#and of fucking up and not being able to fix it like FUCK the part where caz's first daughter is born and he says he'll never leave

[wgwingguns]

Chapter 2: The Shipwright's Brig and It's Captain

Powers: (Y/n) has powers of the Sut Sut No Mi. The Step Step Fruit. Which allows the user to walk on any surface and in mid air. Summary: (Y/n) Shristi also known as Captain Brig, a well known underground shipwright, has her own huge ship that harbors up to 8 other ships in docks that allow’s her crew to fix up other pirate ships that are in need of fixing or upgrades. (Y/n) who was a student under Dr Vegapunk for 8 years, after a tragic incident that caused her to lose both arms and legs. Dr Vegapunk took her in, gave her arms and legs prosthetics to allow the girl to walk and still be an adventurous teen, there (Y/n) learned and became a brilliant scientist and inventor. Back to the present where her mighty ship and mighty crew full of shipwrights, come across two struggling men in the sea, and then a whole crew and their ship split in half and in parts of their beloved vessel floating in the ocean…The Heart Pirates, and the Kid Pirates…How strange. Note: So this is after Law and Bepo escape Blackbeard, and Kid and his crew is fucking decimated from Shanks. Enjoy lovelies!! This is def not following the canon events-

WC: 4.5k

Fire, blood, pain. The buildings around abalzed, screams filling the air, men shouting and laughing. Laying there in pain crushed underneath burning beams. Unable to move, both legs and arms numb with no feeling. Her left blue eye looked around, blood seeping from her right eye unable to close fully due to a shard of wood embedded into her eye. Why can’t she just die and have all this pain go away? All that her family and village was doing was celebrating…then the damned marines had to ruin their fun. Turning her head to the side to see her parents laying motionless in the rumbles of use to be home, then down to her arm where a huge beam smashed into her arm like a pancake. All she could do was let the tears roll down her cheeks and hope to die, her throat sore and hoarse with screaming and calling out for help, now all that came out was strained air. She just wanted to die. She wanted the pain to end.

Finally the light appeared before her, and she closed her eyes accepting the light coming forward, finally to be at peace, no more worries, no more sadness and greif, no more pain. Hearing footsteps quickly approach, she didnt care. She slowly slipped away into the light where there was no pain.

She walked through the halls of the Labophase, following close behind Dr. Vegapunk. Passing by a room, the door slightly ajar, looking in only being able to see someone with lavender hair. But she didnt pay too much mind to it, looking forward to quickly picking up her pace to keep close to Dr. Vegapunk. Reaching her hand out to his, he would take it gladfully looking up at her with a soft smile. “My little Inventor Brig, someday you will be able to sail again, like your parents did. Imagine all the things you could do with that little smart head of yours!” he would coo up to the young adult holding his hand, following him like a little duckling with its mother. All she could do was smile softly. “Someday my little inventor, someday you will be the greatest inventor and sail across the whole world and Grandline. I just know you will!” He would laugh, and all she could do was just giggle softly at her mentor’s words.

“Maybe Dr Vegapunk, maybe.” (Y/n) would smile softly, towering over her mentor, her silt feet tapping against the tiled floor as she walked, and her cool metal hand meeting the warmth of her mentor’s hand. She saw him like her own father, and she would do anything for him.

Both Kid pirates and Heart Pirates are already up and in the galley with Angus and Yael eating breakfast. They were there later so they didnt have to deal with the large crowd of people in the galley so they could talk with one another.

“So Yael what are the plans today?” Bepo would spueak looking over at Yael. Yael would simply turn her head over to Bepo with some food dripping from the corner of her mouth. Bepo couldnt help but chuckle at Yael’s antics.

“Well, besides the rest of your crew, joining up with the other shipwrights, you two caps and your best men are going to be going into the warehouse to meet cap today after we show you around the ship.” she would talk with her mouth full, wiping the corner of her mouth of some food, then with a big gulp swallowing her food happily.

“Fucking finally! You keep fucking talking about your Captain but hardly say shit about them..” Kid would grumble, taking a bite of his food. Yael would just chuckle.

“We have our reasons.” Angus would hum softly as he would finish off his food, shoving the last piece of his pancake into his mouth. Killer would watch this man with such intrest, such a large man that everything about him screams to be a beast of a man, but yet such a teddy bear.

