#angsttt

[quintinh43]

All My Heart | Quinn Hughes

Summary: Quinn has been off the ice for two weeks, and he isn't dealing with it well.

Pairings: Quinn Hughes x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Anxiety/panic (attack?), general questioning of existence. Feelings, Angst, the whole roster basically.

Notes: yall please be careful reading this one! I did not mean for it to go the way it did but here we are. Please please please keep the warnings in mind, and if ever you need to stop reading please do. Take care of yourselves first loves. More notes at the end!

Wc: 1.6 k

---

Quinn felt like he was going insane. He'd been off the ice for two weeks due to an upper body injury, and it felt as if the restlessness had buried itself beneath his bones. He currently lay in bed, staring at the ceiling with tired eyes and a mind that wouldn't relax.

His foot shook incessantly beneath the blanket as he tried to fall asleep, but the thoughts kept whirling. He had been having trouble sleeping since he'd been benched. The constant string of anxious thoughts preventing his mind from quieting down enough for him to slip into a blissful sleep.

"Quinn." You grumble, voice laced with sleepiness. His constant foot shaking had been pulling you in and out of sleep since the two of you had settled down for the night. But you had kept quiet in the hopes that he would be able to fall asleep eventually.

"I'm sorry," Quinn whispers sheepishly, his fingers start drawing soothing circles into your waist, from where his arm is wrapped around you. "I didn't mean to wake you," he murmers, pressing his lips against your hair in a gentle kiss.

"It's alright, love. But can you please please stop shaking your foot?" You mutter, still half asleep.

"Yeah, sorry baby," he murmers sheepishly. He stills his foot, and somehow, the thoughts become ten times more intense. He's going on a full week with a total of maybe four hours of sleep. It's fucking hell. He's been getting snappy during the day. Although you mostly leave it be, because he usually apologizes right after, and you know he doesn't mean when he says it, and it's just his anxiety about not being able to play.

Deciding that there is no use in trying to sleep, he waits until your breathing evens out into a quiet snore before untangling himself from you and slipping out of the bedroom quietly. Quinn finds himself in the kitchen, with no plan on what to do. It's nearly three in the morning.

He settles onto the floor in favour of stretching. Hoping that it will help calm him at least enough so that he's no longer obscenely jittery. Unfortunately, it does nothing useful for him. His next idea is to watch a movie. Maybe something stupid and mind-numbing will put him to sleep.

He makes himself a cup of chamomile tea and sinks into the couch, turning on the first Despicable Me movie. It's perfectly stupid enough to get him no longer thinking about hockey. Except, then there's a freeze-ray. And then Vector's in-house shark aquarium is reminding him of the Canucks.

He pauses the movie and puts down his empty mug on the coffee table with such a deep sigh. It feels as though his bones are rattling. He presses his palms to his eyes in desperation, wishing oh so terribly that he could be skating and playing hockey. He feels chained, having not been allowed on the ice for so long.

His second home, his freedom. Where it feels like he's flying. Where he feels invincible, like he can do anything. Quinn springs up from the couch, and he's pacing. He paces around the living room with such fervor that he might wear a hole into the floor.

He needs to get on the ice. Now. Or he's going to rip his hair out. And then, on top of being injured, he'll also be bald. Which would be the second worst thing to ever happen to him. The first being the fact that he hasn't been allowed on the ice for two full weeks.

With no coherent plan, he creeps around the apartment, throwing his skating equipment in a spare duffle bag. He's grabbing his car keys and slipping on his shoes when the bedroom door opens with a creek.

"Quinn?" Your voice is tired and confused. You're hugging your arms around your body to protect yourself from the chill of the apartment.

Quinn looks like a deer caught in headlights. His hair is sticking up in every which direction, his eyes are red from exhaustion, and his eyebags are so so dark. He's wearing two different shoes, and for fucks sake he's not even wearing a shirt.

You amble over to him cautiously, gently tugging the duffle bag from his hand. You can see the blades of his skates sticking out of the bag. "Baby, what are you doing?" Your eyes dart over to the time on the microwave. It's 3:47 am.

"Y/n" he breathes, it's desperate and pleading, and all you want to do is wrap him in your arms and take away all his pain and worries. "I need to go- I need to get out. I'm going insane." He whispers. There's a tremor in his hands as he runs them through his hair.

"Ok, my love, we're gonna go. Let's go put on some proper clothes first." You say lacing your fingers with his and tugging him towards the bedroom. He sighs, squeezing your hand tightly. Like he needs the physical reminder that you're with him. Otherwise, you'll disappear.

You successfully coax him into a hoodie and a touqe and pull a pair of sweatpants and one of Quinn's hoodies over your (his) t-shirt. Making sure Quinn is wearing the correct set of shoes, you grab the keys off the hook, sling his duffle bag over your shoulder, and grab his hand. As soon as your hands are linked again, his grip is tight. And you wouldn't have it any other way.

You throw his bag in the back seat and slide into the driver's side while Quinn slips into the passenger seat. As soon as he can, he grabs your hand again. You hold your intertwined hands tucked under your chin while you drive.

"Talk to me, Quinn," you murmur softly, stroking your thumb over the back of his knuckles.

Quinn sighs shakily. He wants to talk to you. He really does. But he's so used to burying everything down, to not be a burden. He's the oldest. He's supposed to be the leader, the strong one. He knows in his heart that if there's anyone he can talk to, it's you. You don't push. You know he'll talk when he's ready.

His leg is bouncing, and he's running his hand through his hair nervously as he formulates his thoughts into coherent sentences. "I feel like i'm going insane," he mutters. "i need - i need to get on the ice. It's my freedom. I feel chained to existence because I haven't been able to skate for so long."

Your heart breaks for him as you squeeze his hand, letting him know that you're listening.

"I'm sorry, that doesn't make any sense," he sighs.

"No baby, it does, I get what you're saying," you say softly.

"It's like, I'm being punished for something. Am I a bad person?" His voice is cracking, and if you thought it impossible for your heart to break further, you were just proven wrong.

"No, Quinn, you aren't a bad person. Injuries are inevitable. You didn't do anything to deserve this. I promise you, my love." You kiss the back of his hand, hoping that your lips can pour all your love and reassurance into him.

"Where are we going?" Quinn asks, squinting curiously at the rapidly passing treeline. You had exited onto the highway a little bit ago, with no plan or intention.

You shrug your shoulders, "No idea, I'm just driving."

Guilt washes over Quinn like a tidal wave. He tugs his hand from yours and covers his face, with embarrassment and exasperation at himself. He sighs into his hands, and all of a sudden, the emotions are too much again.

