#and there’s not a lot of quotes that let me include her in some way

[incorrect-upon-a-witchlight]

Gricko: I had to pick up Hootsie early.

Frost: That’s alright. Has she been sick?

Gricko: No, not sick, she’s just very upset because she’s had a hard day.

Frost: Wait, why did she have a hard day?

Gricko: she took her two pet snails to school with her today, and she had the snails in her book bag. She let out the snails by the sink in the back of the classroom for some exercise, and Torbek, who was visiting the class that day, thought they were snails that had come inside from the playground, so he threw Hootsie’s snails out the window.

Frost: Oh my god.

Gricko: I know you are laughing, Frosty, but please act sad about it when we get home today.

Frost: I’ll try but that is hilarious.

Gricko: Yeah, I know. Stupid pet snails.

Gricko: I’m trying not to let Hootsie see me laugh.

[wonder-worker]

I've been thinking about the tragedy of Elizabeth Woodville living to see the end of her family name.

I don't mean her family with her husband, which lived on through her daughter and grandson. I mean her own.

Her sisters died, one by one, many of them after 1485. When Elizabeth died, only Katherine was left, and she would die before the turn of the century as well.

All her brothers died, too. Lewis died in childhood. John was executed. Anthony was murdered. Lionel died suddenly in the peak of Richard's reign, unable to see his niece become queen. Edward perished at war. Richard died in grieving peace. For all the violence and judgement the family endured, it was "an accident of biology" that ended their line: none of the brothers left heirs, and the Woodville name was extinguished. We know the family was aware of this. We know they mourned it, too:

“Buy a bell to be a tenor at Grafton to the bells now there, for a remembrance of the last of my blood.”

Elizabeth lived through the deposition and death of her young sons, and lived to see the end of her own family name. It must have been such a haunting loss, on both sides.

[copperhawks]

The funniest thing to me about Kel, and maybe one of the most interesting because of how understated it is, is that Kel becomes a good commander in the end, not by emulating Wyldon who was cold and implacable and insensitive, or by emulating Raoul who mostly only disobeys orders out of principle or because he has an issue with what the order says about his personal relationship with Jon, but by emulating JON.

Kel doesn't even LIKE Jon, she BARELY respects him as a person. He's a good enough ruler that she's willing to fight for him and swear loyalty to him and to at least mostly believe that he wouldn't work with Blayce to make his own killing monsters, but that's as far as it goes for Kel. If he's kind to her, she finds it uncomfortable and almost untrustworthy because she assumes he doesn't care about her and so his kindness and respect towards her must be fake.

But from the outside, as readers, we know just how much Jon fought for Kel. We know how much he does respect her right to be a knight. Jon is the sole reason that Kel DID get the opportunity to prove herself, if he'd capitulated to Wyldon completely, she just wouldn't have ever been allowed to join. Kel doesn't KNOW THAT, obviously, but we do. We know that Jon did everything he could to find a way to convince Wyldon to let Kel become a page. While Wyldon claims later that the reason he chose to let her stay at the end of the probation year was because his better judgment convinced him she'd earned it, I'd be willing to bet that part of that better judgment also included knowing if he couldn't prove to JON that she needed to go, then he'd be in trouble. Kel was training and working in front of plenty of other trainers and teachers who could easily contradict Wyldon's lies if he'd tried it, many of whom are closer to Jon than they are to Wyldon.

Kel's experiences and feelings about that experience are entirely valid, and she doesn't have the knowledge we do about how hard Jon fought for her, so it's not shocking that she's upset with him for a good portion of her series. She never even discovers this truth by the end of her series, even though she does get a lesson from Jon and Thayet (and Raoul to some degree) about how politics and compromises work in order to make changes happen. So her opinion of him by the end is boiled down to the quote from Squire: "good kings weren't always good men." It makes sense for her to think this, but because Kel's knowledge base is so limited (and her worldview so black and white for much of her series), it makes her an EXTREMELY unreliable narrator about this particular issue.

Kel believes that while Jon generally does his duty and keeps the peace, he doesn't actually care all that much about his people as individuals. But in their only meaningful conversation in Squire, Jon is able to point out that he (and Thayet, who is actually equal to Jon in power, something Kel either doesn't know which would be a failure in her education or just tends to ignore so she can focus her ire on Jon) has to make a LOT of compromises in order to get ANYTHING useful done at all. Sometimes, often, it means making deals with people he doesn't like or people he just fundamentally disagrees with, because it's the first step in a multi-step plan to help more people in the long run. He also points out that just throwing his weight and authority around in order to be able to change everything he wants to change immediately regardless of what anyone else thinks about it is a great way to get himself and his family killed. Because even if he had good intentions, that would be tyranny. It does make Kel think a little, but she doesn't tend to like him much still afterwards, her resentment from her page years will always color her opinion of him a little.

However, then she gets to Haven and she's suddenly tossed into a position of leadership over a lot of other people, many of whom disagree with each other or disagree with her or both. And all of the sudden, Kel has to make compromises. She doesn't LIKE the way the sergeants often treat their men, especially the sergeants whose men are convicts, but there's very very little she can do about it without really pissing off those same sergeants and that's not something she can afford to do. There's a moment when Neal starts getting frustrated about the treatment of the convicts and she takes him out to vent to her so he doesn't vent to the sergeants, something that the sergeants would then take out on their men. Kel's reasoning as she does this is that she "preferred to avoid battles with them now so she would have authority with them later if she needed to use it." Later, Kel is talking to Daine and she says "That's all this job is... Trying to please everyone and pleasing no one. And it will only get worse, not better."

Both of these moments showcase Kel choosing to make compromises. She may not like the way the sergeants treat the convicts, but she needs to stay on the sergeants' good sides because she doesn't have enough resources to butt heads with them nor enough authority to just force the issue, and even if she DID, it could cause the sergeants to become troublesome or take out their frustration with her on the men in ways she can't see as well. But staying on the sergeants' good sides might mean letting some of their maltreatment slide if it's not physically harming the convicts. And even setting that aside, she's dealing with nearly 500 refugees eventually, all of which are from different towns in the area and have different needs, not all of which she can accommodate. This requires compromise. Sometimes she can please some of them and not others, but mostly she probably just ends up not pleasing anybody because that's often how compromises WORK.

She never makes the active connection to Jon and his lesson on leadership from Squire while she's in Haven, but that quote up there about how this job (aka being a commander) is all about trying to please everyone and pleasing no one? It sounds a HECK of a lot like "good kings weren't always good men." You can try your best to help others, but often doing the right thing can involve making everyone unhappy. You can't be everybody's friend if you're going to get anything done.

Some of this she might've learned from Raoul's style of command, but Raoul commands a fairly small amount of people (at least in comparison to a King), and so we see him able to be pretty friendly to the people he commands in a way that Jon is perhaps unable to do. And she might believe that she learned some of this from Wyldon, but Wyldon had a tendency to be very unfair and biased due to his raging bigotry and conservative values, as well as the fact that he doesn't actually even LIKE being a training master and that likely impacted the way he treated the pages (he's almost never that kind to the pages, whereas we see him capable of being quite kind with the refugees later, which is where Kel comes to the conclusion that he hadn't enjoyed being a training master).

But Jon makes an entire speech about how he (and Thayet) have been working THEIR ENTIRE REIGN to change laws that help people. He explains how they have to consider the needs of merchants, nobles, farmers, street people, priests/priestesses, and mages. They have to consider not only what these people might need or want, but also what they could do when they feel sufficiently offended and how that could impact not just the royal family or the nobility but the realm as a whole. Jon points out that they HAVE made changes, for the better, and that just because they don't always succeed at everything or because they have to compromise sometimes, doesn't mean they aren't working at making changes or that they don't care about helping people. Not everyone you have power over is going to be your friend, they might not even be someone you like. But if you're going to take on the job of leadership, that's something you have to be willing to accept and work with, which often means making compromises with people whose needs and values are contradictory to your own.

Jon probably knows when he makes the compromise with Wyldon that it will likely impact a lot of people's good opinion of him. Alanna is right there and clearly angry, and we know Thayet doesn't like the decision, either. And it's entirely possible that Jon knows in the moment that Kel herself will put the blame on him because he's the King. But he also knows that if he insists on Kel being allowed to be a page without trying to compromise with Wyldon, Wyldon will quit over it and he'll end up with ten DIFFERENT problems that could cause a lot bigger issues to far more people than just one girl. So he makes the compromise. He sacrifices Alanna and Thayet and even Kel's good opinion of him in order to ensure that Kel gets the opportunity to become a Knight without turning all of his nobles against him which could ultimately lead to a civil war. Is it fair? No, and he knows it. But it's the best option he has in order to get the outcome they all actually want which is just for Kel to have the chance to prove herself.

Kel has to make similar choices once she's finally in a position of leadership of her own. And whether she realizes it or not, without ever even spending more than a few minutes with Jon, she ends up emulating his leadership style more than anybody else's because it WORKS and it works WELL. She'll probably never admit it, she might never even realize it herself, but she's so much more like Jon than any of the other men she sees as role models. And I love that. I love the dramatic irony of that, that the one person Kel only barely respects because of a compromise he made on her behalf that she'll never even know about, is the person Kel ends up most resembling. Jon is the reason she has the opportunity to become the Protector of the Small in the first place, Jon is the person who created that environment that allowed her to nurture those values, and she'll probably never even really be able to acknowledge that, because sometimes that's what being a good leader means.

[ambiguouspuzuma]

The single most important piece of writing advice I would give to a lot of amateur writers is to write less beautifully - or at least to write beautifully less.

I rarely find a piece of writing I can't read because it's too simple, or too concise and to-the-point - not memorable, perhaps, but also not a headache on a page. On the other hand, I see loads of pieces which are effectively unreadable because they're far too rich to swallow, and badly in need of watering down a bit.

The absolute worst culprit is the dialogue tags and stage directions. I'm a big fan of letting people write in their own style, but I would love it if a lot of writers could please cool it with letting me know every time a character blinks or licks their lips. I don't need to know that, especially if it happens every time they speak.

So many dialogue excerpts look like this:

"So this is how we talk?" he queried quietly, his eyebrows furrowed into knots. "Apparently," she replied with a puzzled grin, bouncing on the balls of her feet with restless energy. "Isn't that... exhausting?" he questioned, a lop-sided smile snaking its way across his lips. "The bouncing?" she asked shyly, her eyelids fluttering in shame. "No, of course not," he told her, his lean arms reached out to pull her closer. He buried his face into the mess of her hair, taking a deep breath of her perfume. "I just feel a little nauseated by all of these actions." "I don't know what you mean," she giggled, brushing the hair back out of her eyes as her cheeks flushed red. "Don't worry," he sighed, rolling his eyes up towards the ceiling.

I'm assuming this is a convention that comes from somewhere, given its ubiquity - perhaps somewhere in the world of fanfiction, where there will be short, intimate pieces entirely focused on the ways in which characters interact with each other. But to me, in an original work, it's so exhausting that I can't make it down the rest of the page.

Dialogue may be the worst, or most obvious offender, but the same principle extends pretty much everywhere else. Each line doesn't have to be some great quote you can hang on your wall, and it's hard to read a whole story written like that.

There's been some recent backlash on here against modern films where every line of dialogue is a quip, at the expense of building an authentic conversation, but that's how a lot of people start out writing - thinking that each sentence should be made as flowery as possible, when too many flowers in the same pot will crowd each other out.

You need to leave some gaps to let the sunlight in, and illuminate the beauty of the occasional flourish you do include. Think of it like vanilla extract, to make a reference that was topical when I started writing this post: you need to add a little for flavour, without which the writing will be too dull, but tip the bottle and I will actually be sick. Write beautifully less. Learn to embrace the prosaic.

[bengals-barnesbabe]

“Thank You TikTok” Masterlist

~ a series of text imagines between you and Joe all inspired by random TikTok videos ~

Started: 12 September 2024

Last Updated: 21 November 2024

˖⁺‧₊˚ ˚₊‧⁺˖✮✮˖⁺‧₊˚ ˚₊‧⁺˖

fluff - 🌞 smut - 🌚 mix - 🌗 angst - ☄️

most popular - 🌙 newest - ⚡️ request - 💫

i. booktok ~ ever since he downloaded TikTok, Joe’s learnt a lot more about his beautiful bookworm 🌗

ii. say high ~ Joe takes part in some recreational activities and tries (and fails) to hide it from those who know him the best 🌗💫

iii. the real afterparty ~ y/n comes across a TikTok of a bride and groom doing a wardrobe change together, so naturally, she asks her fiance his opinion 🌚

iv. happy weight ~ nothing says a great relationship like two people falling in love while getting fat together, well that’s what TikTok says 🌖

v. pay attention ~ cons to working with your man... he's you're a distraction 🌞

vi. come home ~ it’s been a while since you’ve seen your man, so you left him a present🌒

vii. how that shit tastes ~ they say it's a man's drink so you've never tried it, so you ask your man about his drink of choice 🌗

viii. you like that ~ inspired by another TikTok, Joe compiles a list of things he likes about you🌖

ix. babies ~ you tell your husband about your daughter's supermarket antics, and he gets baby fever? 🌖

x. heroes & princes ~ everyone makes mistakes, even great boyfriends but especially if he has Tee and Ja’Marr as friends 🌞

xi. roses ~ you have a new favorite song and a certain TikTok gives you an idea on how to introduce it to your man 🌚

xii. you're enough ~ you and Joe feel losses hard, so you try your best to make him feel better after this one 🌖

xiii. i can fix her ~ you end up on Joe's fyp for the worst reason possible ☄️

xiv. im a fan ~ Joe finds your secret TikTok account in the best way possible 🌖

xv. it's just a trend ~ you participate in a certain dance trend with a song Joe does not like ☄️ 🌖

xvi. hey shawty ~ you watched a TikTok on how to domesticate your boyfriend, let's see how he does ☄️🌞

xvii. treat me ~ despite always receiving royalty treatment from your boyfriend, you decide to tease him with one of your favorite songs🌚

xviii. ruined me ~ Joe ruined you for all men, this is how he reacts when you tell him 🌗

xix. hey daddy ~ in order to keep your relationship fresh, you do what all couples do... send each other ridiculous pick up lines 🌘

xx. boyfriend blindness ~ your boyfriend becomes a comedian, so you have to show him who he's playing with 🌖

xxi. mini gossip girl ~ your daughter comes home and spills everything about her dad's life 🌞

xxii. daddy duties ~ Joe's left alone for more than a few hours with his boys and chaos ensues 🌞

xxiii. mini gossip girl 2 ~ your daughter is at it again, but this time it works out in Joe's favor🌖

xxiv. talkin nonsense ~ relationships should be fun, especially when you both are on the same level 🌘

xxv. speechless ~ 11.25 🌖

xxvi. mini gossip girl 3 ~ 11.27 🌖

xxvii. just friends ~ 11.30 🌗

updates about twice a week🪷

requests to join this series are open! just send me a quote or link to a video and your fav pic of Joe (along with anything else you desire) to be included!

[calliesmemes]

EVEN MORE ABSOLUTELY UNHINGED COMEDIC RELIEF

ASSORTED SENTENCE STARTERS FROM AROUND THE INTERNET, including quotes from Tumblr, Pinterest, TikTok, and X (formerly known as Twitter), for when a muse wants to lighten up the situation at hand.

CHANGE gendered words and in-universe phrases as needed.

SPECIFY muse for multimuses.

“   It’s sea shanty time once again my fellow bastards of the ocean! ”

“   Partner, I reckon that I ain’t been feeling very yeehaw lately. ”

“   I don’t study; I consult the lore. ”

“   Yeah, I understand women — they all want daggers and swords. It’s all quite simple, really. ”

“   Lord forgive me but I may have to make a nonessential purchase. ”

“   Those are bold words for someone in stabbing range. ”

“   Yes I’m a gatekeeper and a hater. I’m also God’s most favorite princess and the most interesting girl in the world. ”

“   My primary motivations are fear, spite, and aesthetic longing. ”

“   Man — if I had a sword, I wouldn’t be worried about shit. ”

“   It’s not blood that runs through these veins but glitter gel pen ink. ”

“   If I was in a Jane Austen novel, I would be the one sent to the seaside for my health. ”

“   Half of me is a hopeless romantic, and the other half of me is … well … an asshole. ”

“   I am the nicest, sweetest, most rage-filled person I know. ”

“   I hope I give off the vibe to all animals that I am their ally and their friend. ”

“   I see you’re paying attention to someone who is not me. Why is that? ”

“   Normalize letting me talk without making any sense. ”

“   Don’t care, didn’t ask, plus my psychic visions have predicted the outcome of this encounter. ”

“   I could be so much worse. For example, I could start acting like my father. ”

“   Sorry for acting so strange and irregular; It will happen again. ”

“   i love sitting in my room.....alone....a girl in her cave....scheming and plotting and drinking tea. ”

“   These man made horrors are beyond YOUR comprehension. I get it though. ”

“   I’m a goth girl on the inside. On the outside? A father figure. ”

“   I don’t need to face reality; I’m not just that type of girl. ”

“   DO I LOOK LIKE I GIVE A frickle-frackle? ”

“   I’m about to cha cha real smooth off a fucking cliff. ”

“   Sorry I told you about my trauma. Do you still think I’m hot? ”

“   My priorities aren’t straight and neither am I. ”

“   I have felt permanently guilty for no reason since I was like eight years old. ”

“   Of course I have a lot of pent up rage, you fool! I’ve been the same height since I was twelve years old! ”

“   I was born for shock value. ”

“   Good morning! God has let me live another day and I’m about to make it everyone’s problem. ”

“   Oh, I slept miserably because I was tormented by terrible visions all night. I hope none of them were prophetic! ”

“   Be the surreal nonsense that you want to see in the world. ”

“   Being smart has never stopped me from being a complete fucking idiot. ”

“   My hobbies include knowing things and being right. ”

“   This is good advice, but don’t tell me what to do. ”

“   I hate the idea of authority. What the fuck is someone being superior to me? Bitch I’m gonna take your kneecaps. ”

“   Stop forgiving my crimes! I worked so hard on those! ”

“   My hobbies? Uhhhh, symbolism mostly. Metaphors and implications and the like. ”

“   I may not have any braincells, but I make up for it by having many heart cells. ”

“   I can’t mansplain manipulate manwhore my way out of this one guys! ”

“   Not all your life decisions have to be smart. Some can be purely for cinematic value. ”

“   Sometimes I wish I looked more fragile and feminine like a dainty flower, but I do enjoy looking like I hate everyone. ”

“   Any dream can be a prophetic dream if you’re willing to do some really weird shit. ”

“   girl help there is not enough enrichment in my enclosure. ”

“   BRO, you NEED to stop SUMMONING DEMONS in the FRAT HOUSE. ”

“   I just gave your address to some spiders! ”

“   I disappoint my father as a hobby now. ”

“   I think that the dark circles under my eyes add to my aesthetic actually. ”

“   Good news! I’ve successfully replaced all of my emotions with jokes! ”

“   I have half a braincell left and I’m very scared to use it! ”

“   Listen, son — in this world, it’s either yeet or be yeeted. ”

“   I appreciate the advice, but I think that I’m old enough to make my own bad decisions. ”

“   I’m disappointed in me too. Y’all aren’t special. ”