Soon with breakfast coming to a close, they would all take their plates, bowls, and cups to the dish drop. Killer's eyes made contact with the same white haired woman from yesterday. She quickly pulled the dishes onto a loading cart, her eyes meeting his, only giving Killer a soft nod before rushing back towards the kitchen. Angus and Yael lead the way out through some doors, and heading down a long hallway with many doors on the sides of them, soon opening a large door, and sunlight filled into the small hallway. Walking out one by one, they would be awestruck by the sight before them.

A huge deck in the shape of a U, with four docks on each side, 8 in total. Three large main masts with crows nests ontop of each one. The deck flooded with men, women, and non-beanies running around doing their chores. Children ran on all four with rags in their hands as they cleaned the deck having fun. A ship docked in the middle inner of the U shaped boat. This ship was MASSIVE. Not as big as the Gran Tesoro but definitely a large scale ship. The ship was a beautiful mix of browns and some gold and silver accents to it. Kid’s and his commanders, including Law’s and Bepo’s eyes were large and marveled by the sight.

“Holy shit! Who fucking built this ship?!” Kid would snap his head towards Yael and Angus who were just laughing at their shocked faces.

Angus would smile pointing to what seemed to be a warehouse at the end of the inner part of the u. “Cap Brig did and quite a few of us aswell. But with Brig’s science and technology, it definitely made the ship go by faster, still took 3 years to build.” Angus would chuckle.

“ONLY THREE FUCKING YEARS?!” Kid’s eyes looked like they were going to bulge out of his eye sockets. Yael couldn’t help but break out into a roaring laughter, tears escaping from the corner of her eyes. Kid was so astonished that only their captain and a few others built this massive ship in three years. But the fact that they say that Captain Brig has technology that sped up the process by alot was also intriguing. Law’s eyes were just wide as he looked around, and this stunning massive ship, the crew though seemed happy and unbothered, enjoying their lives, working hard making sure the ship was nice looking that everything was working properly with no loose ends. Law himself was just impressed as well. Bepo’s eyes shining with amazement looking around at this new environment.

“Now, now, come! How about we go see Captain Brig now, hmm?” His Rosey cheeks present with a large smile, his arms and hands resting on his hips as he looks at the guest crews. All they could do was nod, still eye candying the ship that they were on. They would begin to make their way up the stairs to the upper deck of the ship. Small buildings all around with signs on the doors with various metals, woods, and more. Supply sheds. They would head towards a small building with the words ‘Wearhouse 2’ above a pair of heavy swinging metal doors.

Inside was a small group of 3 women and 4 men seemingly to be working on a boiler. Law's eyes would widen upon looking at it, it was the Polar Tang's boiler that they were working on. A woman would be hammering out the dents in the metal of the boiler along with a man. The others putting mechanical pieces together and talking with one another. One of the men would peek up seeing Angus, Yael, and the visiting crew. “Angus, what brings you here?” The man would question tilting his head.

Angus would wave his hand heading towards another pair of heavy metal doors on the other side of this small wearhouse. “Taking the guests to go meet Cap!”

The man would nod his head looking back at what he was working on. “I will warn you, Cap was saying some pretty nasty shit earlier and now there's just loud music that can be heard from in there. Guess Cap is having a hard time with The Victoria.” The man would huff softly while screwing a piece together. He was right. They could hear the booming music playing now, and the distance muffled sounds of metal clanging.

“Thanks Path!” Angus would nod his head. Yael quickly made her way over to the new pair of double metal doors, and when swinging them open, the loud music would fill the smaller wearhouse. “Fuck I guess she really is mad.” Angus would laugh making his way in with Yael. Kid and his commanders followed hot on their trail at the mention of their ship beyond these doors. Law and Be possible stood there for a moment watching the men and women working on the boiler. Law could immediately tell they knew what they were doing, and they were doing it with precision and care, but Law would quickly go along with Bepo joining the Kid Pirates, Yael, and Angus.