"Quinn?" You glance at him with concern. He's breathing deeply, trying to keep the anxiety from spiking again.

"I'm so sorry, I woke you up and dragged out at such an ungodly hour. And fuck- you have work in the morning. Baby, I'm sorry, I'm sorry -" he sounds like he's on the verge of hyperventilating.

"Quinn, baby, look at me." Your voice is so gentle as you wrap your hand around his wrist and tug it away from his face, "You are the most important thing to me. Forever and always, especially especially right now. Please, please, please, don't beat yourself up about it. I would drop everything for you in a heartbeat, my love."

His breathing is still shallow. You rest his hand on your chest and take deep, slow breaths. "Copy my breathing, Quinn."

It takes a minute for his breathing to match yours, "Good job Honey" you smile, keeping his hand pressed against your chest.

"Can we go home?" He whispers, intertwining his fingers with yours.

"Of course, baby, whatever you want." You take the next exit and head in the direction of your shared apartment. The drive is mostly silent, only the sounds of deep breathing and the occasional shuddering sigh fill the car.

As soon as you're back in the apartment, Quinn is pulling off his hoodie and toque, "I need you to lay on top of me," Quinn all but begs.

"Alright, lay down wherever you want." You say, stripping if your own hoodie and sweats. He lays on the floor. The bed is too soft. He can't handle the sinking feeling. You lay directly on top of him, and he let's out a relieved sigh, his arms tightening around your waist.

"Love you so much, Y/n," he murmers into your cheek.

"I love you too, Quinn, with all my heart," you say gently, stroking his hair soothingly. He falls asleep within half an hour, and you pass out right after him.

And when the two of you wake up, if you take him skating. Well, that's no one's business but your own.

---

I know I said I probably wasn't gonna post for like a week and a half cause of school, but the inspiration hit, and I wrote this in like... an hour. So if it's really bad, well...

And just cause I haven't said it before, everything I write is purely fictional! I don't know how the hughes act in real life! I am simply writing them as characters.

I might end up taking this one down, so...

Anyways. Please take care of yourselves, yall. Leave comments! And as always, Love Soph.

[hogans-heroes]

Clegan soulmate string canonverse

Wow I was not expecting this much of a response! This is actually my newest idea I’ve just started plotting and we can all say thank you to @heretoobsessstuff for their tags on my post about “married at first sight” clegan

#Bucky was like I’ll tie that damn red string of fate around ur ankle myself if I have to

The premise being that red soulmate strings are attached to people’s wrists and are just wrapped there in a bracelet-type thing until they meet their soulmate, at which time the strings will unfurl and attach to each other. People can see their own soul-strings and their soulmate’s but no one else’s.

Bucky loves his soul-string and what it represents. He’s been tending to it his whole life, learning to love and be loved, which makes the cord stronger and more vibrant. He weaves it with his fingers and heart and hope, it sits in a beautiful braided cord around his wrist and he plays with it a lot.

Cue the first day of flight training when he’s getting settled in his room, waiting for his assigned roommate, when the door opens and suddenly Bucky’s soul-string jerks. It uncurls and soars across the room and Bucky’s heart soars with it. He whirls around to see a wide-eyed blond boy disheveled from travel and holding a single duffle bag, staring at Bucky’s cord as it dances toward him, and then Bucky sees it.

The boy’s own cord is ripped off only a few inches from his wrist. It dangles, shredded, unraveling and dull. It twitches toward Bucky’s string and the two pieces flit around each other for a bit before falling away. Bucky’s cord drifts to the floor but it doesn’t return to wind on his wrist, apparently unwilling to leave its other half. Bucky can’t pull his eyes from the destroyed string. He’s had damage to his string before, tiny little worn spots where his heart was broken or he’d been wounded by someone. Even the smallest blow to the cord hurt terribly, and was repaired before long with care by Bucky and loved ones. But this…

The other boy looks shattered, a surge of longing in his eyes before they go blank and he covers his corded wrist with his other hand.

“Sorry,” he rasps, swallowing hard and looking anywhere but Bucky.

Bucky’s head is spinning. He feels like he’s crashing in flames and he’s never been in a plane yet, but soul-strings be damned, these shimmering blue eyes now mean more to him than the whole world, and he fights through the existential panic to hold out his hands.

“Hey, no. It’s ok,” he breathes, trying to smile encouragingly as he guides the other boy to the empty bed.

———

(Going through canonverse a lot of drama happens, not at the least perpetuated by Bucky manually tying their strings together before a mission. (Soulmates can feel each other through the cord when tugged). Gale feeling broken and unworthy of Bucky because his cord was destroyed by his past, but wanting. Both desperately trying to learn how to fix Gale’s soul-string, and the stalag making everything much, much worse.)

@coastiewife465 @kmk1701d @alienoresimagines @amiserableseriesofevents

[anthonys237thfreckle]

‘Let You Break My Heart Again’ - Javier ‘Javi’ x Kate Carter & F! reader (angst songfic)

I WAS LISTENING TO LAUFEY ON REPEAT AND REMINDED OF MY HIGH SCHOOL LOVE TRIANGLE SO WHY NOT WRITE A FIC ABOUT IT!!! HERE YOU GO!

part two

prompt: your heart belonged to javi, but his belonged to kate.

TW: unrequited love, angst, crying, swearing, mentions of death, suicidal thoughts (happens thrice), loss of appetite more than once, breakdowns, mention of throwing up.

Feeling kind of sick tonight

All I've had is coffee and leftover pie..

Today was just the worst. Shitty day at work, your in-charge was being a sweetheart to everyone except you, it’s like the whole world was playing a cruel joke on you today.

With no will to eat, you mindlessly looked in your fridge, the cool air and cool glow hitting your skin. Your eyes skimmed through something to hopefully make your feel better, and your eyes landed on a small glass Tupperware.

Peach cobbler pie.

You sighed, taking it out of the fridge and setting it on the counter, brewing some black coffee. The paperwork you had been procrastinating on started to pile up, and you had some weather reports due tomorrow. You needed the bitter drug, the pie there to balance the taste with its tender sweetness.

You were tender once; you were sweet once…

It’s no wonder why…

Life became hard and bitter once you moved away.

Well, did you have a reason to stay?

After that EF5, after holding onto Kate in that underpass for dear life, making sure she didn’t get sucked into that twister, Javi found you two and called the cops to help you both out.

Thing is, you always knew Javi had a thing for Kate. Even when she was dating Jeb, you saw the way he looked at her, the same way you’d look at him. And Kate didn’t ignore those looks of his, nor did she not notice them…

Ooh, still you take up all my mind…

You almost confided in Addy or Praveen about your feelings. You loved Javier. Ever since you both got super close in college. Ever since he’d always treat you like a good friend would. You ran on this high, you chased to be in his line of sight, craved his attention… You were soft, you were tender, you were sweet. You wanted to be it all, for him.

