#anon hate real
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That megaman show from 2018 was trashy as fuck, why not make fan stuff about the actually valid mega man series. Disappointing waste of talent to be honest.
So usually I don't give these type of asks the time of day, because I know the people who send them are practically begging for attention, but
I thought this was alarming and figured I'd give you guys a heads up, they sent one last ask right after I switched off anon asks, so I know who they are, but both thier username and pfp where incredibly inappropriate ( had some nasty slurs i dont want on my page and straight up porn on thier pfp) so yeah, pretty instant block and report
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/e85569efec88e435ed158e72fa094f1e/0cde9acb28d63572-23/s1280x1920/977c7ae26679dddf826e7c7c9ec43e80b3523899.jpg)
Ik this is probably a troll and all, but this is just a heads up to my fellow Uber cool fully charged artists out there 😎😎😎✌️✌️ keep on drawing and don't let lil punks like this guy make you feel bad for enjoying less popular media 🗣🗣🗣❗️
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you should draw mags with his gorgeous, voluptuous ’97 hair for the culture
JUST THIS ONCE ☝️.
#xmen#xmen comics#xmen tas#erik lehnsherr#magneto#snap sketches#chat i have to be 1000% ........ i dont like his long hair that much IM SORRY#I DONT HATE IT IN 97 (I THINK) i just like it when its shoulder length ... its cute like that...#i will make him give kars realness tho ..... for you anon ...
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im way too scared to say this on main but icl i love lloyrumi n' i love ur lloyrumi art ... can u draw them more for me ... maybe dr harumi meeting sora and jordana like 'damn lloyd they js like us fr fr ???'
i love when the relationship dynamic is "kiss marry kill? all of the above"
#llorumi#wolfcat shipping#raspberryshipping#ninjago#:3#parcaeive#ty for the ask!!! :3#ok im too lazy to tag the individual characters right now maybe later#also anon never be afraid to be a llorumi shipper...never be afraid to be real af#thwres Six actie llorumi shippers here and they would fight for u fr...#also sorry for taking about Checks time NINE THOUSAND YEARS to respond#WAIT im not forcing u to go to main Just so we r on the samr page but i think you should Not be scared#But fr dont be afraid to be a llorumi shipper we are one in the same... two peas in a pod..#like yeah ig majority of the fandom hates it so what#i like it and u like it and we're grooving so we should just have fun!!!!#also dont mind the ugly ass jordana idk how to draw her hair yet#shes my next kai#ninjago spoilers#<- only implied but wtv
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When I was last on tumblr, it was ten years ago and one of the biggest faux pas you could commit was incorrect tagging.
It was Literally Colonialism to use a tag that was For Certain Oppressed Groups. The actually-autistic tag was created because allistics "took over" the autism tag, and this/other tags became heavily policed by users to make sure they remained a "safe space".
I remember seeing countless posts about how autistics would never be safe if we didn't have a bubble to protect us from interacting with allistics. The same went for tags about transliness and queerness. The going approach used militarized and hyperbolic language to characterize and other folks who weren't in the community: autistics (the group I had the most direct experience with) were attacked by allistic invaders who violated and conquered autistic tagging systems.
The "Literally Colonialism" isn't a joke. I saw plenty of suggestions that to even use a tag which was perceived as being "not yours" was colonization of ideas and thoughts. To be allistic, have an opinion on autism, and tag it as "autism" was held up as being exactly the same as the behavior of empires and nation-states.
Obviously, I don't entirely agree, and don't think this particular hyperbolization is helpful for advocacy or for dialogue. But I do find it interesting how, in the decade since I was last here, it seems to (mostly) still be true that you should only use certain tags if you have a particular identity...
... unless you're not Jewish, in which case feel free to use any and all Judaism-related tags and break the system's meager functionality for Jewish people.
As someone who is using Tumblr to connect to online Judaism, it's daunting to see how many posts under "judaism" are by non-Jews screeching about Israel. Seeing non-Jews openly talk about they tag their posts with gore, rape denial, Holocaust denial, October 7 denial, and other deliberately-triggering material with Jewish-themed tags specifically to make Jewish users of Tumblr feel unsafe. Reading them telling each other about how this is advocacy, this will absolutely win the war for Gazans, and how anybody who blocks them (in order to make sure the tags can actually work as intended) is a genocidal coward. Using that self-same militaristic language to describe their activities, only instead of criticizing, they're bragging.
It's, uh, kind of fucked up.
