#and mentions of rape and sex

[toyherb]

I broke a rule at work yesterday and I'm feeling very very guilty about it

[cathy-plus-e]

If this post gets 50k notes before July 7th of 2024 I'll do anything possible to go to therapy and investigate if I really got rapped when I was 10 years old so I can stop living with an uncomfortable feeling of doubt and insecurity with my own body

This got extremely specific I'm sorry

[bugwolfsstuff]

chat help I am plagued by the unfathomable rage I feel when I am reminded that some people think Odysseus wasnt faithful to Penelope

[marzipanandminutiae]

Hi, I want to talk to you abou this image:

This illustration is titled "black slave women of different african nations". I find the combination of traditional African elements such as face-paint, necklaces and what appears to be ritual scarification and Western fashion worn by these women incredibly striking, but what made my jaw drop is the idea that these women are slaves.

While I am aware that maids and other lower-class women were sometimes able to access fancy clothing hand-me-downs from their employers, I had expected the nature of slavery in the Americas to make it impossible for enslaved black women to do the same.

So, this is a drawing. Whether it's drawn from life or not, I don't know, but the artist could easily have staged these women in fashionable (early 19th century) dresses or made the outfits up from their imagination. That being said, enslaved women absolutely did attempt to have "best" clothing and follow the fashions when they became aware of them.

Humans are human, no matter the circumstances. You can't crush that drive for beauty out of people, however you oppress them.

I know a bit more about fashion and later generations of Black women enslaved in the southeastern US, after scarification and such had been stripped out of their culture, but that certainly bears out this idea of treasuring beauty and trying to make space for fine clothing in their lives. Church services, weddings, and holidays like Christmas were often occasions for enslaved women to wear the best outfits they had, along with any jewelry or other finery they had managed to make or inherit. Some enslavers did give "favorite" people they held in bondage cloth, castoff clothes, cheap jewelry, lace, etc. At other times, the enslaved people cleverly made things themselves- one WPA Former Slave Interview in the 1930s, which I cannot find again for the life of me, featured an elderly man recalling that he once made hoop skirts from dried grapevine with an enterprising friend, selling them to the women in his community for a nickel (many enslaved people earned small amounts of money taking side jobs outside of their punishing work schedule).

Obviously such clothes could not be worn while working, but like I said, there WERE occasions of joy and celebration even in the harshness of slavery. The tradition of Black women wearing elaborate hats to church may in part originate from enslaved women (and their free but economically disempowered sisters) taking advantage of a rare chance for self-expression and elegance.

(Of course there were also less positive instances in which an enslaved woman might have fine clothing, namely sex trafficking, or habitual rape by an enslaver who then attempted to compensate her for this heinous crime with presents. New Orleans' infamous "fancy girl" market is enough to turn your stomach if you look it up.)

After the Civil War, some white commentators were incensed to see Black women in fashionable attire walking the streets where they'd once been enslaved. For these women, it acted as a visible and tangible way of asserting their freedom- as their ancestors despite wringing what happiness they could from life -had been unable to.

If anyone has more to add on this, please chime in! Enslaved women's fashion specifically is not my area of research, so I welcome input from people who study this more extensively. Cheyney McKnight is a wonderful source on enslaved people's lives in general, and a historical costumer herself.

[freyasfatale]

not a male telling me that the reason I hate males is just because I’ve been cheated on LOLOLOLLOLLLLLLL

[exhelluvafan]

Can someone tell me why people still think that Stolas doesn't understand social cues or lacks self-awareness, despite the fact that Stolas did all this shit against Blitz deliberately?

Why are people still defending him with those flimsy arguments?

Like, dude, if Apology Tour wasn't enough... Then how the fuck are you supposed to see Stolas' glare (not "love gaze", because it's not that, it's an actual glare, a hateful, silent scowling glare towards Blitz, which mind you, is Stolas' victim supposed "love interest") during Mastermind in any better light?

