#kink positive

[fucktoyfelix]

This is horrible, as Etsy was the best place to get high quality kink gear and now many of those shops have been banned. Big brand alternatives often sell much lower quality items than individual sellers selling hand made items. This is what happens when people treat sex as something inherently unsafe: artists have their livelihood destroyed. If anyone is aware of the personal websites of some of these artists who got banned, please link them and I'll try to compile a list. Also feel free to @etsy on social media about how you feel about this decision

[fixing-bad-posts]

I'm sorry; anything can be a kink. Yes, kink at pride wear your leather dog mask and chain leash at this town pride parade. Have at it king Go to a party! Go! I want to take my gay family to gay spaces

[transsexualfiend]

Repeat after me: kink is not a "gateway" to committing a crime.

[waterme-stories]

there's something here. I don't know what. but something

[xx-slug-xx]

“Your fantasies equal your real life desires”

I’m fucking asexual? I have no desire to do anything I fantasize about irl. Same with a shit ton of other people who are aspec?

Tbh, I think it’s just queerphobic, specifically aphobic but other shit too, to say “your fantasies are what you want irl.

It’s not just aspecs either. I know a fuck ton of lesbians who fantasize about fictional men. They are not any less lesbians because of their fantasies though.

I could go on with more about how it’s a stupid argument, and even how it’s ableist in certain contexts, but I’ll save that for other posts lmao

[liminityy]

masculine trans women 🤝 feminine trans men

[catgirl-catboy]

"Murder is okay to glorify because nobody is getting off on it."

You sweet summer child. Everything is somebodies kink, write that down. I've met many people that enjoy gore and murder in a sexual way (and most of them were lovely people, but not relevant)

and I think its very telling that the worst thing you can fathom is somebody getting off to shit you hate, and not, you know, a real person being hurt.

[fucktoyfelix]

Choking Safety

I've been seeing some kind of scare-mongering type posts going around about choking during sex, so I wanted to address how to approach choking in a safe way. Choking is not a 0 risk activity, but it is also not so dangerous that you will just randomly die either. Anyone who does martial arts will confirm that thousands of teenagers are being successfully trained to choke each other safely (for self defense) every day! There's no reason you can't learn to do it too.

First you should be familiar with some basic anatomy of the neck and throat:

The carotid veins on both sides of the neck and the trachea/windpipe in the center are the most important things to be aware of. If you want to enjoy the psychological element of having someone's hands around your neck with relatively little risk, you can do "choking" play that avoids putting any pressure on those arteries or the trachea. As with all choking play, safety is highest when both parties are fully sober. I'm not actually sure if there are people out there who are into having the windpipe or trachea blocked. This tends to hurt like fuck and cause an autonomic choking response. You'll know if you went too far center because generally the bottom will be like "WTH". I don't know if there is a way to do this play safely or not as I don't have experience with it. It probably carries some risk of the trachea collapsing which would be a hospital trip for sure. Most choking play is done with the intention of cutting off the blood supply to the brain by applying pressure to both the left and right carotid arteries. This type of choking is not really "breath play" because of the way it works (though many people refer to it that way.) This creates a pleasant light headed feeling, but is also where the higher risk comes in. It often doesn't take long for a person to lose consciousness once these arteries are blocked, often less than 10 seconds. Sometimes getting completely choked out is the goal, sometimes not. Either way, the top has to pay very very careful attention to every aspect of their bottom's body language. Once you realize that a person has lost consciousness, the choking must stop immediately. Because of this: the most dangerous way to do this kind of play is alone. (hence all the auto-erotic asphyxiation deaths you hear about) It goes without saying that intoxication also dramatically increases the risks. It's not recommended to lose consciousness this way on a regular basis. It's just not good for your brain to repeatedly go through, especially in rapid succession. Generally, the more time spaced out between this type of play: the better. Though some people may have medical conditions that make the risk higher, as long as you stop choking when you reach the desired headspace, this play is approachable. Anyone who's REALLY into the idea but feels unsure or scared, I highly recommend taking a few martial arts classes. MMA guys do this to each other all the time! For sports! The key is just stopping at the right time. There are two main ways to go about blocking the carotid arteries. The main one used in martial arts and self defense is the rear naked choke.

This type of choke is incredible effective at choking someone out quickly and easily. The forearm and the bicep are squeezing each artery until the desired effect is achieved. The risk here is how quickly it works in combination with not being able to have a visual on your bottom's facial response. When someone loses consciousness they will go limp and begin twitching somewhat. This is normal, and you should stop immediately if you notice those signs. The more common method of choking play during sex is what looks more like typical choking. Facing your partner, using both hands.

