#and of course we might all die again next week

[raccoonfallsharder]

okok came up with something:

do you think that when/if MCU rocket hugs someone he gets a little nervous/scared as it reminds him of Lylla and how she died?

nonnie you sent this literally two weeks ago. i’m so sorry my bandwidth has been consumed by other shit, but i am super-grateful for this ask, and i hope you are having the loveliest of lovely days.

the short answer is: i think that rocket’s reaction to touch (and therefore hugs) is ALWAYS complicated.

but when have i ever settled for the short answer?

look. the first touch rocket remembers? it caused pure, splintering, white-hot pain. agony, in every muscle and bone. then he was tossed into a cage — taught that his body was not worth respecting and that his comfort would not be cared for, from the very first moments of his sentient consciousness.

and yet. that lesson was followed so closely by a kindness: lylla’s gentle, healing touch to his wounded brow.

i think about the high evolutionary, gripping rocket’s head like it was a geode he wanted to crack open. the veneer of his tenderness, layered thin and dangerous over a threat. i think of the flicker of recognition and wariness we see in young rocket’s eyes. while i suspect most actual surgeries were performed by the recorders, i am certain rocket has been hurt by these hands before: watched them dial up the voltage on an electric shock, perhaps. felt them scruff him and drag him back to his cage when he wasn’t performing up to expectations: too many extra -esses and -istics on his words, maybe. i think rocket craved the approval of his sire right up until those final few moments on halfworld, and a kind-seeming stroke to the crown of his head had meant the world to him.

and i think that first hug meant even more. he’d snuggled with floor in their shared cage but lylla is his hero: the first one to show him a kind touch, the one who understands him best. and i think he felt her death when she was shot in his arms.

i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again: so much of a raccoon’s brain is focused on processing tactile data. approximately two-thirds of the sensory perception area in their cerebral vortexes are dedicated to interpreting touch. by comparison — and wildly oversimplified — the average human brain relies primarily on sight, which only makes up about a third to a little over half of our sensory input. hearing is next, and finally, taste/smell/touch combined makes up only a tenth of our typical sensory perception. so all of rocket’s contradicting, conflicting experiences with touch are magnified — probably beyond the scope of our imaginations.

which makes hugs complicated.

he’s so touchstarved. he wants all the hugs. he doesn’t trust or like many people enough to want to want to hug them, though — at least not before groot, and that took some time. thank god the big guy’s persistent. and yeah, sure, there’s some ptsd — some painful flashbacks, some intrusive memories the first few times he lets pete hug him, or gamora, or drax. (not mantis, though. not yet. a hug from an empath is far too dangerous.)

but more than fearing an immediate replay of his first hug or a bright painful splash of nerves when he finally embraces someone — awkwardly, with a half-hearted pat-on-the-back — i think rocket is longterm-superstitious. he’d deny it, of course. but deep down, i’m afraid our poor guy believes his touch is poison — especially after groot senior dies.

sooner or later, the people who rocket attaches himself to — they all die. he is the common denominator.

i have a lil headcanon that on xandar, after the battle with ronan and groot’s sacrifice, drax’s gentle touch to rocket’s forehead reminds him of that first touch from lylla. i think that might be terrifying for rocket. i think that’s why he tries so hard to fuck everyone over on sovereign. he wants them to stay, and he wants them to leave. he wants to push them away — for their own safety, and for his. not consciously, of course — that guy’s a mess — but he’s got this uncontrollable impulse to sabotage any real chance at any real relationship that he’s got.

and then there’s the snap.

i don’t think the average person really notices rocket’s complicated relationship with touch and hugs — he hides it well under the mask of not bein’ a touchy guy and not bein’ a frickin’ sap. but it’s afterward — after the snap, when all his friends are safely returned — that we briefly see his fear, before he manages to cover it up again.

even his friends had forgotten, perhaps — just how reticent he’d used to be, how unwilling to engage in any sort of physical affection. groot probably doesn’t even remember that time in his father’s life at all, because rocket would have pushed himself to ignore it so he could better take care of his young son. and over the course of the guardians’ shared time together, rocket would have gotten used to the occasional backslap or headpat or hug, in a sort of exposure-therapy-way. craved them, always. feared them, still. but also, been sort of inoculated against the superstitious instinctive terror.

there are no booster shots over the course of the snap though — only a seeming confirmation of his worst fears.

i suspect there’s this heartbreaking moment off-screen, sometime in the aftermath of his friends’ return. it’s probably with pete. one night, late on the flight deck: just rocket and pete and nebula, staying awake deep into the sleep-shift and drinking to gamora’s memory. talking about her, and about everyone else’s five year absence. at some point, rocket will say something unintentionally revealing, and pete will get a glimpse of just how hard these past five years were for his friend — just how much pain and loneliness he’s been swamped in. and since pete is a very tactile guy — for a human, anyway — so i’m sure he goes in for a hug.

and rocket recoils so hard that he knocks his fucking chair over, spills his drink, and falls on his ass.

because he’s that afraid of hurting his friend.

there’s a moment, and then pete laughs — says something about rocket having become clumsier over the years, or that he can’t hold his liquor anymore. maybe pete’s too drunk or self-absorbed to put it together; maybe he’s not. maybe he sees the flinch for what it is, and elects not to embarrass his bestie by pointing it out.

yeah yeah, laugh it up, rocket will say, climbing back to his feet and righting his chair, brushing the alcohol off his jumpsuit and rolling his eyes.

but nebula knows. there’ve been too many drunk confessions between them over the five years of loneliness. and after pete goes to bed, she leans across the table, and laces her fingers through rocket’s. he still visibly flinches, but he’s used to this, at least: nebula’s silent reminder that she’s still here, through everything.

it sounds grim, i know. but don’t forget — we’ve seen the future. we know there will come a time, in only a few short years, when rocket will welcome hugs from his worried friends, from his son. when he’ll very tenderly hold little raccoons in his arms, and bring them home.

and he’ll realize, at some point — perhaps beyond the arête wreckage and the dancing, when the raccoons are grown and the star children aren’t really children anymore, and phyla is leading the next mission all on her own — that his touch isn’t poison at all.

that it has saved so many things, and helped them grow.

headcanons & imagines | drax & lylla symmatry pt 1 | raccoon sensory perception | rocket’s love languages pt 2 (touch)

[basingstokemercury]

(I took a gamble and it went wrong. Partly because the low-Charisma characters tried to help in a tense negotiation, but you know what? Zhalien probably miscalculated. If she lives she'll accept the blame. Anyway, a lot of us died, partly because of bad tactical decisions previously. Now we have several resurrection rituals to perform, and limited time before returning to battle. Oh, yeah, Zhalien was dying and mentioned her son for the first time.)

Bard: We should resurrect Zhalien next.

Me (OOC): Oh, I'm fine if Zhalien dies, I have Ava (backup).

Barbarian (OOC): I'm not fine if she dies.

Bard (OOC): Me neither! Now I know she has a son!

[mylordshesacactus]

on endlings, and despair

Hey, y'all. It's...been a rough couple of weeks. So, I thought--better to light a single candle, right?

If you're familiar with wildlife conservation success stories, then you're likely also familiar with their exact polar opposite. The Northern White Rhino. Conservation's poster child for despair. Our greatest and most high-profile utter failure. We slaughtered them for wealth and status, and applied the brakes too slow. Changed course too late.

We poured everything we had into trying to save them, and we failed.

We lost them. They died. The last surviving male was named Sudan. He died in 2018, elderly and sick. His genetic material is preserved, along with frozen semen from other long-dead males, but only as an exercise in futility. Only two females survive--a mother and daughter, Najin and Fatu.

Both of them are infertile. They still live; but the Northern White Rhinoceros is extinct. Gone forever.

In 2023, an experimental procedure was attempted, a hail-mary desperation play to extract healthy eggs from the surviving females.

It worked.

The extracted eggs were flown to a genetics lab, and artificially fertilized using the sperm of lost Northern males. The frozen semen that we kept, all this time, even after we knew that the only living females were incapable of becoming pregnant.

It worked.

Thirty northern white rhino embryos were created and cryogenically preserved, but with no ability to do anything with them, it was a thin hope at best. In 2024, for the first time, an extremely experimental IVF treatment was attempted on a SOUTHERN white rhino--a related subspecies.

It worked.

The embryo transplanted as part of the experiment had no northern blood--but the pregnancy took. The surgery was safe for the mother. The fetus was healthy. The procedure is viable. Surrogate Southern candidates have already been identified to carry the Northern embryos. Rhinoceros pregnancies are sixteen months long, and the implantation hasn't happened yet. It will take time, before we know. Despair is fast and loud. Hope is slower, softer. Stronger, in the end.

The first round may not take. We'll learn from it. It's what we do. We'll try again. Do better, the next time. Fail again, maybe. Learn more. Try harder.

This will not save the species. Not overnight. The numbers will be very low, with no genetic diversity to speak of. It's a holding action, nothing more.

Nothing less.

One generation won't save a species. But even a single calf will buy us time. Not quite gone, not yet. One more generation. One more endling. One more chance. And if we seize it, we might just get another after that. We're getting damn good at gene editing. At stem-cell research. In the length of a single rhino lifetime, we'll get even better.

For decades, we have been in a holding action with no hope in sight. Researchers, geneticists, environmentalists, wildlife rehabbers. Dedicated and heroic Kenyan rangers have kept the last surviving NWRs under 24/7 armed guard, line-of-sight, eyes-on, never resting, never relaxing their guard. Knowing, all the while, that their vigilance was for nothing. Would save nothing. This is a dead species--an elderly male, two females so closely related that their offspring couldn't interbreed even if they could produce any--and they can't.

Northern white rhino conservation was the most devastatingly hopeless cause in the world.

Two years from now, that dead species may welcome a whole new generation.

It's a holding action, just a holding action, but not "just". There is a monument, at the Ol Pejeta Conservancy, where the last white rhinos have lived and will die. It was created at the point where we knew--not believed, knew--that the species was past all hope. It memorializes, by name there were so few, the last of the northern white rhinos. Most of the markers have brief descriptions--where the endling rhino lived, how it was rescued, how it died.

One marker bears only these words: SUDAN | Last male Northern White Rhino.

If even a single surrogate someday bears a son, we have erased the writing on that plaque forever.

All we can manage is a holding action? Then we hold. We hold hard and fast and long, use our fingernails if we have to. But hold. Even and perhaps especially when we are past all hope.

We never know what miracle we might be buying time for.

[strawberrymitsuriii]

Rules

The mountains have many rules. But out of all of them, five are the most important.

Mitsuri x fem Reader x Obanai

Words: 5.3k

Tw: Dark content, yandere monsters, monster fucking?, dubcon, squirting, fingering, smut, submissive obanai! Kinda don ish mitsuri?, uhhh also shitty smut kinda.

The mountains have many rules.

Of course, to keep the locals and tourists safe when living/visiting here. You remember when you and your parents first visited your grandparents up here in the mountains. Your grandparents made sure your parents told you beforehand about all the rules you had to follow for your stay.

Rule number one: Don’t be/go outside after the sun sets. That’s when they come out.

Rule number two: Don’t whistle once it’s dark. It attracts them.

Rule number three: You don’t see/hear anything. You ignore it and go on about your day.

Rule number four: Always keep your doors and windows locked. Don't let them in, even if they are outside begging to be let in. Don’t. They aren’t what they seem.

And the last and most important rule

Rule number five: If you hear your name being called. Don’t. Respond. Back. It’s not who you think it might be. Ignore it and don’t entertain it. If you want to see the light of day again.

Easy five rules to follow, right?

You always made sure to follow those five simple rules. Growing scared from all the stories the locals will tell little 6 year old you. Your parents also told you to be careful. That yes the woods are pretty, but they aren’t safe.

You haven’t seen your grandparents since you were 16. It’s been a long 8 years since then. You and your parents stopped visiting them after work has been catching up to them and you being busy with school. Of course you did call in occasionally and asked how they were doing and if they have been keeping themselves safe and healthy. Not wanting to grow distant with them since you love your grandparents very much.

But after a while, the calls slowly stopped coming in. Life is getting too busy for you and your parents.

It wasn't until a week ago when your aunt called and dropped the horrible news.

Your grandparents have passed away

You remember the feeling of time stopping right then and there. The cries of your mother going muffled as you just stood there.

The funeral wasn’t any better. Everyone was crying and screaming in agony. Your father was next to your weeping mother trying to comfort her as she cried for her parents. You couldn’t do anything but just stand there. Feeling useless.

The moment you got home you quickly ran to your room. That’s when finally all the tears and pain came out. You cried yourself to sleep that night.

-

Your grandparents left the house to you. Their only granddaughter. Before they died, it was already planned out the day you were born that if anything were to happen to them or if they would die. The house will belong to you.

And the house

Oh the house is beautiful

Think about those beautiful old Victorian homes from the 1800s. That’s the beautiful home your grandparents left for you.

And they knew you loved the area. Besides all the rules and weird things that roam the place. You loved it.

So here you are. In front of the house. With your parents standing behind you.

“Are you sure you’ll be okay? We can stay here with you for a few days”

“I’m going to be okay mom. Don’t worry about me”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes dad. I’m 24 years old, I’m pretty sure I can handle myself just fine” You could tell that didn’t help at all and maybe made it a little more ... .worse?

“Okay….make sure you keep the doors and windows locked! A-a-and to not let anyone in okay?!”

“And no staying outside after the sun sets! You never-“

“Never know what can be lurking in those woods yeah yeah I got it” Your mom sighs before she gives you a kiss on your forehead.

“Okay. Stay safe and take care. Me and your father will check in on you in a few weeks, Kay?”

“Mhm”

After 10 long minutes, they left with a goodbye and now you were left alone. You noticed that the sun will begin to set soon so you called it a day and quickly rushed inside.

The house still looked the same. Same wallpaper and furniture. Your grandparents wanted all their old furniture that they bought/collected over the years to stay with the house. To stay with you.

And you didn’t have a problem with that. In fact, you're grateful they left you with all their old furniture. In this economy, a couch will probably cost the same as your rent-.

Literally

You head back upstairs and decide to buy groceries tomorrow morning.

-

“So, how is it so far?” Your friend eagerly asks.

“It’s not bad. Peaceful actually”

“Mm is that so? Those mountains give me the creeps!” You chuckle as you continue making your breakfast.

“Yeah trust me, I was afraid when I first visited this place. But as long as you follow the rules, your pretty much safe”

“Jeez, don’t know how you do it”

Today you already have a little something planned out for the day. For example, after breakfast you’ll go to the local market for groceries. After that you’ll go visit some old spots that your grandparents used to take you to during your summers and after that you’ll be home!

Simple small plans

“Yeah well for starters, I basically grew up here. And my grandparents were very overprotective of me when I would visit here”

“Well then maybe I should go up there and visit you! You’ll protect me from those things right?” You giggle as you answer her question.

“Of course I will”

“Good. Well I’ll talk to you later! I have a shit ton of stuff to do today” She sighs and you can tell she’s slumped over her kitchen counter right now.

“Well I’ll let you go now. But you better come visit once you're free!”

“You bet I am!” You said your goodbyes before hanging up.

The weather was perfect today for the small things you planned out. You made your plate and sat down at the nice dining table. You scrolled through your phone bored out of your mind as you ate the food you made.

You scrolled through pictures and videos of family, friends, or even random people before coming across an article from the town’s official account.

Two teenagers were found mutilated in the woods today earlier this morning. The two teens were reported missing on September 3rd at 9:46 pm by their parents after the teens failed to arrive home on time.

The teens were found today on September 16 at 7:23 am, two weeks after their disappearance. Local sheriffs said that they received a call from a tourist who had the misfortune to stumble upon the dead bodies of the two teens.

“Jesus” You mutter as you frown.

You always knew stuff like this happens. People not taking the rules seriously and being outside way past curfew and BOOM. Next day found dead.

You won’t lie, but you still get chills knowing that you aren’t the only one’s living here. The creatures that lurk in these mountains aren’t friendly to anyone.

Not even animals are safe as you remember stumbling upon multiple dead corpses of the unfortunate growing up.

Those things are vicious, vile creatures with zero mercy.

The words your grandmother used to tell you before reading you a bedtime story.

And she’s right. Those things show no mercy.

To those unfortunate souls that stumble upon those creatures. May they rest in eternal peace.

-

It’s been a couple weeks since you officially moved in. Life is peaceful living here. And you finally adjusted to life here!

Anyways, you were currently watching some of your favorite movies from childhood while you snacked on a bag of your favorite chips. Your parents left an hour ago after they came to check up on you. You three spent good quality time together before they had to leave for the long drive home.

You never knew living in a quiet area would be great. No more honking of cars or the screaming of people outside!

Just peace and quiet

You quietly munch on your chips as you continue watching the movie. Unaware of the eyes that were currently watching you.

No

It wasn’t in front of your window

It was behind the trees from outside

You continue eating before you frown as you hear a small click.

You ignored it at first, but then you heard the sound of a nail tapping against your window.

That’s when you completely froze

NOPE!

You quickly turned off the tv before grabbing your chips and phone and booking it upstairs to your room.

You locked your bedroom door and checked to see if your window was locked. Once you made sure everything was locked you quickly got into bed and left your chips on your night stand.

Definitely not tonight

You soon fell asleep all the while ignoring the strange noises coming from outside in the pitch dark woods.

1/5

-

People have said that the land was hunted. Curse from the Gods after humans yet again began to be greedy and cruel.

Others have said that the creatures that lurk are aliens or other creatures from space. They mysteriously appeared here one day and decided to claim the land as their home.

And others have said that those things used to be people. People who deceived the Gods and as punishment were turned into disgusting vile creatures who now live here in the mountains.

Anyways, there were a lot of rumors surrounding this place and how it came to be.

But even after all that. The land and mountains are beautiful. The most breathtaking place you can ever step foot in.

But people tend to forget about that when the stories and sightings of those creatures go around and get more attention than the beautiful small town itself.

Besides, the history of this town truly is a mystery

-

“Shit” your eyes kept going back and forth to the watch on your wrist and to the road.

Today you drove out to the city to meet up with your friends to go eat at a very popular restaurant after not seeing each other in a while. After eating, one of your friends suggested hitting up a local bar to just chill and have fun. Obviously you all agreed and went.

But unfortunately for you, you didn’t keep track of time and by the time you noticed, it was starting to get pretty late.

“Shit shit shit!” You were a little buzzed from the few drinks you took while at the bar but that didn’t really matter right now as your number one priority was to get home before the sun fully sets, which is already too late.

You kept your eyes on the road. Not taking your eyes off of it as you finally accepted defeat.

You broke one of the rules

You just hoped by the time you get home you don’t get mutilated at your front door step.

A sigh of relief leaves your lips as your house comes into view. You quickly parked and turned off the car and sat there for a moment.

It was quiet

You quickly snatch your keys out of your purse and look around for anything. Your eyes then turn to look at your front door and you take a deep breath. Keys ready in hand, you quickly got out of the car and ran to your door. You opened the door and quickly rushed inside before locking it.

You stood still for a moment. After what felt like forever you sighed in relief and decided that that will be the last time you’ll ever do that again.

No more rule breaking

You told yourself as you walked upstairs. Unaware of the glowing eyes peering outside your window.

2/5

Nothing bad or strange happened that night. You were relieved to wake up the next morning. You had a hard time getting some sleep after you broke one of the five rules. Thinking you wouldn’t see the light of day if you were to go to sleep.

But by some miracle you woke up fine

Which you were very grateful for after seeing more articles of bodies being found deep inside the woods. It’s been getting pretty dangerous lately as more news of dead bodies being found in those woods has become more frequent.

The townspeople were starting to get worried and scared to even step foot outside. Afraid their bodies will be found next.

When your parents found out about you breaking one of the rules, they were livid!

They scolded you for being so careless and not caring about your safety. It took a minute to calm them down but once you did your mom scolded you one last time before hanging up.

“So what are you going to do?”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“C’mon y/n, you're seriously planning on still staying after more bodies are being found and not only that but you breaking one of the rules?! Girl you’re crazy” You chuckled and continued folding your clothes.

“Nothing bad happened after that night. Seriously, I'm fine”

“You’re fucking crazy”

“Am not” She sighs and you could tell she’s stressing.

“Just be careful okay? I don’t want you being found next”

“I promise I’ll be fine so quit worrying before you get a grey hair!”

“Oh fuck you!” You both laugh before saying your goodbyes and hanging up. You finish folding the last bit of clothes before letting out a loud sigh. You were tired after today’s event. You did some grocery shopping and some heavy chores.

And by heavy chores….you deep cleaned the whole house

So now you were straight up tired after running around all day. Before your ass could even hit the bed, you heard a loud knock coming from downstairs. You froze and waited to hear it again, thinking it was just your tired mind playing tricks on you.

Knock knock knock

You looked outside and saw that it was dark.

Who the hell could it be knocking at your door this late at night?

You made your way downstairs and the knocking on the door became louder.

“Hello?! Is anyone home?!”

Your heart dropped

It was a female voice

“Please! Our car broke down and we don’t know what to do! If anyone’s home can you please help us!?”

You stayed completely still

What the fuck do you do?!

You quietly make your way up the door and decide to take a small peek at the peephole.

There stood two figures. A women and a man.

The woman looked frightened as she kept looking over her shoulder and the man beside her kept caressing her back as if trying to calm her down.

They look human

You stepped back from the door

Should I open it? Should I help these people and let them in?

“Please, we can’t be outside at this hour so if anyone’s home please let us in” This time the man spoke up.

The knocking stopped after that. Only the sounds of the women’s cries can be heard.

“It’s no use! Obanai-San we’re gonna die!”

“No we’re not. C’mon, it’s best that we get back to the car and just stay there for the night”

“B-but what if those things get us on our way to the car?! No no no! Please whoever is in there let us in!”

“Mitsuri-“

You opened the door which caused the women to screech and hide behind the male. You pointed your gun at them and the man quickly covered the women with his body.

“What are you guys doing knocking at my door?!”

“We need help. Our car broke down not to far from here and we need a place to stay for the night” The man says as he looks at the gun and then back at you.

“And what makes you think I believe you? For all I know you guys can be one of those creatures!”

“If we were you would’ve been dead the moment you opened that door” He says.

“Please! We really do need help!” This time the woman behind him speaks up.

You looked at the two in front of you carefully. They look like they really need help and they also look human. The man is right, if they weren’t they would’ve killed you by now. You sigh before lowering your gun. This makes the two relax and you quickly motion them inside.

“You know it’s dangerous walking around here when it’s dark right?” You say. Eyeing the two suspiciously.

“Of course we know”

“Where were you guys headed?” You asked. Still skeptical about the two of them.

“We were going to go visit my parents! They live in the next town over but while on our way there our car broke down in the middle of the road!” The colorful hair women cried out. You raised a brow at her.

“Why did you guys decide to walk all the way over here? You could’ve just waited it out in your car”

“That was the original plan. But someone wanted to go ask for help” the man says as he looks at the woman next to him. She goes bright red before speaking up.

“I was scared! I heard multiple stories about this place!” You chuckle. The mountains and town are really popular with its supernatural stories after all.

“You guys can spend the night” The two sigh in relief. Thankful for your kindness.

“Thank you so much! You are so kind!” The woman blurted out as she smiled.

“Yeah….but by morning you guys have to be out”

“That won’t be a problem” The man says. You just nod and show them the way to one of the many guest bedrooms you have.

“Oh my goodness! How impolite of us to not introduce ourselves! My name is mitsuri!”

“This is obanai! Thank you once again!”

Okay she’s definitely not one of those creatures. You relaxed a bit and decided why not also introduce yourself.

“I’m y/n”

“Oh! Y/n you have such a very pretty name!” She says as she smiles.

“Ah, thank you. Your name is very pretty also!” The woman beams. Very happy to hear that.

“Well I’ll leave the two of you alone. Doors and windows are locked so there’s no need to worry about the monsters coming in!” You joke. They both nod. You leave to go back to your room for much needed rest after a long day. You sleep in utter peace. Not knowing that even with doors and windows locked. The monster still made their way inside your precious home.

3/5

The next day you woke up to the two strangers gone. The bedroom that they stayed in from the night before was left cleaned and untouched. Like they never used it.

“At least they made the bed”

You moved on after that. Weeks have passed and the strangers have become ... .Well strangers!

You just got home from work and you were slumped. It was late, yes but you managed to get home before the sun set. You were ready to just fall asleep in the sweat and dirt from today at work until you remembered that you recently washed your bedsheets and covers.

You were currently washing up and scrubbing away all the dead skin and dirt that has built up while also thinking about what you should make tomorrow for dinner.

Your parents are coming to visit tomorrow and are also staying for a few days so you wanted to make sure you have all the ingredients for tomorrow's dinner.

“Maybe I should make some pasta? Shrimp Alfredo? Or maybe some chicken curry? Orrr chicken quesadillas? Or maybe-“

You continue to ramble about all the possible foods you can make for tomorrow’s dinner.

Once you were done cleaning up, you made sure to quickly write down the dinner plans so you wouldn’t forget by tomorrow morning.

“Phewwww! Welp time for bed!” You made yourself comfortable before drifting off to blissful sleep.

Unaware of the small whistle that slipped out your mouth earlier in the shower.

4/5

You managed to wake up bright and early to get the things you needed to make tonight’s dinner. Your parents are coming in a few hours so you wanted to get the ingredients for dinner out of the way so you wouldn’t have to worry about it later.

You went to your local market to buy all the fresh vegetables and fruits first before going to another store to pick up some other stuff that you needed.

You were excited. It’s been some time since you saw your parents so you wanted everything to be perfect. After picking up the last few ingredients you drove home. You also needed to do some last minute cleaning before focusing on the dinner part.

Once you arrived home you saw something strange laying on your front porch.

“Weird…I don’t remember ordering anything” You parked your car before slowly getting out of the vehicle. The moment you got out a stench hit you straight in the face. You wanted to vomit and you quickly covered half of your face.

It was coming from your front porch

Slowly, you walked towards your porch to get a closer look at what was there and you noticed flies surrounding the thing that was there.

“Oh my God”

You took a step back when you noticed what was there.

It was a dead deer

The poor thing was….mutilated. There was a dead mutilated deer on your front porch.

You felt sick

Your stomach turned and you felt like vomiting right then and there.

“So you found a dead deer on your front porch?”

“Yes”

“And nothing else? Dear are you okay?!”

“Mhm yes mom I’m fine” You called your parents immediately after seeing the dead animal in front of your house. The moment your parents heard, they immediately got in the car and started making their way to you a little earlier than what was planned.

