#but im quick to tire and if i push myself too hard then im practically bedridden

[orcelito]

Omfg I never actually posted about this but just like 2 days ago I realized that no it is Not normal to experience lightheadedness near daily when I've gone just a little too long without eating

I looked it up and apparently lightheadedness/dizziness CAN be a part of fibromyalgia (which I think I have for a number of different reasons), so like. It all makes sense.

Fuckin fibromyalgia. It's the source of like 95% of my physical problems, I swear. Every Damn Thing can be traced back to it. What a pain.

[shhh-no-ones-home]

death march matt Murdock x reader

+++++++++

this one has been in the drafts for a bit and i finally finished it so i hope you guys enjoy. writing has been slow recently as i havent had much free time and am still trying to rewatch all the netflix marvel series. but i am still working on requests and stories that ive had started for about a month so hopefully the rest will be out soon, along with some frank castle stories now that ive reached the first season of the punisher

prompts: "You need sleep." "I get sleep" "getting knocked unconscious does not count as sleep"

song: saints of the blood by black veil brides

tag list: @cynic-spirit @juniebugg

+++++++++

i sat back on my knees and groaned. matt and i were both covered in blood and he was still writhing around on the ground. but the men around us that were out made me a little proud of all that we'd done. it had been weeks of tracking them down, taking out one ninja at a time until we found were they were all hiding.

"i need a vacation."

he noted as he got to his knees and i laughed.

"you and me both D."

he laughed back as he stood, almost doubling over as he clutched his side. i was quick to stand then, helping him, steadying him.

"whoa, hold up there daredevil, i saw that last punch. broken ribs isn't gonna get you anywhere."

he inhaled sharply.

"and what do you suggest i do?"

i snorted.

"you know the answer to that already."

he shook his head as we limped towards the door together.

"yeah, i shouldn't have asked."

°°°°°°°°°

when we got back to the apartment i was quick to get him to the couch. every move earned a hiss from deep in his chest as i tried to get his jacket off. i figured his ribs were broke but i was more worried about the cuts and stab wounds.

"alright human x-ray, what's the damage?"

he sat quietly for a moment and listened. then he closed his eyes and sighed.

"what do you think?"

i touched his side lightly.

"oh yeah, they're definitely broken. but there's something else. what is it?"

he blinked slowly before wincing as he tried to resituate himself on the couch.

"the cut below my rib is almost deep enough for it to come out."

i made a gross face.

"so maybe this time we really should get you to a hospital."

"no."

he said quickly and i sent him a look.

"matt, if i don't there's a good chance you'll die."

"no hospital."

i bit my tongue as he laid back.

"fine, ill do the best i can but if you if you start fading on me im doing it. this job is bigger than me, and Claire for that matter."

his jaw tightened.

"what would we even tell them? you're not in any better shape."

his breathing was shaky and staggered. i looked to my knuckles on my right hand as i held the cloth to his open wound. at this point i couldn't tell what was my blood, what was his blood, or what was the blood from the men we'd fought in the back of that abandoned warehouse. and then i looked to my left hand, god it was so much worse. my first two fingers were for sure broken, my wrist not in any better shape, and i had a gash almost the length of the back my arm.

"ill think of something, but right now we need to focus on getting you out of this outfit and keeping you from bleeding out. i don't need the paramedics figuring out what we both do in our free time."

°°°°°°°°°

as i sat in the chair beside matt i tried my hardest not to fall asleep. the beep of his heart monitor was very lulling and the morphine  they had given me didn't help. it was a little amusing though to look at the two of us; we practically looked like mummies with how wrapped we were. my left hand was broken in eight places, my wrist in two. the cut on my arm was deep enough to need stitches near my elbow but nowhere else, thank god.

"y/n."

i heard him say quietly and i sat up abruptly, no longer tired.

"im here matt, its okay."

i said softly, taking his hand in mine.

"where are we?"

he asked and i let out a laugh.

"metro general."

he deadpanned.

"i thought i told you-"

"i know i know, but i was losing you. i kept checking your heartbeat but you were losing too much blood. and i couldn't live with myself if id let you die. not after all that hard work."

i said the last bit with a hint of amusement and luckily he smiled back.

"what did you tell them?"

i let out a nervous laugh.

"i told them we were walking home through a bad part of town and got jumped, pushed into a back alley by a couple guys, large and in masks. i told them that they all looked the same, same height, same clothes, and only one of them spoke; that he demanded we give him all that we had on us. i told them that you tried to be brave and push me out of the way and that they didn't like that; that they beat you up, attacked you, then attacked me and once they got me on the ground stomped on my hand and ran."

he nodded solemnly; rubbing his thumb over the back of my right hand. the bruises were prominent still, cuts deep to the bone that i hadn't let anyone see since we'd been here the last ten hours.

"that's one hell of a story."

"as far as they know it was one hell of a fight. but you're still my hero; stupid and stubborn, but still a hero."

he smiled, almost laughing but groaning in pain and rolling his head back against the pillows.

"hey, take it easy, you need to heal, You need sleep."

"I get sleep."

he said matter-of-factly and i sent him a look.

"matt, getting knocked unconscious does not count as sleep."

he looked to the ceiling and swallowed hard.

"look, ill call foggy and Karen and tell them you were awake and they can visit later but for now you need all the rest you can get. you lost a lot of blood, and i know you, you'll want to get back out there as soon as possible. but for right now i think its okay to let the others handle the city for a bit. ill talk to Trish, see what she can do with Jessica's help. you know Danny would be willing to do something."

he shook his head.

"no, don't, its fine, I'm fine."

"Matthew, you have three broken ribs, a punctured lung, and you almost got sliced all the way through. I'm calling at least one of your super friends to take the mantle for a couple weeks. hells kitchen survived over a year without the mask, I'm sure it can survive a little longer. just until you're healed."

he sighed, closing his eyes again.

"i hate when you're right."

i smiled, squeezing his hand lightly.

"if that were true, you wouldn't have married me."

i stood up and kissed his forehead.

"Mrs. Murdock, the voice of reason."

he said softly and i leaned down and kissed him properly.

"keeping the love of my life alive one day at a time."

"thank you."

i studied him for a moment as i stood back up.

"get some sleep, ill be right here when you wake up."

[thefallennightmare]

Hard to Love [15/?]

Pairings: Chris Evans x Reader

Words: 1338

Warnings: this story will have mentions of abuse, mental and physical so please read at your own risk. Some swearing, angst, and a good amount of fluff. Maybe some smut if I’m feeling frisky.

Summary: After moving to a new town all on her own, Reader would do anything for a stable job and income. Even if that means housekeeping for one of Boston’s eligible bachelors. What she didn’t expect was finding herself falling in love with him and him finding out about the past that she was running from.

A/N: I hope you all enjoyed the last cute chapters cause it’s time to get angsty. Buckle in cause no one and I mean no one is ready. 

Tags: @kelbabyblue @patzammit @thesecretlifeofdaydreamss @jennmurawski13 @divadinag @cosmicbreathe @thevelvetseries @capstopavenger @chris-butt @denisemarieangelina​ @im-a-stranger-thing @jennamarieee623 @introvertedmouse @lharrietg @breezykpop @instantbasementtimetravel @rodgersteves @michaelscotf @40srogcrs​ @wonderingshawn​ @bellaireland1981​ @katelyneannxo​ @lady-x-red​ @sare-bare93-blog @thejemersoninferno​ @annmariek8​ @theoldseoul

“So that’s a no for dinner then?” 

A soft sigh fell past my lips and I clutched the phone closer to my ear. “I’m sorry, Chris. I have this study group tonight for my final. I can’t miss it again.” 

“I know, I know.” Chris’ sad sigh was very evident through the speaker of my phone. “I'll see you tomorrow?”

“Of course,” I smiled. 

With a quick hang up, I trekked my way across the green field towards the campus library where four other members of my study group were patiently waiting. I had been late, yet again, because working at Chris’ went way later than I anticipated. 

It probably was the shower sex but I wasn’t complaining. 

It had been a few months since we debuted our relationship and despite all of the rude things I read online, our relationship had blossomed amazingly. I took Chris’ advice to not let whatever I read bother me or get between us; I hadn’t. But I was still very apprehensive when we went out in public together. No one ever bothered us but the fear of running into one of his upset fans loomed around in my mind. 

Chris had offered to get another housekeeper but I immediately declined. We had come to a mutual agreement. I would continue to do things around his house for him and he would pay for my courses. I disagreed for the first hour but eventually he wouldn’t let it go. He was proud of me that I was making a better future for myself. 

To be honest, I think he was afraid that I would go back to stripping. For the sake of both of us, that was the very last resort. 

“I’m so sorry I’m late!” I apologized while sliding into the seat next to one of the girls in my class. 

Monica waved me off. “No problem. We should get started with chapter seven.”

As we all studied the material for our upcoming final, I couldn’t help but feel a burning gaze in the back of my head. I dared a few glances over my shoulder but kept finding nothing; no one. I had to tell myself multiple times that I was overthinking it. No one had been following me or watching me. 

I would have believed myself if it hadn’t been happening for the last few days. 

“Babe? You here?” I called out as I entered the house. 

Dodger immediately greeted me with his usual happy tail and bark. Giving him a scratch on his head and his favorite treat, I followed the music of a piano and felt my heart melt at the sight in front of me. 

Chris’ fingers moved effortlessly across the keys of the piano, an unfamiliar tune bouncing off the walls of his home. 

My hands slid over his shoulders and down his chest, pecking his cheek. 

“I love it when you play.” 

He looked over his shoulder and placed a chaste kiss across my lips. He then spun around on the bench while placing his hands on my hips. 

“How was the study group?” Chris asked. 

“Good,” I nodded. “I know it’s kind of late but I wanted to stop by to say hi on my way back to my apartment.” 

Chris puckered his lip asking for a kiss, which I granted, and he looked up at me underneath the brim of his hat. 

“You can stay here if you want,” he offered. 

“I’ve been staying here every night the past week. I don’t want to impose anymore,” I said. 

He merely shrugged. “You’re not. This house is yours too. Dodger sits at the door waiting for you when you’re gone.” 

“Is that so?” I cooed towards the dog. 

I left Chris’ grasp and laid on the couch next to Dodger, scratching his belly. My attention was fully on Dodger that when Chris spoke those words, I had to double back at him, my eyes doubled in size. 

“I’m sorry. What did you say?” I asked. 

“Move in with me,” Chris said with no ounce of hesitation. 

My lips mimicked a fish, open then close then open again before closing again. Chris stared at me, waiting for an answer. I could tell in the way his shoulders slightly dropped, regret filling him. So I extended my hand towards him, pulling him down to the couch with me. He landed on his back while I laid with my chin on his stomach, looking up at him. His shirt rode up a bit, exposing his muscles on his stomach, and I placed a few kisses there. 

“I’d love to move in,” I beamed up at him. 

His smile beamed down at me then in a quick second, I was over his shoulder and he was walking up the stairs towards the bedroom. 

Our bedroom. 

“Bye Laura!” 

I gave a small wave towards one of my classmates, the cold night air breezing through my hair. Our night class had run a bit past end time and with the two texts I had received from Chris during class, I wanted to rush home to him. He mentioned that he had a surprise for me and that he planned out a romantic evening. 

That one specific thought ran through my mind but I quickly pushed it out. We weren’t ready for that, we both agreed, but even the mere thought of Chris getting down on one knee did cause my heart to flutter. 

My feet came to a screeching halt when my eyes took in the sight in front of me. All four tires on my car had been slashed; not a small one either. A very large slice ran all the way around each tire. 

“What the fuck,” I cursed while looking over my shoulder. 

I hadn’t seen anything or anyone out of the ordinary but it still didn’t ease the worried chill that ran through me. My hands shook as I took out my phone and dialed Chris’ number. 

“Hey beautiful,” His calming voice did nothing. 

“Uh, I need you to come pick me up from campus.” My breath came out ragged. 

I couldn’t see anyone else in the parking lot besides me but the feeling of being watched weighed heavy on my back. 

“Everything alright?” He questioned, concerned. 

“Something is wrong with my car. Can you please come pick me up?” 

Chris could hear my voice shake so he said a quick goodbye before the line went dead. I felt exposed out in the open so I decided to wait for Chris in my car. Thankfully he was there within ten minutes, his car sliding up to mine. I knew with the look on his face when he came around to my car and saw the tires, he was pissed. 

“What the hell happened?” 

I shrugged as I stood in front of him. “I have no clue. I came out of class and saw this.” 

He bent down to inspect the tires. “This isn’t an accident, Y/N. This is personal!” 

My body flinched away from him, something I still had no control over. Chris hadn’t ever raised his voice at me ever since I told him about my past with Chad because he knew it triggered me. 

Immediately his face softened while he stood, placing his hands gently on my shoulders. 

“I’m sorry I yelled,” Chris apologized. 

I nodded, letting him know that I was fine. “Can we please go home?” 

Reluctantly, he let it go, for now, and within minutes we were on our way back home. My lips were pressed in a hard line, forcing myself to keep quiet. The words were practically clawing at my lips, begging to be let out. I didn’t want any secrets between Chris and I but this was one that I would be keeping. 

I had a sinking feeling that I knew exactly who slashed my tires and who had been following me, however, I didn’t want to admit it, afraid that I was right.

[binniedeactivated]

hi binnie i wanted to request a fem!reader x dom!yeonjun when she comes home late at night smelling like someone else’s cologne and he punishes her. (sorry this is very descriptive aha im no good at english ) :3

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 | 𝐝𝐨𝐦!𝐲𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐣𝐮𝐧 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄 | 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭𝐲 𝐞𝐝𝐠𝐞𝐬

𝐖/𝐂 | 2.5k

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 | 𝐬𝐨𝐟𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐱, 𝐞𝐝𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐚𝐠𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐬𝐞𝐱

“hyung, go to sleep”. soobin encourages over the video monitor.

“no we need to finish these lyrics”. yeonjun refuses. he was currently working from home in his home studio. it was more urgent to him than anyone else probably because of the real studio time he’s missed due to paternity leave. 

“hyung we can finish them tomorrow alright?”. soobin assures softly. he hated seeing the older stressing himself out. “how’s jayce? has he been sleeping okay?”. soobin asks.

yeonjun huffs and combs his hair back with his fingers in stress. he hasn’t been getting the sleep he wanted due to the six month old infant. especially since your boss needed you urgently, cutting your maternity leave and giving you later hours than usual. hence the reason why yeonjun has been practically banging his head over work. he palms his forehead in the video camera. soobin could see the weariness in his eyes.

“yeah I guess. I just put him down an hour ago. I hope he stays asleep”.

“good. you should use this time to get some sleep hyung”.

yeonjun huffs again, parting his lips to say something else before he heard the front door open and close softly. it was you trying to hurry and sneak in. maybe change your clothes and shower before yeonjun could suspect anything.

“fine I guess. I��ll get some sleep”.

“good. I’ll talk to you tomorrow hyung”.

“bye soobin”.

he waves before ending the call. he checks his watch. it was almost an hour later than when you normally came home. “babe is that you?”. he spoke.

you swiftly took your jacket off hanging it on the coat rack. you cursed under breath hating the fact that he even heard you arrive. “yes babe”. you call out from near the door.

“you know you’re like an hour late coming home. jayce was a handful today”.

you slip off your shoes. “I know, I’m sorry. I’m here now”. you tried to sound as sincere as possible. almost as if you weren’t fucking one of your best friends an hour prior.

yeonjun turns off his monitors and shuts off the equipment in his studio. he decided to check on the baby one last time before entering your shared bedroom. thank god he was still asleep.

“I’m not trying to be an asshole but baby I really need you here. why is your boss keeping you so late?”. yeonjun questions while you were digging into your closet. you were kind of glad he couldn’t see the guilty look on your face. but he definitely smelled the cologne each time you moved.

“I’m sorry it’s been really hectic at the company. I’ll talk to her to see if we can make some arrangements. why are you so upset junnie?”. you soft talked, hoping to butter him up. he sighs at the nickname, sneaking behind you to wrap his arms around your waist to smell you again on purpose.

you reeked of versace cologne. and yeonjun knew he never wore that kind.

“I’m not upset baby. I just miss you and jayce is always eating and crying”.

his lips sit at the coast of your collarbone. he peppers fluttering kisses until he reaches your neck. you breathed.

“isn’t that what you do too? eat and whine about things?” you accuse. yeonjun chuckles. “yes maybe”.

you wanted to shrug yeonjun off because honestly words couldn’t explain how fucked out you were. but you didn’t want him to think anything was up so you let his lips continue up your neck and finally to your jawline.

yeonjun could hear your breathing pattern shift due to his lips. but more than anything he saw how much you were trying to act like you wanted him, but really you wanted to tell him not tonight. that you didn’t feel like having sex because you already got your fix from someone else. and yeonjun knew it.

he pushes his bulge against your backside inching his lips to the corner of yours. you could feel him harden. “baby”. he hums. “baby please have sex with me”.

your heart raced at his words. you’ve never heard yeonjun beg in need before. you didn’t know how you were going to find the energy to oblige to his request. but he grips your waist tighter and you knew there was no letting go. he traces the outline of your breasts with his fingers, keeping note of the fact that your bra wasn’t on.

‘stupid’, yeonjun wanted to say. he knows you left the house with one on. yeonjun was furious.

“please? don’t you miss me?”. he whines again, sneaking a kiss to your lips. he glares into your eyes after he pulls away and you nod your head in counterfeit desperation. he grins into another kiss while his hand searched for the back of your thighs. while hoisting you up the both of you exchange sloppy kisses until you were being laid back onto the sheets.

he allows his tongue to roam your mouth once more before he pulls away with admiration glimmering in his eyes.

“I love you”.

you swallowed, the sheer happiness that overwhelmed him was enough to make you feel guilty about what you done. nevertheless you pout your lips and rub his cheek. “aw junnie. I love you too”.

he smiles and leans down to layer an abundance of kisses over your lips again. he  pins your wrists down gradually with his hands. “I know I haven’t been the best husband lately”. he complains in between kisses. “but I’ve been so tired and moody with the baby and you haven’t been here”. he raises your dress and pushes his bulge against the wetness of your panties. 

you pant feeling your breathing becoming shaky. “I’m sorry junnie. you’ve been the perfect husband okay? I don’t know what I was thinking working-- l-late like that”.

he tongue kisses your neck sliding your panties down your thighs in one quick movement. “you’re so pretty. I’ve been missing you”. slowly but surely he clutches your thighs and rocks down into your warmth. you wrap your arms around his neck with your gaspy moans driving straight into his ear.  your eyes roll up to the ceiling.

“godd---go a little softer junnie please”. you plead. and he follows your command slowly swaying his hips into you with care. he kisses your cheeks. “is this better baby?”. he pants into the small space between the both of your lips, satisfied with the way he was sheathed in your warmth. it felt so good and he hasn’t had it in so long.

