#and the worst thing is the anxiety of not making it on time in the morning bc of the bathroom traffic in my house

[moonstruckme]

Pookie! I need you to write me something pretty please :)

Can you write Remus comforting a reader with an anxiety disorder when someone told them "there's nothing to be anxious about. You just want attention" ??? Pretty please?? Love you pookieeeeeee

Thanks for requesting!

cw: mean girl stuff, social anxiety

Remus Lupin x fem!reader ♡ 929 words

“Shh.” Remus holds you close to his chest, his hand moving up and down your arm now that your crying has slowed. “It’s okay. It’s just us, yeah?” 

“Yeah,” you echo, croakily. You’re glad you can’t see your boyfriend’s face, for fear you’d die of embarrassment otherwise. The looming insecurity of your day stands over you like a grim reaper. 

You arrived home from a friend’s birthday dinner to find Remus sitting on the couch, already marking the page of his book as he turned to you with a soft smile. 

“Hi, sweetheart. How was it?” 

You replied, through a laugh that turned into a sob halfway through, “Not great.” 

The dinner had been an event of foreboding for you since your invite. You’d been determined to be a good friend by not bailing, but actually going had confirmed your worst fears; it was loud, crowded, filled with people you didn’t know and didn’t fit with. Your outfit wasn’t right, the menu was daunting, and conversation swirled all around you about things you weren’t a part of. The fallout was basically inevitable. 

You perhaps waited too long to excuse yourself. You were sweating buckets and breathing around a lump by the time you did, whispering an explanation to your friend before locking yourself into a bathroom stall to talk yourself down. You’re sure she didn’t mean anything by telling the people sitting closest to her why you were gone—you don’t think she’d do it to gossip, and she’s never talked down to you about that sort of thing, at least not to your face—but by the time you returned one of her friends—a stranger to you, who’s name you can’t even remember—had formulated a fairly decisive opinion and dubbed you an attention seeker. 

You stayed only a little longer after that. Just long enough to avoid attracting more attention. And you worked yourself up well enough on the way home that all it took was one innocent question from Remus to send you crumpling into his arms. 

You’ve tried to steel yourself more than once, but any attempts at stoicism have been foiled by your boyfriend’s tender looks and whispered placations, which only make you cry harder. If you’re an attention seeker, Remus is your holy grail. Self loathing sits lodged in your throat like a stone. 

“Whose friend was it, again?” Remus asks, stroking your arm gently. 

You take a breath, trying to steady your voice. “Does it matter?” 

“I don’t mean it’s your friend’s fault, sweetheart,” Remus says. He’s all softness and patience, better than you could ever deserve. “I just thought you might talk to her, if you want to. She ought to know her friend is going around saying cruel things.” 

“She was there.” Your throat tightens at the memory. 

“Oh. Then I don’t suppose you need to say anything; I’m sure she’s already very upset for you.” 

You try to laugh, frustrated with yourself when it only seems to spur another wave of tears. “Rem. You’re biased.” 

“What?” Remus sounds genuinely surprised. “You don’t think she’s angry with that other girl?”

“She’s her friend.” 

“So are you.” His arms tighten around you protectively, chin bumping your head. “I may be biased, but the other girl was clearly in the wrong. There’s no excuse for the way she acted.” 

A dozen rebuttals fly about your head, but you keep your mouth shut. You don’t have the energy to argue. Unfortunately, Remus hears your argument in the silence anyway. 

“Sweetheart,” he says softly, “no one puts themselves through what you do for attention. You don’t choose to feel that way.”

You hunch your back, tucking your head underneath his chin. “I do get attention for it, though.” 

“That doesn’t mean you want it.” 

“But I—”

“Do you want it?” You can’t see Remus, but you hear the hardened edge to his tone. “Did you like it, when that girl called attention to you in the middle of the dinner?” 

Your voice smalls. “No.” 

“Right.” The gentleness returns. Remus puts his lips to your head. “I know you didn’t, dovey. So don’t torment yourself, please. She doesn’t know anything about you.” 

