#and the anxiety disorder
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Sometimes my body really feels like a teetering stack of Jenga blocks. My blood pressure just dropped like it’s hot, there are mystery illnesses and hereditary conditions as far as the eye can see, pollen can one-punch me into tiny pieces, and my digestive system has a toxic yaoi relationship with grape juice of all things. I hit my head so much it’s a wonder I don’t have brain damage. I was once so sick that I had 3/4s of the rabies symptoms.
Ah, well. At least I haven’t broken a bone.
#health#just found out i ALSO have a non-life threatening heart condition courtesy of my grandmother#thanks a lot genetics#not only is my vision shit but so is my hearing#oh and the autism can’t forget the autism#and the anxiety disorder#and the 1928384774 sensitivies#and the pollen allergy#i really got the worst of both worlds huh
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Me: You know how when you were a kid and you’d wish that you’d get sick or injured in a way that would justify why you didn’t live up to your potential?
Everybody, apparently: No?
#just me?#okay#it’s just me and the anxiety disorder my parents were sure I’d grow out of against the world
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watching bridgerton and obviously there were a lot of things wrong with the way socializing has worked in the past, but honestly the idea of a "calling hour" is so appealing. office hours for friendship. you can show up unannounced at my home between 1 and 3pm. you must leave by 3pm. I may give you a pastry. lets bring that back
#bridgerton#lauren says things#i know the calling hour is for romantic prospects#(at least in bridgerton)#but there IS something to be said for having social rules! I like it to an extent!#no I don't have a panic disorder rooted in social anxiety why are you asking me that#and tbf one CAN just do this!#but working out social contracts with friends is hard and scary lol
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"you have an anxiety disorder" it's actually called being a bunny and it is perfectly normal and healthy for me to be like This !!
#alterhuman#otherkin#therian#therianthropy#nonhuman#alterhumanity#bunny therian#bunnykin#rabbit therian#rabbitkin#social anxiety disorder#new england cottontail rabbit#bunny theriotype#rabbit theriotype#therian thoughts#therianblr#alterhuman things#mental health#i am weird forever 👍
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*displays textbook symptomatic behavior of my own disorder that I am well educated on* what’s my deal why am I like this
#I know exactly why I’m like this but why am I like this#I know what’s wrong with me but wtf is wrong with me#adhd autistic#audhd creature#cluster a#cluster b#cluster c#personality disorders#bpd stuff#late diagnosed autistic#cptsd recovery#did osdd#bpd#audhd#adhd problems#audhd problems#borderline personality disorder#complex trauma#mood disorders#anxiety disorders#psychotic disorders#neurological disability#neurodivergent#neurodiversity#trauma disorders#traumagenic
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Bruce is a overprotective and kind of strict parent, but he is very lax in some domains where other parents wouldn't. Here are some examples:
His kids stealing money from him. You will never catch Bruce Wayne lecturing his kids for taking his money. In the Arkhamverse, Jason steals 5 millions from Bruce's bank account to buy his army, and the problems for Bruce are: he didn't know it was Jason so it stressed him a bit, and Jason used it to buy an army.
Stealing from him in general. What is his is theirs. Unless it's dangerous. (Cars are death machines for his anxious self, which is why buying another batmobile for the young justice is not acceptable, or is kids taking it for a ride. He did made Redbird for Tim as a gift for when he got his license.)
Stealing from the cops (he has done it himself so many times)
Stealing money from rich people. In Knightfall, Bruce meets a British vigilante named Hood who steals from the rich to give to the poor, and Bruce had NO problems with that. He likes the young man. Stealing possessions is an issue tho. (Dick should follow his Robin Hood's dream, his father is fine with that)
Hacking into government facilities or anything really. Unless it's to harm an innocent civilian, like a classmate, he will not say anything. Hacking the FBI? Good. Hacking a russian mafia? Ok. As long as they do it safely and follow Barbara's instructions, it's fine.
Lying to him. Bruce is always impressed when he realizes one of his kids lied to him and he believed them. He's the Batman, after all, they have been able to fool the Batman. When he learns that Tim invented a fake uncle, he is proud of him and he tells him such, because he made the Batman believed it.