“Go inside the house from the back door. Don’t touch anything and keep the doors locked. Stuff like this is usually a threat from those things, we’ll be there in 2 hours if traffic isn’t bad, but just stay inside okay?”

“Yes dad”

“Everythings going to be fine sweetheart, so don’t stress, okay?”

“Yes mom I’m already inside so don’t worry”

“Okay, we’ll be there soon”

And the call ended

Luckily you brought the grocery bags inside the house so you decided to start making dinner a little earlier than expected to get your mind off the dead animal that is still currently laying on your front porch.

You wouldn’t lie and say you weren’t scared. You were fucking terrified. When dead animals are left in front of someone’s house or backyard or land, 100% of the time that person is dead.

It’s a threat. Those things are threatening you and you don’t even know WHY.

You're trying to remember all the things you could’ve done to upset them - or it? You don’t know! You just can’t come up with anything that could explain why such a thing even happened!

You try to let it go and forget about it.

Maybe it’s a coincidence or…a mistake?

Maybe they got the wrong house, yeah?

You sigh and decide to just focus on dinner.

As you were washing some of the vegetables, you heard a faint click.

With the speed of light you turned off the water and stood completely still. You hear the faint sounds of tapping coming from the window of the living room.

Oh God

The sounds of nails dragging against the door is what you hear next. Long. Sharp. Nails.

You hear it before it stops. Then you hear the tap on the window again but now it’s coming from in front of you. You looked up at the window that is in front of your sink. You were lucky you have a small curtain covering the window because you know whatever is behind that window would’ve scared the ever living shit out of you.

You took a couple steps back before your back hit something. Immediately you froze.

You stayed still as whatever was behind you let out a low growl. You feel its long boney hands rest on your shoulders and you could physically feel your heart drop.

The thing then grips your shoulders and that was enough for you to pass out in fear.

Your head is pounding and you feel cold. You slowly opened your eyes and you saw that it was dark outside.

What

Was all that just a dream?

You tried to sit up but something cold stopped you from doing so. You looked up and saw that your wrists were tied. The cold breeze from the open window made you shiver.

Wait

Open window?!

You panicked and tried to sit up but you couldn’t. The chains on your wrist prevented you from moving let alone getting up. That’s when you also noticed that you weren’t fully clothed. Only your underwear was on and you felt scared.

What the fuck was happening?!

And then….you hear it again. The faint tapping sound of nails on the glass window. But this time you could tell it was coming from inside your room. You slowly turned your head to face the window of your bedroom.

There….you saw a tall slender figure.

But something about this…person? Seemed familiar.

The person….continued tapping its nail against the window and something about that gave you an eerie feeling.

Suddenly, it stops.

You hold your breath as its head slowly moves to look at you.

Your heart drops the moment you make eye contact with it.

“M-mitsuri?” You whisper.

You can’t believe the woman standing before you is the same woman you met a month ago.

She looks so different

She looks…taller and her face…her face doesn’t look human at all but it also does….does that even make sense?!

Her hair is loose and she seems to not be wearing any clothes. You quickly look away but the moment you do you look up to see obanai hovering over you while staring deeply into your soul.

He also looked different

But the thing that caught your attention the most was his mouth. You see the long cuts in the corner of his mouth. Giving him a snake-like appearance.

“You're awake” Her voice sounds different. Your heart starts to beat fast and you can feel tears already threatening to fall.

“W-why…w-what are you guys”

You closed your eyes. Not daring to look at either of them.

What the fuck are they doing in your house

“You're so pretty….you look so cute being underneath him” She says as she slowly starts caressing your hair. You whimper as you feel obanai beginning to nuzzle his face on your neck.

He was sniffing you

“Noo no no no please don’t kill me!” You cry out as you struggle against your chains. She just giggles before joining you two on the bed.

“We would never hurt you. Right obanai?” He just growls. You can feel his clawed hands beginning to fondle with your breast and you gulp the more you feel him press himself closer to you.

“No no no”

“Shhhh everything’s going to be fine….” You can feel her hand slowly start to make its way towards your private area. You cry as you feel her clawed finger rip your underwear before slowly playing with your clit.

“No! Please-“ You gasp when you feel the male's mouth on your chest. He takes a nipple in his mouth and you shiver feeling his long tongue swirl around it.

Mitsuri continues playing with your clit and she giggles seeing you squirm underneath her touch.

Cute

She thinks

You gasp the moment you feel her fingers slip inside your hole. You gripped onto the chains and bit your lip as tears slid down your cheeks.

“No wait! N-not there!” She begins to thrust her fingers in and out your hole and all you could do is shut your eyes tight as you tried your best to not make any noise. Meanwhile, obanai was having the time of his life sucking harshly at your nipples. A lewd pop is heard as he finally leaves your poor nipple alone.

“More” he growls. You feel relieved when her fingers leave your poor cunt alone. But that was soon gone when you felt something poking you from down there. Your blood runs cold the moment you look down to see a monstrous cock.

Terrified, you squirm and shake your head knowing what was going to happen.

“No no no! Please! That’s not going to fit, please let me go!”

They don’t even pay you any mind as he grabs ahold of both of your thighs and spreads your legs open. They both coo at you and mitsuri begins to caress your face as she calms you down.

His tip pokes your entrance. You can tell he’s trying to hold himself back as mitsuri starts to also caress his face. He leans against her touch and waits for the green light.

“Be careful. Human women are much more delicate than us” He nods before he starts lining up his tip against your hole. You gasp as you feel him slowly push in.

You were ashamed of how wet you were.

You cry out at the burning sensation you feel. Your poor little cunt is being stretched open for crying out loud! You try scooting back. Not wanting him in. But that soon stops as he grabs your waist and slams you down fully on his length. You scream as you gripped onto the chains.

“There there! Look how perfect you're taking him! Oh I knew you were perfect for us!”

You could feel your face heat up at the lewd sounds of your cunt on his cock and the groans and moans leaving him.

“S-slow down!”

You can hear him whimper as he buries his face on your neck. And no, he doesn’t slow down. In fact, he quickened his pace and you could feel your legs start to shake.

“So beautiful!” Your face burns seeing her staring to play with herself. She fondles one of her breasts while looking at the two of you intensely.

Before you know it, you squirt all over his length. The man holds on to you tight as he cums deep inside you. You breathe heavy, your body tired and sensitive from what it has experienced. You couldn’t keep your eyes open even for a second from how tired you were.

“Shhh sleep now. Don’t worry we’ll take great care of you” You lean against her touch and the last thing you see before sleep takes over you is the chains being cut off before your carefully picked up from the bed.

Your parents arrive at last. Your father sees the dead animal still laying on your front porch and him and your mother both quickly make their way in from the back door.

“Y/n! We’re here!” Your mother shouts. But she was met with silence. Worried, your parents quickly run upstairs in search of you. Entering your room, they see that you aren’t in there and that’s when they both begin to panic.

They search the whole house from top to bottom but only to be met with nothing. You weren’t there.

A few hours later they filed a missing persons report and asked for a search party to help find you.

Unfortunately, upon seeing the dead Animal in front of your porch, the sheriff and people of the town broke the news to your parents about you falling victim to those monsters.

After all

The mountains have many rules. And you broke 5 of the most important ones.

-

[sturnslutz]

the beginning

first actual intro fic of this au/series ts??? a/n at the end of this

the second you rolled down the window, that salty cape cod air hit you straight in the face. it smelled like sunscreen, seaweed, and nostalgia—if nostalgia had a scent—and it made your chest tighten in that weird way. not bad, just… like something was about to happen.

“i swear to fucking god,” solina said from the backseat, practically crawling over your shoulder, “if matt got taller again, i’m throwing hands.”

you snorted, flicking her forehead. “you say that every summer, lina.”

“and i mean it every time, pearl.” she shot back, grinning like a maniac.

your mom gave you a look in the rearview. “can we please not start the violence before we get there? at least wait until we’ve said hello.”

“no promises.” solina muttered.

the car crunched to a stop on the familiar gravel driveway, and just like that, you were back. the sturniolo house looked exactly the same. white paint that needed a touch up, blue shutters that chris claimed gave it “character” and the porch swing that was one gust of wind away from falling off.

on the porch stood marylou and jimmy, smiling like you’d never been gone. and leaning against the railing, and arguing about god knows what, were the triplets.

matt was right there. hair longer than last summer, sun catching on the tips. he had that lazy smirk on his face like he knew exactly what he was doing, and when his eyes caught yours, something in your stomach flipped so violently you thought you might actually die.

“YO!” chris yelled, hopping over the railing because of course he did. “pearl’s finally here. we were about to eat the cake without you.”

you grinned, stepping out of the car. “you would, asshole.” “damn right,” he said, pulling you into a hug that nearly knocked you over. “you look different. like, in a hot way. don’t make it weird.”

“it’s already weird,” you said, shoving him, but you were laughing. nick was next, hugging you tight and whispering, “bitch. bitch. you look insane. matt’s gonna pass the fuck out.”

“nick, shut the fuck up,” you hissed, cheeks burning. he just winked and skipped off to help solina with bags, leaving you to deal with marylou, who immediately smothered you like the queen she was.

“happy belated birthday, sweetheart! we’ve got cake, we’ve got dinner, and nobody’s allowed to make plans tonight. it’s your night, okay? i’ve been waiting for this all week.”

you hugged her tight, smiling into her shoulder. “missed you guys.”

“missed you too, honey,” she said, patting your back. “and wait ‘til you see the cake. pink frosting, just how you like it.”

your mom came around the car, arms full of bags. “marylou, you didn’t have to go all out again. she’s already spoiled enough.”

marylou waved her off. “oh, hush. she only turns eighteen once.” “and we are celebrating all weekend.” your mom said, nudging you. “i brought basically all of her swimsuits, just in case anyone forgets she’s now someone i have to worry about.”

“mom.” you groaned.

“what? i’m just saying. you look great, hon.”

matt hadn’t said anything yet, just watched you with that unreadable expression. you walked up to him, tilting your head.

“hey.”

his smile widened. “hey, birthday girl.” he pulled you into a hug, one hand resting lightly on your waist, and yeah… maybe he had gotten taller. “missed you.”

you couldn’t stop the grin that spread across your face. “missed you too.”

solina cleared her throat dramatically behind you. “so, are we going to stand here all day or what?”

jimmy laughed. “let’s get your stuff inside. and nobody’s touching that cake until after dinner, capisce?”

“we’ll see about that.” chris said as he hopped through the house, making his way to the kitchen.

“yeah, we know fatass. see he’s already running to the kitchen, even though he was just there. 10 minutes ago.” he yelled out before talking to you, solina and matt.

lina laughed. “is nate coming over today?” she asks as she holds the door open for the rest of you. matt gave you a weird look before looking back at her. “yeah, probably after dinner. kid only wants the cake.”

after some time getting unpacked and eating dinner, (not without the unmistakable tension between you and the boys,) it’s time for cake. nate shows up record time after chris texted him that they’re done with dinner, a knock erupting loudly against the front door. “open up!”

solina’s face lit up and looked at you and you smiled. “go say hi,” you mouthed and she shook her head. “i can’t.” she mouthed back and you rolled your eyes.

nathan came running in, probably a bit drunk, and wrapped his arms around you from around the chair, smothering your hair in kisses. “pearl! so good to fuckin’ see you, kid.” nate’s boston accent was very obvious , even though he literally lived in cape cod.

you smiled as you patted his arms. “hey nate.” you looked up at solina, and she didn’t have the best expression. you never really see this face from her, but when she noticed you looking at her, she gave a smile that didn’t reach her eyes.

the cake finally came out, and it looked like something out of a bakery window. pink frosting piled high, way too many sprinkles, and your name written in big, loopy letters. marylou really did go all out, and it was so obnoxiously perfect that you almost wanted to cry.

“okay,” nate said, leaning over your shoulder, “if you don’t eat that corner piece, i will.”

“try me.” you shot back, smacking his hand to which he gasped at, exaggerating.

“friends, friends,” chris said, sliding up next to you and tossing an arm over your shoulders, “no need to fight. i’m happy to feed pearl. with my own hands, if necessary.”

you blinked. “what the hell.” nick laughed so hard he nearly choked on frosting. “you’re disgusting.”

“what?” chris grinned, leaning into you a little. “just being a gentleman.”

you elbowed him, but he didn’t move. “you’re definitely something.” he winked. “you’re welcome.”

matt watched the exchange from across the table, spoon in his mouth, eyes narrowed just slightly. you caught it, the flicker of something, and he quickly looked away, back to his cake like it was the most fascinating thing in the world.

your stomach twisted.

you weren’t sure if it was from the sugar or the way matt kept not looking at you.

later, when the kitchen was a wreck of empty plates and a table full of crumbs and pieces of cake, everyone migrated to the back porch, sprawled out under the string lights. the air was cooler now, but still humid.

nick pulled out his phone, camera already rolling. “alright, truth or dare, bitches. no backing out.”

“absolutely not,” your mom called from inside. “you guys can not break anything this year.” marylou followed it up with, “and no skinny dipping! please. last year was enough.”

solina snorted. “that wasn’t even us.”

“it was chris.” your mom corrected.

“guilty.” chris grinned, not even pretending to be sorry.

nick flopped onto the porch steps, eyes on you. “pearl, truth or dare.” you groaned. “you’re really coming for me first?”

“obviously.”

you glanced at solina, who gave you a do it look. matt was sitting nearby, stretching out his legs, eyes flicking to you over the rim of his soda. chris was eyeing you while he moved from his seat with nate, next to you.

“fine. truth.”

nick smirked like he’d been waiting for this. “who do you think is the hottest triplet?”

immediate chaos. chris gasped dramatically, matt nearly spit out his drink, and even jimmy, from inside, yelled, “i don’t wanna know!”

you laughed so hard you nearly doubled over. “nick, you bitch.”

“answer the question, pearl.” solina said, eyes wide, eating this up.

you looked at all three of them. chris, grinning like an idiot, leaning in like he already knew what you’d say, matt, quiet, watching you, waiting.

“okay,” you said slowly, dragging it out, “it’s definitely not nick.”

“rude!” nick clutched his chest like you stabbed him.

you pretended to think, tapping your chin. “hmm. it’s a tie.” chris raised a brow. “between?”

“chris and matt.” you said, shrugging like it meant nothing, but your pulse was fucking insane.

nate and nick were already dying laughing. “oh my god, this is better than i thought.”

matt just looked at you, something in his eyes you couldn’t quite name.

chris bumped your leg with his. “so what you’re saying is, i’ve got a chance.”

you leaned in, close enough that he froze. “not a big one.”

his jaw dropped. “damn.”

“harsh,” solina cackled. “but fair.”

you met matt’s eyes again, and this time, he didn’t look away.

you couldn’t either.

a/n : ok how do we feel… what team are u on? do we like solina? nate? what’s ur thoughts? SPILLLLL

divider creds: @strangergraphics

@muwapsturniolo @lovergirl4gracieabrams @m4ttg1rl @lypsiiii @tyummyz @sturniqlo @emely9274 @shadowthesim @mattsobvimyfav @sturnl0ve @wastelandzella @fallininlust @chrisslut04 @sophand4n4 @vainilladollie @slutforchrissturniolo2 @ncm9696 @snoopychris @ilovedanielcaesar @sofieeeeex @chr0mehrts @cockettechris @iloveduckssm @stvrnioloslvt @sturn777 @priscillaog @allylovescody @sturniolo101 @mattssslutbby @mattybsgroupie @mattysketchup @m11rx @slut4brunettes @trevorsgodmother @chrislova @slut4christopherr @sturns-mermaid @oopsiedaisydeer @conspiracy-ash @p1mpactivities @sweeetbabysblog @brooklyncameron @chrisgetsmewetter @h3arts4harry @jetaimevous @starstrucktyrantinfluencer @raesturns @sturnsrecord @matteatmeout @luvvs4chriss

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Apple Pie Life

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.6k

Warnings: angst, threat of divorce, tired of coming in second

Summary: While Dean is out there saving the world, you’re back at home with your daughter wondering if you’re ever going to see him again or if he’s alive. There comes a point where you just can’t do it anymore so you bring up the one thing that will definitely destroy your relationship. Will Dean accept it or change who he is for you?

Square Filled: “So you think I’m broken? Fix me. ‘Cause I’m no quitter.” (2021) for @spnquotebingo

Author’s Note: any and all comments are greatly appreciated <3

x

Alyssa crawls under the covers and hides her face, and you go tickling her to see where she’s at. Her giggles bring a smile to your face but you’re still so sad about your whole situation. You remove the covers from her head and smooth back her frizzy hair.

“Are you going to go to sleep this time?” you ask.

“Maaaybe,” she sings.

“Go to sleep and maybe I’ll make chocolate chip pancakes in the morning.” You kiss her head. “I love you, snugbug.”

“I love you too,” she grins. Her two front teeth are missing, but you can see the adult teeth peeking out from her gums. You get up to leave but her next words stop you. “Where’s Daddy?”

Just like that, the happiness is gone. Your heart cracks at her questions because you truly don’t know where he is. You don’t even know if he’s alive. Still, you can’t tell that to your six-year-old, so you tell her something that will bring her comfort.

“He’s with Uncle Sam right now.”

Good. Keep it vague.

“When is he gonna be back?”

“Soon. If you go to sleep, he might be here when you wake up.”

Alyssa snuggles in her blanket, eyes already closed. You turn off the light but keep the night light on before closing the door behind you. The tears want to come but you will them not to fall. You can’t cry right now. You have to pretend to be strong even if it’s killing you. You walk downstairs to the kitchen and pour yourself a big glass of wine. You take that glass to the couch in the living room, and you pull your phone out to call Dean.

Like always, he doesn’t answer. He sends you straight to voicemail, and a piece of your heart breaks off and turns to ash. You’re not sure how long you can do this for. Soon, there won’t be enough of your heart to give to him. You should be sleeping. You should be tucked under the covers and in a dreamless sleep, but you can’t sleep not knowing if Dean is alive or where he is.

So, you drink and when that glass is done, you pour another and continue drinking. You’re halfway through your third glass when the front door opens. Dean walks through and tries to be quiet for your sake, but you’re already jumping off the couch.

“Thank God. Where the hell were you? I called you, like twenty times.”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. There was this pack of werewolves that refused to die. They broke my phone.” He proves this by pulling it out of his pocket. It’s true. It’s smashed to pieces. “Plus, we were in the mountains where the reception wasn’t that great, anyway.”

“Alyssa was asking about you.”

Dean sighs and runs a hand through his short hair. “What did you say?”

“What I always tell her. That you’ll be here in the morning.” You let silence befall between you two. “Will you?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Mmm.” You walk toward the kitchen and put your lass into the sink. Now that you know he’s safe and alive, you can sleep. “Maybe stay more than a week this time, okay?”

“Y/N…”

“I’m going to bed.”

You leave him standing in the kitchen all alone, and he curses to himself once the bedroom door closes. The next morning, you wake to the sound of pots and pans clanging in the kitchen, Alyssa knows better than to not mess with those on her own so Dean must have been telling the truth. He’s here. You really shouldn’t have had that extra glass of wine. You have a small headache but knowing Dean is here makes the pain worth it.

You brush your teeth before going downstairs, and you see Alyssa on a step stool as she helps Dean mix the batter in a bowl. She’s the first one to see you standing in the doorway.

“Mommy! Daddy and I made pancakes!”

You smile at her enthusiasm. “It smells good, baby. Good job.” Dean pushes a plate of two pancakes to you, and you grab a fork. “Thanks.”

“Daddy said he was going to take me to the zoo this weekend! He also said that we can get as much ice cream as I can eat!”

“Is that right?” You look at Dean but instead of a happy smile on his face, he is racked with guilt. You know that look all too well. He’s not taking her to the zoo which means you’ll have to. “Alyssa, I’ll be taking you to the zoo.”

“Y/N--”

“What? I’m just saying it like how it is. You have work to do, don’t you?”

“Daddy?”

Dean is forced to confront reality and looks at Alyssa with a guilty face. “Alyssa, I just have to do something with Uncle Sammy. It won’t take long.”

“Can I come?”

You’re immediately put on alert but Dean isn’t stupid. He knows better than to put his daughter in danger.

“Not this time, baby.”

She stirs the batter but it’s not as happily as before.

“When will you be back?”

“I’ll try to be back before Friday.”

You look at your watch and widen when you see what time it is.

“Why don’t you get ready for school? The bus will be here in thirty minutes.”

You and Dean keep the peace as long as Alyssa is in the house. The second she hops onto the bus, you let it show just how pissed off you are with him. You walk back into the house and head straight to the kitchen to clean the mess they made. Your pancakes are left untouched; you’re not hungry anymore. Dean stays silent but he knows he has to say something to you even though he knows whatever he says won’t be of any comfort to you.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

“Yeah, you’re always sorry.”

“Don’t do that.”

You slam the plastic bowl onto the kitchen island a bit too hard, and splotches of batter land on the counter. “Are we not important to you?”

“You know that’s not it.”

“It seems like it is when you leave us behind. You’re not here, Dean. When she asks me where Daddy is or when he’s coming home, I never know what to fucking tell her because I don’t even know if you’re alive!”

Something dark crosses over Dean’s features. “This is the life, Y/N.”

“Yeah, I know,” you scoff. You grab the batter bowl and toss it into the sink. You’ll clean it later. You grab a few paper towels and start to wipe the surface of the counter. “That’s always the excuse.”

“It’s not an excuse. It’s my life.”

“What about my life?!” you yell. “What about Alyssa’s life? You never see the disappointment in her eyes when I tell her that you’re not coming home. When will it be our turn to have you?”

It breaks your heart to even think about doing this, but you don’t know what else to do. You toss the paper towels into the trash and grab your purse. You pull out a packet of papers and slide them across the counter over to Dean.

“What is this?”

It hurts to even say these words but you know they have to be said. You want them to come out strong but they only come out as a whisper.

“I think the only way to save this family is to break it up.”

Dean grabs the papers and skims the first page.

“You want a divorce?”

You can’t meet Dean’s eyes. If you do, you’ll break down in tears and give in. You’re done bending to what he wants. It’s time you try and protect your fragile heart.

“I won’t ever keep Alyssa from you, but I can’t do this anymore. I can’t keep wondering when the love of my life is going to come home, and if he does, will he be in one piece? I admire what you do and I know people need you, but I need you.” Your voice cracks and the tears come. “I’m losing weight, Dean. My eyes are sunken in. My head hurts all the damn time. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat properly. I can’t do this anymore.”

Dean crushes the papers in his hands and throws them onto the counter. He’s never been one to confront how he’s feeling, and this is one of those times. He wants to comfort you, but he doesn’t know how. He’d hate to do or say something he’d regret so he turns and storms out of the kitchen and out of the house. When the door slams behind him, you sink to the floor in tears.

It’s not like you don’t love him. You’re in love with him, but you can’t keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. You can’t keep waiting for death to come for you, Alyssa, or Dean.

Dean doesn’t know where to go but his brain is on overdrive. He drives straight back to the Bunker where Sam is. Dena has to talk to someone, he needs someone to tell him what to do because he doesn’t know what to do. Do you think he’s fine with leaving you for weeks at a time? It breaks his heart. He hates that you are living this hollow life. He knows you deserve more.

Sam knows something is wrong the second Dean walks into the war room, and he provides his brother with a listening ear. He knew this was coming. It was inevitable. When you live two lives, one of them always crumbles.

“What do you want to do?” Sam asks after Dean is done.

“I can’t lose her, Sammy, but if I continue doing what I’m doing, I will.”

Sam is silent for five minutes trying to find the right words to say.

“What if you let her go?” Dean looks at his brother with red-rimmed eyes. “What if letting her go is the only way to protect her? To protect both of them?”

“There has to be another way.” Dean puts his head down and actually cries. Sam has never seen his brother like this. A thought of realization crosses Dean’s mind, and he looks up at his brother. “There might be another way.”

Alyssa was disappointed when she got home from school and didn’t see Dean waiting there for her. You had to keep her distracted with a new toy, but you know this can’t go on like this for much longer. She’s getting older and smarter. She’ll figure out something is wrong with Mommy and Daddy fast.

She usually likes to stay up and watch movies with you, but she wants to go to bed early tonight. Maybe she’s hoping when she wakes up, Daddy will be there waiting for her. You’re downstairs with a glass of wine just staring at the divorce papers. The look on Dean’s face when he realized what they were… true heartbreak. It hurt for you to even bring this up, but you don’t know of any other way to make this work.

You have a pen in hand but you can’t seem to sign it. The front door opens and you look up to see Dean walk in. He’s back. You set the pen down but you don’t get up to greet him. You do set your glass of wine down on the kitchen island.

“Hi,” you whisper.

“Hi.” He walks into the light and you can tell he’d been crying for hours. His eyes are red and puffy, as you’re sure yours are. He sits next to you and looks at the papers. “Is this really what you want?”

“I don’t know any other way. It hurts when you’re not here. It hurts seeing you in pain. It just hurts so much.”

Dean grabs the pen but he doesn’t sign it. He just stares at it and thinks back to the conversation he had with his brother. There is a way to fix this. But if you don’t want it fixed, then he’ll sign.

“If I sign this, I don’t know if we’ll ever come back from it.”

“If you don’t, I don’t see how we can move on.”

He’s about to say something when a small voice comes from the top of the stairs. You both turn to see Alyssa in her pink pajamas holding the stuffed unicorn that Dean got her.

“Are you guys going to read me a bedtime story?”

You’re about to get up when Dean stops you. “Let me.”

Dean follows Alyssa to bed while you stay downstairs. You spent the entire time just staring at the divorce papers wondering if this is what you really want. Of course, it’s not. You don’t ever want to be apart from Dean. You love him so much. That’s why it hurts so much. Dean walks back downstairs thirty minutes later and rejoins you in the kitchen.

“Look, if we’re going to do this, I think it’s best if you leave before the morning.”

“No.”

You look at Dean. “What?”

“No, I’m not doing this. I’m not getting a divorce.”

“Dean…”

“No, listen to me. I never knew I could have what you have given to me. I thought I was going to die bloody and that was that. Then you came along and showed me there is more to this world than blood and gore. Then Alyssa came alone and I had the apple pie life I’ve always wanted. I hunt for you and her. I hunt to keep them away from you, but I now see it’s tearing you apart. So, you think I’m broken? Fix me. ‘Cause I’m no quitter. I’ll fix me. I’ll work better on us for us.”

Tears well in your eyes and roll down your cheeks in waves. “I don’t think you’re broken. Our system is broken. I love you, Dean, but I can’t keep coming in second.”

Dean grabs both of your hands and runs his thumbs across their backs.

