#you and your family. and then i am covering it up completely to ensure that no one - least of all you - will ever know they exist.

[cxrrodedcoffin]

☆ 𝐎𝐧 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐮𝐧 ☆

Vigilante Older!Rafe Cameron x Fem!Reader (Part 1/3)

𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐠𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠!

𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐲 𝐚𝐛𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐮𝐭𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥𝐬 @bloodibambiidoll @babygorewhore 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬, 𝐢 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡!! ໒꒰ྀི˶˃ᆺ˂˶ ꒱ྀིა ᯓᡣ𐭩

𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐛𝐨𝐚𝐫𝐝♡

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: dom!rafe, older!rafe, age gap (rafe’s mid 40’s, reader is mid 20’s), established relationship, murder, mentions of past abuse, mentions of missing persons & kidnapping, handcuffs, condescension, praise, reader isn’t a virgin but experiences a couple firsts, daddy kink, breast play, oral sex fem receiving, fingering, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, pull out method, doggy style, overstimulation, squirting, pet names (doll, baby, babydoll, princess, sugar), rafe’s a smartass with a heart of gold, he talks you through it

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 4.8k

Rafe Cameron was your neighbor. That’s all he was ever supposed to be, but three weeks ago when he broke down your front door after hearing your pained screams echoing down the secluded street, everything changed. He held no hesitation in beating your abusive boyfriend to a bloody pulp, and by the time you had regained awareness of your surroundings, Rafe was dragging you out of the house, leaving your boyfriend’s lifeless body to rot in the house you once called home.

You’d had your flirtations in the past, in fact, that’s what you and your boyfriend had been arguing about before he tried to kill you that night. He saw the way you looked at Rafe, knew you had a crush on him, and his brain made the jump that you must have been sleeping with him. It’s not like you hadn’t thought about it back when you were single, he was classically handsome, but he was also twenty years your senior, and you surely would’ve been the talk of figure eight if the two of you had actually started seeing each other, so you’d resigned yourself of that idea a long time ago.

When Rafe took your hand and dragged you behind him out of that house you didn’t have any urge to try and run from him, it was like you knew he was doing what was best for the both of you. You followed behind him the entire time he spent scrambling to gather things around his house, packing up the most important parts of his private life inside an old duffel bag and pulling several large stacks of cash out of his safe before running with you in tow to the body shop down the road to hotwire the most inconspicuous car there. You were ready to go, to leave your mundane life behind if it meant being with him like you’d spent many sleepless nights fantasizing about.

There were many pressing issues at hand, tasks that needed to be completed to ensure you wouldn’t be caught. You needed aliases, a story to cover your tracks as you drove cross country to evade arrest, and what Rafe suggested after hours of contemplation made your heart skip a beat.

“If anyone asks what we’re doing on the road, I’m your dad, and we’re going to visit family, got that?” His left hand held strong atop the steering wheel, the strength of his grip making the veins in his forearm particularly prominent in that moment. You swallowed, eyes wide as he took his eyes off of the road for a split second to see you slowly nodding your head in understanding.

“Like anyone’s going to believe I’m your kid.” You joked, your voice cracking despite your efforts to disguise how flustered the thought of calling him dad made you.

“Believe it or not babydoll, I am actually old enough to be your dad. I doubt anyone will think it's that far-fetched of an idea.”

“We don’t even look alike.” You scoffed, turning to watch the expanse of technicolor trees climbing the mountain side directly out your window.

“No one’s gonna be paying attention to our family resemblance if we stay under the radar, just keep your pretty mouth shut and you won’t have to worry about it.”

That thought was the only one you could conjure for the next two hours on the road until Rafe pulled into the parking lot of a seedy old motel so the two of you could get some much needed rest. He had to go out for gas and to buy a change of clothes for you and him at the truck stop down the road the next morning, shaking you out of your slumber to drag you to the closet and handcuff you to the hanger rod in the small closet.

“Now don’t think I don’t trust you babydoll, I do, but these are an insurance policy in case that silly little mind of yours decides to go all rational on me, understand?” He locked the first cuff around your wrist before looping the chain over the bar and securing your other one, leaving you to struggle against the metal.

“C’mon Dad, just take me with you.” You teasingly pleaded, pushing your chest out as you tried to take a step toward him.

“Can’t, it’ll look suspicious if we’re with each other all the time. You have to stay here and I gotta get this done so we can get back on the road. I’ll be back in twenty minutes tops.” He left you there, slamming the motel room door behind him as a silent threat to be good. You did, staying in place and stirring over how you could manage to take this whole dad thing further to push Rafe’s buttons as much as you could. You were getting bored. As much fun as running from the law was, the miles of highway and generic gas stations and fast food places were starting to meld together into one monotonous blob in your head, and you wanted some good old fashioned entertainment. You made a plan, figuring you’d slowly execute it over the next few days.

The next thing on your fugitive checklist was a change in appearance. You dyed and cut your hair in a truck stop bathroom after a couple days of driving, knowing your face and signature long locks were likely all over broadcast television at that point. Rafe, on the other hand, wasn’t too keen on the idea of chopping off his beloved mullet. He’d grown accustomed to it, spent twenty years perfecting the length and cut to his liking, but he knew he had to part ways with it if it meant keeping you. He hadn’t had a buzz cut in decades, not since his early twenties, and he wasn’t sure how it would suit his more mature features, but your words of encouragement gave him the push he needed to grab the electric clippers and head for a mirror.

When he finally walked out of that old motel bathroom, you had to bite back a moan. He was hot before, no doubt about it, but with the buzzcut? You wondered what it would be like to feel that peach fuzz against your palms as you pushed his face further into your pussy.

“Thoughts?” He studied the look on your face, that glint of something desperate in your eyes as the corners of your mouth pulled into a soft smile.

“I love it! Very dilf of you.” You beamed, giggling to yourself while shifting to your knees on the creaky old motel bed as he closed the space between you.

“You realize you just implied you want to fuck me, right?” He folded his arms over his chest, toned biceps framing firm pecs and you had to swallow back a groan at the sight.

“I know exactly what I was implying, Dad.” You pulled him closer by the bottom of his shirt, the look of amusement on his stubbled face only emboldening you further.

He stood at the side of the bed, looking down at you as your hands found the back of his neck, rubbing over the soft patch of hair at the nape just to feel the velvety smooth texture for a moment. The sound of the nightly news droning on the television across the room quickly became drowned out by the white noise of both of your bated breaths. You couldn’t take it anymore, all the stolen glances and unspoken tension. You needed him, now.

“Rafe, please.” The words came out like a whine, more needy than you’d intended.

“Please, what?” He cocked his head to the side, the corners of his lips pulling into an inquisitive smirk.

“You know what.” Your hands moved over his shoulders and down to his chest, fingertips ghosting over his shirt.

“I need to hear you ask for it. I’ve made a lot of fucked up choices in my life and my morals may not be that sound but I do have some that I won’t compromise on. I need to know I’m not taking advantage of you.” He took your wrists in his hands, stalling your movements until you made eye contact with him.

“I may be young but I know what I want, Rafe. I’ve wanted to fuck you since the day I moved in next to you.” He wasn’t exactly surprised by your bluntness, but hearing those words in your angelic voice still threatened to knock the wind out of him.

“Fuck, baby, you’re breaking my heart here. You know how many times I fought the urge to knock on your door and just flat out ask to taste your sweet pussy?” He dropped your wrists, instinctively going to run his right hand through his hair only to be reminded he’d just buzzed it all for you.

“God, Rafe, I wish you would’ve, we could’ve avoided this whole thing.” You sighed, hands returning to his chest as you looked almost painfully into his tired eyes. There was so much built up energy between the two of you, emotional and sexual, and as a tear slipped down your cheek, all Rafe could think about was how pretty you’d look crying with his cock in your mouth.

“If we were still back in Kildare I’d be showing you off all over town, making every one of those little frat boy assholes jealous with you on my arm.” His tone dipped an octave as his rough hand met your cheek, brushing the tear away. His eyes bore into yours until you looked down to his chest to hide your flattered blush.

“I’ve wanted to pull the goddamn car over and pound you into the backseat on the side of the highway for three weeks.” He exhaled as he spoke and something broke inside of you, a chain snapping to let you finally crash your lips against his. It was crushing, all plush lips and slipping tongues, small gasps for air as your hands groped at one another, pulling at fabric until you’d both managed to discard your shirts.

“You’ve really been hiding these from me this whole time, sugar?” He sighed, large hands groping your breasts over your thin lace bralette.

“I wasn’t hiding anything, it’s not my fault I’ve been living in baggy truck stop shirts for weeks.” You shot back, arching into his touch despite your attitude.

“Didn’t know you had slutty little things like this on underneath ‘em.” He snapped the thin strap against your shoulder, taking note of the way you mewled in response to the short sting the action caused.

“I don’t want to talk anymore Rafe, just fuck me, please.” You whined, your hands haphazardly undoing his belt to allow his worn jeans to fall to the ground.

“That’s not how I do things, babydoll. We’re gonna talk until I say otherwise.“ He paused his movements for a moment, looking into your eyes and it took everything in you not to avert your gaze. You didn’t know why you suddenly felt so intimidated by him, you’d been firing back snarky remarks at him for weeks, what was turning you into this shy thing all of a sudden?

You just nodded, eager for him to keep going. He hesitated, narrowing his eyes for a moment before resigning to continuing his efforts to pull your bralette over your head, finally fully exposing your breasts. He flashed you a smile before pressing a kiss to your lips, gentle at first before devolving into something more hungry, his teeth grazing over your bottom lip as he made his way down to your neck. Your hands found their way to his hips, palming his half-hard cock through his briefs and the low groan that grumbled up from his chest made you reach for the waistband. His hands wrapped around your wrists, halting your movements as he pulled away from your neck, his face only a few inches from yours.

“Slow down, doll. I’m not losing out on the opportunity to see what makes you tick just because you’re impatient.” He chided, holding your wrists together with one hand while he opened the bedside table drawer to search for something.

“I thought guys didn’t like this foreplay stuff.” You sighed, trying to see what he was reaching for.

“That what your little boyfriend told you?” He pulled the handcuffs from the other day out of the drawer, clicking one cuff around your left wrist before moving your arms behind you, securing your right wrist in the remaining cuff.

”You’re gonna learn real fast how good this ‘foreplay shit’ can be for the both of us. I’m going to talk you through every last thing I do and you’re going to tell me exactly how it makes you feel.” The look on his face was serious, not a hint of insincerity in sight, and yet, you couldn’t quite believe what was being demanded of you.

“You want to hear me?” You clarified, the innocence and underlying hurt in your voice almost sending Rafe into another blind rage over how your boyfriend had been treating you before he took care of him.

“I need to, that pretty voice is what keeps me going every day.” Rafe wasn’t usually so sappy, that snarky attitude of his running rampant for as long as you had known him, but there was something about the softness you held underneath that opinionated exterior that made him want to be soft with you. You could go toe to toe with him in sarcasm any day, but he wanted to meet you in that softness you didn’t show very often. He continued his position at the curve of your jaw, leaving open mouthed kisses across your skin that made it feel like he would devour you whole if given the opportunity.

“You’re purring like a kitten and I’ve barely touched you.” You could feel his smirk against your skin along with the cockiness in his tone and as much as you wanted to retaliate, put him in his place, you couldn’t find the words. He was impossibly good, each nip and suck of his lips and teeth down the column of your neck drawing quickened breath and needy whimpers from your kiss-bitten lips.

He continued the trail down to your collarbone, ghosting his lips over your skin as his hand splayed out over your stomach, gently pushing until you took the hint and laid back on the bed. You could feel your cuffed hands digging into you, repositioning them to sit in the curve of your lower back, the slight discomfort quickly falling to the wayside as Rafe’s mouth returned to your chest, plush lips wrapping around your right nipple. His fingers found the left, brushing rough fingertips over your sensitive bud as he sucked softly, movements working in tandem to draw as much sound from you as possible.

You stretched your legs, thighs absentmindedly spreading to allow him space to slot his toned thigh between them as he continued to shower your breasts with attention, marking your skin with bruising kisses and tweaking your nipples until you couldn’t help but moan his name.

“So sensitive babydoll, you like when daddy plays with your tits?” He pulled away from your chest, shifting so his face was above yours, his pupils blown with desire as he took in the sight of you all worked up for the first time.

“Mhm.” Your face flushed at the bluntness, his confidence and curiosity such an interesting change of pace from the men you’d been with before.

“Speak up.” His playful tone turned serious again, his hands moving to your hips as he pulled your hips to the end of the bed, your clothed cunt pressed against the thick of his bare thigh. You gasped as he flexed the muscles in his thigh, rocking against your aching clit through your increasingly wet panties.

“I’m not him, princess. Let me hear you.” He gently gripped your chin, forcing you to look at him as he brought his movements to a halt, watching your face drop in disappointment from the lack of friction.

“I didn’t know it could feel like this, I love it, Rafe.” Your voice held a slight tremble as you forced yourself to share your thoughts, still so unfamiliar with the notion that a man could want to know how you’re feeling.

“God am I glad I killed that piece of shit. He didn’t fuckin’ deserve you.” He sighed, a hint of pride lacing his low tone as he ran his hands over your sides, feeling every curve of your body as he slowly dropped to his knees beside the bed. He slid his hands over your hips beneath the fabric of your underwear, pulling the thin cotton slowly down your legs.

“Look at me.” He waited for you to carefully prop yourself up on your elbows, the cuffs digging into your wrists from the angle. His eyes held your gaze in an almost intimidating stare, his hands moving to rest on your thighs.

“You ever had your pussy eaten baby?” His question caught you off guard despite how obvious it seemed given his current position, and you were sure he already knew the answer from the look on your face.

“N-no, every guy I’ve been with said it was gross.” As soon as the statement hit Rafe’s ears he could feel that anger rise to another level, the need to make you forget about every shitty guy you’d been with stronger than ever.

“Where are you finding these assholes? I’ll kill the rest of them too, just say the word.” His tone was lighthearted but you knew from the look on his face that he was the furthest thing from joking. You laughed him off, your attention pulling to his hands finally pushing your thighs apart, making space for him to slot his broad shoulders between your legs.

“Rafe, you don’t have to.” You tried to pull your legs together but to no avail, the action only spurring him on. He hooked his hands underneath your thighs, pushing your knees up to your chest to give him full access to your cunt.

“No shit, I want to. Need you to keep your eyes on me so you can see how much I’m enjoying tasting your sweet pussy.” He locked eyes with you as he dipped his head lower, watching the way your brow furrowed and a soft gasp left your lips when he gave the first drag of his tongue through your folds. He smiled briefly before diving back in, lapping hungrily at your dripping entrance before sucking softly at your clit, the way your thighs tensed under his grip a physical indication of how much you were enjoying it.

He glanced up at you, watching the way your bottom lip quivered with every whimper and moan of his name in response to his tongue expertly flicking over your clit. His right hand slowly slid down from your thigh, his pointer and middle finger prodding teasingly at your entrance before sinking into your wet heat, the new sensation making you buck your hips against him. He pumped steadily in and out of you, massaging your walls with each flex of his fingers as he pulled his mouth off of you.

“How does it feel babydoll? Everything you hoped it would be?” He smirked at you and you had to fight the urge to laugh at the almost ridiculous question. You knew he knew how good he was making you feel, and yet he still wanted you to stroke his ego. He sure was living up to the reputation he held back on Kildare, that’s for sure.

“Yes, fuck, it’s so good, just keep going, please.” You sighed in frustration, desperate to have his mouth on you again. He had the nerve to laugh, but you couldn’t find it in you to call him out on it, just relieved to see him lowering his head back down to your cunt.

He wasted no time, flicking over your clit at an impossibly quick pace, his fingers curling up to hit that soft spot inside of you until you were throwing your head back, barely able to support yourself anymore as your elbows gave out behind you, falling back against the mattress as your thighs began to tremble. He wrapped his lips around your clit, humming in satisfaction as he felt your walls clamp down around his fingers, the sound of his name falling from your lips in a desperate cry like music to his ears.

He continued lapping gently at your cunt, working you through your orgasm until he could slowly slip his fingers from you, his digits coated in your cum. He waited for you to catch your breath, taking a moment to recover before propping yourself back up on your elbows, looking down at him through half lidded eyes. As soon as your eyes met his he brought his fingers to his mouth, sucking your slick off of them slowly, savoring the taste. Your lips parted in a small gasp, barely even audible, seeing him enjoy going down on you just as much as you had enjoyed it.

He rose to his feet, putting his erection right at your eye level and your small gasp turned into something much more substantial, the sound drawing Rafe’s attention.

“Did that really turn you on that much?” You squeaked out, your voice much more unsteady than you intended it to be.

“I told you it would be good for both of us, I don’t lie about shit like that.” He took a step toward the edge of the bed, His thumbs slipping into the waistband of his underwear before pulling it down, his weighty cock slapping against his thigh as he did so. You bit your lip, watching him wrap his hand around the base of his shaft before tapping the tip against your sensitive clit, the action sending a jolt of pleasure straight to the coil in the pit of your stomach. He rubbed his shaft through your folds, coating himself in your wetness as he watched your expression change from confusion to curiosity to desperation.

“Feel that? It’s all for you, babydoll.” He leaned forward, his face only a few inches above yours as he continued rubbing himself against your cunt, teasingly brushing over your clit in a way that had you squirming and silently begging for more.

“What, baby? What do you need?” He asked, feigning ignorance to what he knew he was doing to you. This was the longest any of your sexual encounters had lasted and he wasn’t even inside of you yet.

“Need you inside of me, please.” You whined, trying to shift your hips to position him lower. He took hold of your hips, stopping your efforts before abruptly flipping you onto your stomach in the middle of the bed, your head almost hanging off the end. You felt the mattress shift under his weight as he positioned himself behind you, pulling your hips up to meet his so you were kneeling before him. Your cuffed wrists made it impossible for you to lift your upper half without assistance, your face and breasts resting against the mattress with your cunt on full display.

“Bet your shitty little boyfriends never showed you how to do anything other than missionary, that right?” You whimpered out a soft “yeah” as you pushed your hips back, feeling his head bump your entrance for a moment before he pushed fully into you, slow enough to allow you to get used to the angle but not torturously slow. He was over playing games now, all he wanted was to show you what you’d been missing with every man who wasn’t him. Your eyes rolled back, the unfamiliar angle stimulating your sensitive walls in ways you’d never experienced before. He steadily increased his pace, his balls slapping against your clit with every slam of his hips, that familiar pressure building impossibly quickly.

“Who’s that pretty girl on the tv? She looks awfully familiar.” His voice pulled your attention away from your impending orgasm for just a moment just as he took hold of the handcuffs and pulled your arms back, putting the tv right in your line of sight. The image that flashed before you made your stomach flip, a group of three photos of you with your physical traits and last known whereabouts listed beside them as the news anchor read off a teleprompter, “Nationwide search for missing Kildare, North Carolina woman continues as police expand their search into three new states.”

Your eyes glossed over, the sight all too surreal and the feeling of his cock hitting places so deep inside of you that you weren’t even sure they existed before this very moment too much as every nerve ending in your body erupted in euphoria, the strained cry of pleasure that ripped from your throat almost drowning out the news broadcast.

“You like seeing your missing poster plastered everywhere? Want everyone to know I own you now?” He teased, continuing to fuck into you as you mumbled incoherently in response, too fucked out to form a proper response.

“Listen to that, they’re saying I kidnapped you, callin’ me a monster. If only they could see how good I’m making you feel right now babydoll, how good your daddy’s making you feel.” His words pierced through your post orgasm haze, pressure starting to build in your tummy again.

“Oh my god, daddy, it’s too much, I can’t, please!” You begged, overwhelmed by the pleasure still coursing through your body as he brought you closer and closer to another orgasm with every thrust, his remarks only spurring you on.

“I know you can baby, your pussy’s gripping me like a vice.” He laughed again, but you could feel his hips starting to falter, his thrusts becoming sloppy, he had to be just as close as you were.

“Fuck, who’s your daddy, baby?” He groaned, watching the way your ass reverberated back against him with every thrust.

“You are!” You moaned, so close to the edge.

“Say it.” He commanded, a darkness present in his tone that hadn't been there before.

“You are, Rafe, you’re my daddy!” You cried out, a white heat unlike anything you’d ever felt before rushing through you as you felt a warmth gush from your cunt, your body going limp against him, his grip on your hip and the cuffs being the only things to keep you from completely collapsing into the mattress.

You barely registered him pulling out of you and cumming on your ass, the warmth of the white stickiness dripping down into your folds being one of the only things able to draw you back to reality.

“You ever done that before?” His voice sounded miles away, your ears still ringing from your release.

“Done what?” You asked sleepily, turning your head to look at him. When you saw the liquid dripping down his lower stomach and thighs onto the wet spot on the bed, your eyes went wide, trying to scramble to your knees the best you could with your wrists still cuffed.

“Oh my god, no, I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry!” The panic in your voice startled him, but that quickly turned to anger as he thought about what your shitty exes had done to you to make you feel like you needed to apologize for something so natural.

“Hey, hey, calm down.” He soothed you the best he could, grabbing the key to the cuffs and undoing them as he rubbed the red marks on your wrists to ground you.

“You’re not mad?” You asked, blinking back the tears that had gathered in your waterline.

“God, no. I’m gonna be making you squirt all the time now that I know you can.” He laughed, trying to lighten the mood again. You smiled, and his anger quelled. He had to remind himself that those assholes were in your rear view, he was your future. That’s all that mattered.

“What about the sheets?” You asked, standing from the bed to pull the wet linens off of the mattress, bunching them up in a pile in the corner of the room.

“I’ll just go ask for new ones at the front office, you go hop in the shower and I’ll join you when I get back.” He reassured, kissing you on the forehead and using the loose sheets to dry off his stomach before reaching for his scattered articles of clothing to get dressed to run to the office.

—

tagging: @starkeysprincess @rafesfawn @eddiesxangel @theeternaloptimistt @drewscoquette @rafesangelita @rafelust @bunbun-3 @poopiefartz @coquettebiatch @lilbunnyorwhatever @alejstarkey

please message me if you’d like to be untagged <3

[jawadfamily44]

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Menna Allah, one of Jawad's children, a seventeen-year-old girl, lives in a small tent erected on the ruins of her family's home, which was destroyed by the war.

Menna Allah was a high school student, dreaming of becoming a nurse to help her family and countrymen who were exhausted by life under siege. Life was not easy before the war, but after its outbreak, it turned into a permanent nightmare.

Every morning, Mennallah sits on the sandy floor inside the tent, trying to focus on her books, which she could barely rescue from under the rubble. The book's pages are torn and some of them are burned.

