#I swear

[i-lick-your-gun]

This is exactly what extroverts do with their introvert.

If I was 0,3 points more unhinged I'd introduce my boyfriend to people the exact same way Steve Irwin showed off random animals. Unexpectedly pulling him out of a random bush, wrestling him down and wrangling him up to where people can see him like "look at this beauty! gorgeous creature, isn't he?" while people are like dude what the fuck, and he's just doing his best to quietly and discreetly wiggle out of my grip and get back to the hiding place I pulled him out of.

[ver-lecstappen]

📢 Max talks about the feeling of having an amazing overtake and competitive battle in the last laps of the Chinese Grand Prix 2025:

Max: "Yeah, I'm hard as fuck, sexy battle with that pretty twink. I'll thank him later. Great race, still not perfect but the pace was there."

[notadreamurr]

@justwantswafflefries i think they should get married and go on a honeymoon trip to the bahamas 👉👈

[k4lenz]

i loved you first ✮ chapter 1.

(ted nivison x fem!reader)

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

a/n: i’ve been listening to the song 'i love you, i'm sorry' on repeat, and something hit me really hard about it. so i decided to write an angst fic very much loosely based on the lyrics! childhood best friend!ted that you used to do everything with. i was crashing out hard while writing this, can you tell?? anyway enjoy chapter 1 ahhhhh ALSO I KNOW THIS IS ANGST I SWEAR CHAPTER 2 ITLL GET BETTER IM SORRY but also chapter 2 is gonna be more of this song coded oops. idk if i love this but i hope u guys do :)

playlist: click right here bb

notes: angst, fluff, dating, growing up together, YEARNING, underage drinking, dating, drugs, coming of age, highschool, university, that damn Toyota Tacoma, lunch club + SMPlive mentions, parents mentioned

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

2008. Your parents moved into his hometown in Massachusetts when you were just shy of 10, and became friends with his parents who lived just a few streets away. You shyly greeted him for the first time, and you two just clicked.

You were inseparable from then on, and your parents were so thankful they sent you to the same primary school. And then it continued into middle school, and even highschool. Attached at the hip.

For his 16th birthday, 2014, you bought Ted a polaroid camera. Shabby money you’d gathered up from chores around the house and a job at a cafe. You’d bought him an album for the pictures too, your both signed the back of it. Nonetheless, it still got you the gift. From then on, it was his favourite gift he’d ever gotten. Even if you told him he didn’t have to say that, you’d sparked an interest of photography in him from the beginning.

People, especially your friends, were always suspicious you two were dating. Rather, you’d both always wave it off with a “gross!” and a laugh.

Despite the lingering touches, on your waist, a hand around your shoulders, a jab in your side, a squeeze in your hand, your hand in his hair.

You two were just friends.

✮

Halfway through the winter, the ground icy and snow piling. January 17th, 2015. He was freshly 17, slowly growing out of his boyish features with his very own 2002 Green Toyota Tacoma and a proper license. So proud of himself.

He’d not come to school on the day because he’d had his test (and he hadn’t wanted to waste his birthday-day doing it the day before).

4pm sharp he was out the front of your house, beeping the horn of his newly owned car and a that big childish grin on his face. The look on his face was familiar to you, like home, recognisable throughout the years and never changing.

You ran out the front door giggling, tripping over your own feet in excitement as he got out of his car and came around to open the passenger side door for you. Giving you a little poke before getting back in the car.

“Y’like it?” “I’ll like it more when you drive me to school every morning! “If I have to.” He’d sigh, albeit exaggerated, but secretly his heart would warm. He’d made you take a picture of him with the car, too. And he’d snuck one of you with it when you weren’t looking.

The winter weather slowly faded, preparing itself for the blossoming flowers of Spring.

Valentine’s Day, 2015. He was beeping again out the front of your house, to your parents usual annoyance and a disturbance to your neighbourhood.

But to give him credit, you’d told him to pick you up 5pm because you’d asked him for more time to get ready. And it was 5:05pm.

You came out of your front door with the biggest smile on your face, cheeks tinged pink, tucking your hair behind your ear, as he stood there with one hand behind his back and the other holding the passenger door open for you.