“You don’t have to anymore. I talked to Sam. I’m out.”

You pull your hands back “Wait, what?”

“I’m done hunting. Sam agreed he’d call if he needs help researching, but I won’t be hunting anymore.”

“You love hunting,” you whisper.

He touches your cheek gently. “I love you more.”

“What about Sam? Who will do it with him?”

“Jody has a few girls she’s been training. Sam loves to teach. I think they’d be good with him. Plus, he has Eileen and Garth and Donna.”

You shake your head as you try to wrap your mind around this. “Wait, Dean, I can’t ask you to give up hunting. That’s who you are.”

“You are who I am. Alyssa is who I am. I’d do anything for you and that includes this. I’m okay with this decision, but I am not okay with divorcing you because I am not done loving you.” You break out in a fit of sobs and Dean pulls you closer to him. “I will always be here. I won’t leave anymore. Sam even found me a mechanic job near here.”

“You’d really do that for me?” you whisper, unable to believe it still.

“I’d burn the world for you.” You lean up and kiss him with everything you’ve got. He pulls away from you and grabs the divorce papers. He rips them to shreds and tosses them into the trash. “It’s me and you, okay?”

“Forever and always.”

Dean captures your lips again, this time, picking you up by your thighs. This isn’t going to fix everything but it’s one hell of a start.

x

Want to be tagged? Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[httpiastri]

hiii! i would like a ❣️ but with voicemails from the drivers hinting that they like you? we have mostly the same favorite drivers so just write for whoever you think would be good 😌

❣️ – send me a prompt and one/a few drivers and i'll tell you how i think they would react!!

(featuring: lando, charles, alex, oscar, ollie, paul, arthur, pepe and clem)

lando norris

"i think you should come visit me in monaco more. you know that the bed in my guest room is always made for you. and i put on those sheets i know you like, and i have those fragrance sticks with the rose scent, you said you liked them last time you visited me. well, i mean, my room and my bed is always ready for you, too. and i'll be in it, so… *chuckle* my mind just keeps wandering off to when you were here a few nights ago, and… i think… honestly? i think you should move in with me. okay, that sounds crazy and impulsive and like i haven't thought this through, but i really have given it a lot of thought. i want you to move in here. don't worry about the expenses, i can take care of it all. and a moving truck to get your stuff, i'll pay for it. just… think about it, will you? don't just laugh it off. i'm serious about this."

charles leclerc

"i just got back to the apartment, and it's... so quiet without you here. i keep thinking about the last time we made dinner together and how you laughed so hard at my terrible cooking that the neighbors came over to complain. i'm still scared of meeting them in the stairwell. maybe next time, you should be the one to take charge and show me how it's done? save me from another disaster? or we could go out, whichever you prefer. i just really want to see you again. and not die from food poisoning."

alex albon

"the other day, you mentioned not having a necklace that fit the new top you bought. and for some reason, i just happened to find myself right outside a jewelry store today. so i went in and bought you something. the lady in the cash register told me that a longer chain with a pendant would fit a v-neck top best, so that's what i got. it's gold, of course, i wouldn't dare buy you anything silver after you lectured me about having a warm skin tone for half an hour... i don't know, i just wanted to tell you this so you don't run around stressing about having to buy a new necklace. i can drop by yours with it if you want me to. or if you want to wear the top tonight, i'll give it to you when i pick you up."

oscar piastri

"hey, i just wanted to check in with you, make sure you're okay. are you? *pause*. what he said tonight, that was... it wasn't right. you don't deserve that. he was wrong, he has no idea what he's talking about. please, call me when you get this."

ollie bearman

"can i come straight to yours from the airport? you don't have to hug me before i shower, i might be full of flight germs, but... i just want to see you. and i'm pretty sure i forgot my favorite sweater at your place last time i went to visit you. you know, the blue one?... i think you know. not that i want it back, you can keep it if you like it. i know you look cute in it... that's beside the point. i'll tell the taxi driver your address, let me know if you don't want me coming over. see you soon."

paul aron

"some kids are building a snow fort down the street. you know, in the park where we had that picnic last summer? one of them has slipped and fallen right onto his butt about ten times now, it's hilarious. i wish you were here to see it, you would've laughed your ass off. *pause*. wish you were here for other reasons, too. but... just one more week, right?"

arthur leclerc

"i may have had a bit too much wine but i needed to call you and tell you what i just realized. you have the prettiest eyes in the world. they are gorgeous. i want to trade eyes, if i have your eyes then i would be able to get any girl – but i still only have eyes for you. haha, get it? because they're your eyes? *pause*. why are you not answering? did you hang up on me? oh, is this voicemail? did you not think i was important enough to pick up the call? even at three in the morning, you should only think about me."

pepe marti

"i know i said i was going to call you tomorrow, but i just realized. i forgot to tell you something. sebastian is throwing a party this weekend- i think it's more of a housewarming-gathering-thing, and i wasn't really feeling like going, but... i would love to introduce you to some of my friends. they're all really nice, i promise you, and if you ever feel even slightly bad, we can leave instantly. i just want to show you off, i guess? everyone would be so jealous- i didn't mean it like that, i made it sound like- i'm sorry. just please, come with me. it would mean the world to me."

clement novalak

"i went by that bookshop i know you like. the cute little one near the subway station, right by the park? and i... i had some time to spare, so i went in. just to look around at first, but then i wanted to ask the woman who works there if they have that book you were talking about. but i just couldn't remember the name of it, so i tried to explain it to her based on what you told me weeks ago, but i was just rambling... but i think she managed to find the right one. hopefully. and when we went to pay, she asked if she should wrap it and i said 'sure', but when she asked who it was to, i froze... so the wrapping has little hearts on it, i hope that's okay. i'll see you tonight, right? can't wait."

[russo-woso]

How could you? Part 2

If you haven’t read part 1, I’d suggest reading it first. It might make it a bit clearer.

Summary Alessia breaks your heart, but luckily Leah is there to fix it.

It had been years since you last spoke to Alessia.

You’d seen her since, of course.

I mean, with you playing for Chelsea, playing Arsenal was a big match.

But since the divorce, the matches got even more climatic.

Both teams got even more aggressive, your teammates wanting revenge on Alessia for what they did to you, and Alessia’s teammates getting back at your own.

The pitch turned into a boxing ring when it was blue vs red.

But at the same time, you hated playing Arsenal because you had to play against your ex-wife and your current fiancé.

Your current fiancé, Arsenal’s own, Leah Williamson.

You didn’t seem to leave the house after the divorce, only leaving for things you had to, such as training and matches, but when you were invited to a charity event, there was no way you could say no.

And you were glad you didn’t because you met the love of your life that night.

You were aware that other footballers had been invited but you weren’t aware that Arsenal royalty had been invited.

You remember that night so clearly, you don’t think you’ll ever forget it.

After walking the red carpet, you found your assigned seat, next to Leah.

“Oh no, not you. I’m allergic to Chelsea players. I’m gonna die.” Leah exaggerated, clearly joking.

You rolled your eyes at her before responding, “Oh so dramatic. Why are you here as a footballer? You should be with all the actors, Williamson.”

“Yeah and you should be at church praying that we don’t batter you in two weeks.”

“Oh, really? I don’t think it’s me that should be praying.” You said back, a genuine smile resting on your face.

“You look good in red. You should switch to the right side of London.” Leah pointed out, changing the subject. You were wearing a red dress whereas Leah was wearing a suit that hugged her figure.

“Thank you, but I’m a blue through and through and anyway, I wouldn’t go to arsenal. Not when she still plays there. But you look good too.”

“I’m sorry about what happened with Alessia.” Leah apologised, her eyes softened as she rested a hand on your back.

“You don’t have to say sorry. You have a past and a future for a reason. She’s my past, I’m just looking for a future now.” You explained to Leah

“Although you’re a blue, You deserve someone who can make you happy.”

“Hmm, have someone in mind?”

“Maybe.” Leah sent a smirk over to you and a blush took over your cheeks.

The night carried on, flirtatious comments and touches from both of you.

It was safe to say that you didn’t end up in your own bed that night.

From that night onwards, Alessia was your past and Leah was your future.

And when you saw Leah more and more, you slowly forgot about Alessia.

Memories you made with Alessia got replaced with memories made with Leah.

The best memory happened two years after the charity event.

Leah took you to Greece on holiday and on the final night, she got down on one knee and made you hers.

————————

“My girls going to England camp today.” Leah mumbled into your temple before pressing a kiss there.

Your eyes flutters open and you smiled at the sight of Leah cuddling you.

You had received your first England call up from Sarina for the international friendliest coming up.

You had worked so hard over the past couple of months that you knew it wouldn’t go unnoticed.

Leah was by your side as soon as your phone rang.

You got off the phone from Sarina and Leah tackled you into a hug, placing kisses all over your face.

To say she was proud was an understatement.

“I’m nervous about it, Le.” You admitted to her, tears welling in your eyes.

“Why you nervous, pretty girl?” Leah looked at you, concern written on her face. She stroked loose hair out of your face and placed a kiss on your cheek.

“I’m scared I won’t be good enough. And seeing less again. I’ll be playing with her this time.” You admitted and Leah cradled you in her arms.

“My girl, you have nothing to worry about. You are such a good player. You’ve scored 9 goals for the c word this season and we’re only half way through the season. And you don’t have to worry about Alessia. You’ll be okay, I’ll make sure of it.”

“Thanks, baby.”

“Time to get up?” Leah asked and you replied by cuddling into her chest even more. “I’m taking that as a no.”

————————

As captain, Leah had an advantage when it came to rooming people together.

Normally, couples weren’t allowed to room with each other, but Leah made sure that you and her were together.

You and Leah unpacked your things before heading down to the lobby, hand in hand.

“Here’s the love birds. How have you been Y/N? How’s Leah been treating you?” Kiera asked, pulling you in for a hug.

“I’m great, thanks, kie. Leah’s been incredible, like always. How are you? How’s the Spanish weather been treating you?”

“It’s amazing. You can move there, I can put in a good word for you.” Lucy offered, joining the conversation, but Leah was quick to refuse it for you.

“As much as I hate seeing her play in blue, she’s not moving away from me. She’s staying in London.”

“I’ll never move away Le. I’ll never leave.” You giggled at her protectiveness.

“I’ll never leave either.”

You pressed a kiss to her lips. When you broke apart, you turned to face Kiera and Lucy but when their eyes widened, you followed their gaze and saw her standing there.

“Alessia, hi.” You said, awkwardly, panicking a bit but as soon as you felt Leah’s hands squeezing yours, you calmed down.

“Hi. Do you mind if I quickly talk to you? I know you’ve got lots of introductions to do and probably a whole lot of media. And the fact that you probably don’t want to talk to—” Alessia’s voice got quieter the more she rambled on which made a small smile appear on your face. She hadn’t changed at all.

“Less, of course I’ll talk to you.” You said and turned to face Leah, placing a kiss to her cheek. “I won’t be long, baby.”

You followed Alessia round the corner just so you were somewhere a bit more private.

“It’s good to see you, you look good.” Alessia broke the silence that had overtaken you Both.

“Thanks. I am good. How are you?”

“I’m also good. I just…I didn’t want this camp to be awkward between us. I never got the chance to formally apologise. I’m sorry, Y/N. And I know that you’ll probably never forgive me, but I just want to know that you don’t hate me.” Alessia explained her reasons for wanting to talk to you. You could tell she was panicking so you rested a hand on back, gently rubbing it to calm her down.

“Less, I’ll forgive you. I forgave you the day I met Leah. But it doesn’t mean I’ll never forget it. I think me and you, we weren’t meant to be for each other. We got married young. We didn’t have the chance to explore anything. I’ll never forget you and me. You were my first everything so you’ll always have a place in my heart. I could never hate you Alessia. Not even a bit.” You told her, tears starting to stream down her face. “Hey, no crying. It’s all in the past. Come on, say it with me.”

“It’s all in the past.” Alessia and you said together as she let out a laugh and wiped her tears away.

“There we go. Now, no awkwardness between us, okay? You’re my friend, less. If you need someone to talk to, I’m here.”

“Thanks, Y/N/N.” Less smiles and you brought her in for a hug.

“My god, Leah’s scary when she stares into your soul.” Alessia announced as she looked past you and saw Leah starting at the encounter.

You turned around and sent Leah a look, her face immediately softening and a smile was sent your way.

“You broke Leah, you know. Everyone says it. One day she was this woman who always frowned. It’s like she had a curse on her, and then she comes into training and she all smiles. You broke the curse.” Alessia said, and you smiled at Leah who was catching up with Georgia.

“She makes me so happy.” You admitted and Alessia smiled at you.

“I’m glad.”

“How’s you and Cooney-Cross?”

“We’re good. I’m planning on proposing to her next month.” Alessia revealed and you hugged her once more.

“That’s amazing, less. See, this is why we weren’t meant for each other. We both had other people out there for us. Leah’s my happy ever after, and Kyra’s yours. I never thought these words would leave my mouth, but I’m happy for you lessi. I wish you, and Cooney-Cross all the best.”

“Thank you so much, Y/N. I wish you and Leah all the best too. You deserve someone who treats you with respect and gives you all the happiness in the world. I’m just sorry I didn’t.” Alessia apologised again and you nodded your head, accepting the apology.

“Right, enough apologies. Let’s start fresh. Hi, I’m Y/N, nice to meet you.” You put your hand out and Alessia giggled before shaking it.

“Hi Y/N, I’m Alessia.”

“Nice to meet you, Alessia.”

————————

“How did the conversation with less go?” Leah asked as you laid your head on her chest.

It had been such a hectic afternoon full of introductions, that you didn’t get to catch Leah up on the conversation.

“It’s went perfect. Better than perfect. She apologised, about a million times, I told her that I’d forgiven her. I mean, I did as soon as I saw you at that event. We got talking about you and Kyra. We both agreed that you’re our futures. And we introduced ourselves all over again, as if we’d never met each other before. Alessia will always be my past, you will always be my present and my future.” You explained to Leah and she pressed a kiss to your head.

“I love you so much, pretty girl.”

“I love you too, le.”

————————

“…You are my present and my future, Leah. I love you so much.” You finished, tears flowing down your cheeks as you stared into Leah’s eyes.

“I may now present you wives. You may kiss the bride.”

Leah leaned in and connected your lips.

The memories built up over the years playing in your head.

When you first met Leah, your first date, your first kiss, when you were able to call Leah’s house yours, when she was down on one knee, and now, when you broke apart from the kiss and Leah knelt down and kissed your stomach.

All your family and friends cheered.

It was your first time announcing the pregnancy.

You wanted to wait until you were 12 weeks, and it just so happened that it fell on your wedding day.

Leah stood back up, a massive smile on her face, and connected your lips once again.

“My future.” You whispered against Leah’s lips, a hand on your small bump, and an identical smile taking over your face.

“I love you, my girl, and my prince or princess.”

[hatsukeii]

hey girllllll i’m here at ur cafe cause exams have been kicking my ass… i need a comfort drink RN !! can i get an oolong tea with pumps 19 and 20 from the sugar free menu :) ive been EYEING that customer in the corner right there.. yeah the blonde haired red eyed one— he’s called bakugou you say? fuckkk, set me up pls, sister? 😁😁

ps. good luck for ur exams hattsun! we can do this :p

hello hello:)) thank you for the wishes and good luck on your exams too!! i've got your order up! (why! would you put yourself through extra bitter tea!)

to kill a god / prohero!katsuki bakugou x reader

ingredient(s): angst<3 (you asked for it baby), pro hero katsuki x terminal patient reader, soulmates to dead idk, major death! major character death! anguish! pain! just straight up agony tbh

disclaimer(s): terminal illnes + major character death warning!! also like i think i used a hc that pro heros don't reveal their names to the public idk why, scarce use of y/n like once or twice, ending is! a little rushed but i hope it hits anyways, they are the embodiment of "are they lovers?" "no, worse" so...

wc: ~3.0k

drink profile: absolute defiance, hospital walls, luck and chance

Katsuki Bakugou, at six years old, declares that he wants to live forever. He wants to blow villains up for the rest of time, expend the nitroglycerin in his sweat glands until the world ends one day and everything is reduced to atoms. He lives out his childhood with his chest puffed out, like he cannot- no, will not die.

Even as his limbs weigh heavy on his teenage body, and he can feel himself hit concrete ground as whips of black shoot through his torso, he tells himself he is not dying. He's not fucking dying, because he has lived and fought like a god.

By the time he graduates from UA, Katsuki is certain that he has to, one day, meet his end. He pretends like he can live forever anyways.

When Katsuki meets you for the first time, it is in a hospital courtyard on a sweltering July afternoon. Hours of greeting and running around with children finds him sitting on a bench, away from the commotion that is contained within the hospital white walls of the pediatric sectors. His skin boils beneath his suit, and he tries to wipe his sweat-slicked forehead with a gloved hand. From beside him, a paper towel appears beneath his nose, slipped between an index and middle finger. Katsuki stares at your palm, eyes travelling to the IV drip inserted into your wrist. When he looks up, he isn't sure how you've gone unnoticed for so long, with your IV pole by your side, donned in a sterile blue hospital gown. You look not a day over twenty.

"Dynamight." Your voice comes out as more of a croak than a youthful chirp.

The towel is swiped into Katsuki's hands swiftly, before he pats at his forehead. "Yes?"

"Are you afraid of dying?"

He scoffs, slipping the dampened towel into his pocket. How absurd. Dynamight? Afraid of dying? Do you think he fights because he's scared of dying? Turning to you, Katsuki comes to realise that you might be dead serious, dull eyes boring into his skull. He could see nothing behind them. The IV drips, and drips, and drips. You stare. He isn't sure what to tell you.

"Hell no. But I don't wanna die." He leans into the hardwood bench, spreads his legs a little further apart. He doesn't know that he's lying, even when his stomach stirs and the wooden bench begins to cool, and coarsen into concrete ground and blood. He should look away before it all feels too real again, but you're looking at him like a child, twenty years too old, searching for answers in the face of what power means in this world. Katsuki hates it.

"Of course not. You're a hero after all. All the power in the world."

You stand, and leave him sitting there alone. That night, pro hero Dynamight waits for backup at a villain sighting for the first time.

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

Katsuki Bakugou promises to give you a taste of power when he meets you a second time at the same hospital, the next week.

He's not sure how his patrol shift has brought him here again, but he never got to stand up for himself. It's not his fault he's a hero, not his fault that he enjoys power in the spark of his palms, or that he isn't afraid of dying because he's clawed his way out of it so many times. But he knows what it's like, he says, standing by your bed. Knows what it's like to never die, even when everything is pushing him to. That's power, he tells you, absolute defiance. And you're sitting in a hospital bed surrounded by two palliative care workers who have to shoot you up with anaesthetics every four hours. So he leans down close, so close that he can sense the wariness coming from your stony eyes, see the hairs on your skin stand helplessly, and he frowns.

"D'you think you're weak?" His question is uttered to a husk of a human, who needs the wall to keep them upright. You wince painfully in response, unsure of what he wants to hear from your chapped lips. One of the workers doses you with anaesthesia, and you pinch your eyes shut. It still hurts, even after all this time.

"I'm just waiting to die, call that what you want. Weak, sure." You swallow at the thought, because you're fucking terrified. Katsuki takes it that you are scared of him.

"You're just fuckin'... waiting to die?" Vermillion eyes squint in disbelief, and you swallow again, this time at his question instead. He hates spineless quitters. He hates them more than he can imagine. Some part buried deep inside him wants to refuse death on your behalf, because he detests nothing more than the notion of going out helplessly, bound at the mercy of a hospital bed and anaesthesia. There has to be someone out ther with a quirk that can save you, and Katsuki isn't sure why but he's hellbent on finding them. Call it civil service. A hero's duty to save.

"If you're going to come here, Dynamight, at least make this easier for me, and don't act like I asked for it."

Right, Dynamight. That's what people call him, and you are no different, so he's not sure why he expected otherwise. When one of the two palliative workers approaches you with a syringe, Katsuki doesn't think he can bear the sight of another dose of chemicals worming its way into your veins. You're just another chickenshit defeatist, poisoning themselves in a hospital room.

He turns on his heels, and leaves while you hiss in pain.

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

No one at the hospital is quite sure of what is going on between pro hero Dynamight, and a terminal patient. They watch him return, week after week, sometimes consecutive days in a row. When he steps through the automatic doors, he shoots every single worker that passes by him a curt nod, then hikes up the stairs to room 203. The only people in the room would be two palliative care workers and yourself, and the rest of the hospital staff is sure he's brokered a deal with the two workers to never let a single word out of 203.

Nobody else ever enters 203 while Dynamight is here.

But everybody talks.

They make rumours, pick up on singular words through the sliding door, then say he's grown weak. Soft. Pro hero Dynamight, no longer the first at the scene of a crime. Pro hero Dynamight, falling back from combat on live television. Pro hero Dynamight, visiting a terminal patient, day after day. He must have too much free time on his hands. Maybe he's had enough of hero work. Maybe he's gone mad.

What they conveniently fail to understand, outside the barrier of 203's white door, is that Katsuki Bakugou doesn't know what is going on between himself, and you either. He comes back every day not because he particularly wants to, but because he can't help himself not to. He finds you again, and again, and again, just to listen to you talk about hospital food, or how you've just watched him back down on live television, scrutinised by millions of watchful eyes.

Then, Katsuki asks you how long you have left, to which your answer is always decreasing. A year the first few times, then halved, and by this visit, his seventeenth, you tell him, "three months."

"That's a quarter of what you had five weeks ago."

"Tough luck." You stare at the IV drip in your wrist, watch the liquid seep into your veins through the thin tube.

He wants to promise that he can help you, even though it holds no power. He is not a doctor. Everyone else in this hospital is. But Katsuki Bakugou has almost died about a hundred times, and still he lives, so he thinks he must know something that they don't. Absolute defiance.

"Nothing is luck." He sits on the bedside stool, grinding his foot into the squeaky hospital floor. "It's all a wretched fight."

"Yeah, for you it can be." You laugh dryly, wiggling your wrist and watching as the IV tube sticks up in odd angles. "But luck's all everyone else has got."

A pigeon smashes into the glass window, and drops to the balcony floor outside in a flurry of feathers. One of the palliative care workers leaves to pick the mound of grey from the floor. Katsuki looks away when the other one shoots you up with another dose of anaesthesia. Something hums in the air, inescapable, like the time he woke up in a hospital bound in bandages, circulating oxygen from a new, pumping heart. His hands spark, and for once, he wonders if he just got lucky.

"Let me touch your sparks."

You finally speak again, a hand stretching out weakly to point at the crackles and pops of Katsuki's palm. Gingerly, he extends his gloved palm towards you, careful not to touch the equipment that surrounds your bed. When you take his hand in yours, something twists in his chest, and sparks thud at his suited torso instead. They're weak enough to do little damage, yet as he tries to ignite sparks again, they misfire a second time, scorching the dead pigeon pinched between the palliative care worker's fingers. Katsuki Bakugou has never been afraid before, but he jerks his hand away from you, yanking onto the IV drip and rattling the pole that wobbles at the force. He may as well be quirkless in your wake. Powerless.

"What the fuck was that?"

You shrug. You've always wanted to be a hero, watching their escapades from your bedridden world. You just got unlucky.

"Luck. That's luck. I wanted to become a hero with it."

You would have been a great hero, Katsuki thinks. You should have been a great hero.

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

Katsuki Bakugou doesn't realise that he has never called you by name until his twenty-third visit. He sits by your bed, gives you his hand, lets you do as you please with soft sparks that tickle and prick at your skin, as he has for the past four visits. He's figured that you would smile when they redirect to the spot just between the two of you, like fireworks that stutter and pop into flowers. Some part of him hates to admit it, but he's enjoying this much more than blowing villains up.

"You're getting better. That's the third in a row in the right place."

"All luck."

He swallows thickly, because he hasn't asked the question yet. How could he, when he's giving you exactly what he promised- power? He floats images in his head: IV drips, surgery, growing tumour, operation room, flatlines. They cover your body in a shroud of inevitable dread, and Katsuki would blow them apart if he could. But he's given you his quirk, and you're making fireworks with it.

"Are you scared? Of dying?" The fourth spark hits a mug on a desk across the room. It jolts off, and shatters on the ground. You shrink into the bed, pulling his hand into your chest, and his gut drops. There's a sort of bitter taste that worms into his mouth, but he lets his hand lie flat against your sternum when you push it closer to yourself, and it dissipates. Your chest rises, heavy and slow, like every breath is laboured. When you look up at Katsuki, he isn't angry. His cheeks are rounded, soft eyes watching your fingers around his hand, lips slightly pushed apart by his sudden question. It occurs to you that he might be asking more than just yourself that.

"What does it matter to me?"

"Should I be?"

He stares back at you, and you freeze. Pro hero Dynamight faces death head on every day like it's nothing, but some sick part of you wants him to be afraid too. It will take three weeks to catch you, maybe a few more decades until it chases his tail, but death finds everyone eventually, and that should be terrifying.

"You can choose. Do you want to be scared?"

He should defy this, just like he has so many times before. Dynamight has a fake heart, fake name, fake recklessness, it's all fucking bravado. Katsuki's been tasting blood in his mouth every night since his old heart stopped pumping at sixteen years old, his bed is bloodstained concrete ground when he wakes up in a cold sweat. He can choose, but can you do the same? And even if he did not have to choose, if he could be immortal, would he still pick a side? What good is being a god, if he can only live to watch death take you from above? 

Your hair covers your face, your fingers ghost across his gloved ones, and he swallows the question of how long you really have left. 

"What's your name?"

"Y/n."

He holds his breath, letting it out only to utter, "Katsuki." You hold his hand a little tighter in yours.

"I wouldn't be scared if I knew I could move on from this." 

"Don't use me to make your choice. You have to move on from this. And you have to be okay with that."

At thirteen years old, Katsuki Bakugou is publicly asphyxiated for approximately one minute and twenty seconds, until Izuku Midoriya arrives on the scene, trying to wrench him out. At sixteen years old, he is pronounced dead in battle, until Edgeshot turns himself into his new heart. It has never been about defiance, and always about people being in the right place, at the right time. His life has been dangling from the promise of luck since the day he was born with a quirk that lets him pretend to be a god. So no, maybe he shouldn’t let somebody else make this choice for him.

"But I'm still scared, y/n. I'm still so fucking scared."

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

Pro hero Dynamight breaks down on live television one week later, following a close call with a criminal syndicate. Millions of eyes glue to their home televisions, watching him scream profanities into a Juko News microphone outside a hospital. Parents cover their children's ears, angry commentators press backspace on their "dy-no might" comments, 6pm rush hour stops to stare at angry Shibuya billboards, but nobody changes the broadcast.

