothing more than that

His libido is pretty high because of his age, so naturally he wanted more

You were making out on the couch when suddenly you felt his hands start to wander

It was fine at first until his hand started reaching a little too low for comfort

“Wait—”you blurt out

He stops immediately, retracting his hand

“Sorry, did I do something wrong?” His voice is full of genuine concern

“No, it’s not your fault. I just uh…don’t want that”

He was a little confused. “We can move to my bed if you want” He suggests, thinking that you just wanted more privacy than the living room provided

“No, I…I mean I don’t want to have sex. It’s not you, it’s me. I just don’t like it”

He didn’t expect that but he understood. He smiled reassuringly

“That’s alright. I get it”

You breathed a sigh of relief and your body relaxed. You felt like you truly didn’t deserve such a sweet boyfriend

“Here—we can just cuddle instead” He offers with his arms open. You gladly accept

You spent the rest of the afternoon napping together and playing video games when you woke up

This was definitely different for him compared to his previous relationships, but he didn’t care. He loves you for you

Anya

You started dating towards the end of the trip

She’s more of a words of affection girl than a physical touch girl, which is perfect for you

At one point when things started to get a bit steamy, you finally told her

“Before this gets too far…you should know something about me”

You tell her how you feel no desire for sex but that you still love her the same. Of course she’s understanding once you explain it to her

“I appreciate that you told me”

You both have a long discussion about what is and isn’t okay in regards to your and her comfort. And you both come out of the conversation with a much better and deeper understanding of each other

Now whenever you and her get touchy, she knows exactly what to do to make you feel good without crossing the line

Curly

There was no doubt about it: You were the captain’s favourite

You spent a lot of time alone with him in the cockpit just chatting about the most random things

He definitely grew a liking to you and you to him. One day he asked you what exactly he was to you

You confessed your feelings to him and he does the same. While the moment feels amazing, you can’t help but feel worried about his reaction to your sexuality

“Hey, I should let you know–” You decide to just tell him now. “–I don’t really want this to be a sexual thing, okay?”

He’s a bit taken aback, you can clearly see that in his face. But he is by no means offended or upset

“No worries, then,” he reassures. “Thanks for telling me”

For the next few days, he was very overly cautious. He asked if you were comfortable before he gave you any kind of physical affection. It was a bit exhausting at first, but you appreciated that he cared so much

Swansea

Let’s be real: This man is old

His sex drive is almost all long gone

And he let you know this when you told him about your lack of sexual desire

“Yeah, so what?” he says gruffly and bluntly. “I’m fifty-fuckin’-six years old, sweetheart. Just thinking about sex makes my back hurt”

You were totally expecting that response. It still made you smile from ear to ear though

He wasn’t really a lovey-dovey type of guy when the others were around, but when you two were alone in his bedroom he was a lot more affectionate. Cuddles, kisses, caresses…everything he did was so gentle and comfortable

Jimmy

You’re definitely a lot closer to him than anyone else on board, even Curly

Neither of you really knew where you stood in terms of a relationship, but your “hangouts” included a lot of making out and touching

This was fine initially, but at a certain point it became too much for you

“Hold on—”You grab his wandering hand and move it off of your body

“What?” He was genuinely surprised that you stopped him

“This is going a bit too far for me”Your body tenses up, anticipating a very awkward and uncomfortable conversation

“What do you mean?” He sounded a little hurt and a bit annoyed

“I don’t…have a drive like that. I don’t want to do sexual stuff”You laid it all out for him

He was quiet for a bit. You couldn’t exactly read his face so you were starting to get a little nervous

“It’s not because of me, right?”

“No, of course not,” you reassure. “That’s just how I am”

He sighs. Whether it was out of relief or frustration you couldn’t tell

“Alright”

The atmosphere between you and him was a little awkward for the next few days. You couldn’t help but worry

“Sorry if I was being distant,” he finally told you one afternoon. “Just thinking things through”

“That’s alright” You were lying; you were a little upset that he basically ghosted you after you were so vulnerable with him, but you were willing to just let it go, at least for now

“I know you have your…thing. But I still like you”

Well that was a surprise. But a good one. Definitely a good one. You told him that you liked him back

He was a bit disappointed that he couldn’t do everything he hoped to do with you, but he still liked you a lot. Besides, he could always just “take care” of himself in private

