#and should hopefully be all good soon
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Soooo lot of stuff happened (nothing bad just chaotic) but long story short, I'm mostly trying to get myself used to a new schedule so I've had a lot less time to draw. I'm getting the hang of the new scheduling and was chipping away at this part for longer than I wanted to but here's to hoping I can get the next part out a bit sooner
#tmnt#rottmnt#tmnt art#rottmnt art#teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt au#rottmnt leo#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt mikey#tmnt comic#rottmnt comic#BARA au#botched ass rescue attempt au#rottmnt comic au#Love doing this comic#just gotta lot on my plate atm#and should hopefully be all good soon
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what if i got really into haikyuu again
#its back on netflix and ive been watching it#still as good as ever#i stopped watching it in high school when i stopped playing volleyball because it made me too sad but now im back...#back to my roots...#scared to draw oikawa again after so long#also cant focus on anything because of this fucking tinnitus that keeps getting worse wtf#anyway...oikawa drawing...hopefully...soon#notmyart#someone send me good oikawa screencaps to practice#god i should read the manga too...#also completely unrelated but i was thinking about learning a bit of japanese again but i think i gave away all my books...ugh#'again' i say like i didn't read a really good hq fanfic that changed the trajectory of my life
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ignore the fact i disappeared that was simple winter hibernation ( still sick and coughing out my lungs btw )
for a basically nonexistent context it’s currently 1:50 am my paper is literally just on my mattress hello hard surface who and this is the most abhorrent lighting and i COOKED (dubious) 🔥🔥🔥‼️🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🌶️🌶️✨🌶️😋😋🌶️😋😋🥺🥺💖💖✨✨
one of my ocs grgrggrjekslalksj I need to talk about them more on here nyways yeah uhm bye read the tags thanks
#★ ˎˊ˗ melonrambles!#guys. guess what. your dearest father#i mean melon#has returned with the goods omg this is so splendid wait wait why are you turning around#and leaving again wait no wAIT#too slow. ive disappeared with the wind 😱��#on a less silly note writers block burnout and a bunch of other silly fun happy things got meshed together into this really ugly ball#and it may or may not have taken we like 3 full days to get down a single sentence#so. hahahaha#melon is sometime but definitely before February definitely definitely aaha im not gaslighting myself im not g-#and to like throw something at this feral audience i have ammassed#a bone#if you will#ill get a work out soon#plan smth special for our silly celebration ILY GUYS SM SHHSHSHKS UGH WAHHGHH 💖💖💖#and i am finally going to be poking that smau of mine that’s been on mine indefinite hiatus for far too long <43#i was honestly thinking of discontinuing it but the anemo men… im an anemo kisser I couldn’t possibly..#so. that should be all from me#ill be workin on a new tagging system when I get back fully hopefully#so this blog will look less like an active track wreck <3#giggles okay bye im off to do more silly bybye 🫡
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made a mushroom pin that's also the hardest object to photograph on earth. I still have a brick and a half of air dry clay left so I hope to make more :]
#bakuspecial#I dont think I have a craft tag lmao. well#really wanted to make the gills on these shrooms more uh. physical. but I did Not have the patience for it fskjdfhdj#next time hopefully I will have more.#also the matte spray is really cool... its cocomelon shit to me it really does dry matte......#the other pins in that first pic are from a saigon art shop and a prize for a queer art contest I placed in two years ago#I need a good way to display them lol. mostly so I dont lose them#need to make like a scroll of fabric or something to hang on the bookshelf#my vision for this thing is a nice wide brimmed hat thats earth toned and I paint it to look like a log#and figure out how to embroider moss on it. and then mushroom pins#its genuinely not my style at all lmao I just wanna try and make it#alright I should go to bed soon.... Im gettin another stretch of sleepin at normal human hours for a while. best to make use of it#have a good night lads! making some fucked up little things really is so fuckin good for ur brane n mind