“yes it’s perfect”. you mumble, grinding your hips against him at the same speed. it felt amazing. sex was always amazing with yeonjun. he leans down and plants another kiss on your lips. “so needy? what’s making my baby so needy? you missed me that much?”.

between your muffled cries you nodded. he was stretching you each time he inched deeper. he knew how much you loved him buried inside of you. enough to forget where you end and where he begins. “god yeonjun”. you whine against his neck. “i’ve missed you so much”. you whimper back. you felt so ashamed. you knew no one could ever fuck you like yeonjun could.

“I don’t want you to ever miss me baby. I want to always be here to love you and give what you want when you want it”.

you hold him against you, melting each time he bucks into you and feeling guilt eat you alive each time he spoke. “I’d love that so much”. you reply hazily glaring up into his eyes.

“and I love you-”. he cut himself off with a hard thrust jolting your body upwards. you gasp. he chuckles into your neck. “fuck--i hope you don’t think I’m a pervert. asking for sex as soon as you walk in the door”.

“mmmh no junnie-- you’re just as needy as I am”.

with his head buried into your neck he fucks into you a bit faster, groaning at the way you felt wrapped around his length. he got his desired effect though. you with parted lips clawing at his back. each time he rocked into you he heard you choke on your own moans and that’s exactly what he wanted. it turned him on.

“junnie I’m going to cum if you keep going like this---that’s why I want you to g-go slower”.

“I’m sorry it’s been so long I can’t control myself”. he tries his best to go at a slower pace but each time he tried he went back to the same pace he started with. you’re not far behind your orgasm and yeonjun knew just by the stutter in your hips.

“tell me when you’re about to cum baby”. he breathes.

“I’m a-about to ccum right now”. you were nearly shaking beneath him. and just as you felt like you were about release yeonjun stops his movements completely. you sank into confusion until you felt him roughly create a makeshift ponytail out of your hair and pin it against the bed above your head so you couldn’t move.

his facial expression immediately changed. instead he looked angry. his eyes were scary glaring down into yours.

“did you really think I’d let you cum you fucking cheater?”.

you glanced up at him with horror. “junnie--”.

“don’t fucking soft talk me“.

you crumbled at his tone of voice. he started pounding into you whilst biting his lips. you whimper in his hands.

“whose cologne is that hm?”.

if you weren’t choking to death on your moans before you were definitely were choking on them now. he was making you feel so good you could barely think of anything else while he was fucking you like this. you felt your orgasm build back up quickly.

“w-what cologne?”. he thrusts rough and sharp and stops just after he felt your hips stutter. you whine in desperation to cum just once. it felt like a punch in the gut.

“don’t play stupid. whose cologne are you wearing?”.

“it’s yyours”. you wanted to crawl into a hole and hide at the way he practically growled at you. he lowers his lips allowing them to overshadow yours.

“that’s not my fucking cologne and you know that. I don’t wear versace cologne. so how about you tell me who does?”.

and right there, he was filling you again. pushing his length into your depth just how you liked it, knowing it drove you insane. knowing it was just enough to make you want to cum again. his strokes were painfully slow, making your body wallow in a feeling of pleasure and anxiousness.  he bites his lips again.

“I think I like you like this. not being able to cum. you feel better around me”.

he’s groaning and you felt heat sit in your cheeks. your hips bucked up with need and he’s snapping his hips into you until he felt you stutter again. you pant heavily, grasping his shirt.

“yyeonjun please--pplease don’t stop I need to cum!”.

“tell me who wears versace cologne”. he snarls. in absolute desperation you answer, “a cclose friend of mine!”.

and just as you were about to finally cum his hips come to a halt once more.  you felt tears cascade down your cheeks. he chuckles in the midst of your pain.

“and you weren’t even smart enough to put your bra on before coming home to me. you’re pathetic as fuck. do you know that?”. he rocks his hips down again with brutal thrusts.

“jjunnie I’m sorry! it’s just I’ve been feeling so unsatisfied lately“.

yeonjun casts his eyes down on you with no remorse. he cared nothing about your explanation or your tears. you whimpered against his chest.

“how long have you been doing this? don’t lie to me”.

your needy cries were muffled into the material of his shirt. you decided to reply honestly. “s-since jayce was three months”. you sniffle.  “please let me cum yeonjun”.

for an affair that he thought was only just a few weeks ended up being months. yeonjun couldn’t believe you. he couldn’t believe you’d intentionally sabotage the family that the both of you started together. he knows he was stressed and moody lately but it was because he was taking care of jayce by himself. and you were no where to be found. tears rimmed his eyes.

his hips stop and he cums good and hard just how he hoped. except you didn’t. you were a tear stained mess beneath him shaking and crying. yet he didn’t care. he leaned off of you and started zipping up his pants. and almost as if he could sense that his father was near, jayce began to softly cry in the next room over.

yeonjun glares down at you in pure disgust.

“I want you to pack your stuff and get out of my house”.

[sweetcathedral]

Note: Final part! Part 1 & Part 2 are here.

⚠️: Reader’s discretion is advised. This chapter contains forms of dubious consent and explores the theme of sex being used as self-harm.

Suna turns his attention to him. “Don’t you get tired?” He questioned with purpose.

“That doesn’t matter,” Tsukki replied defensively.

“Yes, it does.” He takes another puff of his cigarette.

“I was just asking if you were free or not—”

“Your habit of sleeping around isn’t for pleasure or self satisfaction anymore, right?” It was pointless trying to make someone like Tsukki come to the self-realization of his habit, so Suna decided to just force him to come out with it, regardless of the outcome. “Constantly sleeping around with no regard to whom you’re doing it with. And if I say no, then you’ll just call one of your toys out for the night.”

“I thought we agreed that this relationship wouldn’t go anywhere beyond fucking each other.” Tsukki was getting annoyed.

“Is it because of Kuroo’s girlfriend?” Suna ignored him, continuing to press onto the topic. “Is that why you feel the need to fuck someone tonight? Not because you’re turned on or anything, but because you hate the way you feel right now.”

“… shut up …”

Not yet.

“You were mad that there were no flaws to her because you needed to hate her in a reasonable sense.”

“I said shut up …”

More.

“You hated the jealousy you felt and compared yourself to her to see who would be better suited for Kuroo, knowing that he’s already happy in this relationship. You felt empty knowing this and wanted to fill that void with anything to ‘help’ you move on from Kuroo. And you think sex would do the trick?”

Tsukki avoided looking Suna in the eye with his fingers curled into a fist, his nails digging into the palms of his hands. Suna felt the need to keep on pressing him. Anything to let him vent out, so the thought of sex wouldn’t be an option for his outlet right now.

“If you don’t like the way sex is feeling—!”

A sharp pain shot through Suna’s cheek.

“Quit talking like you know how I feel!” Tsukki had slapped him hard across the face.  “I don’t care about whether or not it feels good, I consented to it! So why do you even care?! I never asked you to care in the first place!” He snapped.

There.

“You may not have asked for it, but you need it! Someone to care for you, at least!” Suna fumed, letting the cigarette drop to the ground from his lips.

Tsukki collected his composure, deeply exhaling. “Fine. I’ll call someone else then.”

“For fucks sake, would you listen,” Suna sneered, grabbing Tsukki and holding him up against the wall by the arms. “The way you’re handling this isn’t right. You’re not thinking straight, you need to take a breather.”

“I’ll decide how I handle myself,” Tsukki yanked himself out of his grip, storming back into the restaurant.

Again, Suna wasn’t able to get through to him properly. It always ended like this anyways, everytime he tried to get Tsukki to let loose another way, he always ended up leaving him for another. Time and time again, he’d fight with Tsukki to reason with him, helping him be more self aware with himself.

Tsukki was right, Suna didn’t know how he felt and he might’ve been invasive with what he said, but Tsukki wouldn’t have reacted that way if what he said was wrong. He knows that feelings were out of the question, but is it so wrong to be worried about Tsukki’s well being, despite being in a sex-only relationship. Does he need to have feelings for him to care? Tsukki didn’t have to depend on him with everything, only when he felt like he couldn’t shoulder the burden anymore. That’s what Suna established this relationship for: not only to keep Tsukki from recklessly sleeping around with strangers, but to also help carry the burden for him. Communication, that was all Suna needed.

When he got back into the restaurant, Suna had forgotten about Tsukki slapping him across the face that his cheek had noticeably swollen up.

“Suna, your face!” Atsumu frantically put his glass of iced water to his cheek.

Suna winced, only realizing how painful it felt. That was one hell of a slap.

“What happened?!” Hinata worriedly asked.

Kageyama gave him his last yakitori to make him feel better, while Kenma asked the waiter for some ice.

“Hey, where’d Tsukki go?” Suna looked at his empty seat.

“He left to go meet up with a friend,” Hinata informed.

Friend my ass.

Memories of the sexual marks on Tsukki’s body flashed in Suna’s head.

He checked his phone for any messages. Nothing. Obviously, Tsukki wouldn’t message him any type of reassurance after fighting like that. Looking back on it now, he feels guilty for being the reason to push Tsukki into that decision. Fuck, I should’ve said yes.

“You okay?” Kenma asked with a concerned look on his face.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Suna painfully smiled, laughing it off as he internally blamed himself for tonight’s ordeal. Thinking that he could’ve done better to help Tsukki.

* A picture of Suna and Tsukki with their fans is shared.*

~.x.~dinobear~.x.~: tsukki!!!

rrx.98: saw this on my friends ig, im so jealous😭

xxx.~ali.supremacy~.xxx: LUCKY!!

keiko_katanaka_: (reply to @rrx.98) your friends are so cute !

rrx.98: (reply to @keiko_katanaka_) thank youuu, I honestly love them❤️❤️

user99109992844: where did the girl in the middle get her top from??

apple_pie_2: so prettyyyy

zoomzoom: @chuupetchi im saving this

zoomzoom: @sumatso @tofurice @orange.ritz

orange.ritz: Suna can smile🥺

sumatso: aww Sunaa

tofurice: 🥰

* A picture of Kenma, Hinata, Tsukki, Kageyama, Atsumu and Suna at their table at the Korean bbq restaurant is shared. *

user10177498232: omg! I work there but I wasn’t working this shift

user32334700981: WAS THIS TODAY???????

rrx.98: I work near there😮

bokurokuto: @zoomzoom you guys went without me?☹️

zoomzoom: (reply to @bokurokuto) @akaashikeiji

akaashikeiji: (reply to @bokurokuto) we went out today

~chan.yan05~: Ken and Hina are so cute !!

realanon00: I saw Suna and Tsukki head to the back, but I didn’t wanna follow after what happened to Suna

user44448103945: (reply to @realanon00) I feel bad for him ….

user30004847269: (reply to @realanon00) wait what happened

realanon00: (reply to @user30004847269) Suna had a stalker incident

* Article: Accused stalker who stabbed pro volleyball player pleads ‘not guilty’ by reason of insanity link is shared. *

* Article: Suna Rintarou of EJP taken out for the remainder of the season to recover from stab wounds link is shared. *

* Article: Pro volleyball player, Suna Rintarou, rushed to ICU in critical condition after altercation with stalker link is shared. *

* Article: Pro volleyball player, Suna Rintarou, miraculously survives critical stab wounds to the lower abdomen link is shared. *

* Article: Suna Rintarou in critical condition after stalker altercation, EJP coach rushes the decision to take him out for the rest of the season link is shared. *

* Article: Fans pray outside the hospital of Suna Rintarou, wishing him a speedy recovery link is shared. *

user30004847269: 😧😧😧😧😧

~chan.yan05~: aw man i remember this….

clx.90s: my heart sank when i read how bad his condition was

2k1990s: i remember watching the games, all of them started with a moment of silence for Suna

littletibetanfox: the atmosphere was so heavy during that season, im glad he recovered well

realanon00: Suna came back with a swollen cheek, but that was after Tsukki got back and left..

xxx.~ali.supremacy~.xxx: 👀

godcomplex101: yikes😬

user50011823241: Tsukki and Suna have been hanging around each other a lot lately

apple_pie_2: but theyre in diff teams

godcomplex101: oop tea???

user30004847269: its also not the league season yet

realanon00: maybe they live together ?

rrx.98: their teams are in diff prefex

clx.90s: i mean they have summer practices now so maybe its another training camp 🤷‍♀️

apple_pie_2: truu

zoomzoom: @chuupetchi

orange.ritz: (reply to @zoomzoom) 😗

sumatso: (reply to @zoomzoom) Suna you good?

darealest02: i know Tsukishima sleeps around a lot, my older brother went to college with him

rrx.98: (reply to @darealest02) wait whatt

_____fiveunderscores.: (reply to @darealest02) huuhhhh

clx.90s: yeah.. everytime i see a recent pic of him he always has a hickey somewhere new

zoomzoom: @guccibird @yachan96 collect your boy

guccibird: (reply to @zoomzoom) ….

yachan96: (reply to @zoomzoom) we’re not with him 24/7, its my first time hearing of this

bokurokuto: (reply to @zoomzoom) we see him most of the time, we can talk to him

zoomzoom: (reply to @bokurokuto) only during our summer intensives

bokurokuto: (reply to @zoomzoom) yeah! like now!

* A video recording of Suna and Tsukki fighting at the back of the restaurant from a public street view is shared. *

zoomzoom: 🤭

orange.ritz: noooo

bokurokuto: oh..

rrx.98: WHAT

guccibird: @yachan96 I CANT HEAR WHAT THEYRE SAYING

yachan96: (reply to @guccibird) WAIT ME TOO

clx.90s: DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT THEYR SAYING

zoomzoom: @chuupetchi I KNOW YOURE ONLINE

user30004847269: naahhhh

user30004847269: this is a lieeeee

xxx.~ali.supremacy~.xxx: 😶😶

apple_pie_2: 😳

~chan.yan05~: 😨😨

realanon00: wait who uploaded this ???

realanon00: howd you get this

user77700178329: i was on my way back from work until i heard yelling coming from the restaurant

user77700178329: it was eerily quiet too, so they were loud

user50011823241: shiiit

* A video recording of Suna and Tsukki fighting at the back of the restaurant from a public street view was removed. *

realanon00: oh?

user77700178329: awkard

apple_pie_2: that was quick

sumatso: @zoomzoom you get that?

zoomzoom: (reply to @sumatso) ya I got that

sumatso: (reply to @zoomzoom) send that to us @tofurice @orange.ritz @guccibird @yachan96

zoomzoom: @bokurokuto practice is gonna look awkward….

bokurokuto: (reply to @zoomzoom) dw we can fix this 😊

zoomzoom: (reply to @bokurokuto) no, its not our business

bokurokuto: (reply to @zoomzoom) their our friends 👯

bokurokuto: (reply to @zoomzoom) they need our help

zoomzoom: (reply to @bokurokuto) @akaashikeiji

akaashikeiji: @bokurokuto i think we should leave this to them

xxx.~ali.supremacy~.xxx: could they be dating ??

~chan.yan05~: dont know, i mean if they are theyre doing a good job at keeping it lowkey

rrx.98: 👀👀

user77700178329: nah theyre just friends

user77700178329: i overheard Suna trying to get Tsukishima to stop sleeping around, apparently hes getting outta hand now😬

2k1990s: oh nooo😔

clx.90s: i feel bad, I hope he’s okay

apple_pie_2: ew..😒

littletibetanfox: i hope Suna’s okay, that slap looked painful 😖

[f33itan]

💛⚜️Pᴀʀᴛ 1: Tᴏʀᴛᴜʀᴇ ɪs Gᴏʟᴅᴇɴ⚜️💛 (From my Wattpad)

A/N: Ok, this was something a mutual of mine said here on Tumblr, and I decided to write a oneshot about it. Might be very VERY slight angst, nothing bad enough to actually be put under that umbrella though, anyways, enjoy this, and ty for the reads! :)

CW: MENTIONS OF RAPE, DEGRADATION, AND MORE FOUL WORDS THAN USUAL. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

B/N: Your Mother's boyfriend's name

M/N: Mother's name

꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂

"Oi, Y/N! Go get me another pack of beer from the store!"

"Yes father!" Damn that pig looking bitch. I'm just some fucking girl, trying to protect her mom from this demon of a person! Heck, he's not EVEN a person! He's the devil himself!! Man, I wish dad was here...

When you were in about 7th grade, your real father got killed in a massacre a couple cities over. He was not only a police officer, but a great father and husband as well. He treated you and your mother amazingly, and you thought life couldn't get anymore perfect, but soon that all went down hill. After his death, your mother's health depleted and she felt empty inside. She needed somebody else to make her complete. She decided to call an old friend from high school, and next thing you know he moved in. He seemed like a nice guy at first, but soon enough he was beating you guys mercilessly, enough to leave large bruises and scars whenever you didn't do exactly what he asked, in your eyes though, it was more of an order. You hated being ordered around, but you hated your mother getting beaten around even more. It seemed like a blessing that he hasn't tried to rape her, but god knows what he'll do, he's unpredictable

With all of this happening, you decided to tell him you were doing some "extra curricular" classes in college, but what you were actually doing was taking the Hunter's Exam and learning nen. Your biological father was kind-hearted and fun to be around, but he was also strict and sometimes a bit harsh, though he always meant well. Before his passing, all three of you would go out on the weekends to train, exercise, or do something that would enhance your body power and brain power. Because of this, all of you were exceptionally smart, and bodies all well toned. Sometimes your excursions would be going to a park and practicing a sport, driving to the snow and sledding, skiing, snowboarding, and every once in a while going to another state to zip line, try animal encounters, or take a family friendly class in that state's heritage and customs.

Since you were accustomed to hard core training and events, you thought the Hunter's Exam was quite fun, and was a test to your skills. After that, you were scouted out by a strong nen user by the name of Biscuit Krueger. You and her had lots of fun training, and with her pushing your limits to the utmost best, you turned out to be a specialist.

(Whenever I imagine myself in Hunter x Hunter, this is always my nen type and stuff LMAO)

Your power was called, Black shadow. You could have up to 10 weapons on hand, completely subjected to doing your bidding. These weapons were linked to you through blood, and they were surrounded with a substance that appeared to be black mist. The weapons you most preferred to practice with and use were your katana, blood string, and scythe. You could also make a weapon yours by cutting a fingertip and letting the blood drip onto the weapon, altering the appearance then gaining that black "mist", showing that it was now yours. The downside to this technique was that those "shadows and mist remnants" were your sleep. The darkness in your mind and the shadows all around you were taken and used for that power. In turn, you were always tired, yawning, and had bags under your eyes. Another plus side though was that you had a nen created chamber that had every weapon you owned. A girl can have some fun toys, can't she? You had tools for torture (whenever you took an opportunity to try it), many varieties of weapons, and of course, more snacks. But unlike B/N, you didn't have just fatty snacks. You had regeneration potions, healthy snacks, and special nen created "snacks" to help with different things, which all of these you had collected through pulling some strings. Your mother was worried, but you said it was all just college things. Yeah, just college things..