You push your lips together. He lets you chew on your next words for a while, his thumb swiping softly back and forth over your upper arm, the sleeve of your top shifting slightly with the motion. 

“What if…” You gnaw the inside of your cheek. Remus waits. “What if everyone thinks that?” 

“Mm. Well, for what it’s worth, I don’t think most people would. Surely not anyone who knows you, or anyone worth being around.” He takes a breath, thinking. “You can’t always control what people think. I know you say I’m biased, but anyone who thinks something like that really isn’t worth thinking about at all. You’ve got enough going through that head of yours, yeah?” He kisses your hair fondly. 

“I guess so,” you admit. 

“Yeah,” Remus decides. He pulls away to see your face, pushing hair away from your tacky cheeks. “I’d say so.” 

You wonder if you look as horrendously in love as you feel. You think you must, because your boyfriend’s expression softens impossibly further as he turns his head to give you a proper kiss. You feel raw but comforted, and suddenly, totally exhausted. 

“Let the bullies worry about themselves.” Remus gives you a tender look. “I’ll worry about you.” 

You let a small smile tilt your lips. “And what am I left to worry about?” 

“Nothing,” he says solemnly. “Think you can manage that?” 

“Nope.” 

“Mm. Well, try.” 

[phightingheadcanons]

i compiled a bunch of subspace and medkit headcanons because they plague me. they plague me. they anyways . uhjjmmm subspace headcanons r. im not gonna lie i got some of these from deadplate. but. THERES!! a lot of these. be prepared 1. I don't think he can eat properly. Not only because of the rot, but because not being able to taste things irks him, so he has to make a smoothie out of it 2. I thuuink i think he already. was struggling with an ED before the disaster. and not being able to taste/the rot makes it. way worse 3. I think! I think he has bipolar and audhd. 4. He keeps his hair short on the side of the rot so it doesn't irritate it 5. hes. extremely touchy. not to be affectionate. he's just always in peoples personal space 6. Often chews on his fingernails and/or picks at his skin. bad habit of his methinks 7. i think he listens to like. metal. specifically freak on a leash and rotting in vain by korn really reminds me of him 8. scarring and burns. like. everywhere. coupled with the rot obviously. i think in his line of work he gets injuries pretty easily even when trying to be careful 9. EXTREMELY tone deaf. but also sometimes ignores social cues on purpose because he knows it annoys people 10. hates the rain. he hates the sound of it. he hates the water. it ruins his day. heres medkits ... 1. Also can't eat very well but its mostly from. after the disaster. he completely lost his appetite and also lost a lot of weight just because it was. really hard for him to find the energy to even get up let alone eat 2. generally kind of. not able to take care of himself very well. even if he can take care of others 3. extremely depressed. like. really bad seasonal depression + chronic (it gets worse when he sees snow though. reminds him of blackrock) 4. during his blackrock days he would straighten his hair. he can't afford to do that now though because its too expensive + too much energy 5. god AWFUL doctors handwriting. scythe hates it. nobody can fucking read it except for medkit 6. He has generalized anxiety, depression, and PTSD, as well as autism 7. hates being touched except for in very specific situations. he also hates being close (physically) to people 8. adding onto the last one, he HATES when people touch his back or his shoulders. IMMEDIATE fight or flight response 9. extremely bad posture. shrimp posture. im telling u 10. painted his horns teal because they were originally green. he doesn't like the color green very much. nor does he like that pinkish-red color (reminds him of subspace) 11. (somewhat canon? not the indie part) usually likes classical music. sometimes dabbles in indie music. he's not into the loud shit 12. violin and piano player .... 13. tried to sand down his fangs at one point. why? i dont know! 14. his sarcasm is crazy. if he's not being sarcastic its not him 15. loves the rain. he likes the quiet and being alone but when it's deathly silent it spikes his anxiety. so the background noise is nice. it also means he has an excuse to stay inside AND!! combined headcanons. things i have that i hc for. both of them 1. both of them have hand tremors. subspace's are a little worse though 2. even though they both have separated (and medkit really tries to stay away) they both still have habits that they got used to from being around the other. medkit still makes extra of things by accident because subspace would always steal it. subspace still keeps a blanket in the lab because medkit would always fall asleep at the desk. i could keep going on im so serious. they are so horribly intertwined in the worst way possible and even if they hate each other that red string is still there. its still there. do u get it. in this essay i will- anyways! thats it for today. sorry guys i needed to YAP