"You motherfuckers have no idea how fucking lucky you are to be alive! When have you ever, ever! Had to count your fucking days?" Spit shoots from Dynamight's mouth, and they think he's deranged, unhinged. He stands in front of the hospital- your hospital, and forces the retreating cameraman to redirect the lenses at his angry spew.

"Gone soft, weak, no might, quit the shit!" He points at the hospital behind him, right at the window of room 203. If you aren't hearing him from your bed, Katsuki is ready to grab the microphone, and yell it from the balcony for everyone to hear.

"You will never understand what it's like waking up to fucking hospital white day by day. I have seen it, people in there have seen it." He jabs a finger at the camera accusingly. "If you want heroes to die fighting so badly, I suggest that you fuckers try it for yourself."

Turning to 203, Katsuki stops for a moment. Reporters snap photos behind each other, yet nobody says a word. Have you made him soft? Made him weak? Have you killed Dynamight? When he remembers the fireworks between your noses, and the choice he's made for himself, he thinks the opposite.

"I will not apologise for wanting to live. I will not apologise for trying to live. And I will not fucking apologise for being scared of dying. Not when I get to wake up, and choose to be scared."

Katsuki throws the microphone to the ground, and stomps on it, storming into the hospital. Comments flood the broadcast. Coward. Fake. Spineless. Ungrateful. His PR team scrambles to get the footage deleted.

He hikes into 203. To hell with the news outlets, and the reporters, and the spineless keyboard warriors, because he's watching you take your dying breath if that's what it takes for him to move on from you. He slides open the door, and you're bedridden, breathing through an oxygen mask. You smile at him like you've saved him from something you don't know. He smiles back, because you have.

"I'll only move on when you do."

"Two weeks, Katsuki."

▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

When pro hero Dynamight arrives at the hospital again, nine hours have gone by since his public meltdown. He returns to rubble, and dust, and a dozen rescue heros scrambling on their feet at 3am. They say that there's been a gas explosion, that the past few maintainence checks have failed to detect litres of propane seeping into every crevice of the institution, all while flipping through piles of concrete for signs of life. They tell him that more heroes will be here soon, and that he should focus on breaking open larger pieces of debris. As he sends explosion after explosion into deconstructed hospital walls, Katsuki wishes he could pretend to care about the mangled corpses crushed beneath what once was a hospital. He doesn't.

People all look the same when their heads are crushed between asphalt and concrete. Hundreds of IV drips are littered around the wreckage. It has been one hour, and even with backup, they have only found seven survivors. Dynamight cannot save people here, all he can do is blow rubble to bits, hoping to find beneath it one more person whose lungs haven't been crushed already. He is no hero. He couldn't even save one person.

Three hours of searching concludes with twenty-two survivors, all hauled into helicopters and stretchers, and flown away to someplace Katsuki doesn't care to know. Rescue heroes never confirm the death count, and can only give an estiamte of approximately three hundred fatalities, and twenty-two casualties. They never find your body.

Katsuki stands on broken rubble, and he thinks he has been killed again, two weeks too soon, all in the name of misfortune. Tough luck. He swallows his pride, because in the face of death, absolute defiance has never been his vice. As he gapes at this massacre of pure chance, his gloved hands can barely form sparks. How did you ever turn them into fireworks?

barista's note:

hi do you guys still love me<3 double pump of sugar free you were ASKING FOR ITTTTTTTT i do apologise i rushed the ending because i have more requests and i want to get through them but i am physically! incapable of like multitasking on writing like i have to finish one to start one or nothing comes out i fear... i hope the ending hit the vibes right anyways though because idk what i was thinking while writing this i think i was kinda just vomiting onto the page whatever felt right LMFAOOAO

tags: @catsoupki @laughingfcx @wishi-selfships @fiannee @chuuya-brainrot @zzwon @akaakeis @hiraethwa @bakery-anon @wyrcan @bailey-reeds @hiraethwrote @kuroppiii @kongkhoi @staraxiaa

[tremendouscreationperson]

Logan x Reader pt.4

So some of y'all are gonna not like this part but it's necessary 🤌🏻 hope it's okay I wrote it whilst bleaching/dying my hair 🤣🤣

I have also put some very rough sketches of the X-Men I did on holiday so you can get the vibes on the super suit/costume

<< Part 3 Part 5 >> Masterlist

He was gone, you waited for a moment just in case, but no, he was gone. It was okay, you'd had more time with him than you'd thought possible. The hours were a blessing.

“He isn't going to come back.” Cassandra spoke to your right. “You missed your chance.” She matched over to Pyro and slapped him awake.

You shook your head, she was right. Why were you just staring into space? You had to get a move on.

Quickly picking up Laura's discarded backpack - now full to the brim with Deadpool comics - you moved past them. Better to leave when she's distracted, if you hung on any longer she might remember you all came here to bargain with/kill her.

You looked down from the socket, drained. Using your powers was mentally taxing and, without the help of adrenaline, you didn't know if you could even make yourself a disc to descend. Instead you skidded downwards, holding the skull to climb and landed on your feet. The texture was like bricks. Was that really how a skull felt?

You swivelled to see your family. Laura sprinted as soon as her eyes landed on you, crushing you in a hug. “You stayed.”

“Of course I did.” Your arms held her tighter. “I’d have missed you all too much.”

She pulled back from the hug only to gaze into your eyes with her own glassy ones. “We couldn't see who jumped, did they make it? I thought you'd been eaten.”

“No, I'm here.” You assured her with a teary smile. "They did make it. They're gone."

She quickly burrowed back into your neck as you noticed El make her way towards you both and joined the hug. “That was intense.”

Gambit was next picking you all up as he squeezed tight. “Le’s never do tha’ again.”

Blade had hung back but Laura extended her hand to him and gestured until he held it. He wasn't one for ‘lovey dovey’ displays but he did love you all. He never thought it possible, not after he landed in the Void, but here he was. Clutching Laura's hand and thanking any deity that would listen.

“We better go.” Blade instructed. “Let's see if they got any wheels we can borrow.”

They did in fact have some wheels you could borrow. The five of you all sat in a beaten down Ghost Rider vehicle. It was an old fashioned Chevy and the boot space was perfect for the looted goods you all scrambled to swipe under Cassandra’s nose.

The drive back was strange. Obviously you were no longer in the boot with Logan but even if he was here you'd thought it was odd. You all survived.

There were no casualties.

Not that you were complaining, gosh no, but you were feeling a sense of unease. As though it had all been too easy.

Laura sat between you and Gambit, holding one hand from each of you as she dozed. Blade was driving and El sharpened her sais.

This was so ordinary. Well, your version of ordinary. But seeing actual civilization had thrown you. Because no this wasn't ordinary. This was fucking batshit.

You took a breath and tried to calm the fuck down because yes this was crazy and it wasn't what life should be but it was what it was.

You had to make peace with it.

You'd let Logan and Wade leap into a real life.

If they came back good. If they didn't… well, you were fine with it.

~~

A week later, once word had gotten out that Cassandra Nova had left, the Void seemed calmer. There were less riots - still a large amount - and people seemed to go it alone more. There wasn't the threat of ‘join or die’ so people made peace with scavenging and surviving.

Your group had still tried to help if people needed it but you mostly stayed out of sight. Without a ‘big bad’ to fight there was no longer an ultimate goal which was good but at the same time it made life boring.

You were playing a game of Uno, having found it in a rotting classroom, when an orange rectangle opened behind you. The others were quick to draw their weapons and you craned your neck to see a woman step out.

She had an air of authority with a kind face.

“Y/N L/N, Laura Kinney, Remy Lebeau, Eric Brooks, Elektra Natchios, I am B-15.” She informed you with a pleasant smile. The fact that her name was a letter and a number wasn't lost on you but you were still reeling over the fact that you're fairly sure Blade was called Eric. “I oversee the TVA and we are here on business.”

“TVA?” Gambit raised an eyebrow, lowering his powered up deck.

“The Time Variant Authority. We are the overseers of timelines. Our job is to watch them, nurture them, keep them safe.”

Elektra straightened but didn't hide her weapons. “If you 'oversee our timelines', why are we here?” Her tone was accusatory.

B-15 looked a little embarrassed. “One of our managers, Paradox, had accelerated the time frame on your dying timelines. He is the reason you are here. I am sorry for that but I am here to make amends, we have been in discussions with Wade Wilson and Logan Howlett about your recovery.”

Well, fuck me, he was coming back. You'd practically lost hope after the third day.

“Dying timelines?” Elektra's eyes flickered to Gambit. She knew he didn't remember a time before being here like the rest of you did.

“Timelines, like many organic things do, decay and die. Sometimes it is natural, sometimes it is fabricated and sometimes their 'Anchor Being' dies and they slowly rot.”

“But our timelines, our universes, are dead?” Blade questioned.

“Yes. But we can house you in another. We need to go through the proper paperwork and screenings but I do believe you can all be happy there.”

“People we knew-” You started. “Our friends- I've seen multiple versions of the same person. Our friends won't know us?”

“I can safely say in this universe there is no version of each of you. You would be entering as yourself and, yes, you will have to create friendships and relationships again but I'm sure each of you is up to the task.”

The feeling that this was too good to be true crept up your spine again. “What's the catch?”

“There isn't a catch.” She clasped her hands. “You don't have to come, it's an offer but I won't ask twice.”

The room that had previously been full of laughter and frustrated yelling was now dead silent, each of you considering her words.

“Do you want to go?” You asked Laura.

Her face betrayed no emotions. “I will if you want to.”

“It might be very different then this, then what you grew up with. You might not like it.” You didn't want to steer her any way but you wanted her to be sure.

“As long as we're together.” Her eyes flashed around the table.

El nodded. “I'm game.”

“Are there blood suckers in that world?” Blade asked B-15.

“There are Vampires, yes. There are also a few Lycans.”

That baffled you. No fucking way was there Vampires. “Then I'm ready to kick some Vamp ass.”

“I dunno.” Gambit shook his head. “I feel like I wa’ born ‘ere. Wha’ if there no room for me there?”

“Of course there's room.” El placed a hand on his shoulder. “Don't stay here, this place is horrid.”

He gave an uneasy look but did eventually nod.

“Right.” B-15 smiled. “Let's go.”

She gave you five minutes to collect your things and meet her at the rectangle. It was a little sad to realise five years worth of memories could be boiled down to a water bottle, Uno cards, a few knives, some art you and the girls created and your photo of you and your husband.

There was no point taking your clothes, they were tattered and stained, you weren't even sure the super suit you currently had on was clean enough for the 'new universe'.

B-15 walked through the portal when you all agreed it was time and Blade followed. Laura and you were next and finally El led Gambit.

You were struck by nostalgia. Walking through from a hot country to an airconned airport slapped you in the face. Memories of your honeymoon dancing across your mind. Was this wrong?

Was being with him insulting his memory?

You scanned the room. It was a tacky beige corridor with a set of brown doors, each door had a friendly face waiting with a clipboard.

“Right, so this is the boring part.” B-15 tried to joke. “I will need you all to partner up and answer some questions.”

“Wait’re minute.” Gambit ceased Elektra’s movements. “Wha’ if they kill us?”

“We won't kill you.” B-15 made a face.

“You are separating us.” El folded her arms.

B-15 sighed and plastered the professional smile back on. “If we wanted you dead we would've left you in the Void. This is part of the process, unfortunately it involves asking a lot of questions and to save time we thought to free up some extra agents, who are all very busy, mind you.”

Laura was the first to move, she gave a curt nod, pulled her backpack tighter against her spine and strode right to the end of the corridor. The lady she met was small and unassuming but she greeted Laura with a friendly hello.

You were next, always following after her, and found yourself beside a man. He was tall and waved awkwardly.

The man led you into what was clearly an interrogation room. There was a definitely double sided mirror on the wall reflecting the dark oak table and chairs that sat directly in the centre.

“Right,” the man said, taking a seat. “I am here to fill you in on this universe and fill out this questionnaire to determine whether or not you are fit to join it.”

You eyed his clipboard. “How long will this take?”

“Time works differently in the TVA.” He shrugged and began the explanation, which felt as though it lasted three whole days.

This universe was much the same as yours except the X-Men hadn't picked you up. There was a Jean and a Charles and a Rogue, etc however their version of Logan died which was beginning to kill off the timeline. Paradox had offered Wade the opportunity to hop over and he learnt the truth causing everything that had happened to happen. In order to secure all five of your places the TVA had to create some ‘micro-adjustments’ to certain parts of this universe. This was completely new territory so it did take some time to set up events and try to create anchor spots.

The X-Men were formed however they were now operational in the year 2024 and they worked side by side with the Avengers. There were many names and many dates and many places that Y-23 told you and you could barely catch up.

“So there's Avengers and Guardians and X-Men and there's still villains? Isn't it overkill?” You finished your lemonade, placing the plastic cup on the table by your messy notepad. You'd created a mini conspiracy board, trying to piece together all the information he was throwing at you.

“There are more heroes than you could ever imagine but that just brings the threat of violence higher.” He shrugged.

“And B-15 said that there were Vampires and Lycans.”

“In a world full of Mutants are you really surprised?”

“But a mutation is different from a species of Vampire, no?”

Y-23 thought about it but shook his head. “No it isn't. It's simple evolution.”

This was starting to feel like a Charles Xavier lecture.

“This universe isn't a part of what was once called the Sacred Timeline, this is a wild, thriving, new and exciting thing. This has never been done before.” He tried to reassure you.

"Meaning it's an experiment.” You muttered. “I'm game for it, I'm just scared.”

“Well, you have answered all of my questions swimmingly.” He gave you two thumbs up.

“You haven't asked any questions.”

“The questions are more for me than for you.”

This was starting to feel like a really bad idea. “I'm confused.”

“Don't be, the next step is wardrobe. Can't have you going to a new universe in…" He looked you up and down. "..that.”

~~

You stepped out of the tailors with a spring in your step. They had provided actual clothes but being in a brand new suit was bliss. They'd even provided weapons! The suit was beautiful. It was mainly purple, with a purple ‘x’ on your chest on top of black fabric. The black fabric was angular, causing a triangle shape underneath the ‘x’ and then carrying on down from your armpits to your ankles. The purple was on the front and the back connecting from your chest via the ‘x’ to your shoulders. Your spine had a delicately placed holster for two knives.

This was quite possibly the most powerful you had felt, despite being unable to actually conjure your forcefields. Y-23 had told you there was no magic in the TVA and that got you both into a large debate on whether or not you had magic. You were a mutant, you weren't magic! Gambit toed the line between mutant and magic better than anyone so you wondered how he was doing.

El and Blade were in the main room you were being led to. The room consisted of more brown furniture - desks and chairs - but had many old-school TVs on the far wall. Each screen held either a series of lines or a person. You were quick to zero in on Iron-Man, his iconic suit was blasting at several enemies. He was one of the biggest heroes in your world and the most recognised. You literally couldn't imagine Tony in another suit, another mask. He wouldn't look right even in a different colour, say green for example.

“That's Punisher.” El pointed to a gruff man, with a dusty white skull on his chest. He was mean looking but you had the feeling he was probably good as gold when needed.

“Whistler.” Blade nodded to another gruff man. He was older and definitely played by his own rules.

You watched the row of moving heroes. “So we have to just drop in and say hi, we know you in another universe?”

“H-1 told me I would say what I wanted.” El gave you a confused shrug. “that doesn't exactly clarify anything, what if I tell Matt and Frank and they don't- what if that means they don't want anything to do with me?”

“Precisely.” Blade agreed as Gambit walked into the room. “I will need Whistler's help. I can't fuck that up.”

“A’least I can' destroy wha’ weren't there.” Gambit smugly grinned, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “We all look ‘mazing by’t’way.”

Yes. You all did. Blade was wearing all black. A protective vest on top of a long sleeve and leather trousers. His outfit was swallowed by his leather coat. Weapons were under and over the coat, you could see all sorts of knives and daggers and even a crucifix dangled from his belt. He had a new pair of sunglasses, which he seemed very pleased about.

Elektra was wearing a bright red outfit, you assumed her Void outfit started off as this colour but she stained it to be safer. Her chest was now unexposed and she had gloves on. Her trousers were still there but on top she had an overlaying split skirt. The material was softer than the bodysuit, it matched the scarf which covered the lower part of her face.

Gambit looked much the same. His outfit was perfect. The only thing different about this one was there were no knicks and dents. He also wielded a staff.

Laura was yet to show her face. Something that didn't worry you but didn't not worry you.

“So where are we living?” You questioned. “I used to live in the X-Mansion but Y-23 said Charles was around but he now operates in 2024. So in my head he must be very different.”

“It seems like that's true for all our friends.” Blade’s eyes hadn't left the screens.

Gambit strode to the screens and gazed intently at each person. “Surely, they couldn' be too different. If it's the same person an’all.”

“Different circumstances, different upbringings.” El countered.

“That's Magneto.” You pointed to Erik. He was talking to Charles, drinking a cup of tea. It was infuriating because they were this civilised as enemies so you couldn't even tell if they were friends. “He was a concentration camp survivor. If he's about now, did that happen? Is he evil?”

“He looks pretty friendly with Charles.” Elektra cocked her head.

“They always were.” You huffed. “This will be really difficult won't it?”

Blade’s head swivelled in your direction. “Adjusting always is.”

Fuck how was he just effortless cool?

The door reopened, B-15 and Laura came through. She was gorgeous. They had dressed her in a yellow suit, with black trim much like yours. The suit had gloves and shoes which had special slots for her claws. But the icing on the cake was her cowl. She wore the famous Wolverine cowl and she looked glorious.

“Woah!” Gambit cheered. “You look li’ him!”

She did. She really looked like Logan.

“You look amazing, sweetie.” El grinned wide as Laura held one elbow in embarrassment.

“Thank you.” She wore a shy smile.

Blade clapped her back and couldn't help but nod.

“I can't believe it. You really- you look like- you look good.” You stuttered through the sentence.

She, thankfully, waved you off and turned to the screens. “Who are they?”

“Heroes in the 'new universe'.” Blade smirked. “They'll need our help.”

B-15 cleared her throat and you all looked over. She was standing in front of a freshly opened ‘timedoor’. “This is it.” She stepped to the right. “Through here is a collection of Earth's Mightiest Heroes. They will greet and assess you.”

Oh great, more assessment.

Laura, again, was the first of you to make a move. She confidently marched through the door, ready for this to be over with.

El was next, followed by Gambit, Blade and finally you.

You entered a white room. It was grand and outlandishly ‘modern’ - sparse. There were walls that were made entirely by window planes and the sunlight shone warmly. There was a silver, angular table and six beings were seated at it.

These were the ‘illuminati’. Y-23 had explained that a member of each super team created the illuminati, an omnipotent organisation. They controlled the world.

Iron-Man was there, creasing a ridiculously expensive suit, as well as Doctor Strange - the Sorcerer Supreme - Mr Fantastic - the smartest man alive - Namor - the King of Atlantis - Blackbolt - the Ruler of Attilan - and… oh my god. That was Charles!

The negotiation wasn't long. Charles took a look into each of your minds and declared that you and B-15 were all telling the truth. Then they revealed a set of apartments that they had brought for you to settle into normality in. You were allowed to leave them once you had settled and you had to come back every month for therapy "monitoring".

Stark handed you all a bank card and told you there was a limit to them. They also informed you that if you were needed to defend Earth they would call upon you.

Blade was under extra surveillance as he was a Daywalker. Reed had been able to recreate Whistler's serum to suppress the bloodlust but they were still taking precautions.

Doctor Strange placed a spell on each of you to track your whereabouts but other than that they let you go.

“The idiots are outside.” Stark used a thumb to point over his shoulder. Blackbolt smiled, his shoulders shaking in a silent chuckle.

“They haven't stopped pestering.” Namor rolled his eyes. “You must be integral.”

“We are just ourselves. We were cursed to live in that Void for years, for no apparent reason other than a cocky bastard's ego.” Elektra held her head high, watching the men she addressed like a hawk.

Charles adjusted his chair and gave you a sincere grin. “You may venture out, we do hope you find solace here.”

.

Part 5

.

@geeksareunique @lovelyvaderx @melissa-ashe @st1nkabutt @maximumchilddreamland @ravenmedows @vulgarfuckinvirgo77

.

The sketches, be kind pls

[diabolikangel158]

Plane Rides with Hazbin Hotel Characters

Drabbles with multiple characters: Flying in an airplane with various characters from Hazbin Hotel and you ask to kiss them (I don’t know if they fly in hell, but for scenario purposes, we’re gonna pretend they do. What’s the worst that can happen? They die? LOL). Includes the Vees, Alastor, Lucifer, Charlie, and Angel Dust.

Warnings: Reader written either as female or no pronouns mentioned. Suggestive themes in some of the characters’ stories, tooth-rotting fluff in others’.

Vox: 

Vox sits next to you typing away on his VoxTek laptop. You give him a sidelong glance. This is supposed to be a vacation. You take a small sip of your soda and sigh. 

Vox gives a sigh in return. “What is it?” 

You shrug in pretend nonchalance. “It’s just… well, we’re supposed to be on vacation…and you’re still…well, you're still working, Voxy.” 

He grumbles and rolls his eyes, turning to look at you. “I run a whole technological empire, Y/n. I can’t just leave it for two weeks unsupervised. Who knows what would happen with Val and Vel being the only ones there to run the Vee’s.” He states in a factual manner while continuing to type away at whatever document or email he was currently working on. 

You look away, mumbling a slightly annoyed, “Right…”

Vox glances back up at you. “You're frustrated with me, aren’t you.” He says it more like a statement, not a question. 

You shrug again. “Depends. Can I kiss you?”

Vox looks at you with a pause, seeming to consider your request. He starts to smirk. “Such a needy girl, hm? I suppose it’s fine, it’s a long flight after all.” You smile at him, leaning to kiss him gently on his cheek before pulling away. “That’s all you wanted, to give me a little kiss on the cheek?”

You give him a fake pout. “Well, I thought that was all I was allowed… since you’re so busy and all…” 

His smirk widens. “You’re such a princess, needing my attention all the time.” 

You give a smirk of your own in return. “Can’t help it, I’m spoiled like one after all.” You pause for a moment before asking, “Can I have more?” 

Vox leans a bit closer to you. “Depends… beg for it.” 

You feel more courageous than usual on this flight, “I can beg better if we go to the bathroom.” 

His eyes widen slightly at your words, not used to you being so forward. His expression returns to his calm and snarky nature. “You’re lucky there’s no police in Hell, doll, or you’d get us both arrested.” He grabs your hand, practically dragging you to the bathroom.

Seems like you are able to get Vox to relax on vacation after all. With a little work on your part, of course. 

Velvette:

Velvette lays in a comfortable reclined position, feet up,  face mask in place, and of course, phone in hand. Of course she bought out all the seats around you two, stating that she didn’t want to be “disturbed” during such a long flight. You, on the other hand, sit upright. She might as well be on vacation by herself. You were accustomed to her not really talking much to you during work, but you thought that perhaps being on vacation with her, she would be more open to speaking with you at least. Though it seems, you thought wrong.

You clear your throat. Velvette glances at you for a split second. “Something the matter?” 

“It’s nothing.” You lie. 

Velvette straightens in her chair. “You know I don’t like liars, darling.” 

You stiffen at her words. “Well you…” As you try to find the words, she removes her face mask, tossing it in a little trash that was provided. “You look so… relaxed but… I”

She gives you a slight glare, but she also wears a small smirk; it borders on malicious. “Not giving you enough attention, pet?” She strokes your hair, as though you really were just that: a pet. You can’t help but lean into her touch, though. “Poor thing, we’re on vacation, and here I am neglecting you.” She leans over and presses a soft kiss to your lips and she smiles when she sees a light dusting of color paint your cheeks. “How cute.”

With Velvette, who knows her pet so well, you don’t even need to ask. 

Valentino:

You sat on the plane with Valentino, fiddling with your phone as he carefully decided on which jewels he’d like to use to decorate the new gun he bought. “Amorcito, which of these make this gun look sexier on me?” Val asks you, holding up an emerald and a ruby up next to his face. 

You give him a shy smile and say, “Honestly, anything looks sexy on you, Val.” He grins back at you, but motions his hands again, urging you to pick. “Hm… but I think the rubies really match your aesthetic, babe.”

“Aww… you know me too well, carino.” With that, Valentino goes back to gluing on the jewels. Without warning, you feel your stomach growl. Your eyes widen in surprise. Valentino finishes adjusting one of the red gems on his gun before looking over at you. “Oh, amorcito, why didn’t you tell me you were feeling hungry?” He pouts at you. 

“Oh, I didn’t want to be a bother; I can just eat when we get off the plane!” You say hurriedly. 

“Nonsense.” You feel something inside you cringe, making sure it doesn’t show on your face. Here we go… Valentino angrily waves over a flight attendant. “Hey! Didn’t you hear her stomach growl? She’s starving!” He yells. 

The poor attendant rushes over to see what the commotion is about. “Sir?” 

Val glares at him as you look down between your knees in embarrassment. “Did you not hear me? She’s hungry. Take her order. Now.” Your boyfriend demands. 

“Of course.” There is a nervous shiver in the man’s voice. Poor guy. “What would you like, miss?” 

“Um… I’ll just take a Coke and like…a bag of chips. Thank you.” You mumble out the first, simplest things that came to mind. 

Valentino places a hand on your thigh, shaking his head. His tone is sickeningly sweet in stark comparison to how he has been speaking to the attendant. “No, no amorcito, that’s not a proper meal.” He turns his attention back to the attendant, the harsh anger returning to his voice. “She wants a steak, medium well and a side salad. Oh, yes and we’ll both take a glass of Chardonnay.” The attendant just looks at him, perhaps trying to figure out how to tell Val that they don’t carry that or maybe just in general fear. A beat passes. “Well hurry up, don’t you think you’ve made my princessa wait long enough?” He runs a finger along his gun, the threat plain. 

The demon nods immediately. “Yes of course. So sorry.” He runs off without another word. 

You let out a sigh and Valentino plays with the fat of your thigh. “Only way to get the bitches to fall in line, amoricito.” You only nod in response. Despite yourself, a faint blush rises to your cheeks. He tilts his head with a sly smile. “Naughty girl… you enjoyed that didn’t you?” You only nod, but you knew if you could, you would tell him that sometimes you were just happy that you weren’t the one bearing the brunt of his abuse. 

“Can we kiss?” You ask in a hushed voice. 