Imagine going to the actually-autistic tag and finding nothing but a wall of allistics claiming that they've victoriously conquered the tag from those inhuman monsters pretending to have problems when other Real People are the ones who are suffering. I think we would all intuitively understand that this would be Wrong. Even if there was some supposed outward justification for being mad at certain autistics, we would understand that holding all autistics everywhere responsible for it is wrong. That breaking a community's ability to talk to each other is wrong. That trying to trigger people and then telling them to commit suicide is wrong.
And we'd also understand, or come to, that the very action of going "This community I'm not part of doesn't deserve to have this tag, I'mma take it back, or at least ruin it so no one else can have it" is an expression of privilege. It is wrong, and it is immature, and it is cowardice.
These smug, self-involved, active attempts at causing harm make no sense at all if seen as advocacy; they help no one, advance no cause, stop no Zionists (whatever that means) from expressing themselves online.
They only make sense when seen as Jew-hate.
#judaism#jumblr#antisemitism#jew hatred#leftist antisemitism#antisemitism on tumblr#guess i'm ready for the anon hate to come rolling in#is-the-fire-real original#jew by choice
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what was with cameron house md she spends 90% of the episode saying she wants their patient to die bc he's a genocidal dictator and her colleague husband says "babe it bothers me for ethical reasons that you want our patient to die :(" and she said "hm maybe you're right :/" but when it comes down to it the genocidal dictator lays a finger on her in an aggressive manner and chase instantly commits medical malpractice to murder the guy and then when he tells her she LEAVES HIM bc boo hoo he's a murderer now like GIRL he killed a man for you!!! he's wracked with catholic guilt!!! he's being crushed beneath the weight of his sins because he chose his devotion to you over his devotion to god!!! he literally could not get any sexier at this moment in time!!!
#girl what are you doing......#also just in general she did not deserve him honestly he was so good to her and for WHAT#just to be abandoned at peak devotion and guilt and hotness 🙄#girl get OUT of my way i'm stronger than you#if she cared she could fix him or make him worse but i could love and support him no matter what 😌#his muder is a part of him and its SEXY#robert chase#house md#malpractice md#i know the actors broke up irl or whatever but wtf.....#i should have ended my rewatch w their happy lil wedding at the end of s5#s6 everything instantly goes to shit#and stays shitty#chase should be happy fr#he's supposed to turn into house basically but they should have made him the well adjusted version of house#like how nightwing is the well adjusted version of batman#anyway i have no real point here i just lowkey dont like cameron bc of this arc#also her obsession w house is so weird i wish they hadn't made that a thing#this has been a shitpost#anyway she left chase at the absolute peak of his sexiness wtf.......#anyway since this apparently needs to be said its not that deep this is a silly post if you send me hate messages i wont answer#i block and ignore anon hate bc i am too busy touching grass to be rude to strangers over a tv show
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sometimes pro endos and anti endos should just. chill. interact. don't limit yourself to only interacting with people with morals that are 100% the same as yours. everyone's all "no one is perfect" until the imperfection is that they don't agree with you on something. like no actually flaws aren't just skills people aren't good at, they're also moral things
tl;dr just chatting with people who disagree with you is ok and not everything is about syscourse
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#sorry anon have to disagree#we as a system refuse to talk to people who actively deny the existence and experiences of others who dont fall into their view of them#if an anti-endo talks shit about mixed origin systems we wont bother talking to them#our spouse is mixed origin and at that point they're insulting someone close to us#so no as a pro-endo system i refuse to speak with anyone who invalidates and fakeclaims anyone who doesnt fit their narrow views#on who is a system or not#if i meet an anti-endo in real life and they spout of nonsense we will walk away from them#like you act as if this is easy to do#its not and will not be because anti-endos are directly hating others for existing#nope sorry cant see this ever happening#makes me think you're secretly an anti-endo because you left out how they are hateful to others they don't agree with#just look at their hateful ass tags#like “endos fuck off” “endos not for you” “endos aren't real”#also this post is not an ok for anti-endos to start spamming asks because we will delete them#so yeah no not happening#endo friendly#plural community#pluralgang#plurality#pluralpunk#pro endo#mixed origin system#traumaendo#endogenic safe#syscourse
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ASPD culture is seeing an antisocial person be 'anti good faith labels' (like bi lesbian and such) and immediately thinking they're a poser. pfft, you think societally created bullshit has strict rules that everyone must follow? lame, I thought ASPD was Disregard The Rules disorder.
