#and ofc everyone are valid to feel what they feel!!!! i know that!!!!!! it just hurts selfishly lmaooo

[bunnihearted]

im sorryyyyy i dont wanna be a mean bitch but genuinely i feel like im the one of only ppl who are actually alone bc i keep seeing all of these ppl complain abt how alone they are then they post a bunch of pics with their friend groups and they go on trips and celebrate their birthdays with friends and im like 😦?????????? im ngl i lowkey feel betrayed bc like yes sure we can relate on "feeling lonely" but ig at the end of they day im so sorry im not saying this to gatekeep loneliness or whatever but like u just cannot relate to what it feels like to not only feel lonely but also be alone and not even have people who want to spend moments with u. and feel and be like on your birthday you're alone. on your insta you're alone. irl u dont have ppl who even want to make plans with u. i know i know that everyone's loneliness is valid and you can still have partners and friends and feel lonely and that is valid i really do think so. idk i just feel so fkn alienated from everyone, including people who say theyre lonely - bc they still have ppl to talk to and ppl to be with and ppl who wants to be with them and consider them their friend lol.... i dont have anyone to take pics with or have groupchats with or go to concerts with or go for walks with and i dont have anyone to message abt stupid things or blah lahblahblah it doesnt even matter atp

[wannabe-me-again]

It's finally happened. Today somebody told me that being aroace is just a phase and that I shouldn't take it seriously.

Guys, we've made it. I'm now officially aroace™. Put the trademark on my ass. I'm living the dream. For some reason I feel so validated in my aroace-ness, like it's finally become real because somebody said it's not real, you know? I'm honestly just happy to be included lol

[vulpisnocturna]

hot things about Itachi's mannerisms that he does without realising?

Anon, you want me to die? Okay okay. Mostly SFW, a lot of simping going on. I’ve got a few, the last one is especially cute 🥰

- This man has no idea of the power his voice holds. His tone is always mellow and he chooses his words carefully, but that rich cadence and deep voice is just- I just know he got all the bitches (i am bitches) ready to kneel on the ground he walks upon

- Eye contact!!! He always makes everyone feel like they have his undivided attention. And his eyes are his biggest power, so he needs to keep them on everyone. But with the people he trusts, it’s just constant eye contact! This includes during sexy time, and it’s just-

- He sits like a mf king. This man was probably trying out intimidating poses before Sasuke got to the fight, and boy oh boy did he deliver! The easy stretch of his legs, the nonchalant hand resting on the cloak… look, he exudes power, and it’s hot and I don’t care

- His hands deserve a category of their own. Have you seen them??? The nail polish (slay), the long, slender fingers, the ring. I just know Itachi has an artist's hands. Pretty and elegant, with graceful, tapered fingers and veiny back of the hand (kill me I am a slut for hands)

- He likes cats (hot and very valid)

- His little smirk (I am deceased). He doesn’t show emotions often, but that little smug smirk is just-

- He loves to tease people. I don’t know what it is, but I just know deep down, he’s got sarcasm for days and he loves to use it

- I have this headcanon that when Itachi’s interested/curious, he tilts his head a little. I don’t know if I’m weird for classifying this as hot, but listen, it looks like a feline stalking a prey. It’s valid, and that’s that.

- He has manners. You know how he knocked before trying to kidnap Naruto? How he uses honorifics even with Kakashi, before he puts him in a coma? Manners.

- He can cook

- His hair. It’s not a mannerism, but the girls that get it, get it.

- He is observant: he sees it all and he notices when something’s not right

- He has brains for days. Not only is he blessed with impossibly good looks, he is also incredibly smart. I mean, what more could you want?

- Despite being a prodigy, smart and beautiful, Itachi is not going to rub it in people’s faces. He knows he’s powerful, but he never underestimates anyone

- Wearing a necklace. I don’t know what it is, but jewellery on him looks stunning

- In a modern AU, he definitely would open a car door for you

- He would walk with his hand resting on the small of your back (tell me that’s not the hottest thing ever)

- Definitely rolls up his sleeves when he wears a shirt. And ofc he’s blessed with amazing forearms

- Drives with his hand on your thigh, or holds your hand and changes gear without letting go of it

- Is a malewife. He cooks, he cleans, he does it all

- Is secretly possessive

- This man is such a giver. He’s constantly thinking of your pleasure during sex

- holds eye contact with you when you two are having sex

- Would be the type to tip your chin with his finger to kiss you

- chokes you against a wall 🥰🥰🥰

[into-f0lkl0re]

kk arnold nsfw hcs !! i loved the fluff ones cant wait to see what else you have instore :)

hey pook!!!! i’m so glad you liked my headcannons!!!!!

warnings:nsfw obvi and my horrendous spelling😛

kk arnold nsfw headcannons

————————————————————————

• MUNCH (i feel like we already knew this but like she loves to eat if ykyk)

• she has a strap but i feel like she only would use it if she was pissed off (she has ten fingers and a tongue for a reason)

• when yall first started dating i feel like she was prob really nervous

•she just wants to make you feel good

•like pleasuring you gets her off

•we already know she needs reassurance and needs to feel validated

•knowing that she is the one making you feel good.

•at first she was constantly asking if things felt good

“baby does this feel good?”

“how am i doing?”

“baby what do you want me to do?”

•she still does all of that stuff now but her confidence has grown

•she knows your body and she knows every reaction

•she knows your close by the sound of your moans

•i already said she’s a munch but she just loves eating you out

•you’re her favorite meal

•she loves looking at you from in between your legs

•EYE CONTACT!!!

“baby look at me”

“look at me or i’ll stop”

“who is making you feel this good”

“say my name”

•she wants you to be loud

•like if you cover your mouth she will take her fingers out of you just to use that hand to take your hand off of your mouth

“i wanna hear you”

“wanna hear those pretty little noises so bad”

•she doesn’t get possessive (she def does she just says she dont-like be so fr rn)

•she def gets super jealous and like to the point where paige and ice and everyone find it so hilarious but yk what’s gonna happen when yall get home

•jealous kk = strap

“do you wish paige was fucking you right now?”

“let them hear how good im making you feel”

“who’s fucking you this good? lemme hear”

•i feel like she doesn’t tease much (unless she’s jealous ofc)

• after care!!(she orders food for yall and you guys just cuddle)

•after yall are done she is regular adorable lovey kk again

•she kisses your head

“you know i love you right?”

“ilysm baby”

anyway that’s it!!

you hope you guys like it!!! send more requests this is fun!

big forehead kisses 💕

-faye

[punksocks]

My Opinions on the Moon Signs

(Btw I’m going to reply soon, sorry life and work has been very busy this June ;0)

Aries moon- The definition of passionate. They can be outgoing and a lot of fun. Definitely super charismatic people. Determinators (more than Aries sun sometimes imo), they’re going to get what they want done. They also really hate not being listened to or treated as the leaders in the room. When they’re mad they get passive aggressive asf and so pissy. Every Aries moon I’ve known has basically refused to be personable while they’re upset. No matter if they were older or younger than me (my grandfather was an Aries moon). They’re loud when they’re happy and loud then distressingly quiet when they’re upset. They stay mad until they decide not to be mad anymore. Then they’ll never talk about it again and be so jovial you could never guess they were upset 2 minutes ago. Good time friends and great at entertaining a crowd though.

Taurus moon- I’m biased bc my partner has this and I love them :0. Softies. They’re grounded and caring, like no one will help soothe you more than a Taurus moon. They’re really giving but it depends what they feel resource rich in. Like if they have a lot of control over their time they’ll spend days on you. But if they grew up during constant instability and financial stress they have a hard time being flexible with giving money or moving house or things like that. They’ll come around if you can show them that they can keep their physical safety. In fact, I think it’s easiest to change a Taurus moon’s mind out of all the fixed moons (in my experience).Also, They really like it when you call them on their shit and shoot straight with them. Also food, they love good food. Any tactile good time really. They’ll make you feel special if you give them affection.