Valentino’s hand rises higher up your thigh, brushing against the seam of your panties. His grin is salacious. Valentino leans close into your ear and whispers, “Oh, we can do a lot more than that.” The demon rushes back, careful not to ruin any of the items the two of you– well, Valentino– had ordered. He gently places everything in front of you and Val. Everything looks perfect and you dare to give a smile, thanking the demon softly, words tinged with apology; Val doesn’t even acknowledge him, seeing as something else more… interesting… has captured his attention. The demon just appears relieved to not have to interact with Valentino and quickly takes his leave.

Valentino busies himself with marking up your neck with little love bites. “You best hurry and eat, amorcito. You’ll need your energy for what I have planned for us on this flight.”

You shakily take the knife and fork into your hands and begin to eat and Valentino finally pulls away to take a sip of his drink with one hand, a wicked grin gracing his features. He leaves another one of his hands on your core, the remaining two absent-mindedly returning to toy with the decorations on his gun while you eat.

You shiver, but you know better than to shut your legs. You should also have known better that you wouldn’t just get mere kisses from Valentino of all people. 

Alastor:

You sit comfortably in the well-cushioned seat of first-class with Alastor, the one and only Radio Demon. You notice as other demons walk by, making their way to the back of the plane, that they make all the effort to avoid eye contact with him, and you by association. He sits on the seat near the walkway, and you by the window, something about how it’s safer for you that way. You huff slightly, taking a peek out the window. Being with Alastor had its perks, but making friends or even speaking to people outside of those who lived in the hotel was rather…difficult. Being the Radio Demon’s girlfriend made it quite hard, since everyone was scared off by that simple fact alone. 

Alastor doesn’t seem to mind, and actually appears to revel in the other passengers’ fear of him. Your huff doesn’t go amiss by him, though. He turns to look at you, ever-present Cheshire cat grin on his face. “Is something not to your liking, my dear?” You turn to look at him, shaking your head. He clicks his tongue at you. “Now, now, you know I dislike liars.” He leans over, affectionately squeezing your cheek.

“Well… you know I love you…” Alastor nods, closing his eyes with a smug expression, as if this were an obvious fact. “I just think how sometimes…” 

As you're about to express your feelings, a demon walks by and notices Alastor, stopping dead in his tracks trembling. You offer a shy smile, to which Alastor cranes his neck completely around; if he were normal anyone would have thought he had broken his neck. “Can I help you, my fine fellow?” His eyes light up with radio dials and his voice distorts like it’s on the radio in the middle of switching channels, full static. The poor demon screams an apology before running off to the back of the plane. You regret smiling at him, sighing. Alastor turns his attention back to you, his regular smile back on his face. “You were saying, my dear?”

“Sometimes it’s hard to make new friends because I’m… well I’m with you. They don’t see “Y/n,” they see “The Radio Demon’s Girlfriend.” You know?”

His smile doesn’t falter, but his eyes lose their smile a bit. “I see. Well, darling, there really isn’t much I can do about that. I recall you having made plenty of acquaintances in Cannibal Town, though!” He replies cheerily. 

“Yeah… but even those are kinda weird, because they only like me because I’m with you, Al’.” 

Alastor nods with understanding. “Well, I would never willingly get in the way of you making friendships with other demons, dear. If it is too much, we could always part ways.” He tilts his head, waiting for your reaction.

You sit up suddenly, grabbing his hand. “Of course I don’t want to break up! I just… I was just expressing my feelings. I love you.”

Pleased, Alastor gives you a small smile, one of the less unsettling ones. “And I you, darling.” 

You blush a little at his words, heart filling with genuine affection for a demon most others abhorred. “Alastor can we…?” 

Alastor faces forward in his seat with his Cheshire grin back on his face, continuing to hold your hand. “Absolutely not, haha!” 

You pout. “Please?”

“Patience is a virtue, my dear!” Some radio laughter is heard coming from his microphone. “Wait until we arrive at our destination for such affectionate actions, haha!” Your frown deepens, feeling the rejection of a kiss personally. Alastor leans forward to whisper in your ear. “Be a good girl, and I am sure to make it worth your while. You trust I always keep my end of a deal, yes?” You perk up, nodding in understanding. 

No, Alastor isn’t into public affection, but behind closed doors? Let’s just say, waiting in anticipation sometimes does make the reward at the end all the more enjoyable. 

Lucifer:

You sit quietly next to Lucifer in his jet. Yes, of course, the devil himself has his own private jet with his face plastered on the side of it, so everyone knows that he has one (Charlie definitely face-palmed upon seeing it).  He, however, is anything but quiet. 

He thrusts a stack of pamphlets towards you. “And I think we should explore these rides, too, don’t you think, love? And here!” He holds out another pamphlet. “Of course nothing will compare to Lu Lu World, but it’s worth a shot.” He says with a grin. 

You give him a polite smile, nodding along. It was nice to see him out of his depressed state and somewhere where he could be a bit more relaxed. You flip through one of the many pamphlets. “This is a lot, Luci. I don’t think we’ll have enough time to attend all of these attractions. Perhaps we should just stick to the most popular ones?” You suggest.

Lucifer snaps his head to you. “Oh, very true, love, very true.” He almost looks bashful. “I guess I might have gotten a bit ahead of myself. I just want to make sure we have the best time!” He gives an awkward chuckle, starting to turn away.

You grab him by his shoulders before he can fully turn away. “And we will have the best time!” You gently caress the side of his cheek. “But I don’t need some silly attractions to have a good time. I have you.” Your face lights up with a bright, honest smile; Lucifer can’t help but follow suit, the corners of his own mouth pulling up. A slight blush is noted on his cheeks as well, and you softly pinch at them. 

“You always seem to know just what to say, don’t you?” Lucifer laughs. You gaze at him as he laughs, taking in his features. He catches you staring and smirks. “Uh oh, I think I know what you want, hm?” He says in a knowing tone. 

Now it’s your turn to blush. “I…well… only if you’d want to…” It’s comical how sometimes you seem to mirror his personality at times when your nerves get to you. 

“Of course I want to. I always want to.” Lucifer looks at you lovingly, his expression soft. You lean in close to him, closing your eyes. Lucifer grants your unspoken request, gingerly pressing his lips against yours, trying to get as close as possible to you in the expensive plane seats. Once the two of you part, you bashfully scoot back into your own space and Lucifer does the same. He mumbles something incoherent. 

“Wait, what did you say?” You ask. 

He turns red, all the way up to his ears. “I had… a… bed put up…” He points behind the two of you. “Back there. A bed.” 

You turn red as well at his words. “O-oh… I see. Mile high club then?”

He grins. “Mile high club.” He quickly picks you up bridal-style taking you to said bed. His expression full of excitement and joy disappears when he pokes his head out the private bedroom, looking at one of the demons who are attending his plane. “Don’t let anything interrupt us.” Lucifer then slams the door shut. 

You were right about not needing any attractions to have a good time with Lucifer. In fact, you don’t even need them to experience a nice, exciting ride. 

Charlie:

  You patiently sit in your seat as the rest of the people board the plane. You give a quick glance around the plane looking for your girlfriend. Just where did she go? 

Just as you pull out your phone to try and give her a quick call, a figure comes looming towards you. You tilt your head in confusion, trying to discern just what you were looking at. There seems to be an abundance of snacks: popcorn, crackers, cheese, lunch meat, various kinds of chips, and even chocolate. From behind the huge amount of food, Charlie pokes her head out from behind the pile. “Babe! Look at all these tasty snacks they have on here!” A demon grunts as Charlie accidentally bumps into him. “Oops, sorry! Excuse me! Don’t mind me, just making my way through! Oh… so sorry!” 

Charlies gives a nervous chuckle as she finally sits down next to you. She hands over some of the snacks so that you both have an abundance of items on your laps. “Charlie… Why'd you get so much stuff? No way we’re gonna eat all this!” You give her a small smile, feeling warmth at witnessing yet another of her silly antics. 

“Oh well you know I thought to myself, ‘What if Y/n doesn’t like the food at the resort?’ So we can just have these as back up just in case!” Your smile grows wider as you look at her with adoration. Of course she was thinking about you when doing something as mundane as shopping for snacks to munch on during a short flight. 

You place your hand softly on her knee, looking up at her. A faint blush rises to her cheeks. “Everything okay?” She asks. 

You simply nod, leaning in closer to her. “Can I kiss you?” 

Charlie’s eyes dart around the place nervously. “Right here? Are you sure?” You tilt your head to the side. “Haha…it’s just there’s so many people and–” You interrupt her, pressing your lips softly against hers. “Haha…yeah…” She stares at you as if caught in a daze once you pull away.

You tear open one of the bags of chocolates and pop one into your mouth. You make a noise of content, pouring some into Charlie's hands. “Oh! These taste great, try some!” 

You wonder briefly if anyone else would believe you if you told them that the Princess of Hell gets flustered so easily. 

Angel Dust:

You look at Angel Dust with sympathetic eyes, but you can’t help the small smile that tugs on your lips. He angrily crosses and uncrosses his four arms, then moves to crossing and uncrossing his long legs. He gives you an annoyed groan. “God damn it! I know we’re flying economy, but did they have to make the seats so damn small?!” A light chuckle escapes you, and you quickly cover your mouth. His eyes dart to look at your smaller frame, looking much more comfortable than he could ever hope to be. “Oh, you think it’s funny, huh?” Now, a smirk tugs at his own lips. 

You shake your head fast in response, trying to hold your laughter in. “It’s just…I remember when you were bragging to Charlie and the others at the hotel about—“ You burst into a small fit of giggles. 

“About what?!” He somewhat yells out dramatically, shaking you lightly by the shoulders.

  You mimick his Italian accent effortlessly. “‘I’ve got the legs, I got the stamina, oh hoho I got the legs!’” You take a breath before continuing in your normal voice. “Seems like those assets aren’t really…assett-ing right now, that’s all.” 

Angel Dust’s eyes narrow at you, but for some reason is still smiling. “I see…well alright then. Have it your way.” He lunges the very short distance at you into your seat, using not one, not two, but all four of his hands that he has readily available to tickle your sides. You try to thrust your arms down by your sides to protect yourself, but Angel Dust efficiently uses one pair of hands to pin your own two by your head to the seat, and the other pair to continue tickling you. 

You laugh continuously and loudly, tears coming to your eyes. “A-Angel no! Stop!” You struggle against his arms, but it’s no use. You are at Angel Dust’s mercy. 

“Aw what’s the matter, baby? I thought you loved laughing?” He continues his torture on you with a wide grin, his gold tooth on display. 

“Angel, please! I’m gonna pee myself!” You exclaim. 

Your words fall on deaf ears. “Hm…give me a good reason why?!” He chuckles in a playful-menacing tone. 

You can barely think, but the words come out your lips as smoothly as you are able. “Can I apologize and give you a kiss? And then I’ll apologize some more! Pinky promise!” You feel one of his hands that were holding yours by your head intertwine it’s pinky with your own, securing the oath. Once completed, he releases you, withdrawing into his seat, a smug expression on his face. 

You pause to catch your breath. “Well? I’m waiting.” His voice drips with ego. 

You breathe in one more time, “I’m very sorry I made fun of your long, beautiful, gorgeous legs which I love to have wrapped around me and are a gift to Hell. The real reason they couldn’t send you to heaven was because Hell needed something to add some mmph, and your legs provide just that.” You say breathlessly. He nods his head at every sentence in total agreement, eyes closed and arms crossed. There is a momentary pause and he cracks open one eye to look at you. He takes one hand and rotates his wrist, fingers splayed out. And? 

You refrain from rolling your eyes, though you really wish you could. You lean forwards and softly press your lips against his. A chaste a quick kiss. He opens both his eyes and rolls them. “Ugh, what was that?! C’mon gimme a better one, baby!” 

He leans in forwards again but you hold him off by his shoulder with a laugh. “Nuh uh. I never specified what kind of kiss! I just said kiss, so I held up my end of the bargain just fine.” 

Angel Dust raises one eye brow. “Oh, you wanna tease me, huh? Kinky.” 

You don’t hold back your eye roll this time, slapping his shoulder playfully. You lean over and mess with the controls of his seat. “Here, this should help.” It isn’t much, but it does provide Angel Dust with more room. His eyes widen a bit. He isn’t used to being cared for in such a way, even if it is something that that would be considered a “little” thing. You kiss him again on the side of his cheek, settling into your own seat. “I’m going to try to sleep through the ride, you do your best too, okay?” 

As you shut your eyes to try to sleep, he grabs ahold of your hand in one of his, leaning his head back. He may be one of the most famous porn stars in hell, but sweet little chaste actions like the ones you supply him with are what really gives him pause. The little flutter he feels in his chest when he looks at you can attest to that. 

[jirsungs]

ep 17: i missed you (too)

word count: 3.1k

You join Jisung in the kitchen and when he sees you arrive, he hops off the counter before he can look at your choice of outfit for the evening. 

But when he does, he wishes he could rewind the moment you walked in so he can pay more attention because holy fuck. Those words were the only coherent thing he could pull out of his brain, but he didn’t blame himself for the mental trouble, because seriously, holy fuck.

Lord, he wishes that no one else has seen you in this black strapless midi dress, which he’s 80% sure is from Kukombo, he remembered you and Ning raving about it a couple of weeks back. Your hair perfectly dolled up, just like the first time he saw you, with your pearl necklace layered by your Tiffany & Co. Infinity Pendant necklace sitting pretty on your collarbone.

He recalls you gushing about how much you love layering jewelry pieces together or how complete it makes you feel on the first night you hung out alone. He also remembers you telling him that the Tiffany & Co. necklace you’re wearing now was bought with Renjun’s card after you begged him on your birthday. 

“You look pretty.” Jisung blurts out before his brain can process that those words actually left his mouth.

His compliment makes you smile. “Thank you.”

Should I have said more? Was that not enough? She looks absolutely gorgeous, but if I say that, I might come off desperate and I am not desperate. Wait. Am I?

Pfft, no, of course not.

He shakes out of his mental dilemma when he hears you talk again, “You too—I mean, you look good.”

Despite you seeing him blush in front of you and mumble a “thank you”, his physical appearance did not match. An awkward guy dressed in his black graphic t-shirt and gray denim baggy jeans. To everyone else, he was seen as a stern, quiet dude who stayed close to his friends and played drums weekly, but to you? He was anything but stern or quiet.

“What’s with us always meeting in kitchens?” You try to joke, your horrible attempt to ease the weird tension in the air.

It was a pretty bad joke, if you could even call it one, but at least, you know that there will be someone who laughs at anything you say. And that’s Jisung. “Right? I guess it’s the place where we’re just destined to be together. We first met in Karina’s kitchen, then had our first interaction after Karina’s party in Johnny’s kitchen—”

“One horrible interaction.” You both wince at the immature memory. 

“Yep, it was pretty bad… But now, you’re here with me in Chenle’s kitchen after… ghosting me for two weeks.”

An awkward laugh escapes your mouth, not knowing what to say now that the air suddenly grew uncomfortable. Fortunately for you, Jisung doesn’t notice and is instead embarrassed by himself.

“Sorry, I said kitchen too many times. That was–it sounded weird.”

It’s been two weeks without him and yet somehow, he still holds the power of making it impossible for you to be mad at him. You hate that you always find his awkwardness endearing.

“You’re fine, Ji. In fact, it didn’t sound weird to me at all.” You reassuringly smile, nudging his side.

And that one overused nickname he's heard from multiple different people sounded the prettiest when it came from you. A light switched in him and the next thing you know, Jisung's ranting about Rockway's past gig to Jeno breaking their blender after attempting to make a blueberry banana smoothie for him before their workout at the gym.

Your friends come over once they spot you two in the kitchen corner together, cutting your conversation short. Suddenly, you’re in the arms of Ning and Haechan, engulfing you in a hug while Jisung is kept occupied in conversation with Renjun, Mark, and Jaemin. 

Soon after, your interactions die down with Ning and Haechan accompanying each other to go dance and the three guys who busied Jisung left due to Chenle pulling them away for a game of beer pong. 

Chenle was successful in dragging Jaemin and Renjun while Mark followed suit. But as Mark was about to leave, he stopped to offer Jisung a spot to join, which you encouraged, since Rockway usually boasts about how skilled he is at the game. But he turned down his friend’s offer with a shake of his head. 

You guess Jisung made a signal to the clueless guitarist because Mark says no more, glancing between you and him before letting out an “Ohhh…” He winks at the guy next to you, who you see grow more flustered by the minute, and exits out of the kitchen.

Jisung finally lets go of the breath you didn’t realize he was holding onto for so long and you’re left alone together once more.

The quiet gives Jisung the perfect opportunity to continue catching up with you. You’re not even thirty minutes into the conversation when it gets interrupted again, this time by Yeonjun and Jeno whining about their loss in beer pong. And after multiple pleas from them, they were finally able to pull the beloved drummer boy away from your side.

“I’ll be right back after this, I promise.” Jisung gives you one last pouty look before the guys tug him by the arms. 

“Yeah yeah, don’t get clingy, lover boy.” Yeonjun chirps out as he and Jeno drag him away, the latter following up with a, “We’ll take good care of him, Y/N!”

Your eyes follow the three guys, they join the crowded table that has multiple red solo cups set on either side, and you take notice of how Jisung radiates a whole new light when he’s surrounded by his bandmates, along with your friends. You adored that you all became such a tight-knit group so quickly. It’s nice. Well, sometimes. Haechan and Mark currently screaming over one another is one of the reasons why you say “sometimes.”

“You guys already have Yeonjun! Let us have Jisunggg!” Haechan whines. 

Mark lets out a humorless laugh, “What’re you talking about? Renjun clearly made y’all win last game!”

Your eyes shift over to Jisung, who’s covering his ears at the noise. It makes you laugh under your breath.

Luckily, the argument between Haechan and Mark didn’t last long because the next time you looked over, they were already concentrating on their game. Shotaro, a mutual friend of Rockway’s, was focusing his aim on the cup. 

While Jisung is playing beer pong with the others, you’re left alone, feeling peaceful as you watch the party around you. But to your dismay, your content mood turns sour when you see Jaeyun, your ex-situationship, walk over.

“Y/N alone at a party? That’s a new one.” He snickers, pouring himself a cup of the cheap beer.

You watch him take a sip and scowl. “What are you doing here?” 

“It’s an open-invite party, pretty face. You know I never skip out on these.”

“You’re not even friends with Chenle, or anyone here, for that matter.”

Jaeyun takes another sip of his drink, “Eh, so what? Again,” He lowers himself to directly meet your eyes, “It’s a free party.”

He disgusts you.

Once Jisung takes his turn throwing the small ping-pong ball towards the cup and it lands inside, as expected, his teammates Jeno, Mark, Yeonjun, and Wonbin cheer and hype the drummer up at his performance. 

As Jisung glances between the four guys surrounding him, he sees you accompanied by someone in the background. His friends don’t notice him moving to the back of them as their attention is set on Jeno already being pushed to the front for his turn.

His eyes widen when he realizes who's talking to you. Jaeyun. The one guy you told him about on your first hangout together when he was curious about your past. He’s glad you didn’t hide yourself away from him when he asked because now, he knows that the guy is nothing but a lovebombing asswipe. But what he isn’t so thrilled about is the fact that he shares a class with the guy, let alone the same major. 

You’re uneasy, he can tell. It’s painful to watch. And he’s sure your feeling gets worse once he sees you grow visibly stiff when a girl comes over and kisses Jaeyun on the cheek.

Insecure isn’t typically a word Jisung would use to describe himself. He sometimes becomes doubtful of himself, sure, but insecure isn’t a word that would be in his pile of descriptions. Plus, he knows he's on your mind every second of every day, and that was more than enough assurance for him. 

But Jaeyun intimidated the hell out of him, he knew this, despite being a few months older than him, Jaeyun was bulkier and he was aware that his looks could kill, he guessed that’s how he got you gripped on him at one point in your life. However, that still didn’t stop him from excusing himself from his friends, lying to them that he needed to go to the bathroom.

Surprisingly, his friends paid no attention to his departure with how engrossed they were in their game, making it easier for him to rush to the kitchen. 

You’re too busy tolerating Jaeyun and his next fling’s drained conversation they were having with you, to notice him walk in. That is until you feel a presence beside you and an arm wrapped around your waist, leading you to look up at the culprit and see Jisung. It was new seeing him touch you so comfortably like this, or be possessive either. You weren’t complaining though, it was definitely something you could get used to.

But the said man doesn’t have time to make eye contact with you because all he’s focused on is his main goal here, and that’s for Jaeyun to get out of your goddamn face.

“Sim, you’re not making her uncomfortable, are you?”

What is he doing? You think. Jaeyun letting out a low whistle and opening his obnoxious mouth again doesn’t allow you to dwell on it.

“Wow, Y/N, I didn’t think you were into,” He eyes Jisung up and down unimpressed, “lousy playing drummer boys all that much.”

Oh God.

You feel Jisung’s arm around you tense up, “What did you just say?”

Jaeyun only snickers. You watch Woona, his new fling who you, unfortunately, remember the name of cling onto him tighter. You roll your eyes at the action.

“I mean, as far as I remember, you were better than picking underground losers off the low-paying nightclubs his band plays at.”

You scoff. It was obvious he knew nothing about Jisung, Rockway, or any of their successes, “You’re full of shit, Jaeyun.”

Your ex-situationship couldn’t care less about what you said because once he sees Jisung’s fuming face slightly falter, he knows he got him. So he continues, “Jisung, I’m warning you now, man. You better find a better chick 'cause all you got right now is some bitch who’ll whore around for anyone with a dick attached—”

Everything happens in a blink of an eye. You seriously don’t know how.

One moment Jisung’s arm is wrapped around your body then the next, he and Jaeyun are on the kitchen floor while Jisung lunges at him right away, giving Jaeyun barely time to react before his fist crashes down on him. The connection to Jaeyun’s jaw creates a painful crunch that echoes across the room, resulting in some partygoers reacting to the scene.

Your expression never changes as you watch in disbelief at the whole thing, Woona instantly screaming and trying to push Jisung off. It doesn’t work though, she falls over when Jaeyun attempts to regain himself, bouncing back a punch that has Jisung’s head taking a hit to the side. But Jisung rapidly returns his attention. Regaining control of his fist, he delivers another vicious blow to Jaeyun’s face, then follows with another, and another, and by the next punch, he finds himself losing control.

The number of punches he’s thrown, Jisung stays unaware of it, and frankly, he doesn’t give a shit about it. He continues to stay unaware even when people’s arms are grasping him from behind to force him from the wounded Jaeyun.

“Jisung, what the fuck is wrong with you?” It isn’t until Haechan’s distressed voice snaps him out of his daze, that he finally notices Jaeyun being helped up by Yuta and Jungwoo.

He observes Jaeyun’s bleeding lip and bruised face and finds no remorse in his heart. Throwing punches at the guy isn’t the worst thing he could’ve done, he knew that Jaeyun knew he deserved it too.

Instead of answering Haechan and the others as their worries talk over one another, his breath remains raggedy when he takes a glance over at you, you didn’t move from the spot, your hand over your chest as you’re heaving, trying to recollect yourself from what just happened. His gaze is fixated on you while your eyes shift between Jaeyun and Woona, who’s giving you the worst side eye known to man. 

Jisung guesses he didn’t hit Jaeyun hard enough, because he dares to open his mouth again. His voice raspy and taunting, “Shit, you’re lucky your band came to the rescue ‘cause I would’ve ripped you apart.”

“You never shut your mouth, do y—” It was stupid, Jisung knew it was, but it still had him attempting to pounce forward in the grasp of his friends but they swiftly pulled him back, making loud protests.

With all the voices that rang throughout the room, Chenle’s was the only one that caught Jisung’s attention, seeing his best friend angry was a usual thing, just not like this, “Ji, if you don’t wanna calm yourself down, take this shit outside.”

“Fine.” The younger’s eyes soften as he looks between Haechan and Jaemin who are currently holding him, “Let go of me.”

Haechan arches his brow at him, unsure of whether to trust Jisung or if he'll start something when he’s freed, but the two exchange a look before letting him go.

And just like that, Jisung storms out of the kitchen, paying no mind to Jaeyun who tries to reach for him. He exits Chenle’s apartment, and you immediately follow after him. 

Your hurried steps make contact with the concrete sidewalk as you reach outside of the house, trying to walk faster to match his pace. The cold air quickly reaches your body, making you rub your arms in hopes of warming up. 

When you’re walking close behind him, you speak up, “Jisung, I can’t believe you just did that! That whole thing was unnecessary, I don’t even know why you decided to get yourself hurt over someone as stupid as Jaeyun!” Your words coming out as a scold.

His abrupt stop in his tread almost makes you bump into him, but he turns himself around and faces you. He lashes out. “Unnecessary? My ass, it was unnecessary! I couldn't stand hearing him talk about you like that, especially when he's the one who treated you like garbage.”

Confused at his sudden outburst, you lash back, “Jisung, why did you do that?”

Jisung releases a deep breath, “Y/N, I did it because…” He can’t dare to look at you, so he glances up at the night sky instead. "Geez..."

You grow angrier seeing his focus not on you, “What, Jisung? What?”

“Fuck, because I like you, you idiot! Can’t you see that?” Your eyes slightly widen and you swallow the next agitated remark resting on your tongue. With you now becoming quiet, he allows himself to slowly calm down, “Look… I know I'm not the best with words, we know that. But these whole two weeks of me waiting by the phone just for one single text from you confused the hell outta me. I mean, at one point, you're hating me, and then I'm hating you, to us being friends, now to whatever this is.” He motions his hands between the two of you in a stressed manner.

Still. You can’t believe your ears, so you dumbly ask, “You what?”

He’s calmed down by this point, looking like an ashamed puppy, “I like you, Y/N. I really really like you.”

“And what makes you think I didn't feel the same?” Now it's Jisung's turn to be confused, his lost eyes being nothing but cute to you. Even beaten up, he was adorable. You sigh, “I like you too, stupid.” 

“Oh, thank God.” 

In a flash, his head is tilted down to match your height, and he leans in, his hands reaching for your jaw. Then, his lips meet yours. His fingers keep their place on your jaw, gentle and scared to move down. Finally, he thinks. Expecting you to pull away, he’s surprised when you kiss him back, your hands gripped on his shirt, pulling him closer to you. Fireworks weren’t going off, but your heart sure felt like they were.

You never thought your first kiss with Jisung would be like this, desperate and full of want. But you don’t care, he longed for this, and so did you. 

He pulls away and rests his forehead on yours. He circles your waist with both arms, before he speaks, his breath still heavy, “I know that you told me you always wished for a fairytale kiss, but I couldn’t help it anymore. So, uh, I hope that kinda made up for it?”