“What’cha got there, Teddy?” You teased, as he handed you the bouquet of roses, proclaiming they were platonic and watching you giggle.

“Thankyou. They’re beautiful.”

You’re beautiful. is what he wanted to say. And they’re not platonic. And I love you and I always have, since the minute I laid eyes on you.

But instead he grabbed his polaroid camera once you’d sat down in the passenger seat, wanting to snap a picture of you holding the flowers. He used the camera to hide the blush on his cheeks.

Click. He was just saying it in his own way.

You two drove down to the lake, sitting in his car eating snacks you’d bought on the way there and laughing about everything and nothing. Just you two against the world.

His eyes glanced at your lips, and then met your eyes again. Your eyes stared through his soul, your lips found his as if that was all they were ever made to do. The night ended in soft whispers, giggles, his hands on your waist and your arms around his neck, lips interlocked as if they could never part again. as if you were each others air.

Quiet promises of relationships. You two never announced it, but you didn’t ever need to, you came into school holding hands and nobody batted an eye. Like it was bound to happen. As if everybody but you two knew and kept the secret to themselves, waiting for you to finally figure it out.

✮

Many nights were spent sneaking into each other’s houses, into each other’s beds, holding each other close. Beds warm with each other, he typically preferred sneaking into your house. Your sheets warmer, fluffier. More you.

You studied together, stayed together, and worked hard for your final moments of highschool.

You couldn’t have done it without him, and he couldn’t have done it without you.

May, or April, 2016. Prom night. You couldn’t quite remember. The memories got fuzzier as time passed, you’d admit. He waited downstairs, talking to your parents in his best suit and tie, the colour matching your own dress as you finally came down the stairs. He was speechless, his eyes simply absorbing you. He had to make sure the flowers in his hand didn’t drop as he handed them to you and your hand found his chest.

“You okay there, Teddy?” You laughed fondly, eyes glittering and amused.

“You’re the most stunning thing I’ve seen in my entire life.” He’d reply, entranced. Your parents shared a look, raising eyebrows to each other knowing he was the right one for you.

Most of your night spent on the dance floor, twirls and dips and laughter. Your friends altogether, but to him it felt like you were the only person in the room, when he dipped you and kissed you to his favourite song. Your friends gagging playfully, saying you two were straight out of a Disney movie.

The night held a party after with everyone in your year, at some guy’s house you hardly remember. The taste of alcohol on your lips, and Ted’s, you recalled. Snapping drunk Polaroid pictures and singing (screaming) the most popular music like you’d never hear it again.

June 16th, 2016. You wore your graduation caps and robes. He picked you up at 9am, the ceremony started at 11.

He knocked on the door, hair styled, glasses on, robes on, and his graduate cap. Greeting your parents with warm smiles, hugs, and congratulations at your front door as you told them you’d go with Ted and meet them there. It felt like home. He felt like home.

Your parents snapping a picture of you two walking down the driveway hand in hand and sending it to his parents. That picture was your lock screen on your phone for a good long while.

That same stupid damn truck waiting for you in the driveway.

“You look incredible.” He murmured in your ear, voice as sweet as honey, pulling you in for a kiss as soon as he’d opened the door for you to get in the car. You were sure your parents were still watching, but you kissed him back anyway. “You’re not too bad yourself, handsome.”

You sat at the spot hear the lake in the car again, for that extra hour you had. You weren’t too heavy hearted, not at all, because you’d both gotten accepted into Ithaca College in New York. Even though everything would be changing, you would have everything changing together. You’d even found a sweet little apartment together, close by to campus. You’d gotten a job at a café down the road, and he was doing editing on YouTube.

You were reminiscing on your best memories of Massachusetts. Of how you met. Of school.

You two against the world.

You and your family cheered loud when your boyfriend got up on the podium and accepted his certificate, your parents sitting right next to his, and you still waiting in line.

His eyes first found his parents, your parents, and then you.

It was always you.