[glitterponyshark]

thinking about mouth washing SPOILERS UNDER CUT

after watching manlybadasshero play mouthwashing, i’ve come to say that jimmy can suck a fat dick and curly and anya are end game (even though he didn’t protect her from jimmy, he still was trying to help in some sort of way)

Daisuke and anya are sweet souls that didn’t deserve to die to some narcissistic asshole who thought he could “fix” everything, when in reality, he’s root that caused all the problems to happen in the first place.

and don’t even get me started on the perspectives differences between curly and jimmy, the way he sees the crew as “nurse” who is too poor to go back to school (anya), old man that gonna croak before he knows it (Swansea), and young “spoiled brat” who can just live off of mommy’s and daddy’s money (daisuke).

he views everyone as a problem while he’s the one that’s supposed to be able to fix all of them. he literally doesn’t even see them and people with emotions, just problems he HAS to fix

his delusions especially pissed me off, at the end of the game it shows the rest of the crew sitting around the table, smiling at him, calling him a friend and celebrating. but when you get to another perspective, birds eye, you see that all of them are dead and slumped over showcasing that even in his delusions, he still sees himself as the “hero”

but curly on the other hand, god do i love curly, you can just SEE the difference in his perspective. the way he talks to anya and the rest of the crew is just beautiful, he see anya as an actual person with feelings, someone who you can have deep conversations with and never wanna stop. then swansea and daisuke, he knows swansea can be harsh and cold sometimes, but he saw how daisuke was somewhat breaking that down.

GOD HIS PERSPECTIVE IS JUST MY FAVORITE SO MUCH JUST a CAUSE YOU CAN SEE HOW MUCH HE TREATS THE CREW BETTER THAN JIMMY

and then here comes jimmy, mr “everything has to happen my way” causing the ship to crash, pretty much almost killing curly, and blaming curly about the crash to try and get the crew to turn on him cause he envy’s how curly is so well liked. and then indirectly causing everyone’s deaths (including also raping anya, that part made my gut drop to my ass dude)

all in all, i fucking hate jimmy, kill your self next time

[stoopidpigeonxx]

Hiii can you do maybe mouthwashing x fem reader where the reader takes care of the crew when they are sick?

Mhmm! Get some fluff to balance out the smut lol

Curly pretends he doesn't want you to do it ('im fine, it's just a cold! You don't have to fuss over me, love.') but in reality, he loves being taken care of. It reminds him of his childhood when his mom used to take care of him, and it's nice to be pampered here and there. Plus, he loves that you're always with him throughout the day. He feels a bit better just with you near.

Jimmy doesn't like it. He's supposed to be taking care of you, not the other damn way around. He doesn't want to be treated like a baby, he's a grown man! He'll be stubborn for the first portion of it. "I don't need anything, babe. Quit fussing, I'm fine." But when he realizes he's only getting worse, he just.. gives up. You can do whatever you want, he's too tired to care. And hey, maybe it's a little cute how much you care about his health.

Daisuke complains and complains. "I feel like shiii-it..." And god forbid you leave the room for a minute. "Nooo, baby, come back, I want you heeeere." He's like a baby, and you're his pacifier. He's very whiny, but appreciates your care quite a bit. He'll repay you once he has the energy!

Anya apologizes and thanks you over and over. She genuinely feels like she doesn't deserve such good caretaking and she's extremely grateful that she has you at her side. She wants to kiss you, but she doesn't want to get you sick. (or maybe she does, so she can have an excuse to take care of you, hehe.)

Swansea is a stubborn motherfucker. Will fight for a while, kinda like Jimmy, until he gives up because he feels so poorly. A cold? no reason to quit working. He won't stop even if he's dizzy, because time doesn't stop for him to sit and moan about it. (You have to force him into bed.)

[cameoliob]

i'm the kallus jovan anon again, never apologize for writing what is basically an entire angsty fic, it was an amazing raed. can i ask you more stuff about these two? like how did it go from kallus pov? tell me more about his youth in the underbelly of corruscant? why doesn't he have a family :( and what does he think about jovans parents and all of their lifestyles?

HI I'M ANSWERING YOUR ASKS OUT OF ORDER BUT WE BALL (also i love you thank you so much for letting me yap)

Okay, so Kallus' upbringing is so interesting to me and I have ALOT of thoughts about it

I have a another post thats kind of about this (but it's specifically about his sister, Anya (that I made up) so you can find that here, BUT i want to get into the nitty gritty of his upbringing anyways so HERE WE GO

Kallus' father passed away in a work related accident shortly before he was born, and his mother, unable to bear the stress of a dead husband, a newborn, and Coruscanti housing prices, prompty fucks off. Kallus' older sister, Anya, who is 16 at the time, takes it upon herself to raise her baby brother.