Gemini moon- I don’t have a ton of experience here. Chatty but keep more to themselves than Gemini suns. Only shows you certain parts of themselves, they always have a lot on their minds. The poster child overthinkers of the zodiac (and virgo moons too ofc). Funny tho, always a sense of humor and philosophy about just about every situation.

Cancer moon- Sweethearts. Exalted placement for a reason. Really good at sensing problems/insecurities and putting words to them. They can catch crushes easily. They need to get as much validation as they give. Like a lot. That’s one of their emotional love languages. Can be comforting or very manipulative it depends on how developed they are. One of the most creative people I ever met was a cancer moon, they were super talented and recieved a lot of praise for their great work. A sweetheart that had a lot of creative hobbies and was close to their family. Daydreamed quite a bit, but no more than any other water sign placement.

Leo moon- They don’t need to be the center of attention as often as people think, but they do need to be listened to. It means a lot to them. Can be really aggressive as kids for a period of time then they grow into themselves and can be pretty chill. Maybe a bit too chill about things they aren’t passionate about. They light up when they’re excited though. Also, they can be super competitive, like they can get in their feelings about losing at something they’re trying to show off in. (Like a video game or team sport or what have you)

Virgo moon- Very thoughtful and insightful people. They’re able to pick through and see little imperfections in people that others can not. Whether they use those powers for good or evil is truly up to them. (I have had many friends use this power for good and a relative or two use this power for evil). Everyone I’ve met with this placement has been so seriously beautiful and so aesthetically put together, idk how they do it. Doesn’t love to be called on their shit lol, you must be gentle with criticism unless you know them very very well. But they have a lot that’s on their mind and a bit they’re insecure about so you may accidentally start beef by saying something. But super perceptive people, a delight to gossip with (mercurial moons love to bond over gossip) and they have great ideas. If you have a problem to solve or analyze they’ll often have a set of solutions.

Libra moon- don’t know a ton of them. Not super well anyway. They can be very intelligent and understand a lot about the things they like. And they bluff/charm their way through everything else. Most likely to act differently around different people to try to be the person they think whoever they’re talking to will like.

Scorpio moon- usually very goth/dark style, or they’re drawn to it. Usually just radiate intensity. But also more detached from more situations than I expect every time? They have had a lot of emotional hardships growing up and so they kind of expect to get hurt again by those they’re close to. It’s like a callous for them. If they let you in you’re very special. The developed ones are such sweethearts. Knew a manipulative one that was underdeveloped and crazy tho ngl. Like that person seemed violent and like they wanted to burn the world to feel warm. So either very sweet and stand-offish or just destructive asl.

Sagittarius moon- not my cleanest set of experiences ngl. If you’re like having a good time with one then they’re funny and can be the life of the party. Can also not know how to be emotionally supportive, but will attempt it. But my mom was my bad experience and there was a lot of explosive anger at little things mixed with being immature about others emotions. Throwing a book across the room because she didn’t understand what her (post grad) homework was or coming home angry and yelling after a bad day of work without so much as saying hi. And a lot of being mad at me and other kids for not being instantly emotionally soothed yknow? Like if I needed to sit in silence and process that would tick her off and set off a chain reaction. Explosive anger. Also forcing themselves to laugh loudly after an argument to feel better (Aries moon grandfather did this too I don’t get it). This is mainly underdeveloped energy though. I had a friend with this moon placement and they had a hard time processing their emotions and would usually breakdown for a moment then get back up again. Also people with this placement tend to get most romantically interested in unavailable people imo.

Capricorn moon- me! And a lot of people I connected with briefly and deeply. Having terrible mothers and bonding over it lol. High standards for others even higher standards for themselves. Seems emotionally distant but will break down and cry when they feel safe and are probably alone. And they have a playlist for feeling sad I bet. You either are someone that they tell when they cry or you never know. Has to work out of seeing emotions they were shamed for as a sign of weakness. Gifts are their love language and if they can’t find the words to tell you how they feel about you they will often buy you something you mentioned you always wanted or something you needed off hand. Sentimental types, trouble right expressing it. Will talk to you about everything if they like you and nothing if they don’t. Capricorn placement most likely to go into isolation mode to really consider their relationships and place in life. Might grow suddenly distant if they feel neglected or betrayed. Underdeveloped ones are removed from their emotions in a dangerous way and in denial about all the healing they need to do.

Aquarius moon- also another set of messy personal experiences. Can come up with really out of the box solutions. Seem to either be revolutionary or very very conservative. Like most of the Aquarius moons I’ve known have been men so grain of salt but they would be the ones to most constantly say “a good woman does x” or “if you have that attitude you won’t get married” or throw shade on “girly” hobbies. You can’t change their mind. Even if you present evidence or a sound argument, hardest to get through to of all the fixed signs imo. Sometimes they’ll come back having changed their own mind. Maybe they googled whatever you said and started to believe you. But they’re not going to say you changed their mind. It’s something that they have to believe they made themselves come around on. They often have an independent sense of right and wrong. Sometimes very intelligent, sometimes just bluffing their way through it. Always will respond to opinions though. Can be really funny people, sometimes on accident. Allergic to routine and desk jobs. Usually… detached. Like if they care about you, they’re going to express it in an abstract or private way. Can be hard to tell if they care at all in my personal experiences ngl. My dad is an underdeveloped Aquarius moon and he’d often tell me to swallow my emotions and repress them and go with the way things were. (I don’t talk to my parents anymore lol, they’re narcissistic people)

Pisces moon- I’ve only known a few personally. Sometimes really surprisingly basic. Sometimes they’re just made of magic and they see the world in a whole different way. Emotionally in-tuned with people around them. If their environment is misanthropic then they’re more likely to be. If their environment is upbeat then they’re more likely to be. Most likely to grow up to be like their family/peers but assume they’re not imo. Sentimental with the folks they’re close to.

[kxlitz]

Hi, i'm loving your work, you're so talented. I was wondering if you could do an arguing with the Kaulitz twins (separate) HC please? ❤

I sure can!! Tysm for the request ִ ࣪𖤐

✶ Arguing with the Kaulitz Twins ✶

♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎

★ Bill Kaulitz ★

Let’s start softly

This may have been said many, many, many times but it’s true. You guys rarely fight, but! When it comes to little arguments over some petty topics I’m afraid it’s the opposite.

It never lasts long.

You accidentally pulled a loose thread on his silk shirt? He’s going to pout about it for the next thirty minutes

You stepped on him? He will dramatically say you’re plotting against him

Missed a chord on stage? Oh he will be genuinely annoyed for a little while

When it comes to serious arguments though, you need something big to anger him so badly.

It would start just like your usual bickering. Making petty remarks at each other and someetimes avoiding the main issue.

Once his face drops and he goes completely serious you know it's about to go down.

Bill can be very pigheaded so he will stick to his point no matter what. He likes being right just as he likes being in control.

He's the type to speak really fast and cut your word because he feels the need to explain himself.

Is very consious of what he says though, he will never say something hurtful that he doesn't mean.

It's a different story if he actually means it. He's brutally honest and if you did something bad he will tell you without sugarcoating it, even if it can come across as rude.

Bill can take a lot in but there's always a point where he breaks, it's normal.

Look he's not a rude person at all, but he's not one to let things slide either.

A flaw of his is that he may say a hundred things at once and expect you to listen through but there's times when one of your first replies will make him cry or freak out right away. Ofc not always but it's one of the things Bill would need to work on.

He is not that aggressive but is VERY defensive.

Bill doesn't like conflict though, this is really a worst case scenario where something comes up and you guys need to argue it out.

Friendly reminder that it is necessary in relationships to argue from time to time as long as it stays healthy.