And no, this isn't Stolas actually giving the message to Blitz that he still loves him, this is actually a glare that screams "See what you've done, imp? This is what happens when you keep denying me, I'll make you regret it, regret for ever crossing me."

Like... You guys realize that Stolas IS going to gaslight Blitz even further and hold this against him to keep abusing him without any repercussions nor objections from Blitz because Stolas "saved" his life? What kind of "wholesome" relationship is that?!

And don't come at me with the "he doesn't know any social cues" or "lacking self-awareness" bullshit, Stolas is doing all this DELIBERATELY, YOU CANNOT RAPE AND ABUSE SOMEONE UNINTENTIONALLY.

...I'll just say, whoever keeps parroting those stupid arguments, please, please for the love of everything that's living, read about abusive tactics down here, because all of this shit is just a massive advantage towards Stolas to keep abusing Blitz, and it's not "cute" in the slightest.

And if you keep defending Stolas and still giving him the benefit of the doubt after reading all that... Then you're a lost cause, sorry mate.

If people genuinely think that you can abuse and rape someone unintentionally... then you really must be either naive, or don't know how any of this shit works, because these actions CANNOT be unintentional in the slightest, they're deliberate by nature.

[ladystoneboobs]

an examination of theon greyjoy's feelings about and (implied) relationship with evil uncle euron

Theon searched for his uncle Euron's Silence. Of that lean and terrible red ship he saw no sign, but his father's Great Kraken was there, her bow ornamented with a grey iron ram in the shape of its namesake. [...] It might be only a caution, now that he thought on it. A defensive move, lest the war spill out across the sea. Old men were cautious by nature. His father was old now, and so too his uncle Victarion, who commanded the Iron Fleet. His uncle Euron was a different song, to be sure, but the Silence did not seem to be in port. It's all for the good, Theon told himself. This way, I shall be able to strike all the more quickly. -Theon I, aCoK

the first we read of euron is in theon's first pov as he searched the harbor at lordsport for euron's ship. no reason is given for singling that ship out nor an initial reaction to its absence. later down the page euron is described as different from balon and victarion, with none of an older man's caution to be expected from him. that's why theon thought it for the best that euron's ship was not in port, though at this point it appears his only concern is being the boldest greyjoy around, commanding the fleet all the more quickly for its already being assembled, and not being outshone by euron. the only hint at more is his description of the ship as "terrible".

"You can marry off your sister," Esgred[Asha] observed, "but not your uncles." "My uncles . . ." Theon's claim took precedence over those of his father's three brothers, but the woman had touched on a sore point nonetheless. In the islands it was scarce unheard of for a strong, ambitious uncle to dispossess a weak nephew of his rights, and usually murder him in the bargain. But I am not weak, Theon told himself, and I mean to be stronger yet by the time my father dies. [...] [Asha-as-Esgred, to Theon:] "Euron Croweye has no lack of cunning, though. I've heard men say terrible things of that one." Theon shifted his seat. "My uncle Euron has not been seen in the islands for close on two years. He may be dead." If so, it might be for the best. Lord Balon's eldest brother had never given up the Old Way, even for a day. His Silence, with its black sails and dark red hull, was infamous in every port from Ibben to Asshai, it was said. -Theon II, aCoK

by theon's next chapter, when he and (unknown, to him) asha discuss their greyjoy uncles, theon has learned that euron hasn't been seen in the iron islands for two years. atp, rather than just noting that euron's not at home, theon has decided it's for the best if he's died somewhere and can never return. the word terrible is again used wrt euron and it's also said that his ship is infamous all over the world. euron is the only greyjoy never to have given up the old way in any sense, and the implied danger to theon is that he could also partake in the old tradition of a strong, ambitious uncle murdering his nephew. euron has thus been establishled as a villain, a threat, and possible kinslayer more specifically but we have yet to learn all the other, more unique aspects of his villainy. i think it likely that grrm, with his gardener-writing, had not yet decided that euron was an incestuous sexual predator. the risk of nepoticide is enough to explain theon's nervous shifting at the mention of euron's cunning and the terrible things said of him, but it could also apply to euron's full characterization only revealed years later in aeron's pov, one of those little half-open seeds gardener-grrm could decide to grow later.