Every time she tries to study, the sound of bombing interrupts her concentration and sows fear in her heart. Sometimes, her mother would sit next to her, but how could she continue like this? No electricity, no internet, and even writing instruments are a distant dream.

All she has is an old pen and a half-full notebook. Sometimes she had to walk long distances to the nearest abandoned school in search of extra papers or used books. There, she used to find volunteer teachers who helped the students as much as they could, despite all the circumstances. Insisting on the dream, every day, Menna Allah faced a new conflict: lack of food, fear of the unknown, and difficulty concentrating under bombardment. But hope was her driving force.

She kept telling herself, "If I give up, nothing will change. But if I succeed, maybe I can change my family's life."

Save the future of Mennallah so she can complete her education with a donation for her and her family and secure her minimal educational supplies.

Mennallah suffers from a lack of concentration due to a lack of vitamins in her body due to the lack of available food in light of the famine and the lack of flour.

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[licityvibes]

୫ Thread The Needle ୫

୫ Author: licityvibes ୫ Pairing: soldier! Choi San x soldier! female reader ୫ Word count: 17k ୫ Warnings: cursing, suggestive, brief mention of death, mention of war

Thread the needle = To manage to find harmony or strike a balance between conflicting forces 

୫ Summary: You joined the training camp searching for meaning, hoping it would change your view of a world that felt empty without a family. What you didn’t expect was how much it would change you, not through the brutal physical training, but through the man you first saw as a strict, unapproachable sergeant.

But the more you saw of him, the more you realized he wasn’t what he seemed—his toughness hid something deeper. Could this man, who made you feel both challenged and desired, completely turn your world upside down?

Or would his constant focus on your mistakes push you to leave everything behind?

୫ A/N: Hey there! Long time no see. This is my comeback or what as a new person (just kidding, but the concert did change some things in me lmao) So this is a San military oneshot that started as a drabble...I wanted to write something on this theme a long time ago I just haven't had the motivation and it felt so good to finally write something in ages...I hope I won't lose the motivation and write more because this one felt so good I just couldn't stop writing and this is my longest oneshot ever lol. So I hope you enjoy, sure there will be mistakes, I am still learning. Okay, I think that is all, have fun or what, byee!!

Left-right heartbeat left-right heartbeat left-right

            All I could hear were those two words as my right leg followed my left. My mind was blank; all I could focus on was not stumbling, ensuring I didn’t break the perfect synchrony of our steps. I tried to steady my breathing, willing my racing heart to slow down. Around me, my teammates wore the same serious expressions—dying inside, each of us dreading what awaited us.

We were marching in two abreast, straight into a battle that was full of blood mixed with gunpowder. My eyes narrowed to the leader of our line. He was next to me, determined to win the battle we had a slight chance to win. His face from the left side looked sharp, his jaw clenched as he held the gun close to him. Somehow, he sensed I was watching him and he slightly tilted his head to his left and our eyes met. It whispered determination mixed with something sour like we might not see each other again. 

As we arrived closer to the woods, it echoed screams and gunshots over and over like it couldn't be stopped. I held my gun stronger, my fingers ready to shoot the enemy down without a thought. I had nothing to lose.

In the end, this was why I was here. This was the reason I had volunteered to become a soldier.

It was spring, the world was covered in blooming, colorful flowers, spreading hope all around the world after the neverending, cold winter.

The world was blooming with hope...but mine? Mine was burning down with hatred I felt towards it. There was nothing left for me that could bloom anymore. My heart was already burnt down to ashes, everything was just too much and this was my whole life. I don't even know how could I keep up for twenty years. I had no one, I was an orphan, I wasn't the best kid on Earth, and no one truly loved me. I felt like I was cursed like I didn't deserve happiness all over again. It hurt, but I just somehow got used to the fact I wasn't meant to be happy.

So, with the thought that I had nothing to lose, I volunteered for a training camp—one where only those strong enough, both mentally and physically, could earn the right to serve in our country’s army.

I had always believed it was a noble thing to serve your hometown, to protect the people who loved you. But in my case, there was no one to protect except myself. And that was the only thing that kept me going. 

On my first day, everything felt odd, everything felt new. It was a different environment than what I had ever known. Rules were the most important things to keep and there were a lot of them. These strict rules made the newcomers get used to the life of a soldier. We got up at 5 a.m., we had ten minutes to get ready and go out to the field where we needed to run for half an hour. After that without a break, we had to do many push-ups, squats, and sit-ups.

It was cruel, especially when this was our first day. I felt like I could pass out at any time. I already saw black spots as I did the sit-ups on the ground. But I knew what I applied for, I trained over a year to get in shape and to live a healthy life before I signed up for the training camp. Even though I could say I was a fit woman, this was too much for my body all of a sudden. I needed just one second and rested my head on the ground to breathe. It was just one second, but suddenly an angry head appeared in my sight, huge shoulders covering the sun that was about to rise.

"No stopping! Only when I say!" The soldier who led the morning training shouted to my face, as if was the end of the world I stopped for one second.

I didn't say anything just continued doing the sit-ups, as we switched to making push-ups again.

"If you stop, you have nothing to do here! You didn't come here to rest, you came here to fight, to be stronger!" The man walked in front of us spitting these wise words into our faces. His voice was sharp and powerful as he shouted.

The girl next to me suddenly weakened and she fell on the floor, power leaving her body. "I said, no stopping!" He appeared again in front of us with a sharp glare.

"Excuse me, sir, I have no more strength." The girl was kneeling in front of him, not even daring to look into his sharp eyes.

"I don't care, you do it until you collapse! Get up and do squats!" He yelled as he looked down at the weak girl in front of him.

I narrowed my eyes at the girl as I switched to doing squats. I was on the verge of my power as well, I could imagine what the girl felt. Then my eyes landed on the sergeant.

"Eyes ahead! Not looking at others or me!" He shouted as he stepped in front of me again—of course, he had to notice as my eyes ran over him for one second. I just couldn't do anything, because he always just appeared there. I rolled my eyes unintentionally at the thought.

"Twenty-four! Attention!" He yelled.

"Yes, sir!" I stood like a stake. I was in trouble.

"Is there any problem?" He stood in front of me, his sharp eyes glaring straight into my soul. His hands were interlocked behind his back, his big chest pushed forward, his wide shoulders covering my view as his face was inches away from mine. He was wearing a black tank top, that was glued to his perfectly muscled body, a metal necklace that all of the official soldiers were wearing hung from his neck, on his big chest, his shoulders were double sized of his lean waist. Dark green pants were tucked into his lighter green boots.  

"No, sir!" I answered as I kept the eye contact confidently.

"Then why did you just roll your eyes at me?" He yelled straight into my face; his spit landing on my cheeks.

There was no point in denying it. "Just remembered something, sir!"

The sergeant chuckled but nothing was funny in this situation. I felt as if the other's eyes averted on us too. He looked around sensing it too. "I said no looking around, mind your own business!" He yelled to the others, meanwhile, my eyes averted to his uniform where his metal name tag was hanging.

Sergeant Choi San was written on the tag and a lot of medals were shining on his uniform.

 "Here is the first lesson you need to understand, Twenty-four!" He grabbed my jaw and lifted my head so I could look into his eyes. "There's no space for any kind of thoughts if you are here! You need to be here mentally and not in other places." His fingers tightened around my jaw, almost breaking the bone. It hurt as hell.

"Understood, sir!" Tears started to well up in my eyes from the pain, unintentionally. I didn't want to seem weak.

"Perfect!" He released my jaw. "Plus fifteen minutes run after the training is over for Twenty-four as a punishment!" He shouted out so the others would hear it as well. I felt embarrassed at that moment and my heart was racing from the hatred I felt towards this man.

"Don't just look at me, do the exercises and when everyone finishes, you run for another ten minutes! Chop-chop!" He clapped with a satisfied smile like he enjoyed watching others suffering.

I just glared at him. "Yes, sir!" I smiled at him, as I started to do the push-ups again.

He just won't make it more miserable here by suddenly watching every mistake I make so he can punish me.

When everyone finished up with the morning exercises, they were allowed to wash up and go to eat breakfast. Except for me, because I needed to run for fifteen more minutes. I was out of breath after all the push-ups and squats, my body was trembling, but I had to do this.

"Hey, fighting! I will wait for you at breakfast." Yunho ran to me as he placed his right hand on my shoulder. He was one of my roommates and he was the only one I talked to. It wasn't because I wanted to, he just came next to me and started talking about how he misses his little dog, Mungi—or Mangi, I don't remember, honestly.

He was a little annoying at first but then I just realized he was a sweet and happy person, and I thought it didn't harm if I could talk to someone in this mentally and physically exhausting place.

I nodded at him "Thank you, see you there!" I said as I turned towards the running field.  

I saw the Sergeant still standing behind talking to someone as he glanced at me. I was still breathing fast as I walked to the field, tried to get myself together in two seconds, and then started running. All of this because of an eye-roll? Are you kidding me? Was this Choi San this sensitive? Did it hurt his ego? I was hoping so.

As I was running, I was thinking about, how I wanted to show this asshole, who knew better than anyone, that I was strong enough to be here. So, I just needed to swallow the bitter pill and just show him what I was capable of.   

After training all day, going through some obstacle courses, and eating in between, later that evening we all gathered up in the canteen and were standing with straight shoulders. Five soldiers with different kinds of medals on their uniforms were standing in front of us, Sergeant Choi San included, with hands behind their backs.

"Attention!" One of them with blonde hair shouted. We all strengthened and looked forward. "At ease!" The blonde one said, now with a calmer tone. Then all of us were standing straddle-legged with our hands behind our backs.

"My name is Kim Hongjoong and I am the leader of this training camp. We gathered here so we could discuss some important things." He said with a powerful voice. "Today was difficult, you trained all day long. We know it was deep water for all of you, but it had a purpose." The blonde soldier glared at us with sharp eyes. "Today, half of you is going home!"

Silence followed his announcement. Everyone looked at the other in shock. Yunho next to me looked at me with wide eyes as I looked back at him not understanding what was happening. Were they serious? There were almost fifty people here, who wanted to be a soldier, they applied because of this. And now they want to send us home? It was not fair at all.

"This day was a test!" The blonde kept going. "We watched every single one of you throughout the day. Your skills, your strength, your want to be here, to keep going." He tried to look into the eyes of everyone one by one as he said. "Some of you were fighting with all of your strength and we do appreciate it because if you stay it is going to be hell, it is going to be cruel and more difficult, we do appreciate that you at least tried. But some of you thought it was just a joke like you came here thinking it was fun trying it. If you came here, you need to be serious, you have to be here with both your head and heart. It's not a game; this is the real life! I don't want someone who does not deserve to be here!" He walked in front of us, his voice getting higher and higher.

My heart started to beat faster and faster as I thought about the incident with Choi San in the morning. What if he said something to the Lieutenant? I thought it could be the end of my only purpose in my life.

"Whoever I say comes next to me!" Choi San shouted then. Was he going to say those who needed to go home?

"Five! Twelve! Eight! Twenty-six! Forty-one! Twenty-four!" He shouted the numbers loud, and when I heard my number, I just knew it was the end, it was all because of what happened in the morning and I just wanted to scream at myself for not knowing how to stay unbothered in situations…

I just walked there with my head held low, looking at the white floor of the canteen. I needed to hold back my emotions that suddenly drowned me. As I walked next to the Sergeant, I turned toward the other people who were standing in front of us. My eyes met with Yunho, whose eyes were whispering empathy towards me, he sincerely seemed sad that I was going to go home.

"These numbers…" Choi San started "Are the members of my team!" He announced as he glanced next to him where I was standing, then to the others. Our eyes met as I was in shock. I was prepared to go home—that is a lie, I would've cursed this man to the ground if he dared to send me home—No but honestly, okay I stayed, thank God, but why did he choose me, in his team, even though he definitely had some problems with my presence.

"I choose the members of my team based on what I saw in them. I saw determination, they wanted to show what they were capable of and because they still needed to learn how to believe in themselves!" He then turned towards us. "Welcome to the Echo team!" He saluted as we quickly did the same and shouted "Thank you, sir!" together.

Then he turned with a slightly visible smile on his face—which was unbelievable—and then the other three Sergeants chose the members of their group.

While the selection was continuing, I looked at my teammates and tried to listen to their quiet small talk next to me as they guessed who was going to go home. There were four boys and one more girl on our team. They seemed like they knew each other, probably they talked the day before, just as normal people would do.

I wasn't that type, I just hated getting to know new people, and based on my life story in which I wasn't that lucky in making friends, I just couldn't get the energy to do the same. In the end, they all are going to walk out of my life.

But there was a boy in our team who was just as quiet as me, he was standing right next to me and listened to the others, observing the team and what was happening in the canteen. He noticed I was watching him so he smiled shyly.

"Hi, my name is Jongho!" He said quietly as he reached his hand towards me to shake it.

"Y/n, nice to meet you!” I smiled at him slightly as I shook his hand. He seemed nice and not annoying like the others on my team. I just hated people, especially the ones who talked too much, Jongho seemed honest and I could imagine that we could be friends in the future.

"Are you—" Jongho started but the soldier in front of us turned.

"Enough of talking, quiet!" He looked at us first with a sharp glare, then at the others, who were louder than us, yet he looked at us first. He turned back and that was when I noticed a tattoo on the sergeant’s back. On his left shoulder, there was writing ‘Sierra’, in bold letters. I wondered who Sierra was.

 I just sighed as I tried to prepare myself for the next four weeks, where he was going to be my boss, telling me what to do, watching every bad step I was going to make, so he could shout at me.

All of the leaders chose the members of their team, then twenty-four people looked at us sadly in front of us, who remained unchosen. The girl who barely collapsed in the morning next to me, was there too, with a sad but understanding expression. Some were angry, saying it was unfair and they didn't know it was a test.

No one knew it, fair or unfair, the Sergeants made their decision and the teams were made; Team Ekko, Team Zed, Team Terra, and Team Sierra. The ones who were eliminated went to pack, I looked around the canteen searching for Yunho, our eyes met and he waved at me happily jumping a little. He was in team Terra and their leader seemed like he stepped out straight from a Top Gun movie, he was tall, with silver rings and necklaces, and a black sunglass was sitting on his tall nose, even though we were inside. It looked like Yunho was glad he was in this Top Gun guy's team.

I wasn't sure about my leader though. I wasn't blind he looked handsome as hell, but not everything was about looks. And besides I didn't come here to play Tinder, it was a left and right game but with our feet as we marched towards the battle of our lives. 

The week went the same way as that day, morning training then breakfast, training again, on the field or outside of the base. I could still barely do the exercises, even though we did it every day, my body was aching and trembling from the sudden impact it got from the exercises, but I kept going, the urge to prove that I was capable of anything made my body work.

In the middle of the week after a quick breakfast, our team separated from the others and got into an armored car. We were fully armored, our camouflaged uniforms matching with the dark green car that was still going on the bumpy road. I held the strange weapon in my hand, grabbing it stronger, I started to get nervous because I didn't know where we were heading or what was today's exercise. I was sitting next to Jongho, as we talked a little on the way out, guessing what we were going to do. I guessed it was some field exercise, and Jongho guessed it was some shooting exercise. The boy seemed sincere and I was glad I had someone to talk to in my team who appeared to be normal, not like the other guy, who had a big mouth and couldn't just shut up, his name was Wooyoung as it turned out. He was going to be a sure problem.

Then the car suddenly stopped and we needed to jump out of it quickly. I looked around quickly, taking in my surroundings. We were on a big field, there was a forest behind us and in front of us a clearing that was full of hills, rocks, and a lot of trees. I saw some target boards far away from us. So Jongho was right, it is going to be target shooting. My first time shooting with a weapon. And I hoped not the last one.

"Attention!" Choi Sergeant shouted suddenly, as we quickly strengthened. "At ease!" Hands behind our backs, straddle standing. I slowly got used to the things we could say and the things we needed to do.

"Today's lesson is going to be target shooting! You have to be very careful because these are real weapons and real bullets, you can't make mistakes here!" He pointed at us with a serious face.

My eyes narrowed to the dark green targets, that were barely visible in the green field. How are we going to shoot those down?

"Understood Twenty-four?" The Sergeant appeared in front of me, as he shouted. He was so annoying.

"Understood, sir!" I shouted back.

"It's not sir, it's Captain!" This guy was a joke.

"Yes, Captain!" I would've rolled my eyes at this, but I learned my lesson the other day.

After he explained the process of how to change ammunition and how to secure the weapon, we went a little closer to a little hill and we needed to shoot from there. I laid down on the ground on my stomach as Captain said. After repeating what we learned it was time to shoot.

 This was the real deal now and all my focus was on the target that was a hundred meters away from us, we had six bullets to take three down. My first shot was a mistake, but this was my first-ever bullet. The second was a hit just as the others. It was as easy as cooking.

"Great," Captain shouted. "Now the next target! It's a standing battle-person silhouette, you have to immobilize the target but not kill it! Hands and legs are the target! You have one shot!"

"Just one? We are just learning to shoot, Captain!" Wooyoung, the big mouth said. He was in a problem.

"Shut up, Twenty-six! I didn't ask your opinion, now shoot or leave!" He shouted as he was standing above him.

I closed my eyes and breathed deeply and as I opened my eyes my focus was straight on the right leg of the silhouette and without a thought, I shat the bullet right into where I wanted. I was seriously surprised it was a hit.

"Good job, Twenty-four!" I heard a voice coming from beside me as I looked up at the man, the sun beaming in the sky right into my eyes as he looked down at me. He looked like an angel with a glory.

"Thank you, Captain!" I said back to him after I secured the gun. At least I thought it was secured and when I made sure it didn't shoot, the bullet just shot out of it without a thought. Luckily it was still pointed towards the targets, but if it weren't…

"Twenty-four!" I heard a familiar voice shouting, but it was never this loud and full of anger. "What the hell did I tell you about keeping the weapons secured? Were you wandering off again in your mind? Are you insane?" He came next to me, kneeled, and grabbed the weapon from my hands to watch. "How do we secure a gun, Twenty-four?" He asked as he not so nicely handed back the weapon. I kneeled in front of him as he was standing again.

I needed to secure the gun at least ten times, the others watching as he was shouting at me the whole time. I was under a lot of pressure; it wasn't the best feeling. I felt embarrassed and angry at myself how could I make a mistake like this? It wasn't a game, someone could've been hurt.

"This is serious, we talk about lives, a bullet can kill, without a thought! Why are you here if you can't follow the rules? What would you say to your family? To your mom and dad? That 'I didn't pay attention, sorry'?" He said cruelly as I was just listening to every word he was saying, but the last ones were just too much. It was a weak point of mine and was so low of him. He should have known I had no family to tell anything.

I just stared at the green grass in front of me, his military boots visible only. "I made a mistake, it won't happen again, Captain!" I said a little quieter as I couldn't shout.

"I didn't hear it! Louder! And look at me when you talk to me, Twenty-four!"

I slowly lifted my head and glared at him with an empty look. He seemed a little surprised at my face for one millisecond but disappeared immediately as his sharp glare was looking back at me. "I made a mistake, it won’t happen again, Captain!" I shouted with all my power so he could hear, because as it turned out there were some problems with his hearing.

"We will get back to this!" He pointed at me saying it a little quieter just so I could hear it as I stood up.

"Attention team!" He shouted as we gathered in one line.

"Today's lesson is finished! The majority of the team completed the task, some didn't! You can go back to the base!" That was the words I was waiting for. I was the first one to turn around and go to the car that was already waiting for us. I could barely hold myself together, the emotions that suddenly tried to drown me were just too much. Why couldn't we just turn off our emotions, they have terrible timing and I just didn't want to feel anymore, it hurt. 

Back on the base, all I was waiting for was to shower, skip dinner, because I just had no appetite, and go somewhere I could be alone.

For this reason, I signed up to be one of the guards in the night. All of us needed to do at least one night, so I thought it was going to be my time. At least I was alone on the southern guarding tower. I climbed up, not sure if I was ready to be awake all night, without my thoughts drowning me. But at least I was alone.

When it comes to mentioning the word family, I just get lost. I can't do anything to stop it, all the memories I don't have just make me angrier and call life unfair because I couldn't experience the love of a family, the care of a mother, the protection of a father, or even a not so serious fight with a sibling. But I wasn't the only one to live like this, life wasn't unfair with just me, there were others too outside and this was what made me accept the fate I've got. So, in the end, it was always myself, who was my best friend, who was someone to take care of me, to comfort me. I grew up with this mentality and probably this was the reason I didn't trust anyone.

I was thinking about these things while I looked outside into the dark wildlife past the wire fence, a weapon in my hands when I heard a noise coming from underneath the tower. Quick footsteps, then I hear someone crawl up on the ladder that leads to where I was standing. My heart started to pound faster as I grabbed my weapon ready to shoot if we got attacked by some outsiders.

I tried to even my breathing that suddenly was so fast, I felt like my heart might jump out of my chest. Then the trap door made out of wood, opened and all my focus was there, just to see a familiar face that I didn't want to see.

"Jesus, Miss Kang!" Sergeant Choi said surprised as he straightened up with his hands held up when he saw me holding a gun at him.

"Shit! My apologies Captain!" I quickly put down the weapon and stood at attention.

"At ease, Kang!" He said, his voice low. I never heard him talk in this tone; I thought he could only yell at me.

"I'm sorry, I thought someone wanted to attack me." I looked down, and I felt a little shame. I just held a gun at my leader, they could even fire me for this.

He chuckled at that, I repeat—chuckled. "You would be long dead if someone would've attacked the base. You know the first ones are always the guards." He said and as I looked up, I saw a small smile on his face. And if I didn't get a heart attack when I thought, someone was going to kill me, now sure I was close to that.

I would've never thought I was going to say this, but his smile was so beautiful. As it curved up a little on both sides, his cheeks were higher, and little dimples were shining on his face. And his eyes got smaller from the smile. He was wearing the usual green pants, now paired with a grey tank top as a green bag was hanging from his shoulder.

I swore to Gods I felt like I started blushing and what the hell—get yourself together man.

"Yeah, right, I guess I still have to learn." I nodded as I turned away to look outside into the dark. It was better than looking at him, while I was fucking blushing. Why I was thinking suddenly that he was handsome? Okay, he was from the beginning but he was an asshole the whole time so I didn't notice. Who am I kidding he probably had a wife and kids already. A family…

Then I felt as if he walked next to me, grabbing the cold metal rail. As he did it, I heard a little noise and I looked down at his forefinger a golden ring that was lit by the moon shining above us. I quickly looked away from his hands.

"You still have to learn, but you made a lot of progress over a week." The Sergeant said as I felt his eyes on me.

"Yeah, especially today," I said with a sigh.