You want to find the arteries with both hands, and use the meat at the base of your thumbs to apply gradually increasing pressure upwards towards your partner's head. You can keep the thumbs tucked to avoid accidental pressure on the windpipe. (Though this is not required so long as you remember not to apply pressure to the windpipe.) This type of play has a few safety benefits. First, you can see your partner's face so it's more obvious when you can see they've hit a headspace that is desirable. Additionally, it's just a little more difficult to find the arteries and push up on them correctly. If your goal is to get a little light headed without losing consciousness, this is more easily accomplished with this type of choke. However, losing consciousness is still a risk and both partners being fully alert will ensure the lowest risk environment. I know choking play is incredibly popular, even 'vanilla' people participate in this type of play on a regular basis without really knowing the technical details. Most of them don't get seriously hurt...but knowing what you're actually doing with risky play is a base component of risk aware consensual kink. Anyway I hope people find this helpful! Happy choking!!

[quinloki]

The Vivre Bar Discord

Well, turns out I am indeed nuts.

The Vivre Bar is an 18+ discord primarily for x reader/OC/Self-insert One Piece fans.

Please Note: You do NOT need to have OCs, Self-inserts, or even be a big huge fan of reader inserts to join.

If you have disdain toward any of those categories you probably don't *want* to join, all things considered, but if you're a lurker, a One Piece fan, a fan of other people's OCs, or someone whose just looking for a positive, safe space to be a part of, then you're welcome to come check us out.

The bar is Queer-friendly, kink-friendly, sex work positive, so and so forth. There is no gate-keeping in the Champagne Room - or any room.

We promote curating your own space at the bar:

You're allowed to block other users We encourage you to mute channels you're not interested in. There's space for other fandoms as well \o/

There are NSFW, Kink, and Dead Dove spaces you can opt in to, but you won't see those sections without choosing so.

This is an adult space, however, so please note it will often not be safe for work, and you should set your notifications accordingly.

DM, Ask, Comment, etc. and let me know if you'd like an invite, or if you have questions. ^_^

I hope you decide to give the bar a look, and no matter how long you decide to stay, I hope your time with us is pleasant 💖

[fuqer]

the "jaws made people fear sharks" argument against kink stuff is actually a really great example of why education is important.

the average person does not interact with sharks regularly and isn't given thorough education about sharks, thus their perception of sharks is going to be more easily warped by fictional media.

however, thanks to education, the average person DOES know that the moon is a big rock that orbits the earth and reflects sunlight. so when fictional media has lore that contradicts this, most people understand that it is fiction and their beliefs regarding how celestial bodies work do not change. simply enjoying a story where the moon is actually a girl that sacrificed herself to maintain the balance of the water spirits does not mean i believe that that's what it is in real life.

when i was in high school, i was educated on the importance of consent in the bedroom. when i read a story where a character is sexually assaulted and the narration does not explicitly condemn it, i still understand that sexual assault is morally wrong in real life. anyone who has had the same education as i did will also understand this.

it's not a matter of not making things that might give the wrong idea, it's a matter of making sure people are educated on the subject so they know to separate fiction from reality. which means proper sex ed.

tl;dr: stop advocating for bans on weird porn and start advocating for quality sex ed, because the latter is actually possible to implement and will actually solve the root of the problem.

[littledaisypup]

🌈 ! some rent-lowering gunshots here ! 🌈

i made an age regressor flag that's pro-kink, for those who support or also participate in kink! the bars might not be perfectly symmetrical because I kinda freehanded this lmao

specifically this is for my moots and all others who are pro kink, proship, anti censorship, etc. and are tired of the agere community being so puritan and gatekeepy.

🩷 Pastel pink for fem regressors

💛 Yellow for happiness

🤍 White for nonbinary/agender/genderfluid/etc. regressors

💜 Lilac for healing

🩵 Pastel blue for masc regressors

❤️ And finally the light red heart in the middle is for acceptance and tolerance/pro-kink/anti-shame!

please feel free to suggest any changes or reblog if you use!!

[that-hippie-user]

X3 sooooooo like, i found a hack for my anxiety and executive dysfunction? and its legit just self hypnosis.

(⸝⸝๑﹏๑⸝⸝)

⛛

just putting on a dizzying track... blocking out all the dumb noises of the apartment with my noise cancelling headphones, letting myself get lost in the repeating rhythm as comforting as a heartbeat~

UwU removes all tension from my mind completely and lets me get done what i need to.

@w@ unrelated, but i appear to be in diapers now, a freshly washed paci between my lips, and a teddy bear in my arms.

was it me? did i just put these on cuz in trancemode i dont care? did an alter step in and diaper me? did i order myself to? i have no idea and i dont care.