[Robb Stark, to his assembled bannermen and his mother:] "Euron Greyjoy is no man's notion of a king, if half of what Theon said of him was true. Theon is the rightful heir, unless he's dead . . . but Victarion commands the Iron Fleet. I can't believe he would remain at Moat Cailin while Euron Crow's Eye holds the Seastone Chair. He has to go back." -Catelyn V, aSoS

our next clue about theon/euron is not from his own pov but in the book between his arcs when he's "offscreen". i'd say the fact that theon had confided to robb at all about euron is significant, let alone that he related enough things about euron for robb to rhetorically dismiss half of what theon told him and still feel confident of ironborn infighting with euron on the throne. (with theon's status unknown and asha absent from the isles too, euron would have a claim to that throne and a better one than victarion regardless as the eldest surviving greyjoy. vic is the dutiful younger brother who wouldn't normally make any power play, so for robb to know that euron's rule would be challenged by his younger brothers shows he does indeed have insider intel wrt euron.)

this accurate read from robb stands in pretty, ahem, stark contrast to everything theon must have told robb and himself about the likelihood of a robb/balon alliance. an impartial observer who knew (as theon did) that balon's first rebellion was about bringing back the old way more than just independance from the iron throne would have known those goals were not in line with the kitn's cause and that alliance was a no-go from the start. we see in the quoted portion of theon i above how he lied to himself about balon becoming a cautious old man and this being his time in the sun, yet it seems euron was the one family member he couldn't lie to himself about. not only did euron make such an impression on him that theon always remembered him very clearly but the effect was such that amid all his hostage time at wf fantasizing about his return home, he felt the need to tell robb the truth about this one scary relative by confiding in him with multiple stories. (though if euron had sexually abused theon, i can't imagine him ever explicitly revealing that to robb or anyone else.)

"My uncle[Victarion] is never coming back," Reek told them[the ironmen Victarion abandoned at Moat Cailin]. "The kingsmoot crowned his brother Euron, and the Crow's Eye has other wars to fight. You think my uncle values you? He doesn't. You are the ones he left behind to die. He scraped you off the same way he scrapes mud off his boots when he wades ashore." -Reek(/Theon) II, aDwD

this is euron's only name-drop in theon's dance pov, significant only in that it shows theon had recent news of his uncles, enough to know that euron dgaf about keeping balon's northern conquests and had instead drawn vic and the other captains far away. which brings me to ...

Crowfood. Theon remembered. An old man, huge and powerful, with a ruddy face and a shaggy white beard. He had been seated on a garron, clad in the pelt of a gigantic snow bear, its head his hood. Under it he wore a stained white leather eye patch that reminded Theon of his uncle Euron. He'd wanted to rip it off Umber's face, to make certain that underneath was only an empty socket, not a black eye shining with malice. Instead he had whimpered [...] -Theon I, tWoW