#bruce wayne#batman#batfam#dick grayson#jason todd#tim drake#damian wayne#cass cain#duke thomas#dc comics#my ramblings#bruce “what are you doing?” tim “hacking the pentagon” bruce “that's great sweetie”#my examples based in canon does not mean that canon always follow this logic it's my interpretation#I'm saying that before I get attacked#also as someone with an anxiety disorder: cars are death machines and I don’t trust half of the drivers on this earth
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alright everyone, we’re picking ourselves up and going again. We’re putting ice on our split lips and busted knuckles. We’re doing our dishes and our laundry even if it stays hanging on the line for four days. We’re texting our friends back. We’re wiping the dust off our clothes. We’re booking and attending medical appointments. We’re taking the empty dishes out of our bedrooms. We’re sitting outside in the sunshine. We’re holding our heads up. We’re apologising to the people we’ve hurt. We’re forgiving ourselves.
#Positivity#recovery#depression#anxiety#mental health#mental illness#breakdown#borderline personality disorder#bipolar
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“do you want to talk about it?”
no, i want to kill myself because of it.
#bpd#mentally unstable#major depressive disorder#severe anxiety#bpd thoughts#actually bpd#ocd#overthinking#trichotillomania
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Uh, of course I have straight As!
-Agender
-Aromantic
-Asexual
-Autistic
-Anxious
-Asthmatic
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poor memory is a huge deal and i wish people wouldn't diminish it by saying "oh yeah i can't remember what i had for breakfast lol."
i can't remember the first 10 years of my life. i can't remember entire days, weeks, months at a time. i can't remember entire people, i can't remember names or faces. i can't remember when things are scheduled for, my calendar app on my phone is booked to the max with reminders and task checklists. i can't remember when i moved into what home when, i can't remember important milestone dates like when i got or lost certain jobs, or when i started a new hobby.
that's what i mean when i say i have poor memory. poor memory is so scary for the person who has it. it's not a quirky thing, everyone forgets small details. memory problems are scary because you can go through entire events or days with no memory, or plan for things in the future that you can't recall ever even looking into or scheduling. it's not a funny haha kind of thing, it's serious, and it affects a lot of people in very unavoidable ways.
not being able to plan for appointments or work schedules, not being able to remember people's names or faces, not being able to recall whether or not you were present for something or whether or not you met someone, not being able to keep track of what's happening on what dates and losing track of items because you can't remember where you put them are all very real problems, and anyone dealing with them deserves to be taken seriously, and not diminished when they choose to speak up about it.
#neurodivergence#mental health#adhd#did#ptsd#mental illness#schizophrenia#ocd#anxiety#generalized anxiety disorder#depression#bipolar disorder#bpd#borderline personality disorder#neurodivergent#autism#mental health awareness#dpdr#osdd#dissociative disorders#dissociative#depersonalization derealization#other specified dissociative disorder#memory problems#poor memory#learning disorders#chronic fatigue#neurological disability#neurological disorders#traumatic brain injury
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#lmao#for anyone who's curious the process went:#send ask to aita official#blog blows up#someone realizes its a chexer fic#i follow them bc they seem cool#i join their rvb server#their encouragement pushes me to finish the Actual Fic i was working on#i expand the fic to be more of a whole au after it comes out much better than expected#the next fic in the au that i work on has to do with a character's brain injury#this leads me to do research into brain injuries#''......huh. this sounds. a lot like the neurological symptoms that my doctors have been saying is just part of my anxiety disorder''#think on that for a while#go to the ER for unrelated reasons#remember my theory#bring it up to the doctor#Doctor Immediate Concern#doctors orders a ct scan#''eeyup! that there's some atrophying and a chiari malformation! y'ever had a head injury''#(i had had several)#''well! shit! time to refer you to neurosurgery :) see if we cant do somethin about all that memory loss and severe pain and shit''#and now we are here#it also lead me to research osddid systems for the first fic#and now my therapist is having me tested for osdd because i did not know that those symptoms were not a thing everyone experiences#so like. thanks for helping me meet friends who could encourage me to engage with the things i like + learn more about myself#^ ^ <3#im actually not gonna say ''ok last update fr this time'' bc idfk maybe something WOULD be funny to post on here
