#sex education

[certifiedsexed]

Certified Sex Ed Post!

Above all, sex is an activity and we need to stop mythologizing it. And honestly it’s a super poorly defined activity too, once you leave the realm of what heterosexual cisgender people define as sex.

[certifiedsexed]

When I want to have sex with my boyfriend I feel small, helpless, and I inevitably end up dissociating or crying. How can I heal from this? Most sexual contact has become impossible for me. I feel as if my role is to give him sex, like I'm obligated to, and at the same time I feel so scared and unprepared for it.

Here's the thing, Anon. I can't tell you how to heal or recover. I'm not a therapist and my advice is fairly limited on this subject.

But I can say that it sounds like you and your boyfriend need to give sex a break for a bit. You're not going to heal by repeatedly putting yourself into a situation where you're dissociating and panicking without first working on the idea you have in your head that you have to give him sex.

As long as you feel like you have to have sex with him, you're not going to feel as if you're actually consenting to having sex with him and that's traumatizing. It's also not healthy, by any means.

If you feel unprepared and scared, I'd also suggest learning more about sex in general. Learning about things can help with fear and feeling unprepared, though its obviously by no means a cure.

I'd also suggest figuring out where this fear comes from, as that might be helpful. So might trying some type of therapy if you can and talking to people you trust, especially your boyfriend if you can, about this.

This probably isn't super helpful but if you have any other questions, let me know! <3

[forbescaroline]

TOP 5/10 CHARACTERS PER SHOW (as voted by my followers) ↳ sex education edition #5. Jackson Marchetti portrayed by Kedar Williams-Stirling

[rttlesnk]

lmaoooo shout out to the time i was sat in sex-ed and my teacher was talking about how abstinence-only education is harmful and how we can prevent getting STDs and I couldn't for the life of me figure out why abstinence-only wouldn't work bc not having sex is rlly rlly easy, like, just dont have sex? anyway turns out not everybody is ace, and they actually want sex and had sexual urges, meanwhile i was out here thinking that people chose to do it bc it soubded fun

[mxjackparker]

It recently came to my attention that a lot of people, even those who frequently use condoms, don't know that you need to pinch the tip when you put one on or don't know why!

Leaving air in the tip will cause it to expand (and maybe break) when ejaculation happens. Also, air in the condom makes it more likely for the ejaculation to push the air down the condom and make it slip off.

Share to save someone from a condom breakage!

[incognitopolls]

Anon feels like getting their first period was almost traumatic because of how deeply ashamed they felt about it, even though everything about it was normal and they knew it would happen.

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We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

[vague-humanoid]

[julianova44]

Oooh oooh singing I have way too much personal experience with!!!!

Vaginismus can have multiple causes, some psychological (anxiety and trauma feedback loop), while others are purely musculoskeletal or neurological, and often the later leads to the former. Important information for anybody suffering from vaginismus: There are physical therapists who specialize in pelvic floor dysfunction, which can be vaginismus, but they’re not as common as more generalist physical therapists.

Also: Not all pain with sexual intercourse (called dyspareunia, fyi) is vaginismus.

For example, due to factors such as the position of my cervix, some weirdness with my connective tissue and the relative distance between various parts of my vulva, I only tolerate/enjoy insertion from some very specific angles.

Other folks may experience dryness due to everything from differences in physical development to hormone changes, which makes everything extremely delicate and prone to ripping. Trans mascs starting T and blocking E and perimenopausal people know what I’m talking about- often the solution is a localized estrogen cream.

And that’s not getting into the weird referred pain you can get from ovarian cysts or endometriosis, or postpartum symptoms.

A lot of times, you can develop anxiety/trauma based vaginismus symptoms due to those other sources of vaginal pain. If you’re expecting vaginal pain, those muscles will tense, and over time that leads to a learned response that can trigger those spasms.

But! Not all vaginismus is anxiety/trauma based, so don’t make assumptions based on folks medical history. Takeaway: vaginismus can have a lot of sources, vaginal pain can have a lot of sources, and you should never accept unwanted pain as normal- in sex or life generally.

We all know what erectile dysfunction is but literally no one is ever taught what vaginismus is and it can cause people to feel extremely lost, broken, and cause people to take their own lives. Raise. Awareness.

[scriptscribbles]

Ncuti Gatwa you have my undying love

[foldingfittedsheets]

I feel like one of the major ways sex ed failed me was the utter lack of discussion about vaginal discharge. Around 13 I started just… leaking fluids. It was on a set schedule, every day after lunch there’d be an uncomfortable wetness down the front of my underwear.

It was awful. Every movement was wet and cold unpleasantness in my pants. I’d go stuff toilet paper into my underwear and it would pill up and stick to my damp skin. That went on for a year.

I finally discovered panty liners and started wearing them daily, but with the unconscious fear that the overall juiciness of my pussy was unnatural.

I’d read people saying that cotton underwear would dissipate moisture and stop it from being a problem but no amount of natural fibers could evaporate what my crotch was producing. Since that wasn’t enough for me I worried I was abnormal.

I didn’t like wearing panty liners every day. It felt sweaty and wasteful but the alternative was to be wet and miserable. I still worried about it. But when I finally asked a doctor they just asked if it was more than my usual discharge. I said, no, it’s always been this way. They shrugged and assured me that meant my body was behaving reliably. Also if your discharge discolors your underwear that’s also normal cause of chemistry reasons

That reassurance didn’t come until my 20’s.

Finally a few years ago I discovered cloth liners. They’re reusable and clip into the crotch of underwear. I was ecstatic to finally have a non disposable option. I love them. Although the mainstream ones have polyester wings and I’m very excited to try the new all cotton ones I just got off Etsy. I think they were originally intended as light period protection but were robust enough for me.