He just kissed you and he’s awkward?

You affectionately smile, “It made up for it, Ji. Really.” You loop your arms around his neck. “Now is this a bad time to apologize for how stupid it was to ghost you or…?”   

He chuckles, “You’re cute.” You pout and mumble a “shut up” before he continues, “But yes, it is. I mean, I already forgave you the moment you came over. I’m kinda hurt you didn’t realize that.”

His fake frown leads you to remove one arm from his neck and smack his chest, “I can’t read between the lines!” 

“My bad, my bad. That was my fault for thinking so.”

You hmph, both of your arms taken off his neck for you to cross them instead, “Thank you.”

Jisung thinks your attitude is adorable, and he can’t even be mad at you. Especially with you finally in his arms again after yearning for you for three months, it made everything worth it.

previous ☆ masterlist ☆ next

note: THEY FINALLY SAID IT YALLL 🙏 this chapter is cliché and cheesy af!!!! but did i still kick my feet proofreading it? of course, i did 🤭 also so sorry for such a late update ☹️, i got busy prioritizing other things! but i'm finally back!

🎫: @idkwhatursayinh @sunghoonsgfreal @multifandomania @nanaxwi @odxrilove @sourrpatched @hancafe @chaellaa @dojaejunging @jising-jisang-jisung @heheheeral @haechansbbg @renjunsversion @seunghancore @woshixinqgiu @jiiieun @pinknjm @mrshwang-park @neozon3nha @joyzluvr @aerivrs @nosungluv @haechology @beomgyusonlywife @injunnie-lemon @tommina @222low

[vulpisnocturna]

Binding Vow - Part II

Part I here

Part III here

Read on AO3

This is part II of III :)

Warnings: kidnapping, manipulation, coercion, Stockholm Syndrome, captivity, Chrollo being a manipulative asshole, obsession, slight NSFW

Word count: 6k

The lilies in the vase by the windowsill were starting to wilt. Their petals were drooping, the stems getting darker, the vibrant white of the flowers starting to become ashen. In that way, you were like them. Wilting away in a prison you were forced to call home. 

But Chrollo never let you see them die. No, he brought you new flowers every week, along with all the other gifts he gave you. You did not know which ones were bought and which were stolen. Not that it mattered much. 

His pathetic romanticism fell on deaf ears. He could court you all he liked, but he failed to see in that brilliant brain of his that it would not work after kidnapping someone and holding them prisoners. A golden cage was still a prison, and he could not make the canary sing by locking it away, even if he used his silver tongue on it. 

Sometimes, you did not know whether he was completely oblivious or simply did not care. Every glare of yours, every time you ignored him, shouted at him or even refused to eat- he met all of your attempts at rebelling with a soft sigh and a stoic outlook, telling you he “would wait for your tantrum to quiet down to talk like adults”. Always patronising. He was always so damn condescending. 

Another month had passed since the day Chrollo had tricked you into having sex with him under the guise of letting you go free and then had drugged you and left that house with you. When you had woken up, you were in a new flat, which he told you would serve as a home for the both of you for a couple of months. 

He had reassured you that he would never harm you and that he would protect you, failing to understand you needed protection from him. He had also reminded you that the doors were all locked, and that he knew your life inside out in case you planned to do something foolish. 

The first night in this house, you had screamed your lungs out at him, fighting him, or rather, trying to hit him with all your might whilst he restrained you. In the end, he’d tied you to the bed and told you he would free you once you learnt to be civil. 

Next, you had refused to eat. That lasted until he tried to force feed you, and the humiliation of the act had made you start to eat by yourself again.

After that, you had refused to speak or even look at him. Luckily, he hadn’t tried to force himself on you, but he certainly seemed to want it. He had started to sleep in the same bed as you as soon as you had cut out the screaming and hitting, and no amount of begging had made him change his mind.

“I understand you dislike my approach, but I’m doing this to keep you safe, my love. If you can get past it, you’ll see it’s only natural that we sleep in the same bed. I love having you close to me. You are so peaceful when you sleep” he had said, stroking your upper arms as though the gesture could ever be perceived as soothing. 

You always made a point to fall asleep curled as far away from him as possible, yet, somehow, you always woke up with his arm wrapped around your waist. He was stifling.

Your best moments were the ones where he’d go away to do God knew what for a few hours, or when he would be so immersed in the book he was reading that he would not talk to you for a while. Of course, he would insist on having you sit on his lap as he read, but he had settled for letting you sit with him in the living room where you wanted, which was as far away as possible from him.

You hated to admit it, but when he left, you sometimes could not help but feel lonely. He was the only person you ever saw, the only one you talked to, the only one you could go to in order to find comfort. That fact alone was enough to make your stomach churn. 

But that was all stopping that day. You had decided that one way or another, you would escape. You were on the eighth floor of an apartment complex, but even Chrollo hadn’t been able to find a place that did not have windows. They were locked, of course, but you could break them if you used enough strength. It wasn’t your strong suit, but you had trained a little on your Hatsu to be able to do more damage than your muscles were capable of. And of course, you would get hurt, but it was all for a good cause. If you could make it out, then… then maybe he wouldn’t find you. If you were careful. 

That very day was your best bet. Chrollo had told you he would not be home for supper and had left you some food in the fridge. You packed it and filled several bottles of water, raiding the cupboards of chocolate, biscuits and fruit. You also found some gauze in the bathroom drawer, which you took with you in case you wouldn’t be able to use your Nen power straightaway. 

You had cursed your power for two whole months now, hating that you weren’t an Enhancer, that you weren’t strong or fast at all. Of course, Chrollo would still be stronger, but your chances at escaping would increase. But now, you were glad you had it: if you fell from a few stories, you would be able to heal yourself, so long as you did not die on impact.

Which was why you had gathered every single towel and sheet you could find and created a makeshift rope with tight knots. It was around ten metres, which left fifteen to twenty metres left to jump. You’d found that there was a tree underneath the window of the office, so that was where you decided to escape. 

The glass was thick, and you decided to wrap your hand in a section of your rope and punch it with all your strength. 

It took half an hour and the breaking of your knuckles, which had also split and gotten wounded, but you had managed to stay focused through the pain and heal them before you lost too much blood. 

Now, as to your escape. The window was now broken, and you did your best in creating a wide enough passage where glass would not be likely to cut you or the rope. Next, you looked down to see that no one was around. The apartment complex was situated on the side of a forest surrounding a small town, and the office happened to face the woods. You could not see anyone around.

You had around three hours to escape and get as far away from that place as possible before Chrollo came back. You had to move quickly, find out where you were and then find a way out of there. 

You breathed in, calming your thundering heart and swinging the rope out of the window after tying it to the sofa. It reached ten metres or so from the canopy of the tree beneath the window, which was not ideal, but not too bad either. You stepped on the windowsill, planted your feet and started descending. 

Ten minutes later, you had reached the end of your rope. You swallowed, the wind making your eyes sting and tear up as you looked down. Legs first. You had to either grab a branch with your hands or land on your legs. 

You jumped.

Your hand scraped against the bark, burning and shredding against it. The branch underneath you winded you as you landed on your side, but you managed to break the fall before you hit the ground.

You convulsed on the grass, nausea and cold shivers tearing through your body as you quivered, taking small breaths that had you dizzy from the pain.

Definitely broken ribs. Definitely a broken leg. 

Your trembling hand reached to your side, and you focused on your aura, feeling the pain, mending the bone, healing the damage until it felt like a dull throbbing rather than stabbing, burning agony.

Next was your leg. It took you longer than you wanted to consider to heal all of your injuries, but when you finally got up, you were okay. You could run, even though the numerous cuts on your body had made you lose quite a bit of blood and you felt lightheaded.

You started running. The feeling of hope that bloomed in your heart was quick to burst into euphoria, even though you tried not to lull yourself into false security. Running along the path in the forest felt good, freedom felt like cool breeze, autumn leaves and the faint scent of rain lingering on the ground.  

You must have run more than ten miles by the time you stopped as you got to the edge of the forest. The sun was setting on the horizon, and you wagered Chrollo would be back soon. You probably had another hour before he realised you were gone. Where could you go from here? The hills to your right looked too exposed, but so did the town to your left. He would expect you to be there. But with the amount of blood you’d lost, the fact that you’d been running for hours and the lack of shelter in the hills, you had to go to the town. Maybe you’d find a sheltered place where you could stay for a few hours, before you left again. 

But you never did get to the town. 

Because as soon as you got back on your feet and went to grab your bag, your wrists were caught behind your back in an iron grip. You knew that scent all too well. 

Your heart threatened to burst in your ribcage, and your chest heaved, your eyes widening as you writhed wildly to no avail.

‘If I were you, I would stop thrashing, darling. I am not in a gracious mood’ he murmured against your ear, voice cold, seeping into your bones like ice. You stopped moving altogether, swallowing the heavy lump in your throat.

‘Have you any idea of what that fall could have done to you? You’re covered in blood. Did you break anything in your brilliant escape?’ he continued, and you wet your lips, your temples throbbing. 

Would he kill you now? Would he simply take you back? Would he break some more bones to punish you? Tie you to the bed, or relocate you to a basement? 

‘Answer me. You do not want to make this any worse than it already is’ he said coldly, releasing you and staring at you. You knew trying to make a run for it would be useless. He would catch you in seconds. And who knew what he’d do to you. 

You were done. He’d found you immediately. There was no escaping him. 

‘My knuckles. My ribs- my leg’ you whispered, scanning his face for any clue on what might happen to you. His jaw tightened.

‘So you counted on your power to heal you, disregarding that had you broken your neck, you would not be able to heal. Not quite well-thought out’ he said, a tinge of cold fury in his voice. You ground your teeth, deciding you would go out swinging instead of listening to more of his patronising remarks. 

‘I did not have many options. I ran, because you kidnapped me. I was willing to take the risk’ you spat, and he lifted his chin, looking down at you, seemingly rigid in his posture. 

‘I must say that was a rather inventive plan. I think I might have read about a character doing the same thing in an adventure book once’ he mused, recomposing himself and disregarding your words completely.

‘You clearly cannot care for yourself, darling. Look what you've done to yourself. You are so very fragile. We have much to discuss. Of course, there will be consequences, but you should know I would never hurt you. I simply need you to listen. You can come with me now without a fuss or you can make the situation worse for yourself and risk more dire consequences for your behaviour. Your choice’ he said, looking at you, his eyes softening ever so slightly as you let out a strangled sob. 

Choice. Another choice that was already written in stone.

‘Just let me go. Let me free. Please’ you breathed, resorting to pleading in the face of defeat, hating the fact that you could feel the tears spill from your eyes. He let out a soft sigh, cupping your face and stroking your cheek. You did not know whether you wanted to spit in his face or let him comfort you for something he was guilty of. Because you were so alone, your heart was so wretchedly heavy.

‘Shh, shh. It’s alright, my love. You must be so exhausted. You need to rest. I’ve got you. I’ve got you’ he kissed your forehead, soothing your sobs, and perhaps it was desperation and exhaustion that made you cling to his shirt with trembling fingers. You let all of your tears of frustration, pain, hurt and anger out, sobbing in the arms of the one who had brought them to life. And he was so gentle as he held you. So painfully tender in the way he soothed you, stroking your hair, kissing the top of your head, holding you close to him.

Chrollo bent to pick you up in his arms, and you buried your head against him, not wanting to look at him and accept what you had just done and where he was taking you. What the consequences of your escape would be.

As the temperature started dropping, you found yourself seeking out the warmth of his body, feeling the exhaustion catch up to you quickly. You had finally stopped crying, but your head was pounding and your eyes were raw from the tears.

You saw a car at the edge of the forest, parked behind the building, in front of the tree and your makeshift rope. He opened the door and deposited you on the passenger seat, closing it behind you and getting in on the other side. He reached over and put on your seatbelt, locking the doors and staring at you.

‘Where are we going? What is going to happen to me?’ you asked, voice hoarse from all the crying. Chrollo slicked back the wayward strands of black hair that had escaped his hairstyle, regarding you with a cold expression, if not slightly laced with disappointment.

‘You saw fit to break the window of our flat. I called some people to take care of the mess there and get our stuff whilst I retrieved you. We are going to another place, this one is compromised now. As to you, my love... I do not know what punishment would fit this crime. Your sorrow and your tears have touched me, truly. But I must ensure you learn your lesson. You don’t want this to happen again, do you?’ he asked, turning the keys and starting to drive.

Did you want this to happen again? Of course not. His tone let you know that if you ever did this again, there would be Hell to pay. Who knew what he would do now, you shuddered to imagine what he might think to do if you tried to escape once again.

‘No’ you said quietly.

There was no escaping Chrollo Lucilfer. You had been stupid to think that you could have done so. Drunk on the idea of freedom. He might have said he would never harm you physically, but he hadn’t said anything of the sort about your loved ones. You had learnt that with him, the devil was in the details. He always twisted meanings and played with words like a musician would play an instrument. And there was no escaping his judgement.

Chrollo was not having a nice day. He had had to pull back a heist when Shal had informed him the museum had been tipped off, and had thought he would just get to go home and spend some needed time with his darling girl. He had seriously thought you had made vast progress in your interactions with him. In a mere month, he had managed to mellow you a lot, and even though it had irked him to put up with your foolish tantrums, he had done so patiently, knowing being less strict would eventually aid him in making you come around. You had started to talk to him again, even seemed content to sit with him in the living room to read.

He wasn’t too pleased you never took him up on the offer to sit on his lap, and sometimes, he wanted to pull you against him and hold you there, but he was a patient man, and he understood the perks of patience and strategy.

That was why he had been willing to compromise on not taking everything he wanted yet. He had put boundaries on what was non-negotiable, like sleeping in the same bed. After all, you were his. He had claimed you, given you food, shelter and protection, brought you all kinds of beautiful gifts that reminded him of you, made you feel good. He knew you liked the sex, too. You could not deny it, he remembered all too well how very precious you had looked writhing underneath him, begging and whining for him.

Nevertheless, he was waiting to do it again, simply because you were under the impression you had been tricked by him with the vow you had made, and that had upset you. Understandably so, but the fact that you hadn’t paid enough attention to his words was hardly his fault. However, if he was respectful of your body and did not force himself on you, he knew you would eventually seek him out. He could already see the slivers of your resolve shattering, and it pleased him to no end. The way you now let him kiss the top of your head, flinching less often when he drew you in for a hug or stroked your cheek. It was a chess game, and Chrollo knew he would win.

But now, you’d broken his trust. You’d disappointed him.

When he had come back home, looking for you, thinking you might be asleep or ignoring him as he called your name, and had eventually seen the window shattered and a makeshift rope made of sheets and towels, he had seen red. There was blood spatter on the glass, and the thought of you going so far as to harm yourself in order to escape him had made his stomach hot with rage and his chest tight with worry.

He had inspected the grounds underneath the tree he surmised you had used to break your fall, and he could see some blood, not enough to make you die of blood loss. Some drips had seeped into the blades of grass that led to the woods. Torn between cold fury, worry and admiration for your commendable resolve, for a moment, he had also thought you were truly so delightful. It was so sweet of you to believe you could escape.

He also knew you must have used your power to heal yourself, because he expected you to have broken at least a few bones. Therefore, you must have been lightheaded and weak. A fragile thing like you, alone in the woods, where anyone could easily harm you. He had been worried sick, ready to burn the forest to ashes.

It had taken him twenty minutes to scour the whole forest. When he had found you, you had been panting, holding onto a tree as your gaze shifted between the hills and the small town as though you were considering your course of action. So fragile, so impossibly delicate and fatigued, so oblivious to your surroundings. He hated how you put yourself in danger. Hated that you thought it would be better than being by his side.

Of course, Chrollo knew it was human nature to seek freedom, so he could not fault you for trying. But he was not pleased. You had put yourself in danger and broken his trust.

He had been ready to make you learn your lesson by confining you to a windowless bedroom, never taking his eyes off you, even pay a visit to one of your friends. However, the moment you had started to sob and clung to him, accepting his embrace, seeking him in your sorrow, he had been truly moved. You were truly so sweet in his eyes, so vulnerable, he just wished to hold you and never let you go.

Now, he was not sure what the best course of action would be. Should he be understanding, threaten what would happen if there was another attempt, and bask in your need to be comforted by him? If he happened to be too strict with you, it might halt the progress you’d just made. But if he offered himself as the only one who could soothe your worries and comfort you, then, perhaps, you would become more dependent on him. He wanted nothing more.

But things would have to move more swiftly, because his patience was starting to run out. If he was honest, as he had you back in his car, looking so meek with your tear-stained eyes and torn clothes, he had only wanted to move you to the back of the car and show you just how much he needed you. Just how much you truly liked him. Then, maybe, you would regret your actions. But he had to hold back.

He had nothing but time with you. And your attitude and outlook on your living situation was the most important thing right now. He had to change your perspective, or his work the past month would be ruined just because he had lost his temper after you made a mistake. You could still make things better.

‘Chrollo’ you murmured, wringing your hands in your lap. You rarely called him by his name. You rarely talked to him without him starting the conversation. He loved the way his name sounded on your lips.

‘Mh?’

‘What’s going to happen to me?’ you repeated, small voice haunted. He placed his hand on your thigh, stroking your skin gently as he drove through the empty street.

‘You did something quite upsetting, dearest. You know I would have never forgiven myself if something happened to you. I cannot let anyone, including you, harm you. I cannot trust you now; you understand that, don’t you?’ he asked, voice smooth. A part of him wanted to ask you what you thought a fitting punishment would be. But he did not do well with not knowing what you would say.

‘I won’t try to run again- just... please don’t hurt the people I care about. Please. I’ll do anything’ you said desperately, and Chrollo forced himself to restrain the urge to smile. Now, that was a pleasant development. He could utilise this. Could reap the benefits of your dedication.

‘My love, it pains me that you think me a monster. There would be no reason to visit your past acquaintances if this is a one-time mistake. But how can I trust your word? How can I be certain you will not try to run from me again? That you’ll be my good girl?’ he asked gently, keeping his voice as soft and calm as he could.

Human imagination was truly intriguing. How you had come to that conclusion in your mind, already deeming it a reality, and sought to find a way out of it by offering everything you had. It was truly endearing, and Chrollo had barely had to do anything. And now, if he spared your acquaintances, he would be seen as merciful. You would be grateful. Even though he hadn’t planned to kill them as of yet, deeming it counterproductive for your opinion of him. But if he utilised your fears against you, he could appear as a compassionate source of comfort to you.

‘Because... I know it’s useless. And I don’t want to be the reason they might... get hurt’ you said earnestly, your bottom lip quivering. It made you look so sweet in his eyes. So innocent and pure. Completely different from him, someone so fascinating he could never take his eyes off you.

‘I- will behave. I’ll do- whatever you want’ you whispered, almost resignedly, your shoulders sloping. Chrollo let out a soft sigh. You had no idea of the effect you had on him when you said things like that. It was all he ever wanted. And soon, he knew you would say the same words with care and tenderness in your voice.

  He parked the car in front of the skyscraper, opening the door and stepping out, and a middle-aged woman approached him, holding a pair of keys. Chrollo took them from her, spotting Shal’s antenna sticking out of her neck when she turned to head towards the glass doors. Chrollo went back to the car, opening the door and giving you his hand. You looked at him, closing your eyes briefly before you accepted his help and stood up on unsteady legs. He took his coat off, wrapping it around you. It would not do to have you walk in the lobby with your shirt and legs covered in blood.

It was long and baggy on you, and covered your whole body. He thought you looked quite sweet in it. He made sure to lead you to the door with a hand on your lower back, not trusting your balance after the injuries you had sustained and the clear exhaustion he could observe in your sluggish movements.

This time, Chrollo had asked Pakunoda and Shal to find him a place as high up as possible, so you could still watch the sky and not get any stupid ideas. The woman led you and him to a lift and pressed the button for the fiftieth floor, the penthouse. He liked to show off with a better flat, a more luxurious one, but had it been up to him, he would not have cared much, so long as it was comfortable and had everything he might need.

The woman stayed in the lift as he led you outside, to the door of your new home. He opened it, stepping inside and conjuring Bandit’s Secret to lock the door with Nen that only he could unlock. He put the keys on the bowl on the accent table by the door, because they were as useful as a pen to you if you planned to use them to open the door.

The penthouse was spacious but decorated in a way he did not mind. Cosy and warm, with a big fireplace, a loveseat and two armchairs in front of it, bookshelves filled with books on the opposite wall. His friends had truly found him a good place to crash. The dining room and the kitchen were connected to the living room by a wall with open arches, and one side of the dining room was a full window that offered a nice view of the city. He decided to look for anything that might be amiss before you moved from the hallway, and walked through the corridor, opening the door to the bedroom and the bathroom. It must definitely be more expensive than his previous lodging, but he hardly cared or worried about that in his life.

His clothes and yours had been carried here in two suitcases, and Chrollo decided he would give you space to have a bath or a shower whilst he tidied things up. With that in mind, he stepped back into the living room, observing you as you put his coat on the armchair.

‘Why don’t you take a warm shower, darling? It will relax your muscles. I’ll be here if you need anything’ he said, and you looked down at your torn clothes, your eyes wandering around the room.

He quickly went back to the bedroom, opened the suitcases and grabbed one of his shirts and clean underwear. You could go without trousers. If he were honest, he wanted you to go without any of those cumbersome clothes covering your stunning body, but he doubted you would react nicely to it if he suggested that. He was willing to compromise.

Besides, the thought of you wearing one of his shirts was somehow even better than going without it. Something about having something that was his on you. Proof of the fact that you were his.

He stepped outside, handing you the clothes and planting a kiss on your forehead.

‘Uhm- I need... trousers’ you murmured, your face growing hot against his fingers. He smirked, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

‘Do you, darling? The shirt will cover enough of you up. I’ll be in the living room. Come over when you are finished’ he said, leaving you blushing in front of the bathroom and going to the bedroom, starting to sort through the clothes and objects in the suitcase.

When you came back, he had finished tidying up and was sitting down on the sofa with a book in his hand, the fireplace now crackling with orange flames and a glass of red wine on the coffee table.  

He had been right, you did look ravishing. With the smears of blood and dirt gone, his shirt on you, covering you to your upper thighs, leaving your legs exposed, he could hardly restrain himself. But tonight was not the right time to have you. No, he just wanted to hold you and see you. And perhaps taunt you a little as punishment for running away. Yes, he would definitely have you fulfil your promise to do anything he liked starting that very night.

He patted his thigh, and watched with sly amusement as you swallowed, clearly trying to find a loophole that would allow you to sit anywhere else. He enjoyed watching you rack your brains, knowing you might incur more dire consequences after you refused him the day you had attempted to escape.

It took you a minute, but eventually, you took small, hesitant steps towards him until you were firmly sat on his lap, his arm around you holding you to him. He loved your scent, loved the feel of your body against his, loved the sight of your pretty thighs. If he had been any other man, he would not have been able to exert control on his desires. But he would, because if he waited, the reward would be much sweeter. Besides, you seemed to think he would do something, and watching you squirm was delightful in it of itself.

He resumed reading the psychological thriller he’d picked up, stroking your ribs, knowing you’d mended them mere hours before. Your power was truly incredible. A power that sought to heal, remedy, one so in tune with your pure, kind soul. He found it so very fitting, so sweet. And so useful.

He could feel you shifting on his lap from time to time, and could not decide whether he wanted you to continue or to stop because it was so enticing. He decided he might do something, even if he would not take you to bed yet. After all, he had you there, glued to his body. It would be a sin to discard such a sweet chance.

He lowered his book, holding you more tightly, tilting your chin with his fingers.

‘Kiss me’ he murmured, watching you to see if you would hold to your word. He saw your pretty eyes widen, your lips parted as you scanned his face and shifted on him. Your teeth caught your bottom lip, pulling lightly on it, and he could not wait to do that himself and feel just how soft your lips were.

He had held back on kissing your lips as well, and he still remembered how worked up he had managed to get you just with that. He had a nice plan in the making, but he wanted you to kiss him first. Set it into motion.

You hesitantly craned your neck to press your soft lips on his cheek, and he let out a soft laugh, cupping your jaw.

‘Do not play coy with me, darling. You know perfectly well what I mean. Now, shall we try that again?’ he crooned, and he could see the acquiescence on your face set, compliance in the face of what you had said in the car as you leaned back towards him, closing your eyes and pressing your lips to his. This time, you did not have to be told to do it again. You knew what he wanted from you, and you acquiesced, tilting your head and touching his hair gingerly, your lips brushing against his, soft and timid. Chrollo restrained the urge to take the lead and show you exactly what he craved, because he wanted you to get there yourself.

At first, you kissed him slowly, tentatively, but then, the tip of your tongue traced the outline of his bottom lip, and you sucked it gently. Chrollo’s fingers curled around your scalp, tangling in your hair as he sank his teeth in your bottom lip, taking advantage of it to slide his tongue in your mouth. He had waited way too long to do this, but God, it was worth it.

You were addicting. He sucked and licked your lower lip, pressing his tongue against yours, tasting you, savouring the feeling of your restraint fading whenever he kissed you more passionately. A few times, he could have sworn you sought out his lips, hungry for more, battling your own desires but unable to deny them to the fullest. And it felt like a damn drug to him. He could force himself on you, but nothing could ever replace the feeling of watching you melt in his arms, so willing and pliant by the time you warmed up to his touch.

Your fingers were tangled in his hair, and his hand wandered down to cup your ass, fingers gripping the plump flesh of it, his cock already hard in his trousers. Judging by the way you were squirming and pressing your thighs together, he knew you would be wet if he touched you. And the thought alone was tantalising. He wanted to devour you, wanted you underneath him again, pretty and completely at his mercy. But he steered clear, deciding to just stroke your thighs, massage them, feel the goosebumps there as he continued to kiss you.

When his fingers inched closer to your inner thigh and you spread them for him a little, he knew he’d won. He smirked against your lips, sucking your swollen bottom lip one last time before he pulled back, looking at your flushed skin, bright eyes and tormented lips. You looked so tantalising, so compliant.

‘Have you any idea what you do to me?’ he whispered, his hand resting on your hip now. He let you simmer in that feeling, knowing that he would not have to wait much longer, he would have you soon.

He went back to his book, smirking slightly whenever you would squirm in his grasp. Oh, you must be so wound up. He wished he could help you. But this was all in favour of something better. To make you truly desperate, just as he was to get his hands on you. To have you all the time.