I don't even think that you care like I do

You were known as the ‘ray of sunshine’ or the ‘sweetheart’ in your friend group because you were just so nice. Mostly in the hopes of wooing Javier whenever you could. Make him think what it would be like to date you. Part of you loved to see his smile, loved the ‘thank you’s he’d give you, collecting them like shiny rocks. You usually found them on your morning walks, giving one to Javi whenever you thought he’d like them. But he just put them in his bag and forgot about them a few days later.

I should stop, heaven knows I've tried…

Days in college were spent fantasizing about him; about the way his arms would feel around you. He rarely hugged you. 3 times, to be exact - on his birthday, the day you both passed your finals, and when he found you were okay after the EF5. You couldn’t help but want to call him, text him, but what would you say?

And if he really wanted to talk to you, why didn’t he already? It’s been 5 years since you both have exchanged a word. 5 years since you two have seen each other’s faces. you had changed since college, no doubt. your hair was different; layered. Your style changed a little bit too, you wore makeup to work, in the hopes of being treated differently. You looked prettier with makeup on, anyways. Just a little highlighter, mascara, blush… nothing too overboard. Part of you dolled yourself up in the hopes of running into Javi in the streets somehow.

‘I should stop’ you thought to yourself as you got ready one day for work. You stared at your reflection, not knowing what you were looking for. Sighing, you finished up your makeup, surrendering to beautification, heading off to work.

“Someone’s here for you in the conference room” a co-worker told you. You gave them a confused look, walking to the conference room, to meet a familiar mop of curly hair - a lot shorter now, and the man you loved in a suit. Javier Rivera.

Of course he convinced you to come back to chasing storms. Of course he said it’ll be almost like the old times. Of course Kate was coming too.

You wanted to say no, you wanted to say you couldn’t, but he came all the way to look for you; once tender and sweet. The prospect of someone looking for you was something you dreamed of since you were an angsty teen. The prospect of someone caring about you enough to come back…

At least you tried to decline.

One day, I will stop falling in love with you

Some day, someone will like me like I like you…

The drive to Oklahoma was meant to be awkward. It meant to be tense. It meant to be hard on Javi. To make him feel bad. For you to act all pouty and mean just because you could. Just so you could if not tell, show him how hurt you were when he just disappeared.

But when he started to smile, crack jokes, retell stories, you couldn’t help but be nice in return. The rushing feelings came back, and for a moment, you forgot about Kate. You forgot about life being bitter and hard. All you remembered was being sweet and tender, because with Javi, it was familiar. It was natural. It felt like home.

Every soft look from Javi made you fall harder for him. To be treated like he once did to you. Friends. Best friends.

You both drove to Oklahoma, which wasn’t too far exactly, and he offered if you wanted to go out for dinner with him and Kate.

You wanted to be hard and bitter again.

As you and Javi went into a local diner near a motel, you both saw Kate sitting in a booth, waving to you. Or so you thought - she was looking Javi in the eye, who had a grin on his face. He sat in the booth with Kate, opposite to you. They both smiled at each other, and you wanted to be swallowed by the same EF5 your friends left in, because maybe, just maybe, Javi would have cared more about you if you were dead.

Until then, I'll drink my coffee, eat my pie

Pretend that we are more than friends…

“… just some coffee and peach cobbler pie, please” you flashed the waiter a warm, tired smile. You didn’t look at Javi or Kate, rather traced the wooden table, stared out the window, faked a yawn, bounced your leg.. of course they didn’t say anything to you. They had their little side conversation.

As your face was turned a 90 degree angle from the two, from the corner of your eye, you saw Kate squeeze Javi’s bicep. You downed a mouthful of coffee, coughing after. Javi handed you a tissue, not sparing you a glance as he laughed at something Kate said.

Suddenly you have no appetite.

Then, of course, I'll let you break my heart again

You put your head down on the table, Kate glanced at the mop of hair on the table

“Hey, you doin’ okay?” she asked softly, Javi looked at you for the first time during dinner.

“Do you feel sick?” He asked brows knitting in concern.

You shot up, rubbing your eyes. “Yeah, this coffee made me feel sick.” Javi looked at your basically untouched pie, but empty cup of coffee, and back into your rosy eyes.

“Get some rest, yeah?” Kate suggested. Javi nodded. You sighed.

“Yeah, okay. Goodnight, you two” you rubbed your face, giving them a small wave. They both smiled softly, waving back.

As you reached the exit, you looked over your shoulder as much as you didn’t want to, and saw the two smiling and laughing again.

With a heavy heart, you checked into your motel, took a sip of water to calm your body down, and with one glance in the mirror, you broke down; crying yourself to sleep, with tears staining your face and your pillows, the land of rest took you in for the night.

I'm just tryna understand what I am to you

More than songs, we've exchanged

Midnight calls, sunset views

Over the next few days, you spent them chasing with Storm Par. Of couse Javi went with Kate. She had more genius than you did, apparently, even though you two were both equally smart.

Javi talked to you that morning, his charming grin greeting you along with the early morning sun.

“Dandy weather, yeah?” he nudged you, trying to get you to cheer up. You rewarded his efforts with a small, half hearted smile.

You both had a pretty genuine chat, just like in college, until Kate joined you two. Then again, you were invisible. And the tension between the two was as strong as a supercell. You were obviously hurt, because your time in college was so much… richer. Late at night after curfew, you two would sneak out because you two were the only ones up for that kinda stuff. You’d go to the roof, stay up there talking all night then watch the sunrise together. Now, the only one he orbited was Kate, Kate, Kate.

Then, it was time to chase.

You paired up with Scott instead, being a little emotionless that day, and gave him a respectful nod of acknowledgement. The chase was silent apart from the orders coming from the radio. No conversation was initiated - you didn’t wanna have another breakdown.

For the first chase, which failed because Kate had a PTSD attack, you saw Javi comfort her after they got back to the motel; The sky was now dark, every storm chaser had a bonfire up, the atmosphere was enough to heal Kate alone, but of course, Javi was there for her too.

Your heart clenched. You remembered how hard you cried last night, almost suffocating against the sheets many times. The room was dull, taunting, and the only thing who could have helped you in that moment was Javi. But why would he see your pain and not Kate’s first?

You all gathered around the bonfire - the Storm Par crew, some other group called the Tornado Wranglers, some local chasers and what not. You saw the tall, orange fire. It looked inviting. Your breathing stilled, your body relaxed, your mind wandered.