If the argument gets too heated Bill prefers that you both part ways for a couple hours to cool down. Then you discuss again after re-arranging your thoughts.

At the end of the day he never meant wrong, he just wants to fix whatever came up.

Bill would feel terrible after you fight. He genuinely fears you’ll leave him or start hating him.

Would not apologize instantly because his pride plays a big game, but give it some minutes or an hour; worst case a day and he will come back sobbing and asking for your forgiveness, expressing how much he loves you and how he never meant to fight.

You’re the type to be angry at each other but still cuddle at night.

Hug him and tell him he's valid please.

☆ Tom Kaulitz ☆

Tom, Tom, Tom

Believe it or not, Tom becomes quite submissive when he's very emphatuated with someone.

He really is at your mercy.

Yet it doesn't change the fact that he's a bit of a hot-head and just like Bill, he likes when he's right.

Let's not forget Tom was a bit of a punk activist growing up. You get what I mean when I say that be likes to get his point across. (Y'all need to read Bill's book if you speak/understand german it's a GEM. There's also a girl narrating some of it in spanish on YT :)

Unfortunately, arguments do happen often. Sometimes it’s really nothing but other times it can get pretty ugly.

When you guys are mad at each other everyone knows that it's better to leave you be because it will get loud.

Your fights range from small discussions that you have often to actual screaming matches when it gets bad.

It's inevitable for the both of you to raise your voices as each other in these cases.

The reasons may vary. It can be miscommunication, ESPECIALLY in 2006-8 when you were still young teens experiencing the world of fame.

Jealousy, for sure. I can see Tom being skilled enough at hiding it but he’s very possessive still.

And well, it’s still Tom. Again if you focus on his earlier years of fame the amount of girls throwing themselves at him can definitely be a cause of conflict.

Unless you’re very chill about it.

There’s definitely still possessiveness on Tom’s side.

I feel like neither of you would really know how to process the frustration.

A little thing to take into consideration is that you’d be the couple that argues, yell that you hate each other and then 10 minutes later you’ll be back to normal and never speak of it again.

Which you need to work on.

It’s because of this very reason that some of your fighting topics can be repetitive.

From what the twins have confessed, they could get pretty aggressive with their surroundings.

Tom would never, NEVER, raise a hand at you. No need to worry.

But the items around him can’t say the same.

He’s the kind of person that feels the anger in him build up physically and needs some release. When he’s fuming, in the worst of scenarios some tables would be kicked or some object would fly around. Just never at you.

This habit does get worked on throughout time though, he matures and grows.

The only physical fight that would ever go down is a pillow fight. Or play fights. Or in bed. But that’s another story.

A bit similar to Bill, Tom needs some time to cool off, just does it more impulsively.

He would walk out sometimes because it’s far too overwhelming.

Makeup sex is a big thing in your relationship.

Tom would love to express himself better and talk things through he simply needs help doing it.

Maybe you’re the help he needs.

[honeytonedhottie]

validating self⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🪷

why is this important : begin by acknowledging the importance of validating urself. you are with urself 24 hours of the day, for every single day of ur life till the day that u die. so ofc ur relationship with urself is going to be the most important. so treat it accordingly.

let urself live : you are only human. ur going to have preferences, fears, desires. dont deny urself those things!! live ur life fully, give urself permission to make mistakes. do it for the plot.

be self centered : "the world doesn't revolve around u" is such a big lie bcuz its literally YOUR life so yes it does revolve around you. everyone is self centered to a certain degree and u have to be willing to do whats best for u at all stages of ur life.

confidence and self love : confidence RADIATES. and the thing about confidence is, no one knows if ur faking it or not so just fake it till u make it. a lot of my confidence comes from who i am in general. find reasons to love urself. ur personality traits, mindset, achievements, thoughts literally ANYTHING. and remember, love isn't conditional, so even when u have bad days or days that just feel off, you are still all that u say you are.

ur in control : know and take responsibility for urself and ur life. dont just take advice -> apply. dont just talk that talk -> walk that walk. stand on business, always. dont be a victim, its your OWN life

[dollfaceirene]

irene's 101 guide on how to improve your self concept

hear ye, hear ye! I heard you're tryna improve your self concept but have absolutely no idea where to start so i've made this post to help aid you and hopefully answer your question on the 'how' of improving your self concept.

Firstly, what is your self concept? Your self concept is basically who you perceive youself to be.

For example, if i was to say "do you think you can manifest a sp?" and your response was "ofc not, im not worthy enough" ya da ya da ya, then you perceive yourself as someone who isn't worthy enough for a sp.

Here are some reasons why your self concept may be a lil shaky & how to fix it

You always seek validation from the 3D

As someone who's known about the loa for like 2 years now??, it's basically the unspoken rule to not seek validation from the 3D of your desires materialising because,

a) the 4D (your imagination & inner self) is the cause and the 3D (outer reality) is the effect

b) The 3D = neutral, it will only reflect whatever assumptions, desires, etc that you persist in.

How to fix it?: Become present in your 4D/imagination, thats only what matters. Affirm you only seek validation in your 4D, visualise, etc because at the end of the day, it will always be 4D ➨ 3D, not the other way round!

2 . You easily waver

Wavering = switching between states, Do you find yourself persist in one assumption (one thats the new story) but as soon as you see the opposite in the 3D, you find yourself re-affirming the old story again? Then you're wavering!

How to fix it?: Have some self discipline! Whenever you find yourself affirming the old story, clock it then affirm/visualise, etc whatever correlates to the new story. Remember, the more you repeat the new story, the more the old story becomes dead to you because you will be so used to being fulfilled in the new story, you wont even bat an eye at the old one.

3. You assume you can't manifest 'large' manifestations but others can

C'mon now, nobody is born with ultra special manifestation abilities that make them manifest better than other people, everyone has the same limitless abilities when it comes to the law of assumption, if one person can manifest a mansion, why can't you? You are as capable as manifesting anything as anyone else!

How to fix it?: Honestly just acknowledge that you are among everyone who is a master manifestor, its litch in your DNA to be a master manifestor! I suggest affirming master manifestor-related affirmations to help you be fulfilled in the state of being a master manifestor.

TIPS & ADVICE

You may feel like consuming LOA content is good for helping you and stuff and its honestly fine to read LOA content when you are feeling unsure but it gets overwhelming when you overconsume content since alot of LOA content may contradict each other, as people write their advice based on their on beliefs. This is why i recommend just consuming "back-to-the-basics" typa posts and when you feel content, apply it! (instead of constantly looking from post to post on "how to manifest" when you already know.

2. Affirmation tapes are a GAMEEE CHANGERRRRR! I really recommend Indigo Detry's ones and listen to them when you are doing activities that dont really require concentration (e.g art, reading, etc).

3. If you're looking for good loa youtubers i really recommend Indigio Detry and Manifest it, Finesse it (GOATS FRRR😩😩)

OUTRO

I hope you enjoyed this post and it helped you in any way; please let me know if you have any questions as i would be happy to answer them <3

[heart4gyu]

just for show pt.2 || mc!heeseung x ‪mc‬!reader

PT.1 || PT.3 || note: i honestly didn’t know where i wanted the story to go so let me know your thoughts guys! it rly motivates me when you guys have something to say abt my writing… i think i like it & ofc this definitely leaves room for a pt.3 (lmk ??) hope you guys enjoy tho ^_^!

the longer you thought about it the more you realized it really wasn’t heeseung’s fault. it wasn’t his fault that everyone did react so well to everything the two of you did. and it wasn’t his fault that you caught yourself falling for his kindness.

you weren’t in love with him or anything, so why was the thought of his possible rejection so… heartbreaking. maybe it was the embarrassment of falling for someone who just wanted to be your friend.

you didn’t know why you felt so conflicted but this was your job and you were going to do your best at it no matter what. when you got home that night, you told yourself that you’d keep your relationship with heeseung professional. even if the friendship that was growing between you was one of the most genuine you’ve had in a while.

the next day, you and your manager were the first to show up from both of your teams. you both sat and talked while you waited, and she mentioned that you and heeseung were invited to host at an upcoming award show.

she told you that you didn’t have to make your decision right away. of course, you told her about what happened so she wanted to make sure you knew the choice was yours. but you both knew that declining the offer with no valid reason wouldn’t look right.