It did not take you long to start growing more sluggish, and before he knew it, he had finished the book and you were asleep, your head against his jaw, peaceful in your slumber. You were such a heavy sleeper, but he was also aware that you had exhausted yourself with that foolish stunt you’d pulled. He kissed your hair, setting the book down and lifting himself up, carrying you to bed. When he looked at you as you twisted in the sheets and his shirt lifted up to reveal the panties he’d picked out, he let out an audible groan.

Just a little longer, he thought. For now, he headed to the bathroom, seeking to relieve your effect on him.

You were disgusted with yourself. Disgusted with your weakness, disgusted with the effect he had on you. Yes, you’d said you’d do anything if he spared your loved ones, and you had been dreading him trying to fuck you. Having to go through it again. You had not expected him not to.

A week had passed, a week of torture. You had given up altogether on running away, especially because the door was impossible to open and jumping out the window wasn’t a viable option anymore. He had been more lenient than you’d ever imagined he could be, and hadn’t even tried to fuck you. He had merely demanded you sit on his lap and kiss him. And he had done so every day for the past week.

And every night for the past week, you’d been plagued with dreams about him having his way with you. You were horrified whenever you woke up drenched, pressure in your lower stomach, the unbearable desire to feel his touch rearing its ugly head again. Reminding yourself of who he was had become increasingly difficult, when all you could think about was how good he felt, how much his touch sparked heat in your body. And he knew it too, the clever bastard. You could see it in his sly grey eyes, in the sardonic smirk he would give you once he pulled away.

You were lonely, and you were tired. Tired of the struggle, tired of the anxiety, tired of weighing your every word, of pushing him away, of walking on eggshells all day long. It would be so easy to give in. The only thing that held you back was giving him the satisfaction. But then again, you’d already done that the time you’d slept with him. What was the point? Wouldn’t you live a much easier life if you gave in? If you stopped fighting and just let him encroach himself in your life? It had already happened, and your stubbornness and pride were only making your life harder.

You wanted to scream. You wanted to cry. You were weak and twisted for considering liking someone like him. Someone who had kidnapped you, a murderer with no morals, a man who had no problems threatening your loved ones and keeping you captive.

But what choice did you have? What was there in the future for you? More struggle, more bile in your throat, more tightness in your chest, more pain and suffering? Or just acceptance?

He could be considerate, when you did what he wanted. And he could be your worst nightmare if he wanted to.

You couldn’t defeat him, couldn’t escape, couldn’t convince him to let you go. Your choices were to either live a miserable life of suffering, or to give in and experience something bordering safety. Something that might resemble a life one day. All in exchange for giving in to the one who had ruined your life. Somehow, the choice made itself in your mind.

Part III here

[cbrownjc]

image credit: c2299cLance on Twitter

The above image is from the Episode 2x05 insider. And boy oh boy do I (did I?) have a question about this.

Because if that really is the book being published in the present day . . . then that pretty much upends the format of the show. Because the book being published means there is absolutely no reason for Daniel to stick around Dubai anymore IMO. Because why would he? His job is done.

And truth be told, I've long thought the interview would be finished in episode 2x08. That Daniel would finish it, and talk about heading home to being writing and editing it.

However, I never really thought he would actually leave. Because Daniel's character basically does leave the story at the end of Interview with the Vampire. And we don't see him again until Queen of the Damned, during the chase. (And we already know Season 3 is The Vampire Lestat).

But I really couldn't work out how the show could ever have that happen -- because that basically means Daniel's character leaving the show for a time. Possibly a long time, as time jumps just to account for the book being published would have to happen. And that, well . . .

See, I very much noticed how much Daniel's Parkinson's was making him shake this episode (2x05). And I in no way think Armand and Daniel are doing the Devil's Minion chase in the current day with Daniel having Parkinson's during a pandemic (which is still going on in the show's timeline). Sorry, no, not happening IMO. Because there is no damn reason for Armand to chase Daniel now, IMO. The reason Armand even did so in the first place was because he found Daniel fascinating/interesting. And well, as we just saw in episode 2x05 that already happened. It makes no sense that Armand would wait 50 freakin' years to follow up on that with a chase around the world.

So the book being published at the end of the interview always meant, to me, that it would mean bye-bye to Eric from the show. Which, I was NOT looking forward to. Because I honestly couldn't see any reason for Daniel's character to stick around, at least in Dubai, never mind the next part of the story. Especially if Lestat isn't going to be in Dubai and we might have to start doing freakin' time jumps to account for the publication of books.

And, once again, Daniel has a degenerative disease. That, once again, I noticed very well how much he was shaking from. So unless Devil's Minion really didn't happen in the past, there really was no way for Daniel to enter or be part of the story going forward. Because yes, I very much think Armand is going to be prepared to let Daniel leave Dubai and not stop him. Right now, Armand is very focused on keeping his life as it is in Dubai, and I think part of that is due to him not thinking Daniel would ever really remember anything of the past anyway.

So yeah, if that prop is for the book actually being published in the modern-day, I was already beginning to mourn Daniel leaving the show. Because from how I looked at it, I couldn't figure out any reason why his character would stay in Dubai, around these vampires anymore. Right now, if Daniel leaves Dubai, he leaves the show IMO. And probably for a good long while, given where the story is going. (With maybe Armand coming to see Daniel later at some point when he's dying to turn him or something, IDK).

And then, I was reminded -- by @nalyra-dreaming -- of this picture that Eric posted on Twitter a few months back:

And it all began to click.

Because for a real time there, for a few weeks at least after Eric first posted this, I seriously thought that Daniel's character was going to, well die.

Between the posting of this picture by Eric as well as a few other things, no joke, I was getting a real vibe about it, that Daniel was going to die this season . . . but not stay dead of course. I just held back on talking about it because it felt so damn early, story-wise, for it to happen.

And then something during the lead-up to the more recent press events made me stop thinking Daniel would die. And that Daniel's turning still wouldn't happen for a few more seasons yet.

But now . . . if the book really is going to be published . . .

I think it's going to be published posthumously. Or, at least, posthumously to the human world.

Because why would Daniel stick around in Dubai if the book is published? As we saw in the preview for next week, he's already saying to Justin Kirk he wants to get out of this alive. The minute he's done with the interview he's leaving, make no mistake about that. So why would Daniel stay?

Well, becoming an undead vampire would do it.

So everyone who wanted Eric's Daniel to become a vampire? You might actually be getting your wish this season. Because if those books above really are real and Daniel really is publishing it in the modern-day . . . then the only reason I can think of for him to not only stay in Dubai/on the show but not visibly age -- or get sicker like Daniel very much would wrt such time jumps that would require not only a publication of such a book but for Lestat to see it, read it, etc -- is this. Daniel becomes a vampire at the end of this season.

Because otherwise, IMO? There is no other reason for his character to stick around. Not from anything else I've thought of so far at least that would make any type of sense.

And what is going to force Armand's hand into turning Daniel? (Because yes, I do still think it's going to be Armand who does it) Well, very likely this . . .

gif credit: @hermit-frog

I already thought Daniel was going to get hurt when it came to this happening. But now I think Daniel getting hurt will be the least of it . . .

[supercriminalbean]

Hope you're having a good day/night

I was wondering if I could request Hotch x Male reader, the team get a case that leads back to an old unsolved case of a group of children going missing and start showing up dead at different ages from sever injuries from fighting(?)

Reader is part of the bau but has alot of secrets to hide including being one of the younger children that went missing and managed to escape but not without physical and emotional scars (being forced to play a cruel game of survival of the fittest for the entertainment of the Unsub who streamed the gruesome cruelty)

Maybe the unsub captures reader cause he was the one that got away and the team start to peice together reader was one of the missing kids by how fast reader state of mind went to a primal kill or die (like readers afraid he'll die there and no one will ever find him or know or care so when they do he's relived and breaks down but another part of him think he doesn't deserve it cause of what he's done to survive)

Hotch being there for reader

FIGHT CLUB

Aaron Hotchner x Male!Reader.

Summary: The reader is trying to find the group that ruin his life, but keeping it a secret from his team is differcult when he has to ask them for help.

Warning: Dark fic. Blood, fighting, death, abuse, kidnapping, swearing, drugs, unsub violence, bad eatting habits, bad self care, scars, angst. This whole fic is just dark and strange the ask it self is amazing and may help you know if this is something you can handle. (Any other warnings let me know xx)

Words: 9.4k

A/N: Hiiii! Omg this ask 😍😍 I love you!! I had to split this into a couple different parts due to I'm up to 12k words and got so much more i wanna add to it right now. Next part will be posted next week (hopefully!!) I just couldn't wait to post this. I did change it a little and hope this is what you were after. 🖤🖤 thank you for the request my love.

Part two. Part three. Part four.

Another body has shown up, and if you're right another kid will go missing in just a couple hours a few towns over from the latest body. You know it's just a matter of time as you read the article, one that barely has any information of the latest victim found, another teen boy. While the article prints out you give the detective on the case a call, you know you shouldn't, you should just let this go until your team is called in properly. But hey, there is no harm in asking innocent questions, is there? 

“Hello, this is Detective Rose,” An older man answers.

“Hello Detective, I'm with the FBI, SSA agent (Y/L) from the Bau unit” Your voice comes out sharp as you hold back the emotions swirling in your mind. If this is the group you believe it is, you're going to have to bring your team in, but no way could they know just how long you have been looking for them.

“Oh Agent, how can I help?” The man's voice is filled with confusion.

“I heard you found a body of a teenage boy, I read in the report he was badly injured and a 

John doe, look I think he might be connected to a case I'm working and I need you to send me all the information and photos of this boy you have as soon as you can” You don’t have time to explain to him, nor the patience.

“Case, but there's only one body?” There's a small arrogance laying under his tone as he speaks his next words. “Plus he seems to be a runaway, he doesn’t seem like the type anyone would be after”

“Excuse me” You can’t help but sneer into the phone, anger filling you up. “How dare you, he is a child, someone has to be missing him and even if not he deserves justice, so I figure you better send me what I asked for before I called your boss” Venom seems to drip from your words as your grip the phone like your life depends on it. Silence fills the other end and your patience seems to dry up, opening your mouth to send him another order when he finally speaks up again.

“Of course we don’t need that, files and photos have been sent, reach out again if I —” You hang up before he finishes speaking, you don’t need anything more from him. 

~~~

Sitting on your couch, your mind spinning as you go through the new photos of the crime scene you have received. This is it, this is them, no doubt about it. He fits the victimology, he’s the right age, fit and covered in so many cuts and bruises it’s impossible to see his face. What makes your heart drop the most is the cut on his left forearm, two other previous victims also had it. You know how they got it, hell you got one quite similar to it. Which means you know where they are being kept and where they are going next which means it's time to bring your team in. Grabbing the pile of older files, ones that you have collected over the years, pulling the top few files off the top for the team to see, placing the older ones at the bottom of your to go bag. You can’t let your team know just how long you have been investigating this case. If you do things could unravel and your past could be exposed, the one thing that could never happen, because if it does you might not have a job any more. 

Your phone starts dinging, your alarm going off. Great you pulled another all nighter, something you have been warned against many times in the past month. 

~~~

Hotch has been on your ass a lot lately about looking after yourself, he’s the only one who can tell when you're struggling. Maybe that's why you're having a hard time figuring out how to bring this case to him. You know he’s going to know this isn’t just a regular case for you, you might be good at hiding your personal life and emotions from the team but that doesn’t include Aaron. You're not sure how you grew close to your boss, you two have hangout, outside of work many times, even including getting to know Jack and spending many weekends watching his soccer games, and of course getting ice cream afterwards as a reward. Somehow Aaron managed to get you to join them both for movie nights and your friendship has never been stronger than that night. But then you had to go and ruin it, pulling yourself away from him, when things started feeling real. You started feeling like you belong and not just with him, but with the team you're surrounded by. Belonging somewhere is something you have never felt before and it's terrifying, so you pull away from them all. Space is a good thing plus there were only a few reasons you took this job a few years ago and you need to remember that.

~~~

You're the first one at the office that morning, even beating Hotch to the office for once. You wait at your desk, your desk is different from the others. They all have personal items on their desk, things that make their desk seem more welcoming and comforting. Except yours, its fill of paperwork and a small fake desk plant that Garcia placed there one day that you just didn’t have the heart to move. Aaron arrives not long after you. Aaron stops by the glass door when he spots you, and he’s glad you're facing the other way so he can just watch you for a moment. He can’t help but feel something is wrong, the last few weeks you have been more off than normal. You're someone who keeps to themself and he knows that, maybe that's why he was surprised when you were spending a lot of your time with him and Jack. Not that he minded at all, he loves spending time with you, maybe more than a boss should but he shouldn’t be blamed when it comes to you, you're different. But when he was spending time with you, he managed to figure out your tell, and how you go inside your own mind when things aren’t right. Maybe that's why, even when you started putting more distance between you both, he couldn't help but remind you to get some sleep or remind you to eat, the two things you always seem to forget about. Aaron lets out a small breath, preparing himself for whatever the reason is that you're the first one here. The glass doors open and within a second you're spinning around in your chair, and the first thing Aaron notices is the files in your hands and then the bags underneath your determined eyes.

“Good Morning Hotch” Your voice is full of energy, which he can only put down to the empty coffee cup beside you.

“Morning, you’re here early” Aaron stares at you questionably, raising his eyebrow when you don’t respond.  “Is there a reason why?”

“I need to talk to you, it's important” You jump up quickly, meeting him in the middle of the room.

“Alright, my office then” He bites back a sigh as you nod enthusiastically, climbing up the stairs before him. He can’t help himself but compare you to a puppy, one who uses up all their energy but still refuses to back down when it's time to rest. He’s waiting for you to burn out, it may have been three years with you on the team, but he can’t help but wait for you to break. He doesn’t understand how anyone could keep going at the pace you do without any consequences.

~~~

You both enter his office, Aaron places his bag down before taking a seat at his desk, signalling you to do the same, so you do.

“Okay so I found—” You can’t help but start, holding your own homemade files,your leg bouncing as you speak.

“Stop” Hotch holds his hand up to silence you, dread fills your eyes as you do. “Did you sleep last night?” Accusation dripping from his words, his stern stare digging straight into your sole, making a strange shiver roll down your spine.

“That's not important” The confidence seems to slip by as he stares at you longer, you can’t help but sink in your chair, the uncomfortableness just making you want to run.

“But it is, I need to know my agents are looking after themself” Aaron holds back the proper lectures he wants to give you. Sometimes he wonders how you managed to become a full functioning adult with the way you treat your body, running yourself so low he wonders how you're alive at all.

“I look after myself perfectly fine Aaron” You have to physically bite your tongue to hold back the taunt you want to say instead, but you need him to listen to you instead.

“Do you, because you didn’t sleep last night, and can you even tell me the last time you ate something homemade?” 

“Last night” Smirking cockily at him, you indeed did make something last night so he can suck it.

“It doesn’t count if it was your usual cheese on toast” Aaron smirks as yours slowly disappears. 

“Okay, uncalled for Hotch” Grumbling as you place the files down before crossing your arms. “Look I get it, I need to improve, but I need your help on something much more important, please?” Your mask starts dropping, the fear and doubtfulness visible for just a few seconds, before you pull yourself together again, your face hardening up again.

~~~

“Tell me what this is?” Hotch reaches for the files, the pile alot bigger than he first thought it was.

“Someone is kidnapping teenages all over the country, and just hours surrounded the kidnapping another teenage is found dead a few towns over from the new victim, I have found about seven different cases over the course of 18 months so far, but the dead victims are never the ones from the recent kidnappings, they look older almost like they could have been kidnapped years prior maybe, they all have the same marks all over their body, the victimology is the same” You take a deep breath as Hotch flicks throughs the file. “The ones being taken are either from abusive households or already living on the street, they aim for the ones who are strong but not confident, they seem to find the quiet ones are go after them, but they are quick, they don’t leave much room for the kids to escape, they move fast” Your words seem to run from your mouth, the rush to get out of your mind and into Aarons ear makes you forget to breathe. The urgency is great and he just doesn't understand. 

“You keep saying they” Hotch looks up the files, his boss face activated, his lips pursed together. His eyes burn into you once more, you have to do everything in your power to not physically respond to that call out, unfortunately your body straightens up, your throat clutching. 

“I believe it has to be at least two unsubs if not more, and one of them could possibly be a woman” You take a deeper breath as your heart starts to pace, your mind screaming at you to stop as Aaron's eyes narrow more.

“And why do you think that?”

“Because they're fast, they move around the country, and according to the autopsy the kids are well nutritious, they cause of death is mainly blood lose, or hits to the head, I think—-” You quickly cut yourself off. No you can’t say that, you can’t let that detail out quite yet, he won’t understand, no one will understand not yet. “I think they must be keeping them somewhere safe before they dispose of them” You change the words that almost slip out quickly, but not fast enough for Hotch to not notice. Hotch watches you closely as you grow quiet, waiting for his response. Your leg bouncing as your nails dig into your arms, your eyes begging him to say something, just anything.

“What do you think they are doing to them if they are keeping them for so long then?” His question is innocent enough, but oh lord. Your stomach is now on fire, your eyes darken with anger as you speak.

“Training them to fight each other, fight to the death and then they keep the strong ones for who knows what” Oh but you know, oh you know too well what they are keeping them for and that makes you want to be sick. 

~~~

Silence fills the office as he stares at you, the anger that fills your eyes is something he hasn’t seen before, and he has seen you angry. But this is different, this is almost a murderous glaze in your eyes, something that makes Aaron uncomfortable. 

He knows what he has to do, even if he doesn’t like it. 

“How long have you been investigating this, how did you manage to get all of this information?” His voice is low as he speaks, his words filling with disappointment as he speaks.

“A few months” A lie, you both know that. But Aaron knows better than to question that right now, the can of worms that could open could be too hard to close.

“Why are you just bringing this to me now?” His voice raises, the disappointment sweeping out. “You should of came to me as soon as you saw a pattern forming” 

“I know I should have, but I wanted to see if I was right, maybe see if I could find any clues before bringing the team into a goose chase” You try to reason with him, gulping as if you know what you have to say. “I think I found them, and if I'm right another person was taken last night and I have a feeling that another body will be found near the state line of Nebraska and Wyoming, we need to take this case, we need to save them” A shaky breath leaves you as you lean forward, placing your hands on the desk, your eyes pleading. 

“Aar, please trust me on this” Gulping thickly as you see his eye flash with something unreadable as you say his old nickname, one you haven’t used in months.

“I need to make a few phone calls” He looks away from you as he picks up the phone. Standing up you smile slightly at him, thanking him quietly as you make your way out. 

~~~

The team soon arrives within the hour, where hotch is up in his office on the phone the whole time. Your body is on edge, sipping on your third cup of coffee as your mind runs. The team all stood around, talking and laughing as they usually do. Of course they try to get you to join in, but with one glance at you, they know this morning is not the time to get you to join in with them. It's Dave that talks to you this morning, his eyes couldn’t help but keep drifting to you as the team standing around teasing Reid and his crosswords. 

“Hey kiddo” Dave stands in front of you, pulling you from your mind, and mainly your eyes off Aarons offices.

“Ah, Morning Sir” Forcing a small smile as you do your best to focus on him, and not whatever conversation is going on inside the office right now.

“How many times have I told you Rossi, or Dave is fine? '' He smile’s down at you, hating to see the bags underneath your eyes, or the fresh scratch mask around your wrist. You wear long sleeves half the time, but that doesn’t stop the team from seeing the way your scratch at your arms when you get overwhelmed. 

“Right sorry” Pushing a small chuckle out, as you give him a weak smile. “My bad”

“It's okay, are you doing alright?” Rossi looks down at you worriedly, you weren’t the most talkative but right now you don’t even seem to know how to be your regular self.

“Fine si– Rossi” Your body tenses at the slip up, your eyes flicker back up to Aaron's office.

“Alright, if you ever need to talk kiddo you know I'm around” He smiles at you, one that's full of concern. A part of him wants to reach out, place a hand on your shoulder so you get the message, but he knows it won’t work with you. You don’t react well to physical touch, you jump when someone gets too close. The team remembers the first time Garica tried to give you a hug, you jumped back, hiding behind Morgan who was closest to you in that moment. She touched your shoulders, and you have never moved so fast, your body tensing your hands rolling into fist. You apologised as soon as you calmed down, you gave them no reasoning as to why. But they understood and no one has tried to touch you since, they even became your human shields when random people would try to hug you as a thank you. You were extremely grateful for that, it's been like that for three years now and still no one asks you why and you owe them so much for that.

~~~

Hotch finally emerges from his office after another hour, a sour look plastered across his face, and when you catch his eyes you know why. They found the body. 

“We got a case” Hotch calls out to his team, everyone's head shoots up to him. A deep unnerving tension seems to fill the room due to the seriousness on his face, and the way his eyes never leave yours. The air seems to leave your lungs as you stand up, grabbing your notebook off your desk before following the team into the conference room. Hotch waits by the door as the team walks in, placing his hand up in front of you to stop you. 

“One moment” His voice is low as he speaks, not wishing for the team to overhear.

“We found two bodies, one of them is Jason Ducan” Aaron speaks softly, as he watches your face flicker with recognition at that name. 

“They found a body” You stare up at him, your eyes now empty of emotions, putting them on the backboard as you prepare for this case.

“Jason Ducan, he was my first missing kid when I worked here” Your breathing hitches as fear flashes through your mind, doing your best to keep your poker face on. Do they know where you work, have they been keeping tabs on you for the last three years? Or maybe they never stop keeping tabs on you. 

“He doesn’t fit the profile, he was seven, from a good family. He was too young there is no way they would take someone from a family like that, it would be too difficult” Your mind spins as you speak, your words speeding up, slipping over each other in a hurry. Hotch hates the far away look that creeps into your eyes, almost more than he hates the numbness that dominates inside you. Taking a deep breath, hoping he doesn’t make it worse, Aaron slowly reaches out to you, placing his hand gently on your shoulder. You flinch sharply, your eyes narrowing on his hand, on his familiar touch. Aaron is the only one allowed to touch you, and only at certain times, only when you're ready for it, and normally you welcome his touch. Today is not the day you welcome it, his touch feels like fire, it sends painful memories of your past through your mind. 

“Don’t” Your voice is low and full of danger, a shaky breath follows as he doesnt let go immediately. 

“You need to tell me if this case gets too much, okay” Aaron words hold no judgement as he lets you go and just like he expected you stroll straight past him, anger radiating off you, as you fall into the chair beside Morgan.

~~~

Hotch starts the briefing, grabbing the team's attention with your homemade files. He informs them of everything you had told him that morning, minus your theories. 

“So you made these files?” It was Morgan who asked the question. The one thing that had confused the whole team, because this screamed to them as an off the books case, something Hotch would never do. 

“No I did” You speak up, leaning forward. You almost feel bored as Hotch gives the team the basic information, information you have been sitting on for many years. Everyone's heads turn straight to you, curiosity and surprised looks all over them. The quiet one who normally seems to keep to themself, is investigating a crime alone, and somehow convince Hotch to make it a real case. Oh you could feel the questions and doubt spreading throughout the room, and all you do is smirk at them as you lean forward.

“I didn’t think much of it at first, but something didn’t feel right so once I saw a second body drop in the same way. I started investigating a bit more, but I was always weeks behind, so in my time of hoping for new leads I went back and searched months back trying to find anything” You give them a brief explanation, making sure you don’t make eye contact with anyone, not needing to lose your nerve right now. The room stays quiet, giving you the confidence to keep talking, so taking a deep calming breath you continue. 

“After I got an alert last night of a kid going missing, I knew it was them. Conor Blue, he fits the description that the unsubs go after. He’s between the age of Nine and fourteen, he came from an abusive household and he’s into sports which isn’t always a go to, but something I see they prefer” You speak slower than this morning, remembering to breathe as you do. Hotch might be hard to convince, but making sure the whole team has your back on this case, is something you didn’t think through. You needed their help, because without the team, you can’t get close enough to get rid of them for good.

“How long have you been looking into this?” Emily asks, looking over at you with concern. She can see ghosts in your eyes, and whatever answer you give her, she’s not going to believe you. 

“About four months” Your lie is solided, you know that, you made sure all the files you gave them only look that old. Even if they have older information inside you can say it's from research. 

“He came to me this morning, and I have been on the phone with a few detectives” Aaron glances at you as he says that, your stomach drops. He knows you used your FBI statues to gather information you weren’t supposed to have, opps. “And It seems to be happening all over the country, so we need to make a fast move on this case, two new bodies were discovered this morning” Hotch continues, the team watches you instead of Hotch. They all notice the tense look on your face, the way your eyes darken, your lips tightening as a way to stop yourself from interrupting the boss. Photos pop up on the screen as Hotch keeps speaking, your eyes land on the photos, your stomach twisting. Jason laid in the dirt, his body covered in bruises and blood, a hopeless look in his eyes. But what makes your mind ache is the body laying beside the ten year old boy. A 20 year old guy. He looks strong, someone who you know could only live that long in that place, if they were extremely strong and brave. The marks around his neck send a shiver down your body, your stomach swooshes so much you think you're going to be ill. He’s the only one that ages with that mark, and there is only one guy who would do that. He’s still there, and that's all your fault.

~~~

“So (Y/n), any theories?” Rossi the one to ask you, his eyes on the notebook that you're clutching tightly.

“Quite a few” You glance up at Hotch, silently asking for permission to take over, he gives a quick nod and with that it's your turn. “It's a team, I want to say at least two older ones that have been doing this for many, many years, and if anyone has lasted long enough they would train them to join them, using them to find more opposition. They need a good routine of fighters, more opportunity for them to grow” You speak in a matter of fact, your fingers tapping away at the table.

“What makes you think they are fighting each other?” JJ glances at you from the photos.

“Easy, look at them, there is only one way someone can get that many bruises and cuts on them. Also not to mention the autopsy results mention multiple broken bones that have healed, internal bleeding due to multiple blunt force trauma”  Your not sure why but air soon becomes harder to inhale, it feels thick and the room starts heating up. Everyones eyes are on you, but you can’t look at them so you're focusing on the files in front of you instead. “Also look at their hands, they aren’t just defensive wounds, they fit back, also they are strong, it's like they train them. Plus they are well nourished so I guess someone is looking after them, my guess is a women is one of our unsubs” 

“That’s one hell of a theory” Morgan says, his eyes burning into you. His gut is full of distrust when it comes to you with this case, something doesn't seem right.

“I know, but have a look and you will see why I’m right, also this case is nothing like we are use to, I have many theories and most of them are strange but, you can see why” You speak from gritting teeth, your hand now gripping the table in front of you. 