“   Running from your demons is the best exercise! ”

“   Sorry; I can’t commit any crimes with you. My mom says that I have to study. ”

“   Time flies when you don’t know what the fuck is going on. ”

“   If I run out of tacos, I can no longer maintain my human form. ”

“   Bestie, I don’t think that I can girlboss under these conditions. ”

“   Yeah I’ve had combat training; I can do anxiety attacks! ”

“   Swag is earned, not learned. ”

“   Contrary to popular belief, violence solves a lot. ”

“   I CANNOT STAND YOU ALL so I will SIT DOWN. ”

“   Please God no … I don’t need any more character development right now! ”

“   If you can’t beat ‘em, yeet ‘em. ”

“   Do not put me in a situation. I’m at my limit and I am very tired. ”

“   I may be depressed, but at least I’m not basic. ”

“   It’s MY LIFE and I’ll sabotage it myself, thank you. ”

“   Think twice? Bold of you to assume that I think once. ”

“   At the next inconvenience, I will start biting people. ”

“   Oops I think that I just experienced an emotion. ”

“   Did you know that rats spelled backwards is star? ”

“   One day, I’ll be reincarnated as a pigeon, and I’ll shit on your head. ”

“   On the outside, I’m a baddie — but on the inside, I’m a saddie. ”

“   My grandma bullies me through the Ouija board. ”

“   I’m a cool person if you can just look past my personality. ”

“   Beetles don’t have to do taxes, and I think that is a beautiful way to live. ”

“   I hope that you get your character development arc soon. ”

“   Those are some nice kneecaps … It’d be a shame if someone stole them … ”

“   I’ve wanted to be a trophy wife ever since I was a little boy. ”

“   I’m done being baby; I want POWER ”

“   Wait, “Just Standing There Ominously” doesn’t count as socializing? ”

“   Yes I am smart, and yes, I am stupid. It’s called being flexible. ”

“   I am NOT delusional!!!!! I am OPTIMISTIC! ”

“   I deserve compensation for not being the menace to society that i could be, like i'm skipping out on a lot of fun here. ”

“   Do not ask me if you should or shouldn't do something !!! Before I am a friend I am an enabler !!! ”

“   i am the WORLDS PRETTYIST PINK PRINCESS and im gonna KILL YOU WITH MY HUGE FUCKING HAMMER ”

[fluffypotatey]

things i noted on my 2nd watch of Twisters (2024)

where each song from the soundtrack plays (idk how many times i listened to it but y’all there was hell or high water playing at the diner when Javi was talking to Riggs and i felt like my third eye opened lmaooooo)

Dexter nerding out over everything (noticed this before but like 🥰🤧 this old man has my heart y’all 🥺 do you see how excited he gets mapping out the terrain and remembering which tornado effect is which???? yeah sure he probably never went to university or finished high school but you can see his love for learning and education and i bet he read every book in every library he visits)

white shirt OT3 o7 (Kate begins the white shirt effect and then it switches to Tyler and switches back to Kate then switches to Javi which switches to Tyler at the end. now, you could argue that Javi begins the white shirt effect bc Storm Par includes white shirts in their uniforms but NO! because they’re polos AND Javi wears the blue and black uniform. so truly the real argument would be Scott wore it but he’s separate from the OT3 and is meant to draw Javi away unlike Kate and Tyler and in this essay—)

Boone not answering Tyler calls (like, last time i did see when Tyler was asking Boone for forgiveness when he chased a tornado with Kate instead of Boone but the fact that Tyler only called Lily because Boone wasn’t answering just adds to that lmao)

Tyler being all shy and sweet with Kate (yeah i saw it before last time but like 🥺 he’s such a sweetie with his little crush and little smile and trying to act all cool asking for her opinion about where the twister is like 🤧🤧 adorable)

Lily teasing and being a great wingman (calling out his red face and handing Kate the food. and ok, yeah, sure, it’s a lot more likely that she didn’t see Kate and Tyler have a mini argument where Kate assumes the worst of them, but i like to think she saw how it ended and decided to clear the air her own way)

Benjamin Shopshire III (100% laughed when i read that name, i’m so sorry Ben lmao)

Mrs Carter’s narrative similarities to Aunt Meg (bbq & steak and eggs; team loving protag’s relative; not taking protag’s bs)

dead bf’s name is Jeb not Jeff (pretty sure that’s short for something but i have never heard of a Jeb before)

Tyler complimenting Javi’s radar (solely for OT3 purposes)

“Storm Par” & “Owens” (very much the when a name begins toned derogatory but ends the story affectionate)

they never specify which branch of the military Javi’s from (…….it’s free real estate)

Never Left Me plays when Javi and Kate are driving into Oklahoma (very much seals the “there was a time i’d do anything for you” quote)

but yeah there’s some. imma be letting it all soak in my brain while i rot ✌️

[factcheckingmclennon]

cynthia's take on john & paul: fact or fiction?

"John never looked at anyone the way he looked at Paul."

-cynthia lennon

this quote gets passed around a lot. a Lot a lot. it's in compilations, it's on twitter, it's in youtube comments...

did cynthia really say john never looked at anyone like he looked at paul?

from everything i can find?

this one comes in from an anon! and a few people talking about this quote when i brought up the idea of making this blog/brought up the amount of unsourced things in this fandom

well, anon, i found the origin of the quote- at least this iteration of it. i came to a bit of a dead end that i'm not sure is a dead end, but i'll share what i found!

disclaimer: these all come from tumblr posts around 2014. this is old enough that i'm willing to link & name the users involved but if you know them or are them & would like any urls/names taken down, let me know! for now, it's staying up for the sake of answering the question "where it originated from"

so the original post that this all seems to circulate from comes from a tumblr post on january of 2014 (source)

the rest of the post is mostly speculation from the op about john being bisexual with some other quotes in there (some real, some i'm unsure on as i've never deep dived on them)

a few months later, they were asked about the source of the quote bc people were evidently already coming up blank

buffysommers-blog: That quote you site from Cynthia Lennon, "John never looked at anyone the way he looked at Paul." Where is that quote from? I've seen that quote repeated often but I've never once seen a source for the quote (was it from one of Cyn's books? an interview? with which publication) so I'm not yet convinced she actually said that. theforgottenmadcap: Hi, if I remember rightly I read it on here, I think it may be from an interview with her, as I've got both John and A Twist of Lennon and don't remember it from either of those.

(source)

however, this is where i ran into a road block. given that the op thinks it might be from an interview, i spent a good few hours listening to rare cynthia lennon interviews that haven't been transcribed on double speed. nothing there (although there were some pretty interesting quotes in them- including her calling them twins lol). and this exact wording isn't found in any of her interviews that Have been transcribed, as far as i can tell.

so there's a few options here. 1) this is completely made up & this answer was just a handwavey copout (not the answer i'd like to believe & not one i think is most likely honestly bc generally i don't think people have bad intentions) 2) they did indeed see it somewhere else on tumblr & that blog is the true origin of this quote for whatever reasons. i just can't find anything older or 3) it is in fact from a cynthia interview, just not worded exactly like this since it seems theforgottenmadcap wasn't directly copy-pasting and was just quoting a quote they saw around from memory.

if anyone winds up finding anything older or a cynthia interview with some similar statement, do let me know! or something older with similar wording.

but for now, putting this on the "fake" shelf

[thewritingrowlet]

The Guardian Angel, ft. ICHILLIN' Joonie

tags: cum-in-mouth, deepthroat, quickie, creampie (both type), anal, rough, daddy kink

word count: 8k+

warning: mention of firearms and depiction of use of firearms; reader discretion is advised.

author's note: I saw this picture of Joonie holding a toy gun and said "fuck it", so here we are. I wanted to get this fic out ASAP so that I could start working on The Outing Trip 3 and the ideas that are currently sitting in my inbox. Joonie is referred to as Junhee in this fic, btw.

-

“Excuse me, Mr. Director”, Mr. Kang, your chauffeur, calls out to you, waking you up from your peaceful nap, “we have arrived, sir”. “Hngh? We have?”, you say, rubbing your eyes to speed up the process, “can I ask what time this is?”. Mr. Kang looks at his watch, “it is 8:09 pm, sir”. You look outside the window of the car and see that it is dark out there. “Any news about the Guardian Angel, Mr. Kang?”, you ask. “The Angel is in position, sir. I was asked by the Angel to tell you to mind where you stand and not break line of sight—I’d also like to remind you that I’m keeping an eye on you as well, Mr. Director”, Mr. Kang explains as he shows you the gun on his hip. “Thank you, Mr. Kang. Be safe, okay? We can’t afford to lose you. I’ll see you in less than an hour”, you say to him before putting on an earpiece and getting out of the car.

“In case you forgot how you’ve ended up in this situation, let’s do a quick recap”, your brain says before starting. “You, Han Jinwoo, are the founder and director of a handful of companies, one of them being a nickel mining company that mainly operates in a developing country that is known for its messy politics. Over the past few years, you’ve been receiving extreme threats and defamations from people all over the world, including your own countrymen, for, and I quote: ‘destroying both the environment and the people of the country by ways of exploitation for capitalistic greed'. Those threats have led you to getting armored cars and extra security to keep an eye on you in public”. “Thank you for reminding me, brain; that was super helpful”, you say to yourself.

So here you are, standing in front of an empty lot that you’ve bought for an ungodly amount of money. You’re planning to build a new office building so that you can house 2 of your smaller companies here because the rent on the current building is getting ridiculous, and you’re here to meet some architects and engineers to talk about the construction.

Before you get closer to the construction site, you want to make sure that the Angel has eyes on you. You turn around and scan the buildings across the street, hoping that you’ll see the Angel. “Looking for me, director?”, you hear the Guardian Angel say in a calm but serious tone from your earpiece, “you don’t have a sniper scope like I do; you’re not seeing shit, love”. You bring your wrist closer to your mouth and speak softly into the mic, “don’t let me die, okay? I love you”. You don’t hear a reply, but you see flashing lights that spell out “ILY” in morse code. That’s your Guardian Angel, Park Junhee, a spec-ops-turned-private-military who also happens to be your beloved fiancé.

You turn towards the construction site and see some people with hard hats talking among themselves while seemingly waiting for you. “Good evening, ladies and gents. I apologize for being late”, you greet them. “Not at all, Mr. Director. I’d say you’re perfectly on time”, Mrs. Hwang, an architect, says as she shakes your hand. “Can I have a recap of our progress, Mrs. Hwang?”, you ask her. She shows you the site plan and some blueprints and explain to you that they’re planning to build the first 4 floors as soon as the materials arrive and aiming to finish it in 40 days. “Sir, I regret to inform you that the steel beams have been in transport longer than they should’ve been, thus slowing down the progress”, she says, “we have also been seeing protestors gathering here and harassing workers, sir. If I may, Mr. Director, I suggest having security here”. She is correct; while you may not have the cleanest hands and be the kindest businessman around, you certainly don’t want the innocent workers to be harassed or potentially be put in danger. “I’ll contact Nighthaven and see if they can help. Thank you, Mrs. Hwang—anyone else?”, you say.

An engineer asks for your attention, so you turn to him and listen to him. You’re deep into his speech when you hear Junhee warn you, “sir, there’s a man holding a knife running towards your position. Permission to engage, sir.”. “Don’t kill him!”, you yell out, and the people around you look at you in confusion. “Engaging”, Junhee calmly says, and you immediately hear a scream of pain from behind. You and everyone else walk towards the source of the scream and see that there’s a man lying on the ground with a butcher’s knife next to him. To your surprise, the man pulls out a gun and aims it at you, but instead of dying, you hear the man scream again; Junhee has shot him in the arm, forcing him to drop his gun. “Nonlethal, sir, as you asked. Wrap this up quick, please”, Junhee says, and you can hear the worry in her voice.

“I can’t risk losing you, ladies and gents. We’ll meet again at my office tomorrow morning, okay? Scatter, please, and be safe”, you tell Mrs. Hwang and company. Mr. Kang jumps out of the car and opens the door for you, “Mr. Director, get in, please”. “Mr. Kang, call an ambulance and make sure the man gets help, okay?”, you say as you get in the car. Mr. Kang calls his contact as he’s driving to make sure the man can be attended to with no questions asked. “We’re done, Angel—see you at home”, you say to Junhee over the mic. “Yes, sir”, she says.

-

“I’m home”, you say as you open the door and enter the house. You see that Junhee is pacing back and forth nervously while waiting for you. “There you are”, she says, “are you okay, love?”. “Yes, I am. Thank you for covering me, baby; I would’ve died otherwise”, you tell her before coming in for a hug. “You’re much more than a client to me, love”, she says, her voice shaking from the emotions. “I know, baby. I’m still alive because of you, you know that right?”, you say. Junhee was a spec ops personnel and all that, but considering that you’re her fiancé, she feels way more attached to you. “Please don’t die, love. I don’t know what I would do without you”, she says as her eyes turn to a waterfall. “I’m here for you and will continue to be, love. You’re there for me as well, aren’t you, my Guardian Angel?”, you say. “Why did you ask for non-lethal, though? I-I had perfect line of sight, love”, she asks. “We’ve caught enough flaks, baby; we don’t need more”, you say, pressing your lips on her head. “But you could’ve died!”, she screams, “please don’t die, I’m begging you”.

You let Junhee cry to her heart’s content in your arms for a few minutes while offering words of comfort and assuring her that you’re fine. Junhee breaks the hug and tells you to take off your clothes; “I need to make sure you’re not hurt—not even a scratch”, she says. You do as she says and start by taking off your shirt and trousers, revealing the bulletproof vest underneath; “thank you for listening to me and wearing a vest”, she comments with a smile, “continue, please—wait, actually”. She cuts herself off and runs towards the bedroom, leaving you with only a bulletproof vest and boxers on.

She walks out of the bedroom while singing Happy Birthday and holding a cake, and only now do you remember that it is your birthday. “Did you actually forget that today is your birthday, love?”, she asks. “Time flies, love. I was so occupied with work”, you admit. Junhee tells you to make a wish, so you close your eyes and pray for your and Junhee’s safety and prosperity before blowing the candles. “Hurray, happy birthday, love!”, she excitedly says. “Are we eating that, or?”, you ask. “Later”, she says, putting the cake on the dining table. Junhee begins taking off her Agent 47-esque attire and vest and throwing them to the side before approaching you and helping you take off yours.

She pulls you towards the sofa and tells you to sit down, “I want to suck your cock”. Junhee likes sucking your cock to celebrate both your and her birthdays, so this is nothing new or odd to you. Junhee pulls down your boxers and immediately take you in her mouth. “Oh, so good, baby”, you moan, “always so good to me”. Junhee gives you a wink and go down on your cock until her nose touches your pelvis, making her gag slightly in the process. You throw your head back and pet Junhee’s head as you bask in the sensation of her wet mouth and the sounds she’s making.

You feel your cock twitch in her mouth, and you know Junhee feels it too, proven by how she bobs her head faster on your shaft. “Ah, I’m about to cum, love”, you announce to her. Junhee moves up and leave only your tip in her mouth, ready to accept your cum. With a groan, you finally blow your load and flood her mouth with it. Junhee yelps a little bit when your cum hits her throat when she wasn’t ready, but keeps her lips tight around your cock. She closes her lips after pulling away from your cock before swallowing your cum. “Tasty as usual. Thank you, love”. You shake your head weakly, “no, thank you, love”.

Junhee helps you put your boxers on again before sitting next to you on the sofa. “Love, I want to buy firearms tomorrow”, she says. “Plural, baby?”, you ask her. “I want to sell my handgun, get a new handgun and rifle, and buy some ammo for them”, she explains, “you want to come along? We can practice shooting after”. You rub your chin and think about tomorrow’s agenda, “I have a meeting with the people from earlier so you’ll need to be with me first and then I’ll come with you—can I come with you, though? I’d hate to find out that the gun shop people hate me while I’m there with you”. Junhee laughs at you, “so what? C’mon, love, come with me, please”.

-

“Good morning, everyone. I apologize for ending the meeting abruptly last night”, you say as you enter the meeting room and see that everyone has come to the meeting, “is everyone okay, by the way?”. Mrs. Hwang answers for the group, “we’re okay, director. With respect, it was you that he wanted, not us”. “That is correct, Mrs. Hwang. Let’s start now, okay?”, you say as you press the button to roll down the blinds. Obviously, they notice Junhee’s presence in the room as she sticks out like sore pretty thumb, but no one dares ask you about her and jump straight to the conversation.

Since you have let the architects come up with the design, the engineers have little trouble following it since nothing is out of the ordinary or defying the laws of physics. Instead, they offer you ways to shave off some expense by “making the construction process less redundant”. You have no idea what this man is talking about, but since he assures you that it won’t compromise with the building’s quality and strength, you decide to agree. “We have received news saying that the steel beams I mentioned last night will arrive in 2 days, director”, Mrs. Hwang says. “Understood, Mrs. Hwang; please make sure we can continue the construction soon”, you say to her with a nod.

The meeting ends after about 40-something minutes, and everyone leaves together as a group, filing one by one out the door. Junhee drops the cold front and approaches you for a kiss. She takes your hands and put them on her tits, encouraging you to play with them. “Your tits are so soft, baby. Are you sure you’re wearing a bra?”, you comment as you juggle and squeeze them. “I’m wearing your favorite sports bra but no vests”, she says, “love, I’m wet; touch me, please”. You press a button to lock the doors and take off your trousers and boxers, “come to me, baby”.

Junhee pulls her trousers and panties down to give your cock access to her pussy. She jumps into your lap and immediately impale herself on your erect cock, letting out a soft moan in the process. “You-you’re filling me up so well, love—ah, hngh”, she says with heavy breaths. You want to cum so bad, so you thrust up and meet her in the middle, “Fuck, I want to cum for you, baby”. Junhee’s heart is palpitating like crazy, “ah-ah-ah—yes-yes, cum for your fiancé, love—ah, fuck—I’m so close, love”.

You keep thrusting up while Junhee keeps going down as the both of you are chasing your own orgasms. “Love, love—oh, please”, Junhee calls out to you, “I’M CUMMING!”. The way her pussy is squeezing your cock forces you to blow at the same time, and nothing beats the feeling of cumming together with your fiancé. Junhee leans forward for a hug, and the two of you stay silent while catching your breaths. “The—hah, God—the cum will drip down if you stand up”, you say to her. Junhee tells you to lay her on the table and get ready to scoop up the leak. Thankfully the leak isn’t too crazy, and she licks it off your hand. “That’s one pew-pew down, wanna move on to the next?”, you ask her. “Ye-yeah, help me put on my pants, please”.

-

 Mr. Kang drops you off in front of the gun shop, and Junhee leads you into it. “Good afternoon!”, Junhee says to the staffs. “Good afternoon to you as well, Miss Park. Can I help you?”, a female staff says. “Yeah, I’m looking to trade this in for a G43X MOS”, she pulls out her handgun and unloads it before putting it on the counter. The staff picks it up and inspects it, “G19, hey? Anything else?”. “No, that’s it—oh, some 9mm ammo, please”, she says. The staff then leaves you two alone and do whatever he needs to for the trade-in. “I thought you were buying a rifle?”, you ask. Junhee shakes her head, “on second thought, I don’t think I need a new one now. The one we have now still works well—you saw it last night”. You have little clue about firearms, but Junhee knows her stuff, so you trust her judgment on the matter.