"About that, sorry if I was harsher than before, but I had to show an example for the others too and for you as well because it is a serious mistake. Could've been lives…" His voice came out softer like he felt a little guilty for yelling at me like that. But why would he? I was just one of his students if we could call it like that. There was no need to show favor towards me.

"No need to apologize, I understand, Captain! It was a big mistake and I hate myself for it." I looked down at my hands.

"You shouldn't. It happened and we are glad nothing serious happened but you learn from your mistakes. And I am sure you will always know how to secure a gun from now on." I glanced at him, and there it was—that damn smile.

"Yeah, that is sure, I won't ever forget," I said as a little smile appeared on my lips as well. It felt like a long time ago since I smiled. It felt especially strange; I didn't even realize that I don't smile often. And it was sad.

I looked away from him again, not being able to look at him for more than five seconds. "By the way, what are you doing here, Captain?"

"Oh, I almost forgot," He grabbed the bag from his shoulders and started to search for something. I looked at him with brows furrowed. "I brought you something to eat because the others said you skipped it. What I don't appreciate, by the way, you have to eat!" He looked up for a moment with sharp eyes.

I nodded at that, "Sorry, Captain I couldn't eat…"

Then he reached a box towards me with the dinner, which was some pasta and a bottle of water. Not going to lie…it was nice of him.

"You need strength here, we overwork ourselves all day, and these sources are necessary to keep going. Now sit and eat!" He commanded and all I could do was to obey immediately as he was watching my every movement.

"Yes, sir…am Captain! Thank you!" I just couldn't function when he was staring at me like that. I sat down cross-legged on the floor and opened the box. He did the same after looking around on the base and outside, he sat down. There were only the sounds of owls and a wolf calling his mate under the full moon. He sat on the opposite side of the tower in front of me and just watched as I was eating. The hell? I couldn't eat normally when someone was watching me.

"Khm…Can't you just not look at me like that while I eat…Captain?" I said a little shyly. I didn't recognize myself. I was a blushing teenager again.

"Soldiers need to do things under pressure, get used to it!" He answered with seriousness.

I was glad it was darker up there because I rolled my eyes at that. "Yeah, of course!"

"Did you just roll your eyes?" His face looked serious again, as the moonlight beamed at his face, some shadows dancing on his face, making it look sharper.

I froze for a second, not again, please. "No! I swear to God!" I held up my hands looking at him with round eyes.

Then he suddenly chuckled again. "I saw it, it's not that dark." I really couldn't figure this man out.

I put down the box I was eating from and stood up. "I know, I'm going for my fifteen-minute run."

"No, no, no. Stay, you don't have to, I was just joking." He signaled with his hands to sit down and his smile never disappeared. He enjoyed playing with me.

I snorted at that and sat down. "Very funny, Captain!"

There were a few minutes of silence between us. Both of us are deep in our thoughts.

"But that wasn't all today, didn't it?" I looked up at him with confused eyes as I finished my dinner. "It wasn't just about you making a mistake. I said something and then you suddenly changed, something is up, Kang."

I just shook my head, there was no way I would tell him. "Nothing, seriously. It was just because I felt so angry at myself and, to be honest at you as well, because I felt embarrassed. But that is all." I said trying to focus on one part of the truth.

He watched me for a few seconds, and he looked like he didn't entirely believe me, but he nodded.

"Thank you for the dinner, Captain! You can go and rest!" I stood up and grabbed my weapon. Then I chuckled a bit, "I sounded like I gave you orders!"

He smiled and hummed at that. "I'm staying with you tonight, Twenty-four!" He stood up and walked closer to me. "Didn't you know there are always two guards in one tower?" He kind of hovered over me and I looked up at him with wide eyes. "And let's not switch the roles if you may." He whispered a little closer to me.

I coughed feeling shy again…"No, Captain, I didn't know!" I straightened a bit at that. Then I turned away from him quickly. This was too much, what was this sudden change?

Then the night went away quickly, as we chit-chatted the whole night about this and that. Mostly he talked about how he became a soldier and how it changed his life. It was interesting because he was forced to be a soldier and this was the last thing he wanted to do, but in the end, it changed his mentality entirely and he couldn't imagine his life some other way. And as I thought about it, this was what I was hoping from this training camp if I was able to do it and become a soldier, it meant I was on the level he was on. And it seemed like a balanced life that I always craved for.        

The next day I only had to join practice in the afternoon, because I was guarding all night. I started fresh like a salad; I was ready to overrun everyone. Well, that seemed like a joke, because nothing happened as I wished. I was bad as hell; I fell a lot of time on the obstacle training and after running for half an hour I was on the verge of collapsing.

But then our Captain decided it was the best time to practice a new weapon and how secure it was. It needed concentration and punctuality and when all my body was trembling from the impact it got, it was game over. I tried to put in its place the cartridge in its place, but my breathing was just uneven and I dropped it a few times.

"Twenty-four! Didn't you get your beauty sleep until now? You just joined your team and you are out of it! At least try to make an effort, Kang!" Sergeant Choi shouted as he stepped closer. The man from the other night was just an illusion. But I guess I understood, there were boundaries between students and sergeants. He needed to take care of his team but also to teach lessons for them.

I nodded at that and somehow managed to put in its place that thing. But then we needed to start it over. And I dropped that shit over and over again. I was totally out of my mind; I couldn't concentrate and everyone saw that.

"I'm counting the times you made a mistake, Twenty-four! We are at six hundred points!" The sergeant yelled again while he was showing the other girl with kind words how to put in its place the cartridge. I felt like it was unfair, it wasn't me the only one who made mistakes and dropped that shit. But I kept trying and eventually, I calmed down enough to succeed in securing perfectly the weapon.

When the sun started to set down, the sergeant called it a night and we all dismissed. I didn't know why I couldn't just complete the tasks as I did before and it made me feel uneasy. I just called it a bad day; everyone had a bad day.

Well, it turned out hell, when suddenly Sergeant Choi came into our room and called me out. I was confused and was ready to run in circles again when we arrived at the field. It was barely lit with some lampposts and I saw my teammates standing there as confused as me.

"Attention Team Echo!" We were standing in a line and straightened. "At ease!" He said as we were in a straddled-standing. "Today was all about exhausting our bodies to our limits and then the ability to still concentrate on little things, to be punctual." He said with his hands behind his back, as he looked into our eyes one by one. "But some of you couldn't do it, even though we are already here in a week and a half! Twenty-four step out!" Here it came, my doom. I stepped out.

"You came later on because of your night shift, left out a lot of exercises, still you couldn't make them, mistakes after mistakes. I told you I counted them. Come beside me!" He said as his gaze pierced through me. I went next to him facing my teammates. "Your teammates are going to pay for the mistakes you made today. You are going to lead the night exercise!" He said as he looked to his side where I was standing, then to my teammates.

It was cruel, other people needed to suffer because of me.

"No way! Why isn't she paying for the mistake, it's not fair!" Wooyoung complained, which if I was honest, understood because I would've felt the same.

"Stop crying and do what I tell you!" Choi shouted at Wooyoung, who trembled from the sudden impact. "You're supposed to be a team! But you can't work together because you can't step out of your comfort zones and all of you are just too egoistic to think of others and not themselves!" His voice got louder and louder. I didn't know how his voice wasn't gone by now.

"A team helps each other and makes the task easier! Miss Kang made mistakes and it has consequences, that you and her teammates have to suffer together. She is going to learn from this as well. Trust me it's hard to watch as your teammates suffer only because of you!" He looked at me with sharp and serious eyes. "Now start the exercise! Push-ups! Now!" He commanded.

"Miss Kang counts! 1! 2! 3!" He shouted as he looked at me waiting to count.

"I want to do the exercises along them, Captain!" I said to him as I felt like it wasn’t fair.

"No! You have nothing to do just count! Now!" He pointed at my teammates. 

"1! 2! 3!" I started counting as my teammates started to do push-ups.

"Louder, Kang! Are we in the confession chair?"

I started counting louder, feeling like I wanted to bury myself six feet under. It didn't feel right even though I barely felt empathy toward people, I knew this was because of me. These people were strangers to me…at least in the beginning, but since we are here, something started to form between us. I still kept my distance for a reason but they were nice and those moments when we managed to do the tasks together as a team were the moments when I realized these people really do deserve to be here and that we could do a great team together.

"See? This happens when you can't be here in mind," He pointed at his head. "Your teammates suffer the consequences." He knew me too well, even though we had only been here for a short time. He was right and I hated him for that. I

 hated it when people looked through me and the most when they noticed my mistakes. It would've felt better if I got the punishment. But seeing my teammates on the dirty ground doing sit-ups, out of breath after a long day, was so cruel of him. I was really on the verge of joining them or telling him I was going to do all the exercises instead of them, but I didn't. I remained silent and watched as my teammates almost collapsed from training all day and now this.

When they finished Captain dismissed us and we could go back to our room as we had less time now to get our rest. I needed to remain outside a little to clear my head. I walked a little further to the outline of the field and sat on one of the benches.

I couldn't do it like this. With a mind where chaos ruled everything. I signed up for this to prove to myself that I was capable of living. But not like this. So now I set three goals for myself; to talk with my teammates, to prove to myself and the others that I did belong here, and to let go of my past. My past was what it was and it does not lead me anywhere.

So, I had to start with a new page.

The next morning the first thing I wanted to do, after getting ready for the day, was to talk with my teammates. I couldn't sleep all night, because the guilt kept me up. I didn't even know I could feel empathy towards people. But when people are in a situation like preparing to be a soldier, which means life or death, it isn't a question. People grew close to me in no time. My teammates especially.

Wooyoung had a big mouth, but he was a fun guy even though he sometimes didn't have a filter. The other girl, Wendy, on the other hand, was the only girl beside me on our team and it was a need. We understood our needs and could talk about some girly things in this men-ruled place. Jongho was a sweet guy, who was there when I needed a little quiet. The other two guys were Changbin and Mingyu, they were both powerful and had the mindset of a real soldier. We needed them in our team. Everyone had unique abilities which moved forward our team. And when they needed to suffer because I made a banal mistake, I just couldn't get a rest. So, when I saw my teammates were in the canteen sitting at one table eating a surprisingly good breakfast, it was time for me to talk to them. At least the food was so good here, they took good care of the soldiers

"Good morning, guys!" I said as I sat next to Jongho.

"Good morning, Y/N!" Jongho greeted me immediately with a beaming smile.

"Morning!" Wooyoung said as he didn't even look at me.

I coughed a bit trying to get some attention and tried to put together what I wanted to say.

"So am…I just wanted to apologize for yesterday. I know it was my fault, yet you needed to suffer…I am sorry." I said as I looked into the eyes of everyone.

"It's okay." To my surprise, Wooyoung started to talk. "I know I didn't show it, but we all knew it wasn't your fault; everyone has a bad day. You did great at practice and I saw that you tried to put that gun together. It happens, we are glad nothing serious happened and we do not have one more hole in our bodies." Wooyoung chuckled sincerely, which truly was a surprise. My respect towards him just grew.

"Y/n, you really shouldn't worry about us, we did it for the team, and we would do it again if it was for anyone on the team," Wendy said, his shoulder-length hair now in a ponytail. The others nodded at that with agreement.

"Shit guys, I literally couldn't sleep because of the guilt I felt, and you are acting so chill about it," I said with a sincere and thankful smile.

Jongho bumped his shoulder to mine. "It's all right, Kang!" He smiled at me with a sweet, understanding smile.

And with that getting into place, I felt like we could be unstoppable. Something blocked us, until that point and now that everything was clear, I knew I could trust in these people.

 

The next week was about, outside training that came with no time, we couldn’t even finish our breakfast and in the blink of an eye, we were standing in front of Sergeant Choi in a dark field. This was how our week looked, getting up, eating, training, eating, and resting. And repeat.

 The weather was quite cloudy today as the sun hid behind the darker clouds, it seemed it could rain at any moment.

"Attention team! Today's training is about teamwork, strength, and keeping the mind calm under pressure!" He shouted staring into our eyes.

"Your job is, to carry the equipment behind the moving combat car. It shelters you from the enemy, it's a shield from the bullets. After you manage to do it, there is going to be a military car that is stuck in the mud. You have to unpack the car and somehow get it out of the mud by pushing it out! When the car is out, the mission is completed!" The sergeant said with tranquility and slowly so we could understand the task.

"I expect, composed and measured thinking! I believe you can do it, there is no impossible here!" He shouted with an encouraging tone.

"Yes, Captain!" We all shouted together, determined as a team.

"Now, get ready, and when I tell you, start the mission!"

Everything felt like it was happening in slow motion.

We ran forward in a straight line, our chests aligned, counting our steps carefully to keep from tripping. During attack simulations, we had to take cover next to the combat vehicle. After running two kilometers in full gear, we finally reached the car, stuck deep in the mud.

When we tried to pull it free, it wouldn’t budge. Chaos erupted—everyone shouting, running in different directions. Our rhythm, our unity, seemed to break apart. And I couldn’t stand to watch it.

"Everyone, stop!" I shouted as I stepped out of the mud to the side, looking at the others. "We need a plan; we won't go anywhere if we just shout at each other! We are going to get that shit out!” I pointed at the car getting hyped up as the adrenaline ran through my body, giving me enough strength to do all of this.

“Jongho, you are strong you stay at the rear with Changbin and push the car when I tell you. Wendy, you sit in the car, we need someone at the wheel as well. Wooyoung, Mingyu, and I, are going to help with the tires with the wooden board! Let's try it!" I felt like someone had to say what we needed to do, Sergeant Choi stood next to us but did not help in how we could manage to get the car out of there. The others didn't complain, they nodded and went to their places.

"Okay, at three, push, we help on the sides as well!" I shouted out, my lungs burning from the tiredness I felt, but the adrenaline didn’t let me stop, we needed to do this.

"One! Two! Three! PUSH!" I shouted as Jongho and Changbin started pushing the car with all their strength, we managed to put the wooden boards under the tires and supported from the sides as well. At first, it seemed like it wouldn't move, but as we pushed without giving up, it was suddenly moving, the tires full of dirt as it almost buried itself.

"Keep going, it's moving!" I shouted as I gritted my teeth, giving all my power into pushing, meanwhile, my feet were buried entirely in the mud I could barely move, just like the others. But then it was easier and easier to push and then all I could see was dry ground under the tire. We made it.

"Gather here team! Attention!" We didn't even have the time to process it, we ran in front of him the car behind us, and straightened.

For a few seconds, he didn’t say anything, just stared into our eyes one, one by one. "Mission completed, Team Echo!" Then he settled on mine. "Kang! Step out!" He said, as I immediately stepped out, not breaking eye contact.

"Yes, Captain!" I shouted, as my heart was still beating fast from the mission. But it was beating faster when he called my name, I felt like I was in trouble.

"Miss Kang had the bravery to take over the team's leading!" He said as he stepped closer to me with his eyes piercing through my soul, as suddenly I felt cold, wet drops on my face. The rain as suddenly as it used to, started pouring at us, but we didn't dare to move a finger. We were still standing there as we got soaked, the mud from our faces and clothes slowly flowing down to the ground with the rain. I felt like it was a mistake what I did.

After a few seconds of silence, he said, "Which was the greatest thing you did, since you are here!" He said unblinking, even though the rain made his raven-black hair fall into his eyes, which made him look even more handsome. "Miss Kang, made a good decision, seeing her team was falling apart and took over. This is why we are here! To discover what we are capable of, to adapt to different situations! A soldier is a soldier when they know what they are capable of and when they know their boundaries! We are here to search those boundaries! Good job team, since we are here, this is the first time you made me proud!" The Sergeant shouted out, sincerely looking proud at his team. "Miss Kang, you are the temporary leader of the team from now on! Until you deserve it!" He said as he looked at me seriously.

I saluted at that. "Yes, Captain! I'm grateful for your decision, I am going to lead the team with all my power and fight for them!" I shouted with determination.

I stepped back, as we all shouted. "We will do our best!"

The rain was still pouring at us, and I needed to squint my eyes to see something, all of us were soaked to the bone. He nodded. "Now, dismiss and get a rest!" He commanded as we finally could go back to the base.

It was truly a trial mission for the team and while we were in the car to go back to the base, we all were smiling, because this was the first time we got praise from our leader and it felt good. We discussed the details of the mission and how everyone did a great job. It was a need for our team. We started to build up a strong bond between us.  

When we arrived and finally could rest a bit, before I could go after the others into my room a familiar voice called me from behind. "Miss Kang!"

I turned on my heels immediately and strengthened. "Yes, Captain!" I said looking straight. Then he jogged towards me, his hair half-dried as the rain stopped a few minutes ago, his cheeks were a bit pink from the chilly air. He got rid of his soaked green jacket and only wore a black T-shirt, that was glued to his chest from the wetness. The air was caught in my throat as I watched him approach me. I wasn't supposed to feel like this, I didn't even know what I felt, but something just pulled towards him like a magnet. Probably it was because he was the most handsome man I ever met in my twenty years, and probably I was blinded by that.

"You can ease, Kang, we are not on a mission. You can relax sometimes you know?" He asked what looked like sincere curiosity.

I nodded as I tilted my head down a bit. "Yes, it's just a little harder for me, Captain!" I said sincerely.

He nodded in understanding. "Okay, then you have half an hour to get ready! We are going into the town to ease up a bit!" He said with a small smile appearing on his face, where I just couldn't read anything. He was like a mysterious box that couldn’t be opened. And I desperately wanted to open that box, I was curious about him, outside the soldier life.

At first, when he said it, I didn't believe it, it seemed like he was joking so I looked at him with big-doe eyes, not understanding what was happening.

"Miss Kang!" Then I felt warm hands on both sides of my cheeks, I could feel the hot air coming from his mouth on my face. "Did you get what I said?" Man, get your shit together, what is happening with you?

I chuckled at that, trying to ignore the fact that his hands were on my face. "Yes, yes, I understood, Captain, we are going to the town to get shit-faced!" I stated the facts.

Then his hands were gone from my cheeks as he wholeheartedly laughed. My cheeks were suddenly burning despite the air being cold outside, but I'm not going to lie, the sound of his laugh made my heart beat faster. He looked so sweet while laughing. And I would've never imagined I was going to hear his laugh; it was special and low and his dimples made it cute. I don’t know if it was the tiredness but I felt like I was going to melt right there. The Sergeant, who I thought was cold and unstoppable, was sweet and caring under the surface.

It was strange being out in town after two and a half weeks. It may seem short for others but for us, it seemed like months passed. As we were sitting beside a table with the team, the Captain invited us for a few shots. It was odd. Like it was an entirely new life. I got used to the rules and schedules it was strange and I couldn’t let go of myself.

"Miss Kang, it is allowed to relax now." I felt as the sergeant next to me bumped his shoulders into mine as he looked at me. I looked back at him for a moment to take him in. This night was full of surprises, he wasn't wearing the usual uniform we all needed; he was wearing casual clothes. And oh my God—when I saw him, my stomach definitely flipped, I didn't know if it was the butterflies or the mud I ate during the mission, but something happened. He was wearing a grey hoodie paired with black jeans and on top a black coat that reached his ankle. His hair was freshly washed and it was falling onto his forehead softly. He looked so casual and so out of what I was used to.  

I was just staring down at my drink, almost full, despite we were there for more than an hour. I just nodded at what he said, it wasn't just that I got used to the strict rules on the base, it was just that, I didn't have things like these in my life. Things like sitting together with friends to grab a drink and talk all night. I was a socially distanced person and it was difficult to get used to it. And I felt regret for not being able to experience this kind of thing.

So, for this reason, I wholeheartedly started to listen to the conversation around us. After drinking two of the Gin tonics that Wooyoung ordered for me, I finally felt at ease. I felt like I was in the right place, with the right people around. We laughed and cheered as Jongho told us a speech about how good of a team we became, that we were unstoppable. The Captain just nodded at that as his cheeks were a bit pink like he was blushing, but the truth was it was hot inside and he drank a few shots with the boys. Could it be the alcohol alone, that could bring down the Captain?

All of us started to show the signs of being drunk, or at least being a bit tipsy, when we ordered some food, to eat, so we wouldn't pass out in the pub we were in. While we were eating some delicious Asian food, I felt something touched my left thigh. I didn't need to look down to know what was it. It was the Captain’s thigh. I don't know if it was the alcohol or not, but something in me started to boil at that slight touch. I felt warmer and like I got hit with a flash of lightning. I just cleared my throat as I made a little distance between our legs.

Nah, it was just weird, the feeling itself, I never felt like this before, just by a slight touch. I was wondering how it would feel if he just—

"Miss Kang, you don't look good, are you okay?" I heard his low voice coming from beside me. The others laughed loudly about something.

I cleared my throat once again. "Yes, of course I am," I said confidently as I turned my head and looked at him. Our eyes met and it felt like those eyes ignited something in me and I instantly was caught on fire. The fire was burning in my eyes, that was mirrored in his eyes. He couldn’t deny it, because it was there, I saw it and we both knew that we wanted each other.

"Miss Kang seems a bit ill, I'll take her out to get some fresh air." The Sergeant said while he didn’t even look at the others, the eye contact couldn’t be broken because if it did the world would collapse.

Then he stood up and helped me out of the booth, when his hand touched mine, I felt like I got hit with something electric. I didn’t even dare to look at the others and what they might see, what was happening between us.

When we went towards the door, he held it for me so I could go out first. The chilly air immediately hit my face like it was a brick wall as I pulled on my coat, so it would be warmer somehow. It felt nice, finally coming out of that warm room.

"Come!" I heard his demanding voice from behind as I turned to watch him go into the alley next to the pub. I followed him as his wide shoulders were in sight in front of me, his black coat flowing after him, when he took a turn to the right into the alley.

"I am sincerely okay, there's no need to—" I said as I followed him into the alley, barely being able to keep up with him, but I was interrupted by being pushed against the brick wall.

As I opened my eyes after squeezing them shut from the sudden impact I looked up at a feral-looking Captain, staring down at me like he was going to eat me whole, right there. And I didn't even have the time to ask what was happening, because suddenly I felt warm and hungry lips on mine. My mind was full of dark fog and I couldn't think clearly. It seemed his brain was also fogged because when I kissed him back without a thought, his hands immediately cupped my face to get better access. The kiss was hungry and desperate and I would've thought about the bad things this kiss might lead us to, or the consequences or the reasons. But I couldn't care less at that moment. I was curious about how it might feel to get more of him. And this. This was insane. I felt like I was losing my mind like my body would burn into ashes in his hands.