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#cluster b culture is#aspd culture is#cluster b#aspd#Mod Reef#anonymous#as a genderfaun abro gaybian: fucking Real#(one of our blogs quite literally has lesboy in the url and we're shocked that we haven't gotten anon hate (at least for that) yet)#(then again we rarely post in tags and i think only have... 20-ish followers on that blog? something to that tune?)
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Congrats, now all I'm going to be able to think about all day long is Chifeng-zun being stunned into silence by the sight of Meng Yao's braids, the same as if he had never left. His hand reaches out and clenches in mid-air, while Jin Guangyao stands shell-shocked and panicking, or blissfully oblivious to how Nie Mingjue's world is tilting on its axis. He could be mad, the rage that almost let him call the Unclean Realm home making Hensheng thrum: because what right does Nie Mingjue have to want him now, when he finally has a place he belongs? And why does want to quit it all for him?
Anyway, now you can share in my brain worms~
In that moment, something was communicated
unfortunately, neither knew exactly what it was
#i'm right there with you anon i'm constantly rotating these two in my head#mdzs#jin guangyao#nie mingjue#nieyao#jgy#nmj#perpetually obsessed with jgy's nie braids#''i am going to the effort of - every single day - doing up my hair in a way that directly reminds me of you. which very directly ties me t#you and your family. and then i am covering it up completely to ensure that no one - least of all you - will ever know they exist.#and then i'll take them out and do the exact same thing tomorrow. i hate you. i fear you. i want you dead. i will continue to do this.''#hi what does any of that MEAN#what does it MEAN meng yao???#and lord knows that nmj would never know. does jgy actually do it just for himself? if so what does that mean?#or did he do this with the INTENTION that nmj should ''accidentally'' see them? and if so what does THAT mean?#is this real? a ruse? if the latter how many layers deep does it go? is it worth figuring out? or is it easier just to get angry?#i feel so normal about it#what would he do if something dislodged his hat and nmj actually saw them? no idea but i want to read 100 fics with that premise#and see every possible permeation#my art#i'm not sure why i felt like going with this black and white style but i haven't done anything like this in years so it was fun#normally i do them with actual markers so this was honestly relaxing like easy mode
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I truly have no patience for "criticizing a creative choice is disrespectful" as a statement. If you can't tell the difference between sending hate or harassing creators/fans, vs. saying "I didn't like this and here's why" you are an idiot. And on the flip side if you're a creator and someone says "I didn't like this" without any sort of personal attacks or hate involved, simply on the basis of critique and personal preference, and that makes you feel bad enough to stop creating then maybe you should step back and either get offline or make room for someone who has an actual creative vision that isn't "I want everyone to like me."
#queue#i feel like i keep saying this in different forms but#man. remember the weirdo with a wildly misinformed ogl take#one of their friends tried to get me to stop being like you can dislike this without making up weird lies#and ultimately sent me hate after i ignored multiple asks so i blocked them#and i checked them later and like. they were the sort of person who caved to every. single. anon. just groveled and cried and capitulated#and yeah the realization that they thought this was the CORRECT behavior to be spineless and without perspective#was truly a damn bitch you live like this? moment. like real talk anon hate cannot change my mind#because to be perfectly honest i perceive myself as so vastly superior to anyone who sends anon hate it's like taking direction from an ant#(considerate and polite anons with reasoned statements? yeah i'll listen but like. if you just don't like me. sounds like not my problem.)#like. obviously criticism doesn't FEEL good it's not SUPPOSED to but if it's an argument and not an ad hominem attack? it's valid#and an artist worth their salt should be able to understand this is how the world works. get offline if you're upset - that's valid!#you're allowed to AVOID it. you just lack the power or right to shut it down.