Him and his family cheered loud when you got your own certificate. He was already lined up with the rest of the fellow graduates, holding up his certificate. But he was simply entranced by your wide smile and laughter.

Your eyes first found your parents, his parents, and then him.

It was always him.

Always each other.

You went to a party, laughing getting drunk with your friends. Celebrating what you’d call freedom. Hand in hand. You’d stumbled back into his house, which was now allowed according to your parents and his, because you were both 18.

The next day you were hungover, eyes dreary and heavy with a bit too much alcohol. Regret, pancakes, and those prized hours of sleep.

The day after you were ready. That dumb Toyota Tacoma once again sitting in your driveway at around Midday. Ready for you two to make the trip to Ithaca. The sweltering heat of the start of summer coming down on you two in heavy rays.

Loading your boxes into the car, your parents and his parents chatting in your house. Playfully nudging him while you two walked down the driveway, he gasped.

“Oh, so you want me to drop your precious valuables?”

“No!” You’d squeal, as he set another box down in his boot and lift you up to spin you around. The joy in the air undeniable. Independence and your very own space to yourselves, together.

Everything together. Not a statement, but a promise.

Soft goodbyes to parents, long hugs and promises to call, tears pairing with the new feeling of independence. You felt upset, but also happy. Happy you had set life plans, that you’d graduated and now knew what you were doing, alongside the love of your life.

Ted would always be the love of your life. You were so sure of it at the time.

Endless chatter filled the car as you two drove to Ithaca. He’d insisted on driving, teasing you that you’d crash his car when you’d told him to take a break and let you drive. A few pit stops and many cans is sods and bags of chips later, you were in Ithaca and loading your boxes into your dorm.

Sharing looks at the state of said dorm, but embracing it as your new home anyway. You’d make it your own.

✮

College was hard, but you made time. You were both doing your degrees that went for the same length, and yet you still found time for each other. You always would.

It wasn’t hard to find friends, and considering you and Ted were always attached, you fit in well to a friend group together. Days had studies or work, smoking weed and drinking and parties were what weekend nights held. Kisses and shotgunning, and so much more. Your parents would kill you and his parents would kill him if they knew, but hey, that’s the fun of college.

You watched him start off his YouTube career properly in 2017, as a part time kind of thing. You encouraged him, even, sometimes appearing in the back of his videos. In 2019, sometimes you’d be in a Lunch Club video or two, simply as ‘Ted’s Cool Girlfriend’, and you’d play on his account on SMPLive. You met all of his other friends, and familiarised yourself in his world as the end of your degrees neared.

And yes, you were the girlfriend, with your dad in town, that he had to cancel on when he went to a misfits party during the day, because he did indeed have a 400mg edible. His friends continuously sending you videos of him stuck on the couch, questioning his entire life choices, chugging water for his cottonmouth. Shaking, while narrating the whole situation like it was a storybook. Trying to tough it out. You still have the video on your phone of Schlatt putting a handheld massager on your boyfriend who looks half dead. You’d also made his friends use that old Polaroid camera to take a picture, knowing he’d want to look back at it and laugh.

You’d lied through your teeth to your dad, still laughing at the videos, which hadn’t helped anyway because about a month later Ted posted a video on it anyway. He most definitely got reprimanded by his parents and your own.

✮

As the end of college edged closer, nights were spent studying, or in the library together. Comfortable silences, with the occasional jab or joke. It was all so perfect.

And yet, it almost felt like for once in the last 12 years, you two were living separate lives. Not simply attached at the hip anymore, you two were so different.

You were close, always, but something felt off.

✮

Before you two had began college together, you’d sat in the back of his Toyota Tacoma down at the lake, laying on pillows wrapped up in blankets staring at the stars. A few weeks before highschool graduation.

“We should travel the world together, Teddy. Go see everything amazing out there. You could make a short film of it, or something. Travels with ted.”

His eyes lit up, the prospect of it making him yearn for the future.

“That’s a stupid name.” He teased. “But I like that.”

You giggled, playfully hitting his chest. “I’m being serious!

“As am I, that’s a stupid name. And I want to travel with you.” His lips found yours, he kissed you softly, carefully. To show he meant it. “We can start saving.”