Ill make that pig bitch pay for what he has done to my mother!

Feitan POV -or whats going on with him- :

"What time, is it.."

"8 AM Fei!"

"Shut up, green eyes, too loud."

"Oh Fei don't be rude! It's mean!"

"That's, the point."

"Oh wait, Shalnark, what this?"

"What do you mean?"

"This... gold string?"

"OI SHALNARK, FEITAN, COME ERE' REAL QUICK!"

"Phinks, what, do you, want-" Phinks just ignored his question and pointed to the TV.

This is Channel 12, reporting live from York New City Town Square. People all over the city are claiming to be seeing a string tied to their left ring finger, leading them to some unknown destination! What is this string? Who put it there?-

"AY AY IM ON TV! THE STRING THINGY JUST LEAD ME TO THIS BEAUTIFUL GIRL AND NOW WERE DATING! SUPER AWESOME!"-

I apologize for the interference, but this string appears t be leading people to.. partners? Soulmates? Find out tomorrow morning, this is Amy Starwick from Channel 12, signing out.

"What. The. FUCK."

"OH MY GOD OH MY GOODNESS HOLY SHIT FEITAN YOU HAVE A SOULMATE!!"

"Nope-"

"YESS YOU DOOOOOOO"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP CHEERY BITCH-"

"No❤️" Since Feitan was on his last nerve with Shalnark, he decided to stomp over towards Chrollo in the main room, but Chrollo just chuckled.

"Wanna go find your soulmate? See if that things real?" Feitan just stared at the ground, lightly shifting his feet.

"Go ahead, I don't mind."

"Just, doing it, out of, curiosity."

"Mhm, curiosity, go find them." And with that, he was dismissed. Feitan wanted to say it was curiosity, but deep down he had this feeling there was something else, but what was it? It made his stomach tingle and he didn't like it one bit. He tried to ignore all of this, and just shrugged it off...

꧁꧂꧁꧂TimeSkip to Next Day꧁꧂꧁꧂

Your POV + some Feitan POV:

"Alright, today's the day, he'll be at his work, and on his break, i'll set the plan in motion.." Both me and mom don't like him, and I don't know about her, but I sure hate him, every ounce of him. The plan is simple: 1. Capture mom's boyfriend, 2. Take him to an abandoned building, 3. Torture him and get all of the answers I need, and 4. Kill him. His break is at 12, and he usually goes to get takeout every other Friday, what a pig. I'll give him a taste of his own medicine.

Time: 11:30 AM

Ok, I have everything ready. Fully energized to the utmost extent, Elixirs to bring him back in case he passes out too early, and- what? He's leaving for lunch early? PERFECT! You ran behind some buildings and hid in a two-way alleyway, waiting for him to pass by...

Here we go..

One..

Two..

THREE!

You covered his head with a sack, and took his phone out of his back pocket. Before heading over to your post, you laced the inside of the sack with some sleeping powder and pressed it against his nose and mouth. Within moments he passed out, and you typed in what you hoped to be his password, which was correct. Around 12:30, you were going to text one of his coworkers that he would be "going to a restaurant across town, and ditching work for a day, not wanting to see his stupid good for nothing girlfriend or his dumb daughter." You knew he called you both this because of going through his text messages when he wasn't looking or when he was sleeping. Little did you know that somebody was watching you from afar.

"Hmm... So, she, my, what do people, call it.. soulmate? Seems, interesting..."

Time: 12:00 PM

"Jesus, I new he was a fat ass but I didn't know he weighed this much!" You were tugging him from his legs through the back ways of York New. You wanted to find a secluded area, where once you were done with him you could just toss him somewhere for the birds and maggots to eat. After walking for what seemed like hours, you came across a set of abandoned buildings, specifically the one you laid out some extra things. A couple extra weapons, some towels, a change of clothes, a chair and some rope, a couple of flashlights, and of course, some snacks. Lucky for you, the douchebag you've been dragging around like a rag doll was still out cold, so you picked him up and tossed him on the chair, tying his wrists, ankles and neck to the chair.

"Maaannn, this is boring!! When the hell are you gonna wake up?!" As if on queue, you saw his eyes start to flutter open, and you immediately grabbed your box cutter. It wasn't a weapon used by your nen, but it was quite effective.

"What.. who.. wait- Y/N!? WHAT THE FUCK?! UNTIE ME NOW BEFORE I BEAT YOUR ASS!!" you didn't notice it, but Feitan was watching from the building over.

What, the fuck? Why she kidnap him? That pig? Why? Confusing, gotta keep, watching.

You shoved the box cutter into his left cheek, and you bathed in the glory of hearing his screams of pain.

"How does this feel, you bitch? Everything you've done to my dear mother, everything you've done to me, and heck, YOU WERE PROBABLY BEHIND MY DAD'S MURDER DURING THAT FUCKING MASSACRE!!" B/N noticed the tears in your eyes, and took this to his advantage.

"So what if I was? Both of your parents were pathetic anyways."

"NO THEY AREN'T! YOU'RE THE REASON WHY MY MOTHER'S LIKE THIS NOW! YOUR THE FUCKING REASON FOR EVERYTHING SHITTY THAT'S HAPPENED TO ME!!"

"Heh, hehe.. hahaHAHAHA! YOU KNOW GOD DAMNED WELL THAT ALL OF YOU ARE PATHETIC! WANNA KNOW WHY I GOT WITH YOUR MOM!? BECAUSE SHES HOT. AND SHE HAD GOOD MONEY FROM YOUR FUCKING DAD. YOU KNOW WHAT I WAS GONNA DO?! YOU KNOW WHY I TOOK OFF EARLY TODAY?! I WAS GONNA RAPE YOUR MOTHER AND MAKE YOU WATCH, THEN KILL BOTH OF YOU AND RUN OFF WITH ALL OF YOUR MONEY!! AND YOU KNOW WHAT'S IRONIC?! I DON'T HAVE ONE. SINGLE. FUCKING. REGRET. IF IT WASN'T FOR YOUR DAD, YOU SOULDN'T HAVE HAD THE NERVE TO DO THIS, YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN ABORTED!!"

You couldn't handle this anymore, tears were falling down your face rapidly as you grabbed the duct tape and closed his mouth shut.

"I don't give a fuck about what you say.. I'm going to kill you here. This is your grave. Someday, I'll join you in hell, and when I do, I'll torture you again, and the Devil will laugh. You just watch and ducking wait you, you.. PATHETIC WORTHLESS PIG ASS SLOPPY ASS NASTU FUCKING BITCH!" With that, you grabbed a couple super worms in each hand and shoved them into his ears. Even with the duct tape, you could hear his screams of agony as the worms dug deeper into his ears. You then got our your katana and slashed him across the stomach, and shoved even more worms into that open wound of his. Quickly, you poured a large bottle of the elixir you had brought over him to keep him from dying so quickly. Box cutter still in hand, you carved small lines all over his arms and legs, then ripped off the tape to hear his desperate cries. You imagined he wanted to be dead, but you didn't care. His pain and you pain mixed together and you just started laughing. You through your head back and let yourself laugh. all of the pain this man has caused you and your mom will be repayed today.

But the pressure and stress was too much to handle. Your laughing of victory soon turned into screams and more tears, as you let yourself fall to the ground, not even noticing you didn't hit it hard, something had caught you, or someone..

What the shit am I doing?

Am I really going to kill him?

What's wrong with me?

What will mother think?

What would dad do?

What am I doing with my life?

You soon snapped out of all of those negative thoughts though, as you noticed something caressing your face lightly.

"Rest, now. He, won't die, so quickly. I'm, Feitan." You were a sniffling and crying mess, so all you could do was rush into Feitan's chest and cry. Without thinking, he wrapped his arms around you and held you close. He had no idea what he was doing, for he had only seen this kind of skin on skin contact in movies. So, he did what those people in the movies did.

"Don't, worry... It's all, going to be.. okay."

Word Count (Including author notes, etc) : 2251

-Wrote February 3, 2021-

Unedited sorry about that lol-

Part 1...

[diamondcamefromhell]

Dance

Summary: this was a request by @rosasteri [who may as well be dubbed my creative muse bc the request i get from them make me super inspired ]“ hi, can I request Jaskier x reader? jask, geralt and reader stay in tavern. jaskier plays his music, but other bard comes and jaskier decides to take a rest. people start to dance so jaskier offers to reader his hand and trying to convince her to dance. but reader doesn't know how to dance so Jask teaches her “

Warnings: swearing

Word Count: 2,019

A/N: i really dont have anything to say, lmao, for some reason im at a loss for words today - spent most of it writing original story, and now have an this dying rge to read percy jackson, so guess i know what i will do tonight, lol, either way

any and all feedback is appreciated and can be left anonymously on my ask page <3

I heard raindrops outside before Jaskier strung his lute again. I peak out the window to see lighting strike somewhere far away. The tavern, however is dry and safe. A fireplace is lit near me, providing a good bit of warmth. I lean my back against it now, looking at Jask.

His shadows remind me of the monsters Geralt slays, splashed across the floor. The wood creaks beneath his feet, but his music overpowers it as his singing fills the room. I hear Geralt grunt in front of me as he chugs his ale. Our eyes meet, and while he seems annoyed, he also looks happy. He got rid of some noonwraiths today, so we were celebrating. The townsfolk were welcoming to their newly found hero and his sidekicks.

Jaskier prances to our table, as if to check if his friends were paying attention to him. He made it really hard not to. I wink at him, as he offers me a smile, dancing away now. I sip my wine, taking eyes off the bard to look at the witcher. His gaze was glued to the window, but a smile was on his lips. I decided not to bother.

I hear some disturbance come from the entrance, as a man rushes in. He’s wet from the rain, but I doubt he cares about that. From underneath his jacket he pulls out a lute, inspecting it to see if there is any rain damage on it. I see his shoulders relax and the answer is clear.

Jaskier seems to notice a fellow bard too, stopping his lute. He waves the guy in, allowing him to take the honours of entertaining the guests, as he drops next to Geralt.

“I need a break.” He exhales the words, taking his ale and sipping it.

“Oh yes, being a bard is sure tiring.” Geralt teases, as Jask nudges him.

“Try to do it yourself, then.” I smirk at them, twirling the drink in my glass. “Y/N, do you think being a bard is easy?”

“Easier than being a witcher.” I mumble, chuckling. “But sure, it’s not easy.”

“I have to entertain the masses, you know what happens when they aren’t pleased?” Jaskier dramatically throws his hands in the air, looking to Geralt and back to me.

“They throw rocks at you?” I can’t help but let out a laugh and Geralt’s comment, who in response smirks. “Because that’s what some do when they see a witcher. They throw rocks or whatever happens to be at their disposal. One time it was a cat.”

“Oh no.” I say, now fully laughing. I see Jaskier break character too, as he giggles. “Cats hate you, Geralt.”

“Feelings mutual.” He smirks, as I giggle again.

The silence between is comfortable, but soon the rained upon bard fills it. His lute sounds different, not the sounds I’m used to, but it’s still pleasant. His voice now fills the tavern and I steal a glance at Jaskier, to see what he thinks.

From what I can tell, he likes it. His lips are curled in a smile, and he’s nodding along, without realizing it. I relax, glad he’s not getting competitive. Our eyes meet and he sticks his tongue out.

“I wont try to overplay him.” He says, as I smirk.

“Not again.” Geralt corrects the bard, who flushes red, downing his drink.

“Shut up.” He practically gargles at us.

I laugh. One time at a similar evening, another bard came in and Jaskier wasn’t happy about it. He also wasn’t on his first ale. Or his fifth, for that matter. So he tried to overplay the other guy, and things went wrong faster than Geralt and I could grasp. Our good friend was trying so hard, he danced into a pillar, breaking his lute in half, and then crying.

We helped him out. After we stopped laughing.

I see people spring to their feet now, as the empty space is filling up with patrons, dancing. Couples and friends alike start to move. In turn, bard makes his melody more cheery. I appreciate that, nudging my head side to side in beat.

“Y/N! Let’s dance!” Jaskier yells suddenly, startling me. I stare at the bard, who is already on his feet.

“Jaskier, you know I don’t dance.” I say, as he rolls his eyes.

“Stop being a party pooper and just do it.” He teases as I cross my arms. He grabs my shoulder shaking me.

“I don’t know how to dance!” I argue, and he stops the shaking only to start poking my arm.

“I’ll teach you.” He argues back and I see Geralt raise his eyebrows.

“Teach Y/N how to dance into pillars? Don’t let her embarrass herself like that.” I give witcher a thankful look, but Jaskier is relentless.

“Geralt, fuck off.” He puts his hand right up Geralt’s face, before looking to me again. “Y/N, let’s go!”

“Fine!” I finally give in, as Geralt looks like he is really close to losing his shit and hitting Jask or, gods forbid, his lute. I’d rather avoid another broken-lute-and-cry situation, as funny as it was.

I lazily stand up, and before I can even gain proper footing, Jaskier drags me out. I nearly run into one of the dancers, but at a last second, Jask pulls me out of the way. I glare at the bard who offers me an apologetic smile.

I straighten up, as he starts to step around, dancing. I blankly stare at him, not moving an inch of my body. Jaskier sighs, grabbing my hand and waving it around.

“Loosen up, Y/N.” I roll my eyes.

“I’m dancing. It’s called a statue.” I tease, as Jaskier nudges me, laughing.

“Just step around.” I raise my eyebrows. “Like you really need to use the restroom, but in time with the music.”

“What now?” I laugh, as he rolls his eyes, pulling away.

I try to take his advice the best of my ability, stepping around a little, but timing it with the music. Jaskier grins and I can tell he’s trying to hold back a laugh. I stop, getting embarrassed, once he realizes that, he laughs and hugs me.

“I’m sorry, it’s just your legs, they move, but from waist up you look dead.” He laughs in my ear as my face heats up.

“Well should I just act like I’m dying and shake all around?” He snickers, pulling away. His hand still on my shoulder now slides to my hand.

“Let me lead you.” I press my lips, nodding.

“Sure.” I say, through my teeth.

“Do the leg thing.” I am not sure what he means, so the bard sighs. “The toilet dance.”

“Right.”

I do ‘the leg thing’ as Jask gently moves my arms around. He sees that I am not showing much, if any, restraint, so he grows more confident and bold in his moves. I feel like a ragdoll, dragged around, and he starts spinning.

Until I trip, falling and getting under his feet. He crashes on top of me, and I swear I hear Geralt laugh.

“I can’t breathe!” I grunt, as I feel Jaskier vibrate on top of me. It takes me a moment to realize he’s laughing. I try to push him, but the bard just won’t budge. “Jaskier, for the love of god!”

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” He says, finally lifting himself off me. I glare at him as he extends his arm to me, helping me up. He breaks out into laughter yet again. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?” I say, cleaning my dress with my hands. I feel my cheeks heat up as I see people snickering looking our way.

“Like you hate me.” He pokes my cheek, removing his hand before I can punch it away.

“But I do.” I respond, as the bard ends his song. People cheer for him, as Jaskier and I stare at each other. I struggle to keep a straight face, breaking into a smile. “I hate you.”

“Sure you do.” Jaskier purrs, winking at me, before the bard plays another song, and he starts dancing around.

I don’t wait for him to drag me around again, and I start moving. I do the toilet dance, not forgetting my upper body this time. Jaskier looks me up and down, smiling. The tune pics up in speed, and I struggle to keep up, scared of tripping.

“Don’t be so scared.” I hear the familiar voice, as if he just read my mind. I give a quick glare at the bard, before focusing back to my feet. “You’re thinking too much.”

“If I don’t, I’ll be falling too much.” I hiss, still not lifting my eyes, until his hand lands on my shoulder, stopping me.

“Just look at me or close your eyes, and listen to the music.” He does a twist, grinning. “Let the music carry you.”

“I’m not a musician, Jaskier. Music doesn’t carry me.” He beeps my nose in response, an even bigger grin painting across his face.

“Music has a power to carry anyone. You just need to allow it to do it.” He waves me closer to himself, so I lean in. “And the secret is, nobody knows how to dance. That’s why nobody also judges others. We all just… allow ourselves to move.”

I step back, taking a deep breath in. I close my eyes, listening to the fast-cheery tune. I focus on the bards voice, as it wraps around me. I try to let go off my anxiety and fears, letting my body lose. I try not to think of what I’ doing and who may be watching. I follow the notes like my body is the instrument.

It feels freeing, as if some weight has been lifted off my chest.

I open my eyes, expecting to see some judgemental looks, hear some laughter, but just like Jaskier said, nobody was judging me. I even stole a glance at Geralt, who was simply paying no attention to us. I look at the bard, as he gives me an encouraging nod.

The song dramatically slows, and he now steps closer, extending his arm. I never danced with anyone, but Jaskier seemed like a good practise. We were great friends, so if something went wrong, I am less likely to want to dig myself into a hole.

His hand lands on my waist as I put mine on his shoulder. He takes our free hands, lifting it to the side. I know males lead, so I try to do the same thing. Give in to music, and follow the energy, which in this case was my partner. Our eyes meet and his blue ones shine, reflecting the fire. I smile, not even realizing we are, in fact dancing.

“You’re a natural.” He says, gently pushing me so I would turn.

“Maybe you’re a good lead.” He pretends to be surprised, twisting me around.

“Yes, I think that’s it.” He finally agrees, winking, as I let out a giggle. “See, dancing isn’t that bad.”

“I guess so.” I am reluctant to agree, I know he wont let me live this down. “As long as no pillars happen to be in a way.”

“You will never forget it, will you?” He says through his giggle, and I shrug.

“Maybe. But I wont forget this either.” I say, as he gives me a kind smile.

The song ends and I don’t let go off his hand, dragging us back to our table. We sit down and Geralt looks at us.

“You two danced well.” He says and I am taken back, as it is rare to get a compliment from witcher.

“Thanks.” I whisper, looking at the table.

I let go off Jaskiers hand, my heart beating faster. I don’t hear whatever he starts to blabber about, and I notice Geralt look away too. A different song picks up, and I cant stop my feet from dancing under the table.

I look out the window to see the rain has passed. The sky is clearing up.

[datleggy]

A hazing you say, to you say, do tell us more please.

oh839ruef it is 6am and im still drunk from the nite before so forgive this mess but u asked for it >:]

TK hasn’t been sleeping well at all; just a bunch of restless nights in a row, all of these thoughts keeping him awake.