here, we have theon meeting a non-bolton northman he's known before, no different really from all the non-bolton northmen inside wf or any others he'd met growing up there, none of whom really seemed to scare him as his captors did, yet the mere sight of mors "crowfood" umber's eye patch is enough to freak theon the fuck out, wanting to rip off the eye patch for reassurance that crowfood was just a regular guy. this is the kind of terror we'd expect wrt ramsay, which would make sense in that regard, as ramsay had been his most immediate abuser, torturing theon in every sense for around a year almost right up until the moment of his escape, and ramsay's still right there in wf, so theon had good reason to still fear recapture by him. euron, though? that's an uncle he hadn't seen in over ten years, who theon knew to be far from wf as seen in the above dance quote, so he had no reason to expect to see him again in that part of westeros and one would think he had enough immediate problems not to worry about someone he hadn't seen in so long. you'd think his pre-ned, pre-ramsay childhood with all the greyjoys would feel a lifetime away with all he'd been through since, esp the reekening. but whatever impression euron left on him was still just as clear and fresh as ever, so that anyone with an eye patch could suddenly make him feel fear of an uncle hundreds of miles and a decade removed from him. from this moment i take away two things: 1) theon will survive stannis and have to meet uncle euron again bc otherwise i don't see the point of grrm throwing this in here and 2) it now feels a helluva lot more likely that theon was another csa victim of euron's bc i don't think this kind of sudden fear could be accounted for with just general scariness from euron. feels more like being triggered by a trauma flashback (just as aeron had as soon as he heard that euron had taken balon's throne), doesn't it? and after having been recently sexually abused by ramsay all that time it makes sense that he'd be even more sensitive to reminders of another abuser as soon as he'd finally escaped ramsay, moreso than when he was just nervously shifting as he and asha vaguely talked of euron's terribleness.

after all, theon/aeron are already linked in the feastdance as both are youngest greyjoy siblings who happen to also be victims of abuse who had buried their old selves in a new identity. aeron's old self even sounds a lot like pre-ramsay theon. theon remembered pre-born-again aeron as the "most amiable of his uncles, feckless and quick to laugh, fond of songs, ale, and women", and aeron described his younger self as "a sack of wine with legs. He would sing, he would dance [...] he would jape and jabber and make mock. He played the pipes, he juggled, he rode horses and could drink more than all the Wynches and the Botleys, and half the Harlaws too." doesn't that sound like the ever-smiling and joking unserious theon we first met, fond of wine and womanizing, once a good dancer, and better ahorse than most ironborn? the only part really missing for theon is aeron's ability to always win literal pissing contests. you'd think being sexually abused by two different evildoers (euron and ramsay) would be enough of a parallel, but this winds preview chapter certainly makes it seem like they also shared the specific experience of being abused by euron in childhood too. our poor youngest kraken really did never have a chance, did he?

shoutout to this post detailing the evidence of theon's sa by ramsay for inspiration. ik i'm not the first to suggest abuse by euron too, but thought it useful to make the case by laying out all the relevant quotes as evidence.

[useless-moss]

This post was originally going to be "Dagur/Viggo hate sex" but as I was typing that my brain screamed "Hiccup sandwich" instead.

So.

Hiccup trapped between his two, arguably, most dangerous enemies. Two sets of hands on his body, two mouths kissing him and leaving hickies along his neck, two voices whispering vague threats and obsessive praise respectively into his ears.

Dagur and Viggo working together and getting 'along' for this and only this and then immediately arguing about who gets to cuddle Hiccup's wrecked body the closest afterwards. Dagur recommending branding in the form of carving his name into Hiccup's skin and they both end up shooting it down because they don't want anyone to claim what's theirs in such a way.

Hiccup being both terrified and unreasonably turned on, especially when Viggo suggests they "take him at the same time" since they can't agree on who should go first. "No no no you'll rip something you'll hurt me-" Hiccup tries to plead only for Viggo to pull out a full jar of oil and say, very calmly, "we'll use the whole thing if needed."

Dagur's eyes light up at the suggestion and Hiccup knows he's, literally and metaphorically, fucked.

[dollhousemausoleum]

As if he wasn’t enough of a goddamn degenerate, he did this shit in front of his little son. He repeatedly violated SP while his son was in the same room, sometimes even in eye and earshot.

HE HAD HIS YOUNG SON REFERRING TO ONE OF HIS VICTIMS AS SLAVE AND DEMANDING SHE CALL HIM MASTER LIKE SHE DOES HIS FATHER. A CHILD, demanding a woman call him MASTER after witnessing his FATHER force her to do it. AND NEIL FOUND THAT AMUSING.

HE MOLESTED THIS SAME VICTIM WHILE THEY WERE SEATED ON THE COUCH WITH HIS C H I L D.