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your poor grandparents id be sick
they actually messaged me telling me they accept me and i wore a skirt to their house for christmas! :)
#my posts#asks#anon#terfs vs reality baby guess who wins#in real life some people just dont carry a lot of hate in their hearts unlike you#cw transphobia
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anakin is not a faggot... george lucas said he fucks his wife with his dick regularly I know mentally ill people on this website live in delusion but fucking die mad about it
You're right anon oh I am soooo mad rn, so mad that hetorooo Anakin gets pegged on the reg by his beautiful wife Padme Amidala- How will I ever recover from this ? I am *shattered*, never to be complete again now that George's simp forbade me from being a pédale on tumblr dot com
#Omg after years of crimes they finaly found me..... The real star wars fans *insert dramatic sound effect*#I know this is rage bait and I shouldn't answer#and I am being so mature about not responding to anon hate 90% of the time...#but this one was too funny I couldn't resist ggkkf#are you telling me he fucks her.... with his dick ??? groundbreaking revelations I might need a minute guys#cw homophobia#cw slurs#cw anon hate#star wars#anakin skywalker
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there’s something i really adore about curly being revealed to being this beautiful blond man after we see him post crash like what happens to him is so awful and dehumanizing like he really loses everything but especially as a viewer/player watching this game i love the commentary it’s silently making and this uncomfortable feeling in my chest that i have to wrestle with. love it when stuff makes me feel
I think it’s so poignant that Jimmy never hallucinates or sees Curly as his pre-crash self. He only speaks to Curly about and in terms of his own thoughts and projections and rarely lets him have his own inner personal thoughts. Even before the crash it is like this. He is the perfect captain to him and to an extent the rest of the crew even if he is more actualized around the others.
So much of how Curly is dehumanized by Jimmy and the rest is representative of how the Pony Express and capitalism strips workers of their identity, into objects of service. Once he can’t do anything who or what he was is no longer important, worthless, a burden. He is both the dandy dish in HFIM, the idea of going up being before the crash, while the ball is after the crash, his forced decent downwards.
There is an argument he is dehumanized to less than an even object with how his ID card lacks a name and face in Jimmy’s hallucination. Even Anya gets her name, and identify. He is just an empty spot, a role to fill to a lot of them, which is think is why so many fans have a hard time pin pointing who Curly was before the crash and what he stood for.
So much of what we saw of Curly was a man on duty, a man serving under his job and starting to find conflict with that. We don’t really get to see Curly acting for himself and it think it tells about the way he has been molded along with the way he was trying to reshape himself outside of P.E before it was too late.
I always finding intriguing how people almost prefer to draw post crash Curly, to draw his suffering and continue, to an extent, him being the scapegoat, faceless and facing repercussions other characters and entities should. Being a figure to vent frustration to because he can’t fight back, we don’t know what he would say or how he would feel or what he would’ve done. We don’t really know that when he had skin either…
#it’s easy to assume and project a lot of aspects on to curly because he’s purposely kept as blank as possible while still being relatable so#we can be tricked like the crew into thinking he could’ve crashed the ship but we learn as the game goes on even with so little#he is not that type of guy and I hate takes that ignore or use Jimmy’s unreliable narration#and warping of scenes he is in to try to characterize Curly accurately as it shows a double standard when people believe someone deserves#punishment like none of their conversations are mutually beneficial or naturally they are stiff#one sided as Jimmy gets way more out of it or steers it in a way his projection takes forefront#we don’t get Curly’s true insights outside of the dissociative episode and him running around trying to placate Anya and Jimmy#literally the split between his personal and professional life but way more muddled as it is indistinguishable atp#I hate when people use Jimmy’s words to create accurate depictions for him as he projections and warps the perceptions of Curly just as much#if not equally as he does Anya but whatever we can apprently only talk about one theme for a complex story and never play with ideas that#are seen in real life so fuck me ig#mouthwashing#captain curly#curly mouthwashing#ask#anon#mouthwashing game
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ultimately i will always be fine being the mean nasty problematic aro cause guess what. you bitches wouldn't like me if i was the sweetest most niceys guy on earth either. so i think i will just make posts about my frustration with allo people without censoring myself for the sake of mollifying some bitter losers on an ego trip with nothing better to do
#for real if you're on the internet pushing ace exclusionism in the year of our lord 2023 i am laughing SO hard at you#this long and you STILL haven't gotten a life? jesus christ. what a pathetic tragedy#anyway tee hee i love receiving hate anons negative attention is still attention#talking#aromantic#aromanticism#arospec#aspec
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hey i know your post about your mom was mostly just a personal vent, but i have to say, do you realize that also happens with trans girls and their fathers? literally happened to one of my friends. i’m not trying to downplay your experience or something but i found it strange that you seem to think this is something that only affects transmascs
i have one question for you: so fucking what?
i don’t doubt that trans girls have experienced similar things and yeah, that’s bad too, but what the fuck does that have to do with me and the specific things i’m facing as a result of being a trans man? i never said “look at this thing that happens to ONLY trans men and NO ONE ELSE,” i just said “hey, isn’t this thing that happens to a lot of trans men, including myself, fucked up?”
