#anorexia diary
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I want to be small for him
I need to be small for him
He says I'm perfect
I don't believe him
I need to be perfect for him
#ana#tw ana diary#ana trigger#ortho#orthorexia#anorexia#anoreksik#anorexies#anor3c1a#anorexcya#tw ed diet#tw restrictive ed#tw disordered eating#tw eating issues#al'sradiobroadcast#proana#not pro just using tags
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I want to be scary thin
I want people to be worried
I want to be sick
I want to be beautiful
I want to stop eating completely
I want to be skinny
I want a BMI of 13
#bonespo#4norexi4#ana e mia#anarex14#pro a4a#anarexic#pro ana#anamia#anorexia#ana mia#tw ana diary#ana rant#ana bllog#ana#tw ed behavior#tw ed#pro ed#ed not ed sheeran#thinspp#thinspø#thin$po#tw thinspi#bonespø#bonespr0#bonespp#skiny girl#i wanna be skinnier#tw skipping meals#bulimima#bulim14
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looking for moots!!^_^ (target audience)
#christiane f#wir kinder vom bahnhof zoo#tw drugs#junkie#addict#addiction#ana#tw ana diary#narkotyki#będę motylkiem#motylki any#proana#narkomania#cpanie#drugs#iv drugs#anorexia#ed not ed sheeran#looking for friends#looking for mutuals#looking for moots#target audience
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My ED be like: Let's watch ss vs. ss, drink green tea with no milk or sugar, a large cup of ice water and scroll through edblr while ⭐️ving in bed all day. Sounds like fun huh?
#light as a feather#tw ana bløg#tw ana rant#tw ed ana#anadiet#thinspø#4nor3xia#ana y mia#tw mia#4norexla#4n@diary#4n4blr#4n4m1a#3d diary#3d not sheeran#34t1ng d1s0rd3r#3ating d1sorder#3d blog#3ating disord3r#3d but not sheeren#anamia#pro ana#anorexia#ana#disordered eating thoughts#tw eating issues#ed relapse#ed disorder#ana e mia#skinnygirl
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this is all i want.
@kanashkova.lera on instagram
#tw disordered eating#tw ana diary#tw restrictive ed#tw ed diet#4norexi4#tw restriction#disordered eating mention#thinsp0#thinspo#thinspø#th1nsp1ration#ana#tw eating issues#tw ed#eating disoder trigger warning#anorex14#anorexia#anorexcya#b0dy ch3ck#thinner is better#i wanna be skinnier#i want to be skinnier#bonespø
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can you even believe i’m the same person?? and that wasn’t even my heaviest on the right, that’s about 20-25lbs down. minus another fifty+ on the left
#tw ana trigger#tw ana diary#tw ana blog#anamia#proana#promia#notprojusttags#notprojustusingthetags#not pro just using tags#not pro just tags#anorexia#eating disoder tw#tw disordered eating#tw ed implied#weight loss#weightloss#thinsporation#thinspo#before and after#ana before and after
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My own place to vent.
I've been going on 200-500 calories for a week, I've lost a lot of weight - however, I want even more. I've been knocking everything down with zero cola or lots of smoking disposables. I want to lose weight, I want to be beautiful, I want to be perfect.
#anorexla#self destruction#a4a diary#bonesspo#bullmia#ed#anOrexia#thinspo#edmemes#anor3xia#proana#promia#not pro just tags#pr04n4#eating disorder#anOr3xia#bulimia nervosa#anOrexla#anOrexic#low cal ana#low cal 4na#anorexia nervosa#anorexia#I want to be skinny#thin#thigh gap#tw ana relapse#self hate#i wanna be weightless#i wanna be thin
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#ana y mía#pro ana#tw ana diary#anamia#anaymia#ana#pro mia#mia#anna miaa#tca#tcaos#anorexia#anorexica.#bulimica#bulimia
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So you wanna purge- here are some foods to avoid!
⭐️ bagels, tortillas, hawaiien rolls. That shit will get stuck and you’ll make a lot of noise trying to get it all out.