You were disassociating, looking at everything from the 3rd person POV, the chasers in a circle around the fire, Kate and Javi next to each other a few seats away from you, talking like normal. You kept saying Javi’s name, yelling it, screaming it, but no matter what you did, he didn’t even spare you a glance. So you looked behind, turning around, and saw the fire. Without a second glance at him, without thinking, you walked into the warm, welcoming flames, feeling it consume you, swallow you whole-

At the sound of everyone toasting to more twisters, you snapped out of your little morbid daydream. Looking over at Javi and Kate, you saw her leaning against his side, his arm around her waist, smiles on their faces. Kate whispered something into Javi’s ear, and he looked down at her with a grin. She cupped his cheek, your eyes stung, he leaned in, capturing her lips in a soft, romantic, kiss.

Promise I don't mean to cry

But I get overwhelmed and confused

If only you knew what I felt like

Your eyes stung, your bile rose in your throat, your lungs felt like they were collapsing and you wanted nothing more than to be disoriented, sedated, dead.

Breathing hard, you fled for the fields. Knocking over one of Javi’s beer bottles by accident, you speed walked, then ran to the backside of the motel, where there was a patch of grass. The surroundings were dark, the crickets seemed to taunt you, and your head was spinning. You needed more air than you could take in, your head had a dull, throbbing pain in it, you wanted to throw up, purge those feelings onto the soft grass.

You cried, covering your face and cried. Hard. Your whole body was stiff.

He kissed her

He kissed her. Oh he kissed her, he kissed her, he kissed her.

You didn’t even hear the footsteps behind you. You didn’t even register Javi running after you to check in on you.

“God damnit, are you okay? What’s wrong?!” He panicked, not touching you, though he knew you loved physical touch.

Why would he, anyway? He had a girlfriend-

Kate Carter.

“Leave… me a-alone” you wheezed, hiding your face, curling into a ball onto the dirt.

“Please” you begged, “I-I can’t be down here, I need to go ho-home” you cried “it- it’s a family emergency.” you lied through your teeth. Of course he wouldn’t question it. He didn’t care enough to even look at you. Why would he question a pretty good reason?

Javi looked at you, his face concerned. He nodded.

“I- Okay, alright. Take care, (Y/N)” he said softly. Genuinely.

It took all your willpower not to launch yourself into his arms. But the thought that Kate had been in them more often than you did sickened you.

One day, I will stop falling in love with you

Some day, someone will like me like I like you

So you ran through the fields, ran until your lungs burned, until you were going to faint, running on nothing but peach cobbler pie and coffee since almost 24 hours ago.

Your legs gave out, and your hands embraced the ground below, seeking comfort from Mother Nature which nobody could give you. Your body was folded and like a wounded animal, you let out guttural, gut wrenching sobs. You wanted to unsee it, to pour Javi’s beer over your eyes, to gouge them out for their sockets.

“Make it stop” you sobbed, choking on your saliva. “Please, make it stop” you prayed to the heavens above and the spirits below. You needed this to stop. The pain, the jealousy, the love to stop.

You fell asleep there in the field, Your breathing ragged, yet eventually even. You mumbled, whimpered, cried in your sleep. Seeing Javi kiss Kate. Seeing Javi hug Kate. Seeing Javi move in with Kate. Seeing Javi say ‘I love you’ to Kate, and Kate saying ‘I love you’ back. It was all Javi and Kate, Javi and Kate, Javi and Kate…

It wasn’t until one of the Wranglers found you that you woke up.

“Hey, it’s the girl from Storm Par!” The blonde man said to himself. You stirred, groaning.

“Tyler Owens?” you blinked your eyes open, he offered you a hand, which you ignored and got up.

“What’re you doin’ out here in the fields?” He asked, chewing some wheat between his teeth.

You hesitated. “Long story, but if you can drive me to the train station, I think we have enough time to go over it.” you asked with a pleading look. “Please, Tyler, one favour”

Tyler sighed, giving up “Sure. That’s what friends are for”. You smiled, thanking him.

Then you both disappeared off to the train station at 6:35 in the morning, where Tyler was so kind to lend you a ride. You went over the whole story, since college to now. 5 years worth of internalized drama, not sparing a single detail; He nodded along, gave his animated reactions, gave his input and advice where necessary. And soon enough, you were at the train station.

“Thanks for the ride, Tyler.” you thanked again, genuinely “and dont tell anyone about this” you said seriously, referring to the situation you described.

“Scout’s honour” He gave you his flashy smile “Take care out there, cowgirl” he chuckled. You nodded and smiled, grabbing your bag.

“You too”

Until then, I'll drink my coffee, eat my pie

Pretend that we are more than friends

Then, of course, I'll let you break my heart again

Back at home, you delved back into work, relieved to be away from the new couple. Life was bitter and hard, accompanied by your peach cobbler pie; you never really got over Javi and Kate, you just tried forgetting about them. Whenever you read a romance book or watched some rom-com, you imagined the couples to be you and Javi. Sometimes, you’d dream of you and Javi together, as a couple.

But as you dreamed of this, a few states away, Kate was living your wished reality.

—

taglist!!:

@urbexbat

[space-bowl]

Soon you will see We'll animate just you and me Signed in blood or even ink Before you know we'll all be Part of this machine

-Blood and Ink by NateWantstoBattle

Bonus:

Just a dream...or a terrible memory?

[florsial]

Spreading my 2 headed lamb Regulus animagus agenda with Black Brother angst!!!

word: 820

someone give Sirius a hug or something like damn he rlly going through it

WWE WERE BORN TO DIEEEEEEEEEEE ( i love ldr music)

As he walks, the crunching of the branches underneath his feet calms the harsh beating of his heart. It hadn't been a good day. He felt like he was constantly being watched by his parents. The entire day was spent anxiously looking over his shoulders, expecting his mother to turn a corner with a wand in hand or his father to yank his shoulder with a bruising grip when his back was turned.

He really needed his walk, at least that was what James insisted on.

For a couple of minutes, he manages to clear his head, the grip of his parents loosened, leaving his mind to heal from the harsh and bruising touch. His feet soon stopped near the edge of the Forbidden Forest, and he was able to see Hagrid's hut, he figured he might as well stop by to say hi.

Sirius takes a couple of steps before he promptly stops. With widened eyes, he takes a step back from the disfigured animal. A two-headed black lamb, a baby, but not exactly a newborn, nowhere near a sheep. Its two heads conjoined by the side of their faces, the eyes wide and watching Sirius' movement with unsettling attention. The animal was creepy and yet he could not look away.