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you and I, the intersection & union of two universes
#crash course in romance#korean drama#jeon do yeon#jung kyung ho#mygif#dont ask me how i remembered all these scenes asdkjfd#my brain is just triggered that way#and i also had the hardest time coming up with a caption#but hEYYYY#we finally got ourselves one#i thought why not throw it back to the title of the very first ep and combine it with the title of the last ep#yup yup yup yup i really did that#i love these 2 so much#im thankful everyday that they crossed paths and their universes met#they are MY universe#i think i might have a few more ccir posts in me to share#they should be coming out soon.. maybe hopefully#it feels weird and surreal to think that this drama is done#im gonna miss it#it wasnt perfect but it was so good and wholesome and beautiful most of the times#im gonna miss our parents and our family members and our student frands and the banchan business#dont want to say goodbye just yet but im happy becus everyone got a happy ending#SEASON 2 PLS??#PLS???#as for me personally i got 2 dramas down and 2 more to go#im gonna miss this drama :((
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two nights in a row gripping ice cubes like i'm 14 this is fucking pathetic
#i feel like my bones are filled with concrete#i spent the day doing all the things i've been putting off#emails to orthodontist and dentist and accountant#found a gp to hopefully get a mental health plan set up with#and went searching for a psych#but fuck me that's been less that fruitful#it feels like a waste of time and energy and money#as soon as you set suicidal ideation as an issue the pool of psychs goes from 1251 to 152#and adding queer filters to that?#psychology today says go die fag#and of those how many do you reckon is eligible for the medicare rebate?#because i've emailed 4 and of those i think maybe 1 will be eligible#BUT!#they cost so much that even WITH the rebate I'd be paying $130 for a 50 minute session#it's just a waste of money#i could see a therapist every day and still see no improvement#medicare offers a rebate for 10 sessions IF i'm lucky#so that's $1300 for 50 minutes a month#i judt can't see how that's going to do anyone any good#alternatively i can sit down with rika and get my will sorted and that money can go somewhere useful#that math isn't right#it'd be $1800 for 50 minutes a month#even more wasteful#i think i'm better off finding a comfortable and private place to decay#mum might be mental but maybe she was right when she told me i should just kill myself when i was 14#i've been inhaling smoke for so long
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Conduit, Valkyrie, Rampart, and Horizon are all besties with Revenant now idc idc it's canon to ME
#he attracts all the queer people like a magnet bc he's a loser (affectionate) and they want to study him like a bug#i regret not getting conduits rev based skin bc i think im gonna start using her more often for the challenges#and i want them to match !!!!!!#ugh oh well. hopefully it'll go in the shop soon I saved a good amount of coins so i should be able to get it#anyways i love them all so much im going insane#rev posting
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it's currently like 3:30am and I just woke up feeling so sick and dizzy and I think I'm being really brave about it but I hope it goes away soon because I just want to sleeeeeeep :(
#I took paracetamol and I'm sitting up sipping water but wow I feel very not good#like I feel like I'm about to throw up 😟#tbh I think it might be like... all the congestion in my nose going down my throat whilst I was laying down#and that's why I feel sick#as for the dizziness... I'm like shivery too so probably a temperature? which the paracetamol should take care of hopefully soon#yesyes see look at me I can successfully adult and look after myself- 😭#could still use a hug though cos this is very unpleasant :(#personal
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Oh I can't seem to get a grasp on my art right now and it is not helping my mood. I'm sure it'll pass and I'll be drawing back like I was before but I always get so worried in moments like these that I may never get a hang of it again.
Ah not meant to be a vent vent, more of just silly ramblings into the void.
