#i use it for the entirety of discord now so 💀

[mayo-is-an-instrument]

I made a boo oc!! I'll make more drawings to use them for when I start making "serious" YouTube videos :3

[big-beefis]

(omg that’s me!!! I’m the little baby man!!!)

oml. SWOONY

pov I go insane over this

ok

CHANGBIN MY SON. Ok maybe I shouldn’t say son abt someone who I want to wreck but like. what a guy. him on a leash,,, oof 😵‍💫. I’m gonna be losing it in the discord tonight thats for sure. Anyways if he’s anything like coups I’m perfectly fine with having another puppy- or pigunny???- to train lol. Hate to think about that he’d murder my best friend to have my attention, but it’s ok. He brought a boy to the drive in and made out with him during the entirety of the Babadook. He can handle a little dying (/j cam ily). Tldr “mark him up”???? Yes please.

hyunjinnie ,,, oh boy. Bad news his tactics would 100% work on me. anyone reflects on my existence in a good way and I’m in love lmao. liminal intimacy is literally the best I romanticize life so much 💀💀. not the point. The point is that SWOONY YOUR WRITING IS AMAZING AND SO ON POINT WTF. Gonna imagine Hyunjin going through an emotional stabbing now JDJDJFJKDKF. god my brain is soup

jeongin OML. He’s the closest to me in age and I just. hooooooo boy. he’s the real little baby man lol. anyways I want to see him try and be a gentleman and then I call him cute and see him get all blushy and melty. Is that too much to ask??? Apparently in this economy yeah. We’d butt heads over “what’s best for me” but I can handle a kid like him haha :3 he can break any man’s arm if he gets handsy tho- another cute guard dog lol. I think he’d definitely be a handful but also he’s manageable if you squish his cheeks a little. Not too much or he’s gonna think he’s just a kid to you and start causing problems.

ah yes mr joong. The server favorite LMAO. he’ll be a fun game to play- cookie crumb trails are my specialty. also he’s right about me being gorgeous and attractive LMAO. anyways I just keep collecting guard dogs huh? I can become a mob boss at this rate. I’ll start complaining about assholes just so he picks up on it and causes problems. It’s healthy, you know? Have to let the Joongies kill from time to time, reminds them of their natural habitat. yk, enrichment play. anyways as much as I am devoted to my skidz joong is most likely to win my heart. plus he’d let me do his hair. bonus perks

Jackson. What a guy. I never would have associated him w yandere tendencies but now that you lay it out like this? yeah i can see it lol. he’s gonna have to be really slick- I’m not the easiest to fool- but if he’s careful I won’t suspect a thing. (I’m really just laying out how to manipulate me on the internet huh?? happens) if he’s inevitably caught he’s another one who will just smile through the whole thing, completely unbothered. he’s like yeah I did it!!! For you!!! for me!!! for us!!! And I’ll do it again don’t try me LMAO

ahhh gyeom,,, a cutie. have to say he wouldn’t make the cut you’re right i am crazy tho lmaoooo but he’s fun for some stalker thrills from time to time lol. ofc that is until I’m locked up in his basement. Ouch. ah well.

and ofc last but not least, minhyuk,,, Ah man. need me a good trophy boyfriend LMAO. I’m sorry my brain is shutting off rn I’m sleeby but. another one who’s hard to manage but will prob have my attention eternally post-breakup 💀💀 you win buddy lol

THANBSHSJHFJDJD THANK U FOR WRITING THIS SWOONY ILY !!! NOW I HAVE AN ACC AND A FACE AND WHEN I SENT THAT I WAS A LITTLE BABY FOOL WOW. NOW IM STILL A LITTLE BABY BUT LESS OF A FOOL!!!! WOW!!!! I’m gonna shower see u in chat in like 20 minutes LMAO

My Favorite Yanderes Pt. 2

for the lil baby man itself, @beefis

cw: manipulation; jealousy; controlling behavior; stalking; flippant references to blood, violence, murder

[Hyunjin, Jeongin, Hongjoong, Jackson, Yugyeom, and Minhyuk under the cut

Part 1: Seungcheol, Joshua, Jungkook, Solar, Yeonjun, Soobin, Taehyun]

