#euron greyjoy

[jeyneofpoole]

no other god before me

HAPPY HARLAWEEN @mlmaegon !!!

[thehauntingofharrenhouse]

the real villain of asoiaf is the 500 middle-aged men in positions of power whose egos you must appease in order to accomplish anything at all lest they side against you. and euron greyjoy

[knightsickness]

the victarion stupidquest to marry dany originally being planned as a victarion and euron pinky-and-the-brain reunion boys trip to dany together + then grrm changed his mind is crushing. one of them would have killed the other before they left westerosi waters

[marwyn]

Leyton and the Mad Maid finally found a spell to ward off Euron

(x)

[ladystoneboobs]

idt we talk enough about how a song of ice and fire is also the song of incest and cannibalism. i mean, sure, obviously both of those subjects are noted as present, but the saga feels much more known for its incest, which idt is fair or accurate to the later materiel. iirc, jaime fucking cersei next to their dead firstborn is the last instance of onpage incest happening in present tl, and after that it's all about the cannibals, baby.

(disclaimer: cw/tw sa, cw/tw rape, and i'm not counting cousincest as that's normal in-world even for non-targaryens and also still legal in many places in our world today, nor counting the faux-incestuous freudian mess that is littlefinger/alayne(sansa)/sweetrobin, nor any dark humor jokes and/or unfulfilled threats wrt forced cannibalism)

in fact pretty much all the active incest during the present tl happens in those first 3 books:

the twincest as a major plot point ofc, kicking action off when bran saw them fucking in a tower

and viserys creeping on dany and twisting her nipple

tyrion relating his backstory to bronn wherein he and tysha were both raped by proxy by his father, tywin (tho tyrion does not use that terminology)

craster still being alive to rape and impregnate his own daughters (resulting in dozens of forced incestuous relationships)

and theon unknowingly groping his own sister while she (knowingly) groped him in return

jaime's early pov recalled how he shut up cersei with kissing when they fought after bran refused to die

bella of stoney sept trying and failing to seduce gendry who is (unbeknownst to them both) her half-brother as both were sired by robert baratheon (only example in these 3 books where incest was averted before any sexual activity or incestuous contact occurred)

the aforementioned sept twincest next to joffrey's corpse

tyrion learning from oberyn about cersei twisting his penis when he was a baby

cersei's failed attempt to seduce jaime in wst, pulling out his dick for either a bj or hj until her talk of tyrion's death made him lose his boner

while incest is not exactly absent from the text after that, it seems to exist in the feastdance only in hypotheticals or past memories:

aeron's trauma flashbacks of his (implied only in published text) csa by euron

jaime still feeling lust when seeing cersei nude

and her fond reminiscing about them fucking behind robert's back/brief dream of them as a married couple before her walk of shame

victarion misinterpreting asha's offer of partnership as a marriage proposal and suddenly looking at his niece in a new way with "his manhood beginning to stiffen"

jaime's recollection of fucking cersei at darry next to robert as he was passed out drunk before cersei sent him to hunt arya (which would have happened back in agot and the point of this scene is more his failed hunt for a child just to make cersei happy)

arianne's "uneasy" memory of a past fantasy about being seduced by a man whose description is suspiciously similar to her late uncle oberyn

the aborted marital match of aegon/young griff to his purported aunt dany

illyrio saying (the now dead) viserys tried to rape dany the night before her wedding to drogo (another event from agot concerning a guy we already knew was into incest)

and tyrion once saying he wanted to rape as well as murder cersei

conversely, the cannibalism in the earlier books is most often only unproven hypotheticals alluded to as possible cannibalism:

old nan saying the others fed their dead servants the flesh of human children (which we have not yet seen with any wights so far, whether or not one counts walking undead eating human flesh as straight-up cannibalism)

the mystery meat in flea bottom's bowls o' brown which may or may not contain symon silver tongue after tyrion had him killed

renly's recollection that cressen kept stannis from catapulting their old master-at-arms by saying they may need to eat him later (which did not come to pass thanks to davos)

joffrey telling his people to eat their own dead (with no way of knowing if any actually did)