i would also like to point out that what you’re talking about is in fact a different (albeit similar) thing. the way cis people treat trans people can differ dramatically based on the cis person’s gender because their commitment to gender roles is, like, a major part of problem. the specific way a cis mother reacts to her trans son’s transition is often going to be very distinct, while a cis father will likely respond to his trans daughter in a different but equally distinct way.
what i’m talking about is a very specific kind of ownership and control and self-victimization and total lack of boundaries masquerading as love and care and maternal concern that cis women (i would argue white cis women in particular) project onto their transmasc kids when we do literally anything to our bodies. i’m talking about a phenomenon which is closely related to the way moms often pass eating disorders onto their daughters (or children they view as daughters) because they see a body that looks something like theirs and project all of their insecurities and ideals onto it. i’m talking about a form of parental transphobia and projection that’s specific to the dynamic of a cis mother and her child who was “supposed to” be her daughter.
if you’ve never felt that, you’re not even remotely qualified to tell me shit about how i should be talking about that experience, and if you couldn’t recognize that experience when you read my post, i’m guessing you probably haven’t experienced it because the replies to that post made it very clear to me that anyone who has experienced it firsthand immediately knew exactly what i meant.
like, yeah, cis dads also project onto their trans daughters, but are they likely to have a reaction like running away with actual tears streaming down their face? do you expect them to passive aggressively make comments about how sad their kid’s transition makes them, how it’s such a difficult emotional time, how it’s so tragic because their kid’s body was so beautiful before? do you think their go-to transphobic reaction will be weaponizing their emotions? i’m sure there are some dads out there who are like that, but i think we can agree they’re in the minority because that’s not how cis men are taught to react and parents like this tend to be pretty damn committed to following the gender roles they were taught.
and even if i’m wrong and our experiences are exactly the same, let me reiterate that i never said this was an experience exclusive to trans men. all i said is that it happens to us. that’s just a statement of objective fact.
this started in my life when i got my hair cut short for the first time almost a decade ago and it has not stopped since. i’ve watched my mom cry over me changing my name and respond to being asked if my happiness matters more to her than my name by saying “i care about both”, i’ve watched her melt down in a mall over me getting a suit for prom and give me the silent treatment for days after, i’ve heard her plead with me to stop t because it “looks unnatural” and she’s just so “concerned for my health”, i’ve watched her stare at me post-op and say “my poor baby” over and over like she’s looking at my corpse in a casket. i’ve watched her turn herself into the victim of every single aspect of my transition. i’ve had to live with this for 9 years and spent the early years of the pandemic literally locked in a house with it. this has been my entire adolescent and adult life, and the question of if i’ll have to cut her off someday (and maybe never see my cat or my little cousins who i love more than anything in the world ever again as a result) haunts me every single day.
who the fuck are you to tell me how to talk about that?
#i hope you weren’t expecting me to take this in good faith and give a nice measured response#because just so we’re clear you didn’t have a chance in hell of doing anything other than pissing me off#like in case you forgot i am a real person who this is happening to#in what world did you think i’d care about how an anonymous stranger feels about how i describe it when im the one who has to live it#idk man. some of y’all clearly do not see me as an actual person capable of emotion and it shows#also like. using a friend’s experience is wild bc 1) how do you know it was the same if it didn’t happen to you#and 2) would that friend really want you using their experience against another trans person experiencing something similar?#anon hate#ask answered#examples of transandrophobia#transandrophobia#transandromisia#transmisandry#virilmisia#virilphobia#anti transmasculinity#transmascphobia#trans men
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They finally did it everybody they said the thing!!!!!!!
"How much do you love Charles Xavier?"
"HOW DARE YOU ASK ME SUCH A QUESTION???!!!??!!?!!??!!??!!!"
HE SAID THE THING !!!!!!!!!!