Changbin

Changbin's probably in a similar category as Scoops—just a toxically sweet, overeager puppy who wants all your love and has zero concept of boundaries

goes everywhere with you, and drags you everywhere he can—your friends joke that you should have him on a leash and he's ordering one on amazon that night

every post on his social media that isn't a picture of/with you still finds a way to mention you somehow

whines if you go for more than a week without posting about him—weekend selfie spams to make up for it are a regular activity

doesn't see any problem with just casually going through your phone—he doesn't care if you go through his—but gets jealous every time

there's a whole song-and-dance you do—Changbin kicks up a fuss about how one of your friends was definitely flirting with you, and you're just too sweet to notice; you insist that's not what was happening; eventually turns into you declaring that it doesn't matter what anyone else is trying to do, you only have eyes for him—cancel any plans you had for the rest of the day, because you're about to be smothered by a 167 cm tank made of giggles and muscle

if you ever turn it around on him and decide to play the jealous partner, it'll be like you've made Christmas come early for him—he'll eat up your possessiveness like takoyaki, eager to demonstrate that he's all yours—mark him up, tell him he's yours, and he's in heaven

it's all very routinely dysfunctional, all very comfortably unstable

not usually aggressive when he gets jealous; if he thinks someone is taking up too much of your attention, just shows off or acts bratty until he has your attention back

if he thinks someone is flirting with you, will not hesitate to simply walk over and pick you up and carry you away

how likely he is to murder someone for you: 7/10

i know i said y'all were comfortably dysfunctional, and maybe that sounded like it was implying a much healthier lack of crime than most yandere relationships run on

it does not

surprisingly, it's not a crime of passion

it takes a lot to get him there, but if Changbin decides someone is getting between the two of you and his usual tactics aren't cutting it, then other plans just have to be made

surprisingly efficient when it comes down it—calm, cool, methodical

it won't be clean enough to be written off as accidental, but you'll probably never even know he had anything to do with it!

Hyunjin

fell for you because you looked at him and said exactly one(1) insightful thing about him

Hyunjin wants desperately to be seen for who he is, and fixates specifically on your ability to do that, but also knows he can use his looks to fool and manipulate you

it's very bittersweet for him, he is (to a certain degree) a painfully self aware yandere

plays hot-and-cold with you, at times deliberately drawing you in, other times, then acting aloof at others

wants you to need him as badly as he needs you

his desire for you to understand him is impossible for him to resist, though, which leads to strange little moments of liminal intimacy

you'll find yourself alone with him, sitting on the back porch at a house party or walking home together from a night of bar-hopping with your friends, as he asks you about problems at work or tells you about how he listened to this album he thinks you'd really like

you don't talk much, so you're startled when he remembers things you'd mentioned in passing ages ago, things like how the spot your desk is in is never warm enough or that song you'd been listening to on repeat last month

there's something uncomfortably flattering about it, something that makes you feel like a deer in the headlights, but also makes you want to linger in the attention, to luxuriate in his intense focus

how likely he is to murder someone for you: 8/10

you're simply too important to him to allow anyone to get between the two of you

absolutely a calculated move on his part

he plans things out pretty well in advance, but probably gets a little sloppy in the middle of the act

what started out as the clean-cut algebra of not being able to lose you turns into a passionate, desperate rage

would decide not to tell you, because he knows that preserving an image that you can love is necessary to keeping you

but having you know and accept every part of him is such an intoxicating fantasy for him, he can't help but confess what he's done to you eventually

Jeongin

another one who's been watching from the sidelines for a while and has something to prove

unlike Jungkook, though, Jeongin is not content to wait around for you to notice that he's grown up

once he figures out what he wants from you, he doesn't hesitate to start staking out his territory

he'll insist on paying for your share of the bill after dinner, walking you home, tossing his jacket over your shoulders when you shiver—but tries do it all with an attitude of careless pragmatism to cover how fiercely possessive he feels

does it work? probably not—everyone knows Jeongin has favorites

tries very hard to be cool and witty and practical around you

but he can't help but melt a little if you insist on babying him

pragmatic, controlling, maybe a bit of a bully sometimes!

convinced that he knows what's best for you

doesn't have a lot of sweet words for you, but shows how much you mean to him through little things—picking up your favorite drink even when he forgets the exact thing Changbin sent him to the convenience store for, making sure he always has your favorite hoodie on hand to wrap you up in, snapping the wrist of that creep at the bar who was getting a little too handsy

how likely he is to murder someone for you: 9/10

listen. i hate to break it to you, but.

he definitely already has

once Jeongin decided you were his, no one who might come between you had a chance

it's a little sloppy—he did his best to research, but there's no amount of research that prepares you for the struggle and the mess, for the first hot spill of blood

recovers admirably though, does a competent enough job at clean-up

Hongjoong

it wasn't love at first sight for Hongjoong, but it was a sudden spark, an arrow that hit him out of nowhere and pinned him down like a butterfly

it could be anything really—a unique little turn of phrase that sticks in his mind or an offhand complaint about a book you didn't finish, a surprisingly insightful observation about one of his favorite songs or a teasing comment about his outfit

whatever it is, though, he can't get it out of his head—it sends his curiosity flaring, makes him circle back around to you over and over again until his fingers itch, until he feels like he's going insane

he wants to peel all your layers away, he wants to know you down to your bones

he's careful in this courtship, though, prying information from you bit by bit, dropping crumbs of himself like a trail and waiting eagerly to see if you'll follow

doesn't actually get too jealous of other people flirting with you—it can't be helped, of course people are attracted you—you're like a flame, burning bright in this dim, dull world, and the moths can't help it if they're drawn in

he's not actually worried about anyone coming between you—who could?