Thoughts of his ex boyfriend—almost fiance’—thoughts of his father’s diagnosis—what would he do without him in his life?—and of course, those pesky little thoughts called addiction, which never really leave his subconscious, not even on the good days…

He ends up falling asleep in one of the trucks when he’s supposed to be cleaning, but God, he can’t help himself, he’s exhausted and the cushions are so warm and inviting.

Only minutes later Judd and Marjan come across TK, who’s sleeping soundly, (for the first time in over a week, though they wouldn’t know that) instead of doing his work, and the conniving begins!

They call Paul and the probie over.

“This is team building,” Judd tells Paul, when he asks, not for the first time, if they really think this is the best idea. “A little hazing never hurt nobody.”

Marjan, who’s grinning from ear to ear, agrees wholeheartedly. “Yeah, c’mon! Hurry up with the hose probie!” 

One moment TKs resting peacefully and the next he’s being forcibly dragged out of the rig, giant arms wrapped around him so tight it’s impossible for a half awake TK to wiggle his way out of them.

“Wakey wakey sleepy head!”

He barely has time to react when he’s suddenly being hosed, the water pressure enough to fully wake him. Coughing now and struggling against whoever is holding him still, TK only manages to break free when another set of strong hands grab hold of his shoulders and pull him away from the harsh spray of water hitting his face and chest.

“That’s enough, you guys tryna’ drown him?” Paul shakes his head, grimacing as he looks down at the kid in his arms. TK is soaked through and through.

TK coughs into the crook of his arm, gasping for air. When he finally looks up at the rest of the crew, Judd is expecting some kind of animosity, but what they get instead, is a mischievous grin, “You guys know payback’s a bitch, right?”

Matteo instantly drops the dripping hose like it’s on fire and tries to defend his actions. “They made me do it!”

Marjan huffs, putting away the phone she’d been using to record the whole thing up until now, glaring at the probie. “Scaredy cat.” then she turns around and points the finger at Judd, grinning. “Anyway, it was all his idea.”

Judd raises a brow at her, acting betrayed. “No loyalty, huh?”

Paul pats TKs wet shoulder and sighs, “I tried to stop them, if that’s any consolation.”

TK coughs again, rubbing at his chest, “I mean, a little warning woulda’ been nice.”

Paul raises his hands, “Hey man, you might be canoodling with a cop, but I’m no snitch.”

TK is less than thrilled by all the teasing ‘Oooh’s’ and ‘Aaah’s’ that follow Paul’s comment. “Yeah yeah,” TK’s cut off by another cough. And then another, and another. And after a few more coughs TK realizes he can’t stop, his chest tight, and fuck.

He remembers being six and suffering from asthma up until the age of ten, maybe.

But it’s been over a decade now since his last attack, this can’t be that, can it?

“Hey man, you alright?” Judd reaches for TK, a hand on his shoulder, brows knitted in concern.

TK continues his coughing fit, but manages to shake his head no. The air around him feels thin and his chest is starting to hurt.

Judd blinks, “Shit, you’re not pullin’ my leg, are ya’?” He looks to Matteo, who’s standing there looking about as petrified as he feels at the moment, “Something’s wrong, get Captain Blake, quick!” he orders.

Probie wastes no time, practically tripping over his own two feet in his haste.

Paul helps Judd get TK into a sitting position on the floor, guiding him with gentle but firm hands. “TK, look at me, just shake your head yes or no, do you have asthma?”

TK gasps for air between his bouts of coughing, he shakes his head no but realizes that’s not completely true, “When,” he pauses to cough, wincing and clutching at his chest, “When I was little.” he admits.

Marjan curses. “I’m gonna’ get Cap.” She’s not sure what that’s gonna’ do—she doubts Owen has a spare inhaler from when his kid had asthma over ten years ago, handy on him—but she’s seen the way the two interact, if nothing else, the older mans’ presence will help TK feel a bit less panicked.

Both Captains get there at almost the same time, one after the other, both bending at the knee to get face to face with the young firefighter.

Owen doesn’t have to ask what’s wrong, when he sees his son, because the scene is all too familiar, though it’s been years since the last time it happened. “It’s an asthma attack.” he tells Blake, “He hasn’t had one since he was ten.”

Blake nods, already digging into her kit for a rescue inhaler. “TK, open up, I need you to take two puffs, breathe in slowly for five seconds and try to hold your breath for ten, it’ll help the medicine get into your lungs, can you do that for me?”

TK nods anxiously, letting her press down on the inhaler. He tries to do as he’s told but ends up coughing up the puffs before they can be fully absorbed. “S-sorry.” he can’t catch his breath and the wheezing is only getting worse.

“It’s ok, you’re gonna’ be ok, let’s try it again.” Blake helps him a second time, with Captain Strand now behind TK, rubbing up and down his back encouragingly. “Ready? Slow breath TK, slow breath, c’mon.”

This time TK is able to hold his breath long enough that he can feel the albuterol taking effect on his lungs. Dizzy with relief and beyond exhausted by the exertion, TK nearly falls backwards.

Thankfully Owen is there to catch him, wrapping his arms around the kid carefully and breathing out his own sigh of relief. “Jesus TK.” That’s another gray hair for the books.

TK pats the arm around him, “I’m good.” he assures his dad, though it comes out breathy and short. But he is fine now, just tired, and frankly, embarrassed about having an asthma attack of all things, in front of the entire crew. He tries to get up on his own two feet but the moment he’s standing upright another dizzy spell hits him and if not for Judd who steps in to support him, he’d have ended up right back down on the floor again. “Thanks.”

Judd looks down at him, guilt etched onto his features. “Don’t thank me, Christ kid, I’m the reason all this happened. Shit.”

“What did happen?” Owen asks, looking like a disappointed dad as he stares at his team, all of whom are looking down in shame.

TK rolls his eyes, though it’s hard to act like it was no big deal when he’s still holding onto Judd like a day old calf who just can’t seem to get his legs under him yet. “Dad, it was nothing, it’s not their fault, I—” he doesn’t want to admit the truth. That it’s all the nights of little to no sleep for over a week now that exasperated his asthma, and that the hazing thing only helped push it that little bit over the edge.

“It was my fault.” Judd cuts in, seeing the look of conflict on TK’s face. “I thought a little hazing wouldn’t hurt, but it was stupid as hell and childish and it nearly got TK killed.” he turns to the younger man in his arms. “I’m so sorry man, that was reckless—”

Marjan interrupts, squeezing TK’s shoulder from the side. “It wasn’t just Judd, I ran with it too, I’m sorry TK.”

Paul and Matteo take responsibility too, gathering around TK to apologize.

Though the Captain is grateful that the crew are seemingly handling this among themselves, he still feels the need to say something. “Hazing is for college fraternities and has no place in the work place, and I hope this is the first and last time we need to have this conversation, do I make myself clear?”

This is followed by a chorus of guilty little “Yes Captain”’s.

Hours later, when everything has calmed down and most everyone is in their own bunk, getting ready for bed, TK finds himself in the kitchen, making himself a pot of coffee.

Paul joins him as he’s about to take his first sip. “Nuh uh.” Paul snatches the cup away and pours it down the drain. “That is not what you need.”

TK would be offended if he had the energy, but as it is, he’s just too tired. All that comes out is a faint, “Hey, that was mine.” and it comes out whiny.

“I’m making you some tea.”

TK huffs. “I wanted coffee.”

Paul clears his throat, already boiling the water. “You know��if you ever need to talk, we’re all here for you.”

TK looks away, biting his bottom lip. “I’m fine.”

“If you say so. I just think you need reminding that it’s ok not to be fine sometimes, and it’s even more ok to talk to someone about it, even if all the other person can offer is an ear to listen.” he goes about preparing the tea, throwing in a spoonful of honey for good measure.

TK takes the warm mug, grumbling about his coffee all the while. After a few sips he looks up at Paul, who’s sitting on the stool with his own cup of tea. “I um, it’s not a big thing, I just haven’t really been sleeping. It’s just…” he knows his dad hasn’t told too many people about his cancer yet, and he doesn’t want to go spilling the beans. “It’s a lot on my mind lately, that’s all. And then last week my ex sent me this stupid text telling me I still had some clothes at his place, if I wanted to go pick them up—what the hell am I supposed to say to that? It’s been over three months, why now?”

Paul shakes his head, sipping his tea. “That asshole.”

TK lets out a surprised laugh at the amount of righteous anger in Paul’s voice on his behalf. “Right?!��

They spend a good hour just talking—mostly shit about his ex, and then shit about some of Paul’s exes, and then about life in general—and before he knows it, TK’s downed his entire cup of tea and his head is laying on his arms on the countertop, and his eyelids are so heavy he can barely keep them open.

He hears voices above him, but they’re quiet voices, “Hey big guy, wanna’ help me get him to bed?”

“Yeah, I got sleepin’ beauty.” he can’t mistake that Texan drawl for anyone else but Judd, and soon he feels himself being lifted into a pair of strong arms, and he knows he should be embarrassed to be carried off like this, but he’s too tired to really care and Judd’s surprisingly gentle.

He’s laid to bed and for the first time in a long time, he sleeps soundly throughout the night.

[hardyshoe]

benefits- a roger taylor series

part six

warnings- language

taglist: @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming​

a/n: I was really excited about writing this chapter so I hope y'all like it x

it was Tuesday morning, the sun beat down through the blinds while a movie you weren't paying attention to played. the weather had changed dramatically since last week and you found yourself curled up under your duvet on the sofa most days for lack of a better past time.

 he still hadn't called, they got back three days ago and he was yet to make an appearance. Mary and Freddie had come round on Sunday evening for dinner which after they left reminded you all the more that he didn't care. it hurt more than you could say but at the same time you knew if you saw or even spoke on the phone with him you'd have to tell him, it was just cruel not to at this point. but with every minute that passed while you thought about him you found the resentment for him breaking down a little bit and you couldn't stop it from happening. he'd been out of your life for half a year by his own fault and you were on the verge of forgiving him despite all the pain he caused.

 when the movie ended you flicked off the tv and got out your copy of ‘on the road’ that roger gave you back when you first met him, it still had his name in his messy handwriting inside the cover. if you closed your eyes you could still see the same roger you'd once known in the college library wearing those glasses he hated so much (you loved them) and a pair of jeans with a rip right under the arse. you knew you liked him when he first looked up at you with those perfect blue eyes and pushed the black frames to the top of his messy hair. you'd blushed at the way he looked at you but quickly looked away realising how dumb you looked. when you sat down and opened your book he'd commented on it and thats where it all began, like an unrequited love at first sight. of course you didn't realise you felt quite that strongly for him until he decided to sit next to you one lecture and every lecture from then on. lets just say you looked forward to class much more. over the years he'd met Brian and formed smile and through that you'd met Fred and eventually John when smile changed to queen and Tim went his own way. you also remembered his first gig, he'd been practicing all week and was running on very little sleep but he was still amazing, they blew you away. the last thing that came back to you was that night over a year ago now when you'd gone out to the bar with the boys and had far too much to drink, in your inebriated state you hadn't realised it was roger you were dancing with until it was too late to care. that was where it all began and for some reason it didn't stop like you'd expected it to. through him you had a whole life, a best friend (even though he was a dick), a group of wonderful friends who loved you and in just under three months you'd have two babies that would be half him. 

 you didn't cry this time, instead you smiled down at the book in you hands and ran you thumb over the ink. for the first time since he left you felt genuinely happy, without the over shadow of sadness or doubt.

 your nostalgic daydream ended when you heard loud footsteps running up the stairs in your apartment complex, you cursed yourself for having an apartment with such thin walls. you were curious about who was running up your building but didn't go and investigate because getting up just sounded like a bad idea. however when the steps started to make their way down your corridor you did perk up a bit. then the door opened.

 he stood there in all his blonde glory and you could have sworn he was more beautiful than the last time you'd seen him. his breathing was laboured and he looked like he'd run a marathon. everything about him looked stunning from the way his cloths hung to his body to the sparkle of those god awful shoes. your hands tightened around the book before quickly realising and looking down only to see your belly hidden by the blankets. he didn't know.

 he was the first to speak “please don't throw me out, I needed to see you” he paused again for breath.

“only took you six moths rog” it wasn't a sour comment though, just a statement.

 then it all came pouring out of him “ y/n I'm so sorry, you wouldn't believe how sorry. I've spent the last six months on the verge of a complete breakdown because I thought id lost you forever. I couldn't live with myself if you hated me, id go mad.”

by this point he was crying, and so were you. “fuck it, y/n I love you. I've loved you since I first lay my eyes on you six years ago and ill never stop loving you if you'll have me” he kept going, spouting seemingly endless ways to tell you he loved you, but you couldn't sit there and let it all play out liked you'd dreamed it would so many times, it was time he knew.

 so you stood up feeling the blanket puddle around your toes on the floor, exposing your belly that was clad in a tie die top he'd lent you once. but he didn't notice right away, he just kept talking.

“ you deserve to know and...” his eyes dropped to your stomach and finally he stopped talking. wordlessly you placed a hand on top of the stretched shirt and looked at him through teary eyes. he didn't start shouting, in fact his voice hardly exceeded a whisper when he finally spoke.

“is- is it mine” and finally you were willing to answer the question.

“they are roger” your tone was like his, hushed like you didn't want anyone but the other to hear.

“they?” you nodded

“a boy and a girl”

“im gonna be a dad?” you smiled though the tears, he was.

he hovered a hand near the swell of your belly and you took it placing it on the kicks and covered it with your own hands. he sobbed with you and for ages the two of you stood together in your dusty living room, like a family.

“just so you know this doesn't change anything, I still love you” he looked at you with the gentlest smile you'd ever seen and all your dreams were suddenly not so far fetched.

“I love you too Rog, so much it scares me”

with both his hands he took the sides of your face and softly kissed you. it wasn't rushed or careless, it was kind. it was also everything you wanted since you were 19, everything you'd longed for on the nights too lonely to close your eyes, the only thing that kept you going when everything abandoned you. somebody to love, who loved you back.

 he made tea and came to join you on the sofa and you filled him in on everything he could possibly want to know.

“when are you due?”

“december 17th”

“so your how far along?”

“7 months last Friday”

he hurled questions at you that you were more than happy to answer. it was so liberating to tell him, tell him everything. you had an answer to every question of his no matter how daft except...

“have you thought of any names?” truth was you hadn't. you wanted to know if roger wanted anything to do with you before you came up with anything, it hadn't felt fair to plan something so big when he didn't even know.

 “no I haven't, I didn't want to without you”

“thank you, that means so much. can we think of some?”

you hummed a quick yes and he fell into a deep thought. you'd always liked French names, probably stemming from living in France for a few years as a teen. you spoke a bit of French and it was such a poetic language that a name coming from there just made sense. roger on the other hand liked names with meanings, he really cared for something that would set them up for success.

“okay suzette?” you'd pose the names you like in a slight French accent that roger couldn't get enough of.

“nope she’ll get nicknamed sue.” you agreed and kept looking.

“james?”

“no too common I know like five people called James.”

“Oliver” when roger said it, it sounded right. that was it. little ollie.

“I love it roger, its perfect,” you felt a kick from one of the babies and laughed, “I think he likes it too”

“your right, it is perfect. but what about baby girl?”

“Juliette” he just nodded with conviction.

“so we did it? wasn't too hard.”

“roger that took us over an hour, we went through hundreds of names” you chuckled at him as he stared up at the clock.

“it takes some people months to get a good name, let alone two, we did good”

“we did, just need middle names now.” he groaned at the thought.

“mmm too tired we can do that some other time” he puller you over to him and wrapped those big arms of his around you. it was so blissfully wonderful to sit in his company again, without the fear of him leaving and never coming back. just as your eyes started to shut you heard him whisper to himself under his breath,

“I can't believe I've got you. can't believe I'm gonna have a family. can't believe how much I love you.”

[babyruthe]

lies within lies

fake dating au/trody fic!!

————

okay i made this a while ago but i never finish it,, it was a fake dating trody au but i didn’t really have a plan so i got unmotivated and decided to not work on it anymore but i hope you like what i have!! archie (@governmentassignedbaby) proofread the first half so the second half will have a lot grammatical errors compared to the first half🤟😔 rip im illiterate

————

“GUYS!!! Guys, guys, guys! I have a big problem!” I exclaimed as I hastily ran into the green room. Oh, this is bad, really bad. As I gather my breath, I looked to Justin and Harold. Both look up from their activity, Justin was taking selfies of himself and Harold was playing with his Yo-Yo. I think? I must have spooked Harold because he’s currently tied up by said Yo-Yo. 

“What’s up, dude?” Harold questioned while I tried to untangle him. 

“Okay, so you guys know how Tyler is having a wedding, right?”

Justin nodded knowingly. He wasn’t looking at me anymore and went back to his phone, I’m pretty sure he’s looking through filters. Harold looked confused, “Wait, what? I didn’t get an invite.” Oh.

“I’m sure it hasn’t reached your house yet,” I tried to reassure Harold, though he still looked skeptical. “You know me and Tyler are good friends, he texted me the news. And Justin probably heard it from Lindsay and Beth, they have those gossiping date thingies. Is it that right, Justin?” I raise my voice near the end to get the pretty boy’s attention. 

Justin looks at us. I nod my head towards Harold and motion for Justin to agree. “Oh yeah, that. Yes.” Harold still looks sad. 

“Hey, they probably just sent it to Leshawna thinking you guys live together. Take that as a compliment.”

 I can see his face brighten and he mused, “Yeah, you’re right, I’ll talk to her about tonight. It’s date night.” He wiggled his eyebrows at me as I finished untangling him. Being completely honest, Tyler and Lindsay most likely just forgot to send him an invitation. Reminder to self to text Leshawna.

Justin looked sorta amused as he shook his hands up, “So what’s the big problem?” Harold headed to the couch. Great, I have both of my bandmates’ full attention. And I just realized Trent isn’t here yet… Oh well, he’ll have to wait.

“Okay so I maybe, sorta told, just kinda, perhaps havetoldSierrathatI’mbringingadatetothewedding.” I unintentionally closed my eyes and brace myself for their questions. But nothing comes? I opened my eyes to see two puzzled faces. 

“Dude, what.” Justin blankly states. 

I let out a deep breath, “Okay, Sierra texted me this morning and asked if I wanted to go to the wedding.” Justin looked bored and Harold.. looked Haroldly. “Guys! Like we go together like a date or something.” I started pacing around the room.

“And that’s bad because?” Justin countered. 

“You don’t understand, I don’t want to go out with her. I don’t want to date her!”

“You act like I don’t asked out by tons of girls every day, just ghost her. Duh.” And... he’s back to his phone.

“I can’t. We’re both going to the wedding, duh!” I narrow my eyes at Justin. Also, I can’t ghost people. What? It makes me feel bad. 

Harold stands between us, “Chill.” I soften my glare. Justin still looks annoyed, at least he’s still listening. “So what are you going to do?”