The staff comes back outside and invites you two to the range to test her new handgun. The staff hands each of you some headset and safety glasses and asks you to put them on. Junhee then hands the gun to you and asks you to load it yourself, “do not put your finger on the trigger unless you’re ready to shoot—you don’t want to kill us, do you?”. You shake your head and take the gun from her hands. “Aim at that target, love”, she says. You’ve shot a gun before (under Junhee’s supervision, obviously), so you know how to unlock the safety switch and get ready to shoot. “I’m ready”, you say to her. “I know they’ve fired this gun multiple times during production to test it, but technically it’s a virgin; take her cherry like you did mine, love”, she says as she steps away from you.

You steady your aim and start firing one bullet at a time until you’ve shot all 10 of them. “Not bad”, Junhee comments, “you missed one, love—that might hit a bystander, you know?”. You apologize for missing, but she rejects it, “you can apologize by getting better, okay? You need to be able to handle a gun well in case I’m not there to protect you. Come, let’s get out of here”.

Junhee leads you to the front and pays for her new pistol and a box of 9mm ammo. “Sorry for being pushy, but is he your client, Miss Park?”, the staff asks. Junhee looks at you and chuckles, “yeah, something like that. Alright, we’re leaving. See you soon!”. You open and hold the door for your fiancé, earning a cute smile from her; “who would’ve thought a girl this cute was spec ops? Looks can really fool you, huh?”, you think to yourself.

“Love, can we go home, or do you need to go back to the office?”, she asks. “We can go home, yeah. We need to talk”, you say, keeping things vague for Junhee. “Oh, um, okay, love”, she says nervously. She tries asking you what you want to talk about, but you wave her off and tell her that she’ll know soon enough. “Excuse me, sir”, Mr. Kang says, “the news of Miss Park’s work last night has broken out. Personally, I would like to commend her for not killing him”. “It was my fiancé’s wish to shoot him in the leg, Mr. Kang; I was just following orders”, Junhee says. “That is good thinking, sir; the public might dislike you, but not killing him will make you look not as bad”, Mr. Kang says. “What do you think if I pay for his medical expenses?”, you ask your fiancé. “Yeah, I guess we can do that. I’ll call someone and have them take care of it”, she says.

-

“So, what is it you wanted to talk about? I’m not in trouble, am I? Please say no, oppa”, Junhee asks as you enter the bedroom with her. Junhee stopped calling you oppa after you two got engaged and nowadays she usually calls you that when she wants something. You laugh at her as you hold her hands, “no, you’re not in trouble, baby; I just wanted to say that I’ve booked a restaurant this weekend for our anniversary”. Junhee falls forward limply into your arms, “aaaah, you scared meeeee—I thought you were going to scold me or something, aaaaah”. “Ahaha no, of course not. Can I ask you to wear a dress, though?”, you say to her. Junhee huffs: she doesn’t like wearing a dress because she can’t keep her gun on her hip, “ugh, fine—please keep in mind that I’m only doing it for you”. You put on a confused face, “if not for me, then who are you dressing up for?”. “Nobody, oppa, I promise”, she says in a low voice, “if it was up to me, I’d not wear anything when I’m with you and just let you do whatever to me”. “One day, baby, okay?”, you peck her forehead.

“Baby, aren’t you hungry? Want to ask the cook to make you something?”, you ask your fiancé. “I’m hungry for your cum”, she says with a naughty smirk, “but honestly, I am. Can we have fettucine, love?”. You ask her to sit on the bed while you call the cook, “good evening, Miss Ahn. Can we have two fettucine alfredo, please?”. You hang up the phone after getting an answer, “she’s making us some right now. Do you want to do anything while we wait?”. Junhee moves to the center of the bed and rests her head on a pillow, “cuddle, please”.

You join her in bed and Junhee rests her head on your shoulder, the rest of her body hugging you from the side. “I love you”, she says. “I love you too, baby”, you answer. “No, no, you must’ve not heard me; I love you”, she repeats with a pout. “I love you more, baby”, you correct yourself. “There you go—wasn’t so hard, was it?”, she pecks you on the cheek after. You hear Junhee yawn, so you pat her on the back softly and encourage her to get a quick shuteye. She’s private military and all that, but deep inside, she’s just a girl who wants to love and be loved—Junhee doesn’t like being referred to as a girl, by the way; “you turned me into a proper woman, oppa—your woman”, she said after her first time.

-

The buzz from your phone shakes you awake, so you reach over to the bedside table and see the text from Miss Ahn saying that the food is ready. “Junhee, my baby, the food is ready, love”, you poke her in the cheek repeatedly to wake her up. “Hng, carry me, love”, she whines cutely. You carry her on your back and head towards the dining room.

Miss Ahn is waiting for you at the table when you arrive and welcomes you to dinner. “Your dinner is ready, sir and madam”, she says. “Wow, thank you, Miss Ahn. You’re the best!”, Junhee praises Miss Ahn with two thumbs-up and a gleeful smile. Miss Ahn then excuses herself to go home, since it’s almost the end of her working hours.

“Thanks for the meal!”, Junhee exclaims as she picks up some fettucine noodles with a fork and puts it in her mouth, “oh my, delicious as always”. “Apologies, sir”, Miss Ahn returns to the dining room, “your parents sent you a bottle of wine this morning, would you like some as company?”. You see that Junhee also wants some, so you agree to Miss Ahn’s offer and she disappears once again to get the wine and some glasses. “Oooh, a Chateau Margaux”, you say as she brings the bottle to the table. Miss Ahn pours some wine into each of the empty glasses and fills them halfway. “Is that expensive, love?”, Junhee asks. “Yeah, I think so; my mom is a bit of a wine connoisseur, so I’d like to guess that it is”, you tell her. Junhee takes a sip and smacks her lips after, “that’s really good, love”.

You send Miss Ahn away so that she can go home before digging into your fettucine and wine. “This is really good, wow”, you comment. You look at Junhee as you’re chewing and see that she has finished her fettucine. She leans back in her chair and lets out a tiny burp, “oh, sorry, love. It was too fucking good”. “Which one tastes better: the fettucine or my cum?”, you tease her. Junhee’s cheeks are red thanks to you, and she can’t come up with an answer; “you’re not comparing an apple to another apple, though, love; you’re comparing an apple to a banana”, she argues. You shake your head and laugh, “sure, baby, whatever you say”.

-

“It’s Saturday, isn’t it?”, you think to yourself as you’re waking up in the morning. You look around in the dark and see that Junhee is still in dreamland in your arms. You move her arms and legs softly and set them on the bed so that you can get off and stretch your body.

After stretching, you decide to check out Junhee’s gun shelf in the bedroom. You open the shelf and see an unloaded rifle with a suppressor attached to the end of its barrel and two pistols, presumably Glocks, since Junhee likes them so much. When you look down, you see a bunch of magazines lined up tidily and a few boxes of ammunition. You pick up the rifle and rotate it around to inspect it; “feels like a very solid rifle—what is this big ass scope, though?”, you think to yourself. “Looking for something, love?”, Junhee comments as she wakes up. You put the rifle back in its place, “sorry, baby; I was just curious”. “I’m glad that you’re not scared of them”, she comments, “it’s helpful to not be scared of guns, especially when they’re used to protect you”. You turn your attention back to the shelf, “did you modify these things, baby?”.

Junhee gets off the bed and stands next to you. She grabs the rifle from the rack and shows you what part she’s swapped out, such as trigger, charging handle, and bolt carrier group; “obviously you can see the scope and suppressor”, she says. You can hear the enthusiasm in her voice whenever she’s talking about firearms, and you want to keep going for now. “Can you tell me about the pistols? Are these the MOS thingy?”, you ask. “The right one is, but this one isn’t”, she says as she picks up one of them, “this is a Glock G45 with an Omega 9K suppressor and extended mag—Nighthaven gave me this gun as a parting gift”. Junhee puts it back after inspecting it and closes the shelf, “that’s enough gun talk for today, love. Let’s do something else”. “Such as?”, you ask. “Such as giving me your cum before breakfast”, she bites her lip naughtily.

She asks you to sit on the edge of the bed while getting down on both knees in front of you. You pull your boxers down to help her get what she wants, and she strokes your cock immediately; “do you never get tired of having sex, baby?”, you ask. “How can I get tired of sex when my fiancé has such a perfect cock? Not to mention that you were my first and my only”, she says. You keep your eyes on her as she does your favorite thing: tying her hair into a ponytail, even going as far as bending backwards slightly to show off her tits. “God, you look so hot every time you do that”, you comment.

Junhee unbuttons her pajama top and throws it to the side, her tits now free from their restraints. “Love, I know I’ve asked you this before, but what do you think about my tits?”, she says as she holds them with both hands. “If it was up to me, love, I’d carry you in my arms and just suck your tits all day everyday while my cock is deep in your pussy”, you lick your lips at the thought, “would you let me do that?”. Junhee reaches down and starts touching herself, “oppa, I need you so bad—ah, oh—please, oppa”. You pull Junhee onto your lap, your cock pressing against her stomach while your hands are busy fiddling her nipples, “what’s the password, baby?”. “Ah, nghh—please, daddy”, she says with a moan.

You wanted her to say “love”, but “daddy” works just as well if not better. You lift Junhee up by her thighs and impale her pussy with your cock, earning a loud moan from her. “Daddy—ah, fuck, hng—daddy, I love you—ahhh—I love you so much”, Junhee says between noisy moans. “Fuck, baby, you’re so tight”, you praise her as you grit your teeth, “wanna cum for your daddy?”. “Yes, yes, I—AH, FUCK”, Junhee cums as soon as she lets out a scream, and you’re trying your hardest to not bust despite the tight squeeze.

You pull out and ask Junhee to lie on her stomach on the edge of the bed, and unsurprisingly, she obeys right away. You hold your cock and push forward until you feel the warmth of her pussy again—Junhee’s moan is even louder this time, “God, how are you even tighter, baby?”. Junhee screams very loudly at the first contact, seemingly in pain, “tha-that’s my ass, daddy; you-you’re in my ass”. You rub your eyes in disbelief and take a closer look: you are indeed in her ass; “but how did I get in your ass so easily?”, you ask. “I-I’ve been training it, love”, she admits, “I-I wanted to give you my last cherry—ahng, so big, fuck”.

You pull out to process her words, “do you want to say it again?”. Junhee stands up and hugs you, falling limp in your arms like she usually does; “I-I wanted to give you my last cherry, love. That way I’ll be yours entirely”, she says in a weak voice. “But it hurts, no? I don’t want to hurt you, baby”, you say to her. “It did hurt, but it’s only right that I give you my anal cherry”, she says, “please, let me be selfish this one time”. You ask her once again and you’re met with her unwavering determination, so you decide to play along.

Junhee returns to her previous position on the edge of the bed and spreads her cheeks for you, “please, daddy, grant me my wish; I want to be yours enti—FUCK, GENTLY, DADDY”. Your cock is halfway in her ass when she screams it out, “God, baby, you’re so tight”. “Ah-ah-ah—I’m yours, daddy. I’m yours—oh, fuck”, she chants as you fuck her ass at a slow tempo. Once you feel like her rear muscles has relaxed and is stretched enough to accommodate your girth somewhat comfortably, you start fucking her faster. Junhee screams as she feels the increased pace, “YES, YES, I’M YOURS, DADDY”. Her loud chants rile you up even more, and you quietly wish that a household assistant doesn’t happen to be outside the bedroom right now.

The tightness of her ass is different than her pussy’s, and you feel like it’s trying to milk your cum out of your cock. “Baby, I’m about to bust”, you announce to her with a groan. “FUCK, YES, GIVE IT TO ME—GIVE IT TO ME IN THE ASS”, she yells, straining her voice cord—you hope that she won’t lose her voice after this and promise yourself that you’ll give her some water. “AH, FUCK”, you scream out as you release your load in her ass for the first time ever, and you feel splashes on your thighs—Junhee is squirting from anal sex, isn’t that crazy?

You try to pull out, but Junhee tells you to stay inside. “It’s so hot, daddy”, she says, “now I belong to you entirely”. You bend forward and peck her on the nape, “thank you, baby. It was an honor to be your first. I love you, darling”. Junhee then asks you to pull out, citing the pain from the stretch, so you do as she asks and inspect the result of your work. Your cum is dripping out of her gaped asshole that is trying its hardest to return to its original shape. You keep an eye on it until it closes perfectly, and pecks Junhee in the ass, making her gasp in surprise. “Did you like it, daddy?”, she asks. You pull her into a hug before answering, “yes, baby, I liked it a lot. Thank you so much”. “I’m yours now, daddy—like, yours yours, you know?”, Junhee says before pecking you in the cheek. “I know you mean well, but you’re not my property, love”, you say with a smile, “I love you, baby”. “But you get what I mean, right? I’ll do whatever for you, daddy”, she says. You chuckle at her words, “can you eat well and stay healthy for me, love?”. “Aaaaah, you’re not cooperating with meeeeee”, she whines, “you’re so lucky I love you”. You hold her head with both hands, “I know, baby; I’m grateful for you every single day”. Your sweet words make Junhee blush, “I-I’m grateful for you as well, love. I can’t thank you enough for the love you’re showering me with”.

-

It is now 2 hours before you need to leave for dinner. You’ve been busy looking for clothes in the walk-in closet, even going as far as asking Mr. Kang for ideas; “I suggest a white shirt, a three-piece suit in navy-blue, and an orange striped tie, sir”, he said over the phone earlier; his love for those colors is second to none. “I’ll go along with your idea today, Mr. Kang”, you say to yourself. You fetch an orange tie from the shelf and a navy-blue three-piece suit that is tidily kept in cover bag. After putting them on, you grab a box of shoes and head towards the bedroom to check on Junhee.

“Baby”, you knock on the bedroom door, “have you chosen a dress yet?”. Junhee opens the door and walks out, and your jaw drops to the floor right away; she has put on a very fancy white dress and has a matching handbag in her hands. “Dear Lord, you’re so beautiful”, you comment as your eyes roam all over her body from head to toe. “You remember this dress, don’t you?”, she asks—how can you not remember? You gave her that dress as a gift after establishing the first mine under OreQuest Co. last year. You take her hand and peck it, “I can’t wait to get married to you, baby. I love you so much”. “I can’t wait to get married to you, love. I love you more”, she says with a lovely smile, copying your line.

Mr. Kang greets you as you and Junhee walk towards the row of cars, “looking sharp, sir and madam—I see that you’ve agreed to my suggestion, sir”. You shake his hand in appreciation, “I trust your sense of fashion, Mr. Kang. I must say it’s very on-point”. Mr. Kang accepts your thanks with a smile, “may I know which car we’re taking, sir?”. You look around your collection of expensive cars, “can we take the Ghost? That’s armored too, right?”. “It is, sir, just not as thick as the Cadillac”, he says, “please, have a seat”. You open a door for Junhee before getting in yourself, followed by Mr. Kang. “The Sapphire, please, Mr. Kang”, you say to him. Mr. Kang turns on the car and starts driving out of the garage, “certainly, sir”.

During the ride, Junhee pulls out her trusty G45 from her handbag and puts it in the compartment in the center of the seat, “I’ll be unarmed tonight, Mr. Kang; we’re relying on you”. “Understood, madam. Speaking of which, I have an AR-15 in this bag next to me as well”, he says. “Is that a 16-inch, Mr. Kang?”, Junhee asks as she takes a peek. “11-and-a-half, madam; I recently came up with a new build and have been training with it”, Mr. Kang explains. Mr. Kang used to be Junhee’s subordinate during her Nighthaven days, and she was the one who convinced you to hire him as a chauffeur. “You’ve always been the creative one, Mr. Kang—I’ll need a list of the parts you used for it, by the way”, she praises him.

-

Mr. Kang drops you off in front of The Sapphire and opens the door for you with a press of a button. “Director Han”, a staff greets you at the door with a polite bow, “your reservation is ready, sir. Kindly follow me, please”. You hold Junhee’s hand as you follow the staff to your table, secluded from the rest of the visitors. You pull out some money from Junhee’s handbag (since you don’t carry much cash) and hand it to him, “thank you for your help”. “Thank you for the visit, director. Your appetizers will come out soon. Have a good night, sir and madam”, the staff bows again and walks away with a smile. “How did he know that you’re a director, love?”, Junhee asks. You chuckle at her question, “I mean, almost everyone does, whether they hate me or not. Not to mention that The Sapphire’s owners have been good friends with my parents since I was a kid”.

A waiter sets some plates with fancy food on your table while another pours some wine into the glasses. “How long is this dinner, by the way, love?”, Junhee asks as she eyes the food. “9 courses, I think”, you answer her and turn to the waiters and one of them gives you a nod, “yes, 9 courses. Thank you very much, we will be enjoying this”. You lift a glass of wine for a toast, “to us, baby, until the end of time”. Junhee lifts her glass and clinks it with yours, “to us, love, until the end of time”.

-

“Here’s your final course, sir and madam”, the waiter says. “Ah, the last one already?”, you comment, “where has time gone, baby?”. Junhee smiles at you oh-so-warmly, “time flies like a fighter jet when you spend it by talking and laughing with those you love, honey”. Truer words have never been said before and they make you realize how blessed you’ve been throughout your life; “I love you so, so much, baby, but I can’t come up with the words to express myself”, you say with glassy eyes, “I want to get you a gift right now—you know, like a symbol”. “You are my gift, honey—one that never stops giving”, she says with teary eyes as well.

-

You walk out of the restaurant hand-in-hand with Junhee and head towards the car. You open the passenger door and ask Junhee to enter first. You hear a commotion from your left, but initially pay no attention to it and keep minding your business. That is, until the source of the commotion, a man who has a shirt with your face crossed out, appears from around the corner and aims his gun at you. You scream in pain when you feel hot lead hit your left shoulder, and Junhee screams in panic and pulls you into the car. Mr. Kang gets ready to jump out and shoot back, but you tell him no; “don’t, Mr. Kang—just get us out, please”, you say before grunting from the pain.

Mr. Kang plants his foot on the gas and speeds away to get some help for you, and you hear some more shots land on the car. “Love, love”, Junhee calls out to you as tears flow down her cheeks, “stay with me, stay with me, please. Faster, Mr. Kang!”. Your eyelids feel like they weigh a quintal, and you feel powerless to keep them open.

-

You’re lying flat on your back with a bright light shining right in your eyes, and you wonder if you died and is seeing God right now. “God, please protect my fiancé; watch over her and bless her like you’ve blessed me”, you mutter to yourself. “Oppa! Oppa!”, you hear Junhee’s voice coming from God-knows-where, and you can’t help but shed tears. “I’m so sorry for breaking your heart, love. I never meant it to end like this. I love you, baby”, you say to yourself.

A higher power places your soul back into your body as if telling you that this isn’t over yet, and you jolt as if you were electrocuted. You look to your right and see Junhee sitting on a chair next to you: she’s crying her heart out with her hands on her face. “Junhee-yah”, you weakly call out to her, and she gasps in shock before rushing to you. “Love! Love, you’re awake—oh God, thank you—thank you so much”, she says in tears, “I’m so sorry, love. I-I was supposed to protect you. Oh, God, I failed you”. You try to sit, but Junhee holds you down, “no-no-no, please, just lay down. You’re safe here; Mr. Kang is guarding the door”. You wipe her tears with your thumb, “are you okay, baby? Are you hurt?”. Junhee shakes her head as she presses your hand against her cheek, “I-I’m fine, love”. You show her a gentle smile, “then you didn’t fail anyone, love; this is simply an accident”.