They had lived in the mid-levels for a number of years (all of which Kallus was too young to remember), thanks to Anya taking up a ton of different jobs, but the Coruscanti housing prices rise like NOBODYS buissness and eventually they end up in the lower levels.

Although they were dirt poor (except there was no dirt because it's Coruscant) they were as happy as they could have been. Kallus was, by nature, an energetic, gritty little kid with undeniable ambition and drive, and Anya-- who at this point is more mom than sister-- worked hard so that she could give him to opprotunities he deserved.

Anya was a strong believer in getting a good education and she managed to get Kallus into the mid-level middle/high school that she had gone to (and graduated early from!) in her teen years.

Coruscanti housing prices are still rising.

Kallus gets his first job when he's 12 (they dont gaf about child labor laws) as a dishwasher at one of the diners his sister works at because the owner had a real soft spot for "the sweet girl and her skinny kid." (Eventually he gets promoted to server but that's really besides the point) ANYWAYS

So basically, teenage Kallus, who is fighting tooth and nail to get THE HEELLLLL out of the lower levels via education, has a daily schedule that looks like:

4:15 AM - Wake up

4:30 - leave the house

4:45-6:45 - take the lift up to school (do homework on the way)

7:15 - 3:00 - School

3:30 - 5:30 - take the lift down (do homework on the way)

6:00 - 11:30 - work

12:15- go to bed

Dont get it twisted though, bro had HOBBIES (which included, but were not limited to, fixing broken droids, bad graphiti, pickpocketing, going clubbing, and just kind of running around with whimsy) (All of which he would do on his singular day off per week)

So basically this man has NEVER known rest in his entire life

It's after Kallus turns 18 and graduates that his sister passes away at 33. The lower levels are polluted, the air so smogged up and toxic that nearly everyone deeper than level 2000 gets sick at some point. Anya had lived the average length of a lower-level citizen, but that didn't console Kallus whatsoever.

Landlords are assholes, and the 2 year lease on his shoebox apartments name was under ANYAs name, not his, so landlord decides that he should kick this greiving 18 year old kid to the curb so that he can bump up rent for the next person.

Kallus, as any person would, spirals. He's couch hopping, he may or may not be partaking in mind-altering substances that may or may not be considered illegal, he is losing his goddamned mind. This is his rock bottom. And he realizes that he'd better get his shit together or else he'll be stuck in the lower levels swimming in alchohol and greif for the rest of his life (which would not be long).

And then news finally gets down to the lower levels (a month after the fact) that the Republic is gone, and that the Empire has taken its place. And the Empire doesn't want a clone army anymore, no, they want people to enlist. And do you know what enlisting means???

Free room and board

So Kallus hops THE FUUUCCKKK on this opprotunity, because who wouldnt????

And when he goes to enlist, he finds out that since he went to a school in the mid-levels he's elligable to test-in to the academy. Which he does, and succeeds at.

So now he's at the academy after the most insane and miserable month of his life, and there are all these rich ASSHOLES, who have just been living up here??? In the sun??? With money??? This whole time???

So he, of course, hates them all

But then Jovan shows up.

The only real kindness Kallus had ever known had been from Anya, his sister (mom?) who devoted her entire life to ensuring that he had a better one. Other than her, everyone Kallus had ever met was after something, weather that be money, a favor, ect. So when Jovan shows up, all smiles and niceness and whatever, Kallus doesn't trust him. Eventually, though, he realizes that Jovan is kind just for the hell of it. He's kind because he can be.

So he accepts Jovans friendship.

And Jovan teaches him how to fit in. How to dress, how to talk, how to act, ect ect. It's all a bit overwelming, of course, but Kallus is glad, because at least people arent looking at him all weird in the hallways anymore.

At the end of the year he finally properly meets Jovans parents after Jovan offers to bring him on their family vacation. And goddamnit, so wonder their son is so sweet, they are too.

Jovans mom takes him shopping for new clothes to wear on vacation, she buys him lunch, and when they come back she shows him all the embarassing baby-photos of Jovan that she had stashed away.