#snap chats#top five most famous moments in cherik history congratulations anon im glad youve seen it in real time ...#i should rewatch that episode. and the christmas one. and evolution's christmas episode...#i wanted to doodle a silly comic about 92's christmas ep <- has been wanting to do this since like what october#i dont think ill be able to do it ... so tragic....#anyways this moment is still peak to me i gotta watcht this scene again AT LEAST#i think i got it in my twitter bookmark underneath like. ninety bullshit posts vJAELKVJAERKLJ#i at least know the timestamp on the actual ep so ... 'snap you know the timestamp' i know the timestamp i am severely unwell#i have an addiction to being able to quote exact sources for things. oops.#my eye is so fucking itchy guys my baby lady darling dearest gave me lovely kisses but she does not know i am greatly allergic to her#it is worth it tho ... is this not what love is ... enduring the worst to cherish trhe bestt ... my fucking. EYE#also wait yk whats funny. so my favorite poison ring's like latch was weird#it was just really flimsy so the ring would keep flapping open but i dropped it today#and now its fixed. make it make sense i hate science
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Drabble Prompt: Post-canon Levi, struggling with chronic pain and mourning his dead loved ones, being visited by his still alive loved ones
Anon, you knew how to talk pretty to me <3
hihi requests are still open btw
I feel like I gotta put a disclaimer or something lmao. So, the length of my drabble requests is usually something between 100-400 words. This request is just an incredibly unexpected exception. it just happened to fit into this idea I already had been thinking of, which was how the remaining 104th would ask Levi to be part of important events in their lives because well, they like the dude lmao, so expect that sort of one-shot soon. Additionally, since I kept reminding myself that this was supposed to be a drabble, I might have glossed over the chronic pain and mourning bits so I'm sorry about that ;;
that being said, 2.4k words of Levi and Gabi be upon ye <3
Now on Ao3!
The angry hissing of the kettle makes him flinch. It brings a loud ringing to his right ear. Instinctively, he places his right hand over it, and gives his ear a couple of gentle taps; it's more of a grounding gesture, a distraction from the buzzing. He usually keeps watch over the kettle, so that he can lower the heat just right before it gets a chance to scream at him.
He realises then that he must have spaced out while waiting. It’s alright, he thinks. It’s been like that a lot, recently. He’s been like that. Lost in thought-- lost in time, if he allowed himself to be precise. The last days, weeks even, as the temperatures started to drop, blended into each other. There’s a little calendar on his bedside table, it had been a birthday gift from Armin – or had that been Mikasa’s? He isn’t sure, he had received an absurd number of presents from the kids last year, it had been hard to keep track of who gave him what and now the fact escaped him. Turning the pages of the little calendar, with its delicate botanical illustrations on each day, quickly became part of his morning routine, and so he was sure that time was passing at all. The stillness of the routine, he guesses, made him like this.
His vision blurs momentarily while he scoops the tea leaves into the teapot. He squints, trying to will his good eye to focus, but all he gets in return is a throb in his right eye. After putting the tea canister away, he presses the inner sides of his wrists to both eyes, placing just enough pressure to relieve the discomfort. When he opens his eyes again, he is pleased to find he can read the small print on the canister an arm’s length away.
There’s a loud slam coming from the front of the house, followed by footsteps coming further into the house.
He quickly recognizes the heavy stomping as Gabi’s gait. She’s always been so loud.
Gabi crosses the arch into the small kitchen and dining area.
“Don’t slam my doors,” he says as a greeting, slowly turning his head to his left side, trying to catch a glimpse of her in his periphery.
“Aye, aye,” the kid waves her hand, shoots him a teasing grin, “someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.”
Levi hums in response but doesn’t say anything else. He busies himself with placing everything they need for their morning tea and coffee on a metal tray on the counter, which Gabi takes from him as soon as it’s ready and sets it on the table.
He grabs his cane from where he had hooked it on one of the kitchen drawers. He has been leaning against the counter, his right leg supporting most of his weight all this time. He braces himself for the sharp pain that will surely surge from his bad knee, through his left hip and up his spine. Cold mornings like this one and being still in one place for long will do that to him. It’s not so bad. It could be worse.
It takes 4 steps to get from the stove to his chair, which Gabi has already pulled out for him. It sits at an angle that allows him to easily slide down on it and rest his right elbow on top of the table, leaning back and against his good side.
“I have something that will cheer you up,” she holds a couple of envelopes in her hand and waves them at him, “You’ve got mail!”
He nods at her in acknowledgement but does not take his attention away from preparing his first batch of tea of the day. There’s a ritual to it, it almost feels like, and he doesn’t want to mess it up. Not when the ringing in his ear is still there, the building pressure in the upper back part of his eyeballs, and the cold air seeping into his bones through his thick jumper. Oh, how he needs a good cup of tea right now.
While Levi waits for it to steep, he grabs the papers that she had shoved in his face, squints his eyes at the first envelope and finds that he is unable to make out much of the handwriting. He brings it closer to his face, squints harder, steals a quick glance across the table and hopes Gabi isn’t paying him any mind, too preoccupied with choosing from the bag of pastries she brought with her. It is with an impassive expression that he hands the stack of envelopes back.