You take a good look around the room and the IV drip and heart monitor tell you that you’re at a hospital. “Thank you for bringing me here, love”, you tell Junhee, “I hope no one gave you trouble”. Junhee exhales deeply before answering, “this hospital is secretly owned and run by Nighthaven; they don't ask questions”. You suddenly feel a sharp pain in your shoulder area, and you let out a grunt because of it; “do you know where he hit me?”, you ask her. “Somewhere here”, she points at her own shoulder, under the collarbone, “the bullet is still sitting in your body, by the way—it’s fine, though, you’ll live”.

Junhee sits back down in her chair and texts Mr. Kang and your parents, telling them that you’re alive and well—minus the bullet wound. You chuckle while looking at her, “I was about to ask if you’re hungry, but we literally just had dinner”. Junhee pecks you in the cheek, “I haven’t even thanked you for taking me to dinner—thank you, love”. Since you can’t sit and peck her back, you opt to peck her hand instead, “happy anniversary, baby”. “Happy anniversary, oppa”, she replies with a merry smile.

-

You’re cleared to go home after spending 3 days in the hospital, and you finally see Mr. Kang since the shooting as you’re walking to the car. “Director, pleased to see you again”, he says with a bow, “my apologies for not reacting in time, sir”. You pat him on the back, “it’s fine, Mr. Kang. As long as no one else got hurt, I’m content with it”. He nods and smiles, “one more thing, sir; your secretary received a message from your parents saying that they’re inviting you to dinner on the 21st”. “Dinner, Mr. Kang? Did they forget what just happened?”, you let out an amused chuckle. “The dinner will be at their house, sir, and your fiancé has arranged for Nighthaven to guard the area—she might not be one of them anymore, but she’s still the highly-respected Head of Personnel Development in their eyes”, he explains. “Aaaah, I want to go hoooome”, Junhee whines, “love, please; can we not go home already?”. “You heard the lady, Mr. Kang; let’s go home”, you say to him.

-

Junhee drags you to the bedroom and asks you to sit on the edge of the bed, presumably because she desperately wants your cock after spending a few days without sex. “Are you that horny, baby?”, you ask Junhee, who is seemingly in a rush to strip. “You have no idea”, she says, “I would’ve sucked your cock and have you cum in me that night if it wasn’t for that fucking bastard”. She turns away from you and holds your cock as she lowers herself, “I want it in my ass, daddy—can I have it in my ass, please?”. You both know that your cock and her asshole are dry, but you don’t want to ruin Junhee’s mood, so you let her do what she wants and agree to fuck her ass again.

Hearing your approval, she starts lowering her butt until your tip is at her entrance. Once she manages to get the tip in, you pull her down roughly and fill her ass with your entire shaft. She throws her head back and screams, “ah-ah—daddy, so full—ah-ah, yes”. You then yank her hair and ask her where your cock is; “it-it’s in my ass, daddy—FUCK, YES, PLEASE”, she answers with a scream because you’re getting impatient with the slow pace and thrust up into her ass.

You feel tired after a few minutes, so you pull out and ask her to get on her hands and knees on the bed. Junhee’s arms become limp as you’re fucking her from behind, causing her to drop her torso onto the bed. You spank her multiple times as you’re fucking her ass hard and fast, making Junhee scream both in pain and pleasure. “Daddy, daddy, yes—fuck, yes—do me, daddy”, she chants repeatedly. “I hope you like it rough”, you say to her as you plant your feet on the bed to get a better posture to fuck her.

You finally blow your load in her ass with a groan, but unlike last time, Junhee isn’t squirting. She also doesn’t resist when you pull out, choosing to drop her ass flat onto the bed due to exhaustion. “You were so rough, daddy; I don’t think I’ll be able to walk after this”, she comments with heavy breaths. “I’m so sorry, love. You made me really horny, and I went off the rails”, you apologize as you pat her back gently.

You roll Junhee onto her back and cuddle her, “I know I technically didn’t go anywhere, but I’ve missed you so much, baby”. Junhee steals a peck from your cheek, “I’ve missed you too, love. I’m so glad you’re okay now”. You glance at the clock hanging on the wall and see that you still have a lot of time until bedtime, “love, are we ready to call it a night or do you have other ideas?”. She gathers her might and straddles your thighs, “you haven’t filled my pussy, love; one more round, please? I want you to make me sore”.

Her words arouse you, and you feel your cock hardening again instantly after hearing that you’ll be doing another round. Junhee holds your cock in one hand and starts stroking it, “always so hard for me, aren’t you? I love it”. You close your eyes and enjoy the handjob she’s giving you. That is, until she asks for your attention; “eyes on me, love”, she says with a smile. You look at Junhee in the eyes, and she immediately stuff herself with your cock. “Fuck, the size catches me off guard every single time”, she says before taking the entirety of your cock in her pussy, “oh, fuck, so full again”.

You don’t want to miss out on Junhee’s heavenly soft moans, so you pull her down and keep her in your arms while her hips are busy going up and down your cock at a relaxed tempo. “Moan for me, love; you know how much I love the sound”, you say to her. Junhee nibbles your ear before moaning right into your ears. “Ah-ah—honey, I love you so much”, she says softly into your ears, “everything about you is just perfect, honey—take me, honey, yes”. You want to reply to her with your own words, but your low voice doesn’t sound as sexy as hers, so you decide to do something else. You latch your lips on her neck and start sucking and nibbling, feeling keen on planting hickeys on her pale skin. “Yes, mark me, love—I’ll show them who I belong to”, Junhee eggs you on. With her encouragement, you suck on her neck harder until it’s red.

Rough sex is fun and all, but nothing beats slow romantic sex with very minimal profanity, as you’re able to rejoice in the sensations and show your significant other how much you love them, just like how you and Junhee are doing it right now. “My love, I want to cum with you”, she says softly between moans. “Kiss me, baby”, you say to her as you guide her chin towards you. Junhee plants her lips on yours and starts kissing you lovingly and passionately, adding a bit of tongue wrestling on top of it. Junhee breaks the kiss to deliver some news, “I’m so close, my love. Please, please finish with me”.

Orgasm is finally at the door again after what felt like half an hour, and your cock twitches in Junhee’s pussy. “Yes, love, give it to—OH, GOD”, Junhee cuts herself off and yelps as she reaches her peak. You follow closely behind her and blow your load inside her pussy. Junhee kisses you again as she rides her high, only breaking it after it passes. “I love you so much, honey”, she says. “How much?”, you say with a teasing smile. Junhee straightens her posture and makes a big circle with her hands, “thiiiiis much”. You laugh at her antic, “I love you more, baby”.

There are stray strands of hair all over her face, so you do your best to tidy them up for her. She lies on your body after you’re done, “thank you for everything, love”. “You’re welcome, baby. Thank you”, you reply to her, “you want to let me out, or no?”. “No, let’s just stay like this until tomorrow, that way I’ll be able to ride you first thing in the morning—would you consent to that, by the way?”, she says. You smile at her, “of course; it’s not like you’ll cut my penis off when I’m asleep, is it? What makes you want me to stay inside, though?”.

She plants her hands on your chest and looks at you, “I don’t know if other men’s penis does this, but yours doesn’t shrink; you’re just limp—you’re very big, by the way, if you haven’t noticed already. I’d love to keep your penis in my mouth or vagina all day long if it was up to me”. You laugh at her words, “it feels like you’d do a lot of things if it was up to you”. She slaps your chest playfully before resting on your body again, “I really want to be naked all day and let you do what you want to me, though”. “What about the household assistants, love? You don’t want them to see you run around the house naked, do you?”, you ask. “Oh, you’re right”, she says as the gears in her head turn, “we can give them a day off, no? That way the house will be empty. Please say yes, love”. You smile and shake your head in amusement, “sure, baby. Just tell me when, okay?”.

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

Charlie: “Whhhew...! That was-”

Vaggie: “A lot?”

Charlie: “-better than expected!”

Vaggie: “No kidding. If I’d known inviting your dad here would get Alastor looking like a wet cat, I’d’ve pushed for it sooner.”

Charlie: “I’m just glad you pushed when you did.” (smooch) “Thank you. I’ve missed him.”

Vaggie: “Looks like he’s really missed you too, babe.”

Charlie: “Mm. Not enough to call, though.”

Vaggie: “Ehh, calling can be scary. Good thing you’re plenty brave.”

Charlie: “Only when you’re holding my hand!”

Vaggie: “Husk would say that’s an act of fucking bravery all on it’s own, letting yourself get grabbed by the small, mean, grumpy lady. Remind me not to help him out at the bar again ever. I think there’s vodka in my hair.”

Charlie: “I’ll try, but you know you’re gonna help anyway.” (second smooch) “Can I get a ‘you’re welcome’?”

Vaggie: (chuckling) “Charlie, I didn’t do anything.”

Charlie: “You do lots.”

Vaggie: “And thank hell Angel Dust isn’t around to hear that…”

Charlie: “I’m serious! You got me to call dad in the first place!”

Vaggie: “I just suggested it, you’re the one who did it, and you two worked things out together like a real father-daughter team.”

Charlie: “And we’re a great team too.”

Vaggie: “Well I’m definitely a pretty big fan of us. Although…. Sir Pentious and Keekee are giving us a run for our money. And the Niffty plus a lock of Lucifer’s hair combo might just have us beat.”

Charlie: “Blegh! She actually got that in the end? I thought her scissors couldn’t even cut it!”

Vaggie: “They didn’t. She used my spear.”

Charlie: “She WHAT-”

Vaggie: “And asked your dad very nicely to please take off his hat so she could trim off a piece without ruining the rest of his hair.”

Charlie: (sigh) “I guess as long as she ASKED…”

Vaggie: “D’you think her whole room is just a shrine to quote unquote bad boys?”

Charlie: “Oh don’t say that. We need to introduce her to some boybands or something.”

Vaggie: “We?”

Charlie: “Yes ‘we’, little miss likes making lesbian covers of the songs normally sung by teenage boys while you’re in the shower and think the sound of running water can in any way drown out your beautiful, heart stopping voice-”

Vaggie: “I- you- You’ve been listening!?”

Charlie: “Eeeev-er-y morning yep! Heheh~”

Vaggie: “Diablo mio… I need a drink.”

Charlie: (giggling) “To go with the vodka hair?” (nibbles Vaggie’s fringe) “Nom nom nom. Delicious~”

Vaggie: “Scratch that- clearly WE need some SLEEP.”

Charlie: “How can I sleep at all tonight, though? Vaggie- we’re gonna get a meeting with the top angels of creation! We’re gonna be on cloud nine! Literally! In HEAVEN!!”

Vaggie: “And sleep won’t be enough to prepare me for that but you definitely need it.”

Charlie: “It’s impossible! I need to SING!!!!!”

Vaggie: “You need to go shuck off those shoes and get in your ruby slippers while I put in your fav movie so we can get some rest.”

Charlie: “If you put in the Wizard of Oz you know I’m 100% gonna sing anyway right.”

Vaggie: “Yeah, but you’ll be singing in bed so you can keep watching the movie, and that’s good enough for me.”

Charlie: “I love youuuu~”

Vaggie: “Love you too sweetie. Slippers. Bed. Z’s. Now.”

Charlie: (kicks off shoes) “Ta da! There’s no place like home!"

Charlie: (clicks hooves together)

Charlie: "Heheheheh...!”

Vaggie: “I meant on the bed in your pajamas and under the actual covers- vaya, whatever. Scoot. Don’t go running off to Oz without me.”

Charlie: (snuggling vaggie in a hug instead) “I’m never going anywhere without you, Vaggie. Including heaven.”

Vaggie: (awkward laugh) “Great…”

Charlie: “Wanna know whyyyy?”

Vaggie: (smiles) “I make a great hand-holder, apparently.”

Charlie: “Yes. And, you’re home.”

Vaggie: “….yeah? I’m here? This is our room?”

Charlie: (snorting) “Vaggie-”

Vaggie: “In our hotel??”

Charlie: “Vaggie nooo- Anywhere else would be home too, with you there.”

Vaggie: “…..”

Vaggie: (deep breath)

Vaggie: “…... Charlie-”

Charlie: “You gonna press play?”

Vaggie: “-huh? Oh. Yeah.”

Charlie: (snuggling her) “This has been an amazing day. Wish every day could be like this, forever.”

Vaggie: “Yeah.” (hoarse) (curling up as close to charlie as she can) "Me too.”

-101 minutes of Oz later-

Vaggie: "Charlie?"

Charlie: "... nnnoooo..."

Vaggie: "Charlie, c'mon, at least let's get your coat off."

Charlie: "Mmrrr... mi mi mi..."

Vaggie: "You can go 'snork mi mi mi' afterwards. Work with me here, Dorothy- I can't get you settled into Oz without help."

Charlie: "Hmmheheheh... so im Dorothy..?"

Vaggie: "Definitely. You've got the ruby slippers on and everything."

Charlie: "I love that you call my hooves that~ Thats so silly. You're so silly, Vaggie."

Vaggie: "And you're already half asleep. Suspenders next, okay?"

Charlie: "Remove the suspenders... delete the suspenders..."

Vaggie: "Get your horns tangled in the suspenders somehow, wait, hold on-"

Charlie: "SUSPEND the SUSPEDERS!"

Vaggie: "Alright, good enough. That's all the annoying stuff gone anyway. You should be good like that, right?"

Charlie: "Sleeeeeepy. Snuggles?"

Vaggie: "Snuggles right after I change, give me one sec okay."

Charlie: "Mmm."

Charlie: "...vaggie."

Vaggie: "That was half a second."

Charlie: "Vaggiiiiie."

Vaggie: "I'm right over here, stop making grabby hands."

Charlie: "Vaggggiiiiiiiee...!"

Vaggie: (huffs) "Fine, fine..." (snuggles) "Not like my nightie would cover much anyway. But if we end up having to get up in the middle of the night for something exploding again, you're going out first, and I'm stealing your jacket."

Charlie: "You look good in my clothes."

Vaggie: "I look like a ten year old. The sleeves have to be rolled back to the elbow just so I have hands."

Charlie: "I like your hands..."

Vaggie: "Thanks." (kiss) "Go to sleep, Charlie."

Charlie: "Wait- heheheh- wait, Vaggie-"

Vaggie: "What?"

Charlie: "Vaggie, Vaggieeee~!"

Vaggie: "Giggling into my boobs isn't helping me understand what you're saying, babe."

Charlie: "Vaggie. If I'm Dorothy, and youuuu are GAY, then.."

Vaggie: "Little scared to see where this is going, not gonna lie."

Charlie: "Does that make-" (snickers) "Does that make you a girlfriend of Dorothy's?"

Vaggie: "............."

Charlie: "Vaggie~?"

Vaggie: "...Charlie. Please."

Vaggie: "Go the fuck to sleep."

Charlie: "HEH!"

[miniversse]

⭑“race my heart”pt.1⭑

╰┈➤ OTHER PARTS

⭑ lee know x female reader

⭑ synopsis: lee know, your academic rival strikes your path again during a motorbike meet up, and the lines of hatred and love begin to blur. as the engines rev and the wind blows hard, these lines intertwine and you both spill the bottles of emotions you had for eachother.

⭑ content includes: (barely any) drinking, non-idol lee know, non-idol reader, enemies to lovers, readers friend, pet name (sweetheart)

⭑ minors dni

⭑——————————————————⭑

the sound of the roaring engines shook the bones in your body. you regret telling your friend you were into biker guys because here you are, sitting on a stack of tires, watching the cocky guys rev their motorbikes and force clearly uncomfortable girls on rides. “loosen up! here’s a beer” your friend approaches your way…

“yea, thanks” you take a large swig and continue observing the group of guys, hoping to maybe find someone that stood out to you.

“see that guy there? with the blonde hair? what do you think of him” your friend points at a man, grabbing at another girls ass and eyeing you disgustingly.

“girl what the fuck”

she lets out a loud laugh and jumps off the tower of wheels she sat on, dusting her pants and winking at you.

“i’m gonna go talk to him”

“good luck! he can drive your ass home too!” you scoffed at how gullible she was, falling for any guy that met one of her pity demands. in this case, he happened to be blonde and about 6 foot.

you began to get lightheaded and bored, so you walk off from the crowd to enjoy some silence on the dark sandy roads. as you move further, you identify another motorbike and a man squatting infront of it, inspecting something. the lights of the motorbike beamed his whole face, and you stopped dead in your tracks.

“l-lee know?” you were certain it was him, not even bothering to move any closer.

his head slowly moves to face the direction his name called, his eyes still on the motorbike.

“hm?” his eyes now move to face you, and his eyes widen. he gets up from his knees and he stands tall, in all his glory. he wore a tank top and black jeans with a puffy harley davidson jacket, helmet resting on the floor. you could’ve sworn your heart stopped.

lee know was your academic rival. during college you and him would battle head to head, always aiming to achieve perfect grades and grades better than his. the hatred never settled, and you both graduated with pure hatred for eachother. but as you grew older and started stalking his social life, the line between hatred and love blurred, and you began to see him in another light.

“what.. the hell are you doing here?” he exclaims

“my friend brought me over with her, in hopes i find my ‘dream man’ “ you gestured with air quotes.

“good luck, none of the guys would settle for someone who looks like you”

“huh, you haven’t changed in the slightest. i mean, we both graduated with the same grades and you still hate me?”

he turns to face his motorbike again, wiping the hood with his hand

“i didn’t want to hate you y/n and figure things out, but you really are a scumbag and there is no arguing that”

you’re taken aback, remembering all the times he tried sabotaging your exams and putting everything at risk to bring you lower.

“let me remind you of that one time you shoved the answer sheet in my exam papers and failed me.”

you see him grow a grin on his face, and your blood begins to boil.

“you’re just calling me a scumbag because i didn’t put up with your shit like every other person who wanted your sympathy”

“what do you want now, y/n”

you take a long breath, thinking about what you wanted. you wanted him to apologize, to get to know you now, to drive you to his place, to make love with you, to degrade you like he always did. you wanted a lot.

“you can drive me home since none of the guys ‘want me’ ”

“and what makes you think i want you? hm?”

“it’s the least you can do for that exam you made me fail. don’t get me started.”

he seemed to love everytime you mention it, because he grins uncontrollably and it makes you want to slap him across the face.

“fine then, but you’re waiting till i leave”

you let out an audible sigh and go back to where your friend is, or was. it seemed like he really drove her ass home.

you’re eyes got heavy while you laid on the sand, watching the clouds drive on the starry night. everyone had left with their pair, and you were left waiting for lee know to finish whatever he had going on. you would call a cab, but this meet up was in the middle of a desert and no cab was willing to off road at 1 in the morning. you check your phone to see if your friend had left you a message. and sure she had.

MY OTHER HALF- i knew lee know would be there 00:17

MY OTHER HALF- have fun girlfriend ;) 00:17

YOU- kys 01:03

you hear the faint noise of an engine and jolt up, ready to go home and process what happened today. he gets to a stop behind you and you lift yourself up, squinting at the intensity of his bright white lights. you awkwardly approach the back of his motorbike and climb on, resisting to place your hands around his waist.