✮

And you did start saving, you both were still saving.

And yet you hadn’t talked about it since at least 2018, hadn’t had time to even think about it. Far too busy with the whirlwinds of the world of New York City and College.

You sat on the couch, May 3rd 2020, exactly one month before your graduation.

He sat on the floor while you sat on the couch, his head between your legs facing away while you two watched a movie. His hands on your legs, your hands in his hair. But something felt distant, you felt distant.

You were lost in your thoughts, anxiety creeping up in your gut. Crawling through your body, seeping into your head. You watched his head move to look back at you, and you blinked.

“Are you okay, honey?” He murmured, those big brown eyes finding yours, his voice soothing but ringing through your ears.

“Yeah. Yeah. I’m good. Why?” You managed to stammer out, tone laced with nervousness. You were never good at lying.

“I said somethin’ about the movie and you didn’t reply.” His eyes narrowed, concerned. It was then he noticed your laboured breath, and the rhythmic tapping of your foot against the floor beside him. He reached for the remote to pause the film, and sat beside you on the couch. His hand finding yours, and his shoulder touching yours.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” The words made your throat feel heavy, your lips parting to speak but nothing coming out. “You look like you’ve got something on your mind.”

I do. The thought rattled in your brain, as you built the courage to speak.

“I do.” You could hear that your own voice was shaky. You swallowed hard. “I was just, thinking.. um..”

“That’s rare.” He teased quietly, holding your hand. You laughed quietly, shaking your head.

His joke brought just that little bit of relief, if only for a brief moment. You found your voice.

“I was thinking about our future.” You paused for a moment.

“I was thinking about us.”

You saw his eyes process the statement that was more of a question, with a blink. A thousand unspoken words on his tongue, and your own too.

Are you still coming with me? Is what you were asking. Are we still going to travel together like we always said we would?

He hesitated, and you knew. A little part of you just knew.

“Everything is going really well for me, here.” He almost sounded shameful. His eyes unable to find yours, you knew they were filled with guilt and empty promises.

You hesitated, this time.

“I don’t want to stay.” You were breathless as the words tumbled out of your mouth.

And at that moment, for the first time, you felt worlds apart. His hand on yours felt distant, nothing else in the room but just.. you. You and your own thoughts.

The words had triggered an argument, tears, a fight or flight response. You slept at your friends dorm that night, yet you’d hardly slept at all.

You came back to open arms the next morning, whispered apologies, flowers and pancakes. And the salty taste of tears.

But it felt over. A certain sinking feeling in your gut, eating you up. You knew he felt it too.

Your greatest fear was right there in front of you. Making your hands shake and your knees weak. You and your other half.

You two were finally growing apart.

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

[t041wastaken]

Oh, I love him with all my heart😞

“you’re falling asleep.”

“I’m awake, sweet girl.”

you don’t believe it for a second. percy’s green eyes are half-lidded as you stare into them. heavy blinking as if there were bricks upon them. his hand, tracing your spine, has grown lighter with its touch, stopping on occasions.

sliding his hand to your waist, percy begins to sit upwards against the headboard to keep himself awake like he says. you follow his new seating position and sit up beside him this time instead of on top of him. yet you keep your body against his.

percy takes your hand, which previously traced his chest, and intertwines it with his, kissing the back of it softly.

“what’re you up to tomorrow?”

you think for a second before responding, “probably nothing. reading, I guess.”

the widest of grins take’s over his mouth. for a majority of last week you’d been as busy as possible so most days were spent outside of cabin three. though this week you had made sure to clear your schedule.

“what’re you reading this time?”

“rereading. shatter me.”

“oh, here we go again.” despite this, percy snakes an arm around your waist and pulls you back to lay on top of him.

“what’s wrong with it?” you laugh. though you are well aware.

“you’re gonna leave me for that psycho blond dude.”

“never.” you slip your arms around percy’s neck and press a kiss to his cheek. “I think I’m gonna finish off the rest of my cake tomorrow too.”

“do I get a say in that?” his hand rubs your back soothingly.