It made a noise, from one of its heads, and its legs wobbled a bit. A small movement that makes Sirius' heart ache pitifully. Remus had a farm back in Wale. He told Sirius of animals, sometimes humans, born with more than one head and dying not much sooner because they simply were born to die, doomed from the very beginning. They wouldn't have been able to survive the harsh world with the disability, nor would their bodies be able to continue the demands of life. And looking at the lamb, he thinks of how this might be the last time he sees it.

With slow steps to not scare the animal, he approaches with an outstretched hand. A comforting gesture. He manages to close enough where he can sit down and pet its soft fleece. The animal reciprocates the action, settling down to the ground beside Sirius.

"Hey there little guy," He hums.

The lamb doesn't reply, only closing its eyes. So Sirius continues to talk, "How have ya been? Well I hope, you look tired."

"I am too you know?" He runs his fingers through the soft black fleece. The animal shifts its position, slowly maneuvering itself to Sirius' lap.

"Looks like both of us are worn out, huh?"

The lamb never replies, Sirius guesses it takes too much out of the animal. So he fills the silence with his chatter about his friends, his academics, pranks, and Remus, but soon it shifts to a bit of his parents, and some of Regulus, which leaves his eyes watery. Despite never getting a baa in reply, he feels heard and comforted by the lamb.

When he finishes, he finds his face damp. The lamb leans closer and Sirius begins to sob into the black fleece. He admits in his tears, that he misses his family. He misses the times when their mother didn't scold them for minor things and gave them a cold shoulder, when their father wasn't locked up in his office or shouting at their mother, and the times he played with Regulus while the little boy was still oblivious to the world and giggled at every little thing.

At that, the lamb finally replied in its soft baaa from one of its heads. A sound that draws a wet chuckle from Sirius.

"Thank you," he mumbles softly against the fleece, "Lulu would like you, he's always been fond of lambs."

Another baa in response that makes Sirius smile.

He isn't able to stay with the lamb for long though, because he hears the familiar calls of, "Padfoot! Padfoot!" And he knows that his friends must be looking for him. Sirius turns to the lamb who is now slowly moving off of Sirius. A clear sign that he is about to leave. He wants to tell it to stay but before his mouth can form the words, the lamb makes a sound and turns around to leave. He watches the lamb move further but isn't able to stay long enough to see it fully leave his sight before his friends jump him with a group hug. Dragging his eyes away from the leaving lamb.

For the rest of his time in Hogwarts, he doesn't see the two-headed lamb again. It's only when he takes another walk to clear his head during the war in 1979, does he see it again. Black fleece and two heads conjoined standing on wobbly legs, staring directly at him, but it didn't feel like a visit, it felt like a goodbye. A permanent one.

The next day, Regulus is declared dead and Sirius never sees the two-headed black lamb again.

[n0n-sen-se]

bats my pretty eyelashes at you

Sen I have a request!!

Im still sick could I mayhaps have some agnsty comfort headcannons with my fave boys Sanemi and Rengoku?

Thank you Sen!! 🫶🏾

-🍷

mayhaps you absolutely can anon! i present to you:

𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐒/𝐎 𝐆𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐒𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬!

includes ;; sanemi, rengoku, gn!reader content ;; angst, hurt/comfort a/n ;; i flatlined writing this so- anyway, considering i had no idea how to start these for a good minute; i think they're pretty good (!?) also sorry for writing so much (wanted to get it just right)so i can hope?

☆☆☆ # sanemi shinazugawa !

gets nervous. extremely nervous- and angry, to the point that he's shaking with anxiety.

at first, the sight of you bedridden makes him frown. and he'll do it often too.

he's lost a ton of people he cares about, your not going to be next.

although he tries to act angry, or short with you sometimes. . . its just to cover up the fact that he's terrified of losing you. (or the prospect of it)

he'd like to be next to you at any given moment, grabbing you warm food and tucking you in to the point you can't squirm out. anything. but he just- he can't

hell, he'd take the pain from you if he could, without an ounce of hesitation. . . but he can only watch and wait. . . until you get better.

but most times he physically can't be there.

the nights he has to be away from you, he's carrying out missions for the corps and cutting/beating down anyone that gets in his way.

everyone feels his uncertainty and rage:

in the way he overkills those poor lesser demons, the way he shoves the kakushi out of his way, and going as far as fighting another hashira over it

like his violent outbursts- it's literally out of his control, on top of the fact that he can barely care for you himself when you need him most.

what was the point of getting so strong? those years of training. what was the point if he was so helpless?

when he gets the chance too (after a long night of work that has his muscles seizing) he'll climb into bed with you and just hold you.

listening to your unsteady breathing, and when he's sure your in a deep sleep, he'll cry.

soundlessly, but his body is shuddering with silent pain. . . and he's trying not to let his tears fall on you but. . . he's really:

❛sorry. i'm so sorry❜

eventually, he feels he owes it to you to explain all of his frustrations, and worries.

he waits until you wake up, waiting the whole night without budging or even thinking about falling asleep.

and when you wake up, he whispers it to you, hugging you tightly so you can't see his eyes watering up or his teeth grinding against each other. he feels like an entire idiot explaining it to you.

afterwards, takes a deep (shaky) breath and kisses you tiredly. who cares if he gets sick too, he's too tired to care.

☆☆☆ # kyojuro rengoku !

he's been around sickness.

he knows the signs. and he knows how to treat most things; come fevers, chills, aches, he can handle it.

what he can't handle, is how it makes him so uneasy.

when you get sick, its one of the few times you ever see him so serious and solemn.

feeding you, helping you bathe, cuddling up to you for body heat and comfort. anything you need, he'll try to be a whim away.

kyojuro knows a bad morale won't do any good for you, so, like always, he'll try to be the ray of sunshine you need. . .

but it breaks his heart every time.

when your sore throat breaks, when you groan from the aches, wince at the pain in your head. . . the fact you can never be comfortable despite everything he tries.

you'll see it too. in his face. the slight knot in his brows, the way his lips are pressed tightly together.

he's just so helpless, forced to watch and wait while your health is on the line.

kyojuro goes in and out of your room, fetching water for you, or soup- whatever helpful excuse he can make up- to go somewhere quiet and cry his heart out.

like the snap of his fingers, he's a little kid all over again. it reminds him so much of his mother.

its hard to pull himself together. he's rarely cried so hard before, so he sucks at covering it up. (his eyes would be puffy and his nose a little runny) at that point you'd think he was sick too

he always tries to hold you hand, squeezing you palm tightly in his. and he hopes its as reassuring to you as it is to him.

because he needs it to.

falls asleep next to you from exhaustion. (he's sitting next to you, head resting on the mattress) and somehow wakes up at the slightest noise you make-- despite his ear being partially deaf.

he always goes the extra mile to get your medicine, dedicated to you and your health.

tries to remind himself that it will be okay (and he tells you that often to) but it can hardly shake the worry and dread off his heart.