My eyes wander, “I told her I have a date already.”

Justin’s eyes widen and Harold turns to me so fast his glasses almost fall off, “WHAT!” Justin is (really badly) hiding his laughter.  “Guys, that’s why I need your help!” I cry out. “Justin, you laughing doesn’t make me feel better.”

“Sorry but you dating? That’s hilarious.” 

I can’t retort anything back because Trent finally gets here. “What’s hilarious?”

“Cody getting a date for Tyler and Lindsay’s wedding,” Justin explains smugly. 

My face heats up, “Guyssss! This isn’t funny!” I’m getting so nervous my voice cracks. Great, more of a reason for Justin to make fun of me.

“Woah, what? You have a date for the wedding?” Trent looks at me questioningly as he sets down his guitar. 

I plop on the couch and huff out, “No.” I put my hands in my face and sigh. Loudly. I can still hear Justin giggling. I hope Justin can tell I’m suFFERING! 

“You need a date for the wedding?” I feel a weight next to me, Someone sat next to me. I crack my eyes opens, Harold got a chair from the other side of the room is now sitting in front of me while Justin is to my left, wiping tears from his eyes from all of his laughing. Jerk. Trent sat to my right, waiting for an answer. 

“Yes, I need a date.”

“Oh.” He’s thinking. He has this thinking face where he pouts and his eyes are scanning the ceiling for some sort of answer. “What about Sierra? She likes you right?” 

I lean back into the cushion and groan. “Sierra asked him out and he told Sierra he had a date so he doesn’t hurt her feelings.” Thank you, Harold. I always liked you the best. 

“Dang.” 

I stared at the ceiling tiles. “Maybe I don’t go to the wedding?” Ew, I hate the words I just said but maybe I should… 

Trent bumps my shoulder, “Tyler is looking forward to seeing you and Lindsay loves you. You have to go.” 

“Ugh, I hate that you’re right.”  

He gives me a tense smile, “I’m sure there’s a website or app where you can hire a girlfriend for the day. Or days?” Right, he never talks about it but Tyler is super rich. He joined Total Drama for “fun” but stayed for Lindsay. His parents own a bunch of hotels, resorts, and cruises. Plus he’s an only child, so of course, they spoil him and make his wedding at some fancy resort in Dominican Republic or something. All their guests get to stay the week there. Man, I really want to go but I need a date. Please help me, gamer gods.

“I can’t. I told her I’ve been dating someone for a while and Sierra knows everything about me, she’ll know if I hire a date. I need someone I already know.”

“Why did you tell her that?” Justin smirked. I hate those perfect white teeth.

“I didn’t mean to, she just guessed so and I panicked and said yes. I’ll show you.” I reach for my phone, it dings. “It’s Sierra.” 

Justin mumbles, “Speak of the devil and she shall appear.” Which, to be fair, is kinda true. 

“She’s asking who my date is, hmmmmm.” I tell I’m busy with practice and silence my phone. I’ll deal with her later.

“So who can you ask, Noah? Y’all are friends, and I’m sure he’ll begrudgingly do it.” Trent contemplated. 

Justin just had to add, “if you do all his work for a month.” 

“Dude, not helping.”

“Thank you, Trent. At least someone is nice.” I look at Justin. He huffs at me, drama queen. “But that won’t work. I already asked him but he’s going with Alejandro.”

“Gosh. Noah and Alejandro, huh. Don’t they hate each other?” Harold chimed in.

“Yeah... their relationship is weird. They’re not official yet, so don’t tell anyone- I’m talking about you, Justin. Or I’ll tell you-know-who that you still like her.”

“Whatever,” he retorts. But I notice him putting his phone down, I’m glad I have some power over him.

“Okay so, Gwen?” Trent offers.

“Nope, she’s dating Zoey.”

“Beth?”

“Umm. No, that’s like dating myself but girl me. Plus she’s got that hot boyfriend.”

“Heather?”

“Pfft, how believable is that?” Justin blurted.

“Hey hey hey, if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all.” I ranted. I guess I can’t go, or tell her the truth. But I’d rather not go.

Harold gets a text, he takes a quick look and slightly pales. “Sierra is texting me? I never gave her my number…”

“Welcome to my world. So what does it say?”

“She wrote a whole essay. But it’s basically about she thinks one of us is dating you?”

“Ew.” 

“Always the nicest, aren’t you Justin?” 

Harold scrolls through the massive text, “Yeah, she said she had theories about a secret relationship in the group. She’s also crying because, and I quote, ‘the knowledge I possess is too hurtful and I have a Cody shaped hole in my heart.”

I look around to my bandmates, sure, I can’t choose Harold, but maybe one of the others will agree.

“Wait, forget I told you that last part, Sierra just asked me to not tell you. Oops.”

“Nevermind that, she might actually be onto something. Justin can you pleaseeeee pretend.”

He gave me a once over, “Like I’ll be seen with you, there will be photos of this wedding everywhere. No thanks.” 

I knew that would happen, so I turned to Trent. I give him the biggest puppy eyes I can muster. He rubs the back of his neck, “Um... I don’t have a date, so sure?”

 I jump up and give him a big hug, “Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!”

He gently pushes me off. “No prob… babe,” he says, stiffly. At least he’s trying. Justin winces at the poor attempt at a fake relationship.

“If this is really going to happen, you guys need lessons on dating,” Justin states confidently. “Meet at Cody’s place tonight at 5 for dinner and dating tips. And no, you don’t have to come, Harold.”

While Harold is relieved, I’m not. Noah has plans and I can’t have them over. “What about Trent’s? His place is way better.”

Justin looks at me judgingly. I sighed in defeat, “Noah has a date with Alejandro.”

“Yeah, let’s just go to my place.” Trent gives me a small nudge and smile before advising we actually practice. Tyler asked us to play a song at his wedding, we couldn’t say no. Well, Justin can, but he couldn’t say no to money. 

————

I’m standing in front of Trent’s apartment, carrying an assortment of ingredients. At the end of practice, Trent told me he had no food at his place so I felt obliged to get him some. He’s going to pretend to be my boyfriend, getting him some food as a thank you gift seems reasonable. It’s also understood that I come over earlier so we can cook dinner, I think? This fake boyfriend stuff is hard.

I knock on his door and wait. After a minute I knock again, and the door quickly opened up to a tired Trent, “Sorry I was taking a nap.”

He’s hair is… everywhere. I give him a small smile and tap the top of my head. He gets what I’m trying to say and pats his hair down. It’s not fully fixed but it’s good enough. I give him a thumbs up and a wonky grin as he invites me inside. 

Trent headed to the bathroom to work on his hair. “Where should I put the groceries?” I called out.

He stuck his head out and pointed to a small table on the edge of the living room. I set the bags on the table and pulled out one of the chairs. My chair was lopsided, I didn’t realize but I started to swaying slightly as I waited. Trent exited from the bathroom and went towards me. “Hey, what’d you get?”

“I got all the stuff to make some lasagna. Plus whatever else was on the list,” I told Trent as he unpacked the groceries. He picked up a tub of cookies and cream ice cream, looking amused. “It was on sale.” I mean if you were walking by your favorite ice cream and it was a 40% sale you would buy it too. 

“Was this on sale too?” the other boy murmured as he held up a plastic container of rainbow sprinkles. 

“Maybe…”

That made Trent chuckle. All in a day's work for the Codemister. We quickly put up items and started cooking. Not to brag but I'm a pretty good cook. Although Trent is better than me, so he’s in charge for the most part. 

Before long me and Trent are waiting near the oven as the food cooks. The room fills with a nice aroma. Trent has this really sick record player and has a small collection of records. He has a bunch of random indie bands, some date way back, and a few classics. Some old jazzy music played softly as we tried to kill time. Trent was reading some article on his phone, like a loser. It was something about bees I think… I kind of zoned out because I was playing minecraft on my phone. I was hella stoked when minecraft got cool again. 

Knock. Knock. Knock.

I look up to the sound coming from the door, I watch Trent’s backside already heading towards the front door. I watched Trent answer the door, before I know it I hear a small explosion. In those few seconds I was distracted, a creeper decided to show up and blow me up. Luckily, like the pro gamer I am, I’m still alive. I quickly save and close out of the app to greet the new guest, Justin. 

“What’s for dinner?” 

I point to the oven, “Lassaga!” Justin opens the door to the oven and looks on approvingly. 

Trent collects a few plates and hands them to me, “Help me set up.” I place them on the small table and take a seat as Trent gathers cups, “What do you guys want to drink?” 

Justin sat down as he responded, “Do you have sparkling water?” Trent turns around and rolls his eyes. “I’ll take that as a no, I’ll take a coke.”

“I’ll take water.” I like sodas but I can’t have a lot of them, it makes my tummy feel weird and gassy.

Trent comes back with drinks so now class is in session. Sometime between learning about Trent’s brothers and talking about my pet rat in great detail, I love my rat baby, dinner was served. And eaten fast. Justin wants to go to the main thing I dreaded, physical touch. Sierra is… nice and all but she’s way too touchy. Ever since I met Sierra I’ve been more and more closed in and rather not give physical affection to anyone. I mean other than my pet rat, but he likes to bite fingers so I don’t hold him too often. The most I do it give quick hugs, even the thought of handholding is nerve-racking. 

Justin was going off on the importance of being comfortable with your significant other, “if you and your partner don’t look at ease with each other, no one is going to believe you. You got to really sell it. Since Sierra knows you guys have been dating for a few months she’ll expect some action. At least holding hands, it kinda makes sense if Cody doesn’t want to kiss yet.”

“Wait, what does that mean?”

“You’re a loser, you probably haven’t kissed anyone. Other than Sierra, she doesn’t count.” I feel my cheeks burn up, I hate that he’s right. 

“So how should we become believable?” Trent speaks up, the only one with a brain cell. 

“Easy, just hang out with each other. A lot. And hold hands or hug, stuff like that. Overall be comfortable in each other's space.”

I peep out, “What if I’m not comfortable?” I never really told my bandmates about my fear of touch but I guess now is as good as a time as any.

Justin, while he looked slightly sympathetic, overall he didn’t seem to care. “You’ll have to over it then. Just pretend it’s that episode where you guys face your fear.”

“Okay small problem, I didn’t get over my fear and exploded.”

“Gotta do better this time.” Justin is acting so pompous, ugh it’s so annoying. 

I feel a light touch on my arm. I turn to see Trent giving me an encouraging smile. “Don’t worry buddy, we’ll take it slow.” I return the smile, I guess I can get over my fear with Trent. 

Apparently, Justin hates it when couples call their partner ‘buddy’ or ‘pal’ or anything resembling that so Trent heard an earful from him. After Justin finished his rant, he promptly left and now me and Trent are cleaning up.

————

this is where i left off,, i don’t really want to finish it but i am happy with what i have so i hoped you enjoyed! idk how exactly how i would end it but trody becomes canon and they’re very cute and sierre realizes she’s a creep and stops and life is perfect :’)

[early-sxnsets]

soulmates? (oh my god they were soulmates)

(im so sorry this took me a hot second. i’m also sorry this is a bit of a meme/crackfic. probably not what you were expecting, but definitely something i’m here to offer. i blame the discord for encouraging me.)

(the following fic is like, a vague rated M/E. depends on how you rate.)

Everyone’s who’s got magic has got a soul mark.

For some, it’s easy to find. Handprint on their neck, on their cheek. Commonly on their hands, or forearms, while for others, it’s more hidden. Penny’s got two, laying right on her sides. She showed me once, back in fifth year, where her’s is.  They perfectly fit Micah’s palms.

Then there’s people like Baz, whose mark I’d first caught when he thought I was asleep and he’d just gotten out of the shower, having forgotten a change of clothes and letting his towel hang around his hips.

His mark is a single palm pressed to his lower back, settling along the sloping, intimate curve right above his bum.

We all know what it means. Everyone knows what it means.

The slightly off-fleshy pigmented print is wherever your soulmate’s touching you when they first tell you they love you. Whether a light brush, or a firm grip, it fills in where their skin meets yours. Down to the lines of their palms.

For some it’s platonic–a matching one with your best friend, with palms pressed together or hands around shoulders. For others, it’s clearly romantic.

Which is, probably, why I can never stop thinking about mine.

Because it’s around my dick.

Which is something I never really put on full blast, and only two people know–Penny and Agatha.

Penny’s the first person I’ve ever told, after having told her for a while “It’s under my clothes”. But, eventually (as in, when I started dating Agatha), she’d asked me if we “Tested it”.

I asked her what “Tested it” implied, and she gave me a funny look.

“You haven’t tried to put her hand on your mark?”

That brought a load of other questions, partially narrowing down to “Is this cheating?”, then going to “Nah. If it fits, it’s right”, but then the panic set in of knowing Agatha would have to touch my prick, so I’d blurt out an answer right there.

“But we’re not there yet!”

Penny gave me a weird look, followed by me trying to explain as quietly as possible, that my mark isn’t somewhere… normal.

She just looked my trousers, and burst into laughter.

Really helped my confidence there.

But, of course, eventually we had to test it (and it wasn’t the sexiest of tests either). See, Aggie’s mark is one of those brushing marks–the nondescript, light though of fingertips to her knuckles on each side. When we were 14, I caught myself staring at them during dinner every night for a week, wondering how it’d happen. I came to the conclusion, eventually, that it was most probable that someone would be brushing their hands over hers, probably as she’s holding something, like a mug, while saying it.

Intimate, but not in my way. The sort of intimacy you’d get from late night conversations.

Mine’s the unavoidable intimate. The kind where I know we’ll be more than just friends.

Which is why it wasn’t until our Christmas that we tried.

It was in her room, late on Christmas night. We were a bit tipsy, and she was smiling more than I’ve seen her smile in over a year or so.

She’d told me, then that she’s never seen my mark. I told her it depends on a lot. She laughed, and said “What? Our virginity?”

I didn’t laugh back.

Then the room got silent. Nothing beyond the soft crackle of her fireplace before she giggled again, eyes wide at me. “Does this mean?”

“It’s on my prick, yeah. We’d have too…”

Long story short, with a lot of fumbling and awkward stares, we’d realized pretty soon that it was definitely too big of a hand to be her’s.

We broke up the next week. Nothing too emotional–it was understood on both ends. She said she didn’t want to drag us out, and I said I didn’t want to force it if it isn’t fate.

Baz made jokes when we’d split. Said I’m probably mark-less, since I’m Normal born, but I’d shot back that I hadn’t seen his either (I did), so he must be mate-less. His lips twitched, as he snapped off, telling me it’s hidden (I knew) before dropping the conversation entirely.

Two things came about that experience. One, that it’s definitely a larger hand (not particularly guaranteed that it’s a man’s hand, but I have a sneaking suspicion that a bit too big to not be). (Okay yes. It’s bigger than my hand. I’ve checked, with a bit of awkward repositioning of my own hand, and whoever’s it is is probably taller than me. Or just has longer fingers. Or maybe I just have small-ish hands?) Two, that it probably isn’t something I’d particularly want to test.

That is, unless I’d want to invite all the blokes I know over to put their hands on my prick.

(Probably should dabble in the idea that this might make me a bit gay, but that’s a thing I thought not to focused on too much.)

From that point I’d let it slip my mind.

Recede back to where everything else I’d rather not think of sits–nestled between where Watford has come to sit, along with memories of The Mage. I’d much less forgotten about it rather than ignored it, figured it wasn’t worth thinking of.

Even when I got with Baz, we decided not to test it. Neither of our marks.

Not until this morning, when he went to leave for class with a quick peck to my cheek. I’d turned, settling a hand to the small of his back as he spun around to meet me, and hummed a content “I love you, be safe” without really thinking.

We usually just say “Love you”.

I don’t know what came over me for the extra “I”, but I suppose I’d felt it today.

Then is when he promptly froze, staring at me wide-eyed and opened mouth as it hit both of us where my hand is. Where I was holding.

He, to an odd expected relief, didn’t say it back then.

He just murmured a quiet “Love you” before practically running off with a dazed look across his face.

Which is where we’re left now.

Me, waiting at Penn and I’s flat.

Baz, bringing take out for dinner.

And nothing on my mind but my prick, sadly. And it’s in the least-sexual way.

We haven’t quite broken this boundary. Nine months in. Usually, I’m not in the mood (it’s been hard to find any mood recently), or he’s too tired from classes (he began some in early summer), or he’s worried his fangs will pop and… It’s always something. We joke about it, and it isn’t like we haven’t seen each other naked, it’s not something we’ve found a proper way to break through.

But I guess this means we should figure it out today.

I startle a bit when I finally hear him, letting himself in with his key. He greets me with a kiss to my hair, unnervingly silent as he goes to unpack our food.

“So…”

“We don’t need to talk about it.” He’s got his voice his usual icy-flatness, gaze dragged over to me and looking borderline tired. I wonder if he just doesn’t have the energy.

“Do you not want to?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Looks like you don’t.”

He looks over at me, then sighs. “No…”

“Then just tell me if you don’t want to. It’s fine, I’m partially a grown up.” I sit up more. “There’s a lot to process.”

I watch as he drops his hands onto the countertop, gaze studying over the bag as he does his usual, you know, thinking before he speaks (wonder what that’s like). It’s a few seconds before he finally starts, eyes still locked on what’s below him. “It’s not just the action of it. It’s the premise. It’s… knowing something I was scared of being wrong, and the standing fear that–” he tries not to sound choked. He tries so hard, but I can hear it. The small catch in his voice. “That it isn’t right.”

I try to sit up and move towards him, but he shakes his head and exhales.

“If you want to test it, Snow,” he mumbles. “Then we can test it.”

“I…”

“What?”

I bite my lip. “Well, I’m the first one who said ‘I love you’, didn’t I?”

“Yes.”

“Then what makes you think my mark doesn’t match your hand?”

He shrugs. “The constant denial of it for years? The hopefulness I’ve held since you and Wellbelove broke it off–”

I can’t take his moping anymore. Really, I can’t. I spring up from the couch and march over just to snog him silent, nudging him up against the fridge doors as he relaxes and kisses me back. And holds onto me. And keeps me snug, letting me rub my hand over his lower back, feeling safely assured that yes, my hand most definitely does fit there.

“Simon–”

I break us apart, nudging our foreheads together as I shake my head. “Nuh-uh. Nope. Don’t.”

“But…”

“I know you’re the one, Baz. Why else would I put up with you?”

He starts to smile, trying to stop himself before it spreads out to an actual, normal sort of grin, settling his head back against the fridge. “Yes, well,” he chuckles breathily. “Feelings mutual.”

I grin, kissing his cheek and shifting our hips. “What feeling?”

He quirks a brow. “You know I can’t say it.”

“Well, you can. You’ve just gotta put your hand in my trousers.”