I buried my hands into his hair on his nape. It felt soft and so good. He let out a low groan at that as his hands left my cheeks just to push me more into the brick wall behind me by my waist. His lean body, pushed flesh against me, when he bit my lower lip hard, asking for permission. I was on the verge of letting out a moan at that, but my ego didn't let it. I just parted my lips and his tongue was immediately inside my mouth, discovering every inch of it, then finding my tongue to invite it for a dance. I felt like I might explode at any moment like a firework that was already lit. I didn't even realize the desire I felt towards him was this deep. Deep like the deep water I hated so much, where undiscovered beasts were lurking around in the bottom of it, to catch you when you don't pay attention. He was the beast and I was the innocent human swimming around. He caught me with his mouth and I couldn't get free. We shouldn't do this, we couldn't.

When we separated after what felt like minutes, we breathed hot air against each other's mouths. A string of saliva connected our lips like it was impossible for us to separate, as our foreheads were pushed together. His hands were still on my waist pulling me close to him like I might run away at any time. My thoughts were running around, and I couldn’t think, of a single sentence to say, I was shocked yet it was the best thing that happened to me after a while.

"Shit!" This was all I could say out loud. I didn't know why, or what it meant I just said it.

I felt as he nodded against my forehead. "Yeah…"

"We shouldn't have done it," I whispered as he pulled away a bit, his hands still pulling me close to him.

"I know…" He whispered as he looked into my eyes like he was scared I might disappear.

But then. The dark thoughts came, that hunted me all the time like they were some demons, that tried to chase away the good things that could happen to me. I was doomed to feel sad and empty all the time. And they came in questions like, what if he just needed some distraction away from the strict life he was living? What if he was married and had kids? What if I was just an escape for him from that cruel world?

All I needed was these questions to see things clear, then my hands reached to his that was on my waist just to somehow get them to release me. I stepped out from the cage he made with his huge body, putting a little distance between us.

"Look, if you just need some distraction, then go to the other side of the street and you can get anyone you want." I pointed towards the end of the alley where I saw a few women standing and inviting strangers into the nightclub.

"No, it's not that, Y/n!" He never called me by my name. He stepped closer and I saw a little guilt appear in his eyes.

"Then what is it?" My voice got louder a bit, and my emotions started to drown me. Suddenly it was all too much for me.

"I—I don't know, okay?" He nervously brushed his hair out of his sight as his voice got louder as well.

I scoffed at that. "Right, you don't know. Where is that confident Captain, who shouted at me all the time when I did something wrong? Should I do the same? It was a fucking mistake and you know we can't do shit like this." My voice turned out to be harsher as I wanted but I just honestly was so out of my mind.

"I know, I know it was a fucking mistake," He shouted back at me as he seemed just as confused as me. "But what can I do when all I can think of is you?" He continued suddenly and we both froze at that. Me, because of what he said, and he because he actually said it out loud.

All I could do was chuckle at that. "Yeah, right, about me…" I scoffed as I said.

He then stepped closer to me, like a predator hunting its prey. "Don't you feel the same?" He whispered as he leaned closer to my lips. I did, and I wanted to kiss him so bad, but…

"No, I don't. And I'm glad, because what would you do? I would be instantly fired if they would find it out." I looked into his eyes seriously, I couldn’t read his face again, his mask that fell for a few minutes was back.

"They wouldn't fire you out, I wouldn't let them." His voice came out a bit desperate like he wanted to convince me it was the right thing to do.

 "I want to do this, do this on my own not with some privileges. You would be an advantage for me, I could use you easily. Would you like that?" I asked as I lifted his chin with my finger. Just this one time, I wanted to show him that he wasn't the only one who could take advantage of the other.  

"I didn't think you would be someone who would do that." He said with a serious tone, his gaze piercing at me while he took off my finger from his chin.

I just shrugged. "You don't know me at all, Captain." And I just turned, leaving there a confused and disappointed Captain standing in the empty alley. Something that started with burning desire now was destroyed by the ugly truth.

Even though we wanted the other, we weren't in a situation where we could give in to our desire. We wavered for a few minutes, but everything needed to settle back to how it was, to continue. He was my Captain, and I was just a woman who wanted to be a soldier.

After that night, I wished it never happened. The training didn't stop and he was still the leader of my team. It was bad for both of us, we made a huge mistake that made my staying harder. I won't say things changed between us, but it definitely got worse. He was stricter with me, watching my every step and then shouting into my face. It was like this the whole time, but something was different when he looked at me, it seemed like it was burning with something like hatred, something like shame. I just barely looked at him, only when needed, wishing that the training camp was soon over and I hoped they were going to sign me as a soldier of the military. I just needed to get over this one week and then we might not see each other again.

But it was hard in the situations when he randomly caught me in the hall after I showered, pushed me against the cold wall, and crushed his lips against mine hungrily. I felt confused but the desire burning my body was much higher and I couldn’t think clearly. I just followed every rule he made, like I did when he commanded something. Our connection was like this all the time. He made the orders and I followed them.

And when he didn’t even wait for me to get out of the shower, was a bit over my boundaries. I was facing the wall as I was washing my hair when I felt two hands around my waist, that felt like cold chains. I knew it was him because when I looked down at the hands, there was that familiar golden ring, that made me feel guilty all the time he touched me.  

“Oh my God, what are you doing?” I whispered as I looked over my shoulder. It was late in the night, but there were a few people still showering.

He softly kissed my shoulder, kissing the way up to my neck, to my ears. “I want you.” He whispered as I barely could hear it, the water coming from the shower head was loud enough to close the sounds out. I felt his naked body leaning against mine. I felt my heartbeat in my ears, all my body was throbbing from the different kinds of emotions.

“We can’t…” I said as I leaned my head on his shoulders giving him more access to my neck. I was officially an idiot.

I sighed and slowly turned around to push him away. I felt ashamed and shy all of a sudden. It was the first time he saw me naked and I saw him naked. His body was perfectly muscled, his abs were a clear view, and before my eyes would’ve gone a little downer, I stopped myself. It wasn’t the time to wander around.  

“Please, just stop.” I looked at him with begging eyes.

The water was still falling on us, his hair got wet as he combed his hand through the wet strings. “I’m so sorry, Y/n,” He ran his hands through his face frustrated like he wanted to clear his mind. “I just…you drive me crazy, okay? I never felt like this, I never felt like I wanted someone by my side every minute.” He admitted as he put some distance between us, trying not to drown me.

The bathroom fell into an agonizing silence as only the water sound broke it. “Okay, but you can’t just fucking come in when I fucking shower.” My voice rose a bit as I got nervous, trying to hide my body with my hands. I felt vulnerable and I hated this feeling.

“Shit, sorry, I-I really—” It seemed like he just realized what he was doing. That fog in his mind must be dark. His eyes looked at the wet floor, not even daring to look at me. He looked like a wet stray dog, asking for shelter. “Please come to my room when you are finished and let’s talk.” He didn’t even look at me when he wanted to exit the cabin, but then he stopped and looked at me with desperate eyes. “Can I kiss you?”

“Oh my God, just leave already!” I wanted to hit him playfully; he just couldn’t be this desperate I couldn’t be mad at him anymore.

But he caught my wrist suddenly. “I leave after you gave me a kiss.” He whispered as he pulled me closer to him by my wrist.

“You are soo…” I said with a slight smile as I leaned close to his lips and pecked it softly. “Now you may leave,” I said as I pulled away to look into his sharp eyes and his now pouty lips.

I sighed, “You can’t be helped,” I leaned closer again and just bit on his pouty lower lip I didn’t know if it was a good idea because I heard him groan at that and he slowly, very carefully put his hands on my waist to walk me back to the cold wall. His lips were on mine in seconds the water now was fully flowing on us, making the kiss more wet. Our lips moved along the other’s slow, but hungry. His hands slowly travelled up on my sides, one hand cupping my jaw and the other on my throat as he pushed me more onto the wall. I let out a moan at that, the air stuck in my throat because of his hand. I couldn’t stop and I just didn’t want to.

His hand from my throat travelled around my body, discovering every inch of my wet body when his hands stopped on the back of my thighs and he lifted me up against the wall. His lips were still moving against mine desperately, with a burning passion that both of us just couldn’t stop. Then all I could feel was his full length inside me, reaching every spot I didn’t even know existed. The bathroom was full of the desperate noises we let out as we reached the top together.

Then he just left me there with the words ‘I’m waiting for you in my room’ and I just fell on the bathroom floor, the water still falling on me unstoppably like the sudden emotions that drowned me. I started crying, I buried my hands into my hair and I just wanted to disappear from the Earth.

I always had problems controlling my feelings, but this was the worst. I hated myself because of what I just did. I didn’t know anything about this man. I didn’t know if he was married. I didn’t know if he just wanted to use me. I hated that we couldn’t talk.

And at that point, I just didn’t want to see him. I couldn’t because if I did, I would fall into his trap again, without a thought.

After I somehow put myself together I was desperately trying to wash his hands off my body, I went into my room and cried myself to sleep silently.

Today's training was one of the last. As we slowly got closer to the end, I looked back at how much I developed both mentally and physically. And the fact how close I felt towards my teammates all of a sudden. There was no other way for us than to adapt to this situation and work together. This situation made us friends and I would've never thought I might find friends that seemed true and honest. I was sure this was the best idea to sign up for this training camp…until the next training came...

Water. Water was the only thing I had feared my whole life. It took my family from me, and I would never get over it.

The trauma runs deep in my bones—just as deep as the oceans where those monsters lurk. The water stole my family, its merciless hands dragging them down, refusing to let them survive. I can still hear my mother’s screams, muffled by the depths, her lungs filling with saltwater as she sank further and further. My father followed after her, swallowed by the abyss.

I had nightmares about this scene all my life, I was glad when somehow my brain decided it was enough. And to my surprise, since I was in the training camp, they never came. Like my brain built a brick wall that was so strong it kept the demons outside—well some of them. It was probably because we trained all day, we needed to be there mentally as well and I was always exhausted after a day, I was knocked out almost every time I reached my bed.

And now we were standing next to a swimming pool, deep and clear. Its blue-looking water not even moving. I was scared to my bones, but this wasn't the ocean, it was just a pool and some divers would save me if something happened. I needed to face my fears.

"Attention!" Sergeant Choi shouted as he was standing in front of us. "Today's exercise is not about teamplay, it's an individual task. You have to face one of the hardest obstacles. Water." As he said the word, my heartbeat quickened and I felt like I might get a heart attack at any time. I closed my eyes to close out the thoughts that whispered to run far away from there. I couldn’t even think about him, about the other night where everything just fucked up.

"Miss Kang, is there any problem?" As I opened my eyes at the voice, I saw him standing in front of me, and behind his serious mask, I saw a little worry hiding in his eyes.

"No, Captain!" I shouted back looking confident. He looked at me for a few seconds just to make sure it was true then walked away up to the jumping-board that was five meters high.

"The first task is simple, when I blow the whistle you run here, climb up the ladder, and jump into the pool without any hesitation!" he shouted from up there as we looked up at him. His voice was echoing around like the demons that whispered to run louder and louder.

I was the third in the line. Wooyoung started the exercise, he ran without any hesitation, climbed up, and jumped without a thought. It was impressive, but if I weren't scared of the water, I would've said it was an easy task. And then it was my turn and I was so deep in my thoughts I didn't even hear the whistle for a moment. Then I felt Jongho push me a little to get back and then, everything was in slow-motion again, as I was running towards him, climbing up, running beside him, and jumping without any hesitation. And when I collided with the water, I felt like I was my mom who couldn't get to the surface. Who was screaming but no one heard it. Then it felt like my body was separated from my mind because I jumped from the bottom to push myself up, and then my lungs could finally feel the air coming into my lungs as I was breathing like I was stuck there for at least five minutes. I swam to the edge of the pool and Jongho helped me out of the pool immediately.

"Hey, are you okay?" I felt as he grabbed my cheeks to look into his eyes. It was blurry for a few seconds but I nodded, not being able to speak.

I couldn't believe I did it. It seemed impossible for me, yet I was standing there all soaked but proud of myself because I jumped into the pool despite the fears I had. And it felt so good, I couldn’t describe it, but I felt so proud of myself, facing my fears and then fighting against them. It felt like a few of the demons disappeared and they didn't whisper to me to run anymore.

"Miss Kang! Is everything all right?" I heard the sergeant shout down at us with clear worry in his voice.

I breathed quickly, trying to get myself to speak somehow. "Yes, Captain!" My voice choked a bit as I looked up at him straight into his eyes. He knew something was up. It seemed like he knew every thought of mine, even though we barely knew each other, I was sure he analyzed all of us here and had a whole document about our personalities.

"Next one!" He shouted with the stopwatch in his hands.

I was glad no one noticed anything from my inner turmoil, so I just focused on the others doing the task.

When everyone finished, we were standing in one line again, the sergeant in front of us.

"Great job everyone! I have to tell you; it was impressive and this is what I expect from the team!" He clapped his hands two times with a slight smile. He started to grow closer to us too, he needed to admit it. "But it's not over, the real job comes now!" His face switched to serious. "As you can see there are hoops in the swimming pool," He turned to point at the hooks. "You just have to get there," He turned back to face us. "Seems simple, huh?" He raised his eyebrows. "But it's not, because it's all about the mentality and to avoid unnecessary stress. Your hands and legs are going to be tied up!" Silence took over the place and everyone looked at him like it was a joke.

"The pool is going to get deeper and deeper as you get closer to the hooks." He pointed at the pool again. "We soldiers have a technique for situations like this. It’s called survival bobbing. Your hands are going to be tied back, your legs together. At first, the pool is as deep as you, and your head is out. But. As it gets deeper you have to reach the bottom of it and jump up from the bottom to get air again, then down again, blowing the air out of your lungs to get to the bottom! This is how you will reach the hooks!" He shouted out the task we needed to do and we just looked at each other with the team, calling it impossible.

This exercise was the cruelest of all since we were here. "You need to stay calm, divers are keeping an eye on you, you won't die, and you won't drown. It's about fighting down the anxiety, the thoughts that say to us we can't do this!" He pointed at his head, while he tried to motivate us. "I believe all of you can do this! I chose you for my team because I knew you had the mentality of a real soldier! So, get into the water and don't disappoint me! This exercise is about you, not me, not your team, it's for you to fight your demons!" the sergeant shouted with all of the strength he had, almost deafening us.

I'm not going to lie; I was ready to say I couldn't do this. I wanted to give up. But after hearing the words he said, and that it was all about ourselves. Something just clicked in me, something just couldn't let me give up.

So, we were standing in the swimming pool, where the water reached our chests, our hands, and legs already tied as we were waiting for the sound of the whistle. I only could hear my heartbeat.

Thump

Thump

Thump

My heartbeat sounded like it was a gun shooting out a bullet. Then I heard the whistle from far away and I started to get into the water as I was sinking deeper and deeper. At first, it seemed easy until my feet could touch easily the bottom, but when I went deeper and I needed to be a lot more under the water than outside, something started to break in me, when the glass slowly started to crack, running through the glass, forming a root of an old tree. I tried to move forward, not giving up, his words echoing in my mind.

When I went down again after barely being up for one second and reached the bottom with my feet, at least three meters were above me. The hook was one meter away, I just needed to do it one more time and I was done.

But…the glass suddenly broke and the water ran over the gate unstoppably, the world slowed down and went a little dark. Suddenly I found myself somewhere else. I saw someone under the water. It was my mother. As the hands pulled her down into the dark. I wanted to save her, but I couldn't move. My feet were rooted, and my lungs were screaming for air, but the surface looked so far away that I thought my fate was the same as my parents. So, I just wanted my fate to be fulfilled…but as I looked up, I saw another figure swimming towards me desperately. They looked familiar but everything was so blurry under the water it was impossible to know. When the figure finally reached me… it felt like I was waiting for him my whole life. When his hands grabbed my unmoving body, I felt that familiar lightning going through my body, even though we were under the water I felt his warmth, which immediately melted the ice around my heart.

Then suddenly I was pulled out of the swimming pool, as I was sitting on the edge, the Captain was still in the water to make sure I made it out safely. I was breathing so fast I felt like I might choke as I started to cough water out of my lungs. Who knows how much I was underwater…time didn't exist for me down there.

"Fuck, Y/n, are you okay?" I felt as he pulled himself out of the water to sit next to me, his hands on my shoulder as they caressed my back. And then the glass that was already broken, broke more and I started crying. I couldn't even tell when was the last time I was crying, maybe at the funeral of my parents. I felt terrified but at the same time, I was just so disappointed, because I couldn't do it.

"Hey, Y/n! Look at me!" I felt as his hands searched for my face as I was still crouched forward, my legs still in the water.

When the wet hands found my cheeks and lifted my head to look at me, I broke once again. "I-I'm s-sorry," I sobbed as I turned towards him. "I-I couldn't…couldn't do it…" I was broken and out of my mind.

"No, no, no Y/n, calm down, please," I heard his calm voice as I looked into his eyes. He looked so worried and terrified. "Breathe with me, baby." He started to breathe in and out as I did the same his hands still cupped the sides of my cheeks. I already felt calmer when I looked at him, but I just did what he told me to do.

"Good job, baby, very good job!" he caressed my cheeks as he saw I started to calm down. "Now listen to me! That you even started the mission and gave it a try was already a success for me. I'm so proud of you, Y/n! You did what you could, and you already won, because you tried and didn’t run away!" His voice was soft and his sharp eyes were shining as he was looking at me, he seemed proud.

I nodded at that. "Y/n, are you okay?" I heard Jongho's voice from behind as he completed the task and saw that something was up.

And suddenly I realized we weren't alone, that everyone saw and probably heard how the captain calmed me down, and as I looked around, I saw eyes on me. Eyes that screamed pity. That was the last thing I wanted to see, I hated it. I wasn't a baby who needed pampering.

So, I quickly stood up, my world a little spinning but somehow, I found the door that led me out of the staring eyes. When I went outside it was already getting darker, the weather was a bit chilly—felt so freaking good with soaked hair and clothes… I didn't even know where I was heading, my feet just wanted to walk me far away from there.

"Y/N!" I heard a voice behind me—familiar, commanding. A part of me wanted to stop, instinctively obeying the tone. But after what had happened, I just couldn’t take him seriously anymore.

"Y/N, c'mon, where are you going?" The voice got closer and closer.

"Away from here, I'm done with this shit!" I shouted not even looking back.

Then I felt as if a hand grabbed my hand and swirled me around impatiently.

"You can't just leave everything behind!" His face was a mix of disappointment, sadness, and…something I could never name.

"Why not? Didn't I tell you? This was what I was talking about. I. AM. NOT. A. PRIVILAGE." I pointed my finger at him, hitting his chest with every word. "Treat me like you would treat my other teammates, Captain!" My voice quieted a little as I said.

He was staring down at the ground, he looked like he was a little cat and its owner just scolded him for breaking a vase. "It's San…" He whispered barely audible.

"What?" I frowned at him.

He looked up, straight into my eyes and his eyes were shining again, but because it was welled up with salty tears.

"My name is San…please call me San…" He said with a desperate look.

It was weird, I didn't even realize he had another name until here he was just Captain for me or Sergeant Choi, and hearing his name, which sounded so fitting for him just ran chills through my body.

And yet, I scoffed at that, "I wasn't curious about your name." I turned again ready to leave.

"I can't treat you like the others, and I won't!" I heard his confident voice again it made me freeze. Footsteps behind me, as I felt the distance between us close like he was a magnet, my body just sensed his presence since the first time I saw him. He came in front of me and slowly, carefully like I might bite, held my hands. "I won't treat you like the others, because you mean so much more for me than them. I don't know and I don't understand, but the first time I saw you, when you rolled your eyes at me," A slight smile appeared on his face as he was thinking back at the memory.

"Something just happened there, I just couldn't get you out of my mind. I was watching you from far away, the night first night when you needed to run as a punishment, when you were talking with your teammates. You seemed so nature-like, I just wanted to know you better." He seemed honest like he wasn't joking.

"And when I saw you down there when you didn’t move…I just felt the urge to protect you no matter what. Please just…" He then cupped my face as tears welled up in my eyes. "Please, forgive me! For the other night…I-I it wasn’t me, I am just so confused when I’m with you and I can’t control myself, I shouldn’t have done that and then leave you there, I was an asshole and I get it if you won’t forgive me because I do deserve that…” His voice was desperate and his eyes started to well up with tears.

“A-and I know I shouldn't have talked to you like that in front of the others, but I was so worried, Y/n," His voice cracked a bit as he got emotional.

A single tear rolled down my cheeks, straight into his palm, that held my cheeks, his face inches away from me as he leaned his forehead against mine, closing his eyes.

My hands lifted on top of his as I looked at his face, the lamppost lighting his face, where pain was only visible. "I…I'm sorry for shouting at you, you just wanted to help me, but I was so overwhelmed I didn't think clearly." His eyes opened at that, and he looked at me with something that seemed relief.

He shook his head, "You don't have to apologize, baby." He then took one of my hands and pecked the inside of my palm. Warmth trailed through my body at the gesture. Then our eyes met and I saw the same fire in his eyes as that night, but it was a lot brighter now.

“Who is Sierra?” I asked what I wanted from day one, but didn’t have the strength to hear the truth that I might not like.

He looked at me with round eyes as his hands now released mine. He seemed distant all of a sudden and I knew it was time to discuss some things.

“She’s my…” He started as he stared down at the ground. “She’s m-my little sister,” His voice was barely a whisper. “W-was my little sister.”

Tears started to flow down my cheeks at that, he looked so broken and vulnerable at that moment as his uniform was glued to his body.

I stepped closer to him as I slowly reached my hands to cup his face. His eyes were full of tears I never saw him this vulnerable. “I’m so sorry San,” I whispered with sincere understanding.

He held my hands that cupped his face. “I never knew my parents, I was too little when they left us with my little sister and we became orphans. My sister…got very sick when we were teenagers…” He looked empty as he looked back at the unwanted memory. “It was a disease that couldn’t be helped. It took her away…” His voice seemed sad but he didn’t cry, and it was a good sign because that meant he knew it wasn’t his fault.

I gently caressed his cheeks, my touch soft and understanding. "I'm so sorry, San. I wish I could have known her."

He looked at me as if he couldn’t believe I was really there. "I wish you knew her too. You’re both stubborn as hell."

Then, finally, he smiled—a smile I had missed so much, his dimples appearing with a quiet kindness. He lifted his hand between us where his ring was appearing on his finger. “This is the only thing that is left of my family. This is the Choi clan’s ring. And I know I should probably hate them for leaving us, but I just somehow can’t.” He looked down on the ring that he kept safe no matter what.

“I get it, we never know the reasons behind people’s actions…” I said as I was playing with his ring.

 He nodded at that with a slight smile, then he turned serious again. “What about you? What happened in the water?” Now it was his time to caress my cheeks gently.