[notsosmug87]

Saw the leaked episode descriptions

While real or not I think it is safe to say part 2 will be absolutely banging and the hype might actually be on par.

Saying this however, the Leaks could be early drafts or just straight up wrong so I’d keep an eye open.

And if they are real…

Arin fans, how we feelin.

[nightixx]

"what do you mean angst hurts ? You mean emotionally right ?"

No

It HURTS like THIS.

[enidette]

my whole inbox is full of smut requests

[articskele]

Hc that Adam has cold hands. He’s definitely the kinda guy to jab people with his cold hands when they least expect it bc he’s a lil shit like that- But even when the heater is on and he’s covered in blankets, even when he's constantly wearing finger gloves, there’s just this warmth missing. Adam tells Sarah that he's an alternate, and they get into a horrible argument. He tries to reach out to Sarah before she can storm off, but she flinches at his touch and slaps his hand away. “Just go away. You’re cold.”

[missbooielibrary]

i do not know why i torture myself w/ angst like this

anyways quick rant ig. i feel like MC getting hurt or kidnapped in the om! world is such a likely occurrence esp in the beginning of the story and this just hurts so good

How would the brothers and dateables react to missing Mc? Like one day Mc just disappeared and they can't find them no matter how hard they try. Totally angst :)

Brothers And Dateables React To Missing MC

They're gone. Dissapeared one day, without any signs of a struggle. No matter hard they search, how much they plead, they're nowhere to be found. Their soul is gone.

LUCIFER

On the outside, Lucifer may appear stoic and collected, but he's slowly delving into despair. No matter how hard he looks, they're nowhere to be found.

He doesn't know what happened, except that MC dissapeared from their room, gone, without any signs of a struggle or message. Lucifer doesn't even know if they've been kidnapped or..killed.

There's a rage brewing in his eyes as he devises a plan and a search party. With his connections, his brothers, and even the power of Lord Diavolo and Barbatos MC must be found... right...?

Lucifer eventually realized the search was hopeless, when he touched his pact mark and tried to reach out to MC, but he didn't even feel anything.

Were they gone..? Were they in the Celestial Realm? Travelling through dimensions? Barbatos and Simeon's face told him all that he needed to know.

He was the eldest. He had to be collected and be the pillar of his family, even if he was falling inside. So Lucifer hardened his emotions as he tried to pull his family together, even if they lashed out at him.

Lucifer hide himself away, distant and cold. He refused to be pitied, even if Asmodeus and his brothers shot him knowing glances.

He gave his heart twice. And lost it twice. It was buried with MC now.

Despite how cold he seems after their 'death', the vinyl playing in his room didn't do a good job at covering the sounds of bottles shattering and wails escaping.

MAMMON

He couldn't quite believe it. They were in their room, and the next thing...they had dissapeared? Where? By whom? Were they kidnapped? Were they....okay?

He was desperately trying to do something, call their phone or search the house along with his brothers, but they weren't there.

With the search party his brother had organised, he devoted himself to looking for them, but the determination fizzled out when he desperately tried to touch the pact mark, to feel anything of MC's, their heartbeat, their soul, but he was met with silence.

Mammon almost attacked Barbatos when he confirmed they weren't coming back...their soul was wiped out from existence...

He refused to believe it. But he had to, eventually, when he was forced to.

He was MC's first man, for hell's sake! He was supposed to protect them!

Mammon threw himself into his sin, with even more ferocity, but even the witches pitied him, claiming one whose soul is gone can't be brought back.

He nearly killed the witches in disbelief, only when he was dragged back to the house by Lucifer did he collapse on the steps, crying as he begged MC to come back.

Some of MC's possessions are with him now, which he guards with his life. They're the only reminder Mammon has left of them, and he'll protect it.

LEVIATHAN

There's nothing he can do expect wring his hands and hide away in his despair.

He was frozen, tongue-tied as he looked on in shock. Only when he was reminded of his position did he spring into action. His soldiers were summoned, and they ventured into the Devildom waters. If MC was found, they were to be brought back and the kidnappers brought: dead or alive.

But it soon became clear they weren't coming back, when he had ventured into the deepest depths of the sea, and in a desperate attempt, tried to use their pact. But he was met with dangerous silence, just like the ocean.

When even a Prince and an angel couldn't find MC, how could he? He refused to accept they weren't existing anymore, and for a long time the Devildom waters were dangerous to be in, for anyone who's ventured in was drowned by the waves.

He retired to his room, defeated and tired. Levi was in a haze for days, refusing to accept their death. Only when he tried to call them on their D.D.D., and he didn't hear their voice, only then did he fully take in the fact they were gone.

For a long while, he couldn't even sleep, trying to ignore reality by diving into his virtual world, but on seeing MC's controller, the screen shattered.

Everything in his room reminded him of them. The pillow they liked to sleep with, the game progress Levi had saved with them, photos of him and MC cosplaying...

The only sound from his room is the music from his video games, and if one looks closer they can see the dark circles under Levi's eyes and his grumpiness. He refuses to accept reality, choosing to dive into the fictional world.

SATAN

He did not take MC's dissapearance very well. By 'very well' he was fuming as he tried to control the immediate anger that came. He was stuck in that haze for a long time, cursing himself and his brothers for not watching over MC.

Only when he was harshly reprimanded did he spring into action, putting his knowledge and skills into action. Satan pulled out a map of the Devildom, marking all the places where MC could be and lead the party in searching for clues, and with the aid of his connections.

But when all his brothers eventually began to fall down one by one, he had to too....The search was leading to nowhere, and for the first time his knowledge failed him.

Despair set in when Satan tried to feel the pact power, but he felt nothing on MC's side. They were gone, blipped out of existence, not even a fragment remaining.

He turned to the sorcerer, but even he couldn't say anything. It all led to anger, as Satan destroyed half of the house, with claw marks and torn fabric in every corner.

His room suffered the same fate. Countless books were torn when they couldn't bring MC back. Eventually, the anger turned to sorrow as he wept in his room.

It's almost like what he was before. Wrathful, lashing out in an instance. Satan's far too gone now to come back...whatever's left of them in this world, he'll protect it.

All the feelings and scenery he knew with MC are gone now, dead, buried with them. And they can't come back, nor can MC, nor can the last bit of humanity in him.

ASMODEUS

He was in a frenzy when he found out MC was missing. Trying to call them, searching the House, all in vain.