⭐️ if it’s really spicy going down, it’s gonna be really spicy coming up
⭐️ tbh purging anything with tomato sauce has ruined me so badly. cant eat pizza or pasta without remembering the specific scent
⭐️ yogurt is so fucking vile to throw up but it’s not hard
⭐️ on the other hand, ice cream? so good. if you do it right after, it’s still kinda cold and it doesn’t taste like death! tbh not a bad experience
⭐️ sushi. stay away from sushi. just… take my word for it please ..
⭐️ SHREDDED WHEATS. listen- i was in high school (and cereal is a huge trigger food for me) i thought i could just throw the cereal back up. nO! it feels like bricks of sandpaper! and it’s like you never even chewed it?????? avoid at all costs.
⭐️ anything red is kinda sus bc is it blood? berries? sauce? who knows!
⭐️ if you never want to eat peanut butter the same way, avoid throwing it up. i had to avoid peanut butter for a long time.
⭐️ soda is so fucking weird to throw up. not bad just so so weird.
#anorex14#ed bllog#ed not sheeren#ed relapse#ed vent#pro a4a#tw ana diary#tw ana shit#⭐️ving#skinnni#a4a st☆rve#a4a tips#4n4t1ps#eating disoder trigger warning#anorexia#purge mention#purging#notprojustusingthetags#ana tips#eating disorder
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You're just bored.
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Eugh I hate being a show off but not having the body for it. I'll get all dolled up and look nice to go out and make people stare And then I look in the mirror And cry I'm too fat to be like this :c
#ana#tw ana diary#ana trigger#ortho#orthorexia#anorexia#anoreksik#anorexies#anor3c1a#anorexcya#tw ed diet#tw restrictive ed#tw disordered eating#tw eating issues#al'sradiobroadcast#proana#not pro just using tags
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Some of my fave thinspo 🍸🎀
AND REMEMBER NOTHING TASTES AS SKINNY FEELS
#4norexi4#ana e mia#anarex14#pro a4a#tw thinspi#thinspø#thin$po#tw ed relapse#thinspp#anorexia#pro ana#tw ana diary#ana trigger#ana rant#ana bllog#anarexic#4narex1a#4n0rexic#4n4 diet#4nami4#4n0r3xia#4n4rexia#4norexla#tw ed behavior#pro ed#ed not ed sheeran#tw ed diet#tw restrictive ed#ed not sheeren#kate moss
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"u dont look anorexic"
#lekka jak motyl#motylki blog#az do kosci#bede lekka#motylki any#tw ana diary#ana male#ana trigger#ed vent#ftm ed#trans ana#tw ana trigger#boy ana#pro ana#pro a4a#anorex14#anorexia#anorexcya#anor3c1a#ed disorder#tw edd#ed diet#tw ed boy#ed not sheeren#ed relapse#anorexies#bulim14
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When I see a really clever and funny original Ed post.
Of course, Fuck, it's genius. Why didn't I think of that?
#light as a feather#tw ana bløg#tw ana rant#tw ed ana#4nor3xia#anadiet#thinspø#anamia#4norexla#ana y mia#4n4blr#4n4m1a#4n4rexia#pro ana#anorexia#ana#disordered eating thoughts#tw eating issues#ed relapse#ed disorder#ana e mia#3d diary#34t1ng d1s0rd3r#3ating disord3r#3ating d1sorder#3d blog#3d but not sheeren#3d di3t#3d vent#tw 3d diet
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Heyy I love your work I was wondering if you could do a klaus one we’re the reader is a bit chubby and all of a sudden she started wearing long sleeve and oversized stuff and nobody rlly noticed until they had a party or smth and she wears a dress and when they see here there all rlly shocked cause they didn’t notice how she a lot or weight in like a span of 2-4 weeks and she hasn’t eaten for like 2 days before the party
This one-shot will contain triggering content around eating disorders including both anorexia and bulimia. Please don’t read this is you feel it may upset you or harm you mental health. I’ve had personal issues around this area and know it can be hard. Don’t hesitate to reach out 🤍
Too much or Not enough?
Y/n had struggled with weight as a child, and as a teenager. As a result she had a difficult relationship with food and clothes.
She was naturally a little curvier, but what some people saw as gorgeous another saw as an opportunity to poke fun. And so she grew up hating herself and those around her who would highlight her insecurities.