And when they go on vacation (on Naboo, ive decided) Jovans dad tries to teach Kallus how to fish, even though Jovans dad is not good at fishing, and really just wanted to wear a fun hat and sit by the lake for a few hours. (Kallus discovers that catching fish with his bare-hands actually has a higher success rate than when he tried with the pole)

Yeah, theyre rich upper-level-ers with soft hands, and they have no idea how bad things can get down in the lower-levels (and probably never will), but they're just so goddamned sweet. They're not like the kids in his classes at the academy who made fun of his unkempt hair, or his perpetual sunburn, or the way his accent was a bit off, theyre kind.

And Jovan is kind.

It's kind of a no-brainer that Kallus fell for the guy

[wandering-pirate]

Permanent Eclipse

Summary: We saw it all happen from Jimmy's eyes, but what was going through the dying intern's mind during his final moments?

Words: 1.5k

Tags: Angst, heavy angsty angst

TW: Character deaths and gore (mouthwashing being mouthwashing)

a/n: i was inspired (tortured) by this tiktok: https://vt.tiktok.com/ZS62aWV9h/

He screwed up. Again.

One chance to redeem himself from all the headaches he caused the whole crew - all down the drain. One chance to save Anya, the person who treated him like a sibling - gone. One chance to make the man he looked up to proud... how he wished to see Swansea smile at something he did, with genuine pride. He'll never be able to see that.

Daisuke's irregular breathing was filling the whole room up, loud and uneven, like the chaos in his head. Regret. Self-loathing. Guilt. And gosh, Anya. He never saw something so empty in his life. Her eyes that used to look at him with warmth and care, were now cold voids.

The gut-clenching pain of the scene twisted harder than his raw and oozing wounds. It didn't matter though, because the only person that could heal him was now sitting lifeless before him. And it was all his fault.

The loud banging of the medbay door snapped him out of his daze. The reason why he climbed the vent came back to him and he limped towards it. The second the lock clicked under his trembling hands, his legs crumpled.

“Hey bud, I got you! What happe--”

“Anya... Anya, she-- she’s--”

One look. Daisuke's brows furrowed, stunned by how the co-pilot didn’t even spare a glance at the nurse's body. His focus solely on finding a spot to lean the wounded intern against.

“I know, I know. Let’s get you cleaned up first, alright?”

Jimmy's arms steadied him, but all the young man could look at was the face of their substitute captain. His pressed lips, the prominent line between his brows, his clenched jaw. Daisuke winced at the pure disappointment silently radiating from him.

He shivered at the cool metal wall Jimmy placed him on. Having a clear view of Anya... and goodness, he forgot about their bandaged captain. What hit him hard was seeing Curly's wide eye transfixed at her, tears were flowing in one continuous stream.

"This might sting, Daisuke, but it'll disinfect your wounds, alright? Just hang in there, bud"

When the mouthwash hit his open flesh, he barely flinched. The sting being a distant feeling perceived by his hazy mind. Receiving the harsh treatment from the co-pilot's hands, Daisuke could not even react. Jimmy worked quickly, but the boy's gaze was glued to Anya. Just lying there. A corpse. Maybe… maybe she wasn’t gone.

Yeah! That's it. Anya was just showing how Swansea and he have acted the past few days with their mouthwash alcoholism. She was just proving a point, right? Just making him have a taste of his own medicine. She'll get up. She'll stop the charade after knowing that Daisuke's hurt... She wasn’t really…

"She's dead, Daisuke. Let's focus on patching you up"

Jimmy cut through him like death's scythe. Cold and unforgiving. His mind wondered why the co-pilot was nonchalant with the whole thing. Maybe he blamed him. There's nothing Jimmy could do because Daisuke failed to save her.

He never even realized how his vision blurred from the tears. Hearing the words he kept denying himself shattered him. Dead. Of course she's dead. And it's all his fault.

His wounds made even the lightest of breaths a battle, the nauseating smell of metal mixed with sweet mint. The guilt clawed at his guts, unforgiving, unrelenting. It was all too much. His body was shutting down.

The last thing he remembered was Jimmy swearing and shouting his name. Yeah, he deserved that, every nasty word thrown at him, he'd take it.

When he woke, he didn’t feel any better. If anything, it was worse. Heat and excruciating pain throbbed under his wounds, radiating out like fire while the rest of him shivered uncontrollably. Every nerve in his body screamed, yet all he could think about was the heavy presence sitting beside him.

Swansea.