Walking into the larger wearhouse, music loudly blasting, it was a sight before their eyes. Two huge cranes with chains and ropes holding the split in half Victoria in the air, along with two huge robotic claws holding the ship as well. Loud clanging in the corner of the wearhouse, as sparks were seen flying from welding. Stopping as a loud crash happens, and the a loud curse of a female “YOU'VE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME! I'VE WELDING THIS PIECE OF SHIT OF METAL FIVE TIMES ALREADY! GOOD FUCKING PROPS TO WHO MADE THIS SHIT! JUST FUCKING GREAT!! MOTHER FUCKING BASTARD OF A FUCKING RETARDED FUCK WHO DOESN'T KNOW SHIT!” suddenly a large piece of metal would go flying and crash near the group that just walked in. Law, Bepo, Kid, and his commanders quickly backing away from where this sheet of metal is now gouging into the wall and floor. Though Angus and Yael didn't even move or flinch, just smirks on their faces. Kid's eyes wide with hearing such a colorful mouth from a woman no less.

“Yep she's mad alright!” Angus would boast, barely even being heard over the loud country music. Suddenly the shadow or a woman spiriting across over to a huge pile in the corner of the room full of metal quickly digging through, one finding a good sheet of metal would make her way back over to where the welding parts were. Quick sounds of hammer banging, and then sparks of welding once again came to a stop once again. Suddenly they would see the woman in full. 6’9, prosthetic metal arms with glowing yellow cores in the middle, prosthetic silt legs as well, a white lab jacket over her tall slender frame stained from rust, oil, and maybe blood. These sunglasses like goggles on her face covering her eyes, but her brown hair fading into a red, and the same classic black shirt, and brown overalls with the Jolly Roger presented on front with a tool belt over her waist. A strange red tattoo on the left side of her face near her ear. But this lady had gauges, pricings, and sharp teeth presented in a wicked grin of hers. As suddenly jumping into the air, she walked through the air towards The Victoria suspended in the air.

Stopping before she would slap the piece of metal onto a inner beam of the ship, taking out some nails from her tool belt and placing them in their places that she needed them. With ease she would back away grabbing what seems to be a large hammer with a very short handle, until swinging it, it would extend, and hitting it against the nail. With one heavy hit from the hammer and one hard hit the nail was fully in with ease. But she continued with a swift and smooth pattern, she would hit each nail with every hit. Then after a good few more swings, the nails are perfectly straight and perfect.

“Captain!” Yael would shout but the music was too loud, as the female was still in her own little world checking over her work. Yael would sigh “Angus! Do the thing!” Angus would sigh looking around finding a bolt on the ground picking it up and chucking it at the supposive captain.

Right about the nut was about to hit her, her hand would fly out quickly, the metal hand catching it with ease crushing it. As the female's head would turn to look at the group, the sunglasses goggles covering her eyes as she stared them down. Dropping the crushed bolt to the ground below her, she would reach up a hand to her glasses pushing them up with a finger to rest on her forehead. Her blue and yellow eyes staring down as she looked at them with a quirked eyebrow. Then pushing a button on her hand, the music would suddenly stop. “The fuck you want” she would speak.

“Cap, guests!” Yael would shake her head with a devious smile on her face. The female captain's eyes would turn to look at the guests. Standing up and suddenly stepping down through the air towards the group then landing on the ground in front of Kid. Her tall frame looked down at him. Her head would tilt to the side glaring daggers at him.

“So you're the captain of th-” Kid would try to speak till the woman would hold her hand up to his lips shushing him.

“Shut your fucking mouth… do you know how fucking broken you ship is?!” She would snap at him, Kid's eyes would widen. “The fucking fact that you have old rotting wood, broken beams, nails not where they should be! And not to fucking mention your ship is in fucking half!” She would yell towering even more over Kid. Killer would quickly make his way pulling his friend away before he could snap back. Angus would pull away the female.

“Captain Brig, calm please. He wasn't intending for this to happen.” Angus would speak hushed, as Brit's eyes full of rage slowly softened while looking at Kid without fear.

“Fine.. You're lucky that your ship is one of a kind and designed beautifully or I would have your head as decoration… “ she would scoff, turning away. Kid’s eyes were full of rage and curiosity of this woman. This was the Captain of this beautiful large scale ship? Law watched the scene before him. “Anyways, pleasure to meet you all the name is (Y/n) or known as Captain Brig. You all can just call me Brig.” she would sigh, dipping her head towards the group in greetings. Now noticing her accent had a southern accent to it, the accent strong but smooth. Law couldn’t help but look at her arms, and legs, the metal a dark grey with glowing pale yellow lights in some parts. The stilts for her feet, noting some small thrusters on the back of where her calves would be. More than likely used to make her run faster when needed. But another fact was, how did she walk through the air when there were no surfaces for her to walk on. Was it the small thrusters on the back of her calves or was it some sort of power like a devil fruit? Only saying a question could answer that.