“it’s okay, you can tell them that i accept,” you said, looking down at your hands.

“then congratulations on your first gig as an award show host,” she said, leaning in to place a hand over yours. you looked up and she gave you a cheerful nod.

“well we don’t know if it’s certain yet,” you replied with a small chuckle, still nodding back as a thanks.

“no it is, heeseung accepted right away yesterday,” she said, raising her eyebrows at you, making you roll your eyes at her.

“thanks for keeping it professional,” you said, and you both shared a laugh before the conversation, thankfully, switched to another topic.

after some time had passed, you decided to grab something to eat from the breakfast table that was set for the mcs and artists. you filled up a small bowl with some fruits and a small croissant.

“y/n?” you heard from behind you. you knew that voice well, so you took a deep breath before responding.

“good morning, heeseung,” you replied, suddenly very interested in which fork you should choose.

“uh… would you like a drink? we picked some up at the cafe on the way here,” he offered, with only one cup in his hand. you looked down at it then back up at him.

“oh that’s nice of you but i don’t really like coffee,” you said, trying to move around him but he stepped in front of you again.

“i- i know you don’t. it’s tea actually, the way you ordered it last time,” he said abruptly, a slight blush appearing high on his cheeks.

you let out a small sigh as you took the cup in your empty hand and he gave you a small smile. he almost looked relieved as he took a small step back. he didn’t move more than that though and he looked like he wanted to say more. the silence was beginning to get a bit too awkward for you though.

“thank you. uh… i’ll go first then,” you said, returning the small smile. you brushed past him lightly but you could feel him watching you all the way out of the room. your face felt like it was on fire by the time you stepped into the dressing room.

how could you even think about getting over your feelings when he made you react like this? he only looked at you, you barely brushed past him, he remembered your drink order… but that didn’t mean anything. maybe his manager wrote it down or something.

you forced yourself to forget about it as your team did your hair and makeup. you usually sat by heeseung for this part but when he came in you were already finished and making your way to put your interview outfit on.

heeseung knew you were avoiding him. the next time he saw you you were already on the set reading over your lines, which you usually did in the dressing room together.

“hey, y/n, can we talk for a second?” he asked as he approached the small stage.

“i think we’ll be getting started any moment now so… maybe later,” you said, knowing you’d be leaving the second your segments were recorded.

a minute passed before the director walked in and started giving orders to everyone. then the lights and cameras were on, mics were being handed out, and you both were putting on the perfect show that everyone loved.

you smiled and laughed at heeseung the way you always did. for a second he forgot that you no longer wanted anything to do with him. he found himself paying attention to every single movement you made. the way you placed your hand on his arm, the way your cheeks rose when he made a joke, how your eyes sparkled under the bright lights as you watched him talk.

he wasn’t sure why your conversation the other day bothered him so much. he wanted to clear up the confusion more than anything but he didn’t know what that was in the first place. why were you suddenly so upset at him? the reason didn’t matter just the thought of you being hurt by him made him so mad at himself.

he was pulled out of his thoughts when a couple of the lights turned off and the director was making the call for a break. when he looked back down to where you were stood beside him you were already gone. he needed to talk to you. it’s all that he could think about since the other day.

you had ran off to the dressing room to touch up your own makeup. well, really you just wanted any excuse to be on your own and away from heeseung of course. but as if you summoned him yourself, there he was walking through the door.

“oh, there you are,” he said, his eyes lighting up when they came in contact with yours in the mirror. you didn’t say anything just finished applying some gloss to your lips. you quickly tried to make your way out of the room but he stood blocking the door.

“can we talk, please?” he asked. you took a step back when you looked up and his eyes were doing all the begging for him. then took another step back when he moved closer, eyes still not breaking away from yours.

“there’s nothing to talk about, heeseung,” you said, shaking your head and looking anywhere but his eyes. before you knew it he had walked you all the way back to the vanity. you let out a gasp as the makeup shook from how abruptly you hit the table.

“then why are you avoiding me?” he said, head leaned down to try and look you in the eyes. as if the answers he searched for would be found in them.

“i’m not! and we were great on the show like always so there’s no problem,” you replied, wanting nothing more than to be out of this room.

“i’m not stupid and you know that’s not what i meant,” he said, speaking quieter the closer he got to you. your bodies weren’t touching but the proximity still made you feel like you couldn’t breathe. “just tell me what i did wrong.”

“you didn’t do anything wrong! and there’s no more discussion! so let’s just go back out there and do exactly what we were doing before,“ you replied, finally gaining some confidence and looking up to meet his gaze. “everything is for the audience, for the show anyway.”

he looked you in your eyes, so intensely you wanted so badly to break the eye contact but you couldn’t let yourself back down now. the corner of his lip lifted so slightly you almost missed it and he looked down to see your hand gripping the edge of the table.

“everything just for the show,” he said, but you couldn’t tell if he was asking. he leaned just a bit closer as he placed his hands behind yours on the table, your noses practically touching now.

it took everything in you to not let your chest rise and fall so obviously hard and for you not to close the gap despite the tension that you knew he could feel too. why was he doing this? you couldn’t let him win. something switched in your mind now because all you wanted was for him to feel what you felt.

“just like you said,” you replied, placing a hand on his chest to hold him in place. you raised your head and your lips were so close it felt like they were magnets attracted to each other. but you didn’t move any closer, all you did was stare up into his eyes. you shifted your eyes down from his eyes to his lips once… twice… then you felt it.

you could feel his heart beating hard and fast in his chest, and that’s all you needed. all you wanted to know before you pushed him away. he let out a breath that he didn’t know he’d been holding in, as he took a step back of his own.

“our break is over soon. why don’t we save some of the theatrics for the cameras,” you said, as you walked away knowing you successfully gave him a taste of his own medicine. he wasn’t the only that could make someone fall for him.

[listleven]

Simple guide on manifesting ✨

Choosing what you want to manifest. This is genuinely the hardest part. Especially if you are a beginner and you think you choose something a bit out of reach for you.... no. Anything is possible. This is classic but even the word impossible has Im possible in it. The thing with this is if you are trying for the first time and have had bad experiences or are expecting bad you are going to try and go for something more attainable or completely over consume. AND THATS OK. Practice is great. Go for what you think is smaller if it helps you ease. But you can manifest even with doubts bc despite the misinformation you don't need to "feel" like you have it. What happens a lot is people give up and stop persisting when they don't see it in the 3d. So they have "backup options". And then they create this cycle of fear that if they didn't manifest this, will this work?? RELAX!! It will.

Persisting. Of course you've heard a dozen times before but why do you think its so popular. Now here you're going to persist until your desires materialize in the 3d. AKA when your subconscious mind has been impressed. Even in doubt you will persist bc it does not make a difference. You will THINK like the person who has it not feel if you can't. Thats literally it.

TIPS:

In order to think like the person living in the end you can write a story from that POV, affirm, meditate, guided meditations to help you relax, I use subs that use present tense, affirmation tapes, SATs, and sm more.

A little tidbit of my own is affirming that the 3d is no more real than a dream. Im going to make a separate posts in all the ways dreaming and the 3d are so similar. That way you can say stuff like "ah this doesn't matter its just a dream in the true reality I have everything I want." This can also induce lucid dreams because I do reality checks and confirm to myself that im dreaming and immediately start meditating to "ground myself" for 5 seconds by doing this Ive done it in my dreams.