#text post#just rambling#I really should just step back and take a real break instead of trying to force it and getting mad when it doesnt work#but im getting genuinely antsy at my lack of drawing#i WANT to draw.#but seems my brain and hands are not agreeing and its makin me angry at myself#im sure yall all know the feeling well too#itll pass eventually#sigh... hopefully soon. i want to finish something so bad#i crave the satisfaction of it#but maybe rn is not a good time to try and force it lmao#augh. anyway. dont mjnd me
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;; ☁️
#I don’t know where to talk about this so here I am ahhhhhhh anyway I’m worried that he doesn’t#want to talk to me anymore/ which is hopefully me being overreactive#and I don’t think I came off clingy at all I really hope I didn’t and I haven’t been texting him a tremendous amount also because#I’ve been waiting for him to text me back sometimes?#and idk maybe he was busy yesterday and doing things but hhhhhhh god#I hate being nervewracked by this stuff especially after feeling SO happy and grateful#and just like overwhelmed with emotions#the last text was a question I sent last night and nothing now and yet I’m a total loser#he deleted/hid his bumble profile so that’s a good thing right? because he’s not interested in anyone else#but I’m paranoid about a crash after that high about not being able to have good things#and I just need the reassurance that it’s okay and he does like me#because he’s flying away soon I think next weekend and he was the one who said we should hang out again#before he leaves#anyway this is what the inside of my head looks like right now. sad and nervous and anxious and needy and unsure#personal
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Aha, so I'm actually just stupid and a fraud then. Just as I suspected
#impostor syndrome#i just am so tired of feeling stupid all the time#i know i have a lot of qualities and can do a lot#but i miss the feeling of being good at math#when i was insecure about so many other aspects of myself when i was younger i could always count on math#math was something i knew how to do#i wasnt a genius#but i knew how to do well in it#also everything else with school#now im just a mediocre at best student who struggles with proofs and things she should know by now#im just tiren and on my period#hopefully this feeling will dissipate soon#but im just tired of feeling alone and useless
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there’s so much i wanna do this week/month/etc but i’m just too sick, i have no energy, i can’t sleep, i’m constantly nauseous and headachey and on the verge of a migraine, i’m stressed and irritable and impatient and panicky…….how tf did i survive nearly 5 years of high school untreated if i can’t even manage this when i don’t have any major obligations rn
#at least i finally got my meds so hopefully i feel a little better soon#although i’m now on 20 pills per day which is Just Great#whenever i’m in remission it’s nice to just. forget sometimes that this can happen at any time#kinda wish i had the typical kinda chronic illness that people talk about with ‘flares’#or at least triggers that i can plan around#the other times have all had an easily identifiable stressor tho tbf. idk what caused this one#the first time was whooping cough and the next few were all very major life stressors like my cat dying right after i started uni#and i think also towards the end of my honours thesis?#but this…….there’s no major stress right now. nothing wildly beyond normal#i’m a little concerned about my joints tho. they’ve been so much worse than normal the last few months#so i’m kinda worried i’m developing rheumatoid arthritis (also an autoimmune disease and it runs in the family specifically)#so if that’s happening then it could set my thyroid off? probably should get to the doctor at some point#obv i’m seeing my endo for thyroid stuff. but i should see my gp and get her to run all the autoimmune blood tests again#i’ve done that before but it’s been a few years and my ankles and knees are so painful i can’t even walk properly a lot of the time#BUT I JUST WANNA DO THINGS I ENJOY AND I CANT AND I WILL CONTINUE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT IT#‘oh you’re so lucky you don’t have as many obligations because you’re chronically ill’ ha ha ha please swap lives with me immediately#personal#but seriously. i wasn’t diagnosed until i was nearly 17 and we can trace it back to whooping cough when i was 12#so it was the last half of year 6 and then all of years 7-10 and the start of year 11 of just being. uh. ‘very lazy and complaining a lot’#and TEACHERS joking about me and my sister (who was dealing with an arguably more severe undiagnosed disease) missing so many classes#wow so funny pdhpe teacher who’s supposed to be teaching is about health#and the thing with being a mentally ill teenager is that hyperthyroidism can just look like a very severe anxiety disorder#so i didn’t go to the dr until i was too sick to go to school at all. and luckily had a good dr who did a blood test#i’m just rambling now because i can’t sleep and i don’t wanna lie here doing nothing#might go play pvz or something. that’s been keeping me entertained
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I made a boo oc!! I'll make more drawings to use them for when I start making "serious" YouTube videos :3