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i think i'm aware enough to know that one of my worse traits is thinking if it isn't unpleasant then you aren’t doing it right
#oh it's not that bad? you're having an ok or even fun time? then something must be going wrong#something is being neglected#everything is stressful if you're taking care of it correct?#people can't just be at ease and not have something bad happen right??#probably has something to do with alcoholic parents#and the anxiety disorder
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Idk if thats a bpd or a me thing
#sh vent#tw sh implied#depressing shit#tw sh related#this is depressing#tw anxiety#tw depressing thoughts#tw self destructive thoughts#tw self sabotage#tw sui ideation#bpd splitting#bpd stuff#bpd vent#actually bpd#bpd thoughts#bpd#bpd safe#tw depressive#tw mental health#borderline things#borderline personality problems#borderline personality traits#borderline personality disorder
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These two images have the same energy. I will not be taking questions
#anxiety#dealing with anxiety#mental health#absurdism#absurdity#humor#funny#anxiety disorder#GAD#catastrophization
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I’m Bored and Anxious So I Slapped Together a List of Fan Fic Writer Asks
1. Share a song that makes you think of [fic title] 2. Do you read/reread your own fics? 3. What's your favorite fic that you've written? 4. How many WIPs do you have right now? 5. What's a fic idea you've had that you will never write? 6. Are there any fics from others you reread all the time? 7. How many ideas for fics do you have right now? 8. What project(s) are you currently working on? 9. Do you write every day? If you wrote today, share a sentence of what you’ve written! 10. Is there a fic that got a different response than you were expecting? 11. Do you have specific playlists for writing fics? 12. Do you have a playlist for your current WIP(s)? Share it! 13. How much planning do you do before writing? 14. If you could see one of your fics adapted into a visual medium, such as comic or film, which fan fic would you pick? 15. How do you come up with titles for your fics/chapters? 16. At what point in the process do you come up with titles? 17. What's something you've learned about while doing research for a fic? 18. What's one of your favorite lines you've written in a fic? 19. Give us a small teaser from one of your WIPs. 20. What's a favorite title for a fic you've written? 21. Have you ever deleted an entire scene after spending hours laboring over it? If so, why? 22. Do you know how your fic will end before you start writing? 23. How do you choose where to end a chapter (if you have multi-chapter works)? 24. Share a moodboard for (one of) your current WIP(s). 25. Have you ever upset yourself with your own writing? 26. Is there something you've written that you would never want your family to see? 27. Is there a fic you were nervous to post/share? Why? 28. Have you ever tagged a fic “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat”? 29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.) 30. Ask anything!
#dabs in major anxiety disorder and cartwheels off a roof#joke's on your i don't even know how to cartwheel#anyway ask me shit i guess
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hey you. are you frustrated with yourself? are you beating yourself for not coping better? for not doing things you know can help you? for being afraid, angry, or depressed? ask yourself that, honestly.
if the answer is yes, i want you to know one thing: you're gonna be okay. it may not feel like it, but you're doing your best. you can't hate yourself into knowing better, and hating yourself still won't help you with the things you do know. knowledge and awareness and willpower can only get you so far.
you're not a computer. you're not a textbook. you're a living breathing being. you have feelings and beliefs, and it's going to take some time to work through those. it's okay to be scared. it's okay to be frustrated. it's okay to not be okay. no one can be good and fine all the time, and many of us can't be so often.
so, this is your sign to meet yourself where you're at. keep your head where your feet are. you're exactly where you're meant to be. you can't force yourself to be someone you're not, and the only way this gets better is if you accept yourself first.
so just focus on that. what you're experiencing right now will pass. future you will figure things out. for now, just be. just be. that's all you have to do. you exist and that's good. you're doing great. keep going. you'll be surprised at what you're capable of. ♡
#softspoonie#trauma recovery#recovery#mental health recovery#mental health#health#positivity#inner child healing#addiction recovery#substance use disorder#mentally ill#ptsd#c-ptsd#cptsd#complex trauma#complex ptsd#depression#anxiety#bpd#cluster b safe#cluster b#disability#disabled#disability positivity#neurodivergent#neurodivergent positivity#spoonie#addict positivity#positive affirmation
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