“Miss Brig, we thank you for your hospitality. Now if you wouldnt mind answering a few questions for me?” Law would quip up, his amber eyes looking up at the tall captain. Brig’s eyes would snap towards Law, crossing her arms over her chest as she stared down the doctor. Her cold hard eyes would send slight shivers down his spine upon a look like that from such a woman.

“Sure.” was the only thing she would quip back at him. Those eyes of hers not easing up one bit.

“How did you exactly walk through the air? There are no surfaces that I see for you to walk on. By the looks of it, you have small thrusters on your calves. So did you use those to walk through the air or do you have devil fruit powers?” Law wouldn’t tear his gaze away from the cold stare she was giving him.

“Devil fruit. The Sut Sut fruit. It allows me to walk, run, sit, and lay on any surface of my choosing. That Includes water and air.” she would raise a brow now her own curiosity peaked.

“Intresting. Other than that, how long will it take for you to fix mine and Kid’s ships?” Law would flash almost a smug smirk on his face seeing that he caught Brig’s curiosity.

“Hmm…Well with your boiler of your ship almost being finished as is, the framework though is going to take a while. Your ship partially imploded once it hit a certain depth.” Law’s eyes would widen. “But doesnt mean im not up to the task of fixing it, cause I know I can fix it. But on a rough but good estimate for both of your ships…about another week give or take. At most two weeks.” A smile would finally start to spread across her face, the excitement of fixing these wonderful interesting ships, and getting them up and going and maybe seeing if she can do upgrades for them. Finally her eyes are not cold anymore but determined and almost have a light spark to them.

Kid would grumble quietly hoping that Brig wouldn't hear. Killer would nod his masked head, “Thank you we greatly appreciate your help in fixing our ship. We will do anything for you while we wait for our ships to be fixed, and once done we will leave, and hopefully sometime in the future run into you again and pay you back.” Killer would sigh thankfully at Captain Brig’s words. She would simply smile, nodding her head at Killer.

“The pleasure is all mine. Angus and Yael will ask you what your best attributes are, and you all will be set in different places to help around as payment for now.” (Y/n)’s smile now a gentle and endearing smile instead of the cold stature she had moments ago. “Now excuse me, I must continue to work on your Victoria cause fucking hell it won't fix itself.” she would chirp happily, as turning back around and with quick steps, back into the air she goes towards the Victoria, reaching her hand up tapping a button on her hand again the loud music continuing from where it stopped.

Angus would motion for them to follow, and they would do so, Wire though couldn't help but stare back at the Captain of this ship with such marvel. A ferocious but caring understanding woman. Wire turned his tall frame back towards where the others were headed, and he would quickly follow, catching up.

Kid was assigned helping with fixing machinery, Killer was assigned in the kitchen, Heat and Wire was assigned in helping make sure the sails and the ship was clean. Law and Bepo were assigned to help in the medical bay.

Kid was having the time of his life talking with other tinkers while talking about how he could help them, as well as giving him some time on things. For once, Kid wasn't snapping back at people. Killer was enthralled to work with people who knew how to cook. He also learned that the white haired lady was the second in charge of the kitchen, her name being Umai comically enough. Both of them got along with one another quite well, having the same interest of wanting to hide their faces due to being insecure about their faces. Wire and Heat had fun getting to know the shipwright crew that they were working with, some of them being kids who marveled at Wire's height and Heat's scars. Law and Bepo felt like they were in heaven with the amount of medical supplies they had on this ship. Yael, also being the doctor and herbalist of the ship would just cackle at their faces, upon seeing how much stuff they had, and items that would also help with injuries.

Time would fly as they did their business, helping the shipwright crew with their daily business and chores. Soon in the distance, kinda muffled, the lunch bell would ring twice. Everyone would begin to make their way to the galley to eat.

Kid's crew would sit at one end of the many tables, and on the same table at the other end was Law's crew. Already food piled onto their plates as they began to eat and talk with one another of how everything was going with their respective assigned jobs at the moment.

