jess-le-mess

[jess-le-mess]

Vote for those who can't

Some of you who live in the US might not be enthusiastic about voting this year.

Maybe you hate both Trump and Harris. I've heard your reasons, and I'm not here to argue about them.

But if you can't find your own reasons to vote, I urge you to vote on behalf of people who can't vote in this election. What are their needs and interests, and what can your vote do for them?

Young people who are not old enough to vote. They will live in the future longer than you will. What kind of world will we leave to them?

Disabled people who can't get to the polling place in person but live in states where it is difficult to get an absentee ballot. Which party will make it easier for them to vote in future elections?

People who don't already have the form of ID that is required in their state. They would have to pay a fee and send off for a birth certificate, and then get to a government office during business hours to get a suitable ID. Maybe they don't have a car and can't get time off from their two or three jobs (and cash is still tight). Again, who will make it easier for them to vote?

Felons who have completed their sentences but whose voting rights have not been restored. What policies will encourage them to reintegrate into society and avoid re-offending?

Non-citizens who are in the US legally. They don't have the right to vote here, but they pay taxes and our government policies affect them too. What is fairest to them?

In fact, I hope you will care about people who are here illegally. Which party will treat them humanely?

People outside the United States. I'm not going to use the trite phrase "leader of the free world," but the President of the United States is one of the most influential positions on Earth. Who will make things better for everyone, not just for Americans? I've heard your concerns about Israel's war against Gaza; but please be sure to consider the opinions of actual Palestinians, not just online leftists in the US.

See vote.org or vote.gov if you need information about where or how to vote.

[jess-le-mess]

im so confused. i thought we all agreed that our bodies have a weight they feel best at that they will return to. and that weight is genetic. yet the fat lib community is constantly talking about gaining weight on purpose now? as if our bodies are something we have full conscious control over (the bacteria that digest food in your intestines aren't even a part of your body....) and fucking "uhh its just cico, eat more = gain, eat less = lose" isn't what we have been fighting against?? i guess fatphobic "science" is ok as long as it makes your pussy wet? great.

NO! I don't know which fat lib circles you're in, but you are greatly misinformed! this is not how bodies work. clearly, this person does not want to believe that eating can cause weight gain and is butthurt that fat liberation is beginning to include feedists and/or people who do gain weight because of their diet.

"calories in = calories out" has long been debunked. you're correct that controlling your body size is nearly impossible. but what does it usually mean when we hear the word "controlling" your body? it means shrinking or even maintaining its size. gaining weight is a LOT easier than losing weight because our bodies are programmed for survival. yes, genetics play a part in your set point (the weight at which your body achieves homeostasis), but set points can and do increase. this is why it's so hard to keep weight off. calorie deficit actually DOES lead to weight loss, in fact its the ONLY thing that can lead to weight loss, but that weight loss is almost always temporary. this is the reason that diets fail. your body knows that it is starving, so it slows your metabolism and increases hunger and cravings. most people will regain more weight than they lost because the body increases the set point to a higher weight as insurance in case you starve it again. the fat liberation community knows that this is the reason intentional weight loss is no longer an option for us, but I have never read a study or even heard anyone argue that eating more does not effect your weight. it does. you're clearly referring to the feedism kink community in your ask - do you sincerely believe that gainers who are drinking heavy cream, eating upwards of 6,000 calories a day are not putting on weight? I've seen gainers & feedees blow up before my very eyes, babe! weight gain is ultimately way easier for the body than weight loss. we gain weight if we diet, we gain weight if we eat more than usual. we gain weight for numerous reasons. and that's okay.

the argument that ALL fat people are fat for no reason may make you feel better, but I urge you to question why that is. gaining weight from eating certain foods is not shameful or wrong. fat liberation is about advocating for fat people regardless of their eating habits or their health. you are caught up in respectability politics. we are showing up for the "bad" fatties (even the ones who chug gainer shakes).

[jess-le-mess]

Hand-painted leather jacket, approx early 90s

[jess-le-mess]

Too many people have this idea that they have to be a certain size to live their lives or do what they want to in life. And that’s one of the saddest and most disgusting things about our society and the diet culture we live in. The lie that fat people aren’t worthy of the fullest life. Fuck That Noise. The worth of a human being is not tied to their weight. 

[jess-le-mess]

when i was 17 and in the eating disorder trenches i saw people online talking abt how the fat liberation movement & unlearning fatphobia helped them recover and i did NOT like hearing that i was SO mad about it i was like well having an eating disorder doesnt mean im fatphobic!!! This is ableist etc etc. And then i learned abt the fat liberation movement and started unlearning fatphobia and guess what . it does help

[jess-le-mess]

Shoutout to everyone relearning who they are after a lifetime of believing that losing weight was all they had to offer the world.