As she grew out of adolescence and into adulthood she lost a little weight. She went to the gym excessively and ate barely anything. It was unhealthy but in her eyes it was her best option.
She still had her curves but they were complimented more than they were judged but even when people said ‘good’ things about her body, she just saw it at mocking. She would have kept losing the weight but she ended up passing out at the gym and having the paramedics called. They told her she needed to keep a balanced diet and take care of herself and as much as she didn’t want to, the fear of being that embarrassed again haunted her.
So she ate some what regularly for a while but ended up with two fingers down her throat to get it all back out.
She would have carried on that way if it weren’t for the Mikaelsons.
She had ended up being wrapped into the supernatural world and suddenly there were so many other problems in her life that food was almost forgotten.
Between a temperamental pregnant Hayley, overly dramatic Rebekah, pissed off Elijah, furious Marcel, war raging Klaus, power-hungry witches, territorial werewolves and bloodthirsty vampires, Y/n didn’t have much time to focus on herself. Especially not after Hope was born.
The stress seemed to make her hungrier, she would go days without any food and then eating as much as she could to ‘keep herself going’.
She didn’t really realise she had put her weight back on, she assumed running around after everyone would have been enough exercise.
And when Klaus had shown interest in her, when he had kissed her and laid her heart out on his sleeve well she assumed she must have looked good. Someone like him wouldn’t go for who she used to be, right?
And so she gained a small amount of confidence until the supernatural communities began to calm down and it seemed people were more attentive.
Y/n was able to go out more, whether it was with Hayley, Rebekah, Davina or just by herself. And that’s how it circled back.
One or two comments on her figure from men made her wear baggier clothes. An awkward moment with Hayley and Rebekah when the girls went shopping and Rebekah unintentionally made a quip on y/n’s size. Apparently a dress that looked good on Hayley wouldn’t be nice on ‘someone like Y/n’. She had brushed it off and told Rebekah it was fine when the blonde began apologising but inside it was anything but fine.
Even if she hadn’t had any malicious intent or meant it in any offence, it tore up old wounds and brought back something much deeper rooted.
And then when things started to kick off again and Klaus payed y/n less and less attention or affection, she assumed it was because she was no longer attractive to him. Had she gained that much?
So she did what she knew would work.
She forced herself to the gym as often as she could for as long as she could. Drank as much water that was available to her and ate the bare minimum to keep her conscious. Throw up anyway meal that she did happen to consume and have a packet of gum handy incase she got too hungry.
It was even easier to do once Hope was around more, Y/n was often asked to look after the baby while the rest of them took on the new foes and unexpected family members.
When Klaus, Elijah and Marcel had announced there would be a party to celebrate the defeat of a common enemy, Y/n began to worry. The last time she had to dress of for one of those things she was much bigger than she had thought. Looking back on pictures of that evening persuaded her to gag and cough up to the point where she was only throwing up water and blood form how she had torn her throat inside.
Even Hope could sense the change in Y/n’s behaviour when she looked after her. But nobody else did, everyone was too busy to realise.
Klaus had barely looked at her let alone touched her to realise that she had done down 2 clothing sizes and yet was wearing t-shirts triple the size they would need to be. None of the girls payed enough attention to see the bags under Y/n’s eyes or to notice her absence each morning when she would struggle on a treadmill for hours on end. Only Hope, someone who wasn’t even a year old, would give Y/n the hug she so desperately needed.
———————————————————————
It was the day do the party, Y/n stared aimlessly at the dress she had chosen the week before. If she were honest she planned on not going at all, nobody would notice anyway. But then Rebekah came in all bubbly demanding that she know what colours people were wearing she they didn’t clash in photos.
Photos.
Y/n learned to despise them. “The camera adds 10 pounds” she was told by her mother when she was young and it was something she reminded herself every time a flash went off.
So she needed to make sure she looked okay.
She scrubbed her skin raw in the shower, shaved every last hair from her legs before moisturising them and the rest of her body. She avoided any full body length mirrors and focused on her face, covering every flaw possible. Her hair was pulled to be half up half down, leaving pieces to frame her face and still give her enough volume.
She managed to get the dress on that was now a little loose on her, which she should have been worried about but she couldn’t help but feel relieved. The zip went up effortlessly but even so, she didn’t want to step outside of that door. So she stayed on the edge of her bed, her nails licking at the material of her dress as she hoped the night would pass by without her.