“i’ve never done this before.”

“we’ll wrap your hands around me, so it doesn’t become your last”

he was always straight forward and rude, since the first day you met him. but he never spoke anything that could be argued, and you surely didn’t want to die in his arms.

you let your arms wrap around his stomach and distance your body from him, trying to keep things mundane till you would reach home.

“hold tight sweetheart”

⭑ TO BE CONTINUED

[redroomreflections]

Gentle Hands Chapter 1

Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Summary: Natasha suspects Reader is in an abusive relationship and tries to convince her to leave

1/10

W/c: 7.7k

Warning: Domestic violence

Masterlist | General Masterlist

Note: Yes, I have a lot of WIPS sue me!

The problem with wearing a mask is that eventually, you can’t take it off. Sure, you can stretch the truth. You can come up with some other lie or story that helps move things along. Wearing a mask is like lying to yourself. You pretend everything is okay. You tell yourself more lies to believe you’re doing a good thing. That you’re keeping others safe. If only they knew.

You nod along to the melody pouring from the custom-built speakers Tony Stark installed in the lounge. You laugh whenever someone makes a joke. You smile politely when something is directed towards you. You’re among superheroes every day that ironically don’t wear masks. Their lives are wide open for everyone to see. Their secrets are all out on the table. You’re amongst the earth’s mightiest heroes and you feel like an imposter. Their personalities are big. Their smiles are bright. Their kindness is everlasting. You don’t know if you should be feeling the way you do when they’ve extended their grace to you. They’ve opened their hearts and their home to you. They consider you one of them and yet you can’t seem to offer them the same.

Your life is messy. Complicated. Normal. It’s nothing worthy of the time they’ve given you. It’s a movie night with the Avengers and you’re tucked into Sam’s side and holding onto Bucky’s arm as you watch whatever movie is on the TV screen. Not that you have much of a choice. They’re two pretty big men compared to you and there was only one open seat. You’re not sure they like each other all too well. It’s not your place to ask. So you sit between them with a question at the tip of your tongue that you may never know. You don’t mind much. It feels nice to be included. You’re not an Avenger. You’re not even a part of S.H.I.E.L.D. You’re just a simple secretary with a 9 to 5 who managed to charm Steve Rogers. You’re not like them.

Strong. Brave. Fearless.

You’re just… normal. You can count on one hand the things you’ve done in life that could even be a smidge of what they do every day. They save the world and all you do is file paperwork and answer phones. How does that compare?

Your eyes scan the room. As you observe them you wonder how is it that you’ve managed to fool them all. Do they notice how uncomfortable you are? Do they notice that you apologize whenever you make a mistake? Do they notice your hands shaking whenever a friendly debate becomes a bit more heated than necessary? No. Why would they? You’re just another person to them. A normal person with normal problems. Nothing could be wrong.

You look at each of them one by one as they enjoy the movie. Tony is munching on popcorn, quoting the movie whenever he can, as Pepper looks less enthused about this particular picture. She’s seen it a dozen times since she’s met him. Clint, a.k.a. Hawkeye, he’s half interested, as he checks his phone every three minutes. He must be a popular man the way it vibrates so much. He rests his arms on Natasha’s legs thrown into his lap. She’s leaning into his side, nosily reading the messages as if they’re her own. Her eyes flick to the screen ever so often as she mumbles the lines to herself. It’s a favorite of hers too. Steve is next to her. He’s more interested than any of you. He’s never seen this one. Bucky hasn’t either as he attempts to stay awake through the entire thing. Sam has taken to throwing popcorn over your shoulder, letting it fall into Bucky’s hair that’s incredibly long. Wanda is settled in a chair with her legs thrown over the arm. She’s reading from her kindle with the display brightness turned down low. She’s not interested in the movie but she’s enjoying the company of the others.

Vision is seated just below her on the floor. He’s trying to analyze some of the jokes of the movie. He laughs at inappropriate times and he looks to you for answers but you just shrug. You don’t quite get the movie either. This entire scene is domestic. It feels like a family. You remembered longing for days like this when you were younger. You would watch episodes of FRIENDS wondering if that would ever be your reality.

It’s refreshing how safe you feel here. How you feel like nothing can hurt you. Life should be like this forever? It’s how you always felt during family movie nights as a little girl. You would lie on the living room floor with your older sister, you would share a blanket, and rest your head on your elbows to see the tv better. You would glance around you ever so often to make sure your parents were paying attention. This night in the Avenger’s tower is reminiscent of that. It feels like home.

Until the lights come on. It pulls everyone from the moment as J.A.R.V.I.S. announces the presence of a visitor. Suddenly everyone is on guard. Bucky sits up. He’s more alert than he’s been in the past few hours. The hairs on the back of your neck stand up as you realize who it is. Sam reaches to grab the remote from the coffee table to pause the TV. Wanda moves to sit upright. Natasha grabs at her pants leg. Was she hiding a gun in those sweatpants? Everyone is on guard but you’re the one that’s afraid.

He steps in with an air of arrogance. He walks like he owns the place. Like he’s not nervous to be trespassing the home of people who could kill him without batting an eye. He gives a convincing smile though you’re not sure anyone is buying it.

“Uh, may we help you?” Tony is the first to speak.

“I’m here for y/n.” He says simply. He folds his arms behind his back and stands shoulder-width apart. His stance is not menacing. It’s quite friendly actually. Everyone turns to you. Curiosity in their eyes. You’ve mentioned having a boyfriend but you never had any intention of introducing them to him.

“I’m right here,” You stand a bit faster than necessary. “I have to go.” You search the couch cushions for your phone and your purse. You reach as far as you can go but you end up finding nothing. All eyes are on the newcomer again. He gives you a soft smile that’s almost convincing. You can feel someone staring at your back though you can’t tell who. Your shirt rises and you straighten to pull it back down. Finally, Bucky lifts and grabs the offending items from his end. He hands them to you. You give him a quiet thanks before turning around.

“But you didn’t finish the movie?” Tony groans. “Hey, trespasser, come sit and watch the movie. Y/n’s not done.”

“I called you.” Keith ignores Tony’s demands. He looks straight ahead to you.

“My phone must have died,” You explain as you press the power button. Sure enough, it is dead.

“You know how dangerous that is.” His voice is friendly though you know better.

“Well she’s not alone,” Sam tilts his head. “How much danger could she be in?”

“Our daughter is home,” Keith looks to Sam. “With a babysitter. It’s important for y/n to be available,” he says. He tucks his hands into his pocket to wait patiently for you. By the tick of his jaw you know it’s not that simple.

“You have a daughter?” Steve chimes in with a question. None of them knew. Not many people know.

“I do, she’s one. Her name is Kaia.” You shake your head in dismissal. “I will explain later. This is my boyfriend Keith. He’s Kaia’s father.” You walk around the couches to stand beside Keith. He wraps his arm around your shoulders to land a kiss on your forehead. He lingers before pulling back.

“Goodnight,” He gives them a wave before leading you into the elevators. Neither of you leaves any room for question. As soon as you’re inside he releases you from his hold. His hand twitches but he doesn’t move to do anything else. He’s not stupid. He won’t do anything in such high security, high-tech building. For a second you’re questioning how he was even allowed up then you remember his charm. It’s how he landed you once upon a time. Keith doesn’t speak until you’re out on the sidewalk. Home is just a fifteen-minute train ride away. “You should know better.” He says before releasing his hold on you.

“Keith, I’m sorry, my phone did die.” You call after him as he walks a bit faster. He’s not waiting for you at all anymore.

“Do you know I had to call around and see where you were?” He turns so suddenly that you almost bump into him.

“Again, I’m sorry.” You feel the frustration rising within you. He’s always like this. It’s no surprise. He thinks he owns you. He likes to micromanage every single one of your moves. He has to know every minor detail about your schedule. Which seems to anger you further. You’re working. You’re always working. Which he so graciously allows you to. “I was here. I’m sure Kaia is fine.” You shrug. Keith looks at you with narrowed eyes. For a second you think he’s going to debate but he doesn’t. Instead, he continues walking towards the train. You let out a silent breath as you look back to the tower. You’d much rather be back inside with the team.

The train ride home is silent. He sits beside you with a possessive hand on your thigh. You allow yourself to settle into him. From the outside, you look like the perfect young couple. You wonder if anyone could see through his gentle touches. You wonder if they know the lingering kisses he leaves on your head are just a warning of what’s to come. He’s not going to let this go so easily.

When you get home, you step into the door and kick off your shoes. You place them neatly on the bamboo shoe rack right next to his loafers. He heads for the fridge in search of a beer. He’s probably had a tough day in the office. He’s the youngest executive at Microsoft and that comes with its struggles. You’re understanding of that. Almost too understanding. You don’t pay him any mind as you walk further into your apartment. Everything you were afraid of disappears when you spot Kaia in her playpen. Kaia pushes against the fabric of the pen to stand. She smiles up at you with that smile. The one that she always has whenever you come home. It’s beautiful and innocent. You don’t hesitate to swoop her in your arms.

You kiss the top of her head before looking over to the babysitter, Maureen. She’s packing up her knitting tools. She’s a nice lady that lives down the hall. She never minds keeping an eye on Kaia when you’re working. You rarely go out so asking her to keep her a little longer wasn’t much of an ask. She just wanted you to have fun.

“How was she today?” You ask.

“An angel.” Maureen smiles. “I’ll see you soon.” Maureen waves her goodbye before exiting the apartment. You stand in silence, bouncing Kaia in your arms, as she toys with the necklace you’re wearing. You glance around the living room. It’s not that messy in here. You figure you can clean once Kaia’s asleep.

“Are you ready for a bath, my girl?” You ask her. You kiss her head again before looking over to Keith. He’s sitting at the kitchen table, his legs are crossed, and he’s sipping from the bottle.

“Are you going to cook?” He asks suddenly.

“What? No, I ate already.” You tell him. “Maureen already fed Kaia. I left her dinner instructions this morning.”

“So, I get nothing?” He deduces. Was it so bad for him to cook for himself?

“Keith,” You sigh. Was this really what he was angry about? You stayed after work with friends one time. Was that so bad? To him it was.

“No, you’re right, I’ll just order out.” He shakes his head. Good. Crisis averted. You walk to the back of the apartment to dress into something more comfortable. You set Kaia on the bed with a toy so that you can strip. Keith approaches the doorway to watch you. He glances to Kaia and then to you. His gaze is strong and heated.

“Can you start a bath for her?” You ask him. He doesn’t respond. You internally roll your eyes. You don’t know what his deal is today but you’re not in the mood to find out. You unbutton your blouse to reveal your bra. It’s new. It’s a part of the new wardrobe you’ve needed for a long while. Your new salary gives you the luxury to buy things like this now. Stark Industries pays pretty well. You’re only a temp but you enjoy the job nonetheless.

“I haven’t seen that one before,” Keith comments. He tucks his hands into his pocket.

“I just bought it,” You reply. Next to go are your pants. You toss them onto the bed. You glance behind you to make sure Kaia is still playing.

“For who?” He asks. You stop your search for comfier clothes to look up at him. What is he getting at?

“For myself,” You frown.

“Are you fucking him?” He suddenly asks. There it is.

“Him who, Keith?” You sit on the bed. You’re in nothing but your underwear but it’s nothing he hasn’t seen before.

“Steve Rogers, Captain America.” He says it as if it’s obvious.

“Where would you get that ridiculous accusation from?” You shake your head. “Keith I’ve barely been there for a few months. He’s nice to me. I’m not sleeping with him.” You stand to look for a t-shirt again. You find one of your mom’s old college shirts that you’re pretty sure is your dad’s. You slip it over your head. You pick Kaia up and she squeals. You’re preoccupied now with the thought of bathing her. You take the few steps to head for the bathroom only Keith is still in the way.

“Does he want to fuck you?” Keith asks. You wish he would stop with the accusations. How could he accuse you of something like that? Especially when he’s the only person you’ve ever slept with. He’s your first. He knows that. He wears it proudly but suddenly he’s voicing insecurity that’s based on nothing.

“I don’t know,” You shrug. You gesture for him to move and he does. He follows you to the bathroom. He watches you without offering any help as you turn on the bathwater. You set Kaia down onto her feet as she holds onto the lip of the tub. She places her mouth on the edge to bite at it as you check the water temperature. “I wouldn’t notice.”

“The Black Widow is hotter in person,” He comments. Again you shrug.

It’s not like you disagree with him on that. Natasha is beautiful. She hasn’t said much to you since you’ve been hanging out with the rest of the team. She only even comes to movie nights because Clint drags her to them. You think she secretly enjoys the bonding.

“Look, the team is nice.” You strip Kaia of her clothes before placing her into the tub. The water is low and enough to bathe her quickly. She splashes excitedly as you toss a few toys in. You can feel the familiar ache in your back as you reach over the side to begin bathing her. “I just wanted to have a good time with them. I didn’t think it would be a big deal.”

“It’s not,” He says.

“Keith, you seem upset that I even stayed at work,” You look behind you. He’s still dressed in his button-up and slacks. “A job you suggested I get remember.” It’s true. He suggested that you go out more and have friends. It was not without you begging for months. He never has his mind made up when it comes to your place in his life. When you first got together he was charming, kind, loving. He’s still all of those things when he chooses to be. It was only after you got pregnant with Kaia that things started to change. It was like a switch went off in his head. Suddenly his behavior was different. He was more possessive, angrier, more physical. It’s almost as if he hated you for even getting pregnant. This much after he begged you to keep the baby in the first place.

“Not upset just curious.” He shrugs. You can feel him coming closer. He kneels, fixing his pants legs so that it’s more comfortable for him to lean over the tub. He pushes his arm sleeves up to reach into the bathtub. He grabs a rubber duck to push it around in the water as it floats. Kaia gives him a toothy grin as she reaches for the duck. You strain your neck to look at him. “She needs a sibling.” You cringe. There it is again. The flipflopping. “Don’t you think ?”

Is that a trick question?

“I think that we should wait,” You say instead. “Until I finish school.” He stops playing with Kaia to give a deep sigh.

“You’re still on that?” He sits back on his legs. “I thought this job was enough.”

“It is,” You assure him. “I just would like to finish my degree. I only have two years left. Isn’t that what we wanted?”

“Yeah, before,” He shakes his head. “Now you don’t need to. I can take care of you.”

You don’t doubt that he could take care of you. You never doubted that. His family is already quite wealthy. They’re powerful. He understands the trade of business. He’s good with his money. He takes care of all of your needs but you want this for yourself. You promised yourself you would. He takes your silence for petulance and tries a different approach.

“Kaia needs you,” He says. “ She needs her mom. I mean with this job you barely have time for her anyways. If you add school to that she’s just going to be raised by a babysitter. I don’t want that.”

“Well you could do it,” You stop yourself from saying it. You’re not in the mood for an argument.

“Would you like a baby brother?” Keith directs his words to Kaia. She splashes at his attention. “See, even she says yes.” He laughs. He helps to clean her hair as you wash the rest of her body. The conversation seems to be over for now. He races for a clean towel as you hold a naked and wet Kaia against you. She’s slippery and still a bit energetic. Hopefully, with one song she will fall asleep. You walk over to the mirror to look into it as she leans her head onto your shoulder while bringing her hand up to her mouth to suck on. You inspect both of you in interest. She has your eyes. Her lashes are thick as her eyes flutter with heaviness. Maybe a song won't be needed. You rock her in your arms becoming entranced by your movements.

You enjoy motherhood. You do. Another baby sounds nice in theory. You grew up with siblings. Keith has two brothers himself. Was it unfair to have Kaia grow up alone? You’re not sure. Thinking about the time it would take to raise another one, the toll on your body, the time off of work. School seems a bit further away as you realize another pregnancy meant no time for it. Maybe that’s his plan.

Keith enters with a towel and he finally takes Kaia into his arms. She grunts in protest before settling into his arms. You follow him into her bedroom where he begins to dress her. He diapers her with ease as she watches him with sleepy eyes. You hand him the lotion bottle, then the baby powder, and finally the onesie pajamas for her to wear. You watch how he interacts with her. He’s a good dad. He is. He’s gentle with her. He plays with her. He loves her.

Why wasn’t that enough for you?

You leave him to put her to bed. You search for your phone. There are a few notifications that you weren’t expecting. It’s a groupchat of some sort you’ve been added to. You unlock your phone in excitement to see the unfamiliar numbers messaging you. The only number you do recognize is Steve’s as he’s sent you museum finds a while ago. You open the chain message to read each of them.

There’s a picture of Tony in a headlock attempting to break from Natasha’s grasp. You find it a bit funny and you heart the picture. You scroll up further in search of the other messages.

Hey, y/n, you missed out on the after-show. You laugh as the replies come rolling in. You type a response quickly after you ask for everyone’s names. Soon enough they reply with answers. Were you worthy to be included in their super-secret and private text chain?

You plug your phone into the charger as Keith enters the bedroom. He approaches you from behind to wrap his arms around your waist. You stiffen in his embrace before allowing yourself to relax. You know him. Your body knows him as it reacts to the kisses he places along your neck. He rubs your belly with his thumbs as you sway in place.

“I’m sorry,” He apologizes though he doesn’t elaborate. It could be for several things. “I’m stressed at work. I was upset when I came home to see you weren’t here. I should have known. Have your friends. You deserve it.”

“Thanks,” You say robotically.

“I like seeing you pregnant,” He says as his soothing rubs turn into firmer touches. His left-hand travels down so that he can trace your stomach under your shirt. You allow his touches. You welcome them. You can feel the slickness coating the inside of your thighs as he nips at the lobe of your ear. He toys with the waistband of your panties before moving to slide them down. “Let me take care of you.” He breathes hotly into your ear and you nod your consent.

************************

The next morning you’re back at work bright and early. You’re typing away at your computer when Darcy Lewis comes to the lobby. She has donuts in her hand which only means she’s here to bribe you. You try to hide your grin as she bounces over to your desk. She places the box smack dab in the middle of your desk as she sits on the edge.

“What’s this for?” You ask. You push back so that you can look down at the box.

“Tony’s having a party,” Ah. There it is. “I want you to come.”

“Darcy, I can’t.” You groan. It’s not like you want to. “Keith wants us to have dinner with his parents that night. They’ll be in town.”

“So, bring them,” Darcy says in a duh tone. At your skeptical look, she resorts to begging. “Tony won’t care. I’ll tell him I cleared them. Keith may be a bit stiff but he loves a good party. His parents won’t complain about partying with a billionaire. Then if they’re happy enough you can avoid questions about having another kid or why you aren’t getting married.”

“What are you getting out of this?” You ask Darcy. She’s kind of your best friend these days.

“A right-hand woman that can drink me under the table if she so pleases,” You raise your brow. Even though she’s right she wants something more. “Okay, I need you to set me up with Steve. I know you two are like besties now and he’s not biting my bait so I need an in.”

“Steve and I aren’t besties,” You grimace at the term.

“But you hang out with him,” Darcy tilts her head.

“I do,” You confirm.

“That makes him your best friend beside me,” Darcy traces her nails along with the donut box. “Unless you’re planning some elaborate thing to keep him for yourself.”