“Read it for me.” A beat and then he adds, a little reluctant: “Please.”
He knows Gabi prefers coffee in the mornings, and black tea in the evenings, so he makes sure to have a fresh brew of the former whenever he knows she’s coming over; so, with shaky hands, Levi gets to prepare her cup of coffee. While he enjoys the aroma of it, he remains faithful to tea; at first, he thought he didn’t like it because he had butchered his first attempts at brewing it. But even after Onyankopon had taught him how to do it properly and he had enjoyed his cup, it didn’t bring the same comfort as tea. It just never hit the spot.
She shoots him a mischievous grin, “Oh, you sure? What if I read something personal, hm?”
Levi just shakes his head, scoffing at the idea of Gabi finding his junk mail fascinating.
“Is this how I find out you have a secret lover you’re exchanging raunchy love letters with?” Gabi teases, wiggling her eyebrows at him.
He lets out a tired sigh and rolls his eyes, “just wanna be done with it, ” he stirs the milk into Gabi’s coffee, which now has turned into a cup of milk with coffee. “We have a lot to prepare for tonight.”
She clicks her tongue at him, but still rips the first envelope open, “Mr. Levi, your reading won’t improve if you keep doing that,” she jokingly scolds him.
Although Levi mentally recognises handing her and Falco stuff he couldn’t be bothered reading before, that’s not the case this time. He’ll let her think that for now, though, because he doesn’t want to mention the pressure building in the back of his bad eye, it’s not important and she, a kid, doesn’t need to know his newly found ailment of the week. He can see just fine around him right now. He can see Gabi’s big eyes and playful smile at the other side of the table, and that’s good enough; smaller details, he doesn’t feel he can do them, not without making himself go dizzy with a migraine.
Levi slides the cup of coffee to her and is pleased with himself when she approves of the colour of her drink.
“It’s from Armin,” she announces as she scans the letter.
From this angle, the soft morning light illuminating her face and thanks to his faulty vision, Gabi’s image stirs his memory. His heart faintly constricts as he is reminded of the many times Hange read their research reports to him during breakfast in the mess hall before presenting them to Erwin. Levi always wondered how they could read so fast, sometimes he even doubted they were actually reading at all, their words barely being able to catch up with her eyes; he never asked about it, maybe reading came easy to them as numbers did to him.
A high-pitched squeal from Gabi startles him, bringing him back to the here and now.
“Oh… ohh, Mr. Levi,” she starts, her smile widening by the second “This is good news!”
Gabi makes a show of clearing her throat and then starts reading “Dear Captain, I hope this letter finds you well and in good health.”
Levi can’t help but let a sardonic huff at the irony of the greetings but doesn’t let himself be bothered by it. He has written only a handful of personal letters throughout his life, and by now he knows it’s just something you’re supposed to say because jumping straight to the point isn’t acceptable, or so that’s what he had been told.
Gabi continues reading Armin’s words to him. For the most part, it’s a standard letter coming from him: he asks Levi how he’s dealing with the changing of the seasons, how Gabi and Falco are faring, if business at the tea shop has been good, if there’s anything Levi needs that he can’t get in town so that Armin or the others can get it for him. He tells him a little about the country he’s writing from, he even includes a photograph. Then, after the expected pleasantries, Gabi can barely hold her excitement and starts reading faster, trying so hard not to trip over her words.
“If I’m being sincere, we would prefer to ask you in person,” Gabi stops for a second to look up at him from the paper, gauging for a reaction and finding nothing, she continues.
Armin apologises for not being able to visit him before the holidays, Annie included, and so it is implied that he won’t be attending tonight’s reunion.
Sometime during the last five years, the Alliance brats had decided to make showing up at Levi’s doorstep together once a year a sort of custom; the first time it happened was during an early winter, a blizzard had stopped them from leaving Levi’s until the next morning. It had been a really nice evening despite the awful weather, Levi remembers, after everyone pitched in one way or another, they all shared a simple but hearty meal together. It was Connie who jokingly said they should do it every year. The following year, Onyankopon, Gabi and Falco joined them.
This year would be their fourth, and the first someone wouldn’t make it. That fact sits heavily in Levi’s chest, stealing the spotlight from his throbbing eye.
“...Annie and I have decided to get married. The both of us would like you to officiate our ceremony!” unable to contain her excitement, she tears her eyes away from the paper and looks at Levi. “Huh?! This is good news! What’s with the constipated face?!”