“I’ll give you a sliver. but I get the rest.”

“atta girl.”

“that was meant to be insulting.” you lift your head from his shoulder, throwing him an unamused look. he only smiles in return, using this opportunity to place a swift kiss to your lips.

“yeah, but I like when you’re mean to me. turns me on.”

you dramatically drop your head back onto his shoulder with a huff. “you are a piece of work.”

“I think you mean art, sweet girl.”

you roll your eyes whilst tangling your legs with his. “whatever helps you sleep at night.”

“for the majority, you do.”

you grimace. “you’re weird.”

with a smirk, percy responds, “I’m starting to think you’re now bullying me because you know that—”

“shhhh.” you place your index over his lips with a shake of your head. he kisses your finger twice.

“my mouth is sealed if you want it to be, sweet girl.”

you don’t wish for it. you enjoy listening to his voice as hypnos takes you into his arms for the night. you sigh defeatedly. “no. tell me about that dream you had last night.”

percy’s hold around your waist tightens and he happily kisses your temple. “so it started off with me and you and we were—”

“how about no.”

[ghoulfool]

holy fuuuck ✨

[apocalypse-cowboy]

Everyone in the Ghost fandom (including me) after Papa Perpetua was announced:

[ruinix]

When I say punish the brat out of me, I meant this way, because I know after the punishments, he'll be so sweet 🫠🫠🫠 oh i've melted

Imagine you decided to prank Quinn by moaning another man's name in bed while having sex with him. He would be so pissed

Top 10 potential worst decisions of your life.

Warnings: degrading language, whore/bitch/brat. He's not entertaining this shit in the slightest. Rough treatment, spanking, choking, face slapping. Potty mouth.

You'd pick the worst time to do it, waiting until he's almost on the edge. His head thrown back, his hips staggering. He's so close to cumming when you drop the bombshell. Switching up the name you've been moaning, praising and worshiping all night.

His head would snap forward to glare at you, not saying a word, trying to process what the fuck you just said.

He knows what you're doing. You're being a fucking brat. You've cum and now you're determined to make him snap. He knows about the trends. He knows how much time you spend scrolling on your phone, there's no way you haven't seen them.

He's wrapping his hand around your neck, squeezing enough to make you panic. Lightly slapping your face with his other hand. If you want to act like a bad girl, he'll treat you like one. He doesn't care if you didn't mean it. You wanted a reaction, so you'll get one.

He doesn't want to see your face. Doesn't want to see a single inch of your face until you're sobbing and being a good girl again. Flipping you on your stomach, barking orders for you to arch your back.

If you don't instantly obey, he's harshly spanking your ass until you do. Alternating sides so you can't escape the burn, can't escape his touch. He's bent over you, making it even more difficult for you. Reaching to keep his other hand on your neck, keeping you down like the bitch you're pretending to be.

You want it rough? His girl wants him to be a monster? Sure. He's been holding back with you, too afraid to hurt his precious good girl. But she's not here right now.

He'll just have to fuck it back into you.

[lethargical-lily]

I have an unfortunate announcement that the chances of me being one of those nerds that gets a tattoo of Castlevania sometime within the next few years is very high. Pray for me y’all😔🙏

[pangirlpanic]

My wife and I talking about our men 🩷

[bkblaise]

boomshakalaka yes gawd

[orange-flashh]

Meh, meh, meh... you're just gonna let her get away, and then you'll be sad.

Meow. Meow Meow meow. Meow. Meow.

[waggledoogledoggle]

HOLY CRAP

YALL

LOOK AT HOW MUCH ANGEL LIGHTS UP NOW JUST BY HUSK TALKING TO HIM

QUITE LITERALLY ALL HUSK SAID WAS “hey” AND HE JUST-

HIS WHOLE FACE, HIS ENTIRE DEMEANOR JUST BRIGHTENS AND LIGHTS UP

[mid-knight-black]

You are telling me this shot was supposed to be “platonic”? This brokeback-mountain-call-me-by-your-name ass scene is supposed to be PLATONIC??? Be sooo ffr right now 😭😭😭

[izniss]