you are his soulmate, you are his muse, no one will understand you like he does

how likely he is to murder someone for you: 10/10

he doesn't have to, he's quite good at using manipulation to solve any problems that come up

but sometimes, your Joongie simply won't be satisfied with anything short of blood

it's probably not anyone who he perceives as a threat to your relationship that gets the bloodlust thrumming through him, but anyone he perceives as a threat to you

anyone who puts their hands on you, who makes you uncomfortable, anyone who looks at you like an object

Jackson

clingy and possessive

this boy wants to be in constant contact, wants to know where you are and what you're doing always

you know how Jackson once showed up to a fan meeting because Namjoon wasn't answering his texts?

yeah, expect him knocking on your door because you took an accidental nap mid-conversation or showing up at your dinner with friends because you were too carried away with the actual conversation to complete your last ten-minute-check-in

don't worry, though, he's charming enough not to embarrass you (too much) in front of your friends

loves to show you off—buys you ridiculous designer clothing, takes you to the most absurd events, and then takes half a million selfies with you to prove it

buys you Louboutins and puts a tracking chip in them

hates all your friends, but is really good at playing the game of winning them over

talks shit about them to you once you're home, though—tries to keep it casual, just a comment here or there, but he's not that subtle

how likely he is to murder someone for you: 6/10

this isn't a boy who wants to get his hands dirty

it's not about right or wrong, it's about ~ruining the fantasy~

not above hitting someone with his car in a fit of jealous anger, though

more likely to arrange for someone to be caught in a scandal, though, caught with drugs planted on them or in a 'compromising position'

Yugyeom

i'm very tempted to tell you to just sit down and listen to Point of View: U

obsessive and incapable of hiding it—stalking your social media and asking mutual friends about you turns into Yugyeom just happening to end up in all your usual spots, bringing you odd little gifts and offering to walk you home

he's not subtle, and your friends definitely notice

if he actually manages to wrangle you into a relationship—how? are you actively into crazy??? (it's fine, i understand, i am here with you 😌)

possessive, needy, but also pathetic in a way

every disagreement you have with him either starts or ends with him crying (and let's be honest, it's probably both)

upside! he's willing to subsume his entire identity into you and your interests and desires (as long as those desires don't involve leaving him), so disagreements only happen when he's jealous or anxious about you leaving him

downside! Yugyeom's anxious about losing you 24/7

suspicious of everyone in your life—cannot fathom a worldview that doesn't involve everyone who so much as breathes near you having the intention of stealing you away from him

if you think there's any scenario where this ends up with you not locked up in his basement, i am very sorry

how likely he is to murder someone for you: 12/10

it's not a matter of if, but when

the degree to which he feels threatened by the people in your life means him snapping it inevitable

and there's nothing Yugyeom won't do to keep you

Minhyuk - King of Yanderes

not a planner, but surprisingly crafty

Minhyuk uses his charisma like a blunt weapon, he's flirting wildly once he realizes he wants you, and he probably wants you the moment he sets eyes on you—buckle the fuck up

stalks your social media with zero shame or subtlety

sends you so many thirst trappy selfies. so. many.

texts you constantly—doesn't get needy for responses the way yanderes like Scoops or Jackson do, but also definitely not afraid to double text you

dream trophy boyfriend, just wants to hang off you and look hot and be shown off to your friends like a designer bag or an extremely fluffy dog

you don't even really realize how yandere he is unless/until you break things off with him

what was an endearing clinginess turns into an obsessive fixation when you break things off

he keeps up with what's going on with you in every way he can, checking your social media regularly and interrogating your shared friends about how you're doing, what's happening in your life, who you're seeing

works on making himself irresistible to you while you're gone—he's in the gym 24/7 (and posting the thirst traps to prove it); if you're dating guys with long hair, starts growing his out; if you're seeing blondes, he'll bleach it

slides back into your life as soon as he sees the chanceto do so

how likely he is to murder someone for you: 3/10

he's a lover, not a fighter

would simply make you forget the rest of the world exists by smothering you with his affection, rather than bathe it in blood for you

don't underestimate him, though!

under the right circumstances, will absolutely get his hands dirty for you

if murder's the only way to get rid of an obstacle to your relationship—consider Minhyuk a criminal for love<3