He scoffs, still grinning. “You’re ridiculous, Snow.”

“It’s not me!” I laugh back, “It’s the universe telling you to touch my dick!”

“Fuck the universe.” His hand catches on my chest, starting to drag down in a mind twistingly, unfairly teasing way.

“Bold words for someone complying,” I whisper heavily, tugging him closer as he pushes away my waistband.

His fingertips settle against the exposed bit of skin before starting to sink deeper. “It’s not being complicit,” he purrs back, “if it’s something I want.”

I practically moan, skin tingling as he slowly takes grip of me, and making my knees wobble. “Baz…”

“I love you.”

[atherissquamigera]

Skeletons in her Closet

What had she been doing….? All her thoughts were muddled and her emotions had taken control. All she felt was anger and hatred, those emotions coursing through her as she held her twin blades to the mans throat that was laying on the ground beneath her. Her knees resting on the floor on either side of his chest.

Her expression was a mix of those emotions as she stared at the man on the ground in front of her after having taken a step toward him and he had fallen. The former slave had been leading a better life but being approached by a former ‘client’ and him trying to intimidate her caused her to snap. 

“You don’ get t’ talk t’ me like I’m garbage or a whore y’ can use anymore!”

She had been half fallen since she was a teenager, having held so much hatred in her heart for her fate. Being faced by one of her abusers was causing her not to think straight. “Why did fate curse me t’ be a slave!? While you get t’ get off on peoples pain!? I was fourteen!!” The bitterness she still held in her heart was evident in her voice.

While usually the black rukh werent even visible, with the resurfacing hatred and bitterness they had made themselves known. It made the very air in the vicinity feel heavy and dark. It had been so hard to stop hating her fate, but her scars were painful daily reminders. Being called a whore and filthy slave cracked her usually calm and uncaring demeanor…especially coming from one of the first men who ever used her and pushed her owner at the time to keep her in the sex slave trade.

A commotion had started, but the broken woman didn’t even hear it. Guards called Muu and while normally she would immediately look up at the sound of the captains voice, right now it didn’t reach her any more than any of the other noise around them. While no longer yelling she had been slipping for a while, seeing her former abusers around the palace and being approached and spoken to like she was worth less than him was her breaking point.

Tears of anger and overwhelming hatred welled in her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. Why was fate so cruel? Why did this so called fate decide who suffered and who got to live a carefree and safe life? Why did she had to lose her family and endure the abuse she did? It wasn’t fair!!! She despised that thing called fate that had caused her so much pain. She wanted to make this man pay for all those years of pain.

The commotion was what caught his attention, and the sight before him was like something out of a nightmare.

He ran over, quick as he could, trying not to let his panic get the better of him.

The atmosphere…..the tension was almost a palpable thing.

“Aya!” he called out, stopping far enough away that she wouldn’t lash out “Aya, stop. Don’t do it.”

She couldnt hear him. Her weight was on the blades in her hands, emerald hues focused on the council member still. The fear on the mans face caused her to laugh,even with tears still running down her face. The laugh was a hollow, cold sound; very different from the warmth her laughter usually held. “Not so fun now is it when yer on the receiving end huh? Is it? Is it!!??”

The man was obviously scared for his life…and she found it funny. She held no sympathy for him, and enjoyed terrifying him. The dark energy of the black rukh was getting heavier in the air by the minute. She was slipping. Part of her wanted to make this man suffer. Cursing her fate and not caring what happened next…but the other part of her was desperately crying out for help.

The laughter sent chills down his spine, and immediately he went in to stop her.

He approached from the front, quick to grab her swords and take them from her and grabbing her arms.

“Aya, that’s enough,” his tone was firm “he’s not good enough to be killed by you. He doesn’t deserve it.”

The man below them was terrified, and Muu couldn’t give less of a shit.

“Come on, let’s go.” he gently pulled her off the man, pulling her up into his arms to carry her away.

Seeing Muu approach her was a shock to her system, enough so she didnt fight the weapons being taken from her. But his words and being pulled off the councilman caused that fight to come back.

“No he does deserve it!” Her hands were balled into fists, hitting against his arm. “He deserves t’ suffer! H-He gets t’ do whatever ‘ee wants–he needs t’ pay!” Being picked up, her arms got practically pinned to her chest despite her still trying to get Muu to put her down once they were alone she broke down into tears.

“No one shou’ be forced t’ do those things! No one! Ever! N’ he should pay fer that! Jus’ like all the others!” Shoulders slumped forward and her chest heaving as broken cries left her lips. The young woman still held an insane amount of bitterness in her heart, the distress almost ended up with her having a noble councilman’s blood on her hands.

Muu simply held her close, letting her vent and hit him as much as she wanted.

Now he knew….he knew how bad. Surly not the full extent, but he knew now.

“He will pay, Aya,” he told her “in time, when he can pay in full, he will pay dearly for what he’s done. Him, and everyone else like him.”

“Tha’ time hasnt happened in eight years…I doubt it ever will. They’re nobles…im jus’ some ex whore slave….no one cares wha’ they did….no one ever will care wha’ nobles do to slaves….no one ever will” Ayas whole body hurt. Her throat and lungs ached terribly. Her head throbbed and her eyes stung. She was too tired to keep crying, screaming and hitting his arm to try and get him to let go.

Hiccuping occasionally she leaned into his touch, her forehead pressed again his chest. Aya wrapped her arms around her stomach and sniffled, curling up as she shook and hiccuped. Her words now barely more than a hoarse whisper after all the crying and shouting. “They can jus’ make what they did go away…its not fair….i feel disgustin’ evey day..still feelin’ like their hands on me…and they can jus’ forget…its not fair..”

The woman was limp in his arms, rubbing her eyes with her free hand. She hated thinking about that the disgusting nobles of the countries where she was forced to work grew to be old and even more powerful….they had long, happy lives…they never paid for what they did, and at this point they never would. If people like them didnt exist..her family might have still been alive, but she could never truly know could she?

Muu wanted to apologize, to scream and and every person who’d hurt her and make them suffer.

Yet he knew none of that would help.

So instead he just took her to his room, a place of privacy and safety

“I’ve got you, Aya. You’re going to be okay.”

The solitude was appreciated…away from prying eyes and judgmental whispers. Aya wrapped her arms around Muu’s waist and hid her face against his chest. Letting the steady beat of his heart help to calm her down. “Jus’….dont leave me..please. Don’t leave me...”

The way she clung to him, it was like she was afraid he would vanish if she let go.

Muu simply held her as he sat on the bed, leaning back against the wall so he could hold her closer to his chest and just help her calm down, running a hand up and down her back to soothe her.

She’d try so hard to bury her past, to never think about it, but sometimes the skeletons in your closet come back to haunt you. 

Written out from an RP between myself and @leonisxbellator​

[jaykayseagull]

Cause I Love You Way Too Much - Idol!Jungkook x reader - Married Couple Au (Angst/fluff) pt.1

The sound of the front door opened and closed disturb my long thoughts of a couple of things that has been lingering in my mind for months now. I know Jeongguk is home immediately. He just got home from practicing with the rest of his group member.

Just like always, it's been years since we married and not one thing has change. He loves me deeply just like i do, but maybe...

I love him a little too much, way more than anything.

That's why i decided to make a final decision about what i've been thinking of for months.

I will ask him to divorce me.

This marriage is the most beautiful moment in my life. I couldn't believe that i was his, and he was mine. Everything is fine. But i wish that i see this all was coming before everything started.

This whole time, i've been keeping it all to myself. I didn't tell Jeongguk about it even a bit. I thought i could handle it by myself but, people are just.. Way too right.

Ever since i got married with him, i've been accepting messages and calls from people who hate me, telling me that i'm not good enough for Jeongguk, not pretty enough, only wanting his money and popularity and stuff. It's all hate comments. When i go to somewhere alone, there's always this people who tried to harrass me and I always ended up running back home with a tears flowing on my cheeks.

I was mentally harrassed.

But this goes just fine with me.

I'm starting to used to it.

Jeongguk doesn't know.

He actually tried to asked me a few times if i was fine or if someone bothering me when he's not with me, but being the stubborn i am, a 'no' and 'nothing' is a script that i always used for my acts in front of him.

But this wasn't the reason of my sudden decision.

I think about it. A lot. Jeongguk is someone who i don't expect to ended up with me. He was a heartthrobs of millions female. He has everything that i dont have.

It makes me feel like i'm just a little thing that only can give him my love and soul. I feel like im not giving him enough. He was an angel, and i know he deserve better than this.

This marriage is only keeping him away from his fans. It's a wall between his fans. And i couldn't do that. He worked hard everyday ever since his debut and i came along in his way just to set a wall for him to reach his fans? No i dont want that..

I know i should have think about this before i decided to take a part in his life. But back then i didn't know that my love will go this far to the point i want to erase myself for being a stupid woman, disturbing his way to success and happiness.

I should have walk way the moment i locked eyes with him on the street that day.

I should have say no to his help to share an umbrella because it's raining.

I should have push him away when he tried to kiss me.

I should have deny the statement when said 'i love you'to me.

But then i couldnt help myself.

I love Jeongguk way too much.

"Jagi, are you okay..? "

I was surprised by his sudden stroke on my hair. I didn't realised he was there sitting beside me on our bed already.

"Jeongguk.. You're home.. "

I look at him with my tired eyes. He was tired as well, i can see that.

"Baby, what's wrong? Are you okay? You look a bit pale and tired than usual. Are you not feeling well?" He cupped my cheeks and look into my eyes.

He's always like this, always caring for me and love me unconditionally.

"No, nothing. I'm fine. Just a little bit tired..."

Lie again.

"No i won't play this with you anymore. Tell be baby, what's wrong? You always came up with the same excuse everytime i asked you this. Tell me, please.. I dont want to see you like this.. " Jeongguk start to desperately take my hands in his and get closer to me.

Before he start to question me again tho, i let a tear fall on my left cheek, i cant help but feel sorry for making him worried about me.

He start to panic and cupped my cheeks and apologising without reason. He hugged me tightly and pecking my forehead.

I start to cry harder because i know i have to face him with this conversation now.

A half an hour passed by, and my sobs starting to slow down.

He gave me one last peck on my forehead and said, "Alright, let's just go get you to bed okay? we'll talk about this later. I dont want you to feel forced and stressed out. Just remember that no matter what happens, i'm here for you y/n..." He pecked my lips and smile comfortingly to me. His eyes showed signs of love and adorement.

He is way too good for someone like me.

I already in my pajamas so he said to me that he will take a quick shower and get in bed with me.

He walk to the bathroom and close the door. Not a minute later, i heard the shower turn on and i lay down on the mattress. I closed my eyes and start to rethink my decision again.

He deserves the happiness in this world.

His fans and career.

I didn't realised the tear that slid down again.

I heard the bathroom door opened and closed and i hurriedly sweep the tears off, not wanting him to see me cry again.

I rolled on the other side so i don't have to see him changing into his pajamas.

A minutes later, i feel the bed dipped and a pair of arms holding me against him.

I turn to him and hug him back. He pecked my forehead again and said "goodnight, i love you y/n".

That night something is finally changing. Something odds.

I didn't say the three words back.

[crossroadsimagine]

hi! hope your days going well. i’d like to request a matchup for naruto, bungou, or noragami. i’m bi so anyone’s cool. -i’m really short. -i love cats!! so much!! -i’m very afraid of spiders lol. -my hobbies are piano, reading, and drawing. -i like staring idly at the sky. sunrise, sunset, midnight, whenever, i just love the sky -i never really get angry, unless it’s on someone else’s behalf -i’m a closed book, it takes a lot for me to open up about myself -im baby 1/3🐰

☰ Matched with Kofuku

Kofuku is very bubbly, loving and caring and you pique her interest immediately, she’ll want to get to know you and spend time with you and that can make her come on strong at first, and kind of in a friendship and romantic way. She can be very hands on and touchy right from the start and can lean against you, play with your hair, hug and try to cuddle up to you even before a relationship ignites. 

Thought it really only takes a few days to a week for her to know she wants to be with you and will tell you how she feels and wants you to be with her, she’ll ask you out in a very sincere way and pour her heart out to you which could be a little much at first considering the two of you haven’t known each other for too long but she won’t waste time. 

Once you agree to go out with her, she is very enthusiastic and cuddly towards you about your answer, she won’t be able to hide how happy she is about it. From the start of the relationship she is deeply loyal, considerate and tries her very best to be there for you, help you and make you happy even trying too hard at times and often going out of her way to make you smile or to do something for you. 

She loves to be with you and spend time with you and not even to be constantly doing things together, just being physically near you makes her happy, sitting beside you or just being in the same room. She has to see you and talk to you every day or she really worries about you which can make her come across as a bit clingy and needy at times but it’s only because she does love and care for you so much. 

Adores listening to you talk and she is a very good and attentive listener, she likes to hear about your day or about your childhood or for you to tell her stories about different parts of your life. Simple things like eating meals together or drinking tea and talking about different things makes her very happy, and she will like hearing about your interests and hobbies and will show a sincere interest in them. She loves listening to you play the piano if you’ll play for her and will like to know or see what you are reading or drawing, she tends to compliment you pretty often and for a wide variety of things, how you look, how you draw, how you act, things you’ve said etc. If she thinks it, she’s going to tell you. 

That means she is very open, honest and rather blunt with you but not in a mean way, even if she has to tell you something negative like if she doesn’t like one of your friends she tells you in a gentle way and isn’t harsh about it and will explain her reasons. You are very smart and have a high iq but it doesn’t always show but Kofuku certainly doesn’t come across as a genius either, and it’s not that she’s dumb though she can have her moments of absent mindedness but when she wants to be, she can show a very intelligent side. 

You are a quiet person though you can be loud and rambunctious around certain people and she is bubbly, loud and rambunctious so she can really bring it out in you. She is the God of poverty and without meaning to or trying she can cause bad luck or bad things to happen to everyone around her, and you’re not immune to this so you can have unlucky things happen by being with her, but this usually isn’t constant but things can pop up randomly. 

Once of your favorite things though does happen to be mischief and she is more than willing to be your partner in crime, though because of her unlucky effect on people she can cause some mischief without even meaning to. She is a bit immature and childish and you can be too especially when it comes to being mischievous so she doesn’t mind this about you one bit. You are both very kind and both even tend to be rather selfless when it comes to helping or protecting those you care about; she will do anything she can to keep you safe and with her. 

She can actually be rather insecure and terrified that you could leave her, whether because you’re tired of her bad luck or just because you don’t love her anymore, these thoughts really worry her and she can go to great lengths to make you happy if she feels like you are falling out of love with her. Reassurance that you love her goes a long way and it’s not that she needs to be told constantly that you love her, though she’d love it if you did but if you just occasionally tell her or remind her how much you love her that means a lot to her. 

She’ll tell you daily and often that she loves you and shows you how much she loves you even more, so you really will never feel like she’s not interested in you. You are a closed book and it takes a long time for you to open up about yourself, and don’t worry that’s perfectly fine with her and she won’t even ask you to open up or talk to her about specific things. 

Instead she reminds you that she’s always there for you when you’re ready or need to talk, particularly when you seem upset, sad or depressed, telling you “I’m here for you.” Or “Whenever you’re ready.” She is very soothing and reassuring that it’s okay to feel the way you feel when you are upset/sad or going through tough times, and she’s also very comforting and encouraging that things will be okay and things will get better, that you’re going to be alright. 

She is incredibly up beat and optimistic even when bad things happen around her and she really never gets angry and really you don’t either so fights or arguments are practically nonexistent. 

Over all she is there for you whenever, where ever, any time you need her she will be there for you, helping you, supporting you and cheering you on with anything and everything you do in life, she can be like your own personal cheerleader pushing you to follow your dreams. She is by your side and has your back no matter the circumstances even if the odds seem stacked against you she’s there encouraging you that anything is possible.

☰ Headcanons between the two of you

■ Loves attention and affection and will cuddle and smother you with love when the two of you are alone, often clinging to you, leaning against you, hugging you, hugging your arm, playing with your hair, anything. And will often instigate cuddles when she sees you or knows you aren’t terribly busy with something.

■ Tends to be pretty girly and can like doing girly things with you if you’ll allow it, going and getting your hair done together, pedicures, manicures, going to a spa or hot springs, doing your make up or playing with your hair. Or even doing things like face masks or foot soaks together.

■ Adores animals so she can share your love of cats and has no issues with having pets and can even let things get out of control with too many pets or cats if unrestrained. She likes cute things so she can’t turn away adorable animals.

■ Loves thoughtful and romantic actions and not just if you do something romantic for her but she’ll love doing romantic and thoughtful things for you, but she will really be touched if you do something romantic for her and sweet gestures can really make her melt.

☰ Other Possible Matches

◐ Obito

Is protective, caring and very loyal he will go to extremes to keep you safe from harm, and is quick to tell people off if they are rude or mean to you or he just doesn’t think they are good for you. He can be a bit shy with PDA but really does love being affectionate with you, especially when the two of you are alone. 

He can be a bit flustered with affection especially early in the relationship but does love to cuddle and be close to you, he can be a little insecure about himself and it will take some time to really earn his trust and for him to be able to relax and feel comfortable with you. This also makes him very patient with you in return and won’t pressure you to trust him or open up to him it’s a slow and steady relationship that becomes incredibly strong with time.

◐ Kenji

He is very loving, open and optimistic with you from the very start of the relationship, and not only that but he’s respectful of you and makes sure everyone else treats you with kindness and respect as well. Because of his strength he can come off as intimidating at times even though he’s not trying to, so if someone does disrespect you or criticize you, he can seem very threatening to the person without doing a whole lot. 

He’s comfortable with PDA but doesn’t really push for it or at least not much aside from holding hands with you, but he will always respond positively if you instigate some love and affection towards him. He loves doing simple things with you but will go out and about with you, though he really doesn’t understand how a lot of things work in the world in towns and cities. He likes things like eating together, going for walks or just sitting outside watching the sky and talking.

[holycalum]

vice (c.h.) part 3!!

summary- (y/n) has another #breakdown but like ACTUALLY this time she goes home just read it 

part 1 part 2 part 4

word count- 3.6k+

a/n- im terrible at summaries i figure if ur reading this far you don’t care you just wanna know what happens ya dig? also i appreciate all the love and support for this fic so much?? because i really thought this would flop but im so happy people are enjoying it. vice is literally my baby rn and i’ve put a lot of effort into it, and to see it pay off is grand ok goodbye. “fuck yeah,” i slurred, holding up my red cup in triumph. “midterms are hashtag over.” i slumped into britt, and she groaned, trying to push me off of her.  

“you’re too drunk,” she yelled over the thumping music. “your flights early tomorrow.”