Refocus to the 4d if you're ever in doubt. Everything right now, isn't real not time, or physical objects. Go back to the imagination. Its kind of funny right how everyone gaslighted us into believing imagination is not the reality and we had to "come back to the real world" LMOA its literally vice versa.

If you are persisting and don't see it in the 3d, don't you dare give up to manifest something more "attainable" this creates a loop where you go back to number 1 over and over. Remember you already have it. How do you know? Because this is no more real than a dream and you are the validation.

Accept the 4d as the only real reality

If you have had "failed attempts" Revise. Bc in the 4d no you didn't??? Ex. all those failed pure conscious attempts are not real , you actually have induced them in the 4d. If you keep persisting and accept that all those "attempts" worked, the 3d will conform.

Reminding yourself you have something and reality checks are the same thing. Going back to my prevoius point about my own tidbit. The most biggest similarity in the 3d and dreaming is you can control both using the 4d. We all know how reality checks work right. Persisting works the same way. I mentioned this in a previous tip above. I’ll do many reality checks confirming the 3d is a dream (bc it’s not real and stuff) and I’ll “ground myself” this allows me to trigger lucid dreams when I sleep AND I’ll add in something like “ofc I’m dreaming in the true reality I have —-“. That’s literally how manifestation works. If something “ fails” NO IT DIDNT. If you got a bad grade after manifesting in a good one, what? But you did get a good grade. In your 4d the real reality. Remember. Remind yourself that none of this is real. You did get that A. You are dreaming. None of this is real.

There are no such things as failed attempts. AGAIN going back to the prevoius tip with revision. That did happen. You did shift. Let’s do a “which reality am I in” check right now. Oh and would u look at that you are in your dr.

I’m definitely going to post more about the last two bullet points to give more clarification.

UPDATE: posted a link explaining the second last point, it's right on it. I put one on accepting the 4d as well one mentioning time. Also I will make one on the last point later. I think most of this is clear but if u want me to post on any other point lmk.

~ with love, Jyspire

[bloodstainedsaint]

eugene roe x best friend + medic! reader hcs

word count: 900+

warnings: mentions of war (obv) but overall fluffy happy stuff :)

notes: this is really self-indulgent but i hope y'all enjoy it too

first of all, i feel like you're the only person that eugene would ever call by their nickname (at least before babe)

his nickname(s) for you would probably be based off your name or where you're from (if you're not also from louisiana), like “bluebonnet” for texas

your nickname(s) for him would be gene, bayou, or my favorite: genie

when you call him by his real name, that's how you know it's a serious matter

someone would ask: “why do you call doc roe genie?”

“‘cause he makes your wishes come true when he treats you”

if you're from louisiana, then that’s how you know him; otherwise, you guys met in the army, or thru my personal hc: you went to nursing school in louisiana and met him in a town there before the war started

being friends with eugene means that you’re either an extrovert or actually an introvert who is less soft-spoken than eugene and is therefore the more outgoing one between the two of you (bc someone has to be the talker and it's not going to be him)

when he gets mad at you (usually coming from a place of concern, like you were being too risky saving someone…or you didn't eat), he cusses at you/reprimands you in french, and if you don’t know french, then you’re just hearing angry french noises

will give you chocolate bars, a listening ear, and words of advice when you're feeling down (bc his love language is acts of service and quality time)

you’re there to calm him down whenever all his bottled up emotions are too much to suppress any further and he blows up, like with winters and welsh or when he returns from bastogne

you let him know that what he’s feeling is entirely valid and shouldn’t be swallowed down

he’d definitely go off at/death stare anyone messing with you, and you'd do the same for him (but everyone in the company loves y'all so i don't see this happening)

you’re the one who encourages him to talk to easy company’s men, because you know that you could lose them but you’re friends with them anyway and you want him to get close to them too

when eugene’s smiling, you’re smiling because you just want to see him happy

actually, he smiles the most around you, even if it's the fleeting kind

you, as you snuff out the cigarette he was smoking: “how do you smoke and you're a medic? that stuff kills you”

cue eugene hitting you with a slightly annoyed look (he does that a lot) (with love ofc)

when he comes back from the town of bastogne for the first time, you like to tease him about meeting renée

“someone finally understood your gibberish!” or “bayou, why does your face look red? usually you look sickly and pale”

bc that boy looks like a ghost in the ardennes

you’re cheerful when he makes a friend in babe heffron, because until then eugene was only sticking by you

during off-duty times where no one's actively in danger, the two of you are inseparable; where one goes the other is not far, and that goes for anywhere the company takes you

you guys shared a foxhole in bastogne before dike told you two to split up so the company didn’t lose two medics with one shelling

but before that you would huddle up with him for warmth, your head on his shoulder and his head resting on your head

sibling bond fr

from a distance, he smiles as he watches you interact and laugh with the easy guys until you pull him in so he could be part of the camaraderie too

when someone yells medic, one of you goes and the other stays if someone else gets hurt for max efficiency

when the two of you do work together, it's like you guys are in sync, hardly needing to use words to communicate what the other needs to do

you like to mess up his already spiky hair

you can tell when he’s feeling despondent, so you just sit there with him in silence, keeping him company with a few jokes or random stories here and there to get his mind off of things, seeing as he's not really one to vent

if you like someone in the company, trust that eugene is scrutinizing them, making sure that they’re a good match for you and that they’re going to treat you right

he’ll also warn you that having a crush in the military or being in a relationship during war could be dangerous; he has your best interests at heart, but you have to tell him that you know what you're getting into

he WILL tease you a little bit though

“want me to go injure (your crush’s name) so you can treat him?”

cue you smacking him with a “gene!”

he’s protective over you; he’ll stand slightly in front of you when shit starts going down, and if you’re close enough, he’ll check that you're okay first before going on to the rest of the men

you best believe that after the war, you guys are still the best of friends and will keep in touch and visit each other, even if your paths diverge

the rapport between fellow medics is unmatched, and that’s especially the case for you two <3

-

taglist: @mads-weasley, @ronsparky, @dcyllom, @malarkgirlypop

[mysterycitrus]

i know you've been talking about jason lately so i'll ask about smth different... robin jason (sorry)

idk idk lately i've been wanting to take a peek at his robin comics for the sake of writing fic (ofc...) but i'd like to hear what u think before that, a summary of sorts if u may (i also wanna contrast what u say with what i get out of it so yeah)

i feel like his robin days are so muddled by his identity as red hood later on, and even before that it was his death. u had people constantly blaming jason for dying in text (or else they'd have to admit bruce can make mistakes and everyone in dc is allergic to doing that) and painting him like someone reckless and violent (classist editorial u need to DIE), and then people in fanon painting him like a sweet fella who would do nothing wrong and as well as being bruce's Only Actual Son etc etc for the sake of making the situation around him all the more sadder (yeah yeah pathetic meow meow we've all seen it)

and i'm just curious bc i rlly wonder what the actual comics say about him, most likely something in the middle of this? exams are killing me but my god i'll come back to life after im done just to read jason robin's days... have a good day !!!

the difficulty with reading about jason as robin is that there are three primary periods that all differ fairly dramatically from each other — pre-crisis jason todd is a strawberry blond acrobat who’s almost adopted by dick grayson before becoming robin; post-crisis jason todd is a kid from crime alley who steals the wheels off the batmobile before becoming robin; and post-crisis, post-utrh jason todd is a very angry, very violent kid who becomes a cautionary tale after he gets himself killed (something he is often blamed for).

we can walk the line here. pre-crisis jason isn’t particularly relevant because so much of robin!jason’s stories depend on his reinvention after the reboot. all the crucial factors leading up to death in the family — growing up in the alley, both his mothers, his relationship with the robin mantle, his developing relationship with dick grayson, his slow schism from bruce, his relative isolation from other superheroes — are all crucial to who he is, especially after his death.