Daisuke froze. He wasn't ready to face the man he looked up to. Couldn’t meet the mechanic’s eyes. Daisuke wasn't a shy one nor was he an introvert, but at that moment, all he wanted to do was to dig himself a grave. To hide. To be forgotten. To just.. disappear.

Jimmy’s disappointment was already too much; Swansea’s would destroy him. Daisuke's eyes were closed but his ears were definitely not, and his lips trembled after hearing the older man sigh, deep and gravelly.

"What were you thinking?"

Soft. Too soft. Was it pity? Is it rage masked with calmness? Daisuke panicked. Swansea never used this tone. He yelled, barked orders, always had sarcastic quips. But, not this. This calmness was worse. This calmness meant his mentor had abandoned all hope on him.

"I-I'm sorry..." Daisuke meant it to be a steady apology, but it left his lips in a shaky whisper. He hated how pathetic he was being.

"Look, it ain't yer fault," Swansea rubbed his face. "If anyone is to blame, it's that ass actin' captain this whole damn time."

All those words fell into the fire, burnt into ashes. Daisuke wanted to believe him, but no. Every terrible decision, every wrong turn, it all led back to himself. Anya’s death. His wound. The infection eating away at him.

Every second was agony, it felt like running a marathon just by wiping his tears. Every movement, blades raking through his skin down to the bone.

The world dissolved into a haze, Swansea’s figure reduced to a shapeless blur. Each breath he took felt like dragging shattered glass through his already tired lungs. His thoughts twisted into knots he couldn’t untangle—tight, choking, blaming

It’s all my fault

Home. I just wanna go home. I can’t do this anymore

I should’ve been braver—no, smarter—why wasn’t I smarter? Why did I screw up again?

Anya, I’m sorry. Gosh, I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve this

I should’ve been stronger, faster. Maybe then… maybe then I could’ve saved you

Swansea… I let you down

Mom, I—Mom, I’m sorry. For everything. For being me. For not being the son you wanted

If only… if only I’d been better. Maybe then none of this would’ve happened

Jimmy and Swansea were arguing but it all blurred into a single incoherent mumble. Every word drifted into a distant echo with the boy's eyelids growing more and more heavy.

For the second time, Daisuke lost consciousness, his body succumbing to the pain. Even in his dreams, his guilt followed him. Denying him rest, plaguing him with nightmares.

His vision blurred after returning to consciousness. His sight flickering in and out of focus. After having some clarity, his eyes met the dull gray metal ceiling, a yellow blob sticking out on his peripheral. He's now reminded of the mechanic's presence. How much time has passed? Did the mechanic stay beside him after all his failures?

The infection, it had to be worse now. It wasn’t just the wound that was tearing at him—it was everything else, unrelenting tidal waves of nausea, the aching, feverish delirium that had him questioning whether he was awake or dreaming.

Daisuke tried to speak, but even a grunt felt like blades were cutting his throat. All he could do was lay there, pathetically, his body too weak to move. Too worn out to ask the mechanic for his forgiveness. It wasn’t just the wound anymore—it was his entire self getting split open from the inside.

He didn’t notice the way his body twitched and jerked. But Swansea saw it all—the tremors in his limbs, the shallow, uneven breaths, the thin sheen of fever-slick sweat on his skin. To anyone with two functional eyes, it was clear: Daisuke’s body was falling apart. Piece by agonizing piece.

"It's alright, Daisuke. Calm down."

The deep voice cuts through the fog. Again with his soft tone, but something was different this time. There was this quiet desperation in the way the gruff man spoke... Was that sorrow?

He opened his eyes, looking up to the mechanic. His senior was furrowing his eyebrows like he usually does, but his eyes. They were mourning.

"You coulda taught an old fool like me a lot"

Daisuke strained hard to understand all the words. He tamed his writhing body, steadied his breathing and kept his half-lidded eyes on Swansea. With every ounce of strength left, he fought to show the man that he was listening.

"Just a damn good kid tryin his best"

It dawned on him - sharp and cold. The man was saying his goodbyes.

"Close your eyes, Daisuke..."

The axehead was above Swansea's head now, and for a moment, Daisuke's thoughts scattered. Was Swansea really going to kill him? He knew he deserved it, but it somehow ached his whole being. It wasn't like the sharp pain from his wounds or the burning fever. It was a numb, suffocating, and heavy kind of ache that sucked him of all his strength.