I took a slow, deep breath in, then exhaled, trying to gather my thoughts. "We were on vacation when my father lost control of the car… and we plunged straight into the ocean. I was the only one who survived. Not even my sister…"

Tears spilled down my face again. "I’ve been an orphan ever since. I was only six years old."

"I'm so sorry, Y/N. That must have been so difficult for you." He leaned his forehead against mine. "But I’m so proud of you for making it this far on your own."

He whispered the words so gently, and yet they made my heart race. Finally—someone who truly understood me.

"Can I kiss you properly?" He whispered, his face still close to mine as he smiled at me, his dimples showing sweetly.

"Yes, please," I whispered close to his lips, and he immediately sealed our lips together. It was the opposite of our first kiss. It was slow and passionate; he tasted so good I was afraid I might get addicted to him. His hands traveled down to my waist and gently pulled me closer to him, as my hands went up onto his wet hair. Our lips moved against the other slowly, trying to crave this moment into memory for life. I felt like my body was a firework, exploding into the clear and dark sky just to paint the sky colorful like our hearts that became whole after all the hard obstacles we ran through on our own, now it seemed we found the purpose of our lives as our lips danced together, not wanting to separate. But as I opened my mouth and his tongue met mine, it started to get faster and hungrier. The desire creeps throughout our bodies, one of his hands traveling up my body, ending up at my nape.

"Mhhmm…" He hummed as he separated from me with a frown, him realizing we both were soaked. "I didn't know it could be better, but you are going to catch a cold. Quickly into my room, Miss Kang!" He said playfully with a beaming smile, then he cupped my face with a serious face. "And if you want to talk about it, I am here for you, okay? Always." He said his voice low and caring. 

I nodded at that and then he pecked my lips once again, sealing the promise he made. That he was going to be by my side despite the demons I needed to fight with. My heart was pounding so fast that I felt like the whole world was hearing it. An emotion that I was so unfamiliar with hit me suddenly, the emotion I only felt when I was with my parents…Love and happiness.

3 years later

Left-right heartbeat left-right heartbeat left-right

            All I could hear were those two words as my right leg followed my left. My mind was blank; all I could focus on was not stumbling, ensuring I didn’t break the perfect synchrony of our steps. I tried to steady my breathing, willing my racing heart to slow down. Around me, my teammates wore the same serious expressions—dying inside, each of us dreading what awaited us.

We marched two abreast, straight into a battlefield soaked in blood and gunpowder. My eyes narrowed on the leader of our line—he was right beside me, his stance unwavering, determined to win a battle we barely had a chance of surviving.

From my left, his face was sharp in profile, his jaw clenched as he held his gun close. Somehow, he sensed my gaze. He tilted his head slightly to the left, and our eyes met. In that brief exchange, I saw determination laced with something bitter—an unspoken fear that we might never see each other again.

At that moment, the past three years flashed before my eyes. The struggles we endured. The first time he told me he loved me. The day I took him to my parents’ grave and introduced him to them. The happiest day of my life���when he proposed, and I said yes. And then, the day everything changed—the moment we were told we had to go to war, thrown into a world unraveling into chaos.

As we pushed forward, the chaos of battle engulfed us, but through the gunfire and screams, I found clarity. I realized that, in the end, it wasn't just about survival. It wasn’t about the battles we fought or the enemies we faced. It was about the person standing beside me, the one who saw me for who I truly was, the one I had never expected to find here, in this war-torn world.

He wasn't just my comrade in arms; he was my reason to keep fighting, my reason to keep breathing. Together, we would face whatever came next, no longer just soldiers— but two souls bound by something stronger than the chaos around us.

And in the midst of the storm, I understood: we weren’t just fighting for victory. We were fighting for each other, and in that, we had already won.

<Ateez masterlist>

[sinnabarmoth]

Tribute for the Dragon (18/18)

(A/N: Just a quick thanks for all the love you guys have shown this fic! Means a lot! Love ya!)

Pairing: Dragon|Sylus x Fem|Reader

Summary: A happily ever after with your dragon.

Content Warnings: Adult language. Child birth.

Length: 2k

Chapters: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15) (16) (17)

Read on AO3

The flight back to your kingdom was long and Sylus did not stop until you were across the border. At that point you had told him to land near a stream. He didn’t question why, just dropped down as soon as he spotted some water.

“Are you alright?” he asked for the tenth time. “Do you need a rest? Something to drink? Eat?”

“No. I am fine.” you looked at him now, still covered head to toe in copious amounts of blood. It soaked into his hair and his skin. Every inch of him was died the same crimson as his eyes. “But you need to clean that off.”

Sylus looked down at himself and nodded. You gestured to the stream and he started washing the blood away. You tore off a piece of your skirt hem and dunked it into the water and wiped at his face.

You remembered being sat in the room underground when you heard the bells and alarms ringing. You had know immediately it was Sylus. The unending screams of pain and fear only confirmed it. Then that fucking general had come in to try and take you away, to try and threaten Sylus into letting him live, but his efforts were in vain. They had all died. Sylus ripped every last one of them to shreds just to get back to you.

You had been surprised for a moment when instead of the Sylus you knew a full dragon had busted in through the door. But you knew it was your dragon the second you saw him. He was large, black and red scaled armor with silver horns and spines down his back. His eyes were the same kind of molten red you had seen from Tengya on the beach, as if instead of eyes two pools of magma churned in his pupils. And all that you could think of was how happy you were to see him.

He was back to his normal form now, albeit completely naked, but that hardly mattered. Soon you would be home and all of this would be nothing but a horrible nightmare. You couldn’t wait that long to get this blood off though. So you helped him clean, wiping whatever blood you could off of him. Scooping water into your hands and scrubbing it out of his hair until it was silver again.

He reclined against you, staring up at your face. “I am so sorry.” he said. “I should never have left. They never should have been able to take you. This was all my fault.”

“No. It was not your fault, Sylus.”

“I left you. I left you all alone. I should have taken you to the village at the very least. I was insane to leave you by yourself.”

“Sylus--”

“What if they had hurt you worse than they did? What if they had done something to our child? I would never forgive myself. If…if the worse had happened…” tears cut rivers down his cheeks, “I don’t even want to think about it.”

“Then don’t.” you hugged him. “I am safe. Our baby is safe. What is done is done. We cannot change it. But you ensured that no one would ever come to harm us again and that is good enough for me.”

“I love you. I do.” he turned to face you fully, “I love you more than anything and I swear this will never happen again. I will defend you, body and soul with everything that I am.”

“Sylus…”

“You, the family we are growing, is my entire life. I love you both so much and I do not know what forces in the world allowed me to have you but I will thank them every day.” he pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“I love you too. I will love you forever and no matter what happens, I will always be here by your side. No force from the heavens, hells or this material world will take me from you. I promise.” You brought him close, kissing him tenderly. “I love you, Sylus. I will always love you.”

You sat there by the stream, half covered in blood and crying as you held one another. You were safe. You were together. That was all that mattered.

~~~

Sylus was anxious. He didn’t get anxious a lot but he was anxious as he stood pacing back and forth outside the room you were giving birth in. The women helping you had insisted it wasn’t a place for the men to enter and Sylus wanted to be respectful but with every pained cry that came from you on the other side of the door his agitation grew.

“You’re going to drive a rut into the floor.” your father warned him. “She’s in good hands. She and the baby will be fine.”

“I should be in there.” Sylus snapped. “Why can I not be?”

“Well, for one, your tail hasn’t stopped swishing like an angry cat’s. You’d probably hit someone or knock something over.” he explained, “But it is just how things are done. The women handle the birth, we cut the umbilical cord after they’re out.”

Every instinct in Sylus was telling him to get in the room. He needed to protect you. Protect you from what, he had no idea. But he felt so helpless and useless out here!

There was another loud cry from inside and Sylus snapped to the door. That was it! He wasn’t staying out here!

He opened the door to find you knelt on the floor. You looked up and smiled in relief, holding a hand out for him. “Sylus,”

He knelt next to you, “Right here. I’m right here.”

“He shouldn’t be--” one of the women tried to say.

“No! Don’t leave!” you squeezed his hand, “Please don’t leave!”

“I won’t. I’m not going anywhere.” Sylus shot a glare at the others, daring them to try and remove him. The others shrugged and went back to what they were doing.

“It hurts.” you muttered through clenched teeth. “It really fucking hurts!”

“I know. I know it does, little bird.” he wiped the sweat from your brow. “But it’ll be worth it. We’ll have our little one soon, you just have to endure it for a little longer.”

“Can’t believe I let you do this to me!” you snapped. “I hope you never have another rut!” He figured you were talking out of pain and didn’t mean what you were saying.

One of the women got behind you. “Alright, you’re ready. Time to start pushing. Deep breath, your body knows what to do. Gravity is gonna help us get this baby out quick.”

After several long tense minutes of you holding onto him for dear life, screaming and whimpering in pain as you pushed, the baby was out. A different kind of scream filled the air as your child took its first breath.

“You have a daughter.” the woman holding the baby said. “A perfectly healthy baby girl.”

Sylus cut the umbilical cord with his claw and let them wipe the baby off a bit before settling her in your arms. “She’s beautiful.” you were crying. The moment the baby’s head rested on your chest her cries stilled into little whimpers.

“Most gorgeous things I’ve ever seen.” Sylus couldn’t believe what he was looking at. This tiny thing was yours? They looked so normal, so human. “Hello, my heart,” he said. He receded the claws on his hands so he could hold her. “If you aren’t the most perfect thing in this world I do not want to know what could be better.”

“She is so little…” you cooed. “And she looks so human.”

“I told you she would. But make no mistake, this is a strong and fearsome dragon. That reminds me,” Sylus pulled a small jar out of his pocket. Inside was a small portion of the salve he had gotten from Tengya. He spread a small patch on the baby’s chest.

Once you had enough time alone, just Sylus, you, and the baby you began to let in the others.

“There’s my grandchild.” your father walked in. He came over and kissed your forehead. “You did so well, sweet pea.”

“Thanks papa.” you smiled. “Isn’t she the most precious thing?”

“That she is. So, did you two have a name picked out?” he asked.

“Selene.” you said. Your baby opened her eyes for the first time and you got a shock of brilliant red eyes, just like her father. You smiled, kissing her downy head. “Our little moon flower.”

~~~

As the years passed your family grew. You had two beautiful little girls and a third on the way. You were sitting at the mouth of the cave watching as Sylus was teaching Selene how to fly. Her wings had grown in fully and ever since there was not a moment she was on the ground. Your younger was sitting with you stewing in jealousy that she couldn’t go flying with them.

“Mama!” Ruby whined, “I want to go flying too! When will my wings grow in?”

“It will happen soon enough.” you assured her, “Besides, growing wings isn’t great. It’s really itchy and your back gets all scabby. Kinda like your horns did when they started growing, remember that? Don’t be in such a hurry.”

She crossed her arms and continued to pout until Sylus and Selene touched back down. “Did you see me mama!” Selene came running up to you. “I was flying all by myself!”

“I know! You did so well, sweetie!” you hugged her. “You’re getting to be real good.”

“She’s a natural.” Sylus came up and ruffled her hair. “Soon enough you’ll be flying circles around me.”

“Daddy!” your younger one yelled at him, “I want to fly too!”

“Ruby,” you warned, “Don’t yell. Ask nicely next time you want to go flying.”

Her frown deepened. “Mama’s a meanie!”

“I’m not being mean--”

“Meanie!”

“Hey,” Sylus snapped at her. “That’s not very nice to say. Your mama is just trying to teach you to be polite and now you’ve gone and hurt her feelings.”

“But--”

“No buts. Apologize to your mama and maybe I’ll take you out for a flight.” Sylus turned her around and pushed her towards you.

“I’m sorry mama.” she said, staring down at the ground. “Can I go flying now?”

“I forgive you, sweetie. But dinner should be finished cooking soon so maybe after you eat.”

“Oh, I think we have time for a quick flight around the mountain.” Sylus picked her up and put her on his shoulders.

“Sylus--”

Before you could object he jumped off the side of the mountain and flew up high, your daughter roaring with joyous laughter the entire time. You looked over at Selene who watched them with burning jealousy. You sighed. “Go on. Make sure your father and sister don’t stay out too long. Dinner will be ready in ten minutes.”

“Will do mama!” Selene beamed and flew to join the others, albeit it a little slower and more awkwardly. She was getting there though.

You pulled yourself out of your chair and wandered back to the kitchen to check on the food. It was hard to believe it some days. Waking up with Sylus next to you, the girls running in to see you the moment they woke up.

It was hard to get alone time with those two tornadoes running around but there were days you sent them down to the village to stay with your father or their Auntie Tara. They were so full of life and joy. You couldn’t wait to have another even if you knew three of these little monsters was going to be exhausting.

Much like Sylus had said when you were pregnant with Selene, the girls were born looking exactly like humans but as they got older more dragon like features started to grow. Selene had horns and wings and her father’s bright red eyes, but so far no claws. Ruby though almost immediately started sprouting a tail which Selene didn’t have and was starting to grow in her horns. She wouldn’t have to worry about wings for about two more years, if she grew them at all.

You traced a hand over your stomach. You wondered what this one would be like. Maybe it’d be a boy this time.

A few minutes later Sylus and the girls came running back in, their faces windstung and bright. The girls immediately went to setting the table and Sylus walked over to you, hugging you from behind. “Smells good.” he said.

“Thanks. I decided to try this new recipe Tara gave me.” you gave the pot another stir.

“Wasn’t talking about the food.” he whispered before pulling your face towards his for a kiss.

“Ew! Daddy! Stop that!” Selene said. “You’re being gross!”

“I’m showing your mother how much I love her. What’s gross about that?” he shot back. “You two go clean up before you start eating.”

The girls ran out of the room leaving you alone. “Very subtle.” you elbowed him lightly. “I’m already pregnant, you can’t put another kid in me yet.”

“I know. But it is never a waste to practice.” his hands ran over the bump in your belly. “Just six more of these to go.”

“One more!” you elbowed him harder this time. “I have told you a hundred times I’m not popping out nine kids.”

“I can’t help it.” he spun you around, “You know how dragons like to hoard treasure.”

“Our kids are treasure now?”

He smiled softly, holding you close. “Of course. The most precious in the world, right next to you.”

[lycheedr3ams]

Death's Angel

Part 8: On Angel Wings

royal!fem!reader x executioner!konig

Summary: It's 1554. You're one of the eight daughters of the Austrian royal family, and your parents do everything they can to ensure their kingdom is prosperous and peaceful. No royal court is complete without their hand-picked executioner, one who stands out against the sea of black, faceless bodies that make up the profession. It just so happens that your family's new executioner, one who has made a name for himself far and wide for his skill with the axe, has caught your eye and ruined you for good.

Warnings: MDNI! smut, mutual pining, forbidden love, death (konig is an executioner duh), mean sisters, mentions of medieval-type violence, overbearing parents, konig is brooding and a perv, some predator/prey dynamics, possessive!konig, maybe dark themes bc reader likes seeing him kill people and bc he's a perv?

Part 7

I can't thank you all enough for the support i've gotten on this fic! this fic is what made my blog big and i just can't believe it's been so well-received. don't worry, it's a happy ending!!! also I'm sorry this took so long...I hope you guys like the ending. I'm super nervous my writing quality on this story went down, but maybe I'm too critical of my work. in any case, I hope you guys enjoy!

.......

series inspired by the art below!

you weren't sure how much time passed when you woke up in a warm bed. you blinked open your eyes and rubbed the exhaustion out of them. you looked around the room, and noticed konig sitting right by your side.

"Engel?" he asked softly. you had never heard his voice so tender.

"what happened?" you asked. you tried to sit up, but were immediately struck with a sharp pain in your chest. konig gently pushed you back down on the bed.

"lay down, Engel. you are hurt. you need to rest."

you looked down at your chest, and realized that it was wrapped with bloodied bandages. your dress was nowhere to be seen, but the blanket covered your lower half.

"what happened? where are we?" you asked as you could feel panic rising.

"we are somewhere we will never be found by anyone who wishes to separate us," konig said quietly. "you..." he couldn't finish his sentence as he cleared his throat.

"i what?" you asked.

konig shook his head. "you protected me. it is not supposed to be that way. i am supposed to protect you, and i couldn't." konig's head hung low in shame, his eyes now completely obscured from you.

you suddenly remembered everything that had happened right up to when the sword fell. your heart raced.

"i...my body just acted on its own. it was like i didn't have control over myself. it just happened." you thought for a long moment, and it was silent. konig's head still hung low.

"i don't regret it, though," you said firmly. konig looked at you in confusion.

"i promised to protect you, and here you are, laying in a bed soaked in your own blood," he said quietly as his eyes glassed over.

you smiled. "it's okay. i would do it again if i had to. but where are we? what happened to the knights?"

konig was silent for a little while. you closed your eyes.

"we are in france now. a little countryside town. after the soldiers patched you up, they realized that you weren't lying. they agreed to pretend that it never happened. but they will be back in a week, to make sure this is what you really want." his voice was quiet as he spoke.

"so...my parents and siblings still think i've been kidnapped?"

konig nodded.

"no. they need to know that you are not in the wrong. they need to know that i chose this."

"i don't know if that's a good idea," konig said after a moment. "they will say I brainwashed you."

"i don't care what they will say. if they don't believe me, that's on them. i will have the soldiers take a letter to them once they go back, and i will never speak to them again," you decided.

konig stared at you for a long while. he gently took your hand and stroked it with his thumb.

"i am sorry things turned out this way," he whispered as he looked at your hand.

you shook your head. "i wouldn't have it any other way, konig. i'm with you, and we can have our own life here. what is this town like?"

konig still stroked your hand as he spoke. "there are lavender fields surrounding the town, and a small forest to the east. there is an empty plot of land where a house can be built. the people are kind, and it is quiet and peaceful."

you smiled. "it sounds perfect."

konig brought your hand up to his lips as he lifted his hood to kiss the back of your hand. "i will make it up to you."

"there is nothing to make up, konig," you assured him with a smile. "everything will be okay now."

konig shook his head. "i will give you the life you deserve, my princess. i will build a house for you, and you can have as many gardens and animals as you like. you will have the finest sheets once again, and you will never want for anything."

you smiled. "as long as i have you, i will never want."

...

several months later

You walk out of the cottage that Konig had built for you and him on this warm morning. the birds are chirping and a gentle breeze blows over the lavender fields to the right of your cottage. you smile to yourself as you breath in the scent of lavender, and hear your sheep, ducks, and goats already waking up for the day. your garden, fenced off with bushes and a trellis with roses, blooms brilliantly in the morning sun.

konig quietly comes up behind you and wraps his strong scarred arms around you. he nuzzles your head gently with his nose and smiles underneath his hood.

"good morning, my Engel," he whispers gently to you. he speaks those four words to you every single morning. some may regard it as just a morning custom, but you know that konig never wastes any of his words. those four words every day, reserved only for you.

"good morning, konig," you smile up at him and gently hold his arms as they're wrapped around your waist. your goats bleat a few times, and you and konig share a gentle laugh.

...

life has been peaceful ever since the hell you and konig had gone through. you sent the letter to your parents, telling them the truth about your relationship with konig: how you weren't brainwashed, you didn't like being a princess, and this was the life you chose for yourself. your parents begged you to come back, their handwriting betraying their nerves and worry. but you never wrote to them again.

konig built this cottage for you in no time, and you two built your life together in this small countryside town in France. you helped out at the local bakery most days, tended to your farm animals every morning, checked your garden several times a day. you cooked warm meals for konig, which he always ate gratefully.

konig was no longer an executioner. he decided to leave that part of him in the past for your sake to build a peaceful life with you. the strong, calloused hands that once gripped axes to chop people's heads off now gripped saws and hammers and other tools to build houses, make horse shoes, craft swords. konig never spoke about it, but the gentle look in his eyes that grew as he got accustomed to normal life was something you always noticed and loved.

you two make a modest living; no more silk and fine china, but you couldn't have cared less. living life every day, doing what you wanted, you forgot about the endless want that material possessions creates. for the first time in your life, you are happy. you no longer had to worry about perfectly adjusting your hair, tying your corset, or matching your dress to the occasion each day. your hair changed each day based on your mood, and your clothing was simple and comfortable. no one told you where you had to be or when, you no longer had to watch every word that was spoken. you are free.

...

you hand konig his lunch basket for the day with a sweet smile, packed with fruits and bread and some salted meat. he rubs your head affectionately and kisses your forehead through his hood.

"danke, Engel."

"have a good day," you smiled up at him as you hugged his muscular chest. you gently tap his chin over his hood, and he smiles at your little signal and presses a chaste, gentle kiss on your lips. you watch as he descends the porch and walks to town.

you weren't sure exactly where you and Konig's lives were going to lead, but among your farm animals and garden and cottage and his arms, none of that mattered. the only thing you cared about was living each day with konig, living a normal life. you taught him what it meant to live, to breathe, to create things that made life better rather than take it away.

and even though you are no longer a princess, you will always be his angel.

taglist: @kneelingshadowsalome, @plumdreadful, @dumb-dumb-idiot-girl, @elichisstuff, @konig-breedme, @tr4psta, @cutiecusp, @konigsleftkidney, @local-vampire-s1ut, @ihaveaproblematicbrain, @twice360noscope, @madzeesstuff, @crazy-phan-girl13, @babygirl-panda19, @warrior-of-justice, @eluffi, @mooniesthings, @elowynnlane, @zaxlrza, @red-bed-bug, @alexdoesntlikeyou, @helmipss, @11aplacesange11, @rouge-swears, @pasta-m1lk, @ghostinvenus

[jangofettjamz]

Stay with me

Jenna Ortega x Autistic!Male!Reader

TW: Depression, Self Harm, General Unhappiness

Summary: Jenna discovers your ongoing depression.

2nd Person POV

Three weeks.... three long weeks of loneliness. You had all but isolated yourself from the world, not to be seen by anyone. Your family and friends constantly worrying about you and your whereabouts. But you didn't care. You just didn't care anymore.

Your sleeping pattern was completely destroyed, eating habits fluctuating between eating too much or too little or just not eating at all. Hygiene was at an all time low, snack packets littered the house like a landfill.

You felt defeated, conquered. You couldn't even get out of bed to check the time. The only thing you could hope for is the mattress to swallow you whole removing you from the world; not that it'd make a difference. So you kept telling yourself.

You lay in your bed staring at the ceiling for what feels like hours, only to be disrupted by the ringing of your cell phone on your nightstand. You almost didn't lean over to see who it was but curiosity had its way with you and forced you to look. It was Jenna.

Embarrassment radiated through your body having not even thought about how your absence might effect her. Your reached out your arm to pick it up and hovered your thumb over the answer icon.