[jess-le-mess]

😭💖

accurate af

tag game!

Your last emojis are your gender

🇺🇲👍

Uh

@erikaskblog @fymo-blogs

[jess-le-mess]

You cannot be everything to everyone, not in your circle of friends, not at work, as a volunteer , not in your family and where else this counts. There will be people you will be closer with, and there will be people other people are closer with. You cannot let every single person you interact with lean on you in a prolonged way, in a deep way. You can offer short messages and kind words, but you cannot be there for everyone in the true sense of the word, and you are not a bad person for it, you are human. You are also not a bad friend/coworker/etc for it. Ideally everyone has their confidants, and you cannot be everyones, and everyone isn’t yours, and you do well to remember that if you feel bad about it. It is okay and natural, and if you interact enough with people, you can also sort of start to figure out their own network of confidants and how well they are covered. And I hope you remember that if you ever feel like you aren’t offering enough, cause you cannot pour to everyone. You got limited funds, and some will need more funds than you have, but hopefully there’s enough going around that everyone is covered in some way. 🌸

[jess-le-mess]

so, just to update to say that intuitive eating kicks ass. i've been doing it as part of therapy for about a month now, but today is the first day where it really hit how different it is from what i was doing before.

like, today i made a very elaborate dinner and dessert and I still have spoons left to do my bedtime self-care routines, maybe read a book, even some schoolwork if i'm feeling spicy.

without all the mental bullshit around food/eating sucking up all the mental bandwidth, it didn't feel like a chore and it wasn't even hard and i'm not tired now. normally, making a meal would claim my entire remaining energy for the whole day, so that's neat.

[jess-le-mess]

My aro ass is kinda both at the same time lol

I'm A but pansexual

Artist: better with salt

[jess-le-mess]

lesbians you have to let yourself embrace desire. you can’t just yearn forever

[jess-le-mess]

The point of life is hedonism. Be nice, have fun. Give and take pleasure

[jess-le-mess]

yeah, like, i have similar photo anxieties and this is nightmare fuel to me.

i always report this shit when i see it (on here, but also in person if i think i can safely do so), and if you're sharing creepshots i'll 100% block you.

it is an act of violence to make someone the object of your sexual attention without their consent.

and maybe that never occurred to you, Taker of Creepshots, because society often doesn't think of women as people, doesn't think of fat people as people, well whatever, do fucking better.

So, I'm seeing something in this community, that I'm not too fond of.

Taking pictures of random people just trying to go about their day. Yeah, I get it, they may be hot as hell, but they don't know or consent to the photos being taken.

Especially ones where they're at work.

Before I started gaining, and realized I wanted to be bigger, I would be humiliated, ashamed, and feel dirty and used (not in a fun way. Consent matters). I would feel like their doing it just to make fun of me, because it's happened so frequently in the past.

I would be terrified of this exact thing. Someone using a photo of my fatness online for attention, or to just share around because "look how fat he is".

It would make me feel like complete shit, and ruin whatever confidence I had that day.

That's what your doing.

Your creep shotting and bullying.

You are quite literally posting a photo online going "look how fat they are".

That bullying from an outside view.

If they don't have this kink (which the majority don't - remember that) then they aren't interested in being sexualized in that way.

Simple thing to do, is think you yourself "holy shit that's hot" and keep walking.

Voyeurism is like any other kink.

Please don't creepshot.

Concent matters.

In all aspects of life.

_________

If you have done it in the past, and choose to stop, and stop sharing, absolutely no judgement, as long as you don't moving forward.

[jess-le-mess]

we must promote fat sluttiness to rub it in the faces of the assholes who told us it was shameful

[jess-le-mess]

i'm dipping my toes into intuitive eating as part of my recovery from disordered eating and honestly it's exactly like this.

at first, i did kinda just want sweet stuff because that's the main thing i always denied myself, but I still, like, cooked dinner and stuff (although also gave myself permission to, like, make a frozen dinner if i wasn't feeling like cooking). and now i find that i'm craving sweet stuff a bit less (and maybe craving different sweet stuff) and having more varied cravings of things like various cheeses or carrots or mustard (a real one I had; just wanted to put some mustard on a cheese sandwich?) or whatever.

and i find i put more effort and thought into what i eat which is cool. by "effort and thought," i mean it's like i'm preparing meals now as if they're for someone i love (which i should have been all along, as i'm preparing them for me).

like, food and meals are a meaningful part of my day, rather than this annoying thing that is always some internal moral battle all the time. it's leading to a more varied list of things i will eat, but somehow also takes less spoons to actually plan and make meals.

so yeah, intuitive eating is rad.

genuinely insane that diet culture poisoned people will insists that, if they don't diet, they'll just "eat cake all day" or some other type of sweet candy

because... that's not how it works

like, if you completely give up any sort of dieting and go for intuitive eating (meaning: listening to your own body and giving it what it craves), you're probably gonna be eating "unhealthy" at first, because you've been denying your body something it desperately needs.