“Fuck man! When I tell you I have never been this rock hard then ever before, well i fucking am! It's so fucking nice to geek out about shit with other people for fucking once.” Kid would laugh loudly. Killer would roll his eyes under his mask, his shoulder shaking a bit saying that he's laughing quietly.

“Not the rock hard part, but I agree. The cooks in the kitchen are all very nice and welcoming. They definitely know what they are doing.” Killer would slurp some of his noodles through his mask.

Law on the other side of the table hearing this would roll his amber eyes, shaking his head softly. Though he did have to agree with Killer. Yael knew a lot of stuff and was glad that he and Bepo got to learn some new things today from Yael. Everything about everyone on this ship knew what they were doing and seemed to do everything with a passion.

Though Law's mind would go back to (Y/n). Thinking of how she lost both of her legs and arms to have the need for prosthetics. Who built her prosthetics? Did she perhaps build them herself? How has she managed to be under the World's government knowledge for so long, not a single peep about the Shipwright Pirates. So many questions spiraled around in his head while he ate. Bepo was talking to Shachi and Penguin about what Yael had shown him and Law in the medical bay. Penguin and Shachi got to help around on deck making sure everything was clean and tidy with a small group consisting of a few kids, teens, and some adults.

Yael would stroll past their table, Law's and Bepo's attention turned towards her as she walked toward the grand staircase headed towards where Grid's wearhouse was. A plate in her hand, and repeating what she did the other day, hitting the metal doors with her foot, slowly the huge metal doors ever so slightly opening, and the same metal hand reaching out grabbing the plate and receding back through the door as it closes. Yael would quickly make her way back over to the table where the two crews sat, sitting in between Law and Kid. Setting down her own plate full of food she would begin to dig in eating it like an animal.

Kid would glance over at her with wide eyes, this woman herself is definitely beating him by how fast and animalistic she was eating her food. She must always be hungry…remind him of a stupid monkey of an emperor. Kid would shake his head turning his attention back to his food to continue to eat happily and being in his own world while talking with his commanders.

Then all peace and comfortable loud speaking in the mess hall would come to a close and the loud panicked bells ringing. Everyone eating would freeze quickly getting up and rushing out of the messhall leaving their plates of food on the tables. Yael choked on her food coughing then hitting her chest violently trying to help her catch her breath. Law seeing everyone panic leaving the messhall quickly he would look over to Yael with a concerned look in his amber orbs. “Yael what's going on?”

“The alarm bell! We have marines on us! Quickly up! UP!” she would scream as she would get up rushing out towards the door that leads to the deck. The Heart Pirates and the Kid pirates would share a look with one another before quickly standing and following after Yael quickly.

Rushing down the hallway to the deck, emerging out onto the deck they would see the shipwright pirates rushing around getting the cannon’s ready, the smaller ship that belongs to the shipwrights, slowly being hauled up into the air by large chains and rope so now the inner part of the ship was empty. “Find your groups that you were with earlier! Get with them and ask them what you need to do! We are going to need all the help we can get! Law Bepo you are with me!” She would turn heading towards the stairs that led to the upper deck where the Helm was. Angus is already up there talking with some of the Helms men and women.

Yael with Law and Bepo following close to her, keeping up with her, they would get onto the helms deck. “How many Marines do we have on us?” Yael would run up to Angus asking quickly.

“We have three sinkers!” Angus would yell while then barking orders at helms men and women. Sinkers? Law would then look over to where Angus was pointing for Yael to see the marine ships. They were large scale Marine ships, but not as big as the Shipwright’s Brig. So they must have code names for different types of marine ships, which was actually pretty genius then giving the marines credits for calling them their actual names. “Turn hard port! We need to face them head on!” Angus would cry out angrily. It had been months since they last had their run-in with marines.

“What are you going to do? If you go down the middle of them you will get sunk!” Law would turn his head towards Angus, what they were doing was something really sketchy that could sink their large lucious ship.

“Dont worry, we know what we are doing! There is a reason no one knows about us yet!” Angus would laugh, as suddenly the sounds of huge metal doors were opening, looking down he would see the huge door’s to the warehouse opening. Suddenly a long metal track would start to extend down the middle of the ship to the very tip of the ship. Suddenly sounds of things coming to life as suddenly this large scale cannon would zoom out, and ontop of this cannon was (Y/n) with a vicious wide smug grin on her face. Violence and a crazed look to her eyes.

What the hell were they doing now?