Mustering up the courage, you finally answer the phone and gave the best performance you could to ensure her that you were fine. "Hello"

"Y/N? Baby are you alright? No one's heard from you for weeks! I've been trying to call you and went to your door multiple times, babe." Regret. Thats what you felt the moment she expressed her worry for your well being. How could you be so selfish?

Still you persisted in trying to convince her "I'm fine, Jen. Really I am. I've just been really really busy at work; barely any time to myself" you fake laugh.

Jenna saw right through your facade "Really..? Because I called your boss and they said you haven't turned up for work in about a week and a half and I haven't seen you for three. Honey you know I'm the first one to call if you ever need help, so why won't you let me in?"

She was pleading, something you had a very emotional reaction to. The last thing you ever wanted to hear from her was pleading. "Jen... its... *sniffles* "

Jenna doesn't back down "Y/N... please... Tell me what's wrong"

"I... I can't get out of bed... my bed is a mess and so is my room. I feel sick to my stomach and I..." you held back tears.

"Go on, sweet boy it's okay. Tell me what's going on" She says with pure softness in her voice. No hint of contempt.

"I hurt myself. I've been hurting myself, Jenna" There it was, an admission. With your pride broken and tears down your face you confessed to your girlfriend about your dangerous little habit.

"I'm coming over. I'll be there in 5 minutes tops." You can already here her bustling around her house looking for her car keys. You were sobbing from the guilt. "Hey Hey l sweet boy it's okay. I'm not mad I promise. We're gonna get you cleaned up and figure this out together, okay?"

"O-okay.... I love you, Jennie..." you sniffle as you call her your little affectionate nickname.

"I love you too, sweet bunny. I'll be there very soon." She blew a kiss through the phone before hanging up.

*Five minutes later*

Jenna opened the front door via the spare key, her eyes taking in the mess of the living room. She couldn't focus on that right now, instead she made her way up to your bedroom and knocked the door.

"Y/N? Bunny are you in there?" She called out to you but you refused ti answer, hoping that she would leave and not see you in your pathetic state. "Babydoll I'm gonna come in now, okay?"

The sound of the door opening made you hide under the covers from the fear of judgment; her judgement. However, that never came. The footsteps drew closer and closer and you felt a hand remove the sheet you were hiding under.

The state she saw you in broke her sweet heart, wanting nothing more than to just pick you up in her arms and shield you from everything despite the height difference. "Oh sweet boy... hey... it's only me"

That did it. The dam of tears collapsed on itself and you bawled like a child leaving Jenna to pick up the pieces. "Shhh, sh, sh, sh it's okay baby. You're safe I promise. It's only me in here, no one else." Her hands went through your greasy hair, evidence of your lack of hygiene the last few days."

"I-I'm sorry for n-not calling you J-Jenna..." you wanted to give her a thousand apologies and you didn't even know why.

Jenna shut down your apologies immediately "its okay bunny you did absolutely nothing wrong. You're just going through a very hard time right now." Even in the dimly lit room she could see the marks on your forearm, but didn't draw any attention to it; nit yet anyway.

"My love why don't you have a shower, hmm? Or bath up to you. While you do that I'll clean up your room and check up on you afterwards. You have any clean bedsheets for me, angel?" She asked sweetly.

"In the basket downstairs with all the other clean washing" you answered lowly.

She gave you a loving kiss to your forehead "Thank you. But before you take a bath, can I clean your cuts? I'll be gentle I promise" you were hoping she'd just ignore the cuts, but they do need to be cleaned. You nodded your head with lingering shame.

She helped you to the bathroom, which was thankfully clean and sat you on the toilet seat. Jenna grabbed the first aid kit and got to work "Honey I need to clean the cut of dirt first before I disinfect it. Can you put your arms under the sink for me?" You did as you were told "That's my good boy there you go. Just hold your arms under for a few minutes"

It stung but you weren't expecting it to be painless. After the wound was clean of any dirt she started to disinfect "You're doing such a good job for me, bunny. So brave for me" she praised. You truly did not deserve this woman

"These dressings are waterproof so you can bathe with them, but try not to get it too wet, okay?" You nodded at her instructions and she proceeded to run the bath. While the water ran she rubbed your back and rocked you to keep you calm and not overstimulated.

"Alright baby it's bath time" She helped you into the bath with a gentle guidance. The temperature felt just right, something you were very grateful for. The last thing you wanted was to be overstimulated from how the water felt on your sensitive skin.

While you cleaned yourself, Jenna cleaned the bedroom from all the junk and replaced the bedsheets. She wanted to ask so many questions but she knew not to overwhelm you in your extremely vulnerable state.

Around 35 minutes after you got in the bath you finally decided you were clean enough. Your hair was clean and fresh and the body odre was gone. You grabbed a towel and went back to your room to find Jenna sitting on the now clean bed inside your now clean room.

She tapped the bed signalling you to sit down next to her. Once you did she instantly wrapped her arms around your fragile body in a protective hold refusing to let go. "Sweetheart what happened?" The inevitable question was finally asked, you couldn't really narrow it down to one event since it's been building up for a while.

"I... its been building up for a while. I started feeling unhappy for about a year and it just escalated from there. You know I've been going to therapy and stuff but it just kept getting worse and worse... I didn't think I'd start hurting myself... *sniffle* I feel so stupid" you started crying heavily again

"Shhhhh you're not stupid baby boy, not stupid at all. You're just going through so so much and you felt like you needed some form of release from all the stress regardless of what it was. But please don't feel like you can't let me in, I wanna help my precious baby whether be physically or mentally." She wiped your tears with the pad of her thumbs and held your very close.

"I know you had your reasons for doing this bubs and they're completely valid, but please let me help you. There's better ways than this I promise. I don't wanna lose you, bunny. You're too precious to me to lose, I love you so so much and I need you here with me. I need you to stay with me baby."

You weakly nodded at her words, you knew this wasn't going to be an easy road ahead but she was going to help you navigate it together. "I won't leave, Jenna. I promise."

"That's my perfect angel..." the two of you share a loving deep kiss, only sealing the love you two felt for one another. She pulled back and looked into your eyes. "So gorgeous. My perfect boy" the praise made you tear up again which made her hold you against her chest and lay down on the bed.

"You're gonna be okay, Y/N. I'm here now, everything's gonna be okay. Such a good boy for me, it's all gonna be okay." And you really believed her, despite everything you've went through you fully believed her words. Jenna cradled you in her arms in whispered sweet words, pulling you into a safe space where you felt nothing was wrong.

"How about we get some pizza and chill for the next few days. Its the weekend and I've missed you a bunch. Maybe we can even go somewhere tomorrow, whaddya say?"

"Okay. Dominoes?"

"Whatever you want, sweet boy. I'd do anything to make you happy" Those words brought a smile, a small smile but a smile nonetheless.

And that made Jenna very very happy

A/N: This hasn't been proofread so the spelling/grammar/punctuation might be shit. Sorry I've been M.I.A but I've been really down lately and that's putting it lightly. I haven't forgotten about you guys and I hope this fic can make it to you.

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

Cartoon Movement

* * * *

A new way forward—for good!

November 5, 2024

Robert B. Hubbell

Nov 04, 2024

As we head into Election Day, I don’t want to tell you how to feel. Instead, I will describe how I am feeling. I hope it is helpful.

I am feeling confident because we have done everything asked of us—and more.

I am feeling confident because we have enthusiasm and momentum on our side.

I am feeling confident because Kamala Harris has run a nearly flawless campaign.

I am feeling confident because I know that women are determined to reclaim their status as full citizens under the Constitution.

I am feeling confident because Democrats have consistently overperformed the predictions of pollsters and pundits in every election since 2020.

I am feeling confident because pollsters and pundits have underestimated the power of the grassroots movement that has engaged tens of millions of Americans as never before.

I am feeling confident because of the professionalism and dedication of local Democratic Party organizations.

I am feeling confident because Kamala Harris has shown us a new way forward that focuses on the good in the American people rather than on their grievances and divisions.

I am feeling confident because I know that the new way forward that has emerged over the last eight years is a change for good that will persist and prevail long after we are gone.

I am feeling confident because I know we aren’t going back—no matter what happens in any race decided on Election Day 2024.

I am feeling confident because we are standing on the shoulders of generations of Americans who sacrificed their lives, liberty, and security so that we could arrive safely at this moment of opportunity and promise.

I am feeling confident because I know that we will ultimately prevail in the larger battle for the soul of America.

I know that we are not guaranteed success. I know that polls continue to show a race allegedly closer than any presidential and congressional election in modern history. I know we could suffer disappointment—but I also know that we can survive, endure, and prevail over any loss. We have done so before, and we can do so again.

In my moments of doubt and worry, I am drawn to the memory of 25-year-old John Lewis, who led 600 marchers across Edmund Pettus Bridge on Bloody Sunday, March 7, 1965. On that fateful day, state troopers cracked John Lewis’s skull with a club for daring to demand equal voting rights for Black Americans.

John Lewis could have given up when he awoke in the hospital with a bandaged and bloody head. He did not.

Two weeks after Bloody Sunday, John Lewis marched with Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and thousands of others to complete the march into Montgomery.

Five months later, President Johnson signed the Voting Rights Act of 1965.

Whatever happens on Election Day, I am not giving up—and I know you are not giving up. It doesn’t matter whether we win a trifecta or suffer shocking losses, our work of defending democracy will not be finished. It never will be.

Yes, Election Day is critically important. But it is one of thousands of critically important days in the life of our democracy within living memory.

If we are fortunate enough to secure major victories on Tuesday, our reward will be that we get to do it all over again, starting on Wednesday.

Democracy is an ongoing, collaborative process. The good news is that we are working with one another to ensure that we preserve democracy for the next generation. I am honored to be working by your side!

Notes from the field (part IV)

Jill and I canvassed with Steve and Ellen Hill on Monday, covering 116 residences in Charlotte. It was a sobering experience. The areas we canvassed were economically depressed. We walked through some single-family home neighborhoods, where many homes were abandoned. Rental homes were dilapidated, with peeling paint and abandoned cars on the front lawns. But even in those neighborhoods, homes were being bulldozed at a rapid pace and replaced by two-story faux Cape Cod homes that would require substantial double incomes to pay the mortgage.

Especially sobering were the large apartment complexes that consisted of brick row houses surrounding a common area. The areas surrounding the apartments were strewn with trash and abandoned belongings left behind by renters who were forced out or moved on short notice. The bones of the old brick apartments were still solid, but window frames and doors were rotting. The residents of those apartments have been ignored and abandoned by landlords, the city, the state, and society. It is easy to see why some residents in those apartments feel hopeless and disconnected from presidential politics. And yet, we spoke to occasional residents who were strong and clear in their support for Kamala Harris and Democrats up and down the ballot.

It was disappointing that we were unable to speak to more residents. On the other hand, I felt that putting a door hanger on the front doorknob was a message to the residents: “We came to talk with you. You are not forgotten. Your voice matters. Vote.”

Jill posted a video on her blog that explains the technology of canvassing. See Every Day with Jill, Final Day of Canvassing: FOR KAMALA!

Concluding Thoughts

The astronomy photo below shows the Western Veil Nebula, a remnant of an exploding star. The early universe consisted only of two elements--hydrogen and helium, the basic ingredients of stars. On the other hand, humans are made of oxygen, carbon, hydrogen, nitrogen, calcium, phosphorus, potassium, sulfur, sodium, chlorine, and magnesium.

If the universe started as hydrogen and helium, where did the other “stuff” that makes up humans come from? Answer: From exploding stars. You are, therefore, made of stardust. Literally. Not figuratively. Not metaphorically. Literally. Nearly every atom in your body came from an exploding star.

So, as you anxiously wait for election returns, reflect on the fact you have the great fortune to be here in this moment because millions of exploding stars propelled matter into space that fortuitously, miraculously coalesced into you. How lucky is that?

Stay strong!

[faerieyoongles]

The Keepers 002

Hello, Keeper #0054. Welcome to your first assignment. Jeon Jungkook is the son of the wealthiest arms dealer in South Korea, and your job is to ensure his safety at all costs except one, he cannot know of your existence. In fact, nobody can know of our Society's existence. We have rules we must follow and a timeline to protect. Do your job and do it well... we're counting on you.

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Chapter Select My Masterlist Questions?

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warnings: gun violence, mentions of death.

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Chapter 002

The next day, I was sent in a deploying cart to my new location. My hub, where I’d be staying, was in Itaewon, which is around the area where the Jeon family did most of their distribution. It’s also where their headquarters was hidden. The watch the CHS had given me earlier now was lit up and gave me any information I needed to know about Jungkook, including his location at all times. 

I was stationed at a hub hidden in the back alleyways of the streets. Behind a little convenience store at the edge of town there was a discrete manhole. Using the strong magnets in my gloves, I was able to lift the cover and climb inside. This was the homebase for five different Keepers in the area, myself included. Upon entering, I made sure to slide the cover back in its original spot and climb down the thin rusted ladder. Hitting the floor of the sewers, the sound of my boots smacking against the thin veil of water that coated the floor echoed along the walls of the large pipes. My instructions were to follow the pipe down north until the path split in two, then follow the path on the right. I did just as such and found a metal door. Lifting my watch to the door handle, I heard mechanisms turning from inside the door followed by a ‘click’. The door opened, inside were metal bunk beds, much like the ones back in the dorms. In fact, the room looked extremely similar to the one I had back in the training building.

“Welcome, Number Fifty Four” said a woman sitting upon one of the beds on the bottom row. “Congratulations on completing training so early.” She stood up and walked towards me and extended her hand for me to shake. I did just as such.

“Thank you.” I said.

“I’m Number Twelve.” She dropped my hand. This woman looked to be in her mid to late forties, her hair cut to her shoulders, though also black like mine. “I’ll be your mentor for your first day. My assignment is Mr. Jeon, Jungkook’s father, so we’ll be working together a lot in the future.”

I nodded in response. “It’s a pleasure.”

Her arms were crossed over her chest, she wore the same uniform I was wearing. In fact, all the Keepers here were all dressed the same. All of us were about the same height, same build, and the same colored hair. Our only differences being our facial features, our ages, and the color of our skins. One Keeper, a younger male, had very pale sickly-like skin. Another Keeper looked to be in his forties as well, and he had richly deep skin. The last Keeper I couldn’t see well. She sat facing away from me with her mask on, fiddling with something on her watch. “Get settled in and we'll depart in the morning. The Jeons usually start their rounds at about five AM, so be ready to go at four. There’s food in the pantry, though be sparing with it, we don’t know when our next shipment is coming in. Pick any bed you like, as long as nobody’s claimed it yet.” She walked off back to her bed, and back to the conversation she was having with the pale boy before I entered the room. I ended up picking the bed at the far left of the room, away from the other four. I took some bread and chicken from the pantry and fell asleep soon after eating.

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“Keeper #0054 Assignment #001 Day: 1 Hello Keeper, Today is your first day protecting the subject 0468: Jeon Jungkook. You are required to be by his side, without his knowledge, every day until instructed otherwise. The Chronological Honor Society realizes you will eventually need rest, so we will allow you to return to your hub two times a week. Do not return to your hub without the CHS’s permission. You will receive a message on your watch telling you when it’s appropriate for you to return back to your hub. The message will also tell you how long you are allowed to reside at the hub. If you need to make an unexpected visit to your hub, please contact us using your finger-touch watch we have provided you. Please state your reasoning as to why you must return to your hub and how long you plan on staying there. The CHS will then either confirm or deny your request. Never leave your subject unattended. When you are not there to serve your subject, a substitute Keeper will temporarily take over your assignment for you. If you are to leave your subject unattended without our knowledge, you will receive 3 weeks solitary confinement. If you are caught abandoning your assignment twice, you will be reassigned. If you are caught abandoning your assignment more than twice, you will be terminated. Please respect these rules, as they are in place to ensure the safety of the subject. You are now required to leave the hub. Be sure to take your water bottle, food packets, weapons, climbing gear, and any other necessary tools with you. Do not take anything you do not need, as it will add unnecessary weight. Good luck, Keeper #0054! We know you will do great things! Signed

The Chronological Honor Society

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Number Twelve took me to the warehouse I saw on the screen back at the House of Honors. We had stayed hidden amongst the shadows, just like I was taught back in training. Twelve had a lot more experience under her belt. She told me she had been a Keeper for the past twenty years, and Mr. Jeon was her first and only assignment. If I’m lucky, Jungkook will remain my assignment for the rest of my life, or at least until I’m reassigned.

Twelve and I were perched by a skylight at the top of the warehouse. She pulled something out of her pack that was strapped to her waist. “This is an audio enhancer.” She said, holding up the small disk for me to see.

“Yes,” I replied. “They told us about those back in training.”

“Good,” she said. “Did they show you how to use them?” I stared blankly at her. Technically yes, but it was a while ago and I wasn’t sure exactly what I remembered. She just rolled her eyes at me. “I’ll show you.” She pressed in the center of the disk and folded it inwards to create a small cone. “Point the enhancer towards whatever sound you want to hear.” She hands me a small earpiece. “Put this in your ear.” I do as I’m told, placing the small piece in the inside of my ear. There’s a bit of adhesive on one side of the piece, and I use that to stick it to my skin. Twelve points the cone towards the group of men gathered in the warehouse, one of those men being Twelve’s assignment, Mr. Jeon. Another one of those men being mine, Jungkook.

“I’ve told you before, it isn't wise to sell to them anymore!” Jungkook shouts angrily at his father. He stands firmly, feet shoulder width apart and fists curled at his sides. His father is seated at the end of a table, feet lazily resting upon the top while he leans back in a metal chair, his son is standing opposite him at the end of the table. “They’re a reckless bunch of maggots, and with the bodies they’ve been leaving all over the city, they’re going to get themselves caught.” Jungkook moves so that his hands are sturdily clasping the top of the table in front of him. “We need to stay as far away from that mess as possible-”

“What we need,” Mr. Jeon interjects, “is to keep our allies. If word gets out that we’ve stopped businesses to the Cobras, then the Cobras will stop aiding us. We’ve kept this deal for years now, how else do you suppose we get around the city?”

“The Cobras are the Jeons’ long time business partners.” Twelve turns and whispers to me. “The gang makes sure the Jeons can get around the city mostly untouched, so long as they continue to supply weapons and ammo to them. Jungkook wants to stop the alliance between them. He thinks the Cobras have become too messy and unorganized since their old leader died and his son took over. He’s worried that if they get caught and the Cobras fall, the Jeon business will go down with them.” I nod in response.

“Why wasn’t this in the briefing I received about the assignment yesterday?” I asked her.

She shrugs. “Maybe the Honors didn’t see it as that important.”

Jungkook straightens his back, standing tall once again. “We can form other alliances. It’s not like there aren’t other gangs in the city. We’ve received many offers this past month and you rejected all of them.”

“They were all weak offers.” Mr. Jeon states. He moves to take a large cigar out his pocket and brings it to his mouth. A man from behind him takes a lighter to the butt of the cigar, lighting it for the leader. Mr. Jeon takes a large huff and exhales. The force of his breath causes the smoke to dart straight into the air, almost reaching Jungkook at the other end of the table. “My son,” he says “you have so much potential, yet lack the strength to carry it out. Just because you don’t agree with the way Taehyung has decided to run the business doesn't mean we should cease all allyship with them.”

Jungkook’s posture tenses at his father’s words. “That” he says, pointing to the left of him, towards a hypothetical direction, “is not a business. It’s a death trap. It’s meaningless murder!” His expression is forced to remain collected, but underneath his skin, I swore I could see the desperation itching to claw its way out the young man’s pores. “And our weapons are the very cause. I can’t sit by and watch innocent people-”

“Enough!” The leader shouts, once again cutting off his son mid-sentence. “I didn’t start this business to save their lives, I did it to save ours. These weapons have given you food and a home for your whole life. I have built this empire from the ground up, and you will not come in here and demand we change what has served us well for years!” He moves his feet off the top of the table and sits forward, elbows resting on either side and gaze narrowed towards the opposite end. “They’re my weapons. It’s my business. I hope one day it will be yours, but if you can’t handle a little blood being spilled then how am I to trust you with all this, huh?” He questions. Jungkook just stands defeated, lips curled inwards in a tight line. “People die every day. You either get over it or you die with them, it’s your choice. We are not ceasing our allyship or our trades with the Cobras, end of story.” The man stands up and exits the room, a group of men follow behind leaving Jungkook and two other men still at the table. When the chairmen and his posse exit into a room towards the back, Jungkook’s firmly held position drops and he plumps himself down in one of the metal chairs at the table. His elbows find purchase in his knees and his hands cradle his face.

“This is where I leave you, for now.” Twelve says handing me the disk. “I stay with Mr. Jeon, and you stay with him.” She points to Jungkook. “If you need me,” she starts fiddling with her wristwatch, “you can reach me on your watch.” Just then, the watch’s screen turns on, showing a message that reads ‘0012 has been added to your contact list.’ “Try your best not to though.” She says before she’s gone and blended in with the shadows. It was quite impressive how quick she was able to move. When following her to the warehouse, I almost found it hard to keep up with her. Twelve left with the disk still in my hand and the earpiece still sticking in my ear.

“It could’ve been worse,” said one of the young men at the table. “He didn’t throw anything this time.” The boy looked to be around the same age as Jungkook. He was a smaller stature, his frame and facial features more delicate. The third man in the room was the tallest out of the three. His skin a shade tanner, and he sported a buzz cut on his head. 

“People are dying by the hour,” Jungkook starts. “Either we get it done tonight or more will be dead by morning.”

“Are you sure this will work?” Asked the tall tan man.

“It has to.” Jungkook replies. “Talking some sense into my father hasn’t. If this doesn’t go our way…” His voice trails off as he averts his gaze towards outside the large windows of the warehouse. He sighs deeply. “It just has to.” He states. Both men nod in agreement.

“They’ll be moving out of the city within the hour.” The tall man starts. “If we’re gonna do this then we gotta go now.” All three men move from their idle positions and start walking towards the back exit of the warehouse. “Seokjin says that nobody should alert your father of this. They’ll probably assume he sent you himself. As long as we can make it there quickly and get out even quicker, we should be alright.” Jungkook hums a confirmation. The three walk out to the parking lot outside the warehouse. I shifted my position from looking down from the skylight to looking off the edge of the roof. I realized they’re about to drive off in the shiny black car parked by the door, and if I don’t latch myself onto that car, I won’t be able to keep up. I make my way to the side of the building, out of the three men’s line of sight, using the drainpipe as a grip to slide down on. Luckily, the men have stopped to chat once again. With them forming a small circle around each other, I sneak up against the wall towards the car. It was still early in the morning, the sun barely peeking out above the horizon. The shadows still loomed around, and it was pure luck that this side of the building faced away from the sun, which meant more shadows that allowed me to hide. I made it to the front of the car. In this position, I could hear the men fine without the use of the enhancer. 