“No, I’m not,” You shake your head. “Besides it’s not him I’m looking at if I were interested in an Avenger…”

“Who are you looking at?” Another voice startles you both as you whip your head around to see Natasha Romanoff standing behind Darcy. Her arms are folded and she sports a look of amusement. How long had she been standing there? Darcy recovers quickly and joins in on Natasha’s curiosity. She steps around the desk so that you’re both facing the Widow. She raises a brow urging you to continue.

You fumble for an answer.

“Barnes?” Natasha guesses and you immediately shake your head.

“Nah,” You frown.

“Sam? He’s nice.” Darcy takes a guess. Again you shake your head.

“Those are two very masculine choices,” You explain. You can’t believe you’re even entertaining them with this. You’re in a committed relationship. It’s just gossip, right?

“So, Wanda?” Natasha throws out. At your blush, she can tell she’s gotten warmer but you won’t admit it. “She’s pretty and smart.”

“It’s not Wanda,” You clear your throat before hurriedly stuffing a donut into your mouth. It’s not even one you like. It has chocolate and sprinkles and overall too much sugar. Darcy’s eyes widen as she seems to catch up before Natasha does. Which is saying something. Darcy squeals before looking between the two of you. You move to pinch her thigh and she yelps.

Natasha eyes her curiously. Oh. She unfolds her arms and it’s her turn to blush.

“I’m flattered.”

“Yeah,” You nod. “It’s nothing you have to worry about.” You shake your head.

“It’s okay, plenty of people have had crushes.” Natasha shrugs. “Besides, I don’t think you could handle me.” She leans in close to say this. She looks directly into your eyes and finds delight in the way your breath hitches. Truth be told it sounds like a challenge. One that has you curious but you don’t say anything further.

Natasha pulls back at the sound of your phone ringing. Why is she here again?

You grab your phone before looking at her apologetically. Darcy takes a donut out of the box as she leans over your shoulder to look into your phone. It’s a photo message of Kaia at the park. She’s playing in the grass while smiling widely at the camera.

“Oh, the kid is so cute,” Darcy coos. “When am I going to be able to squeeze those cheeks again?” Natasha’s back straightens at the mention of the little girl. You realize she’s never gotten to see her. You turn your phone for her to see the picture. Her eyes light up though she makes no other move.

“Cute.” She says. Without another word, she leaves you two to head for the elevators.

“What even was that?” You ask as the doors close.

“Natasha being Natasha,” Darcy dismisses. “Though I sense some major attraction. If I were into chicks I’d be all up on that.”

“Yeah,” You shake your head. You weren’t reading too much into it. Natasha is a spy. She’s a master of manipulation. She’s flirty. You’ve seen her do the same thing to Sam or Bucky whenever she wants something out of them. It’s just how she operates. What could she want from you?

******************

The party is the next time you see Natasha. It’s a bit fancier than you thought. It’s more of a gala than a party. Everyone’s dressed so fancily. They’re dressed like money. It makes you a bit uncomfortable but you’re here to support Darcy and the rest of the team. They received Humanitarian awards earlier in the night after stopping another alien attack in some country. Now with the after-party being in the tower, you feel a bit better. This place you know.

You’re here with Keith, and his parents, Lorraine, and Paul. You’re showing them a good time. Everyone is mingling and drinking to their heart's content. Keith has his arm wrapped around you as you talk with Rhodey about one of his military stories. It’s the first time you’re hearing it but it’s an interesting one.

He’s in the middle of the story when Natasha sidles up to his side. She’s wearing a daring pink dress that has a plunging neckline, feathered hem, and a thigh-high slit. It’s pretty and you admired it when she first entered the party. It’s teetering on inappropriate but it looks so damn good on her. Rhodey greets her before continuing his story. She grins, having heard the story before, saying his punch line before he does. Rhodey looks at her with disapproving eyes before breaking into a laugh. She stole his thunder.

“Hello, Natasha Romanoff,” Natasha introduces herself. She shakes Lorraine and Paul’s hands. They sing their praises to her. They’re admittedly a bit star-struck. She’s amused by it as they question her on her fighting abilities. She answers the questions with ease.

“I am curious if you have any weapons on you now,” Paul questions with a glance down her body. “Where would you hide them?” You follow his gaze. You remember the day in the lounge where she grabbed at her pants leg. You have no doubt she has a knife taped to her thigh or something. Could she hide a gun there too? Natasha’s painted lips pull into a smile.

“A lady never tells,” She whispers to him.

“I do love your dress,” Lorraine comments. “It’s very beautiful.”

“Thank you,” Natasha smiles. “Though I think, y/n’s dress is stunning too.” Oh. All eyes are on you as she compliments you. What was that about?

Your eyes travel down your own body. It’s a bit simpler. It’s black. Form-fitting with its split. Your neckline is higher but you’re showing a bit of cleavage. You like the dress enough.

“I think on the right body, it can be,” Keith says offhandedly. Natasha’s smile disappears.

“The right body?” Natasha’s voice is dangerously low. You shake your head. It’s not worth arguing over.

“Oh, I see what you mean,” Lorraine joins in. “Y/n is still sporting a bit of baby weight so we don’t see the full potential.”

“I think the full potential has been shown,” Natasha raises a brow.

“Maybe she could work out with you?” Lorraine asks for you. You can’t quite believe it but you’re used to it. It’s not the worst thing she’s said to you.

“Is that what, y/n, wants to do?” Natasha looks to you for answers. You shrug. You’re not opposed to it but you didn’t think there was anything wrong with your body. “I think it’s beautiful. Her body. She did give birth just a year ago. I would think you’d offer a bit of grace to her considering.”

“Oh, of course,” Lorrain agrees not wanting to piss Natasha off. Though you figure it’s a bit too late. Before anyone can say anything else, Natasha walks away. You’re all left with the awkwardness of the moment. Darcy chooses this moment to approach you.

“Hi, I need, y/n, for a second.” Darcy excuses the both of you to pull you over to the bar. You wave in apology as Keith releases you. You look at Darcy questioningly. “Steve is over there. He’s alone. Go hype me up. Don’t do too much where he thinks I’m desperate but do it enough where he knows I want him.”

You narrow your eyes. Message received. You leave Darcy to go and talk to Steve.

“Hey, y/n,” He smiles.

“Where’s your phone?” You ask him. He looks confused but pulls it out anyways. “Darcy Lewis, my friend over there, Thor’s friend. She wants to climb you like a tree. Preferably tonight.” It’s the opposite of what Darcy asked you to do but the look on Steve’s face is so satisfying. “Call her.” You pass him his phone back before turning around to Darcy. You give her a thumbs up across the room. She smiles back at you. A win for her. She could thank you later.

It’s sometime later and the party has no signs of ending just yet. Everyone has paired up while Keith’s parents have gone home. You’re both huddled in the hallway, talking heatedly, as he accuses you once again of wanting to sleep with Steve. His breath is hot. He’s drunk. Your back is pressed against the wall as he stands over you. There’s no one on this side of the lounge and you’re sure he chose this hallway purposely.

“Why do you act like that?” He questions.

“Like what, Keith?” You sigh exasperatedly. You were growing tired of this. “I’ve done nothing. I entertained your family tonight. I endured them insulting me. They don’t like me you know that. Now you’re here again accusing me of wanting to sleep with Steve. I’m here with you.”

“So act like it,” He pokes his finger against your chest. “You’ve been ignoring me most of the night.”

“I haven’t,” You argue back. “I’ve been mingling. I told you we could stay home, Keith.”

“I was trying to do something good for you,” Keith grips your chin so that you can look at him. “Let’s go home.”

“I’m not ready,” You tell him. You would like to stay for just a little longer. You’re enjoying yourself despite his hangups.

“The team doesn’t like me,” Keith tells you. “What did you tell them?”

“What? I didn’t tell them anything.” You remove his hand from your face.

“You’re lying,” He grits through his teeth. He grips your forearm this time as he pushes you into the wall further. “You lie all the time. What did you tell them?”

“Keith,” You whimper. It hurts. His hands aren’t gentle or loving. Not right now. “Let me go.”

“Tell me,” He’s menacing as he dips his face closer to yours. “You know. Never mind. We’re going home. You can call and tell them you quit in the morning.”

“Fuck, do you know how crazy that sounds?” You say despite his grip on your arms. “You’re angry because you think I’m fucking someone I’m not. Do you hear yourself? I’m not sleeping with him. I’m here with you. Let me go, Keith.” His grip only tightens. Despite his inebriation, he’s well coordinated.

“She asked you to let her go,” A voice says from behind him. Keith’s grip loosens but he doesn’t let go of your arm. You peek around his frame to find Darcy and Natasha. Your cheeks flood with embarrassment at them finding you like this. Finding you so weak.

“We were just having a discussion,” Keith speaks first. He swipes s a hand over his face. Natasha’s eyes flicker to yours. “We’ll go home now.” You whimper again. You quickly try to hide it but she’s heard it.

“She’s staying with me tonight,” Natasha says. “We were having a sleepover.” She doesn’t address his hands on you. She can see the pleading in your eyes for her not to. You don’t want to fight right now.

Keith doesn’t say anything as he weighs the situation. There’s no way he would ever consider fighting with Natasha. She’s everything you’re not. Brave. Fearless. Strong.

“Fine,” Keith shakes his head.

“No, I can, go.” You speak up.

“Y/n?” Darcy questions.

“No, I’m fine,” You promise them. “Kaia is home and I want to tuck her in.”

“Are you sure?” Natasha’s gaze doesn’t waver. She doesn’t want to let you go home with him.

“I’m sure. I’ll be okay.” You assure them both though you’re not so sure yourself. You nod before following Keith out to the elevators. The two women watch you walk away. They don’t notice the tears in your eyes or the way you tremble as the doors close.

Keith decides on an Uber home. He’s silent the entire time. He relieves Maureen for the night while you go straight for Kaia’s room. You watch her as she sleeps. She’s safe in here. You’re safe in here. He won’t come in and you dread going out.

You’re not afraid of him. You’re not. Not now.

Finally, you muster up the courage to leave her room. You walk slowly to your bedroom where Keith is sitting on the edge of the bed. He’s crying. Why is he crying?

“I hate when you make me do that to you,” He admits. “Why can’t you just listen?” He asks.

“I’m sorry,” You apologize. What for? You don’t know.

“You’re not going to leave me are you?” He asks.

“I’m not going to leave you,” You assure him. You come to sit on the bed next to him. Everything in your body is screaming at you not to.

“You don’t have to go back there,” He begins. “If you quit I wouldn’t feel like this. The problems started when you started working there. It’s just… I’m afraid. That you’ll leave.” You knew this already. Though the problems started way before this. He turns to you suddenly. He can see the light bruises on your arms. “I’m sorry,” He slides off the bed to sit on his knees.

You don’t want to quit your job. You don’t want to quit the only thing that keeps you sane.

“You still love me?” He asks with those big brown eyes. The same ones you fell in love with all those years ago.

“I still love you,” You whisper back. You don’t know how much you believe those words anymore. He rests his hands on your knees before spreading your legs. He’s using sex as an apology again and you’re falling for it. When his nose nudges your clit through your panties you lean back to lose yourself in the sensations. When his calloused hands grip your thighs to bring you to the edge of the bed a gasp leaves your lips. When he finally removes your panties you allow yourself to think of something else. For the first time, you think of someone else.

Red tresses. You imagine her hands holding you still. You imagine the way her lips would feel as they kiss your inner thighs. You imagine that’s it’s Natasha here and not him. A single tear leaves your eyes as you climax.

Did you deserve what you’ve been getting?

**************************************

You quit the next morning. You don’t even show up to pack up your desk. You ignore Steve’s messages and Darcy’s texts. Sam’s Instagram DMs are left unopened. Your only friends in the city are being ignored. You don’t want to cause any more problems with Keith. You stay home with Kaia. She’s the highlight of most of your days as you walk with her around the neighborhood every day. Today it’s getting colder so you’re bundled up while you walk. It’s the only place he’ll allow you to go.

Kaia is playing with her stuffed bear in her stroller as you walk aimlessly down the street. She’s warm and the extra blanket covering her legs is more than enough. You don’t notice she’s dropped her toy until she’s crying for it. She whines, whirling in her stroller to reach for the toy when you notice.

“Mama,” Kaia cries. You stop to see it’s gone. Damn it.

You turn to go back for it when a familiar figure stands in front of you. She’s holding the bear pushing it towards you wordlessly.

“Natasha,” You say. You take the bear, passing it back to Kaia, before looking back to the woman before you. Her green eyes watch the toddler curiously.

“You’re okay?” Natasha asks you. She trails her eyes away from the little girl over to you.

“I’m fine,” You assure her. She eyes you up and down as if she can see through your layers of clothing. You want to question how and why she’s on this side of town but you know better. She’s been following you. How long? You don’t know.

“Let me take you for hot chocolate,” Natasha suggests before you can walk away. At your skeptical look, she tries again. “Just one cup.”

You fidget in place before a wave of anger washes over you.

“Why?” You find yourself asking. “I’m not a basket case. I’m not someone you can save.”

“I’m your friend and I miss you.”

“Bullshit,” You tell her. “We’ve only spoken a handful of times. Not without any of the other team around.”

“I’m trying now,” Natasha counters. She eyes Kaia again. “Does he hurt her?”

Jesus!

“How dare you?” You ask. She’s not far off from her guesses. It’s not a radical question. You know it’s not. You’re still offended at her questioning. How could she think you would ever allow him to hurt her?

“He hits you right?” Natasha accuses.

“I’m done,” You turn the stroller in the direction of home. You’re not having this conversation. You didn’t want to have this conversation. Not with her.

“Y/n, please,” Natasha begs this time. “We’re worried about you. It was either me or the team would come looking for you.”

“You didn’t tell them?” You stop. You don’t look at her. Too ashamed.

“No, dorogaya, I didn’t,” Natasha promises. You ignore the nickname she uses for you.

“One cup,” You turn. She nods. Just one cup.

******************

The cafe is one you’ve been to a few times. This time of day it’s empty. Everyone is either at work or school. They’re doing something with their lives. You help Kaia out of her coat so that she doesn’t overheat as you and Natasha sit towards the back of the diner. She’s already at the counter ordering your food while you wait. You insisted that you weren’t hungry but she’s Natasha. She cares about you.

It's hard to think about. Her caring. You shrug your coat off and allow it to hang on the back of your chair. You watch as she carries the muffins over to your table. She gives you a finger, asking you to wait, and she grabs the hot chocolate mugs too. She got chocolate milk for Kaia. The toddler takes it gratefully from her new friend. She drinks from the bottle happily.

“Oh, you’re such a big girl,” Natasha comments as she takes her seat across from you. Kaia beams at the praise. You watch how she interacts with the little girl. She’s gentle and loving. For a moment you wonder if she’s ever wanted to be a mom. Her line of work probably wouldn’t permit it. She’d be great at it.

“She likes you,” You inform her. Kaia is enamored with the other woman as Natasha engages in a game of peekaboo with her. It’s a drastic difference from the cold and aloof Avenger you used to see in the tower.

“Well, I like her too.” Natasha breaks the muffin in half to hand Kaia. Chubby hands grab onto the food and she places it in her mouth. Natasha places the muffin back on the plate before looking at you. “You look good.”

You give a half-hearted shrug.

“How are you?” Natasha asks.

“I’m fine,” You reply.

“Where is he?” Natasha asks.

“Working,” You tell her.

“Y/n, we miss you,” Natasha admits. There’s no sense in beating around the bush. “I came the next morning to your desk to see if you were still there.” You weren’t.

“I’m not anyone to miss,” You stare down into your mug. “I was just a temp.”

“A temp who became our friend,” Natasha ducks her head to catch your eye. “You can’t think that that’s all you are.”

“It doesn’t matter,”

“Doesn’t it?” Natasha replies.

“If you’re here to try and convince me to leave him I won’t.” You say.

“Won’t or can’t?”

“Nat,” You frown. “This isn’t some superhero business thing.”

“It doesn’t have to be,” Natasha sighs. “He hits you, y/n.”

“It’s not all the time,” You feel stupid immediately after saying it. “What you saw at the party. It was nothing.”

“It wasn’t the first time he’s put his hands on you like that.” Natasha sounds so sure of herself. “I saw the bruises on movie night. The ones on your back.” Shit.

“So,” You shake your head. “I take pilates.”

“Bullshit,” Natasha says firmly. “You don't have to lie to me. He hits you.” Why does she keep saying it?

“He loves me,” You say.

“He loves Kaia too,” Natasha looks down at the little girl in question. “What happens when he hits her too?”

“Natasha, he wouldn’t.” You frown. It’s a concern you’ve had. Keith would never. Right?

“But he can,” Natasha begins. “He can and he will. Y/n, you don’t have to stay with him.”

“Where would I go,” You bite your lip nervously. “He’s all I have.”

“He’s not,” Natasha says. “He’s never been all you have. Steve would love to have you. Sam would love to cook with you again. I’d like to have you.”

“I can’t,” You shake your head. “I can’t just leave him. I’m not strong like you. I don’t want to put you out. He’ll find me.”

“You don’t have to be strong like me,” Natasha doesn’t like the sound of that. “Also, he can try and I’d kill him.” You whimper. “I’m sorry but it’s the truth. If you think he’ll come to the tower he’s even more of an idiot than I thought. If you’re up to it, I can bring you to one of my safehouses. It’s still here in the city.”

“Natasha, you don’t have to.” You shake your head.

“Please, y/n, come with me.” Natasha pleads. Your heart is beating further in your chest.

“Look, I know we don’t know each other that well, but I’m still worried about you. No one deserves to be alone,” Natasha slides a phone out of her pocket. She passes it to you. “It’s a burner. Use it. When you need I’ll come to get you. No questions asked.”

“Why?”

“I care,” Natasha says.

“I have to go,” You stand. You hurriedly put on your coat and then Kaia’s. Natasha watches you as you leave.

Would she ever see you again?

----> next part

[yazthebookish]

This might be a bit long but the Gwynriel Reddit thread inspired me to let my thoughts flow about Gwyn and Azriel.

P.s. this will include some HOFAS spoilers.

I've said this before but SJM choosing to end Azriel's chapter with Gwyn is a choice. It's the beginnings and the endings of a chapter that authors tend to put a lot of thought into—so her ending the chapter which felt like her nudging readers' to Gwyn's direction is intentional.

Gwyn was not just a random addition, given their interactions throughout ACOSF their scene in the bonus chapter didn't feel out of place (even if readers' didn't expect to see her in it).

People try to invalidate the bonus chapter as much as they can but HOFAS had proved once again that they are important and canon (though I do think SJM and her publisher need to include these in the main books because they are crucial).

"You depend so much on a bonus chapter that a lot of readers don't have access to"

True but that doesn't mean the next book can't fill in the blanks because Azriel and Gwyn were already interacting in ACOSF, so having that romantic development in the next book (and the possible reveal that they're mates) + ON PAGE will still make it up for the readers that never read the bonus chapter. Like, CC4 will definitely bring up the fact that Ruhn and Lidia got married (despite it happening in a bonus).

I always considered the bonus chapter as a teaser for what will happen in the next book, Sarah confirmed she sprinkled little crumbs and I quote "I want to hear all your theories after you read the book and his [Azriel's] bonus scene, the crumbs have all been scattered, little bread crumbs everywhere" and it will keep readers guessing until the next book is out. So you won't know for sure how relevant or significant the bonus chapter is and the crumbs she scattered until you read the next book.