"Looking. Respectfully. Peak as always. This fits them so well that I can't even explain. I would yap more, but I'm tired, and my shoulder hurts from a shot I had recently, so another time TwT"

[aromacaque]

Ok on this skeet of yours bsky(.)app/profile/skulltrot(.)bsky(.)social/post/3ldgwt3e5ns2i can I ask you to elaborate on what you mean when you say that wukong "couldn't have known"?

yeah!! bluesky's character limit makes it hard to be detailed lol

Basically, from what we know in the present Macaque obviously resents Wukong for a lot of his past behavior. How reckless he was, his carelessness, his ego/hubris/selfishness, etc.

He also felt put down around Wukong. Inferior and inadequate. In Shadowplay he's always placing Wukong above him. The way he talks about himself is very negative, etc.

That wasn't something that came out of nowhere, in fact it seems to have always been present in his character (or at least, we as the audience do not see how that mentality came to develop).

Macaque's resentment toward Wukong's behavior has been present ever since the moment they have under the tree at the beach, which is chronologically the earliest moment/memory we see of those two. We watch throughout the flashbacks in season 4 and in A Lifetime of Past Mistakes how Wukong's neglect of Macaque's wants and anxieties eventually causes him to snap during their argument at the mountain.

But despite that resentment clearly always being there, one of Macaque's worst flaws back then was how complacent he was to Wukong (and to at least the rest of the brotherhood). He placed him at such a high pedestal and put so much of his faith and trust in him that he let it completely trump over his own autonomy and sense of self-agency. He didn't make choices for himself, not because Wukong was controlling (they do not make a point to show us this so I think it's safe to assume that was not the case here), but because he didn't let himself.

When he makes jabs at Wukong under the tree, Wukong does brush over them a bit, but he does explain himself and is completely honest about his motives and desires. So I don't know that I'd say he's not taking them seriously here as much as he's oblivious to the significance of Macaque saying this is.

Ultimately, and most importantly, when Wukong says this Macaque accepts his words and it does cheer him up. The subject is dropped.

He has an issue with Wukong leaving (what we can assume is somewhat frequent both with Macaque's behavior but also with context from jttw itself), but doesn't put his foot down about it. This behavior of Wukong's is self-proclaimed for their future together. A promise that one day it will end. It bothers him, but if it's not permanent then it's fine, probably, it's Wukong he's thinking about so of course it will be. They have the same priorities, afterall (safe home and eternity together).

When Macaque is anxious about going against the Jade Emperor, Wukong tells him they'll be together.

In this instance, Macaque does attempt to continue the conversation about his doubts and worries, but Wukong isn't a good listener and unintentionally ignores Macaque. Here, Macaque doesn't even try to get Wukong's attention back, he just accepts it and gives up.

And we know Wukong ignoring him isn't conscious because once the conversation dies down, he notices that Macaque shut down and immediately goes to comfort him and reassure him.

Macaque doesn't take this moment where he does have Wukong's attention to try restating his concerns. He just accepts Wukong's words.

So, all that being said, from Wukong's perspective, it seems like Macaque is more anxious/worried about Wukong being gone for long periods of time and going against bigger demons, but he's successfully making Macaque feel better about these things and therefore it isn't a huge problem. Macaque never puts his foot down or insists his feelings further once Wukong attempts to address them, so he has no way to actually be aware that they are far more significant to Macaque than he's making known.

Macaque is not being very direct with him about it.

But we the audience know that Macaque didn't ever really feel better about these things. His anxiety/worries don't stop. His agitation and feelings of inadequacy were actively growing. We're also watching these scenes with the knowledge of how their relationship ends, which only adds to that. Wukong does not have that context though.

With all that info, to me at least, it seems obvious that Wukong isn't entirely aware of Macaque's insecurities, which is eventually what leads to him snapping under the mountain.