“And what do we do when your father finds out what we’ve done?” The smaller man asks.

“It won’t matter.” Jungkook says. “We’d have already done it. He’ll be mad, but he really won’t be able to do anything.”

The taller man holds out a map in front of him, showing it to the other two. From what I could see at my position, it looked to be blueprints. “Seokjin says this entrance is the one we’re to use. This is where all their deals occur. If we try to go in through any other door, we’ll look suspicious.”

Jungkook stares at the blueprints with a stern expression. “Let’s move.” He says, before making his way to the driver’s seat of the car. I move under the car, holding on to the pipes and wires underneath to hold myself up off the ground. The other two men get into the car as well. The taller man sitting in the passenger seat and the shorter one in the back. The engine turns on and the car moves. During your training, I was taught not only how to maneuver into small spaces, but also how to hold a position for long periods of time. Directional training was also a subject forced upon me. As the car was moving down the winding roads of Seoul, I not only had no issue holding my position, but could track where in the city we were by how many turns the car took and when. Though, the watch was equipped with a GPS, so I’d know where we were even without the training. I estimated we were about a twenty-minute drive north from the warehouse. This section of the city is usually where most of the big companies were. Many rich businessmen lived in this area.

The car finally comes to a halt in front of a big concrete building. This location was more secluded from the rest of the city, with a big lawn in front and a long driveway to reach the parking lot. The car has stopped in front of a metal garage door. The sound of an intercom turning on booms in the air.

“State your business.” says the man on the intercom. The sound of Jungkook’s window rolling down follows.

“We’re here to see Yoongi.” He states loud enough so the man on the other side of the speaker can hear him. There’s a beat before the man responds.

“He’s not taking visitors right now.” The intercom replies.

“Tell him Mr. Jeon’s son wants to strike a deal.” Jungkook says back. There’s another long beat.

“Make it quick.” Says the man on the speaker. The cogs on the garage door start to move and a high pitched squeak is emulated. The car moves under the door and into the garage. The tires move a few more paces until it’s seated well into the building. The three men in the car get out, and I let go of the pipes I’ve been holding on to. My back was now to the floor, and I turned my head to look out from underneath the car. From what I could see, the garage had little to no furniture inside and was pretty well lit. This meant no hiding spots, I’d have to hold my position from under the car. The space was too small to be able to spin around, so I had to settle for cranking my neck at an awkward position to be able to see.

“Mr. Jeon jr..” said a man with polished black shoes. “We were not expecting you today. To what do we owe the pleasure?”

“The offer you made about a month ago,” Jungkook asks, “does it still stand?”

“Of course.” The man said matter of fact-ly. “But I was told my offer was declined by the big man himself.”

“Well, we’ve decided to reconsider.” Jungkook said. There must have been about twenty men in the room. Jungkook and his two on one side, standing closest to the car. The man with the shiny black shoes must have been Yoongi, the man they’ve come to converse with. There was another man in shiny polished shoes, but his were a dark brown. All the other men wore black combat boots and stood in formation behind the black and brown shoe men.

“Is that so?” Yoongi asks. “That's interesting… and unexpected.” He starts to pace around the room, moving closer to Jungkook. “I thought I’d never see the day your father reconsiders one of his decisions. In all my years I’ve known him, he’s never been wrong. At least, not in his eyes.”

“Well, people change.” Jungkook retorts. “The Cobras are proving day by day just how unreliable they’ve become.”

Yoongi smacks his tongue against his lips in a ‘tisk’ sound. “I knew Taehyung wasn’t ready to fill his father’s shoes. Though, I’m surprised you’re so quick to turn on them, Taehyung was your best bud, after all. At least, that’s what I remember from when you were young.”

“Like I said,” Jungkook retorts once again, this time a little sharper. “People change.”

Yoongi huffs a chuckle. “Very interesting indeed.”

“If I may-” Brown shoes interjects.

“Seokjin.” Yoongi says, cutting him off. “I thought we discussed this.”

“Yes,” Seokjin continued, “but this deal could solve all our problems.” There’s a tense pause in the room. Yoongi shifts his position, so the tips of his shoes are now pointed at Seokjin. “We’re going to go bankrupt if we don’t at least come to some sort of a conclusion with the Jeons. Jungkook and I have been talking-”

“What conversations are you having behind my back?” Yoongi asks. Seokjin huffs, defeated.

“Only ones that would benefit us. I swear.” He pleads.

“I disagree.” Yoongi paces again, this time close to where Seokjin is standing. “I’d rather not make deals behind Mr. Jeons back.” There’s another tense beat. “Because that’s what this is, right? I’m assuming your father has no idea of your whereabouts, let alone this plan you’ve curated.”

“My father doesn’t always know what’s best.” Jungkook answers.

“And you do?” Yoongi spits.

“In this case, I do.” Jungkook spits back. “The Cobras are gonna get all our asses in jail, or worse, in the ground.”

“I thought that was why your father wants to be on good terms with them, so they’d keep you out of their mess instead of dragging you down with them?” Yoongi questions.

“Yes, but I’m afraid Taehyung has no sense of cleaning up a mess, let alone containing it.” Jungkook answers.

“Hyung, they killed every gang in the west end of the city.” The tall man by Jungkook’s side says.

“So blood needs to be split for you to finally want my help? For you all to finally want to help me?” Yoongi says to the tall man. “I’ve known the Cobras were a mess even before Taehyung took over. I warned you all. I expected better from you specifically, Namjoon.” Yoongi points to the tall man. “Though, I never expected you to turn on Taehyung so quickly, Jimin.” He turns, pointing to the smaller man. “I thought you two were brothers till the end.”

“Taehyung is no brother of mine.” Jimin says softly, his posture stiffening.

“Well,” Yoongi puts his arm down, and walks back over to his previous spot next to Seokjin. “This has been fun. And as much as I would’ve loved to close this deal with you in the first place, I’m afraid I can’t risk going behind Mr. Jeon’s back.”

“Hyung, please.” Jungkook moves forward slightly, towards where Yoongi is standing. “We can’t just do nothing. I’m tired of watching innocent people die, and I know you are too. You promised that if we closed this deal with you, not only would our weapons no longer be in the wrong hands but that the Cobras would be taken care of. If I could convince my father-”

“There is no convincing your father.” Yoongi interjects. “Trust me, I’ve tried. And now you’ve gone trying to strike deals behind his back and made not only yourselves but us a target as well.” His movements are more aggressive as he moves closer to Jungkook, putting his face right in front of him. “If he finds out you're here... If he discovered we knew about your whereabouts and didn’t alert him immediately... And If the Cobras knew we’ve all been plotting against them for months…” He sighs hard and heavy, then chuckles. “Making that offer was risky of us in the first place, but you’ve put us in the grave by coming here.”

“We didn’t tell anyone.” Jungkook assures.

“I believe you.” Yoongi says. “And I also believe you never will.” I hear the sound of guns moving. By the few paces back the three boys in front of me take, they all must be held at gunpoint by the men in combat boots standing in the back.

“Seriously?” Jungkook shouts.

“Seriously.” Yoong says.

“And you don’t think my father would kill you for causing my death?” Jungkook moves back until the backs of his legs hit the car. His heels are meer inches from my face.

“Maybe.” Yoongi says. “It’s a good thing you didn’t tell him where you were going. Besides, I'm more certain he’d kill me for jeopardizing his business. You once told me it was the one thing he loved more than you. Based on your lack of trust in him, and him in you, I’m guessing that’s still true.”

“Hyung, please.” Namjoon pleads. “I’m sure there’s something we can work out.”

“Not in this business.” Yoongi answers. “We’re not boys anymore, Joon. I have more lives on the line besides yours.”

“Now let’s wait a second.” Seokjin pleads. “I don’t think killing them is the answer.”

“You’ve been the biggest disappointment of them all.” Yoongi says, now facing Seokjin. “You know better than anyone just how cruel Mr. Jeon is to those who betray him. Have you not learned your lesson from last time?” Yoongi starts to walk towards the back door, behind the men with guns. Seokjin follows him, tugging his arm to turn him around.

“Yoongi, if we could just-” He pleads.

“No no.” He interjects. “You stay here and die with them.”

“What?” Seokjin questions, panic and hurt laced in his tone.

“You’ve made yourself a liability. I’m sorry, I really am, but I can’t trust you anymore.” Yoongi walks out the door and I hear the metal slam shut. It sounds like the door had been heavily bolted.

“What do we do now?” Namjoon asks, turning to Jungkook. The men with the guns raise their formation, pointing their guns more assuredly at the four men.

“Open fire!” One gun man exclaims.

“Get behind the car!” Jungkook shouts. “Now!”

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[asmutwriter]

Just A Woman (Part 1 Section 3)

DESCRIPTION: After your weekend with the Bridgerton family you go back to your usual living. Bumping into a familiar face whilst at work

A/N - I have condensed partr 1 (which you can find here) into 4 smaller chunks so that you can have a better reader experience

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

WORD COUNT: 2819

From beginning / Previous / Next / Master List

WARNINGS: swearing, mentions of prostitution, time period sexism, mentions of sex work

DISCLAIMERS

- I wrote this in my knowledge of sex workers and I am truly sorry if I got it wrong and/or is offensive, that is not what I wanted to do and I’m sorry if that is the case

-  This is fiction. Please always talk to your partner before doing anything and make sure they are ok with what you are doing beforehand

The next morning you awaken late again. You get dressed and go downstairs. After you have had breakfast you go to find Violet. You bow to her slightly as you see her “Lady Bridgerton. I’m sorry to bother you but I was wondering if I could have your help. I’m not fully acquainted with balls and I am unsure of which dress to wear” she smiles and looks at you

“My dear, I’d be happy to help you” you both go to your room, showing her your dresses she picks out the prettiest one for you. Holding it up against your body “Yes this one. The colour will suit you just fine” she smiles and lies it on the bed “get dressed about 10 minutes before it starts. It will ensure your dress stays as nice as it can be for when the guests arrive” you nod and smile at her, bowing as she leaves the room. You go over and gently trace the fabric of the dress.

The day seems to take longer than normal as you pace around the house. Anxious about tonight. You get dressed into the gown, one of the maids helping you do up your corset and put the dress on. You walk out to see all the Bridgerton’s and John waiting for you. You smile and go over to John. You see him put a finger up “I have something I want you to wear tonight. A gift from me to you” he turns and takes out a box. Opening it he reveals a beautiful necklace. The colours matching perfectly to your dress.

“Holy shit!” you cover your mouth. He tries hard not to laugh as do some of the Bridgerton siblings. He picks it up from the velvet box, 

“May I?” you nod as he places the piece around your neck. You lightly trace the jewellery. He smiles as he watches your face beam with joy as you hug him. Pulling away and straightening your dress again

“How do I look?” you twirl

“Beautiful” he takes your hand and kisses it

“Good. That was the correct answer” he laughs as he excuses himself momentarily. You see him go over to the older Bridgerton boys but you are too busy talking to Daphne to take into account what he says. That’s when the first guests start to arrive. You hide in the corner of the room, watching as the men and woman dance away. All beautifully choreographed. You have found yourself at a buffet table, indulging in the grapes there. Colin walks over to you

“Are you not going to dance?” you shake your head

“If I dance I fear I may fall over and make a complete fall of myself” he nods as you hear his name being called. You turn to see a young ginger haired girl approach you. You smile at her and bow slightly.

“Colin have you seen your sister? I’ve been trying to find her but I haven’t had such luck”

“No I haven’t Pen. I saw her earlier but not recently” she nods as she looks at you and smiles

“I don’t think I’ve had the pleasure. I’m Penelope”

“I’m Isabella” she bows her head slightly to you as she looks at Colin. You see complete admiration in her eyes as she looks at him. You see a similar look when he meets her gaze. 

“I believe the next dance is starting” you say “It’d be a shame for you to not show off such a beautiful dress miss” you smile at the young girl. Nudging Colin “I would take her to the dance floor but it is not proper. Would you do me the honour of taking this beautiful girl for a dance?” he chuckles and offers his hand, you smile as she takes it and they head off. A few moments later you are met with Benedict. You look at him and offer him a grape to which he turns down. You pop it into your mouth as you watch the couples twirling and dancing. “What did John say to you earlier?”

“What do you mean?”

“He said something to you and your brothers earlier this evening. And I haven’t seen him tonight so I wondered what he asked you” you can see him about to go and change the subject but you interrupt him beforehand “if you don’t answer me I will ask your brothers. If they don’t answer me I’ll ask every single person at this party until I find out where he is” you smile at him innocently

“He said that he has an urgent meeting with someone so he will attend when he is free. He asked me and my brothers to keep you company and make sure you feel welcomed here” you nod and eat another grape

“Are you not going to dance?” he shakes his head “Why not?”

“No one here I’d like to dance with” you nod and look around “do you not want to dance?”

“I would but don’t you have to wait for someone to ask you?” you look at him as he nods. He puts his hand out for you to take

“Will you do me the honour?” you smile and take his hand. Letting him take you to the dance floor as he smiles at you, telling you the basic steps as he takes the lead. After the dance you bow to each other and go back to where you were standing. An older woman comes over to you and smiles

“Hello my dear. That dress and necklace is amazing”

“Thank you ma’am” you nod slightly at her in appreciation. She smiles

“Your dancing is amazing as well. It looked like you were having lots of fun” you nod and smile

“Oh it was great. I did nearly piss myself from excitement though” she looks shocked at your words but then laughs slightly. You look at Benedict who is also trying not to laugh at your words. “Where do I get a drink?”

“I’ll go get you a lemonade” you nod and smile as he walks away, leaving you with the woman. John’s mother walks over to you

“My dear. Why don’t you show Lady Danbury here your singing skills?”

“Oh no I couldn’t possibly-”

“I insist. It is my son’s ball so he will be happy for you to show your skills” Benedict walks over and gives you your drink. You take it 

“Thank you” you smile but lean closer “save me”

“Come on my dear” she goes over and calls out “everyone. My lovely friend Isabella will be singing a song for you all” she looks at you. You tighten your grip on your drink

“Fuck it” you murmur and take your drink as a shot. You walk over to one of the instruments the band is playing “May I?” he nods and allows you on it. You start to play a few notes, thinking of words to sing. You start to sing, your voice filling the now quiet hall. Afterwards they clap for you

“How would people like another song?” you shake your head

“Oh no I-”

“Go on, sing for us some more” Johns mother says. You catch eyes with Benedict who mouths ‘go on’ at you. You glare at him before nodding slightly and playing the instrument again you start to sing words. Everyone claps again and you bow slightly. Going back over to Benedict

“Amazing performance there” you playfully hit his arm

“Hush. How much longer before I can take this dress off and wear something less damaging to my organs” he laughs slightly “I’m serious. I think my torsos gone numb. Plus I’m overheating. I feel a little like a lobster in a pot” he laughs again, making you glare at him but smile.

“I think it’s about an hour or so longer to go”

“Fucks sake” you say just as Lady Danbury walks over to you again, raising her eyebrow at your as she overhears your swear. You smile at her and bow slightly “m’lady. Pleasure to see you again”

“You have quite the excellent singing voice. Where do you hear the songs you sing?”

“Oh I make them up as I go. My friend always told me I have a good ear for musical notes”

“Yes. The words though my dear. They really speak to the soul do they not?” you nod and smile at her

“I have to admit, my other friend reads romantic novels constantly and I always mock her for it. Tending to make up soppy words on the spot to make her embarrassed” she laughs at your words

“Makes sense my dear. She is lucky to have a friend like you” she smiles as she leaves. You look at the Bridgerton brother

“Was I ok?” he nods

“You were great” he takes a sip of his drink “I think she may be quite fond of you” that is when Eloise and Penelope walk over to you. Penelope watching Colin fondly from the other side of the room. Eloise looks at you 

“Danced with any men yet?”

“Only your brother. No one else has asked me to dance” she nods “have you two been in a dance yet?” they shake their heads. You look around, seeing if you can find a young man to dance with any of you. You make eye contact with someone who looks at you intensely. You break eye contact but before long he walks over to you four. 

“Don’t I know you from somewhere?” he looks you up and down

“I think you have me mistaken for someone else” you smile at him. He looks at your eyes and grins

“No I know you. You work in that little place down the road. What’s it called? You know. The place with the who-”

“Yes Mr Bridgerton I would love to have another dance” you say as you take his hand and go to the dance floor. You see the two younger girls try to ask the gentlemen questions but he dismisses them both and walks away.

“Where do you work?” you shake your head at the question.

“That is not relevant. And now is not the time or place to ask me” you smile at him slightly, meeting your eyes. 

The rest of the night goes slowly. But the following day goes by quickly when it is soon the evening and you must go. You are surprisingly sad to say goodbye to all the Bridgerton’s and John. But you make your leave, them driving a carriage back to your place of work. John allowed you to keep some of the dresses he leant you, noting he left you the money in one of the gowns. You get out of the carriage, walking home from the brothel. You open the door to your small and quiet house. 6 young girls running and hugging you. “We’ve missed you so much” they all start telling you about their days. You nodding and smiling at them all, knowing you must retire to bed soon as you are tired. The eldest notices

“I’ll put them to bed. Go and have a bath and go to sleep” you nod and do what she says. Falling asleep, memories of the past few days filling your dreams. The next morning you are awoken to find all the younger children crawled into your bed. You hug them all before leaving and getting dressed, going about your morning duties before they wake up. Once they have all awoken you all have lunch together and they go and play in the garden apart from Daisy who is sitting down reading a book. 

“Not more romances I hope”

“This ones more a psychological book”

“Does the girl and the guy end up married at the end?” she nods “Then it’s a romance” she rolls her eyes at you as she places the book down on the table.

“Tell me about the ball. Was it as good as we always thought it’d be?”

“Honestly, it was better. I felt like a queen the whole evening”

“What was the food like?”

“Delicious. I managed to swipe a box of chocolates from them” you go over to your still unpacked bags and grab out a tray of unopened chocolates, showing it to her before putting it in a high shelf so the younger ones couldn’t reach it. You pull out one of the dresses and show her “I was allowed to keep 3 dresses as well. I picked the 3 prettiest ones” she goes over and touches the fabric. Letting her look at it you look at the clock. “I need to go to work. I won’t be long. I need to let them know I’m ok and home safely” she nods as she admires the other 2 dresses. You hug her before leaving. 

Getting to your work place and entering it was a weird experience. You were so used to seeing people being prim and proper that it now seemed shocking to you for people to be grinding against each other half naked. You go and meet your friend who hugs you, cigarette in her hand “Isa! You’re back! You weren’t murdered” you shake your head as you get dressed into your working clothes. Some high stockings, a short skirt and a low cut corset. 

“Honestly I’m glad to be back”

“Oh was no one hot enough for you to get your freak on?”

“Not that. More they were all too pristine so they wouldn’t dare even look at you in the eyes incise it caused pregnancy” you laugh as you bid her farewell and go out into the crowd of people. You go over and sit at the bar, ordering yourself a drink. A few minutes pass and you feel someone sit next to you. You take a sip of your drink before turning. “Hey ther-” you see Benedict sitting next to you, ordering a drink before he turns to you. A slight shocked expression. You look away “I’m sorry I must go” he takes your hand quickly

“Isabella?”

“I’m sorry you must have me confused for someone else” you continue to look at the ground. He tilts your head up slightly by your chin. Meeting your eyes with his

“Why are you in a brothel?”

“I could ask you the same thing”

“I think mine is a more obvious reason”

“And mine isn’t?” you motion at your clothes as he looks at your body. You see him shift slightly in his seat before looking at you again

“Why are you working in a brothel?” he whispers. You look around, grabbing his hand and taking him to a private room and shutting the door

“I told you I worked. You seem surprised”

“I am surprised”

“Why? Is a girl not allowed to make money of her own? Is she not allowed to express her sexuality like how men do?”

“You are. I’m just surprised to see someone who seemed so shy to even look at a man working in a place where her job is to have sex with them” you turn red at his words. “How long have you worked here?”

“About 3 years” you look away from him as he nods and sits on the bed. “So John...?”

“He payed me. But don’t tell him I told you. Shit. Why are you here?”

“Although John is going back tomorrow and his mother is also leaving today they said that we could stay in their house for a week. Have a family week away”

“So you’re here because?”

“Because it is difficult to find a woman out here, if you must know” you chuckle slightly 

“You’re right. I can go get you one of our lovely ladies if you’d like?”

“I umm, I’d quite like to just stay in here and talk to you. If you’d be ok with that?” you nod slightly and go and sit next to him on the bed.

“I can’t be long here. I promised my friend I’d be back home soon. I said I’m only coming here so that they know I’m ok” he nods and looks at you

“Why don’t we go back now?”

“What?”

“I want to chat. You want to go home. I might as well come with you, right?”

“I’m flattered but I don’t know if my house is up to your kind of requirement” he shrugs and stands up, holding his hands out to you

“I don’t care. I want to see where you live” you nod and let him help you up. You excuse yourself and quickly get dressed into your normal clothes and then join him again. You both walk about a mile to your house. Once there you look at him, trying to judge his expression on his face as he sees your small house.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

[s0akie]

A friend of mine is trying to raise some money for his tuition! Please consider donating and spreading this around as well. Here is what he wrote: "Hello, my name is Abba. I am a second-year student in my last semester at the University of Plymouth, striving to build a better future through my education. Growing up, my mom and I faced numerous challenges, but we've always believed in the power of education to break barriers. With support from my mother , we've worked tirelessly to fund my studies, knowing it is the key to a brighter future. However, despite our efforts and a major setback, we find ourselves at a crossroads. The weight of outstanding fees threatens to derail my education and jeopardize my visa status. I have only a few days as I have exceeded my tuition deadline to come up with the sum or end my educational journey abruptly. The funds we're raising are crucial to ensuring I can complete my degree and secure my future. They'll cover tuition fees, living expenses associated with maintaining my visa status. Without this support, all the sacrifices made thus far could be in vain. The picture I used is of my current project I worked on to show my passion in my course which is architecture , my hope is to graduate and do more projects like the ones I have , and make a difference I just have one more year left to graduate please help me see this dream come true. Losing my education would mean losing the chance to create a better life not just for myself, but for my family too and make all the sacrifices seem like a hopeless effort. Your support isn't just an investment in my future; it is a lifeline that could change the trajectory of my entire life. Thank you for considering helping me on this journey."