With that being said, Gwyn's cameo in the bonus chapter didn't come without some interesting clues: Azriel's shadows didn't warn him she was around, they were curious about her and she smiled at them, they danced and sang around her, Azriel revealed he sings because she asked, she thanked him with a smile and he felt settled even his shadows calmed.

We never saw his shadows react to anyone the way they did with Gwyn. They seem drawn to her, they danced, they sang, and while there are many theories about it but I absolutely do think if the shadows would be drawn to someone it would be Azriel's mate.

"Azriel and Gwyn had no romantic development and he didn't think about kissing her and all that"

But did every SJM couple start that way? No. And someone expressing the desire to kiss and hook up with someone is not always an indication of endgame (I can count multiple couples who kissed but weren't endgame).

The crumbs we had of them in ACOSF sets the groundwork for a romantic relationship to build in the next book—because who doesn't want to read about them both falling in love on page?

And yes, Sarah is capable of writing a love story from scratch in a single book (e.g., Tower of Dawn). Another example is how ACOMAF started with Feyre being in love with Tamlin and halfway through she started to really fall in love with Rhys.

The whole Azriel/Elain/Lucien triangle is messy as it is, so I don't think SJM would turn it into a square by inserting Gwyn. SJM could've chose not to give Gwyn and Azriel any ties in any way whether it was him rescuing her, him training the Valkyries, and again, including her in his own bonus chapter (hell even her boss:guardian Clotho made an appearance).

But she did and based on her pattern with her male love interests in particular, she doesn't really insert a new female or have females fight over the male love interest. I don't ever see Elain and Gwyn fight over Az, each might have an issue with Az on their own but do I see them argue with each other over Azriel? Absolutely not.

And if you look at the sequence of the scenes in his chapter, it gives a better idea of how it was planned:

1. Starts with Azriel reflecting on his loneliness while everyone left.

2. Elain shows up and they interact, Azriel gives her the necklace and they almost kiss.

3. Rhysand interferes and Az stops the kiss and tells Elain it was a mistake.

4. Az and Rhys argue and ends with Rhys ordering him to stay away from Elain and dismissing him.

5. Az leaves to the House of Wind wanting to work off the frustration but finds that Gwyn already occupied the training ring.

6. Gwyn and Az interact and he leaves the scene feeling settled down and his shadows calmed.

7. He wakes up, goes to the River House and finds Elain's necklace, he pockets it with the intention of returning it to the shop after the snowball fight.

8. Instead of the shop, he goes to the library to ask Clotho to give the gift to Gwyn and refuses to leave with it.

9. Going back and forth, Clotho eventually agrees and said she will tell Gwyn a friend gave it to her and she thanks Az for the joy it will bring to Gwyn.

10. Az leaves but the mention of Gwyn's joy sparked something in him that it brought a slight smile to his face, he buried the image in his chest where it glows quietly.

Both interactions with Elain and Rhys ended with him feeling miserable, but both interactions with Gwyn and Clotho ended with him feeling lighter and better—and to me that shows me how intentional SJM was with creating these parallels (including the shadows skittered back vs the shadows danced and sang).

Instead of Gwyn and Clotho we could've had Mor or Nesta or Amren, but SJM chose Gwyn and Clotho. Like, it could've ended after Rhys's argument but again, it's a writer's choice.

That's why no matter how many times I reread ACOSF my mind doesn't change much because SJM is not that subtle.

[accirax]

Chessgram Theory: Who is Kotoko Breaking?

While the object Kotoko is breaking in Deep Cover’s thumbnail is still certainly up for debate, many people (including myself) are of the belief that she’s snapped a white bishop from the game of chess. Given where Kotoko’s mental state is right now and what’s implied by the lyrics of Deep Cover, I think it’s likely that this MV’s theme will depict all of the prisoners as different chess pieces. Therefore, it’s worth asking: who is that? And, in a larger sense, which prisoners could be represented by which chess pieces?

Kotoko pretty clearly sees her situation as her and Es against the rest of the prison. So, I think that the characters would be divided as Kotoko and Es on one team, and everyone from 01-09 on the other. Kotoko is wearing black and appears to be breaking a white piece, so it’s pretty safe to assume that she and Es would be represented by the black pieces. It’s an interesting choice, given that, even to a non-Western audience, black can be considered a color of evil, and white a color of purity and truth. However, if the Es/Kotoko team is “mystery and anger” and the 01-09 team is “cold demeanors and death,” it fits well enough.

And that’s ignoring the most important part: in chess, the white team always moves first. This would fit with Kotoko’s vigilante worldview that everything she does is just a retaliation against others’ wrongdoing. The other characters attack first by sinning, and Kotoko is only picking them off before they can do any real damage to Team Warden.

Anyways, as for the pieces themselves, different websites seem to have slightly different opinions on what each piece can represent, with some obvious throughlines. I’ll be pulling quotes from these three articles, color coded according to which one is being used, which you can read more of if you wish. I’m also not a chess expert, so if I’m missing anything or got something wrong, I encourage you to add any of your own thoughts!

We’ll start with the Black Team, because there are fewer characters and I think it’s pretty obvious who’s who.

Kotoko Yuzuriha

Kotoko herself will probably be the black Queen. As anyone who’s played chess should know, your Queen is the most powerful piece in your arsenal because it can move on straights or diagonals for any distance.

The queen is our impulse to fight and possibly our id. It can argue based on beliefs. It can let loose and fight like a rook. It has no reason to hold back as a knight does and will often attack to the other side of the board just because it wants to.

This hyper-violent description of the Queen reminds me a lot of Kotoko. She attacks the other prisoners because, according to her beliefs, they’re criminals who deserve to be punished. Not to mention, the “id” is actually the same thing as the “es” in psychology. After we voted her innocent in the first trial, Kotoko became our teammate. She thinks that she’s the same as Es, so seeing herself as the “id” would fit perfectly with that self-assessment. Speaking of Es…

Es (and Jackalope?)

Es is most likely going to be the black King.

The king is not as powerful as the queen, but he is considered the most important piece that needs the most protection.

Even if Kotoko has more power than Es inside the prison, Es is still the one ultimately calling the shots. They’re the important piece who actually casts the votes that Kotoko can use to exact justice. The way that Es falls asleep between trials (or, at least, they did the first time) also reminds me of how the king can only move one space per turn, and often remains in the same square until closer to the end of the game.

The meaning of the Queen in the game of chess is she is plainly the closest support to the King and is often the second biggest (tallest) piece on the board, signifying her power and importance.

Es and Kotoko being the King and Queen together also opens them up to being assessed as a pair. They start the game next to each other, far across the board from the white pieces. If Es is the tallest, most notable piece in the prison, Kotoko isn’t far behind, acting as the King’s loyal fang.

I don’t know if any of the other pieces on the black team would have any sort of particular association. Maybe Jackalope could be the pawn that starts in front of the King (I think that’s the E pawn), so that he could hop out of the way on black’s first move to allow Kotoko to escape on a diagonal?

If I’m right about this theming, I also believe it’s possible that the black team would start only with the King and Queen. This would 1) make Kotoko and Es appear as rootable underdogs by having fewer pieces, 2) show how Kotoko is doing all of the work to defend justice, and 3) give Kotoko a lot of space to move around in from the start.

Now that we’re done with the black team, it’s time for the 01-09 White Team! Given that this side has many more main characters, there are several more possibilities to discuss here. I’ve settled on an answer for each of the prisoners, but there’s certainly room to be flexible with any of them.

Haruka Sakurai

Starting with Haruka… sorry, buddy, but I think you’re a Pawn.

Look, there are only eight pieces (not pawns) for each team on the board. If there are nine prisoners on the white team, at least one of them has to be a Pawn. And, especially through Kotoko’s account of the first Trial, Haruka wasn’t doing a whole lot. He didn’t get voted guilty, so she didn’t attack him, and he didn’t try to save any of the attacked prisoners, either. All he really did was get a new fit and align himself with Mu, someone who barely avoided being voted guilty in the first place.

There is a debate about whether the pawns are the peasants who live outside of the castle walls or are the soldiers protecting the royal court behind them.

Specifically, though, I think that Haruka would be the pawn that stands in front of Mu. Depending on which piece Mu is, it doesn’t have to work like this, but if you say that Pawn Haruka’s placement is basically a “if you want to attack her, you’ll have to get through me first,” that’s quite reminiscent of the threat he presented in his second audio drama.

Haruka also makes sense as a Pawn because he has a lot of potential. For anyone who doesn’t know, in chess, if a Pawn manages to make it to the other side of the board, they can transform into any other piece. Haruka’s quiet demeanor might let him slip under the radar, but if Kotoko takes her eye off of him for too long, he could wind up becoming a threat to the King (Es).

Haruka (VD2): “If you don’t forgive Mu-san, I’m going to kill you.”

In the audio drama, Es counters this plan by pointing out that, as a prisoner, Haruka cannot attack them. However, the sentiment is still there. Even if a Pawn doesn’t really stand a chance of attacking the King when Queen Kotoko is on the loose, there’s always the possibility that he could get too close and throw a wrench into Kotoko’s plans.

Yuno Kashiki

As for Yuno… well, we all know that she’s a Queen in general, but in chess, I don’t think that argument really holds up. Yuno really just isn’t… relevant? enough? to the conflicts of the prison as a whole (at least where Kotoko is involved) to be represented by such an important piece. But, if Yuno isn’t the Queen, what would she be…?

Personally, I think she would be a Rook.

The rook is brute force. It is a disregard to beliefs.

Simply put, Yuno is a Rook because she’s a pretty straightforward person. That’s not to say that she doesn’t lie, of course– her whole t1 attitude seems to have been a bit of an act, and that one section in the middle of Tear Drop makes it pretty obvious that Yuno conceals her true feelings on order to better please her customers sometimes– but that, in the end, Yuno always does what she wants. If she wants to barge forward or cut across the entire board sideways, she’ll do it. She often keeps to herself, just like how enemy pieces wouldn’t want to get directly in front of the Rook for fear of being curb stomped.

Back to her t1 attitude, though…

The rook is the castle, the walls, the protectorate of the city, and in being so, is the only piece not representative of a living thing.

While most sources attribute the Rook’s walls to protecting the other important pieces, Yuno’s walls protect herself. Yuno’s Castle keeps her true self locked behind cold and stony walls, giving her freedom from making any attachments.

Futa Kajiyama

Futa is a Knight because… he’s, uh, literally a knight.

The knight pieces are the protective knights in the castle. The pieces are shaped like a horse because it is symbolic of what knights rode during battle.

It doesn’t always have to be that deep. (/j)

Actually, though, there are other reasons to call Futa the Knight– possibly some of the same reasons why the Milgram creative team decided to make one of his MVs themed after fantasy RPGs in the first place.

The knight represents the pure inner-warrior. If a knight starts out passive, it will always end up aggressive and vice versa. It can't move very far, but it never moves in a straight line, always preferring to be tactical and thoughtful.

Futa definitely seems to cycle between aggressive and passive. He passively lived his life as a regular guy until he unleashed his aggression and became a cyberbully. That aggression fueled him until he learned of his victim’s death, at which point he shut down and seemed to become more passive and introspective again. Arriving in Milgram triggered his aggressive tendencies, but getting voted guilty and losing an eye for it triggered his passive terror. At the time of his second audio drama, it seems like he’s returned to aggressively questioning Es again, and it remains to be seen whether he keeps that attitude into t3 or if something happens that once again makes him lose his footing (or die).

Mu Kusunoki

Much like Yuno, Mu also has an argument for being called the Queen– more so than Yuno, considering her strong Queen Bee coding in It’s Not My Fault and the titles of both of her audio dramas– but also falls short in the “being opposed to Kotoko” department. Although Haruka certainly looks to her for leadership, I can’t imagine Kotoko actually considering Mu a serious enough threat to put Mu on the same level as herself.

So again, like Yuno, I think Mu might be the other Rook. Mu also displayed a very “whatever I say goes” attitude in INMF, so she can share the same rhetoric behind Yuno being represented by that piece. The logic behind the castle aspect is slightly different, though.

Every country or medieval estate would have its royalty who were protected within the walled city or castle.

Mu is a rich, half-European girl whose dad sells real estate. Of course she would be represented by the Castle! Mu’s tactics involve consolidating her power in order to lead from a place above it all, exactly like how a castle looks over the rest of the village. Additionally, I can’t find the source of whoever pointed it out first, but I’ve seen it mentioned that the dress Mu wears in her birthday art is a reference to the one that Belle wears in Disney’s interpretation of Beauty and the Beast. It’s a fairytale with a princess (and perhaps someday, a queen), yes, but it’s specifically one where the heroine is trapped within a castle. Making Mu into a Rook would be a great way to keep up her royal theming, while leaving the Queen for a character a bit more powerful and relevant to Kotoko.

(Going back to Haruka for a moment, this would make him specifically the A or H pawn.)

Shidou Kirisaki

I really thought that Shidou might have more competition for the role of King, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that nobody fit the role quite as well as he did.

Shidou is the perfect balance of a piece who’s very problematic for Kotoko’s win condition, while also not being much of an active threat himself. There are very low odds that Shidou would ever actually try to harm Kotoko directly or get in her way to divert an attack. However, as long as he’s alive, Kotoko can’t win, because Shidou can keep attempting to heal all of the pieces Kotoko tries to eliminate. That’s not something that the King piece can actually do in a chess game, but hopefully you get my point.

Additionally, Triage let us know that Shidou is a family man. While the white Queen will obviously not be representative of Shidou’s deceased wife, and not every other prisoner would enjoy living under his reign (cough cough Amane), the optics of him being the “head of the family” are obviously there. It’s a pretty bad look if the white King starts the game by pleading with the black King to give him the death penalty, but… Well, at least Shidou changed his mind.

Mahiru Shiina

Not to answer the theory’s main question so early into the post, but… I think Mahiru is a white Bishop. Specifically, the one that Kotoko could be snapping in half in the thumbnail.

As far as I can remember, barring Undercover, Milgram’s MVs have only shown us things that have happened in the past. There are some things that could kind of hint at the future (like Shidou’s “So hey, prolong my life / I’m indispensable” in Triage) or depict prisoner’s fears of the future (like Futa potentially being afraid that Es could declare him guilty again at the end of Backdraft). But, I think that every instance of something like that happening could be explained as something that the character did or thought about in the past as well. That might be wrong, as I don’t want to take the time to write out how everything that appears like it could be in the future is actually in the past, but it sounds right to my memory.

My point being, while the snapped bishop could be indicative of Kotoko’s plans to crush someone in the future, if the chess pieces do represent characters, it makes far more sense if her smashing the white bishop is something that already happened in the past. Thus, it would probably be one of the three characters that Kotoko attacked in the past: Futa, Mahiru, or Mikoto.

Of the three options, I think Mahiru fits the role of bishop best.

The bishop is your belief structure. This is why a bishop that starts on white, will always be on white and vice versa for the black bishop.

While not a particularly religious person, Mahiru is someone who lives and dies based on her beliefs about the value of love. No matter what happens to her, she always keeps her same perspective, believing that love is the entirety of who she is and the only thing that’s worth living for. It’s how firmly she clung to those beliefs that sent her to Milgram, and her lack of awareness regarding her actions that got her voted guilty. AKA, Mahiru’s Bishop-like beliefs are exactly what sent her to be crushed in Kotoko’s palm.

To the extent that the blood in the thumbnail is the Bishop’s and not Kotoko’s, Mahiru was also the most grievously injured of the prisoners in between trials. I saw people joking that the thing Kotoko was crushing was “Mahiru’s bones,” and, like… maybe you’re not entirely wrong? 

I hope that you continue reading the post to hear my thoughts on the last three prisoners. But, if you are tapping out here… uhhhh, 0610 enjoyers, go crazy with this one.

Kazui Mukuhara

When I started theorizing for this post, I really thought that I was going to make Kazui the Queen to Shidou’s King. The two of them are pretty close, so the idea of Kazui being Shidou’s guardian makes total sense. And, most importantly, Kazui was the one to actually intercept and divert Kotoko’s attack on Futa. He’s been established as the most muscular prisoner in Milgram, on par with someone like Kotoko, which is perfect for him being the Queen!

Wellllll… I changed my mind and decided to make Kazui a Knight anyway.

There are a lot of good arguments for Kazui being a knight too, okay? After Cat, it’s pretty clear that Kazui was once a police officer. Thus, being a member of the castle guard would be a good match for his choice of career. They’re also probably the most traditionally “manly” piece, representative of an armed man on a horse, and Kazui tries very hard to be manly.

Knights can also hop over other pieces, much like how Kazui jumped into the fight between Kotoko and Futa. In fact…

Never underestimate [the Knight] for its limited range. It’s known as the "Queen Killer" for a reason!

Knights are often a good piece to use to attack Queens because of their unique L-shaped movement pattern. Unlike every other piece, they can attack the Queen from a position that can’t be immediately reversed upon them. Thus, Kazui’s ability to beat Kotoko could be an indicator of this “Queen Killer” quality, instead of the innate power of being a Queen himself. (This logic applies to Futa as well: he can attack Kotoko from the unique angle of appealing to Es’ morals and own sense of justice. Kotoko can’t do the same because, unlike Futa, she has yet to outwardly acknowledge that her murder could have been anything less than righteous.)

Also… the Knight is the only piece that doesn’t move in a straight line. Get it? The Knight doesn’t move straight? And that represents Kazui? Because Kazui is–

Amane Momose

Amane is the other Bishop because… religion.

The bishop stands close to the king and queen because it represents the church which many royal courts held near and dear to their hearts.

The Bishop represents the church, an important and very powerful entity throughout history and even today if you think about it.

Again, not everything has to be a reach. (/j)

So… yeah, Amane’s beliefs– specifically religious beliefs, this time– are also a huge part of her life. Even if she’s changed what the cult’s doctrine means to her, she still confesses that she carried out her murders for the sake of what her religion considers right and wrong.

This is also considered the third most powerful piece on the chessboard because back in the day religion could influence many people, even without the help of the royal family.

Not so much for Mahiru, but this sentiment also fits Amane pretty well! Between the threats of potential conversions and potential assassinations, Amane was definitely one of the prisoners to watch heading into t2. From what I’ve heard, the main reason why her vote was so down to the wire was mostly because people were afraid of the power that Amane held.

Interestingly, this would put another prisoner who was voted guilty in contention for the piece that Kotoko is crushing. However, I still think it’s more likely that that piece would be Mahiru, because Kotoko didn’t physically attack Amane. If it were Amane, it would more likely be that her beliefs were crushed as opposed to her bones, but… I don’t really think that really happened, either. Amane would almost certainly be a bishop, though, so there’s certainly a possibility that that broken piece could be her.

Mikoto/John Kayano

With only one prisoner left to go, you may have already come to the conclusion that Mikoto is the white Queen. And… yeah, I can’t really deny that at this point. Like I said, I wanted to make Kazui the Queen, but I couldn’t otherwise figure out what Mikoto would be.

Because, there’s one main thing that makes me think that Mikoto has to be the Queen… John’s lack of restraints.

She is allowed to move in any direction and in as many squares as she wants.