She had no such luck when Hayley came knocking on the door
“Y/n? Are you okay? The party started a while ago” she called through the wall and Y/n pinched her own skin desperately
“I don’t think I’m gonna come down…I’ll just keep an eye on Hope” she replied
“Hope’s dressed up and downstairs with Klaus at the moment, you don’t need to watch her, come have fun!” She told her brightly and Y/n could feel herself getting hotter as the nerves poured in
“Parties aren’t really my scene” she responded softly “maybe next time okay?” She tried again but Hayley was getting persistent
“Oh come on, there’s music, drinks, food. Have you eaten yet? Come on we’ll go get something” she encouraged but that only made it worse. Y/n had made sure not to eat anything the last 2 days so that there was zero chance of any bloating and she wasn’t about to ruin that.
“I ate earlier” she lied and Hayley sighed
“Try make an appearance? If not for me then for Rebekah or Klaus” she asked and Y/n could have scoffed. As if either of them had cared less that she was there.
Well so she assumed.
Unfortunately for her she was proven wrong again when the door hand was twisted and pulled, a frustrated groan coming from the other side of the door when they realised it was locked
“Y/n?” Klaus questioned “come out” he ordered and she had the sudden urged to suffocate herself with a pillow.
“I’m going to sleep” she mumbled, though she was still dolled up and sat against the headboard but it wasn’t like he could see her.
“We can fix that, open the door and I’ll grab you a dress” he told her and she pinched the bridge of her nose
“I already have a dress” she muttered in defeat, Klaus wouldn’t walk away as easily as Hayley.
“Perfect. Put it on.” He grumbled “Rebekah needs you in the photo” he added and she nodded, of course they needed to keep their image up.
“I don’t want to be in the photo anyway” she murmured and he groaned
“Just do it” he complained and she reluctantly stood up.
She plodded her way to look in the mirror and yet despite the makeup on her face, she just looked tired. It didn’t matter anymore though, she looked bad in pictures either way, may as-well know it this time.
Just as Klaus was reader to break the handle off the door, it was clicked open and Y/n was looking up at him through glassy eyes.
Klaus’s expression dropped almost instantly when he looked at her. The dress was loose around her body in all areas, her arms thinner than usual making him frown and reach a hand out to grab ahold of her wrist. His eyes locked on hers and his lips parted in shock.
She assumed he was thinking she looked awful, was the dress too small again? Was she too big? She could feel her face heating and her eyes filling with tears. Her breathing grew more laboured and her hands began to ping at the fabric around her to make it seem baggier.
Klaus quickly pulled her into his room so nobody could look up the stairs and see them. He stroked her hair gently as he wrapped his arms around her in an attempt to stop any tears from falling.
“Sweetheart” he whispered quietly, guilt beginning to rise in him. People didn’t loose this much weight this fast. He knew he had been distant the last month but that was to keep her safe not to make her sick, was she I’ll and not told anybody? Or was this something much more?
He feared for the last one as he rubbed her back soothingly while small sniffs lift her and panicked apologies flooded form her lips.
“Why are you sorry my love?” He murmured gently.
“I just wanted to be pretty” she uttered and his heart ached for her. “I tried really hard” she whispered “it wasn’t enough”
“Y/n…” he murmured as his arms held her a little tighter “you’re always pretty, you’re beautiful and bright” he told her “don’t change anything about yourself for anyone else ever”
“I did it for me too” she mumbled and he nodded hesitantly
“Yeah but…this isn’t the way” he whispered and she sniffed
“It’s the only way that works” she argued
“Love, what have you been eating?” He asks and she frowns
“Why does that matter?”