But even now, with everything crumbling, the intern followed the mechanic's instructions. His lashes fluttered shut, pressing his unshed tears down his fevered cheeks.

Maybe, just maybe, if he got it right this time, he'd finally hear it:

"You did good, kid"

[dykedvonte]

RE: Your post on the AU of Jimmy being in the cockpit rather than Curly.

I think that Curly would think that Jimmy was reaping what he had sown, but in a way would feel a twisted sense of relief that Jimmy was brought down by his own actions rather than Curly himself having to be the "executioner" in the situation, so to speak.

With "taking responsibility" and the fix-it mentality that he and Jimmy share being the overarching theme, compounded with Jimmy flat out insinuating that all of his crimes on the Tulpar will be "Curly's tragedy" in that one scene, I think Curly would almost find comfort in the irony that the choice was forcibly taken away from him. Which in itself is messed up, but it might be a bit cathartic. There's an interesting polarizing dynamic within Curly's relationship to his own responsibility in that it's his greatest burden and the thing he, too, avoids the most.

I don't think Curly would find any relief in this actually. While Curly didn't/doesn't like the responsibility he had, he defiantly doesn't avoid it, he just goes about it in a weird way.

A thing I noticed is that its less about taking responsibility with Curly and really what that responsibility meant objectively and then subjectively to Curly. The leniency that he applies to Jimmy also applies a bit to the others as well. He thinks his responsibility is more towards keeping the peace and things in order more than dolling out punishment. He has even more choices to make and responsibilities as he literally has to make sure they survive/ration long enough to be saved. Or figure out how to save them himself. The correct issue with Curly and responsibility is the prioritization in his head. He sees the big picture and prioritizes that. He doesn't notice the little things that he should but it's not a active dismissal, perhaps not even conscious despite how dismissive he seemed. He takes too much responsibility, espcially in regards to Jimmy, and I think this situation is when he realizes that is also a bad thing as he can't "fix" all of his wrongs.

I think he'd regret not making a choice, because in the end this happened because he wouldn't directly choose who to comfort and help. He tried to help both and ended up doing nothing for either and letting Jimmy fuck them all over. In this scenario/au he's thinking about all the times he let Jimmy inadvertently make his choice, and how he chose to let it happen. He regrets all of it and would be so bitter that he was giving his choice up for so long. He chose wrong and it affected everyone. The only thing he'd find cathartic is the fucked up truth it will never happen again, not with Jimmy at least.

But he's not happy he's getting joy from that. I think it's a point not a single character other than Jimmy is depicted at deriving joy from another's pain. Even Swansea is being more sarcastic when he cheers on Curly about crashing the ship and ending his sobriety. He's happy Jimmy was forced to take responsibility, but this? He wanted him to learn a lesson and do something with himself, this is hollow in a way it's just embittering. Jimmy didn't get what he wanted, he can be happy about that but no one else did. This isn't justice or closure for Anya, he's stuck in a place he was so desperate to leave with even more pressure on his shoulders. Daisuke is just a kid and Swansea doesn't deserve this after all his year making himself a better man.

Like in his sections, Curly is preoccupied thinking about all the responsibilities he has, taking on things he shouldn't have to and trying to keep the peace when he doesn't have peace in his own mind.

[average-hyperfixator]

This is probably the weirdest way to show that I'm in the Mouthwashing fandom, and like nobody is going to see this BUT

If I see ONE MORE person compare Ted to Jimmy I'm going to LOSE MY FUCKING MIND. Is this another testament to people not understanding Ted's overall role in the story and his character arc? YES, YES IT IS. RE READ THE BOOK. RE LISTEN TO THE RADIO DRAMA. GAME IS IT'S OWN CONVERSATION THAT WILL TAKE TOO LONG FOR ME TO DISECT + IT HAS IT'S OWN STORY AND THUS WILL NOT BE INCLUDED HERE.