Tag list: @h0n3y-l3m0n05

[minty-bunni]

The craziest thing about PTSD is thinking you're free from it and then getting triggered like 5 mins later by the most random thing.

[piplupod]

feels like the isolation is a gushing wound and going to the centre is just a small bandage. i think perhaps i am not really ever going to feel okay unless something miraculous happens. i am retaining some semblance of sanity now that I'm leaving the house and socializing with non-family more than once a week, but i am still hurting more than I can really tolerate and I don't know what to do about it. there doesn't seem to be a fix for this that I can enact.

[sirenium]

I hate being loveless. Send post.

[echidnana]

fuck offff just cried watching a still wakes the deep playthrough

[izzy-b-hands]

today should be a t break day

bc I'll need it to be more effective in the coming days if we see family, and then I'll have the survey shifts

but since late last night i keep randomly nearly breaking into tears and thinking abt the stupidest shit that needs to stay in the box in my brain

so idk. maybe it will be. it is thus far. but I'm not leaving my room without a container of some edible or another in my pocket either

[edwardbonnets]

oh my god i've had such a shitty weekend that in order to cheer me up, my dad fixed my computer and now i've been distracting myself with baldurs gate 3 to feel better

BUT NOW THAT I ACTUALLY CHECK SOCIAL MEDIA YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT OFMD S2 TEASER IS DROPPING TOMORROW?????????? HUH???????????? WHAT NOW?????????????? OH MY GOD???????????????????

[orcelito]

Omfg I never actually posted about this but just like 2 days ago I realized that no it is Not normal to experience lightheadedness near daily when I've gone just a little too long without eating

I looked it up and apparently lightheadedness/dizziness CAN be a part of fibromyalgia (which I think I have for a number of different reasons), so like. It all makes sense.

Fuckin fibromyalgia. It's the source of like 95% of my physical problems, I swear. Every Damn Thing can be traced back to it. What a pain.

[shima-draws]

So I noticed over the past few months that my right joycon has been drifting. But I didn’t realize how fucking BAD it was drifting until I got a pro controller and started running around in Scarlet going “……Holy shit? My camera isn’t constantly drifting down? I don’t have to consciously move the camera back UP every 3 seconds? This is amazing. This is AMAZING I can actually experience this game like a normal person”

[shiroselia]

Actually quite frankly there is a Very fucking long post to be made about SSO’s current issue on balancing graphic improvements while also making sure that their game is fucking playable and runnable on even overqualified computers but I am Not qualified enough to make it and I do not have the words to properly formulate what I mean but the tldr is that SSE has had this problem for a while now where they’re So desperate to improve their graphics and general game mechanics but still have So much spaghetti code left while also having graphic that is over 20 years old still in the game that we’re in a very weird limbo where the game is both unoptimized as hell but also trying so badly to catch up to modern standards that we’re all lost in a sauce of 20 FPS to 80 FPS on the same computers depending on where you are in the game and that’s not even mentioning the Huge fucking issue of how a multiplayer game that is already terrible at being a multiplayer actively fucking loses itself in the framerate sauce as soon as more than 2% of the server population decides to do a championship

[skrunksthatwunk]

not to doomer post. but. american politics is like here's a conservative warmonger who wants to burn you alive personally and here's a different conservative warmonger who definitely wouldn't stop someone from burning you alive BUT who might raise the minimum wage by $0.30/hour for you, but only like eight years from now (so re-elect me please!! >w<). yes one of them has to be president they are the only two options we'll let you have. no neither of them will stop the government from killing you or anyone else, but at least one will say "it's kind of bad to kill people :( someone should really do something about that..." while giving the people-killers $20,000,000,000,000 to keep doing it then saying they can't afford to help you at all, but oh shucks, maybe next cycle, if you vote for me again! and also everyone will pretend as though they are extremely different political entities covering two highly polarized ends of the political spectrum despite nearly identical policy views obscured by their slightly different ways of addressing their target audiences, many of whom are also conservative warmongers. and also if you don't vote or vote third party the other guy will win and you will watch as they burn everyone you love alive in the same way they've burned so many strangers so you kind of feel like you have to vote for the other warmonger because even though they both have blood on their hands you'll take a handshake over an uppercut. even if you can still see the bodies piling up behind them. even if you can only save like five people you know and not the thousands of people who are dying in the other room. because you believe the difference between 30,000 and 30,005 is still worth it even though no one needed to die in the first place and no one seems to agree with you. you have to keep living in this world every day. if anything changes it will take decades and it will never be enough. if this takes a toll on you good fucking luck surviving off the generosity of the warmonger state that claims to serve you. happy voting!!