Due to the whole situation with John not technically being a prisoner, when John is the alter in charge, John cannot be restrained, even when voted guilty. That makes him very powerful; no matter what he does, we can’t use a guilty vote to try to stop him, much like many people hoped to do with Haruka when voting him guilty in t2. The Queen can visit any square, no matter whether it’s black or white, upright or reversed, Mikoto or John. Choosing any other piece that was constrained to a much more limited set of movement rules just felt off for him.

Next, while Kazui was able to defeat Kotoko and save Futa, the fight between John and Kotoko was a draw. That means that they are also evenly matched– perfect for both being the same kind of piece. Mikoto isn’t as close to Shidou as Kazui is (anymore, I think?), but they were at least smoking club buddies, so calling Mikoto the Queen to Shidou’s King isn’t the most ridiculous proposition.

Finally, making Mikoto the Queen, a very feminine piece, is super interesting in the context of people discussing how Mikoto is often associated with stereotypically feminine roles and the girl prisoners (oboetemasuka | candckirby | purgemarchlockdown). I don’t have a whole lot else to say on this matter considering these weren’t points of Mikoto’s characterization I originally noticed myself, but I encourage you to read these posts to get a taste of what I’m talking about. I’m sure there were other posts discussing it too, but… it’s so hard to find things on Tumblr ;-;

Conclusion

Finally, we’ve been through every prisoner! Here’s a summary of what I decided on (left or right side doesn’t matter):

The funny thing about this theory is that it could be fully disproven wrong in, like, a week, if either 1) that wasn’t a chess piece at all, or 2) the chess pieces obviously represent something else. For instance, the chess board could fully relate to, you know, Kotoko’s actual murder and not what she got up to in between trials. We are supposed to get more actual evidence regarding that too, aren’t we…?

Still, if it turns out that the chess board does represent Milgram, I will get the full satisfaction of having called it ahead of time, even if my assignments aren’t 100% correct. No matter what, I had fun thinking about it, which is (in my opinion) the highlight of theorizing! If you have anything else to add, I encourage you to communicate your thoughts in comments, tags, or reblogs. If you don’t, then I simply thank you for reading this far!

Deep Cover… soon.

[hedgehog-moss]

Loved your mentioning of learning poetry by heart: this is something I haven’t done since school! What are some of your favs that you’d suggest to ease my brain back into it?

(Française ici donc les options 🇫🇷 autant que anglais sont welcome :) merci!)

Hi :) You can look at the poem tag of my quote blog if you want—some of the ones I've learnt by heart (or excerpts from them) include this one by Sara Teasdale - Nanao Sakaki - Velimir Khlebnikov - Wallace Stevens - Rabindranath Tagore - Archibald Macleish - Howard Nemerov - and these paragraphs by Henri Peña-Ruiz which I consider prose poetry... My favourite French verses (from Corneille, Aragon, Anna de Noailles, Hugo, Valéry...) are all alexandrines and I find it to be the easiest type of verse to remember, as the structure is so rigorous and consistent. I sometimes translate English poems into alexandrines (like this one) to make them easier to learn in this more familiar form—I think even after all this time English prosody still feels foreign to me; the patterns of sound and rhythm in French are more deeply embedded in my brain so it can more easily predict what comes next...

Re: easing your brain into it, I guess that depends on your style of learning? For me the best way to learn a text is to spend time with it in written form, be it by translating it, or by writing it down by hand (slowly) and then (sometimes) keeping it for a while in a place where I often stand idle, like taped to my microwave so I re-read it as I wait 1 minute for something to heat up.

One thing I like about learning poems is that it's a costless, always-accessible way to get a sense of personal accomplishment. Beyond that, I've got three categories of poems I like to learn for different reasons—I'll go into some detail in case it can help you figure out what you're after :)

1. Classic poetry, because it's just fun to have little snippets of ancient tragedies or epic Victor Hugo poems living at the back of your mind and accompanying you through your own everyday tragedies—as an overdramatic person who tends to feel devastated or exasperated over tiny stuff, it helps me to take some distance from my feelings. Like if I spill a bucket of manure on my boots and my first reaction is rage and despair and my second thought is a couple of verses by Euripides where Iphigenia bemoans her relentless fate, it's a way to make fun of (and get over) myself.

My grandmother did this a lot, she knew so many poems by heart and often used them ironically. If I went whining to her when I was little she'd recite to me the last few verses of Alfred de Vigny's La Mort du Loup (it sounds better in the original but):

[...] With all your being you must strive To that highest degree of stoic pride [...] Weeping or praying—all this is in vain. You must instead shoulder your long and heavy task In the way that Destiny has seen fit to ask Then suffer and die without complaint.

(Let me tell you, that's just what a five-year-old wants to hear after scratching her knee at the park) But really I admired this treasury of poetry she carried within her, especially as she only went to school until age 14 and came upon most of it thanks to her own curiosity; as well as the way she used it playfully in everyday life, using dramatic classical verse to de-dramatise minor annoyances.

2. Nature poems are great in the opposite way, to magnify minor positive things :) Like seeing a fox and having a few lines by Mary Oliver come to mind, seeing a frog and thinking of that Basho haiku... I recently discovered Jean-Michel Maulpoix and I also love his nature poems, like 'The recovery of blue after a downpour', the way he describes snow melting in the spring, or golden-blue evenings:

[Snow] takes some time to leave, but delicately. She doesn’t insist, hardly persists, never roots… She gives way. No one else dies so merrily With such good humour Unmatched is her disdain for eternity…

L’azur, certains soirs, a des soins de vieil or. Le paysage est une icône. Il semble qu’au soleil couchant, le ciel qui se craquelle se reprenne un instant à croire à son bleu.

3. And then there are the poems that proudly serve no purpose. <3 I mean beyond distilling language in a beautiful way. No deep meaning—or no meaning at all, e.g. surrealist poetry. I learnt this passage from Les Champs magnétiques back in middle school:

La fenêtre creusée dans notre chair s'ouvre sur notre cœur. On y voit un immense lac où viennent se poser à midi des libellules mordorées et odorantes comme des pivoines. Quel est ce grand arbre où les animaux vont se regarder ? Il y a des siècles que nous lui versons à boire. . . Prisonniers des gouttes d'eau, nous ne sommes que des animaux perpétuels. . . Nous ne savons plus rien des astres morts ; nous regardons les visages. . . Quelquefois, le vent nous entoure de ses grandes mains froides et nous attache aux arbres découpés par le soleil.

—and I've often recited it to myself just to enjoy these gratuitously nice sentences that aren't here to deliver information. Like Kay Ryan said, "Poetry makes nothing happen. That's the relief of it." It's a nice break, a way to remember that communicating isn't all language is for; beyond the social dimension there's also an intimate one that relies on our own aesthetic sensitivity. Most of the time we look through language, to access ideas, meanwhile enjoying poetry means looking at language, for a change, appreciating it for itself.

I just realised I'm paraphrasing John Brehm here—in The Poetry of Impermanence he wrote something that can be read as an ode to learning things by heart:

When you read lines that seem especially lit up—that move or intrigue you in some way, or that are simply pleasing or even dazzling—don’t focus on being able to formulate a statement about what they might mean, as if you might be called upon to explain the poem, to yourself or to someone else. Just linger with those poems or passages that resonate with you. . . Rest your mind on them; let them live inside you.

[minerwarfare-suzuya]

Ask box response

This post is a follow up to the previous reblog post to update what's going between me and Cagney alongside other associates in the group that I have departed from a while back.

During the afternoon I just received a response from one of the group members yesterday which I will respectfully keep anonymous but I think only a handful of people will know who it is regardless of the edited screenshot when reading further on this post.

We'll be taking this interaction step by step to construct some criticisms, make statements and opinions of the overall message.

Here's the first half of the message sent to my inbox:

One thing to clarify is that I'm not being dense when I know that the group and you included, tend to nitpick at a lot of things. I was aware prior to what were the few reasons for being cut off before the announcement of my departure given the tension between the group conversations in the private community.

Now that's not to say that there wasn't a good point made for kicking me out!

Especially given the number 1 point made on your list.

1. I won't lie that giving away crucial details and conversations within screenshots was something I did totally out of left field. I knew that it was against the community's group protocol which I did get chewed out for showing the screenshots to Zombify.

But-

If I had not gone back and forth between two groups then I wouldn't have been given crucial details from Blurry's end about him doing a Cease and Desist order onto the Moboxcritique/TheGoldFiles Blog along with Kevonica being the primary suspect of quote on quote "Harassment" or "Defamation". Meaning that if Blurry had sent you a Cease and Desist letter, you'd be given a warning and restricted from posting on the blog that mentions him which would've led to possibly going to court/legal actions if you had gone any further with the drama to criticize him more. Then there's a possibility that the blog as a whole would've been taken down prior to its deactivation if Blurry did go to court with Kevonica and the blog given how much he'd get the judge and the jury to side with him regardless of what was put against him on the Moboxcritique blog's documents, posts or archives to justify your actions from calling him out.

So, yes I fucked up in leaking the group's conversation but at a cost of knowing about the Cease and Desist order ahead of time until a mutual agreement was made to keep the Blurry drama under the rug.

Then of course, I shared this post revealing a recorded conversation between Anonymous123maybe/Tammy Tuna and Miles to show that Miles never changed. This was another thing I got chewed out for publicly sharing but it was from Kevonica this time.

But did Anonymous123maybe/Tammy Tuna mind?

No

Plus, Miles only proved our suspicions correct.

2. I don't know why you need to rub it in that you and the group you're associated with have been victims of abuse when I've been through a mentally abusive relationship prior. It's not a competition or comparison to be made and I can understand that we can all take a stand in getting ourselves out of abuse and have it be known or unknown. Either way, if this is a complaint for being in defense for Piaojun's artwork of William x Renata in our chats together or on my "Parting Ways" post then I don't wanna hear it but even if it's not. Then it's likely about my other post discussing the themes of Mobox87's art work.

So, let me put it out there as simple as I can get. On my draft script post "Understanding", we talked about domestic abuse being an often taboo theme projected in Mobox87's stories and visual illustrations. The key important details mentioned are what likely inspired her and how it's become a progressive cycle that it feels romanticized but most importantly that it's a sensitive topic that can still work with storytelling.

We can all agree that Mobox87 always makes the abuser superior in a majority of her stories and I get that in this harsh reality that it is true the victims tend to lose or not survive from domestic abuse but when it's a constant visual being shown with each different story variation told. It gets bothersome to the viewer and you question the morality of the person behind the story. So, it's completely understandable to be critical about it. Now for the theme of that to work in a story, you wanna project it in a way where it can appeal to the audience. Such as the victim surviving or getting out of the situation. Other cases would be showing the victim getting some moral support through the trauma of abuse.

I know that I mentioned the episode "Mad Love" from the 1997 "The New Batman Adventures" series, a follow show to "Batman The Animated Series" from 1992. I go over how Harley Quinn's relationship with The Joker and how it projects the abusive relationship very well to the audience as a way to educate the consequences of what happens between the abuser and the victim or a toxic relationship. Heck we even see in the Harley Quinn show that she practically leaves Joker after realizing she was only being used. Another good example would be in the show Steven Universe on the episode "Alone at Sea". Where Lapis tells Jasper that she doesn't want to be a part of their unhealthy relationship anymore which if you're aware of them being fused together under the ocean for a long time from watching previous episodes you'll get why she doesn't wanna go back and that projected the importance of asserting boundaries and leaving when someone is abusive towards you.

Anyways, let me rewind things back to "Romanticized abuse with your strange takes upon things". I wanna make this clear I DON'T romanticize abuse and you know DAMN well that I don't when I've made it clear on a few occasions when you shit talk about Piaojun behind their back that they have no intentions of wanting to project the characters William and Renata the way Mobox87 has done. Even if they did have, it was illustrations projected to tell it's story purposes between the characters crucial fate of relationships departing. Like I get the idea you don't like the ship and the same can be said with a bunch of other people in or outside your group but don't ever drag your battles upon someone else who doesn't wanna associate with the drama. Let alone DON'T BITCH about what someone is doing between two characters who they clearly want to change from their original story for the better. You don't dictate what others can or cannot do in art especially if that person is doing their own thing. If you can't agree with that then FUCK OFF. I have my own morals and mutual understanding that are common sense. I'm not going to judge someone and make publicity about it unless necessary. You should know better. YOU DO NOT SPEAK FOR THE ARTIST'S VISIONS AND DECISIONS THEY MAKE! Yes you can be critical but there's a limit and you are pushing it to your own judgements that are opinionative. So, get over it. No one does that to your own work and if people have then your just projecting that negativity onto others.

3. So, I wanna mention that YES I did force Cagney to reblog my post because I simply wanted a favor and if you or anyone had read the post "Parting Ways" you'd understand how frustrating it was to get them to post it. Like honestly you of all people should know that I've been supporting Cagney and Patty when I got involved in this drama when you reached out.

I literally reblogged posts when it came to talking about Mobox87, Nicole, Mobox87's brother SonicCrash, The FON game's process of dealing with its supposed virus issues, Mobox87's sales prices, Mobox87's harassment and especially topics about Miles! I shared heavy amounts of criticisms and gave out my opinion on things that Cagney would publicly post about while they gained more attention for it! So when I asked for the favor to help me with the situation about Arion the Kid/Blue's Journey that I was gonna go over with Red Radiant and others who were victims. I expected some help but instead I got the short end of the stick because-

Cagney didn't want to reblog my post or take part in it when it's about someone who is known in this Mobox87 community on the app "Amino" for sexually harassment minors who has continue to do so to this day on Discord!

Cagney and likely you along with the other associates would rather talk about petty SHIT involving Mobox87's comic series development or about Blurry's artwork than take on something far bigger and serious to discuss! I practically needed to force Cagney to reblog my post because I literally begged for it which resulted in Red Radiant and Andikai needing to back me up for wanting the Arion situation to be known!

Why should I have to be in a position where I'm like Oliver Twist begging for more food when it comes to a favor after I stick my FUCKEN neck out for you guys on drama topics!

Like-

How the fuck does Mobox87. A person we know who is controversial for a lot of things went out of her way to share a post about Arion?

https://www.tumblr.com/red-the-radiant-official/708998004953202688/hey-remember-that-guy-who-sent-you-those?source=share

Take note! She knew about this person long ago because I told her about them after she had a run in with them disturbing her Amino community back in 2019 when I used to moderate on her community!

Like yeah I get that it's one post she made in regards to the situation but you'd think that someone in Cagney's position. They would drag onto talk about this topic of Arion's manipulation and harassment like they do with other topics but-

No!

Instead they would rather talk about something petty and nitpick at the smallest issues because they were scared of being impersonated then went on hiatus after people misinterpreted their blog post about Piaojun. Just to only see that the rebranded blog "TheGoldFiles" now deactivated after months passing by.

Honestly, a lot would've benefited if they helped out more and kept pushing on talking about Arion as much as I did. Things would've been easier but instead I had to go out of my way to spread awareness of him following people on Tumblr in the Mobox87's fanbase when doing my document timeline.

https://www.tumblr.com/minerwarfare-suzuya/755834695937327104/just-confirm-with-you-all-that-i-have-police?source=share

Plus, I told Kevonica directly so that she would know.

You'd think at that point, Cagney would really need to touch up on the Arion topic by now but NO! Nothing said when brought to Kev's attention despite Cagney going on a hiatus.

I guess fuck awareness on a pedophile following people under our noses. ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

4. Okay... Now you're just poking the bear at this point and I wouldn't be surprised if you or someone in the group was the one who sent this anonymous message onto the second blog awhile back.

This topic about aging up a character is known to be a mixed opinion or controversial to some people. So, I'm just going to say this.

Like if an artist (like myself) made fanart of a character aged up preferably for a new narrative or head canon story and it's deemed not okay.

Then this isn't okay.

Now you're probably going to say this-

"Oh but it's not the same because the creator made them underage, you can't age them up cause it's not canon!"

My brother in Christ! You are delusional cause the creators themselves might as well catch a heat over aging their own characters. Quit complaining about fanon artists or illustrators for making their own ideas on a character as adults in their fanfiction for their changes in character development.

This is an exact argument I had with Miles about the Vinsnake drawing last year!

https://www.tumblr.com/minerwarfare-suzuya/732636849810669568/miles-ownership-drama-timeline-part-5?source=share

But oh wait!-

That's not the issue!

Yeah, apparently you and the group were "uncomfy" with the Affinity remake's rewrite since the characters were "sexualized".

Yeah cause it's MY remake and I draw attractive Men and Women. Deal with it! I've been developing and pre-establishing the story for a long time with it's characters who are still undergoing redesigns as my surviving casts and designing characters with mature designs suitable for what I pictured best in FNAF Affinity that Mobox87 made a mess out of when it came to ages and over all looks.

Plus!

It's been pinned on my second blog that my remake is going to be meant for older teens and adults with WARNINGS before reading! So, I am taking precaution!

So, if you consider it strange without realizing I've planned things two steps ahead then maybe YOU'RE THE PROBLEM.

The second half of the inbox message:

5. ...

Okay! How FUCKEN dare you stoop that low! That is full on low blow! This part in particular is what has me really up my ego!

How dare you compare Red to Arion! Red is a victim of his harassment over the years that has gone by! Which had been ongoing still during this year in 2024 so far!

Comparing the person who I'm representing online and to police for not just himself but for others online that have been harassed, groomed, blackmailed, impersonated, manipulated, traumatized and mentally abused to a FUCKEN Pedophile! A pedophile that Cagney doesn't have the balls to callout or constantly post about throughout everything that has happened to Red, me and the likes of others online!

You wanna compare Red to Arion? Just because of a character Red has developed and been in talks with me about being added into my Affinity remake with his story restructured to fit in with my own interpretation when I'm directing and producing FNAF Affinity the way I want it? Fuck You!

Like legit Fuck You! You don't even know what we have been dealing with and what we have been documenting about Arion. Just for you to make that comparison.

Go kill yourself! I'm dead ass serious just take your blade off choice and cut your wrist vertically. Go tie a noose and hang yourself. Get run-over by a truck.

HOW DARE YOU COME TO MY INBOX AND MAKE THAT COMPARISON TO A VICTIM OF A PEDOPHILE OVER A CREATIVE DECISION THAT I AGREED TO ADD IN MY OWN WORK THAT YOU LISTED AS AN ISSUE ON YOUR TOP 5 SHIT LIST!

It's like what I've said to you years ago. You don't think before you speak and this really does show.

Anyways, Cagney is still active online even if you claim she's barely online since she went out of her way to respond to my last post and you still archived one of Mobox87's latest videos even if you also claim to be taking a break from archiving. So, there is activity going on behind the scenes.

Top it off, don't go off saying "Stop acting holier than thou" as if I'm being superior to you or anybody for that matter when you're clearly the one in that position.

Besides that I'm not taking down any posts. So Fuck off.

You may claim that now you see my true colors but really it's you who has shown your true colors that afternoon. Be glad that I've kept your username covered because I don't want anyone harassing you or anybody coming after you. If anyone is going to say anything to you during this feud, it's me only or Red.

I may have gone off too extreme with what I said but I DO NOT CARE and I Won't Forgive Myself For it but FUCK it. You put this on upon yourself. Woe is you if I name drop Cagney on a post, get over it. I'm not going to give y'all the satisfaction of going back and forth.