And Scarlett wasn’t even the only woman he had his son be present for. This is a PATTERN.

Absolutely no joke, I personally would have 1000% drowned him like a fucking rabid sewer rat the second he oozed his non-euclidean ass carcass into that bath tub. Then again, I’m 31, quite a bit older than the victim was and no longer prone to freeze/fawn, I DO NOT BLAME HER FOR FREEZING. He is a schlubby, sniveling, sadistic, insecure, impotent little doughboy cuck who lives vicariously through le edgy cool goth self-insert OCs and can only feel like a “real man” by overpowering terrified girls decades younger than him. Pathetic. My heart is shattered for that girl. For all of them.

I’m usually the first to complain that people here use suicide demands way too liberally, but right now I feel so hollowed out and filled with ice water and broken glass after reading Vulture and Rolling Stone that I mean this from the bottom of my soul: Neil Gaiman (YOU TOO AMANDA, YOU WERE HIS PROCURER, HIS VERY OWN GHISLAINE),

[b0rateen]

Chat should I mute my chats with "Friend" Who Misgenders Me & Makes Rape Jokes

[six-of-cringe]

The "ohhhh fuck dolphins, dolphins are evil they kill and rape, ohh otters are evil they rape seal babies, not so cute now are they" people are like the children who would smugly tell anyone who would listen that ring around the rosie is about people dying of the plague. Like ok. Do I need to explain how high intelligence correlates with complex behavior or can you shut the fuck up on your own

[ace-culture-is]

sex-repulsed/averse ace culture is realizing that the closest rep you have in fandom is SA fics

.

[certifiedsexed]

hi younger teen here, are there any like. adverse mental effects to having sex at a young age? i have a friend whose (currently) 13 and is already having penetrative sex (started at 12) and while im pretty sure it’s safely i also know that said friend knows someone who had sex with the same guy they are and got pregnant so? additional question can sex from hypersexuality as a trauma response be harmful? thanks!

Hi! I've never seen any research that specifically ties sex itself at a young age to adverse mental effects. There's a lot of fearmongering research calling rape "sex" and pointing out how that has adverse mental affects but that applies to rape at any age.

Just sex itself has no proven adverse mental effects dependent on age. Unless someone wants to correct me with an actual paper?? [Fr, I'm always open to reading research, even if it takes me forever to get through it.]

Sex itself can be unhealthy if you're having it with people who don't treat you respectfully, or if you don't want to be having it at all but that's also true regardless of age and can also apply to many different things!

[Sex can also be unhealthy if it's not actually sex. What I mean by that is if you're being raped/sexually abused. For example, you're a kid/teen dating an adult [someone 18+]: what you're having in that situation isn't sex, it's rape.

Same if someone is pressuring/guilting you into having "sex" with them: that's rape. Or if someone threatens you, or they "have sex" with you without getting your consent. That's rape.]

But as long as your friend is safe and enjoying themselves, I wouldn't worry too much. Hopefully, since your friend already knows this guy has gotten someone pregnant [if that's not a rumor], they'll be extra careful!

But even if that doesn't work, there are options on what to do if they get pregnant and/or think they weren't safe enough. And having support behind them is a much better option than just not having sex.

And yes, while it's absolutely okay to have trauma responses-Its in fact, very understandable but sometimes they can be harmful for you.

It depends sometimes but its definitely a good idea to keep an eye on your trauma responses to make sure you're not relying on them too heavily and if they're actually helping you or if they're making you feel worse.

But also don't judge yourself too much for your trauma responses, especially when you're still stuck in a traumatizing situation, because they help keep you alive! Be kind to yourself.

Hope this helps! Let me know if you have any other questions. <33

[baeddel-txt]

It’s all “support sex-repulsed asexuals” until we actually express anything about our sex repulsion then suddenly we’re a bunch of “stuck-up prudes” who need to get laid (be correctively raped) until we’re “normal”.