fanon about jason is annoying because there are valid criticisms that can be made about how he’s written with regressive, classist stereotypes, but as always it pivots way too far in one direction. jason wasn’t the “happy” or “angry” robin in the same way that dick wasn’t the happy or angry robin — they’re both characters that possess more than a single emotion. it’s true that jason was later written to be more explicitly violent (to contrast him with dick) but also like… they’re both pretty similar characters that differ in interesting ways. dick created robin to be a symbol of hope and joy. jason carried that on when he took up the mantle. they can both be angry at stuff without the world falling apart. it’s not that serious.

the dialogue about dick being a child soldier but jason being the true son makes me want to tear my hair out. jason became robin because bruce missed dick and was afraid of being alone. they’re both his gd kids. acting as though bruce wayne doesn’t love dick grayson so much that extra-dimensional beings can clock it is so fucking stupid. it once again ties into fanon’s obsession with each character only getting to be “one” thing. tim is smart, which means he’s the smartest. jason said robin made him magic, which means he’s happy all the time. dick chased after zucco in a grief spiral, which means he’s the violently angry one, with no other character traits. dick can’t have been nice to jason because he’s nice to tim, etc. seems a little silly, no?

i think i’ve only read jason’s brief run as robin once, though ive gone through a death in the family + a lonely place of dying a bunch of times, so ig my advice for reading him is to keep in mind the context in which he was created. dc comics was reeling from losing dick grayson as robin, and were really throwing anything at the wall to get something to stick. many, many negative tropes are baked into his introduction, and thanks to writers like jeph loeb and scott lobdell they have compounded over time. jason’s updated backstory is, with actual critical intent by the writer, a really good examination of how poverty and class will affect how someone views the world. his death was not his fault — and removing sheila haywood from that warehouse purposely makes his story less tragic. he was a good kid! and he was angry for a good reason. if jason had lived, i believe he would’ve carried on the robin tradition and left bruce behind once their differences became insurmountable.

[the-kipsabian]

wrestling fic writers!!

i have decided to be the change i wanna see, so lets do a nice little thing for each other, as a community full of incredible and talented writers. yes this is writer specific only, but thats cause thats where the main problem of people not interacting with creative works lies in this fandom as far as i can tell and have seen people talking about it especially in the last couple of months

if you read this, please add links to your written works. it can be just a single fic youre really proud of, your writing blog, your writing tag, your ao3 account, anything where your works can be found

and if you leave your link here, PLEASE check out someone else that has left their works, and interact with them. leave them a comment, even just a kudos, REBLOG their fic, etc. interacting is the keyword i want to emphasize here, along with building a sort of a masterpost of where to find people writing in this fandom

and if you are not a writer, youre still highly encouraged to interact with this post and share it and show love to the writers in this fandom, obviously!! i think that should go without saying, but adding it in anyways

a bit more about my vision and resources and such under the read more, but thats the gist of it. happy linking and please be kind and supportive to each other!! 💜

nobody is too big or too small to add their things on this list. if you write and post anything in this fandom whatsoever, be it fics or drabbles or headcanons, any companies or any kind of ships or reader inserts or any content whatsoever no matter how 'dead dove dont eat' or hell even if its just meta, we welcome all here and nobody can say that one thing is less valid than another. just please tag your content accordingly, especially if theres content warnings, and feel free to mention what you write, who you write, any info you wish to leave that would help people before they click on your links. but even so, that should not and hopefully will not deter people from interacting, no matter what it is. someones trash is another ones treasure, i promise you

and unless the amount gets really overwhelming, im personally going to be checking out everyone that leaves something here. unless it squeaks me out, but even then, i'll spread the word. and i just wish as many people as possible will do the same, and not just use this as a potential board to only get eyes on their stuff. ofc thats also the point, but you should give as much, if not more, than you get. we need to be kind and supportive of one another (besides, from personal experience, if you show love to someone else, they are more likely to do it back than without you taking the first step, so... pay it forward)

as for resources, heres a few links that should be helpful in leaving comments and feedback. of course everyone does their own thing and no comment is too big or too small to leave, but for those who need them. if you have anything you'd like added to this list, dont hesitate to get in touch or drop it in the post yourself!!

101 comment starters

ao3 floating comment box

kudos html

dont know how to comment? easy solutions

a quick hot guide to commenting (by yours truly)

an overall guide to appreciating fanfic writers

and just in general.. leave people comments. leave them asks about their projects. just go over and gush about their work. i know it sounds embarrassing but writers love nothing more than to hear that someone likes what they are doing. if you find a fic that hasnt been updated in forever, comment on it. it might just be the spark the author needs to continue. while kudos and likes are nice, and just as valuable to some, its definitely in the words the people leave for them that matter the most. im not saying this to put pressure on anyone, its just how it is, and i feel like unless people are writers themselves, and even then sometimes, thats just hard to grasp, especially if the writer is a smaller and less popular one who doesnt get a lot of traffic in the first place

i think thats all. just be nice and considered to everyone, reblog peoples works, this post with others add ons and so forth. and if i find anyone talking shit here or at other writers for something they share, you'll be blocked and im probably taking your kneecaps. be fucking nice. we are all struggling here and we need to stick together

happy sharing and commenting 💜💜

[afsosville]

Shen Jiu, if he was actually a competent shizun

My HC for how Shen Jiu is like with kids without trauma/healed trauma and shit: Honestly with a person like Shen Jiu, I can only see his interactions with kids going one of two ways, him being so very fond of them, and ofc, how he's like in canon. Ok look, in the third book under Shen Jiu's character description, it said that Shen Jiu definitely had more reasons to relate to Luo Binghe than to hate him yet he still chose violence for some fucked up reason. So yes, I for one headcanon that when he's in a better place mentally, he would choose to be doting and fiercely protective. We've seen that he's capable of being like that with Ning Yingying (and Qiu Haitang), and it's not outwardly obvious, but we can see it with the way she behaves around Shen Yuan when she thinks that's still Shen Jiu. She definitely acts like a spoiled younger sister/daughter who looks up to her guardian and shows a great amount of trust in him. So just imagine if that was extended to all of his disciples.

No coz if he was spared enough kindness for him to actually want to do better, he would choose the first option and emphasize with LBH instead BECAUSE smn gave HIM a chance and emphasized with HIM. LBH and SJ are parallels, and so whatever happens to SJ, it would be reflected onto LBH.

I am dead. I am so dead. I'm bleeding out so fast and goddammit it HURTS- SJ and LBH's whole story hurts sm.

Anyways-

I kinda like to imagine that when Shen Jiu's heart settles on the fact that maybe, just maybe, bleeding on ppl who didn't cut him and taking his hurt out on LBH is a no good very bad idea, he's going to end up over compensating for his whole fucking childhood and the way he projects on him is completely flipped.

"I'm going to treat you the way I wanted to be treated and ur going to feel loved and safe do you hear me?!?"

"Yes shizun (*＾v＾*)"

Here's the thing, he may be fond of his disciples, but he is still shit at taking care of them. He was robbed of his own childhood, so he doesn't know what normal kids act like in the first place. And he has no idea what the typical stages of development are and he would totally underestimate how dumb kids who didn't grow up like him would be. So yeah, shit at babysitting but loves them anyhow, for the same reason he would hate them in canon. (They remind him too much of himself). Idk, him being bad with kids regardless of trauma is so funny to me.

That moment when it clicks for him that he may not hate them after all: "oh gods these brats actually like…me? Me? Fuck what the hell do I do?! This is why no one should trust me with kids Aghhhhh!! Still think they're brats tho :( but they're my brats >:) "

He'd be like Shifu from Kung Fu Panda as a shizun. He's strict, harsh as hell and shows no mercy when training, coz becoming a cultivator/martial artist is fucking hard and requires alot of discipline anyway. So he really is doing his best to make sure his disciples come out on top. Shen Jiu is a prideful person by nature, it's just that his disciples are his pride. He's always there for them when they need him, and he will make sure that none of his disciples will ever have to go through anything he has. He wants to be the reliable adult that his disciples seek out. (He will never let it be known that he seeks his disciples' approval and validation as much as they seek his.)