For one person, that can be sweets.

For another, that can be fast food.

Just imagine literally anything that could potentially deemed "unhealthy" by diet culture, and someone is gonna crave just that once they start intuitive eating.

But back to my point No one is gonna be eating "only cake" if they don't make a conscious effort to monitor every little thing about their diet, because that's not how the human body (or any living body) works. It's your body's job to keep you alive and well. This includes your diet. Your body knows you can't live entirely off of cake. It's gonna crave salty things, too, not just sweet stuff. And by "salty", i mean, like, an actual meal.

And believe it or not, but vegetables? Can be fucking amazing. On the condition that you focus on making a meal that tastes good instead of being "healthy". Believe it or not, but you're gonna benefit more from a vegetable medley that tastes fucking amazing, than you're gonna get from the same vegetables but raw and unseasoned. I'm not kidding, how much you enjoy your food has a real and measurable effect on how many nutrients of said meal you end up absorbing.

Another benefit of intuitive eating I've personally found is that I'm much more willing to try new things, especially new vegetables. Like, I'm seirous, just listening to your body and trusting yourself to know what you need, like how every single living being, including humans, have been surviving for literal millions of years, is actually really good for you. Cutting out entire food groups, because some """health official""" being paid billions of dollars to say that it's unhealthy and what you REALLY need is their company's product, is NOT good for you. At all.

[jess-le-mess]

I'll post something as simple as "anyway fat people exist" and people will hop ass first into my comments to post some version of "BUT THEY SHOULDN'T!!" Usually because "IT'S UNHEALTHY!!" and "DON'T I WANT EVERYONE TO BE HEALTHY??"

I've never claimed that there are no fat individuals with health problems, but it is a fact that fat individuals can also have zero health problems. Fatphobes seemingly cannot fathom this.

I've never claimed that fat bodies are, have been, or will be the norm, but it is a fact that fat people have always existed. We've always been there as part of human diversity. Fatphobes like to pretend that we haven't (or they agree in the sense that they think "all of human history" is how long humanity has tried and failed to eradicate us, but eventually it'll happen. That's a whole other post I think).

I've never claimed that there aren't health risks associated with higher body weight, but the fact remains that all the conditions associated with fat bodies, also occur in thin people. In other words, sure, your weight impacts the statistical likelyhood of some health problems - but there's 1) no eliminating the risk, and 2) no basis for naming fatness as the root cause. It's a correlation. Fatphobes seem to believe a thin body guarantees a long and healthy life, while a fat body is inevitably destined for misery and early death. This is just not true. By all means, do everything you like to stay healthy and functioning! That's obviously not a bad thing! But I'm sorry to tell you you'll never be in control, and you'll also never be able to determine someone's health status and history just by looking at their size.

I've never claimed that health doesn't matter, but it is a fact that some people will never be healthy for whatever reason. That is not the same as them being dead, worthless, unlovable, or morally unacceptable. Fatphobes seem to disagree.

I've never claimed that I think everyone in the world is always making the best choices for their health and well-being. But the fact is, bodily autonomy means it's none of my fucking business. People are in charge of their own bodies. I don't get to tell you what the best version of yourself looks like, and vice versa. Fatphobes are still learning this it seems.

And I've never claimed some kind of fat supremacy but I stand by the opinion that it's ok and common and human to be fat. Now if everyone could stop shitting themselves over this that would be swell 🥰

[jess-le-mess]

It will never not baffle me how hard society tries to insist that fatness is an abnormality. The average western woman wears plus size clothing. One of the smallest garments on the scale is called a medium. Most people with anorexia are in the overweight bmi category, yet somehow that's known as "atypical anorexia". Fatness is often labeled the cause of a number of diseases, but there are literally no diseases exclusive to fat bodies. Looking at movies and television, you'd think the world was 98% thin people. It's not.

My point isn't that if it was pretty rare to be fat, fatphobia would be okay. Of course not.

My point is that we're surrounded by all these artificial indicators that fatness is unnatural and uncommon and it's just not true?? Humans are not always thin and we've never all been thin and we're not all meant to be thin. Fat humans are a normal type of human. Fatness is a feature, not a bug.