To me, it's safe to assume with Wukong's reaction this is the first time Macaque has ever spoken up like this. It's deserved, Macaque is saying his piece, he's not wrong, but AWFUL timing on his behalf for this because Wukong is definitely not in a mental space to be hearing any of this after getting thrown in prison with a mountain on his back.

To him, Macaque's harsher comments, such as calling him an "obsessive-demon," something that clearly hurt his feelings...

...and his self-destructive and violent behavior probably felt like it came out of no where. 0 to 100. Not to mention having that all be so aggressively blown up in your face is probably very hurtful. We don't really know what happened after their fight under the mountain until their fight in jttw, so it's hard for me to actually talk about this from Wukong's perspective, but I'm gonna assume based on how he was acting during the little bit of it we saw during season 5 that Macaque was acting more or less how he does in season 1 but worse. Insults, degrading Wukong, etc. That's... a lot of ways for your best friend to start treating you when you hadn't been fully aware there was an issue. Especially if theirs a lack of desire to talk it out, which it seems like was the case during their fight. There might have been build up to that, but we don't know.

I'm sure now Wukong is much more self-aware and has the hindsight to understand what went wrong, at least to some amount. He obviously understands that Macaque felt abandoned by him and knows that saying "You always did have a sidekick kind of vibe," would get under his skin in season 3, implying some knowledge of his feelings of inadequacy. But all the way back then? He probably didn't!

That's not to say he's not responsible for hurting Macaque, it's just a communication blunder on Macaque's behalf that contributed to the already unstable foundations of their friendship. Another tragic thing thrown into their tragedy.

Speaking of, on Macaque's side there are things Wukong says in their fight under the mountain here that imply issues with his own feelings in regards to Macaque's behavior and I would kill for them to get into Wukong's perspective of their relationship a little more because so far the amount of information we have on Macaque's feelings greatly outweighs his.

I want to point out that it seems Macaque also becomes more aware of this with hindsight. I don't think it's a coincidence that after essentially reliving their fight after the mountain and hearing Wukong blow up at him for never coming to his rescue he spends the entire next season literally going out of his way to help Wukong whenever he reasonably can. That's kind of an entirely separate tangent though.

Overall, the point is...

He ignored Macaque, and Macaque let him.

Sooo, Wukong took him for granted, didn't listen or pay attention to him as much as he should have (because if he did, he might have noticed before it was too late), but because Macaque never put in the effort to assert himself and simply let Wukong guide them wherever. Allowed him to make choices for him. Wukong most likely didn't even know that those issues were present (or as prevalent/problematic).

He didn't know Macaque felt ignored. He didn't know Macaque felt pushed aside. He didn't know Macaque felt insecure and lesser. And to me personally, I feel like someone missing something like that with someone they care about is very unfortunate, but ultimately it is Macaque's fault for never making sure Wukong was aware of how he felt. Monkey King's got a lot of powers and reading minds is not one of them.

We don't know for sure how Wukong would have reacted back then if Macaque was more assertive and willing to be more of an opposing force than he was. Or simply more open and vulnerable. We can maybe assume Wukong would act like he did under the mountain considering how Macaque reacted to it like that kind of outburst was typical. But maybe it would've never gotten to that point in the first place if they both addressed it early on. Who knows.

[abyssalzones]

at the end of the day alex is just some guy. he’s said some objectively stupid things but he doesn’t deserve to get like. beat with hammers or something. especially when he’s probably not as involved with gf’s creative design as everyone thinks he is

yeah agreed. I don't know. I used to spend so much of my life being anxious about what the creator of my Favorite Thing had to say, and I think in a way it was to avoid thinking about aspects of my real life that were contributing far more meaningfully to that stress and anxiety. this is mostly because gf has been a very important thing to me over the years, so any time there was some incongruence between what it meant to me and what was being said about it, it would feel like the end of the world. but I feel like after reading tbob and "the worst" coming to pass in a lot of ways, it's like I've broken out of that weird spell a bit. it just objectively doesn't matter to me anymore if alex says something stupid or annoying outside of official material, and even within official material I think I've found a lot more closure by acknowledging the things that used to bother me than turning away from them and going Well that's not how /I/ would've done it!!! which makes sense for a show that has a lot of themes about avoidance, in an oddly full-circle way.