Really fucking specific but idgaf. My social teacher brought chocolate bars to class and gave them out one time. After a few moments she asked if everyone was enjoying themselves. After she heard us agree she went on a lesson about slave labour and the production of goods in underdeveloped countries. Shen Jiu. Would do this. Because he’s a madman.

And Binghe. He would still end up a little unhinged. Like sure being under a master that abuses you will fuck you up one way but if you had a guardian who will start genocides and watch cities burn for you… It does things.

Shen Jiu is morally ambiguous as fuck and that rubs off onto his disciples. He is still a terrible role model, but his kids wouldn't trade him for the world:)

Would be the type that gives 5 yr olds knives for birthdays, bc he had a shit ton of them hidden away on his person when he was that age and knew how to use them when he was on the streets.

“What? It's an appropriate gift! The kid needs to have smt to protect herself! Yeah I know she didn’t grow up on the streets so what? No need to rub it in. Ok fine! I’ll teach her then just shut up. Let’s go Yan-er, some people just don’t appreciate the value of giving practical gifts WAIT PUT THAT DOWN-”

Is this lowkey self indulgent? Yes. Do I particularly care? No. I just want my favourite blorbos to be happy, is that too much to ask for? My Roman Empire is that SJ probably could've been a crazy good shizun if he had a chance to heal. If you've read The Hidden Flower, then you know exactly what I mean.

I already made a post with all of the soft BingJiu fics ik. I could literally make another one rn where they're just chilling platonically, or even as an adoptive family bc I have no chill like that and read all the SJ fics there is to read.

It's already summer and all I have going for me is my job rn and I am sooooo close to going through all nearly 400 pages under the SJ tag coz I simply can.

[cookiesupplier]

Every Rose Has Its Thorns - Part Twenty-Seven

pairing: Ricky Olson x ofc x Chris 'Motionless' Cerulli

warnings/tropes: slow burn, soulmates, strangers to enemies to lovers, betrayal, angst, fluff, smut, language, panic attack, stalking, online bullying, serious mental health issues.

summary: In a world where soulmates inexplicably receive a tattoo that will match that of their soulmate the moment they turn eighteen years old, being famous and covered in very visible tattoos can make finding your true soulmate a questionable fate. For everyone involved.

❗❗ author’s note: This chapter includes serious mental health situations in the past of a character, involving in this case voluntary treatment in a mental facility. Treatment for Depression, Anxiety, and Grief Counselling. Please beware of these potential triggers. I am in no way a medical professional writing this.❗❗

an2: finished editing last night, so you are getting this baby EARLY, going to try and be back to my usual schedule! Now.. concerning this part.. *hides*

tags: @tearfallpixie @cncohshit @jordynyingling0219 @faceless-mirror @nyxthedestroyerofworlds @wild-child-7747 @witchyweeb34 @black-damask1999 @jilliemiw86 @ilovesamkiszka @lyschko666 @lacktoesandtoddlerants @bngurngheart @collapsedglasshouses @laurpartyprogram @sunsshinesunny @malerieee

Tag List is Open, please let me know if you would like to be added to it or in general.

Talia took in a surprised breath when Chris said he’d been committed. She would never in her life say that she thought he was the type, because who in their mind was the type, was she the type? No. No one was a person she could look at and think, oh, that would be someone she for sure thought should end up in an institution at some point in their life. She would absolutely hate herself if she did. Even the people who talked to themselves didn’t deserve to be thought of that way, they were people who were in desperate need of help, not people who needed to be judged like that, it was cruel. Still, at that moment, knowing what she did already, she was lost.

She glanced from Chris to Ricky, unsure of what to think, and saw the concerned expression passed between them, Rick reached for Chris’ hand, and she swallowed slightly, her soulmate tattoo tingling, but it wasn’t upsetting, it was… she wasn’t sure how she’d describe the feeling. When did she start categorising them? Pleased.. Whatever was driving these feelings, it was pleased.. Seeing him comfort his friend, seeing this side of him, was that it, was it pleased, this, the bond between them. She watched, staying quiet as they spoke softly, whispering, not wanting to interfere, but hearing whispered words, knowing they weren’t for her though.

“Are you sure..”

“She’s bound to find out-”

“But-”

“Rick, I know you’re worried, I get it, but I trust her.”

As Chris’ whispered explanation of why he should tell her to Ricky continued, Talia chose to purposely pushed them from her mind. She didn’t want to be unworthy of that trust, unworthy of her friendship with Chris, because with how close they had gotten, he meant the world to her. He had become more important to her than he could possibly know, and it, and the thought that he was willing to trust her with something so personal like this.. Looking down at her hands, trying not to think about the fact that she’d just trusted them with something that she’d not spoken of out-loud about since she’d left the facility, to anyone. Not even Ava.

She should tell her the truth, she should tell all her friends and hope that they won't hate her for hiding it from them for so long. Taking in a deep breath, holding it for a moment to ground herself, before letting it out slowly, just grounding herself for a moment while the boys sorted themselves out. Chris’ voice, clear and no longer whispering, brought her back.

“You okay, JellyBean?”

Chris looked across the table, whispering with Risky, semi-arguing with him about the validity of telling her the whole story about everything that had happened. Rick didn’t understand why he had to tell her, when part of the reason his life was as peaceful as it was from stalkers and shit these days, was that no one outside the immediate band and crew that we trusted implicitly, knew. The thing was, he wasn’t sure he could explain it to Ricky, but even though he’d only known her for a short time, he did trust her, especially after hearing what they’d just heard.

This was a woman who has had her soul bond ripped open by not only her own flesh and blood family, whom she could no longer trust, but strangers that her family put their trust in more than her, and she still came out fighting to keep going. He’d seen her over this past week, sitting in that café, laughing, and smiling, and was the most wonderfully sweet person, even after what she’d been through. Yes, he trusted her, because, above all she was right here, sitting with her soulmate, she didn’t give in, she didn’t give up. Well, some might say she did, but she didn’t do that because of the doctors, she did that because of a fucked up stalker that tipped the scales just a little bit too far, and frankly, Chris got it now. The day Talia had seen Ricky with Grace, had seen them together, and seen what she thought him to be, happy, he more than understood why she took that giant step back and didn’t fight against it. When someone you were destined to love was happy, all you wanted, was that happiness for them.

When Talia’s eyes opened and met his and a soft smile curving across that beautiful face, Chris returned it,

“There she is, are you okay? We don’t have to talk about this if it’s going to be too much?”

And yet it was Chris’ hand that Ricky was squeezing slightly, his fingers tight, he knew how he got about the whole thing, if he only knew lately.. If he only knew.

“I’m okay, Chris, are you?”

He nodded slightly in response to her worry, just keeping his gentle smile.

“Yes, but I should really start from the beginning, it’s a bit of a story, some of which you probably know, but not everything. Are you okay with that?”

Hearing everything, Chris didn’t want to put this all on her, it had been an intense day, and he didn’t want her to feel like she had to take the weight of his story on top of it at the same time. However, before he had much time to worry about whether she was going to have a hard time with the situation, she was shifting her chair along the table so she could reach for his other hand, a comfort from both of them, his fingers curving around her delicate ones.

“As long as you’re comfortable, Chris, I’m not going anywhere.”

His smile growing at the thought, squeezing both of their hands gently,

“Well, you probably know I was in a long-term relationship, we were engaged, wedding planning, had a date set.. Venue booked.. Her dress was picked out and being altered, it was..”