Jimmy is a jealous man, who assaults (and unfortunately impregnates) Anya, and then tries to crash the ship so he doesn't have to deal with the consequences, and when everyone lives, they live in misery BECAUSE OF HIM. He is the co-pilot, he has more power and authority over the others, and he ACTIVELY makes things worse, and is at fault for the crash and the subsequent fallout. (this section is shorter, simply because I've been in the IHNMAIMS fandom much longer and have way more thoughts on Ted) Ted, on the other hand, is not at fault for the world ending. He is just as trapped as the other five, he's more prone to mental manipulation and THINKING he's better off, but he really isn't. He doesn't have more power of the others because he's also a victim. He is by no means a great guy, or even a good guy; They key difference is that at the end of his story, the book, he actually fucking HELPS. Rather than make his friends continue to live in misery, he puts them out of it, and rather than end his own suffering, he spends those precious few seconds he could be ramming an icicle into himself, comforting Ellen as she dies. It doesn't make up for what he's thought and said, BUT, it's something at least. It's remorse, it's letting her finally be content, it's trying to give her the empathy she showed him time and time again. And he gets turned into a horrid slug creature after, he actively suffers more than everyone else for the rest of time- he self sacrifices so his friends could be at peace. TLDR: Jimmy is objectively selfish and doesn't change much throughout the game, save for MAYBE the very end (ig putting Curly in the pod is one brownie point for him) however Ted actually shows growth by the end of the story, and makes a point to end the suffering of his friends, while ultimately sacrificing himself in the process. If I catch another person equating these two I'm just gonna start throwing hammers at them I DON'T CARE. I am THE Ted defender, and I WILL stand my ground that, while he is no where near perfect, he DOES become a better person by the end of the story and deserves to have that acknowledged. anyway this has been sick rants with me, feel free to add on in reblogs or perchance spark a FRIENDLY debate. I apologize if I come off rude here, Ted and IHNMAIMS have been a hyperfixation of mine for months and I am very easily riled up about the story and characters. adding new tag ; Jace rants 🗯️ ! For all my ranting escapades from now on.

[wishchip106]

i feel like Magneto: Origins handled the death of Magda and Anya (Nina) way better than in Xmen Apocalypse

they show how Erik and Magda meet in the camps unlike Apocalypse where they just mention about them randomly meeting.

despite being brief they still manage to show a lot more character in Anya and Magda which makes the impact of their deaths even greater.

the small moments of Erik being playful and happy with his family just makes me want to cry ☹️

after Erik recovered himself from throwing up in the woods after “accidentally” killing someone in a bar, he walks home hearing words throw at him like ‘the devil’ or ‘witch man’. he soon sees smoke in the direction of his house.

running over he sees a small mob burning his house down shouting “kill the monster!”, he then notices both Magda and Anya in the burning building. trying to go in and save his wife and daughter, he’s stopped by the mob.

Erik manages to break through the angry people but parts of the building collapses over the only way in which then leads to Magda and Nina dying. Distraught (obviously) Erik freaks out, his powers going into overdrive, killing everyone in his path as he runs out of town.

gawd damn ☹️

what makes this better is that their deaths weren’t used in the classic fridging way like apocalypse used, obviously it does lead Erik on in the story but not in the way like “i’m going to become a villain now” or “i must get revenge for their deaths”

in the first quarter of the movie Erik says, multiple times, that he isn’t a killer. even though he has killed someone, he didn’t mean it 😿

honestly this doesn’t cover the full way of how they treat Magda and Anya but just know that its way better than the fridging from Apocalypse 😔

and also ‘second chance at love’ love interest Charles Xavier 😁 Erik deserves that hot bald guy

if i was better at writing these kind of things i would keep going but i’m not so this is as much as we will get 🙁

RIP Magda and Nina, you deserved better writers 💔

[askinganya]

@askdrunkjimmy (Transcript under read more)

To Jimmy, 

I’m at a loss for words. I never thought I would be surrounded by a group of people who love someone quite this much.

Jimmy, you and I aren’t friends. We don’t get along. The reasons are so obvious to me, and yet when I go to explain them to other people I almost feel guilty. My reasons for not liking you are directly influenced by how you act and treat the ones you love, and when I take into account why- this addiction- it puts things into perspective in a way I didn’t expect.

When Daisuke asked me to be a part of this intervention I almost said no, but I thought about the night I had to pick you up drunk at a bar. You were covered in your own vomit and you were crying about how “terrible you were” and how you “couldn’t stop yourself” from ruining everything. That’s the thing, you can. I decided to put my money towards your treatment because I do believe in you and know you can be a better man. You want to, I know you do. The facility that we want to send you to is one of the best. One of my friends I met through a support group for LGBT individuals went to this center and said that it changed his life. I’m hoping it can do the same for you. If you don’t go, I fear you will be further isolated from the lives of people who love you. Please accept the help we all feel you deserve. 

-Anya