That doesn’t sound right. It figures that Annie and Armin would be the first to marry; in a way, he is happy for them, they clearly care for each other. No, that part is easy to understand. Their union is logical to anyone who knows the couple. What Levi can’t figure out is why they are asking him such a thing.
He clears his throat, assumes it’s been 3 minutes and his tea is ready to be poured and so he distracts himself with that.
When he doesn’t answer Gabi, she picks up where she left off.
He isn’t… well, he isn’t that close to either of them. He’s sure Annie must have other relatives that could step in his stead. Maybe a brother, a cousin. Even Jean or Reiner would be better options than Levi. He isn’t good with words or people like they are, he couldn’t possibly give them a speech about something foreign to him as it is that kind of love, that’s what people expect, right? His title of Captain is obsolete in this new world, so it can’t be that either. Hell, he has never been to a fucking wedding.
Just… why him?
As expected, Armin doesn’t really go into the details of their choice but does let Levi know they do not expect a fast answer and that they do not want him to feel pressured to accept it, despite how much it would mean to them if he did. Armin asks if there’s anything in particular that he would like for his birthday, as it is a month away, and closes the letter by saying he looks forward to seeing him and everyone then.
When the letter is closed and put back into its envelope, silence falls around them. For a moment the only sound that can be heard is the clinking of tableware as Levi places the teacup back on its saucer.
It bothers him, that he knows he will be letting Armin down by refusing something that any other well-adapted person would consider an honour. But the thought of embarrassing him and himself, because he gave an awkward, most likely insensitive, speech, mortifies him. No, he can’t put them and their guests through that. He will find a way to make it up to the couple, maybe he can… he doesn’t know yet, but he will come up with something.
As he finishes his first cup, Levi realises that at some point while he was lost in thought, the ringing in his ear has subsided and now it’s back to that muffled, cotton-in-ear sensation he’s used to and he doesn’t feel his eyeball pulsating anymore. Glancing at Gabi, he notices she is trying really hard not to say something, her brow furrowed as she takes a sip of her own drink, followed by a big bite of her pastry. Flakes stick to the corner of her mouth and for once it doesn’t disgust him. Instead, it makes his lips twitch as if going into a smile.
“I can help you... if you want,” she says eventually, sounding uncharacteristically careful and small of her.
Levi quirks an eyebrow “Help? with what?”
She shrugs, “How to… tell them you don’t want to,” she avoids looking at him for the first time, finding the flakes on her plate more interesting. She shrugs again and tilts her head to the side, a thin line of a smile appearing on her face. “...or prepare for the ceremony.”
Not unlike many times before, Gabi’s words render him speechless, if only for a moment. He spares his tea a glance and he thinks: it’s bold of her to be so upfront about offering her help to him, and had it been any other morning, one where he couldn’t think past the constant ache in his body, he would’ve chewed her head off for simply trying to help him because he himself doesn’t know how to accept that kindness.
This kid is trying her best and he can’t help but feel somewhat proud of that.
“You have shit on your face. Here,” he points to where the flakes would sit on his own face and picks his refilled teacup back up.
Gabi quickly wipes her mouth with the back of her hand, getting most of the flakes off. Levi gives her a thumbs-up with his free hand.
“I’ll think about it,” he finally concedes and tries to ignore the little happy dance she does in her seat.
This time, when the amber liquid touches his lips, it’s remarkably sweeter than before.
#drabble request#aot#snk#levi#levi ackerman#gabi braun#gabi#post-war levi#armin mentioned lmao#please tell me which tags to add so that all my fellow post war levi enthusiast find this aaaaa#Girl dad levi you'll always be famous#second disclaimer english isn't my first language and I haven't written seriously in well over a year#I am like really nervous about posting this one ngl lads#but we persevere like the captain#no beta just me myself and I and like 2 hours of screaming I hate proof-reading but like I'm too self-conscious to just let it be#spoilers in the next tag >>#third disclaimer: iirc the whole captain officiating marriages isn't real but this is fiction and I do what I want#and I just think it would be cute if levi accepted even if for just a symbolic ceremony and not the real-deal yk?!#how to get rid of your chronic pain by levi; just overwhelm yourself by overthinking social scenarios#anywusssyyy let me know your thoughts#I'll probably post this on ao3 because it do be a decent length for it#we'll see#okay byeeeee#i hope you enjoy it anon and thank you for your patience I'm placing a big smooch on your forehead tysm fo sending such an exquisite prompt#I forgot to put the read more like the fool I am#if you saw the original post no u didn't <3
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