He sighed remembering, looking down at the table, just finding a spot on the wood, barely paying attention to the fact that neither of them had let go of his hands, but at the same time, his fingers were clinging to theirs a bit tightly. Chris needed the touch not to get lost in the memories, for in more ways than one, which he knew she’d understand. 

“It’s common knowledge in the fan base that she wasn’t my soulmate, but neither of us cared, we loved each other, and wanted to be together.. At least that's what I thought, how we felt at the time.”

Chris shook his head slightly, this wasn’t even the hardest part to talk about, but it all lead to why he’d been committed, because if he just said the little bit at the end, it didn’t tell close to the full picture.

“A few weeks before we were meant to be married, a woman claiming to be my soulmate turned up, her tattoo was perfect, a fake, but perfect, so she thought. I knew she wasn’t my soulmate, I proved it easily, I’d laid out false trails for my soulmate tattoo years ago. Where it was, what it was, how big it was, she was not my soulmate.”

He felt Ricky’s hand squeeze his firmly, he knew, Ricky had been through all of this with him, he’d had to deal with the whole debacle as well, and now again with Grace on a whole different level. Chris felt for Rick, because hiding his tattoo was so much worse for him than Chris, at least his could go under his shirt most days, there was a reason that there wasn’t very many shirtless photographs out there of him in the world. Those that there are, he’d covered in paint and makeup usually, so it worked for him.

“My fiancé, however, didn’t take it well, she tried to continue like it didn’t matter, but during the lead up to the wedding my fiancé became, distant. Worried about what she was thinking I tried to reassure her, I tried to help everything go as smoothly as humanly possible, but, nothing helped, nothing worked.. I loved her, and she.. A few days before the wedding she broke it off. She couldn’t handle the possibility my soulmate could turn up, and so publicly try to claim me.”

“The way she fucking said that, as if you were something for your soulmate to own.. Cunt.”

“Ricky!” Chris looked over at him, scolding him, despite the fact this was no the first time he’d heard him speak of her in such a hostile way.

“What? She was! I’m sorry Chris, but what she did was fucking shit, I get it, she was having second thoughts, but she blamed you, and how you were famous, how and your soulmate could turn up at any time. Well funnily enough, her soulmate could have turned up at any fucking time too, but she didn’t think about that, now, did she?”

Chris took in a breath, yea, that was something he’d thought about as well, and Ricky was spot on, but he didn’t want to argue about it, not in front of- oh- he looked over towards Talia as he felt her squeeze his hand again.. Seeing her nod with a small smile, she got it.

“It’s okay, Chris, he’s right.. You both had other soulmates, her putting it on yours turning up, wasn’t fair. Especially if she loved you.”

“Exactly.”

His breath was shaky as Rick agreed with Talia,

“the Story isn’t over, and Ricky knows it, so…”

A half-hearted glare at Ricky which pointedly said a silent shut up, which earned a bit of a giggle from Talia, Chris smiled as he continued. 

“After the wedding was cancelled, I hit a patch of depression, which wasn’t helped when the stalker saw an opening, and started attacking my life since her main obstacle was suddenly gone. She came at me in so many different ways, you don’t want to know, it will keep you up at night, it was, frankly, terrifying thinking about all the different things that did and could have happened, I ended up in the hospital A&E more than once because of her, and it wasn’t pretty.”

Taking in a deep breath, he didn’t want to go into detail, because it was hard enough to talk about as he was, and Ricky being here with him, and knowing he wasn’t going to be home on his own after all of this, was a fucking comfort if he was being honest.

“Eventually they caught her, we were able to keep most of it out of the press, because the stress, the pain,  had me cracking.. But, but um.. About a little over two months after I was supposed to get married.. My soulmate tattoo..”

Chris’ voice cracked, and he felt both hands almost simultaneously grip his so tightly, even if only one of them knew for certain wasn’t coming, the other could fucking guess, there was one thing everyone in the world knew happened to the tattoos without a doubt.

“It turned white.”

The moment it did, he knew his soulmate had died.

“I never even got to meet them. Never knew who they were.. And ah,” Chris heaved a deep sigh, pausing before he continued. “Because of government regulations, everyone that loses a soulmate, whether met or not, bonded or not, I had to go through the mandatory grief counselling within six months. So, I knew that with everything that was happening, there was no way that I was going to be able to handle, ah, I couldn’t handle doing the basic therapy, so, I willingly admitted myself to a private confidential inpatient care, with a NDA twist. Of course, most facilities have those included when it comes to medical patients, but I went into one specifically for those trying to stay out of the press. Not just for grief counselling, either, but also for depression and generalised anxiety.”

Chris glanced at Rick, before looking towards Talia,

“Sort of felt like therapy for the soul for me sometimes.. And Talia, I hate that what you went through was so horrible.. Because it should have never been like that.. JellyBean.. They’re supposed to help you, listen to you.. Not assume, and from the sounds of it, that's all that they did to you.”

They hadn’t helped her, they’d listened to her parents and given in to the money that talked. Taking in a deep breath as he squeezed her hand back slightly, hating that she went through something so horrific when his time in the facility had been so therapeutic in the long run. Now, now, back to the whole point of why he was telling the story in the first place, back to the point of why everything was happening. Their soulmate marks.

“Ever since I finished my treatment, I’ve been kind of fascinated by all the theories and different studies involved with the soulmate phenomenon. It is a phenomenon, because no one can fully prove or explain how or why it even exists. Not one scientist in the world, that I have found in any publication, can scientifically prove a damn thing. For all the studies, and papers, it is all theoretical.. Even what's happening to you was nothing but a proposed theory that I’d read about, until now.”

Dividers by @saradika-graphics (roses) and @cafekitsune (trigger)

[stewieonthewall]

I can understand people perceiving the hug to just be a hug between besties and that’s totally valid but just like anything to do with pazzi, it’s never really what they do but it’s what the rest of the team does that always gives them away or makes everything 🤨🤨 like with that hug, from the front angle you saw KK legit have the biggest surprised smile on her face when they hugged and the other angle, you can clearly see her put her hands over her mouth and was completely cheesing plus you can see ice looking over at kk? and giving a knowing smile. Then you obvs had azzi giving kk a light shove at the end to get her to stop. Bonus: aubrey’s smile as p goes in for the hug and the way q looks at them in the photo that was posted.

It’s the same with that clip. Like yes, the way they were holding each other in that seemed intimate but you could also chalk it up to them being drunk or something, but it was ice and carol’s reaction afterwards that let you know something’s going on.

So many other examples tbh haha but y’all already know 😜. Like 97% of their interactions in public can definitely be explained as just very close besties behavior, but their teammates’ reactions always say otherwise. But ofc each to their own and like i said, i can definitely understand ppl that totally just see them as besties (and maybe they really are just that or maybe not, i guess we’ll never know until they want us to know!)

yes yes yes i so agree

bc don’t get me wrong like i’ve been getting the “undercutting tension” vibe in everything they do for a while now but that could very much be me going insane, bc most of what they’ve done i would do/have done w my bsf bc we’re like soul tied. but also i feel like it did have different energy like watching them i wasn’t like oh yeah that’s us fr ykwim?

vibes/energy whatever is sm harder to read tho which is why i base so much of it off of their teammates, as you said. when paige and nika hug, no one bats an eye. when paige and azzi hug, everyone (discreetly) throws a party lmao

bc of everything that’s happened, i think the other girlies get just as excited as we do when pazzi does interact in public 😭 we really don’t get to see it a lot anymore it’s like a lil treat

but yeah the way all their teammates tiptoe around talking abt it and hide it on lives and always react like that speaks volumes and i don’t think they’d be able to keep up this bit (if it was) for this long

also food for thought, they could always say sum to shut it down and they never do 🤷‍♀️ like kate was chill w going on live and being like “i’m NOT dating jada” bc you know, she isn’t 😭😭

like the fact that they’re not even willing to lie abt it tells you how in deep they are