So if you’ve ever worried about how wet your pussy is: it’s normal. It’s self cleaning, it’s doing what it’s supposed to do. You should worry when the amount changes and if you’re like me check out cloth liners, they’re excellent.

[chaneilkular]

CHANEIL KULAR as Anwar Bakshi Sex Education 2x06

[certifiedsexed]

Certified Sex Ed Post!

Remember kiddos, good kink relationships come from genuinely enjoying another person outside of kink. Don't expect to get into a serious dynamic if you can't actually like the person attached to it.

[fixing-bad-posts]

Lol Children can know and learn about sex. It's why sex ed is in SCHOOL and We absolutely should have it. And you're sick if you think otherwise. love you.

[roboticbuild]

Btw shout-out to disabled people who feel sexual attraction but can't have sex or masturbate. Shout-out to disabled people who can't have sex or masturbate because it hurts. Shout-out to disabled people who can't have sex or masturbate because they're dependant on a caregiver. Shout-out to disabled people who can't have sex or masturbate because they're deemed "too mentally immature". Shout-out to disabled people who can't have sex or masturbate because they would be bedridden for days if not weeks on end. Shout-out to disabled people who can't have sex because they can't get into the right positions. Shout-out to disabled people who can't have sex because once their partner finds out they're disabled they refuse. Shout-out to disabled people who can't have sex because they can't go out to meet people.

Disabled people are not your uwu sexless perfect babies or broken people incapable of sexual pleasure. We deserve to be talked about in all aspects of life and the fact we aren't taught sex ed besides from an able bodied and able mental standpoint is genuinely god awful. No one talks Abt this and we deserve to be seen

[certifiedsexed]

[ID: the "Is this a pigeon" meme, showing an anime character pointing at a butterfly. It's edited, the butterfly is captioned "some fucked up shit", and the character is now asking: "is this an EDS comorbidity". /end ID].

Gather around, my young friends and fellow dinosaurs, let me tell you about some BULLSHIT no one ever tells you about. I'm talking about menopause and perimenopause. Now, menopause has a very stringent medical definition. You have to not have had a period for exactly 12 months and a day to be considered in menopause. All the bullshit before that day once you start going through The Change is considered perimenopause. Here's some bullshit you might experience that people actually talk about when you're in perimenopause:

- shorter time between periods

- irregular periods

- hot flashes and/or cold flashes

- fucked up sleep

- OMG NIGHT SWEATS

- Vagina as dry as the Sahara desert

- lighter periods and/or endless bleeding like it's The Flood but it's in your pants

- lack of interest in Adult Fun Times

This time of joy can last anywhere from a couple of years to a god damn decade and there's no medical way right now to predict it.

Here's some of the REAL bullshit they don't tell you about but your dinosaur aunt is here to let you know:

- You can start perimenopause in your 30s, don't listen to idiot doctors who tell you you're "too young" because they don't know your body like you do.

- Perimenopause will make you HELLA DUMB. Seriously, I'm talking Bigly broken brain. Brain fog? Check. Short term memory? Wave goodbye to it. Ability to make words form out of thoughts? Yeah, good luck to you.

- Perimenopause can cause horrible fatigue because in addition to losing estrogen, you're also losing testosterone. Oh and that also leads to muscle wasting, cool cool.

- Things might suddenly hurt more because estrogen is known to be neuroprotective.

- If you're super lucky like I am, and like to collect rare illnesses, you might even get Burning Mouth Syndrome 💀

- And meanwhile, while you're going through this bullshit, you'll be getting gaslit by doctors who are operating based on 30 year old debunked data about how HRT causes breast cancer (not really) and that they shouldn't put you on it until you're in actual menopause. (Data shows starting HRT early can potentially prevent Alzheimer's in later years.)

- There are entire online clinics right now (I use Midi Health) focused on providing care for peri and menopausal patients and they will happily prescribe you HRT even if your regular PCP or OBGYN do not (if you meet the criteria). I've been pretty impressed with how holistically they view the patient. For full disclosure, I learned about them from my integrative health doctor and they do not accept Medicare (yet).

I'm 46 years old right now and I've been symptomatic for perimenopause for the last 8 years, although it's gotten the most dramatic in the past 2 years or so, which I hope means I'm almost done, holy hell. Yeah I was on the early side, but if it can happen to me, it can happen to you, so it's never too early to think about these things. And I hope to at least spare some of you the mind-fuckery I've been through because no one told me about most of this stuff, including my own mother who just DOESN'T REMEMBER what happened to her and now I completely understand why. And because I also have a connective tissue disease, I used to just dismiss my pain and fatigue as being caused by that illness rather than the loss of hormones.

Anyways, this is why we need Elders in our lives, so they can do Grandma Story Hour like I just did and validate you when the entire medical field tries to gaslight you. I hope you've found some or all of this educational/useful. Please share with your friends because we really do NOT talk about this stuff enough. (Ewwww Moon Blood!)

Stay well, and don't let the bastards grind you down!

[horny-mushroom]

Let’s not pretend doms don’t need after care too.

Ask them if they are satisfied, whether they came or not. Do they want to cum?

If they need anything to drink.

Perhaps they might be cramping from putting a lot of effort.

Tell them they did well and which parts you enjoyed the most.

Compliment them for their work.

Cuddle up to them.

Offer help for the clean up afterwards.

Order food together.

Sex can be something casual, but might be intense too. Either physical or mentally. Take care of each other and regularly communicate with each other. No question should be taboo. It’s better to be safe than sorry.