#mayodraws#dont really know what else to tag so#TIME FOR RAMBLING WOOHOO#im thinking of just getting rid of the name Mayo tbh#ive grown sick of it#honestly might just stick to my real name for everything atp#i use it for the entirety of discord now so 💀#i just feel like its not me if its not my actual name#its like its a separate identity of myself even if im the same person you know?#i like feeling that i am me even through a screen i am still me and not some offbrand representation of myself#so hey everyone my name is Hailey :3 feel free to call me that#soon enough ill change all my socials or the ones I actually use to be some form of 'Hailstorm' because it sounds cool imo#and its a nickname my sister gave me so it also means something special to me <3#should I have made a separate post for this? yes#is it too late? also yes#since im in a ramble session i may as well say more on my mind#im in a server for discord and i so badly have been trying to become friends with people there but holy shit even after like 2 months#i still cant gather courage to speak most of the time#hopefully ill open up more soon but man i need to just not be so shy 😭#are you having fun reading through the tags 💀💀#i would be surprised of anyone actually read all if them#if you did i hope you have a wonderful day 👍👍#also Merry Christmas!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its Christmas totally#back onto the youtuve thing most of my videos are just shit like “toad screaming” or editing zelda cutscenes but at some point i want to#make scripted videos for nintendo related stuff#i already finished a script for ttyd and i know its not the best script but for being my first its good enough and ill learn along the way#okay im done yapping Happy St Patrick's Day
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It smudged a LOT, but I doodled a little pose study based on the old painting “Dante and Virgil in Hell” and I think it came out pretty cool :3
#castlevania#castlevania games#akumajou dracula#castlevania nes#simon belmont#dracula castlevania#art post#my art#the curse of man#adding that tag cause that is the technically correct term for the creature—#Hitoshi Akamatsu said it wasn’t technically Dracula’s second form fun fact!#it’s supposed to be like a personification of all the evil in the world necessary for Dracula to exist it’s cool#it both is and isn’t a Dracula second form schroedingers Dracula idk anyway#Simon gettin the big curse ouchie rn whoops#(the next 6 years of his life will be hell—)#I should speculate more on how the curse works cause it’s fun hmmmm >:)#hopefully soon I gotta start doing things in general#I have a really good drawing in the works rn hehehe#it’s a redraw of an older artwork I never posted here cause the facial proportions were wonky lol but yeah#so uh stay tuned for that ig XD#pose study#painting study#art#fanart#castlevania fanart
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Omg I had that alhaitham fic reblog queued from like 2 weeks ago and forgot about it completely LOL but anyway happy 4 months to that project. And what perfect timing too bc I’m finally breaking out of writers block with a new haitham project 💪😼
#riv rambles#it’s been. a day.#omg#my dad helped me out with the loans#and then I had to rush to work#and then I got drenched walking through the parking lot to my car after#and then I got a nail in my car#well the tire#I got the sign in the middle of driving home in the worst rainstorm of the year#so#it’s like the universe has been waiting for my downfall#but I called my mom to tell her about my awful day while driving home and she said a bad day just means some great news is awaiting me soon#so I hope she’s right and that I get some rly good news one of these days. hopefully that I can quit my job and have a rich husband take on#all my bills#but at least she cheered my up#ANYWAY#idk if I should write or play the archon quest tonight#I still haven’t started the archon quest
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i got so excited about getting an email that my stamps have shipped
is this what being an adult is like?
#anyways gonna have stamps hopefully by thursday so i can send the rest of my things out#im getting two in the mail tomorrow as they are priority and rest when the stamps get here#..and that big one when i overcome social anxiety and take it to the post office to confirm how much it weights so i can ship it properly#which will hopefully be next weeks tuesday since im in town#but yeah! bracelets should be going out soon finally! i didnt get the last ones back after sending them so its a good sign!#tho its been almost a week and now im concerned where are they since i havent been told theyve arrived so...#need to remember international postage is slow ough#but yeah. all should be good at least. so excited to finally get things to people 💜💜💜#which means im motivated and inspired to make more soooo hopefully another shop update by friday. maybe sneak peeks early? 👀#and comms are open ofc if you want something specific 💜#okay no more ramble time i gotta eat and take care of few important things before i can sit down to make bracelets ough#night is an absolute mess on main
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