lady hornwood eating her own fingers

the mentions of the ice river clans being the cannibals beyond the wall (who are def not among the free folk jon snow gets to know onpage, making it just background detail)

bran's (possibly mythical) story of the rat cook

and biter chewing on people he attacked and other corpses (which seems to be just a side hobby connected to his killing method moreso constituting a snack than a full meal from a person butchered for meat. this tendancy of his is just background detail in acok, with biter chewing a corpse in the background after the weasel soup operation, and the hindsight implication that it could well have been him rather than dogs or wolves who had "been at" the corpses after the skirmish where yoren was killed)

while the feastdance feels much more in your face with cannibalism, having not only more total mentions of the practice but also more confirmed, actual cannibalism (as opposed to the ambiguity of each and every bowl o' brown), for those who know how to look at the evidence:

jaime learned that his father's mad dog aka the mountain fed parts of vargo hoat to all his prisoners (including vargo himself) after recapturing harrenhal

jaime then recalled tales of danelle lothston presiding over feasts of human flesh in harrenhal

and euron bragged about pulling a similar trick with the warlocks he captured (the only twist being that the warlocks knew what they were being forced to eat, which vargo hoat and wylis manderly etc at harrenhal likely didn't)

the elder brother of the quiet isle told of biter eating all of a woman's breasts at saltpans after she'd been raped and killed (prob the largest amount of flesh biter's confirmed to have eaten from one corpse)

bran and co. ate "pig" supplied by coldhands which had to be long pig aka human meat

brienne felt her face being eaten by biter in her own pov (which is so much worse than him chewing others in the background of the weasel soup scene)

theon was told that two ironmen at moat cailin were found eating their dead comrades

the astapori were said to eat their own dead while under siege by the yunkishmen

and then were said to do so again in refugee camps outside meereen

sam and davos sailed past skagos and each remembered stories of skagosi cannibalism

khrazz the pit fighter cut the hearts from his defeated foes to eat them

cotter pyke's last letter to jon snow said the wildlings were eating their own dead at hardhome

4 of stannis's men were executed by burning for butchering and eating dead men (with asha wondering how many others had done so without being caught)

and ofc the frey pies with wyman manderly having his 3 former guests killed and serving their meat to their own kin and the other guests at ramsay's wedding while eating some himself too

two of these examples (involving gregor clegane and euron greyjoy) must have actually happened during the course of asos, but grrm chose to give us the gruesome details in affc, which was brand new information about men we already knew were villains but did not know were into that fucked-up shit specifically, unlike being reminded that agot-era jaime and viserys wanted to fuck their sisters. it's as if after craster was killed and jc effectively broke up grrm decided cannibalism was the taboo subject matter he would fill the later books with, so we'd really feel the increasing danger of starvation-induced cannibalism with winter's arrival (and have no trouble believing rickon's new home of skagos really is a cannibal island). however, in-universe it feels like there's some sort of environmental balance connection so that the decrease in one formerly common behaviorial abomination just allows another such abomination to fill in the gap with a sharp increase in activity, like deer overpopulation resulting from lack of predators as if all the active incest somehow stopped more people from eating themselves or other people.

[stellar-ii]

I think one of my favourite things about a song of ice and fire is that Westeros has issues like the way that the feudal system crushes those that weren't fortunate enough to be born into the right family, the partriarchy that traps women into a desperate race to gain approval in a system that'll never truly accept them and punishes those that try to seek a different way, the war and disunity in the realm that'll ultimately cripple humanity's ability to survive the impending apocalypse, all of which are deep, societal issues, and then there's also just an evil wizard. Like if you were to make a list of Westeros' biggest problems, it would look something like:

Disunity in the face of a growing existential threat

Extreme Inequality

The patriarchal system and sexism

evil wizard

[tell-them-the-north-remembers]