With his connections, he tried to look for them, but they weren't found. Not by him or his brothers efforts. On a stormy night, he eventually mustered the strength to try and use the pact, but when he was met with silence, he broke sobbing.

The power was so intense that Solomon rushed to see where his friend was. Asmodeus was begging the mage to find out where MC was, but the look of despair on his own face said everything....

For days, all he did was weep, until his appearance was one of red eyes and dried tears on his cheeks. The House was silent, save for the occasional destruction by Satan.

Eventually, he tried to pull himself together, making meals with Beelzebub and ensuring that his brothers sit down and eat something, even if they rushed out storming.

His glamour is gone, replaced by a broken demon. Asmodeus doesn't go out, he can't, and most of his time is spent clearing up the mess created in the House and trying to comfort his brothers.

He's mustering up the strength because that is what MC would have done, and wanted. Their room lies undisturbed, not a speck of dirt, with a spell to ensure it never decays, and that the leaves of the tree remain fresh as ever.

BEELZEBUB

They..MC...they won't, they can't...he can't let this happen again...he can't.

When he found out they were missing, he stormed outside, in his search for MC he desperately tried to look for them. He can't lose them too, he lost Lilith already.

Only when he tried to use their pact, did he finally realize it. They were gone. Not even a fragment of their soul remaining. Beel screamed as he fell down, sobbing and defeated, failed to protect his family.

The pain alerted Belphegor, who rushed to where his twin was, and his face also made Belphegor realize the one thing he was refusing to: MC was gone.

Both grieved in their pain, just as they had after the Fall. Belphegor slept most of the time, and Beel, apart from eating carefully preserved all their belongings.

A memorial was made for MC, and Beel spent most of his time there. A part of him hoped for a sign, an assurance that MC watched over them like Lilith did, but it was the same part that died when he remembered that their soul was gone.

He and Asmodeus cooked together, and he tried to ensure Belphegor ate to maintain his health, and he and Asmo sent the trays to their brothers rooms.

One time in the night, his hands instinctively reached for the bag of chips MC liked, and Beelzebub had to quieten his sobs as he retreated, finding comfort in Belphegor who hugged him tight as they both wept.

BELPHEGOR

All his sleepiness dissapeared when he found out MC was missing, as Belphegor immediately sprang into action. He's observant, and together with Satan they searched spots where MC could have been.

But no matter how much he looked, searched, threated, killed, MC was nowhere to be found. The brothers gave up their search one by one, and at last Belphegor was the only one standing.

He nearly threated Diavolo, if not for Beel stopping him.

Why were his brothers giving up? Didn't MC mean anything to them? Countless thoughts ran in his mind until he tried to reach them through the pact, and felt nothing. Empty, harsh silence.

That was all it took for him to kneel and give up. He felt Beel's pain, and the look in his eyes must have been one of despair because then they both were sobbing.

He refused to talk, choosing to sleep his pain away. Only thing was the pain still tormented him. Sometimes he dreamt of Lilith, and sometimes MC. Those nights were the worst.

A part of him dissapeared with MC, and sometimes when he was awake he would slink to their memorial, where Beel would often find him asleep.

The attic becomes the place Belphegor sleeps the most in now, away from pitying glances and his brothers.

DIAVOLO

He was helpless, despite his power and influence. MC just dissapeared, and now they weren't being able to be found.

The Devildom is dangerous, and Diavolo did his best to ensure that it would be safe. But it seems there were cracks in his ship, because the water seeped through.

Lucifer had organised his brothers into a search party, as Diavolo supervised. Barbatos was looking through different realities, every possibility or decision that yielded this outcome.

But the search was futile, and Barbatos bowed to his Lord as he confessed there was nothing he could do. MC's soul was gone, dissapeared from existence.

Diavolo has seen structures fall, empires crumble and blood be shed. Death didn't effect him much. But it does now. His shoulders feel heavy and there's a weight on his heart he can't describe.

It's his helplessness, he can't even do anything, revive them or give them another life, because their soul is gone, just like their physical body.

A memorial was made in honour of MC, with the best luxurious and materials royalty could provide. They had a special place in everyone's heart, and so will they in the palace and the House of Lamentation.

Diavolo visits on nights when he simply can't get MC out of his mind, telling them about a new human game or tradition he discovered, about how the brothers are faring, ignoring the trembling of his own voice.

BARBATOS

The one demon who could control time and choose realities, now helpless against fate. Fate that he once couldn't avoid, and now MC couldn't.

The brothers tore through the Devildom as Diavolo supervised, while he himself tore into timelines, searched through realities where this couldn't have happened.

But no matter what choices were made the outcome was same. Eventually, he had to wrung his hands and admit defeat.

The desperation in Lucifer's eyes was a mirror of his own: despondent.

Lord Diavolo had a memorial made for MC in the castle, and one was at the House of Lamentation. A room hidden by a spell, visible to those who cherished them.

He took special care in dusting each item, treating it with fragility and as if it were sacred, which it was. There was no body to bury, no soul for judgement, only their physical possessions.

Barbatos pretends not to see the Prince wander into MC's memorial late at night, because he does so himself.

Every single item of theirs- a tea cup or even the silly spoon they had given him as a gag gift is treasured, hidden away in remembrance.

SIMEON

He can't even turn towards Father, because their soul simply doesn't exist. Not anymore.

He himself looked for them in the Celestial Realm, like the brothers did in the Devildom. Each district was scrutinised, turned upside down as Simeon searched. But when he turned to Father, he got to know the Truth.

It's a fate worse than death, having your soul wiped from existence. Did they travel through the astral plane and got lost? Did someone hurt them...?

But one thing was clear: they were gone. The determination turned to helplessness when he saw Lucifer's pleading gaze.

Luke was inconsolable, and Solomon could be seen shaking whenever MC's name was mentioned. Countless nights Simeon woke up to screams from Luke's room, when the cherub had nightmares.

He has MC's handkerchief that they dropped one day but never returned to collect. It's preserved with a spell, in a hidden drawer in Simeon's room.

He tried to connect to Lucifer, but the latter has shut himself up in his room, cold and harsh as ever. Even Father failed him now....

There's nothing he can do except pray and hope they found peace, even if tears fall from his eyes as he weeps, even if the ground shakes with the fervency of his prayers, he hopes they found happiness.

SOLOMON

Perhaps this is the pain that an immortal being has to go through, to watch others crumble and fall while he remains to collect the pieces.

Asmodeus's call made him gather his materials as he set off to the Human world to search for MC. Every corner was searched, every aquantince contacted but it was futile.

They were kidnapped...right? They were just kidnapped, their soul was still intact... right? Solomon never thought he would have found himself praying that MC was just kidnapped, but....