I'm getting a little off topic from what your ask was about I think. I've been kind of hesitant to bring it up publicly since I don't want it to seem like I'm his #1 fan or doing a big heel turn or anything but I don't claim to hate alex at all anymore, I disagree with his perspective sometimes but I think that's healthy in terms of having a meaningful, personal dialogue with a story. a creator cannot perfectly convey to an audience and have their intention be universally understood, nor should they! it's vital that art remains subjective, and that there's an infinite number of interpretations- regardless of whether they're supported by the text in some capacity or are totally bullshit. and just in general as I've grown up a bit I think dedicating energy to making myself anxious on the internet is a waste of time when I could be making art that is truer to my feelings about something. I respect and uphold everyone's right to be a #hater but I think being a #lover is vitally important to keeping criticism meaningful, as well as keeping perspective on Why you're hating something.

please god nobody take any of this in bad faith btw I love complaining I think complaining is great I just don't want to do it as much anymore. I want to live!!!!!!

[milkoomi]

⋆˚࿔ a new canvas means a new you 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

a mini series on the art of becoming a better you

previous chapters + masterlist

final chapter — THE ART OF OVERCOMING

i know there’s a lot of us who struggle with anxiety or fear or even the anxiety of experiencing failure. there’s so much in our lives that we worry about, and there’s this feeling of struggle that we have from it that makes it feel like it’s impossible to overcome any hardships we come across. but the truth is: we can overcome the hardships. we can overcome anxiety, fear, stress, failure; everything that life has to throw at us, we can overcome it!

ᥫ᭡. understand your emotions

a lot of those “i can’t do it” moments stem from us not understanding why or how we’re feeling the way we do. it’s important to understand what you’re feeling and reflecting on those emotions or thoughts. when we experience stress or anxiety, our minds are filled to the brim with overwhelming thoughts that are just spinning and mixing around in our heads. that feeling makes it even harder to really think about things logically and to even understand an ounce of what we’re feeling.

let it out.

let out your frustrations, in a healthy manner of course! if you feel like crying, do it! just let it out. even if you’re just brain dumping into your journal, it allows you to spill all the thoughts that are running around in your mind out. release your thoughts and emotions.

take time to reflect.

journaling is an on-going topic within this community on tumblr and on my page, but it’s talked about so much because it’s one of those things that really works and shows actual growth within ourselves! so take the time to write down everything that you’re feeling, let yourself process your emotions that overwhelm you!

consider the “why” when it comes to your emotions.

why are you feeling anxious? why are feeling scared? why are you feeling stressed out? it’s important to figure out why exactly you’re feeling the way you are because without that understanding, it can lead to even more negative thoughts and emotions.

once you understand why, then consider going back to the reflection bit. just take as much time as you need to process your thoughts and feelings!

ᥫ᭡. reassurance

remind yourself that it’s going to be okay! i believe i mentioned this in one of the previous chapters or in one of my other posts, but you have gotten through 100% of all your worst days, so who says you can’t get through one more? you will get through whatever situation it is that you might be going through! it’s so important to give yourself that reassurance.

also, it’s absolutely okay to ask for reassurance from others! being reminded by the people who love and care for you that things are going to be okay can be such a calming feeling. it’s okay to ask for reassurance, we all need it from time to time!

getting this reassurance just puts our minds at ease and, at least in my own experience, it has given me motivation to work through whatever it was that i was dealing with. having reassurance shouldn’t feel burdensome, it should feel relieving!