“Because there’s a difference between eating healthily and not eating enough” he told her and she began to grow more upset at his tone
“I eat too much” she utters and he sighs, he placed both hands on her shoulders and looks down at her
“Nobody thinks that” he whispered, his eyes locked on hers as though it would make her listen better. “Not eating at all is as bad as eating too much, we can find a good balance” he persuaded
“I’ve tried balanced diets, it doesn’t work” she shakes her head frustrated
“I’ll find you a better one” he decided and she lets out a laugh
“Why because I suddenly matter enough? If you only just realised that I’ve lost the weight when we live in the same home then Im clearly not worth-“
“Stop” he whispered, a crack in his tone “do not do this to me and do not do this to yourself” he let out a breath “I wouldn’t ever want this to happen to you, I care about you. I was just leaving you out of all the darkness and the pain, you weren’t supposed to bring it to yourself” he snapped. His eyes were hard though he didn’t mean to appear so angry as tears freely flowed down Y/n’s face and a sob let her lips.
At the sound of her cries, Klaus’s bedroom door was opened rather suddenly. A concerned Elijah stepped inside, his eyes falling to Y/n and his brows furrowing as he noticed his brother trying to apologise. Then he noticed the differences from the last few times he had seen her and he picked up on what was happening pretty quickly.
He closed the door behind him and came forward, coaxing Y/n out of Klaus’s arms and into his own.
“Would you like a smoothie my dear? We’ve stocked the kitchen with fruits recently” Elijah murmured softly, his chin on top her head as he glanced to an upset Niklaus. Y/n frowned in confusion at the offer and at the calming affect Elijah seemed to have over everyone. He wasn’t really the hugging type but it was nice to experience one. She didn’t reply but he kept talking “how about I go and get you a smoothie while Niklaus helps you out of this dress? I’m sure you can wear one of his shirts for bed hm?” He lifted her chin up to look down at her. She blinked at him unsure as he tried to convince her further “I’ll bring Hope up as well?” He offered and she nodded slowly.
Elijah gave a look to Klaus and both brothers began to move. Elijah rushed off downstairs and Klaus grabbed one of his henleys. Y/n kept her eyes on the ground as Klaus’s fingers gently undid the dress
“I’m sorry my love” he whispered as he let the material drop down to the floor making goosebumps arise across her skin. His lips pressed to her shoulder softly before the warmth of his top was pulled over her head and her arms were pulled into the sleeves. His arms slid round her waist gently and his nose buried into her hair.
She kept quiet, eyes down as he unclipped her curls and let it all fall loosely around her face. Soft kisses planted their way up her face as Elijah returned with a smoothie and a straw.
Both brothers guided her to sit up on Klaus’s bed before sitting either side of her. Gently she was pulled into Klaus’s lap and the straw was brought to her lips
“The cup is only half full, the rest of it is in the fridge for tomorrow if you should want more” Elijah tells her with a reassuring smile
Klaus brushed his hands along her sides gently as she reluctantly drank what she was given. Both brothers continued to speak of random topics to keep the attention off of her as she took small sips as slowly leant back against Klaus’s chest.
15 minutes later Hayley came by and dropped Hope off, both she and Elijah left, leaving Klaus, Y/n and Hope to snuggle up together with the silent promise that at least Klaus and Elijah and most likely the rest of the Mikaelsons would be helping Y/n find a happier,healthier state of mind and body.
(I hope this was what was wanted, I didn’t go too deep into the topic and still wanted it to have a relatively happier/promising ending. If a darker message or ending was wanted then I would be okay with trying to write something similar for anyone out there. I understand the struggles with eating disorders and also with self harm and just mental health in general so feel free to message or request, anything at all :))
#triggering content#eating disoder trigger warning#bulimima#anorexia#the originals#klaus mikaelson#the vampire diaries#klaus mikaelson x reader#klaus mikaelson one shot#klaus mikealson fanfiction#klaus mikaleson imagine#rebekah mikaelson#niklaus imagines#the vampire diares imagine#elijah mikaelson#klaus m#klaus mikaelson x y/n#kol mikaelson#niklaus mikaelson#tvd klaus#klaus michaelson#tvd universe#hope mikaelson#klaus mikaelson headcanon#klaus mikaelson fluff#klaus mikaelson yandere#klaus mikealson smut#klaus mikaelson x yn#klaus mikealson x reader#tw ed diet
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oof
lmao oof
#tw ana trigger#tw ana diary#tw ana blog#ana blog#anamia#proana#promia#notprojusttags#notprojustusingthetags#not pro just using tags#not pro just tags#eating disoder tw#tw disordered eating#eating disroders#anorexia#weightloss#weight loss#thinsporation#thinspo
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