^u^ anyway here's a selfie and the exact video im listening to. maybe itll help YOU be more productive! :D just picture yourself as a diapered maid or a servile dolly and you'll be washing dishes and making important phone calls in no time!

UwU and yes, while i am mostly-lucid, i am DEFINITELY zonked.

@w@ a Goddess has to lead by example, right?

Update: 🤤 hehehehe~ my diapees got all warm~

[senator-onahole]

I'm actually allowed to have my boyfriend on a leash in public because he's a service animal

[hereticcryptid]

Hm. Something about "says the porn blog" or "you have a sex blog your opinions are irrelevant" sets me off. I can't quite articulate it but something something puritanism and sex negativity. If they're not bots, the people behind those blogs are still people

[fucktoyfelix]

This is actually a useful thing to understand how to spell out. What exactly is wrong with puritanical attitudes towards sexuality? TW: Discusses body image issues, suicide, STIs, sexual assault etc

1. It fosters fear, disgust and loathing of our bodies. By hiding the human body as soon as we are born, and treating it as an object of inherent shame: THAT creates trauma. Shame is one of the primary sources of trauma, its the fuel and lets trauma burn. Those raised in nudist societies, and children raised in households where nudity is treated in a neutral and non-sexual tend to have a much more positive relationship with their bodies as adults. This makes complete sense when you think about it. Going through puberty not knowing if your body is "normal" terrifies children in ways that stick with them for life. In fact, most cultures outside of the Unites States aren't as strange about non-sexual nudity actually...and are healthier for it. We can't have body positivity as long as we are literally criminalized for having an uncovered body. 2. It creates fear, shame and disgust about sex. Most people have sex at some point in their lives. No one would be here at all without it. Most people have sexual desires which lie outside their control. When people are ashamed of those desires, it leads to self hatred, and depression and anxiety. This shame is just as traumatic as bodily shame. When sex is normalized, and treated with the same candor as any other hobby: it becomes less apt to traumatize people.

3. Puritanical attitudes towards sex limit sex education. When people are too ashamed to talk about sex, people don't learn about pregnancy, stis, or consent. All of these things can and do kill people when they aren't addressed with an open dialogue.

Sexual shame leads to people too ashamed to buy condoms, to talk to their doctor about birth control, to ask their partner to use protection, to get tested...the negative health impacts of sexual puritanism have a massive negative effect on society.

4. Sexual shame leads to poorer communication in relationships. Ohh if I had a dime for every person i knew who ruined their relationship because they felt too guilty to talk to their partner about their sexual feelings...Not just that, but the general body shame that comes with puritanism blocks people from connecting to one another too. Have you ever avoided getting close to someone because you were ashamed of your body? If not, I guarantee you know someone who has.

5. Misogyny! Puritanical sexual believes hold that women are not capable of sexual agency. That only men should initiate sex. That women should only ever want babies and not pleasure from sex. All of this rolls right into the next one:

6. Victim blaming in sexual assault. When women are the gatekeepers of sex, its easy to blame them when they 'fail' to protect their chastity when someone violates their trust. This isn't something that just effects women: as the same attitudes hold that men are not capable of experiencing sexual assault. The lack of education and discussion about sex in a sex-negative world inherently prevent the open dialogues necessary for creating and maintaining consent culture.

7. Suppression and marginalization of the queer community. If we're too ashamed to talk about sex, we'll be too ashamed to talk about sexuality. Puritans can't accept any deviation from gender norms either. Anything other than sex between a cis man and a cis woman for the purpose of making a baby is a deviant kink, a mental illness, and needs to be wiped out. Its important to point out that many queer people hold puritanical values about sex: believing that they can achieve sex negativity and queer liberation at the same time. However, sex negative movements always rise with censorship and discrimination of queer people...because queer people are inherently considered deviant by the vast majority of sex negative "allies". It's very dangerous to forget this.

8. Censorship of art. Who decides what is sexual and what is not? Its easy to agree that sex needs to be hidden...but it never takes long before the definition of what is "sexual" expands. Even women's breasts are considered sexual in the United States. Its so normal for Americans to think of them that way that women can't feed their children in public. Drag queens face violence for reading at libraries. Books get taken off the shelves. Artists are bullied offline.

9. Censorship of scientific exploration. Scientific research into reproductive health, sexual behavior, gender identity and more are often hindered due to the "moral objections" of puritans, delaying progress and understanding. That's just off the top of my head. I think its time for people to take how problematic 'puritanism' is more seriously. As we see fascism rear its ugly head all over the world, we're going to see a lot more talk about 'degenerates'...and we know where that kind of talk leads.

[fixing-bad-posts]

I brought my six year old niece to a pride parade and I would go to a pride parade with a child again. What I saw was pride, you need kink to express that. My six year old don't need to look!