“We are going to Nebraska, wheels up in thirty” Aaron eyes stay on you as you zoom out of the room, dying for some fresh air. 

~~~

“Jupiter wake up” Her viciouses voice fills your ears, as a piercing pain invades your side. A sharp hiss slips through your lips as your eyes shoot open, your body shooting up into a sitting position, pushing the thin blanket to the side. Inside you feel numb, nothing inside you is alive anymore, years of training has made you the perfect soldier. 

“Morning Ma’am” Your voice is emotionless, your eyes are dead as you stand up looking up at her. Keeping your hands behind you, your head slightly bent. 

“We have a new comer, you are to welcome them this morning, I don’t care if they live or die just clean up your mess” Her voice is assertive, a cunning look on her face as she leads you down the hall and past the other trainee soldiers. Some of them are still asleep, most of them without blankets, only winners get comfort items. You stroll past the training room where your fellow soldiers are lifting weights before being allowed to eat. You glance at them a part of you wishing you could join them, but that's not your task this morning. Instead you get to fight, and you get to choose the outcome, oh you do enjoy these fights. You always win, and even better, it doesn’t take much effort. Ma’am leads you to the empty swimming pool, where most fights to the death take place. As you walk over to the edge you spot your opponent, he looks small and extremely frightened, barely a challenge. He’s already got blood over his face as he hides on the corner of the pool, the area where the bloodstains seem to be less. A small chuckle leaves you as you check him out, the thoughts of destroying him winding you up. Licking your lips softly before glancing over at Ma’am waiting for permission to go down.

“Go on, but try and make it fair” She laughs softly, enjoying the murderous gaze in your eyes. In a matter of seconds you're jumping into the pool, smirking darkly as you make your way over to him. The boy looks to be about 14 or 15, a couple years or so younger than you. He looks up at you, a confused and scared look plastered over his face, it grows when you stop a few metres back from him. 

“Y you… you're alive” His whisper is barely audible, but it makes you freeze. That voice, you know that voice, how? 

“Come here, now” You growl at him, gritting your teeth as you stare into his eyes.

“I thought you died (Y/n)” He takes a small step forward staring at you with hope. Oh how wrong that looks for a place like this. 

“That's not my name” You spit at him, a horrible shiver dripping down your spine. 

“Yes it is” He speaks more confidently as he steps closer. “Your name is (Y/n), we used to be friends” That name, why do you know that name, it's wrong, it's so wrong. 

“I don’t know you” You sneer at him, taking a step towards him, dangour radiating off you.

“Yes you do, we used to be best friends, (Y/n) please you have to remember me, its Ryan” He begs you to remember. You freeze, Ryan. You know a Ryan, but he’s younger than him, Ryan was ten last time you saw him. But this can’t be him, because that part of your life is long gone, and who the hell does this guy think he is turning up claiming to be a part of that time. You react quickly with a sharp growl escaping you as you launch yourself on him.

“I don’t know you!” You scream as you grab him by his neck, and punch him repeatedly with your other hand. You're a lot stronger than him, using all your strength to pound into him. You let go of his neck, he falls forward with a gasp, begging you to stop but it falls on deaf ears. You knee him in the stomach as he falls forward, grabbing his hair holding him in place as you let him have it. 

“I don't know you” You scream as your anger explodes. “I don’t know (Y/n)!” You shove him into the wall, his body slides down, so you kick him, as you scream repeatedly. “I don't know Ryan” You keep screaming, blood starts to pile around him, as you lose control. “I don’t know you!”

~~~

“I don’t know you!” A scream invades the quietness of the jet. Everyone's head turns towards the scream full of pain, landing on you. You're asleep at the back of the jet, shaking violently with tears streaming down your face. Aaron is up in a matter of seconds, running quickly towards you. The team stays quiet, letting Hotch take control of this situation. He drops to his knees beside you, small whimpers and cries leaves you as you stay dead asleep. 

“(Y/n), wake up” He places his hand firmly on your arm, giving you a rough shake. But nothing, you stay asleep but your cries get louder. 

(Y/n), open your eyes” Aaron shakes you again sharper and luck is on his side. Your eyes shoot open, breathing heavily as you scan your surroundings. The jet, you're on the jet, with your team. Oh shit your team, everyone is watching you, they stare at you with unreadable emotions on their faces, and you hate it. Soon you let your eyes drop down to the man beside you, fear enters you quickly, yanking away from his touch you straighten up quickly.

“Sir, I’m so sorry sir I didn’t mean to fall asleep, I am extremely sorry sir It won’t happen again” Your words fly out of you with fear, your breathing picking up, your hands shaking uncontrollably as you watch him, waiting for the punishment. 

“It's okay” Aaron gulps, hating the fear you're experiencing, the panic attack that’s consuming you. “You are okay, you are safe here” Aaron speaks calmly, taking the chance to place his hand on yours, he’s grateful you don’t pull back.

“I didn’t mean to fall asleep” Your voice grows quiet, your lip quivering as the adrenaline dies down. 

“It's okay you're allowed to fall asleep” Aaron reassures you, his thumb running over the back of your hand smoothly.

“I am?” You look up at him hopeful, your eyes full of tears. You almost seem child-like as you ask that simple question.

“Yes you are, I only woke you because you were having a nightmare” Aaron smiles softly at you, hoping he doesn’t embarrass you as he informs you.

“Oh no” You yank away from his touch, panic filling you. You know you sleep talk occasionally, what the hell did you say?

“We all get them, its okay”

“No.. what did I say?” You stare at him with a look of horror. Aaron's face drops, he knows that look, he’s seen it almost everyday of this job. A look victims have when they open up to much of their past, scared their abusiver will come back for them.

“You didn’t say much” He tries his best to comfort you but he knows that determined look in your eyes. “You said ‘I don't know you’ ” 

A small sigh leaves you as you lean your head back in relief, that's all you said then you are fine, you can recover from that. “Thank you” You force a small smile, before raising your voice, turning to look at your coworkers who all seem to be pretending not to pay attention anymore.

“Sorry for disturbing you”

“You're not disturbing us” Hotch is quick to correct you, hating to think that you would think you're a bother. “If you want to talk about it–”

“No thank you, I’m fine” You interpret him quickly, a sharp glare and turning your back to him is all the dismissal he needs. 

~~~

You're in the SUV with Morgan and Rossi, heading downtown to the morgue. You sat in the back seat, reading through the Jason Ducan files, before sighing loudly and laying your head back. The two men in the front seat share some curious looks before glancing back at you.

“You alright back there” Morgan questions you, a small smile on his face.

“Not at all, this makes no sense at all” rubbing your forehead as the frustration causes another headache. “Why the hell did they take Jason Ducan three years ago he doesn’t fit the profile and they wouldn’t of dumped him like that he would of hide the body better, you would think they know not to show of the bodies we are investigating” You can’t hide the frustration and anger invading you, your hand squeezing into fist and you think back. He was a clue back then yet you were so focused on moving on you didn’t see it, this is bad. 

“Maybe your profile is wrong” Dave shrugs as he speaks, as if it's a casual thing.

“My profile is not wrong!” You snap at him, the anger burning away at your chest.

“I still don’t understand your interest in this case” Derek turns around to face you, a distrustful look in his eyes, one you can’t help but return.

“Well, no one was looking into it, someone has to care. I'm sorry if that irritates you Derek” Glaring deadly at him, as his eyes widen just slightly at your comeback before turning back to the front.

“I was just asking.'' He grumbles before glancing at Dave who is staring at you through the rearview mirror, watching as your face drops as you cross your arms. 

~~~

You are shown the bodies and as the doctor talks you can’t hear her, the words flying over your head as you grab some gloves and start touching the bodies. Three pairs of eyes on you, watching like a hawk as you move like lightning. Your hands travel around the older unnamed victim's neck. The dark unformed bruises with a slight cut you can tell were made with wire, your stomach spinning as you move away from it and down to his feet. 

“His neck wound was made by wire” You state as you kneel down by his feet, anger flooding through you as you see the scars. They are doing it again. “Holy shit” Your words are barely audible, but Morgan catches them, his eyebrow narrowing as he watches you.

“What did you find (Y/l)” Morgan makes his way over to you, spotting fear deep inside your eyes before you quickly mask the emotion once more.

“You need to ring Garcia” You look up at him, gulping thickly. “I think they are recording them” 

“What, how can you tell?” It's Rossi that asks as he walks over, joining you and Morgan at the feet of the victims. 

“Look at this” You show them the bottom of the left foot of the victim, where a big L is cut into along with the name victory which looks like it has been tried to be cut out. 

“Okay” Morgan looks at you puzzled. “How did you get that they recorded them from this?”

“The L, It means they lost, I bet they showed this to the camera to show them that they truly did lose this time” Maybe what you said doesn’t make sense to the profilers, but it's what they do. But they stopped, you know they stopped. You couldn’t find them on the dark web so they had to have stopped but you never relooked when the bodies started dropping again. 

“You can’t know that” Morgan goes to argue with you, a hand on his arm stops him. He turns his head to see Dave shaking his head at him. Morgan stares at him stumped wanting to argue but he can read that look in Dave’s eyes, there is something more going on here. 

“It makes sense, they can earn money this way and also they are sick twisted little fuckers who can find other twisted fuckers to enjoy in on their torment as well” You speak quickly as you pull your phone out, taking photos of his foot. 

“Okay I guess I’ll call Penelope then” Morgan sighs glancing at the dead set look on your face before walking out. You go to move onto Jason Ducan, touching his foot lightly before freezing. You stare at him for a few moments, your body frozen in place. He’s too young, his family loved him. How could they take him from them? It doesn't make sense.

“(Y/n), do you want me to do it?” Dave calls out to you kindly, breaking up your thoughts.

“No I got it” You reply letting out a small breath before pulling back his foot and taking a photo. A small W has been crossed out and replaced with a L, your heart crashing into your stomach as you see it. In a flash you're pulling away and making your way outside for some fresh air.

~~~

You lean against the SUV as you ring Reid, who is driving to see the other body that was discovered last night. 

“Hey (Y/l), You're on speaker phone” You can hear Reid smile through the phone.

“Hey guys, are you at the body yet?” You focus on slowly your racing heart beat as you speak to them, readying yourself to pass on the information.

“Not yet, we are still two and half hours out from the town” Emily response, glancing at the phone as she drives. 

“Okay that's fine, I just have a few things I need you to look at when you get there” Taking a breath as you think back to the cut on Jason's foot. “On his left foot I need you to see if there is anything cut into it, I am sending you a photo of the other two victims' feet okay” You quickly send them the photos.

“Okay I got it” Reid replies after a few moments.

“Oh that's gross” Emily groans.

“That's because you hate feet” Smirking just a little at her reaction.

“It's not my fault they are smelly and gross” She laughs just a little.

“Also you two should be driving through a small town called Cobar, it's a small town with a big population of homeless teenages It might pay to stop and talk to them, see if they have seen anything out of place lately” You take a sharp breath as a strange feeling starts filling you as you think about that place.

“Sure we can do that” Emily nods, her face tightening into a frown. “Hey, um are you okay?” 

“I'm good, why?” Your lips pull into a thin line as you line.

“Because this case seems to be weighing on you alot” She explains, tapping her finger on the steering wheel.

“Nope It's just another case, I gotta go” You quickly hang up before she can ask more questions. Reid and Prentiss share some strange and concerning looks as the phone beeps.

“What is he hiding?” Emily mumbles to herself as she stares out at the road.

~~~

The rest of the day goes by quickly, you three end up meeting up with JJ and Hotch back at the precinct. Rossi and Morgan go and talk with Jason Duncan's parents once they arrive trying to get more information from them. JJ works with other precincts where the other bodies and missing boys have been reported, trying to get all the information she can. You and Hotch work together trying to organise a timeline for the last 12 months, and with all the information you already have some parts are easy to fill in. Until he starts questioning you on the one part you can’t answer. 

“They shouldn’t be here, they should have gone east” Hotch sighs as you both stare at the map laid across the table. 

“I agree but they didn’t” You don’t agree with that, but according to the timeline it makes sense. 

“But do you agree?” Hotch looks up at you, doubt playing across his face. 

“What are you getting at Hotch?” Huffing little as you pick up your coffee, staring back at him.

“You said they would be coming this way, so why would you think that?” There’s his stern look eating at you. Making your stomach sink as you hide the truth from him. The truth is, you know their base is around here. This town is the first thing you remember when you escape but you can’t tell him that, no one can know. 

“I don't know” You lie, and it's a bad one.

“Don’t lie to me” 

“I'm not lying!” You don’t mean to snap at him, but fear and guilt were eating away at you and you can’t contain it anymore.

“Then tell me the truth” His words are sharp and to the point, but his face stays calm, his eyes soft and caring as he stares at you.

“Fine, I had a feeling like this town means something, because look at the pattern here Aaron” Your shoulders tenses up as you lean forward, pointing at the map. “Look, they always avoid this town, and they always avoided leaving bodies in this state until last night so since they did that I decided to take a risk and wait for them to leave us something around here and do you want to know what I’m thinking right now” A smirk slips onto your lips as you speak, a feeling of excitement spreads throughout you as you share your idea.

“You think their base is around here” Aaron finishes your thought, not liking that smirk on your face. 

“Exactly and if they left us this breadcrumb it only means two things, one they are somehow becoming sloppy or two—”

“They know you are investigating them” He finishes your sentence again, dread filling him due to just how close you are to this investigation.

“Not me, but someone yes and we can use that” 

“How?” 

Luckily Aaron's phone rings just before you have to answer that.

“It's Garcia” He glances at you before answering it, placing it on speaker. “Hey Garcia, what do you got?”

“Well boss man, I got good news and some gross news” Penelope's sweet voice floats through the phone. 

“What's the good news Garica?” You straighten up as you hope.

“Well our unnamed victim is Liam Clark, he’s 19 years old and went missing five years ago in florida” Garcia informs you both just as the door to the conference room opens and the rest of the team walks in. 

“Alright, can you send through his family information please” You sigh, leaning backwards in your chair, the stress of the case becoming too much. 

“Will do my love, now are we ready for some more information?” Her voice starts filling with dread as she types aways.

“Hit us with the good stuff baby girl” Morgan speaks up, coming to sit on the edge of the table by the phone.

“Oh I wish it was good news chocolate thunder, but (Y/n) was right.” She sighs as Aaron phones dings. “I found their profile on the dark web and all their live streams have been saved, there are hundreds of them, maybe even closer to a thousand, and they got back many, many years” She takes a deep breath before continuing. “I haven’t looked at them all yet but there are some that are over 25 years old” 

Your heart sinks, your palms becoming sweaty as realisation sits in. Your videos are still up, your team could find out in a matter of seconds what you are. 

“25 years…” Your voice is as quiet as a mouse, your throat tightening up as your team glances over at you. “How did no one see this?” Your voice gets louder, filling with anger as you jump to your feet. 

“They hide their tracks well” Reid speaks up, his eyes focused on you.

“Bullshit, no one can hide their tracks that well!”

“Okay you need to take a breath” Hotch gets up, walking closer to you. Watching the anger firing up inside your eyes.

“No, we need to find these monsters and make them pay, they have hurt and ruined so many innocent people's lives” You spit the words out, your hands squeezing into fist. 

“Is that all?” Morgan questions you, getting up, standing uncomfortably close to you.

“What's that meant to mean!?” Your body is already in defensive mode, locking itself down as Morgan has a determined look inside his own. 

“Well you seem to be hiding something from us and I would like to know what that is?” His questioning is dangerous, he steps closer to you. The rest of the room falls quiet, your eyes burning into his.

“How about, none of your damn business Morgan”

“It is my business when you drag us into it” He huffs back at you. “Just tell us what you're hiding” He steps closer, his breath lingering on your skin.

“Back the fuck up Derek” Your voice is lower, and full of danger. You can feel yourself about to snap and if you do, you don’t think you will be able to stop.

“We barely know you, so why don’t you just tell us what the hell is going on” Derek demands to know “What is wrong with you (Y/n)?” His hand raises up, and before you can process what is happening. Bam. Your fist collides with his mouth and you see red as he stumbles backwards. You follow him, a low growl leaves you as you punch him again, this time aiming for his eyes. He manages to block, trying to hold you back, but you don’t stop trying to get a blow on him. You can hear voices all around you but you can’t hear past the blood rushing in your ears. Soon there are arms wrapping around you from behind, pulling you away from Morgan. You struggle against them trying to break free as you stare daggering at Morgan who is being confronted by three people of your team, you don’t recognize them. Soon there is another person in your way, your body tenses as you see them. They quickly place their hands on your cheeks which make you freeze, the anger vanishing from inside you. Your vision starts easing up and faces start becoming recognizable. The person who is holding your face gently, has beautiful eyes, and a soft smile.

“Your safe (Y/n)” JJ speaks softly, “Just take some breaths” You stare at her, and soon start copying her breathing. Rossi lets you go, moving towards the rest of the team as you calm down.

“Let me go JJ” Your words are as cold as ice, the numb empty look in your eyes being replaced by guilt and anger. 

“Okay” She takes a breath before removing her hands and as soon as she does you bolt out the door.

~~~

You keep running once you get outside, you don’t stop, you can’t, you just can’t. Your mind is spinning and the only way you know how to get it to become quiet again, is to run. So that's what you do, you run. The sun is already set so you enjoy the darkness as you run. You can’t believe you lost it and punch Morgan, but what the hell is he getting at? Now what the hell are you meant to say, what lie are you meant to produce that will cover your ass. You're not sure how long you have been running for, but you're running out of breath when you see a corner store and think oh why not. Checking you have your wallet you head inside grabbing a bottle of water and a pack of cigarettes. Walking back out you open it, throwing the rubbish in the bin before lighting it and taking a long drag. Closing your eyes as you inhale it, it's been a long time since you last smoked and god does it just hit right tonight. Slowly you begin walking back to the precinct, enjoying the nicotine hit. You know you're about halfway to the precinct when you decide to check your phone after feeling it ring a few times. 

Missed phone calls: Aaron Hotchner (6)

Penelope Garcia (3)

You're not sure how many smokes you have consumed already but the pack is way lighter than it used to be. You really should ring them back instead of lighting another one, but oh well you think as you bring one more to your lips. Pulling out the lighter just as a car pulls up beside you, groaning softly as you recognize it. You keep walking, not caring to look at him as he rolls the window down. 

“Get in the car” Hotch yells at you, following you.

“Nope” You go to light the smoke instead when he stops the car and gets out. 

“We are an hour walk from the precinct, get the hell in” Aaron doesn’t bother to hide his anger, holding himself back from grabbing that cigarette from your hand.

“Or what?”

“Or you're fired, and I’ll leave you here” He huffs angrily, seeing you weighing up your options.

“Fine” You take a long drag on your smoke before stomping it out and climbing in.

~~~

The ride back is quiet, as you stare out the window.

“How angry is everyone?” Your voice is quiet and empty. Almost empty because Aaron can detect a small trail of sadness and fear in your words. 

“Morgan winded you up on purpose, he pushed you too far. That wasn’t okay what either of you two did” Hotch ignored your question, because he knew you wouldn’t accept that fact no one is angry. No, everyone is just worried and concerned about you, something you don’t know how to spot or accept when it comes to yourself. He wishes you could just trust the team, trust him enough to let them help. 

“I have a past” You pull yourself closer as you stare out the window, thinking about your next words carefully. 

“You don’t have to tell me” Aaron quickly tells you softly, needing you to know there is no rush.

“And if I do want to tell you?” You glance at him quickly, and for a moment you forget he is your boss and see him in the light of your friend. 

“Then I'm here to listen” He smiles lightly at you. You nod quickly looking back out the window, and then slowly you move your hand towards him, which he happily takes sliding his fingers between yours.

“I was abused growing up, no one cared and nobody knew, I never told anyone” You stare out the window, emotions settling down as you speak. “This case brings back memories I never wanted to relieve back up, I have to find these people so that we can save these kids” Your voice is sweet as you speak, this is a side no one but Aaron ever gets to see.

“And we will get them and we will get them help” Aaron smiles weakly as he pulls up. “But once this case is over we need to get you some help too, okay?” His thumb slides over your hand as you glance at him. If only he knew that nothing on earth can help you, and at the end of this case you don’t think you will still be on this team.

“Okay” You nod forcing a small smile before pulling away and making your way inside.

~~~

You walk in quietly, followed by Aaron. The team is staring up at the tv, watching some of the latest fights. You freeze as you catch a glance of his face on the screen. You knew he was still there but the look in his eyes is killing you. He's gone, replaced by a murderous robot, his skills are fast and sharp. 

“Ryan” His name slips off your tongue before you can stop it, your body tenses up as you stare at the screen and the way he gets his opponent down in one quick move. Emily pauses it as everyone's head turns to you once more. This time everyone looks at you with concern as they see the tears forming in your eyes, which you quickly push away once you let everyone get a good look.

“You know him?” Reid asks you, tilting his head as he asks you. 

“Um y yeah..” You take a deep breath. “I went to school with him” It's a lie, but you know it's golden. “He went missing when he was around 15 years old, we were best friends then one day he didn't turn up to school and well” You take  a deep breath as Aaron leads you to a chair, your arms shaking just a little. “He was officially determined missing a week later, his parents were absent, they didn’t care for him” That wasn’t a lie, he told you about his parents and how much they hurt him and how they were barely at home. 

“Oh (Y/n)” JJ places her hand softly on the table beside your hand, not touching but showing you she is here for you. You give her a soft smile in response. 

“If he’s been there this whole time it's been twelve years” Twelve years, he is never going to be the same.

“Jesus christ” Morgan groans with regret as he looks at you. “That's what you were hiding?”

“I had a feeling he was there.. I was just hoping I was wrong” Your voice is weak and tiredness is starting to take over. It's been almost 48 hours since you last slept.

“Now we got a lead, tomorrow we get Garcia to look into him but let's call it a night it's late we all need sleep” Hotch states, everyone nodding in agreement including you as you stare at Ryan's face on the screen. That's all your fault.

[blueishspace]

Hero, Villain God 53

(Prev) (Next) (First)

*Grian*

You choose to wait at least another week to return to your body and It's really unbearable, It's just so boring. You even tried following Scar around to see what he did but he just moped around and lied in bed all day, you appreciate the worry but come on!

...You also know a week is also way too short of a time to make the whole healing process look realistic but you really want to go back and be done with this already.

So you just have to jump back into the vessel and It's done, easy peasy...except you don't, you are called by someone and you stop in place.

First is annoyance, who is calling for you right now? You don't exactly have worshipper so it isn't a prayer...ugh, that didn't feel like Pearl either, not in the slightliest, felt more like electricity...

Then comes the curiosity, after all this never happened before! It's kinda exciting! So, of course, you follow the call... And then you see him, on a roof, a green streak of hair and a mask on his face, Altostratus. He turns towards you, so he's the one that called?

"Altostratus?"

... Wait, why is he here?? He's just another hero?? How did he do that? How can he even see you? Or know that you are here in the first place? Then comes the realization and you sigh loudly, he's another god because of course he is. Why is this the second time you meet another god? Who even is he? There are no gods called "Altostratus", no important ones at least.

"Nasty wound you got there lad"

Wait, you recognize that voice, you know this guy...

"Jeremy?"

"Well... That ruins the dramatic reveal I had in mind... Also call me Joel from now, Jeremy is already a bit overused anyway You would not believe how many mortal parents name their children Jeremy."

Considering he is the main god of a major religion named after him...you can guess.

...

Right, to more important things... He copied your whole idea! That's so embarassing of him.

"Humans got superpowers like six decades ago and nobody got involved but when I do suddenly everyone else is doing it as well? I see how it is."

"Oh shut up, I've been here for years now, longer then you have Gr- wait, there are more gods here?"

Oh...oh he doesn't know. Hmmm, how to explain it to him?

"There's Santa Perla, yeah."

"Why is she here???"

"I don't know, why are you here?"

"Because I wanted to be."

He does realize that answer is just going to make you curious? No one who has a normal reason would act so cagey about it. ... Wait just a moment.

"How did you know my body got shot?"

"I'm the sky, I see everything."

Uh huh...you see how he wants to play it, does he really think he can outwit you that easily? You can see his tells, he's way to expressive even with his mask on.

"You might, so do I... But I don't pay attention to all of it and for a fact neither do you."

"I could be."

"You could but you don't. So how did you know?"

"Who do you think called the hero association about the vigilantes in las nevadas?"

...oh, he did not just say that, he's the one that caused Scar to die in like five different ways! Even worse he's the reason you had to absolutely nothing for a week!

"YOU!"

"Ok maybe I shouldn't - what are you doing? Hey!"

You launch rocks at him a bunch...and again.

"Wha- hey stop it, stop!"

"I knew we were being sneaky and there was no way someone would have seen it!"

"Well, I am someone-" You trow another rock at him for good measure.

"You don't count."

You huff, you'll get your revenge on him eventually. Can't believe your vessel got shot because of this guy being a snitch.

After a while of akward silence Joel tries to restart the conversation.

"Well... I'm sure you have questions. I am ready to-"

"Not really"

. . . Oh wow, his face, you can see a vein on his forehead, you can't help laughing at it. He doesn't seem amused as he tries and fails to swipe at you.

"OK... Well I do"

"Cool" You don't even look at him as you say that, peak disrespect.

"Don't cool me!"

"K"

The sky darkens, thunder rumbles. Oh yeah, sky god, forgot about that. "Ugh, why do you have to be so annoying?!?"

"It's just who I am, I'm the god of chaos not polite small talk"

"You are the god of chaos not of being a little shit!"

You hum a low note, make a pensive expression and then shrug. "Debatable"

He grits his teeth and screams silently, honestly you expected him to explode at you way earlier, that's an A plus in compousure.

"Soo... are we done? I have a vessel to go back to"

"No!"

Oh you think you have found the perfect revenge, at least for now...Joel is so pissed off already and is trying so hard to hide it ... As if the growing storm could be hidden.

"Why are you..."

He sighs to compose himself again, really earning that A plus.

"Xelqua- Grian you need to tell me... what did you came here to do? What *did* you do?"

"I don't *need* to tell you anything."

He twiches, he's probably not used to arguing with people like you... Or maybe he's just bad at arguing with people in general.

"...I would like you to?"

"Hmmm...Only if you tell me what you have been up to."

His eyes narrow and he crosses his arms. "I thought you said you didn't care about me being here and that didn't have any questions for me."

"I changed my mind. I'm the god of chaos, I'm unpredictable like that"

You giggle at that, that's not even a complete lie most of the time and it still peeved him.

"I...see."

"Sooo..? Do we play twenty questions now or?"

You can see as his fist tighten. "Just-... sure! Whatever! If that is what it takes."