ᥫ᭡. juno’s rules

i, personally, like to follow a small set of rules when it comes to overcoming something like anxiety about starting a new semester or stress from financial hardships or fears of creating new relationships with people:

rule 1: believe that you can overcome the feeling

there’s a lot of people who manifest, me included, and we see a lot from different posts/sources about manifestation that we have to believe that what we want is already ours. so use that same idea and believe that you can or already have overcome whatever it is you’re going through!

when we put ourselves in that mindset of believing we can’t do it, the more and more we’ll manifest that whatever it is we’re struggling with will only continue to make us struggle. you have to believe that you can overcome the situation/issue/feeling, otherwise those negative thoughts will overpower your want and need to relieve yourself from the stress.

rule 2: have a support system

we can’t always do things on our own, sometimes we need that extra help, and that is okay! i mentioned this earlier, but seriously, asking for help/reassurance is 100% okay. you should ask for help especially when you need it!

your support system could include your family, friends, mentors/teachers, partner(s), and/or a therapist! there are people willing to help you or even just be there for you to lend you their support!

rule 3: take action

when we become overwhelmed by a situation that we know we need to overcome, sometimes we’ll reach a point where we might feel stuck. it’ll sometimes feel like we’ve given up as a whole, and we have to stop having that kind of mindset!

if you’re stressing about an upcoming exam, take action by putting in the work to study and review notes or reach out to your teachers/professors/peers for extra help!

if you’re stressing about talking to a loved one about setting boundaries, take action by writing everything you want to say and gathering all your thoughts together to get your mind situated and more organized!

whatever it is that’s causing you to feel negative emotions like stress, anxiety, or fear, take steps towards relieving that feeling! sometimes taking action may be practicing more self care or changing your lifestyle or even breaking bad habits! whatever it is, you have to be willing to take action and you have to remember who you’re doing this for: yourself.

ᥫ᭡. final notes

it’s important to remember that overcoming something, whatever it may be, is for the betterment of ourselves. i talk a lot about self care on my blog and i will always advocate for that! whatever it is that’s bringing us down or adding a lot of stress in our minds, we have to be able to overcome those obstacles or feelings! getting ourselves to work through challenging situations or difficult emotions is the best form of self care and it allows us to grow even more as individuals! there’s so much strength in putting in the work to overcome something and there’s even more strength we gain from doing so! self improvement and becoming that girl/person can become easier when we learn to overcome what life has to throw at us. life isn’t easy and i know a lot of us can attest to that, but life also has a very special way of showing us what it’s like to live our lives to the fullest.

with lots of love, juno 🌷

[evercelle]

2024 art summary! it sure has been a year

[thebirdandhersong]

Lol

[itspileofgoodthings]

my life is a very slow process of everyone around me telling me not to be anxious and me fighting them all tooth and nail while inching towards more stable mental health.

[willowfey]

starting to think maybe waking up with an anxiety stomachache every single morning and then needing to spend the entire day trying to get rid of said anxiety just to maybe have a few minutes in the evening of feeling relaxed before going to bed is perhaps not normal

[1796samuel-seabury1729]

that was terrible 😸😸😸😸

[blairdii]

genuinely thinking of doing a social media detox. i have fallen victim to the excessive dopamine pandemic

[whentherewerebicycles]

question: when you're starting a new job, what do you most want out of your first week of onboarding? what's most helpful for you to know/understand upfront? also... what's not helpful? tell me your onboarding nightmare stories too lol

[lesbianwyllravengard]

I guess it should be a good thing I haven't had a serious panic attack in so long but it means I've completely forgotten how to handle it. I just splashed my face with cold water like a male protagonist but all it did was make me cold.

[teeth-kid]

having the Stomach Ache At Night anxiety (the worst kind in the world)

[crimeronan]

i'm working on the next wwaitsoatl chapter, which as i've previously mentioned is by FAR my most involved story as far as, like, technical process goes. i finished the second draft of the chapter and went "god, wow, this is all shit, this all sucks so bad, i'm never gonna be able to make anything usable out of this" and then stepped away for a few hours and now i'm midway through the first editing pass and i just keep going "oh my god. oh my god. holy Shit this is gonna bang so fucking hard once i fix it all. oh this is gonna go so hard there's so much potential. fuck YES oh my GOD my HORRIBLE LITTLE BITCHES ARE BACK-"

[itspileofgoodthings]

Nina and I are unfortunately like dynamite and gunpowder. something happens and we’re just like oh yeah? You wanna go? Let’s go! Meet me in the ring bitch!