He hoped they had been found. He tried calling Asmodeus. But the second he asked about MC the voice on the other side broke into sobs.

That confirmed his suspicions...and Solomon threw the phone as he fell on the ground. What happened to them? Were they dead? Their soul could be revived, right?

But there was no soul remaining to put in a physical body....

He delved through texts and spells, only to sink further into helplessness. He doesn't even know of their fate! He can't even do anything.....

Solomon felt pain through his pact with Asmodeus, and he rushed to where his friend was, only to find him weeping as he begged Solomon to find a way.

There was nothing he could do..

He truly never moved on, creating a memorial for them in a corner of his room, where he come to talk to them about his day, or something he thought they would like. He ignores the tears leaking down his cheek when he realizes they can't even hear him.

[foxzutheone]

i made 2 more goddamn chapter i am a speed writer :)))) https://archiveofourown.org/works/54003538/chapters/136896391

Summary 6: Kieran's perspective on things.

Summary 7: And incident report and additional files on J written by A.

Current word count: 3,712

[pions]

Adrienette

they should be together but no they shouldnt but i want them to spill everything but they cant :(

[pheoflame]

bullseye on my broken heart...

[winchestershiresauce]

WHY AM I SO OBSESSED WITH THIS DESPITE THE ANGST AND OPEN-ENDEDNESS?! or is it because of the angst and open-endedness?!

Your writing kills me in all the best ways 🥺 even for characters I don't care about!!

Could I request 6 & 11 with Javi from the comfort prompts?

Send me a comfort prompt!

Thank you my dear 🫶

*Deténgase, por favor - Pull over, please

Prompts: Bringing them their favorite beverage; Stopping by their workplace on your way home late at night with the hunch that they’re still there

"God, it's late," Connie sighs as the two of you drift out of the bar. "Steve better be home by now."

"Something you need to talk to him about?"

"Not particularly. I'm...Getting tired a little of sleeping alone," She admits with a thin smile. "Sometimes when he is there, it's like I don't even know who he is."

You nod, giving her shoulder a reassuring pat as a taxi pulls up for the two of you. You climb in, leaning back in your seat a little. Hopefully Steve is home. Hopefully, Javier is, too...

But deep-down, you're almost certain that he's not. You eye a liquor store as you drive past it, considering it. You let yourself stew in the thought for a few minutes before—

"Deténgase, por favor," You urge, leaning forward to catch the driver's attention. Connie frowns across the seat as you fish into your bag for your wallet.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I just, um—I need to check on something at the office."

"We can take you there—"

"No, it's alright, I'll get my own. You okay getting home?"

"Yeah," She nods.

"Here," You pass your half of the cab fare over. "I'll see you tomorrow."

You climb out of the cab, shutting the door behind yourself. You second-guess yourself as you buy a bottle of whiskey, then again as you get a cab to the office. The nerves are worse still as you go up in the elevator, and you have to remind yourself that it's better if he's not there. If anything, you'll just put the bottle in his desk where he usually keeps one and get yourself home.

Rounding off of the elevator, you see the lights on, but only one person there. It's a bit of relief—it means that Steve's probably home with Connie. Javier is hunched over his desk, probably eyeing some file or map. You can see smoke curling from a cigarette that's likely either between his fingers or his lips. You knock loudly on the doorframe to draw his attention, not wanting to catch him off-guard.

Javier glances back, then does a double-take at the sight of you, his brow furrowing.

"What are you doing here?" He asks.

"Came to see if you needed help or company."

"How'd you know I'd still be here?"

"Hunch."

Javier nods a touch, gaze dropping from your face. Your skin goes hot as he seems to absently sweep your body before he turns away, clearing his throat.

"I won't be great company tonight."

"That's alright. You're usually not."

"Thanks."

You bite your lip as you watch him shift through a file, seemingly intent on ignoring you.

"...Well," You shift, "Do you at least have time for a drink?"

Javier glances over, eyes steadying on the bag in your hand. He purses his lips, thinking for a moment...And then draws his drawer out, taking out two tumblers. You try not to smile in smug satisfaction as he shuts the door and waves you closer.

"Would you like to do the honors?" You ask, setting the bottle down. Javier casts you a sidelong glance as he takes hold of the bottle.

"Thought you were going out with Connie tonight," He comments.

"I did."

"How is she?"

"Fine...Missing Steve."

"Well, far as I know, he's home, so she shouldn't be missing him much tonight."

You hum thoughtfully as he pours a healthy amount into both glasses, then scoot back to sit on his desk. You try not to overthink the way Javier watches you, instead twisting to turn his file toward you. Your eyes narrow a touch as you scan the information.

"This again?" You ask. "I thought Noonan called it on this op."

"She did. I'm looking for a new angle."

"Hell of a time to do it."

"No better time."

"No? Why's that?"

"I have a meeting with her in the morning."

"And you're planning on going into it in day-old clothing and without shaving?"

"I'll make it home in time."

"Oh really?"

"Sure. Sooner you stop slowin' me down, the faster I'll get home."

Your stomach plummets at the off-handed comment, and the way Javier turns the file back toward himself. Blame it on the late hour, or the drinks you had with Connie, but tears prick in your eyes. You force them back with a couple of blinks, raising your glass and draining it far faster than you should've. It burns on the way down, is still burning as you set your glass down and say, "Guess I'll be going, then."

"Hey, c'mon—"

You see Javier straighten in your periphery as you push yourself off of his desk.

"I didn't mean it like that," He adds.

"Yes you did."

You take the uncapped bottle petulantly, beginning to stride away.

"Wait a minute!"

You pick up your pace as you hear the scrape of Javier's chair, the thud of his feet catching up. You go still as he catches hold of your wrist. He takes a couple more cautious steps forward as he crowds closer. You can feel the heat of his chest against your back, hear the way he draws in the scent of your perfume.

"I didn't mean it like that," He repeats softly, his lips brushing against the shell of your ear. Your fingers tighten around the neck of the bottle.

Maybe he didn't. Maybe he did, and he's just trying to stay in your good graces. Either way, you're more certain than ever that you never should've come. You shove the bottle into his chest, forcing him to let go of you to catch hold of it. You don't bid him goodnight, or tell him that you're certain he's fill of shit. You just stride to the elevator and keep your expression neutral, your gaze averted until the elevator doors close. Once they're shut, you sniffle, slouching back against the elevator wall as you pinch the bridge of your nose.

"Fuck."

[aster-draws]

Not me planning the absolute most heart wrenching plot possible for the semi-finale of Batter Halves almost entirely on accident

Anyways I drew an entire two-page comic for it so where here's a spoiler-free teaser