“don’t care,” i smiled, dancing again. but britt’s word cut through my drunk thoughts moments later, and traveled straight to the gut. i might as well have doubled over because of the sinking feeling in my stomach. i had to go home the next day, and i didn’t want to in the slightest. the remix playing was drowned out as i stopped dancing abruptly, and got stuck in my head. the dark cloud that was rarely over my head anymore came crashing back, and i didn’t have calum to distract me. i had pushed the idea of me leaving college a semester early to kick start my life the back of my head, letting myself get lost in my studies for once, and calum. the second one was really the kicker. i pushed my way through the crowd, suddenly feeling very queasy. i stumbled throughout the unfamiliar house. miraculously i found a bathroom, and practically threw myself into it. i locked the door behind me, and fell to the floor. the cool tile soothed my burning skin, and i felt like i was human again. i crawled over the the toilet, head spinning. 

as i gripped the disgusting bowl and willed myself to throw up, i couldn’t help but let a few tears fall. but that was only the calm before the storm, because soon enough the dark cloud above my head stormed onto me. i cried so hard i gagged, and couldn’t catch my breath. my heart felt shriveled up and small and dead.

i had never been the drunk girl to have a complete meltdown, but i couldn’t stop the emotions from shooting out of every pore in my body. i felt like i was one big sad blob, and i physically couldn’t stop myself from getting drenched in the waters from my dark cloud. 

my crisis was interrupted by a knock at the door, i prayed it was a nice drunk girl that would braid my hair and tell me i’m pretty so i’d stop crying. but when i unlocked the door, calum’s eyes met mine and i cried even harder. i leaned against the cabinets, face in my hands, not wanting calum to see me at all, i wanted to disappear. 

it was funny, in the moments i wanted to be alone with my thoughts the most, calum always seemed to show up. 

“no, no, no,” calum’s words came out frantic, as he kneeled down in front of me and pulled my hands away from my face. the look of panic on his face sent my head spinning. 

“what’s wrong, pretty girl?” his nickname pulled at my heart strings and only made the knot in my stomach grown tighter. 

i couldn’t catch my breath enough to get any words out, so i sat there blubbering like a toddler, looking down, only for calum to tilt my head back up. 

“hey,” he cooed, shutting and locking the bathroom door once again, this time not leaving me alone. he sat against the door, and pulled me to his lap. “let’s just calm down and then we can talk, ok?” he said softly into my hair. i nodded against his leather jacket, trying to take deep breaths. even though i hated being so broken in front of calum, i couldn’t help but cling onto him like my life depended on it. the contact between us grounded me. 

every once in a while a sob would break through my breathing, causing calum to tense up and hold me tighter for a second, before going back to rubbing slow circles on my back. 

once i brought myself back down to earth, i pulled away from his chest, the world around me tilted in all directions. “i don’t wanna go home,” i cried, my words making tears well back up in my eyes. calum’s face was full of guilt as he stared into my bloodshot eyes.

“hey,” he shushed me, wiping under my eyes. he’d need a whole box of tissues to dry my cheeks, “it’s ok, just go slow.” 

“i wanna fall in love, cal.” i admitted, not being able to control the thoughts involuntarily pouring out of my mouth. “i want it all-but i cant have it. they took it from me. i don’t wanna go back.” a lump in my throat sprouted from deep within me, threatening to send me into another crying fit. 

i could see his eyes go glassy, “no,” i begged, “don’t cry.”

“m’ sorry,” he chuckled weakly, reaching up to wipe his own eyes. “going soft, sorry, continue.” another sob wracked through my chest at his state. i leaned my forehead against his chest, letting another cry out. 

“i’m hurting everyone around me,” i said sadly, “i don’t wanna hurt you anymore.” it became crystal clear that everyone was only calum. 

“but it’s so worth it, doll.” he whispered sweetly, smoothing the hairs around my ear. “you’re my sunshine, at the same time. what a contradiction you’ve proven to be.” it almost didn’t make sense. 

i settled against his chest, finally feeling a bit calmer. “an’ i know you’re really drunk right now, so i doubt you’ll remember most of this,” he starts, breath ghosting over my neck. “but, i accidentally let you in and i can feel myself falling for you. and it sucks because you’ll never be mine, fully at least, and you’re one of the only people i’ve let in so close to my heart.”

“stop,” i pleaded, “i don’t wanna know,”

“it’s not a bad thing, pretty girl.” he reassured me, “teaching me that it might be worth it, to let someone in, to enjoy someone’s company beyond sex.”

“i wish it didn’t have to be like this.” i mumbled, feeling very tired. 

“let’s get you home,”

i woke up the next day, to my blaring alarm clock. my head pounded as i flailed my hand around to turn off the terrible noise. it was the day of my flight and i couldn’t have felt any worse. eyes almost glued shut because of how puffy they were, traveled to see i was in the same clothes i was wearing the night prior. i felt like i’d been kicked in the face. clearly i had cried the night before. oh, the night before. 

i remembered almost everything, the crying, calum, more crying. it only made my headache worse. i showered to try and make myself feel less gross, but it only washed away the physical layer of grime. the emotional dirtiness would stay forever. 

i shrugged calum’s shirt over my head, it was dark blue, with maine written in bold white letters. it was probably my favorite shirt on him, so he insisted i have it. it was probably a bad idea to be reminded of calum while i went home, but it made me feel happy, and i could’ve used some light in my life. i pulled on a beanie and my long winter jacket, before grabbing my bags and heading towards the door. my roommates were still passed out from the night before, pillows over both of their heads. 

“bye, guys.” i muttered, before swinging the door open. “jesus, calum.” i breathed, clutching my chest, my heart almost stopping at the sight of him. 

“hey, sunshine.” he smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. the nickname launched me into the events of the night before and i willed myself not to break. 

“hi,” i breathed, biting the inside of my lip. “thank you, for last night.” 

“anytime,” he replied, “nice shirt.” this time his eyes sparkled a bit, before his face fell. 

“what’s up?” i questioned, not understanding why he was standing outside my dorm at almost eight in the morning. 

“i wanted to say bye to you before you left,” he rocked back and forth on his heels, hands shoved in his pockets. he looked small, and tucked into himself, “feels like i’m losing you.” he mumbled the last part, almost low enough for me to miss it completely.

“please don’t say that,” i shut my eyes, forcing the tears to stay inside of me. he shrugged weakly. 

“i guess this is goodbye,” he smiled at me, brown eyes shining. my stomach sank and i reached towards him and engulfed him in the biggest hug i could muster. i wanted to keep him with me forever. 

“promise me you’ll see me when i get back,” i begged him, clutching onto him for dear life. his tight grasp around my waist indicated he was doing the same.  

“i promise,” his words were muffled by my shoulders, where his perfect face was squished. he pulled away, painfully, almost making me whine at the loss of contact. “goodbye, (y/n).”

“bye, calum.” i breathed, standing on my toes to press a gentle kiss to his cheek. “i’ll see you when i get back-when i get home.” it was honest, being with calum felt more like a home than my own childhood house did. 

“i’ll see you then,” he gulped, and he watched me walk away. the entire trip back to my hometown, i spent on the verge of tears and a nervous breakdown.

[11:34 am] me: i can’t do this 

[11:35 am] calum: cant do what sunshine?

[11:35 am] me: my plane just landed. 

[11:36 am] calum: you can get thru this pretty girl

[11:36 am] me: you have way too much faith in me

[11:38 am] calum: (:

calum’s lightheartedness made me feel a bit better as i gathered my luggage painfully quick. near the baggage claim, my parents were waiting eagerly for me.  

“(y/n)!” my mom exclaimed, in a much different tone than she’d had the last time we spoke. it almost made me throw up at how sweet she was acting when the last time she made an effort to talk to me was to try and get me to drop out of school. 

“hey guys,” i plastered on a fake smile, bringing both of my parents in for a hug. “how are you?”

“wonderful, now that you’re back!” my dad said, rubbing my shoulder. “how about we head back to the house and have some lunch, i’m sure you’re starving.”

“i am!” i lied, i wasn’t. not in the slightest, my stomach was twisted and the idea of food made me want to yakk on the spot. my appetite had disappeared the second i turned around to see calum’s pained expression as i walked away. the drive home was tense, calling for awkward small talk and bad jokes. 

when we walked in the front door, i was greeted by a very happy david. my mouth fell open as i was halfway through kicking off my shoes. i felt like my body had been frozen solid. 

“i thought you didn’t get back for another day,” i deadpanned, not being able to hide my emotions. the whole trip was already emotionally heavy, and seeing david so soon only added another layer overbearing feelings. 

“i wanted to surprise you!” david pulled me in for a lingering hug, he was too keen on surprises for my liking. i hugged him back, and our bodies didn’t mold together like calum and i’s did. i felt no fire, i felt no excitement, i felt nothing except for a heavy emptiness settling in my chest. 

my little sister, maya, bounded down the entryway. “(y/n)!” she yelled, and i ripped myself away from david to embrace her. 

“hey, lil’ one.” i said, smiling for real. i pulled away, looking at her. “not so little anymore,” she was taller than i was now, towering over me by a few inches. 

“how’s junior year?”

“rough,” she rolled her eyes, “how’s college.”

“great.” i smiled widely, catching david’s eye, “i love it, you know that.” it was the in small victories. 

“stressful, though!” david cut in,

“a good kind of stress,” i snapped back, turning my eyes back to maya slowly, boxing david out of the conversation. “i’ve met a lot of great people.”

“who’s shirt is that?” she asked suddenly, gripping the dark blue fabric. her eyebrows furrowed together at the sight of the unfamiliar shirt. 

“just a friend’s,” i smiled, my mouth doing dry. maya wiggled her eyebrows at me, and i hit her arm. i wasn’t really lying, calum and i weren’t together, so that left us as friends, although friends weren’t necessarily supposed to act like we did. 

the air that hung around us was dense and suffocating, so i saw myself to the kitchen, where an array of food was laid out in front of my parents, and david’s.  

“hey honey,” david’s mom smiled at me, pulling me in for a hung. she kept an arm wound around my waist as david’s dad caught my attention. 

“how ya’ feelin, kid?” he asked, grinning widely. 

i gave him a gentle smile back, “i’m great,” i breathed, trying to grip onto the last of my sanity that would make my statement at least a little true. we spent the eve of christmas eve making small conversation, settling into the way things had always been, and will always be. 

i ended up sprawled out on my little sisters bed, late that night, face down. everyone had left, and i could finally feel my shoulders relax. 

“so...” maya sat next to me, causing me to roll onto my side. “you seeing anyone?” she mused, poking my shoulder. 

i sighed, “you know i shouldn’t.” i put simply, trying the avoid the thought and conversation. 

“when has that stopped you?” she challenged, “i know you don’t really love david,” she added quietly, looking at me with caring eyes. 

“even if i was...” i started, “it can’t be a good idea, it’ll only hurt more people in the end.”

maya frowned, “you deserve to be happy, (y/n).”

“i know,” i pulled my lips into a straight line, “i can make it work, i still have you.”

“you won’t be fully happy,” she fretted, her tone more upset than it was before. 

“maybe no ones ever fully happy,” i shrugged, “maybe i’ll just be a little less happy, i’ll survive.”

maya chewed on the inside of her cheek for a moment, “do you think they’ll make me marry someone i don’t like too?” i sat up, and tucked a piece of her hair behind her hair. she seemed like a little girl again, and it broke my heart. 

“you were always more stubborn than i was,” i whispered, smoothing her hair down, “they can’t hold you down, lil’ one.” she smiled, “goodnight, maya.” the topic became too much to stomach. 

“night, (y/n).” i made my way out of maya’s room, padding down to my old bedroom. it was almost exactly the same, just a bit staler, from the lack of movement. the bed was freshly made, and i climbed into it, feeling drained from the day.

i woke up christmas eve morning, and fell into the bustling nature of the day ahead. i was helping cook and clean and prepare for everyone to come over. that night we’d have cousins and david’s family and david’s cousins over, and we’d all have one big painful night. 

when i was younger, christmas eve couldn’t come quick enough, and maya and i would spend the whole day waiting for the evening. but, as an adult, the festivities proved to be more annoying than joyful and the night rolled around too quick. my late afternoon nap was interrupted by my mother shaking me awake, informing me of the arrival of our relatives. 

i sleepily greeted everyone as they got to the house, stopping for a long conversation with my grandfather. i had never been more grateful for his ability to digress into the longest conversations ever, when i saw david and his family walk through the door. i focused on my grandfather, listening to whatever he was speaking about.

“that’s really interesting,” i said, “tell me more.” i practically begged, and my grandpa almost passed out at the excitement of someone wanting to listen to him. 

“hey, (y/n).” david piped up, his blonde hair was littered with snow flakes from being outside. 

“one second, david. my grandpas just telling me a story-“ i was cut off,

“that’s fine, sweetheart.” my grandpa said, his smile fading a bit. “go on.” i gave him a sad grin, and hugged him briefly before david pulled me towards the living room. 

“i was having a conversation,” i crossed my arms in front of david, pushing him out. 

he rolled his eyes, “i know you hate those conversations,” 

“that one was really immersing me!” i shot back, stomping my foot. he gripped my forearm, pulling me closer, “don’t throw a fit,” he grumbled, running a hand through his hair. 

“whatever,” i brushed it off, knowing i wouldn’t get my way. “what’s up?” “i just wanted to talk to you,” he answered, “i hadn’t seen you since i visited you and we hardly spoke yesterday.”

“m’ just tired,” i rubbed my eyes for effect, 

“we’ve barely spoken on the phone either,” he sneered, his face almost as flushed as his pink shirt. 

“two way street, david.” i said, my face straight and unmoving. 

“you know i love you, (y/n).” david sighed, reaching out for my hand. it was cold and uninviting, unlike calum’s warm embrace. “i just get busy, and distracted. i could use something to pull me out of it.”

“i get busy too,” i stated, my hand stiff in his, and i wondered if this was his idea of love. 

“with that major...” he muttered under his breath, and i almost didn’t hear him. “i just want us to be on good terms.”

“we are.” as good as we could get, it wasn’t saying much, but it was something. he smiled. 

“good.” and then i walked away, excusing myself to the restroom. i stood in front of the mirror, hands gripping the sink so hard my knuckles went white. i let myself breath for a second, feeling i’d lose control if i didn’t. i pulled my phone out quickly, typing a text to calum. 

[7:27 pm] me: merry christmas eve

[7:30 pm] calum: merry christmas to you, pretty girl

[7:30 pm] calum: how are you?

[7:31 pm] me: surviving 

“(y/n)?” a knock cut through my trance and i jumped, going to open the door. 

“hi,” i caught my breath, looking at my mom. 

“dinners ready,” she stated, “you alright?”

“yes.” i nodded, following her to the dining room. david took a seat next to me, uncomfortably gripping my thigh throughout the night. his touch wasn’t reassuring or nice, it was repulsive and empty. 

after dinner, we all sat in the living room, gathered around the tree, giving our cousins gifts and opening them early. it was a family tradition to open gifts from extended family christmas eve, and david’s family had intertwined with ours, making it like a huge pre-christmas. once all the little cousins finished opening toys and sharing with one another we all started to fall into our own conversations. 

“i actually have one more gift,” david’s voice bellowed, it was loud and dripping with confidence. 

oh no. 

“it’s for (y/n),” he said, shifting his weight to one of his knees. 

oh no. 

“(y/n),” he started, grabbing both of my hands and the attention of everyone around us. i felt maya’s eyes shoot to mine, wide and worried. i felt sick to my stomach, “i love you, you know that.” my whole body was lit aflame and not in any desirable way, i felt too hot and crowded and my tongue felt like heavy sandpaper in my mouth. 

i couldn’t do anything but sit there, mouth hung open, heart pumping wildly. i watched his mouth move but i didn’t hear any noise come out, my ears rung loudly.

“will you marry me?” i didn’t answer, i couldn’t answer. 

“of course she will!” my mother shrilled loudly, clutching her chest. 

my eyes were dull with loss, the sharp edges of my memories with calum slicing at my heart as he slid the ring on my finger. i felt like i didn’t have myself anymore, or even know who i was. i didn’t know. i didn’t care. 

david pulled me in for a hug, as our family clapped loudly around us. it was all real and i couldn’t stop it. 

i looked calm, up until i finally shut my bedroom door behind me. all at once my tears flowed out, the dark cloud above my head had once again stormed on me, leaving me soaked to the core. i dragged myself to my bed, not bothering to change out of the clothes i’d wore that night. i felt hopeless as sobs ran through my body, shaking every part of me. my room was miserable and cold, and the only sound piercing the silence was my occasional cries i couldn’t keep quiet. 

i cried for me, i cried for my future kids, i cried for calum.

calum

. i wanted to tell him, i wanted to hear his voice and i wanted him to tell me it was going to be ok, but it wasn’t and not even he could change that. but i longed to feel him, and the brightness he elicited by only giving me a look. my heart ached as i fell asleep, my future dragging me closer and closer.

a/n: ok drama lmk what ya think even if its me being stupid and spelling something wrong but feedback is appreciated! thank u for reading!! part 4 should be up tomorrow or in the next couple of days. ALSO im gonna fosho gonna write more after this is done so if you have an requests pls message me i would love 2 write what yall want ok goodbye love u 

tags: (lmk if u wanna be added for part 4/any other shit i write) @rexorangecouny

[starrymarktuan]

First Place

» Pairing: Im Jaebum x Reader

» Genre: Angst + Fluff

» Word Count: 3,990

» Description: Jaebum is the varsity team captain, and to say that his plate is full would be an understatement. But you’re putting your foot down. If he can’t make time for your relationship, then how can you have one? 

» Part of the Varsity Jacket Series

The group of jock-gods was lingering near the refreshments table, distributing red solo cups and laughing at an inside joke. Once everyone was properly armed with alcohol, they dispersed. 

The eldest, Mark Tuan, went with Park Jinyoung to play beer bong, downing their mixed drinks and ramping up for a little friendly competition. BamBam and Kim Yugyeom walked deeper into the living room and stole the karaoke mics from unsuspecting partiers, beginning to sing randomly and at the top of their lungs. Choi Youngjae wandered into the kitchen where his crush was munching on stale potato chips and talking animatedly with a friend. And Jackson Wang wandered back out the front door, where he’d seen his latest fuck buddy hanging about. 

But Jaebum, he headed for the backyard. He knew that’s where you preferred to hang out at these kinds of parties - fresh air and a drink. Or something like that. 

The cool, night air hit Jaebum’s face in a brisk slap, his cheeks pinking at the sensation almost instantly. You were standing on the porch, leaning over the railing. The dress you wore was low cut in the back, and the curve as you leaned against the railing was enticing. He’d been so busy lately that he felt as if he hadn’t seen you in days. Maybe he hadn’t. It was hard to keep track.