When you think about it Euron Greyjoy is actually the villain of all time, GRRM's magnum opus. He opens his eyes to the world and decides sibling abuse is gonna be his thing for a while. He fucks his brother's wife, gets exiled for it, fucks off to god knows where. Then allegedly finds a dragon egg, tries to get a wizard to hatch it, gets mad, randomly throws it into the sea. Commits war crimes, captures warlocks, makes them cannibalize each other for shits and giggles. Steals a dragon horn. DEMOCRATICALLY GETS ELECTED KING. Raids a man's castle, ties up the man, sees his daughter who goes "hey my step mom and step siblings suck strip them naked and make them serve dinner to ur men like that" and he goes "ok." and then is like "hey that was fun im gonna like kinda marry you and make you my salt wife". But she will be his SALT wife (she actually wont he will literally CUT her tongue bcs he evil) bcs he literally thinks oh yes i will marry daenerys and then tame a dragon using my dragonhorn and conquer westeros on dragonback aegon-style. He gets fucked up on shade of the evening daily, sees hallucinations and visions and plans on summoning eldritch horrors. He is an edgy pirate with a ship called "silence" bcs he fucking tore out the tongues of his entire crew and the ship is painted red so it conceals the BLOOD. Martin went "i have enough morally grey antagonists" and then created euron fucking greyjoy.

[amuelia]

Greyjoys + animals

"Does he have a name?" Esgred asked Theon as he mounted. - "Smiler. [...] I knew a man once who told me that I smiled at the wrong things." - Theon II aCoK

Tris Botley said that the Crow's Eye had used a seal to stand in for her at her wedding. - The Wayward Bride, aDwD

Once he bet his new longship against a herd of goats that he could quench a hearthfire with no more than his cock. Aeron feasted on goat for a year [...]. - The Prophet, aFfC

The monkeys, though … the monkeys were a plague. Would that I had a crossbow. - The Iron Suitor, aDwD

Happy Birthday @welshrugby !! ❤❤

[msphagime]

||The Divine Right to Rule||

Been thinking about puppet king Theon lately

[naggascradle]

euron really fascinates me similar to how the Others and the wights fascinate me in the world of asoiaf where there's like a high amount of politics going on in the capital and other high populous cities. and like politicking is all well and good but how are we solving the whole pirate king becoming Cthulhu thing happening over there. that seems pretty bad. and i dont think all the gold of casterly rock can buy your way out of dealing with it. the forsaken is the only chapter to make me put my phone down after reading it and go Hm. That seems like it may be really quite bad for most of everyone even vaguely involved. On an apocalyptic level

[jeyneofpoole]

the greyjoys aren’t even weird that’s just what having a lot of uncles does to you. they keep disappearing the loadbearing ones too like aeron’s hardly even a warm body at this point it’s just hp euroncraft and victarion the wise toting around various limbless anime girl fetish torsos summoning monsters from the fathoms below or whatever. asha was fine because she had rodrik the baller to queen out with but theon had to be his own uncle and we all saw how that worked out also urri croaked at the tender age of teenager so he never got to grow into his unclehood SAD! well there are other uncles. soooooooo many uncles. and they call them nuncles also so like that’s an entirely new layer to the complex uncle ecosystem they’re cultivating over there. taking out balon was like a trophic cascade it’s fucking battle royale

[i-smoke-chapstick]

GoT Characters + Text Posts (Pt. 1)

[knightsickness]

noo victarion dont take euron’s ‘fuck off half the way across the world on a probably-deadly fool’s errand’ command ten minutes after you really quite perceptively noticed that euron is naming his lords to depower those he sees as potential rivals to his throne. including you. implying he sees you as a quite significant threat + that considering you could turn euron into red paste in combat aeron and asha both like you youre a brutish traditionalist and very popular on the iron islands you’re an extremely plausible alternative king he’s hasty to get out of the way. noo victarion hes offering to give you the seastone chair after you get back (which you will not) to keep you from noticing you could probably just take ittt

[tokenasx]

recent Aeron doodles

How can aeron have such a fancy imagination of the watery hall, a place to spend nice time with his dead brothers. While actually it's a prison with endless seafood buffet filled with generations of ill-tempered greyjoys 😱😱

Euron and aeron in acnh

[helaenarts]

Theon Greyjoy

[burningvelvet]

ATTENTION pirates, pirate lovers, & #piratecore perusers: PLEASE listen to ship in a bottle by fin aka steffan argus - & his whole album lost at sea. i really like the song abandon ship too. thank me later