[sukirichi]

me thinks tsumu didn’t actually get her drunk so she’d sleep with him. i think his blabber mouth let out the fact that the royal family is completely fucked and mentioned the affair - probably to get brownie points with the model or because he’s mad at rin for being likely to be king or something. and getting her drunk was supposed to be a safety net to ensure she doesn’t remember any of their conversations regarding that topic. she wakes up and feels blindsided that he’d try to do something so gross, she lets the info out? IDK i feel like something corrupt happened between the two that didn’t involve sexual relations…. maybe she was the one to take that photo and tsumu getting her drunk was his way of trying to erase it, like she’s drunk he takes her phone deletes pic - problem solved! i just feel like the amount of times he apologised SPECIFICALLY to sunarin… it’s just way too suspicious.

onto the man himself. y’know how i was talking about my nendoroid? imma cover his ears when i say this; if he’s genuinely so arrogant to think that sticking to his dogshit fuckass plan is the only option (because he doesn’t wanna damage his pride even more and admit he’s wrong) im gonna deck this man myself. sleeping with itinerary ON YN’S BED??? OHHHH BITCH YOU HAVE ME SO FUCKED UP RN. her only safe haven and it’s been tainted by that man whore and his woman crush wednesday…. i cannot WAIT for yn to fuck up iriler cuz she got on my last nerve like i genuinely didn’t think that was possible but damn. she deserves just as much heat as rin cuz atp do you not have ANY fucking sympathy for another woman?? you need to get some mediocre loveless dick wet so bad, you’ll do it on someone else’s bed in their locked safe space??

i have some theories but with the ending of the chapter i just need to take a few more laps, whew im like malding so hard rn. TAKING OFF THE FUCKING RING? LIKE THE AUDACITY OF THAT FIVE HEAD. it’s such a slap in the face because despite everything that happened - yn was STILL thinking of suna and how to help him and then the betrayal of them doing it in her room, AND HE JUST TAKES HIS RING OFF AND LEAVES??? IRIS HAS STOLEN EVERYTHINGGG, that line where yn was trying to reassure herself like “it was your ring on his finger.” and then cutting to that ring being left on the bed side table … suki you got me so fucked up i feel like i could run a mile rn.

there IS a way for their relationship to be redeemed tbf, idk how many readers would agree with it but i feel like the redemption would be something a little like how it was in the hamilton musical, like we just finished the reynold’s pamphlet track. i think with the redemption their relationship is definitely not going to be warm and it’s going to be a lot less loving (not loveless but yn isn’t going to give her love easily to him).

me personally, i’m just hoping if ushi becomes king he allows divorces so yn can get out of that relo and so can kiyoomi, they both deserved each other and i don’t think they could ever ignore each other for too long, especially not after that entire trip where they built their connection with each other.

i’m done rambling now, i’m sorry if my ask got a bit incoherent, this chapter had me fucked up more than any other one JUST because of the ring, like my heart actually broke when i read that. anyways im so sorry for the long ask 😭 enjoyyy

- shhh anon

shhh anon!! ah i’m always so happy to hear about your theories pls don’t think i am bothered by the long asks 🥹 for tsumu hmMMM lowkey shivering in my boots because i think you’re reading my mind and seeing all the secrets of dtd… hmm… can’t confirm anything as of now but i agree with you! he would definitely pull that just to get brownie points and get laid + getting her drunk was vv intentional on his part… i’m so sorry, he’s so horrible in dtd!! but you’re right, tsumu is one suspicious guy aafghsjkla

yes pls cover nendoroid suna’s ears!! canon suna does NOT have to hear any slander, and i’m so sorry to our pookie bear that i gave him such awful roles in this story... fr like out of all places, why on the reader’s bed?! the castle is HUGE he could’ve chosen anywhere but that (although we’ll see why he brought iris to reader’s bed in ch13 muehehhe.) AND THE NICKNAMES FOR IRIS IM CRYING IRILER?? ITINERARY? HELP 😭

OMG YES THANK YOU FOR NOTICING!! like reader’s monologue was like “that’s my ring he’s wearing even after all that happened” because that was like, her only source of comfort and reassurance that in SOME WAY, he’s still hers yknow? but then HE TAKES IT OFF AGAHJSK. but yes yes i see where you’re getting at – the redemption arc is not going to be warm at all. actually, tiny spoilers ahead, i’m not even sure i can call it a redemption arc (won’t give context hehe, you guys will see for yourselves.) but i cannot wait to see how things will change if ever ushi becomes king. he’s a very traditional guy too, so we’re not even sure if he would legalize divorce. he’s a stickler to the rules, and as much as he wants the best for his brothers, his main priority is to sticking to what the kingdom wants – so that’s a downside if he becomes king. kiyoomi though like pls i’m so in love with him, i want him to be endgame so bad!! they do deserve each other, and their chemistry + bond is just so natural for me. i think they would be happiest with one another ngl 🥹

and please don’t apologize for the long asks bb!! i actually get so happy whenever i see that people take the time to share me their thoughts, it means the world to me 🥺💫🌷

[manor-tea-time]

Finale -  Merry Christmas!

꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊❅.☃︎⋆⁺₊❅.⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆⋆꙳

Wayne awoke with a start, tumbling off of his comfy chair and collapsing onto the floor with a resounding thud. He sprung up, his chest heavy with cold air, as the fireplace was now nothing but cold ashes. Morning light trickled in through the curtains as he looked around the room.

“I am alive! By Jove!” He laughed, a true smile covering his face for the first time in years. “But was it all a dream? Could it have been?”

⋆⁺₊❅.☃︎⋆⁺₊❅.

As he looked to the window, he ran to it, bracing his hands upon the sill. The sun was still low in the sky but the rosy colors of dawn were beginning to decorate the snow covered cobble streets. Below him he spotted three carolers, one holding a candle, one dancing as she sang, and one with a hood covering their face. 

“You there!” He called out to them, “Hello! What day is it?”

The caroller holding the candle looked at their friends curiously, then back up at Wayne. “It’s Christmas?”

“Christmas! Indeed! Merry Christmas! I have not missed it! I have time to make it alright!” He left the window to spin around the room and sing, hot tears streaming down his face. He collected himself quickly, and ran back to the window to see the carollers long gone, yet a boy was outside shoveling snow in the streets in their place. 

“Boy!” He called out to the teenager, who about jumped out of his skin. “Merry Christmas, child!”

“... Merry Christmas?”

“Do me a favor! Go to the butcher and get the largest goose you can find! Tell them Strickland sent you! Oh and tell them all of their debts are forgiven!” He rustled around in his nearby desk to pull out a small bundle of coins. He threw them down to the auburn haired boy and smiled, “Use that to pay for the goose! And keep the rest!”

The boy looked at the great deal of money in his hands with starry eyes and looked up at Wayne. “I… I will! Thank you, sir! Merry Christmas!”

“Yes! And a Happy New Year!” He laughed as the boy dropped his shovel to run off and gather the goose. “Ah. I have much to do.”

⋆⁺₊❅.☃︎⋆⁺₊❅.

The rest of Christmas morning, Wayne spent writing a great deal of letters. Most of them were notes of loan forgiveness, ensuring that all who had borrowed from him in the past were free to move on without debt. He also wrote a great deal of apology letters to those he had been unkind to. And lastly, he wrote a letter to Jaime, apologizing and not asking for forgiveness, only to see eachother again one day. 

When the goose was delivered he set off, knowing that he had a great deal left to do before the day was over. His first stop, which was quite hard to find and required asking about, was the home of Alden. 

He knocked upon the flimsy wood door with a great deal of awkwardness that only expanded when his employee appeared.

“Mr. Strickland!” Alden startled. “What are… I know I have the day off, sir! We talked about it yesterday! Is there an emergency? I really can’t-”

“Alden. All is well… I just…” Wayne cleared his throat. “I know that I have been rather… Stingy as an employer and I wanted to ensure that you and your family would have a proper Christmas dinner.” He held up the goose.

Alden’s eyes went wide as he looked at the massive bird. “Oh! Wow! Thank you! Thank you so much! That’s so kind of you! Here let me hold that for you.” He rushed to take the heavy item away from the old man and bring it inside.

Wayne stood at the doorway and coughed into his hand. The first part was complete. “Alden. One more thing.”

“Yes?” He called out from inside the house as he scrambled to find a place to find the monster of a bird. 

“You have been an excellent employee. A wonderful man. I was hoping that you would join me in… Well. We used to be Crowell and Strickland. Now we are just Strickland’s Loans. Would you like to… Oh god wait, what is your last name?”

“... You want me to be your business partner?”

“Yes! Absolutely!” Wayne smiled as Alden hugged him and gave the younger man a good pat on the back. 

“Thank you so much, Mr. Strickland. This is going to change everything for my family! Merry Christmas!”

“Merry Christmas, Alden.” Wayne decided he would just have to ask his last name again later. 

As Alden rushed off inside to tell the good news to his family, the old man smiled, knowing that they would be able to afford treatment for the little girl he had seen. That there would be no more Christmases Alden’s family spent unsure of the future. He hummed and walked off to his final destination for the day, a smile ever-present on his face.

⋆⁺₊❅.☃︎⋆⁺₊❅.

Soon he came upon a beautiful house decorated in holly, candles, candy canes, and many other festive things. He knocked upon the door and when his niece answered he smiled. 

“Hello,” he said, “I apologize for my rudeness yesterday… And the many days prior. I was wondering if I may still attend your party?”

“Oh Uncle!” Therese threw her arms around him. “I always save a place for you at the table! Of course! Please, come inside! Oh, what a wonderful Christmas this has turned out to be!”

Wayne nodded bashfully as he entered the room of shocked guests, all surprised the fabled and wicked Wayne Strickland had showed up. Yet, as the evening went on, every single person there including the old man himself had a merry time full of laughter, joy, and love. 

And for the first time in a long time, Wayne had a very merry Christmas. 

꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊❅.☃︎⋆⁺₊❅.⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆⋆꙳

⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆

And now, a quick word from Emma!

A/N: Hello! This is the end of A Very IDV Christmas! Thank you all for reading! I know the writing has had it’s ups and downs (FINALS GRRR) But I have been so happy to share this holiday experience with all of you. Happy Holidays!

⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆

[tabswrites]

WIP Whenever

@outpost51, you subliminally drove me to finish ch. 3 of S.S and for that I owe you a cool and interesting rock.

Anyways, here's a scene where Adrin is definitely not having a bad time:

"This is a special assignment, Valik. The traitors were once your peers.” Elder Herric stroked his white goatee and surveyed him with steely gray eyes. “Captain Hollowar will explain.”

She stepped forward at the mention of her name and gestured to the velvet pouch Adrin had thrown around his neck. “Miss Rameau seemed to notice that the exile stole a map far different from ours. This is because it reveals the last known location of Highgrave.”

Adrin stared at her with a blank expression. “Am I supposed to know what that means?”

“It is the place where our founders cleansed magic from the land.” Elder Herric chimed in. “We believe there are still traces there, reaching for Rothar and corrupting our people.”

“Right.” Adrin coughed to cover a laugh. It had to be an elaborate joke, a mind-bending ruse meant to test his loyalty. 

“You will need the help of these exiles to navigate there.” Hollowar continued. “It is important that you gain their trust.”

“So, reading this map is illegal.” Adrin noted. “Speaking about magic is illegal. Now you want me to read this map and play nice with the exiles to find…magic?”

“Your compliance will be rewarded with full immunity.” Elder Herric’s words contained a veiled threat. “In return, you must ensure that Highgrave is completely destroyed.”

“And the exiles?”

Elder Herric glanced at Elder Rameau, who seemed to nod encouragingly. “They are not to return to this city. Do what you must.”

Adrin opened and closed his mouth. “I’m sorry, Elder Herric, I can’t be responsible for that. I’m not comfortable with…” Murder. The word echoed inside his head.

“You will do it, or you will be viewed as a sympathizer and punished accordingly.” Hollowar rushed forward and brought her face close to his. “Your family has already been through so much. Do not be responsible for causing them any more pain.”

He chewed at the delicate skin on the inside of his cheek and tasted blood. The pain distracted him from the urge to shove the captain to the ground. “Fine.”  

She glanced briefly at Elder Rameau. The two seemed to make a silent agreement. The bracelet on her right hand scraped softly against the hilt of her sword as she reached for a pouch tied to her belt. A moment later, she held a balled fist up to his face. He recoiled with a grimace.

“I need you to make the pledge, Guardsman Valik.” She murmured.

He snorted. “The pledge from the ceremony? A bit of an odd request.”

“This is not a joke, boy.” She grabbed her chin with her other hand, nails biting into the skin. “You’re bound to us. Repeat after me; I pledge myself to the Council and vow to uphold their ways.”

Although Adrin was unable to move his head, he felt the elders watching and repeated her words hastily. He spared a thought for his father, wondering if he had ever been tested like this. He would have warned me, right?

 She released him from her grip but kept the tight fist at eye level. “I pledge myself to a world without magic and vow to eradicate those who seek it.”

His heart began to pound. “This isn’t the same pledge.” The look on the captain’s face made it clear her patience was running short. He growled the words back to her.

“Do you understand the consequences of your failure?” Elder Rameau called out.

Adrin turned to face him with a glare, only to find the elder’s face alight with a chilling smile. 

“I can read between the lines.” He retorted. 

“Good.” Captain Hollowar uncurled her fist finally and exhaled, sending a cloud of violet colored dust into his face. He coughed and waved a hand in front of him. The hand faded from view as his eyes fluttered shut. He felt himself drift away, and then he felt nothing at all.

[valleyfthdolls]

I am once again here to annoy you, an' paste yet another whole ass post into your inbox cuz I'm feelin' very normal tonight (i very much am not-)

Not as in depth as my last kinda lyric analysis thing, but I am completely normal about movie Mike and Vanessa, an' this song made me think of them and their relationship throughout the movie, cuz as the title says they have both shared trauma thanks to William's actions

This verse would obviously be Mike constantly reliving his trauma through his dreams each night, an' Vanessa warnin' him that it will only make things worse for him, with the missing kids messin' with him

They both have trauma thanks to William, Mike witnessing his brother's kidnappin' as a kid, and forcing Vanessa to cover up his crimes for him which definitely has to have messed her up, an' the scene at the end where he taunts her before she shoots him tells me that he also definitely isn't world's best dad material wit' her, as if it wasn't obvious already, but by the end of the movie they both face their trauma head on in a way by facin' off against William and getting rid of the source of it for both of them, Mike finally knowin' who took his brother after all these years, an' Vanessa no longer having to live in fear of him and cover up his crimes. While they're definitely not 100% fine an' ok now, they're definitely on the right path to recoverin' from their own trauma now.

I don't ship movie Mike an' Vanessa, but I do headcanon them bein' in a queerplatonic relationship since I was so expectin' the movie to awkwardly shoehorn in some kinda romance subplot between the two, but I was pleasantly surprised that their relationship remained so natural, just keepin' 'em as friends, which I think their dynamic works so much better as <3

HI I JUSR SAW RHIS POST AND WENT

I personally see Vanessa as being like a sister to the Schmidt kids (plus combined w my movie Cassidy Afton theory Cassidy could be brotherly to Garrett which is cute) but really any interpretation that lets them bond over their shared experiences and feelings is just so special to me. I was so worried they’d force a romantic relationship especially after Vanessa’s one off line asking him to dance with her while the animatronics were performing but thank god they actually went for making them understand and matter to each other instead of ensuring they were boyfriend and girlfriend by the climax or something bc the relationship we GOT for them was so good and I love the way it lets ppl interpret them romantically, platonically, queerplatonically, or familially. I definitely don’t buy at the moment that Mike Schmidt is Michael Afton and I really enjoy it that way honestly because all of that open air between them makes Mike and Vanessa’s relationship feel very real. They’re not bonding because they have some kind of inexplicable draw because they’re romantically inclined or secretly siblings, it’s because they’re both traumatized and suffering thru the same situation and they understand bc of shared trauma and want to help and stick around with each other

[thebookofjeremiah]

"Bring Down the Crown." From the Book of Jeremiah 13: 18-19.

Jeremiah adds to our existing understanding of the Holy Spirit:

18 The Lord said to me, “Tell the king and his mother to come down from their thrones, because their beautiful crowns have fallen from their heads.[a]

19 The towns of southern Judah are under siege; no one can get through to them. All the people of Judah have been taken away into exile.”

To understand the Holy Spirit one must siege the human race and attack it, force it to behave according to very conservative social principals. This includes Royals, who are expected to watch over a piece of territory their entire lives and those of their offspring and ensure the people are protected, kept fed, and remain happy. One cannot, like Charles Mary use royalty as a vantage point from which to find the next little boy to come over and stick drugs down his catheter tube. That is gross and disgusting, it is not sound government, it is not appropriate stewardship over the land.

Pope Francis was a rapist and a liar. He did not understand the Holy Scriptures and his church has also raped millions of little boys. Donald Trump and Jerry Falwell and Mike Johnson, third in line to the US Oval Office also rape little boys. Now you know I like my Fruit Loops, but the Law and all laws are sacrocanct, and they say there are standards and norms for sovereign human behavior and the former are not a match.

On the other hand, I have been celibate in excess of three years, I do not leave my place of residence except to go to the grocery store, I do not hook up, I do not sleep around, I do not use drugs nor believe they play a role in romance and the course of human development. I do not solicit sex from minors, I never have. I believe the Torah is correct in its assessments of how to properly navigate these challenges. They have not let me down so far. I plan to stay on course until I meet someone capable of filling some very big shoes that were left vacant after the DC Metropolitan Police decided to abandon me and my family to the disgusting people in the Church and the Republican Party. And I am not the only one, and you would not believe the BULLSHIT that I have been told about this.

As Jeremiah says we need to come down to earth together, and share in the enforcement of social norms that ensure the poor are raised up, the violence ends, prosperity grows, and the enlightenment of mankind becomes possible. Men who give little boys and teens from the Soccer Game lots of drugs, take a little cinema break, and then go to the Capitol Buiding or the White House afterward need not apply.

Perhaps one day soon, our public officials will recognize the importance of these words, do their jobs and return the human race back to its normal course of evolution without uttering a single stupid comment, resorting to bureaucracy, with complete respect and courtesy for all the persons the aforementioned have harmed.

In case no one has noticed, I am seething with anger over the failures of the government and the police to recognize the significance of all of this and act like they are capable of earning their keep.

The Values in Gematria are:

Bring the Crown Down=2318, ‎, techagich‎, "let it emerge."

When we bring the Crown down, we bring self-determination and moral conduct down into the body and this is then expressed outward into the world.

v. 18: The Lord said to me: The Number is 6774, ‎ ‎, szad, "who hunts, captures."

v. 19: All of the people of Judah have been taken away. The Number is 8338, ףג‎לח‎, "a haircut."

Haircuts "coronations" are forbidden for people that want to be beautiful on the outside but are shitty on the inside. When you are ready to act like adults and do your jobs, you can all go get a nice haircut.

The final Gemara is לגיחשזרדפגל‎ח, legichshazardafgal‎ch, "You have to be shaved."

The human race is acting like cavemen, covered in smelly hair with shit clinging to it from head to toe. You do not allow persons who lie, cheat, corrupt, or traffic in sex with minors operate a state. A retard could tell you this. So long as we tolerate violations of the law, especially with regards to the Age of Consent and violent crimes, God will not bless this place no matter what you are told.

Trump- you are an asshole idiot. DC is a very small town. Everyone here knows what you do, and your stupid friends circulate your movies all over the place. I will not stop telling my story until you get what's coming to you and you pay your debts to the people whose lives you destroyed.

[animeloverskylarmoon]

Byakuya Kuchiki (Bleach) - Noble Series 1: Our Love - Chapter 27

When you all had made it through the soul society, you could see the calamity that had happened in the wake of Danuja’s attack. 

The many smoking buildings and reapers rushing around speaks for itself. It’s clear that they’d subdued the hollows, but rebuilding what has been destroyed will take a while.

Once word got out that Danuja had been apprehended, it felt like a weight had been lifted. Byakuya has insisted that you go to the fourth squad, but you denied treatment, because truthfully, you were physically fine. It was hard to believe that just a few hours ago you were on the brink of death.

Danuja was transported into a separate area to be healed. Unohana had decided to take point, just in case he got any ideas. Although from the look in his eyes, it’s clear that he’d given up.

Completely.

Shinji, and Ukitake had run into you at some point. They’d been tied up at the fifth squad previously.

Kensei, Love, and Hachi were doing recon, ensuring that any injured were being assisted. Kenpachi was running around swiping any hollows that might still be drawn to the residual effects of Danuja spiritual pressure, as well as yours.

Toshiro and some of the others were also scouting.

Looking around the room of the fourth squad, you’re not surprised at how busy it is. The sight just adds to your turmoil, and once Renji places Rukia on a bed, you send her a small smile as you walk away.

Ichigo looks about ready to follow, but Renji sends him a look, shaking his head. Byakuya is the one who follows behind you. From the direction, he knows where you’re going. The walk is quiet. He stays one step behind, and when you walk into the opened room, Unohana turns.

Danuja is laying on the bed, bandages almost covering his entire body, straight up to the right side of his face. He only manages to turn his head in your direction when you stop right next to his bed. Unohana is still actively healing his wounds, silent. The subtle green glow aimed on his torso makes it real.

How badly he’s hurt.

How badly you have hurt him.

Not just now, but back then when you left. The reason he’s this way, so angry, so bitter, it’s your fault.

“I don’t regret any of it. You’re misguided if you came for an apology."

It would have been completely naive to say that was your purpose for the visit. You’d like to say something. You felt like you had some idea in your head. Hoping that the second you were in front of him, you would know what to say. But you’re wrong.

There are no words you can provide to change this.

Help him.

“I saw you one day, walking through the Rukongai with that noble, smiling so carefree. Without any troubles. It pissed me off.”

His eyes were now directed to the side, the contempt easy to spot.

“When I told your father you were alive, he asked me to get you. He said that if you resisted, if you refused to come back, then I could kill you myself, and I jumped at the chance.”

Byakuya’s eyes are hard as Danuja confesses it all.

“He was willing to let you die, just to protect his pathetic status. He was concerned that other families would find out that you left on your own accord and it would ruin his reputation. That selfish bastard. After I killed you, I was going to remove him next, just for the hell of it.”

You can’t even be mad at Danuja. After all that he’s said, you can’t help but wonder if you wouldn’t have done the same in his position. You remembered how hard it was when your mother passed, but you still had your father, your sisters. Danuja wasn’t as fortunate.

He lost everything, no choice in the matter.

No chance.

You made the decision to run on your own accord, unknowingly putting him in a position you’d been in all your life.

Without free will, freedom.

“I’m sorry Danuja. I know it doesn’t mean much coming from me but I really am…sorry..”

Your tears hit his cheeks, and he turns slowly, a bit astonished at the level of despair on your face. His eyes shook, and then he closed them, the stray droplets rushing down the side of his cheeks.

“I don’t need your pity.”

That’s all he says.

No matter what you say, you can’t change the past.

So you have to live with it.