Jaebum took a step forward to greet you but stopped short when he saw a figure beside you. He clenched his fists inside the pockets of his varsity jacket, recognizing the person instantly. 

“Hey,” Jaebum said smoothly, slipping his varsity jacket from his shoulders and onto yours in a quick, obvious motion. You eyed him suspiciously, uncomfortable under the weight of the jacket and its symbolism. JB leaned down to kiss your cheek before his gaze slid up to Hyunwoo, who was sipping his drink awkwardly. Jaebum noticed his change in demeanor at his approach.

“JB,” Hyunwoo said. He focused his attention back on you and added, “I’ll catch you later?”

Jaebum was ready for your definitive no, but instead, you said, “Of course. Are we still down for lunch tomorrow?”

“Of course!” Hyunwoo smiled, pushing off the railing and heading inside.

Jaebum distanced himself from you, “What was that?”

“What is this?” you said, motioning to the jacket that was resting on your shoulders.

“You’re the captain of the varsity basketball team’s girlfriend! You’re supposed to wear the jacket! You’re supposed to want to!”

“I’m not your property, Jaebum!” you seethed, tearing the jacket off of your shoulders and throwing it on the ground. He gasped, offended by your actions. He stooped to scoop up the article, as you continued: “You can’t mark me, or claim me. I know everyone on campus thinks this thing means something, but all I see is a jacket!” You spat the last word with venomous malice. You’d been with Jaebum for almost two years, and in the time you’d been together that jacket had never done you or your relationship any favors.

Jaebum opened his mouth to speak, but you were far from done: “And if I’m hanging out with Hyunwoo then it’s only because my boyfriend is always busy!” You brushed past him brusquely, purposefully hitting his shoulder with your own on the way.

Jaebum watched you disappear into the party, the dusty jacket still in his hands. He cursed under his breath, frustrated.

“What’s up Cap?” Yugyeom said, appearing in the doorway almost as soon as you’d disappeared. There was a red solo cup pressed to his lips. He took a drink and smiled goofily at his team captain.

“She just...you know, it’s like...I mean...and she’s out here with...I just…” Jaebum was growling half-sentences, as was his tendency when frustrated and angry. Yugyeom’s eyes widened and he held his hands up in defense.

“Woah, Cap, what?”

Jaebum took a deep breath and tried to form full sentences, “Y/N is hanging out with Hyunwoo because I’m too busy.”

“You are a pretty busy guy, Cap.” 

“Well yeah, but...” 

Yugyeom shrugged and took another drink, “I’m just saying - she has a point.” Yugyeom turned back to the party but quickly rethought, turning around and adding, “Also, I’m drunk. So you can’t hold what I just said against me.” 

Jaebum shook his head and turned away from him. He nodded his head and resolved to slow down, to ease his schedule, give himself time to actually date you.

Let’s just say...that’s not exactly what happened. Before he’d even woken up the next day his phone blew up with messages, all containing the same image of Youngjae, face down and naked in the grass. Jackson showed up late to practice and when he finally did arrive he broke his ankle. And BamBam ended up in a fistfight the day after that. Plus Jinyoung would not stop texting him about this girl he’d met.

So, to tally it all up: one humiliated teammate, one who couldn’t play, one with a black eye, and a lovesick one. All of this left little time for you.

And you had almost thought he’d change. Almost.

Sitting in the library five days later, relative radio silence from JB and the big game coming up, you liked to think that these kinds of little fights and sudden silences were unusual. But you’d be lying to yourself.

The beginning had been...great. Really great. He didn’t have basketball, it was the summer so school wasn’t a problem and you both just fit. He was this charming, funny guy who cared about you and focused on you and paid attention.

Now it was nearly two years later and… And what? What was there to say? You loved him. Or the memory of him. You were unsure which was truer. And there were still good times - soft caresses on early mornings, sweet gestures of commitment in exchanges of coffee and mints, a smile here and a kiss there. But you didn’t go out, you didn’t hang out. Your time together had dwindled between the time dedicated to school and to work and to basketball.

You didn’t know if this could be fixed.

“Wathchya’ thinkin’?” Hyunwoo slid into the chair across from you with a newfound bag of pretzels in his hand. He opened them quickly and began eating them doubly so.

“Jaebum.”

“Yeah?” There was a little crinkle between Hyunwoo’s eyebrows when he looked up at you. You knew things were platonic between you both. He had something going with a guy from his dance team. But he made a great listener and had an excellent shoulder to cry on. Somehow, he’d become your best friend.

And Jaebum didn’t even know that. Jaebum didn’t know a lot of things.

Hyunwoo, ever the awkward dork, changed the subject. “You going to the pep rally?”

“Yeah,” you sighed, “I’m his girlfriend, right? I should go support him.”

“Unless you don’t want to.”

“Hmm?” you said, looking up from the equation you’d been scribbling through on your notepad. You’d only vaguely heard the words and so Hyunwoo repeated them.

“You don’t have to go to the game if you don’t want to.”

Your eyebrows raised in surprise. The idea had never occurred to you. It had become a habit to keep tabs on JB’s schedule and show up at his events. He always threw you a smile and a wave, running up to kiss you after a big win, etc. But did you actually enjoy the games? Well...you’d never really thought about it. And really, if he wasn’t being much of a boyfriend...why should you show up to his pep rallies and games and things?

“You, Hyunwoo, are a genius.” You tapped your temple as if to prove your point.

He smiled and chuckled, “So I’ve been told.”

So the pep rally came and went. You holed up in your room with Chinese food and your homework, steadfastly determined not to go to the pep rally. Hyunwoo, on the other hand, was a traitor.

“Jooheon wanted to go,” he whined, over the phone the next morning. You tsked and shook your head, smiling nonetheless.

“And I thought you were my friend,” you joked. Hyunwoo made a disgruntled sound on the other end and you chuckled, cutting short suddenly when you spotted Jaebum coming towards you. “I have to go.”

“There you are!” Jaebum said, stopping in front of you. You stood up from the bench and crossed your arms.

“Here I am.”

“Where were you last night?”

“Home. I had homework.”

“But I had a pep rally!”

“Did you invite me to the pep rally?” You raised an eyebrow.

Jaebum paused. He thought back to the past week. He’d been so busy. Had he...actually invited you? He opened his mouth to respond but could think of nothing to say.

“See, that’s the thing, Jae, you’re so busy that you forget about me. And I’m supposed to follow you around like an obedient puppy?” You scoffed and picked up your bag from the bench. “I’m late for class.” You sidestepped him and moved to walk away.

Jaebum turned quickly, a hand wrapping around your arm and spinning you back around. He looked lost and confused like he’d just woken up and found himself somewhere entirely different than when he’d fallen asleep. “What’s changed?”

You sighed. “I don’t know, Jaebum. Maybe I’m just tired of having to carry this relationship all by myself.” He looked crestfallen and you could tell that he was anticipating a breakup. But, despite all of this, that wasn’t what you wanted. When you looked at him you still saw him. You knew who he was without crazy schedules and obligations. You wanted to be with him. “Look,” you conceded, “I know you’re busy and you have a lot on your plate. But...something has to give. And, if we keep going this way, it’s going to be us.”

Watching you walk away, Jaebum felt as if he’d been hit by a high-speed train. There was a tightness in his chest and he felt winded. And exhausted. He collapsed onto the bench you’d been sitting on roughly, his knees giving way beneath him. But as he sat down, he felt a lump beneath his thigh. When he moved over to investigate he found you’d left your phone there. On the screen, there was a text.

Hyunwoo

10:07 AM: I really am sorry! I’ll make it up to you!

Jaebum was going to have to talk to this guy.

“Yugyeom,” Jaebum growled into his cell phone a few minutes later, “tell me.”

“You’re not going to beat him up are you?” Jaebum's fists clenched at the youngest teammates hesitation. “He’s a really nice guy, Cap.”

“Just tell me when and where your dance team’s practice gets out Yugyeom.” He sensed the younger one’s further hesitation, and so pulled out his very last resort, “Or I’ll have you benched for the next game.”

“But I’m–”

“Try me, Yugyeom.”

“We have a practice tonight at the rec center,” Yugyeom sighed, “We finish at ten.”

“Thanks.” And the line went dead.

Jaebum was waiting for Hyunwoo outside the rec center, fuming on a bench. He was tapping his foot to let out the explosive energy he felt in his chest. Jaebum felt like he was trying to swim upstream. It was as if he were stuck in a hopeless, destined-to-fail situation.

You have a lot on your plate. But something has to give. And it could be us. He couldn’t get the words out of his head. He was busy, he knew that. But…

But what? He wanted to scream, to fight, to stamp his feet and throw a tantrum. He didn’t want to lose you! But what was he supposed to do? He was the captain of the varsity basketball team, he had a full load of classes and a job. Something has to give.

But why did it have to be this thing?

Yugyeom had warned Hyunwoo that Jaebum would be waiting for him. He saw where JB was coming from but...Hyunwoo was a nice guy. And there was no way he was sleeping with Y/N - not when he was so happy with Jooheon. He didn’t deserve to get the crap beat out of him because Jaebum was tense and frustrated.

Besides, Yugyeom thought, Hyunwoo could probably take him - and then where would he be?

The three of them, Yugyeom, Hyunwoo, and Jooheon, stopped in front of Jaebum on his bench. He didn’t seem to notice their arrival, he was so consumed in his thoughts. Yugyeom coughed. “Cap?”

“Huh?” Jaebum said, pulled from his inner monologue. He realized who was in front of him and stood up quickly, trying to puff his chest out and seem intimidating. “We need to talk!”

Hyunwoo simply raised an eyebrow, not intimidated in the least. “So talk.”

All of the paths that Jaebum had envisioned taking in this conversation evaporated like smoke. He slumped back onto the bench and ran a hand through his hair. He sighed deeply, “What’s going on with her?”

Hyunwoo sighed, too. He’d never been a big fan of Jaebum, he always thought that you deserved someone with more time and attention to give. Sometimes Hyunwoo wondered if he even cared about you at all, or were you just a trophy girlfriend for the captain of the team?

But seeing Jaebum now, pathetic and frustrated, waiting on a bench at ten-fifteen when he definitely had homework or something to be doing… Hyunwoo stopped doubting. He turned to the other two and said he’d catch up with them, he needed a minute with Jaebum. They left quietly, chatting about dance rehearsal, etc.

Hyunwoo sat down next to Jaebum on the bench and immediately said, “I’m not sleeping with her.”

“No?” Jaebum said, his voice still small and defeated. Hyunwoo chuckled.

“No. I’m gay.”

“No shit?” Jaebum said, looking up, surprised. Hyunwoo laughed again and pointed at Jooheon’s back proudly.

“That’s my boyfriend,” he grinned.

“No shit,” Jaebum chuckled, feeling stupid and paranoid, “No wonder she’s mad.”

“Yeah,” Hyunwoo said, sighing, “She loves you. A lot. And she wants to be with you, she doesn’t want to end it. But you have to give her a reason to stay. You have to show her that you’ll make time for her.” Jaebum looked up at him with wide eyes, his heart pounding in his chest as the truth he’d been suspecting was finally revealed aloud. “So far your relationship has been brushed off, it’s always last on your list of priorities. You have to show her that it’s going to come first sometimes.”

Hyunwoo patted Jaebum’s knee comfortingly before bounding to his feet and running to meet up with Jooheon. Jaebum watched them wrap their arms around each other, Hyunwoo kissing the other man’s forehead and smiling. Jaebum saw everything he wanted for you and him in that moment.

“We have to come first sometimes,” he whispered to himself, the gears beginning to turn in his head. He was the captain of a leading basketball team. He could do first place.

You woke up the morning of the game feeling...despondent. You’d lost your phone the day you’d talked to Jaebum, but it had reappeared in your backpack last night. Hyunwoo thought you were making it all up. 

But even worse, you hadn’t heard from Jaebum since your talk a few days earlier. You checked your messages again, flopping over in bed gracefully to find your phone. Nothing.

You rolled back over, staring at your ceiling seriously. You didn’t regret what you’d said to him. It was a long overdue conversation. But you had expected it to be more of a conversation. He really hadn’t said anything at all.

Y/N

9:53 AM: Still nothing…

9:53 AM: I guess that’s that

Hyunwoo

9:55 AM: I wouldn’t be so sure…

You were typing back a confused response – what’s that supposed to mean? – when there was knock at your door. You were frozen in bed when a familiar voice called out: “Hey, it’s me. Can I come in?”

“Jaebum?” you gasped, leaping out of bed to open the door. “What are you doing here?” You threw your legs over the side of your bed and ran to the door. You threw it open and repeated yourself, “What are you doing here?”

Jaebum grinned a beautiful, gummy smile and leaned down to press his lips to your cheek. He slid past you and into the room. You stood amazed, pausing for a moment before closing the door to gather your thoughts. What was he doing here? He had a game today, he’d usually spend the morning before getting ready and practicing so...what was he doing here?

Jaebum seemed to see the question in your face. He grinned at your confusion, a new kind of elation filled his chest as he started to actively prioritize your relationship. He was excited.

“I brought you breakfast,” he waved the white paper bag that was in his right hand, “and coffee.” He lifted his left hand to reveal a coffee cup. His gummy smile reappeared, “I wanted to ask you if you would go out to lunch with me, and then maybe...come to my game tonight?”

You smiled hugely, tucking your hair behind your ear and pretending to think, “Oh, tonight? Hmm...I’m not sure.”

Jaebum narrowed his eyes playfully, trying to hide a smile, “Oh, really?”

You smiled again, “But you did bring me coffee so I guess I can move some things around.” You slipped the coffee from his hand and sipped it carefully.

“Oh, well, I appreciate that,” he said, leaning in and pressing his lips to yours, tasting the coffee that still lingered there. He pulled away from you and handed you the muffin. “Okay!” he said, clapping as he did so, “Enjoy breakfast and I’ll see you at twelve thirty.” He pecked your lips again and slipped back out the door quietly.

You giggled behind your coffee, peeking inside the bag and seeing a giant muffin. You placed the cup gently on your desk before leaping into the air and jumping around excitedly. You landed on your bed and scooped your phone.

Y/N

10:12 AM: Omg

10:12 AM: He brought me breakfast and asked me to come to his game

Hyunwoo

10:13 AM: JB man...comin’ in clutch

Jaebum was back at your door at twelve exactly with a polite tapping on your door. He carried a bouquet of flowers and offered them to you when you opened the door. He complimented your dress and your hair, insisted you loop your arm through his as you walked and took you to a nice (affordable) restaurant for lunch.

“See you tonight, beautiful,” he whispered charmingly, pecking your cheek and glancing at his watch. “Shit! I’m late!” He ran out quickly yelling, “Love you! See you tonight!”

He was being the perfect boyfriend. You were so elated by the whole experience that you were still grinning when Hyunwoo and Jooheon stopped by to pick you up.

“Ready?” Hyunwoo asked.

“Yeah,” you said dreamily. For once, you were absolutely thrilled to go to a basketball game. You’d forgotten how hot Jaebum was in basketball shorts.

Okay, you hadn’t forgotten. You just hadn’t appreciated it in a while.

Jooheon did his infamous, and hilarious, baby voice and sang, “Jaebum and Y/N sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!”

“Shut up,” you said, still smiling. Hyunwoo wrapped his arm around your shoulders and pulled you into a hug. He kissed your hair affectionately.

“I’m happy for you,” he murmured.

You smiled back, “Me too. I just...I hope it lasts.”

“It should,” Jooheon said absently, having pulled out his wallet to examine its contents, “He did wait until the end of our dance class to talk to Hyun.”

Your gaze snapped up to Hyunwoo, who was now blushing furiously with a small smile on his face. You slapped his chest playfully. “You didn’t tell me that!” Hyunwoo shrugged and patted your shoulder before he removed it and instead held hands with Jooheon.

The game was...not worth mentioning. It was not the best or the worst game the team had ever played. They won, which made the experience better. But it was an easy win and was thus relatively boring. Jooheon and Hyunwoo spent a great deal of time on their phones, losing interest almost as soon as the ball flew into the air.

You, on the other hand, never took your eyes away from the game. You watched Jaebum almost obsessively, somehow proud and excited to be dating him again. It was like magic, the change that you’d both undergone.

You waited outside the arena for him, in the spot you’d agreed upon. It was late now, the cold air chilling your skin. You rubbed your hands against your arms and shivered subtly, your teeth on edge.

“Do you want us to wait with you?” Hyunwoo said.

“No, no,” you said, shaking your head, “you two must have plans. Go, be free!” They chuckled at your dramatic salutation and disappeared into campus. You clutched your phone tightly in your hand and glanced around your surroundings desperately.

Suddenly, the warm material of a varsity jacket dropped on your shoulders, smelling like Jaebum. You grinned hugely and held the material closer to your body. You turned and whispered, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He leaned down to kiss you, his hair still damp from the shower he’d rushed through. You brought your hands to his hair and felt it quickly.

“You’re going to get a cold!” you scolded.

“Relax,” he smiled. His hand found yours and you strolled together towards your dorm. You tried to hurry him along, seriously concerned about his health but he kept you walking slower. “I’ll be fine.”

There was a pleasant silence as you walked, your hand warmed by his embrace. You felt sure again, like you had when you’d first started going out. This was the relationship you remembered, the one you’d been fighting to get back.

“Hey,” he said softly, as if not to disturb the still air around you, “Can I say something?”

“Of course.”

“I just...I’m sorry.” He paused and collected his thoughts, trying to choose his words carefully. He’d been thinking over this speech all afternoon, even partly during the game (which ended up being, basically, a snooze-fest). “I know that I put our relationship aside for a really long time. It’s just that...I loved you and I knew you loved me, so I convinced myself that we’d be strong enough to get through this. Strong enough to be put aside. But I realized...no matter how strong a relationship, sometimes it has to come first.”

You nodded your agreement. He stopped and turned to you, watching your gaze for a moment. Seemingly finding what he wanted there, he leaned forward and reached into the pocket of his jacket that you were still wearing. From it, he withdrew a small box. You opened your mouth to object, but he beat you to the punch.

“This is not the ring you think it is,” he said hastily, smiling because he could all but read your thoughts, “It’s just...this was really important for me - figuring out how much you mean to me. I wanted something to commemorate it.” He opened the box and inside was a small gold band, dainty and simple. Not at all an engagement ring. A promise ring of sorts. He took it out of the box and revealed the engraving on the inside: first place.

“First place?”

“So you’ll know that this relationship, you and me, we come first.”

“Jaebum,” you cooed, “That’s so cheesy!” You took the ring as he gave it to you, slipping it onto your pointer finger easily. You hugged him tightly and he wrapped his arms around you.

“I know,” he whispered, kissing your forehead, “But I mean it.”

a/n: ahhhh i like this one so much - so angsty and then so cute~