[simptasia]

about "ugly" people, people will often say like, ~true beauty is on the inside~ and yes, true but like. the stuff on the outside can also be considered beautiful. i like big noses. i like crooked teeth. fuck you

[small-witch-big-hat]

Hi, I’m sure you didn’t mean any harm but I wanted to let you know that it was really sad and upsetting to see your comments about longing to be smaller under art celebrating fat bodies. I don’t want you to be unhappy but also it sucks that you felt the need to derail a piece of fat positivity with your negative emotions.

I hope this doesn’t seem mean, more than that, I hope - more than you know - that you learn to find peace with your body as it is now. Whether or not you ever lose weight (or gain weight, or fluctuate for the rest of your life) you deserve to be happy in the flesh you inhabit, right now. Today. Not when you’re skinny. Not when you look right. Immediately, and with no conditions, you deserve to be happy. No weight loss will ever feel as good as happiness that isn’t tied to external expectations of your body.

If that isn’t possible for you yet (which is fine), then I at least hope that you be a little more considerate about when and where you share your negativity, and that you choose not to broadcast them in a way that undermines the work of those people who don’t share your current views towards their fleshbags.

I don't recall which post I responded to that spurred this ask, but I am sorry that I caused someone else pain here. I try not to vent on other people's posts, and I broke my own rule.

A lot of the fat positivity stuff I see around here makes me feel really uncomfortable. It reminds me of my own body, with which I am not really on speaking terms. It reminds me of the frustration that being heavy causes me, of the health problems it's exacerbating, of how much trouble I have managing my eating in a healthy way. It reminds me of the things I want to do that my weight prevents.

It's also complicated by my gender dysphoria, which only makes me feel even MORE trapped in a body that fits wrong.

It makes me feel like trying to change is futile, that I'm doomed here. I don't WANT to "find peace" with my body as it is now. To be honest, having you wish me that makes me feel sick and angry, and I'm not entirely sure why. It feels like you're asking me to ignore things about myself.

[toastsnaffler]

I was on the wikipedia page for phobias just for fun but just discovered theres an actual word for a fear of being touched.. 🥹

[neverendingford]

.

[medicinemane]

I don't know, I get tired of a lot of positivity

Like yes yes, the world's wonderful and I'm so strong or whatever generic thing is being said (because it's always so generalized to the point of meaningless), but you know shit is what it is, and the only way forward is with changes I manage to make... which you're not helping with at all

And as for like... my internal mood, I'm deeply isolated, sorry if hollow platitudes don't sooth the gaping maw inside me

It is what it is, and I probably get my shit together enough to do stuff like teach out of my basement like I'd like, it's just I believe that I'll be alone in a crowd like I've always been

But positivity... I just... I kinda get sick of it. There's this guy on youtube I watch who talks about economics stuff, he's recently started doing positivity and... I just fucking know his personality enough where it's like sorry mate but I'm not interested in hearing you spout Secret light kinds off drivel

...I don't know, I suppose it boils down to this

One, I can barely fucking take in positive things said directly to me, about me. Generalizations don't help even a little... I'm a mess, I'd really like someone to toss me a life preserver instead of always tossing confetti at me while I struggle to stay afloat... doesn't help

Two, the world is a terribly imperfect place, and rather than taking a mentality of "everything will work out", I think it's important to acknowledge that sometimes good people live alone, die alone, and they never got the break they needed and slowly bled out

I think it's worth knowing that if you can't step in and help yourself, then maybe no help'll come at all

...I don't know, I suppose in the end the core of what I'm saying is a lot of positivity seems like self help tier stuff and... I get tired of that, and I see so many good people struggling and... eh... either I can at least come in and say something positive custom fit to them, or I can keep my mouth shut

Just fucking let me rot. Help or let me fester on my own, you know?

I got rid of the trailer, I maybe did something like cleaning though I can't tell... at what point will my pace on trying to make things better be good enough for people, and I'll be able to stop having people tell me to fix my life... as if I hadn't thought of that already

...everyone means well, it's just tiring