#kink positive

[fucktoyfelix]

This is horrible, as Etsy was the best place to get high quality kink gear and now many of those shops have been banned. Big brand alternatives often sell much lower quality items than individual sellers selling hand made items. This is what happens when people treat sex as something inherently unsafe: artists have their livelihood destroyed. If anyone is aware of the personal websites of some of these artists who got banned, please link them and I'll try to compile a list. Also feel free to @etsy on social media about how you feel about this decision

[fixing-bad-posts]

I'm sorry; anything can be a kink. Yes, kink at pride wear your leather dog mask and chain leash at this town pride parade. Have at it king Go to a party! Go! I want to take my gay family to gay spaces

[transsexualfiend]

Repeat after me: kink is not a "gateway" to committing a crime.

[waterme-stories]

there's something here. I don't know what. but something

[xx-slug-xx]

“Your fantasies equal your real life desires”

I’m fucking asexual? I have no desire to do anything I fantasize about irl. Same with a shit ton of other people who are aspec?

Tbh, I think it’s just queerphobic, specifically aphobic but other shit too, to say “your fantasies are what you want irl.

It’s not just aspecs either. I know a fuck ton of lesbians who fantasize about fictional men. They are not any less lesbians because of their fantasies though.

I could go on with more about how it’s a stupid argument, and even how it’s ableist in certain contexts, but I’ll save that for other posts lmao

[liminityy]

masculine trans women 🤝 feminine trans men

[catgirl-catboy]

"Murder is okay to glorify because nobody is getting off on it."

You sweet summer child. Everything is somebodies kink, write that down. I've met many people that enjoy gore and murder in a sexual way (and most of them were lovely people, but not relevant)

and I think its very telling that the worst thing you can fathom is somebody getting off to shit you hate, and not, you know, a real person being hurt.

[growmydarling]

when playing up feeding or degrading or teasing someone beyond what you or they ever dreamed, it's important to set limits ahead of time, so consent can run smoothly and sexily along with the roleplay. how much is too much? do you really want all that? and checking in is *super sexy* amidst playing.

do you like it when i ____, baby? how is it when i call you a fucking ____? ease up or more, my little slut? 💚

so sexy, so comforting, so caring! you don't have to wait for afterplay to let your partner know you give a shit about their well-being.

[ace-aro-queerplatonic-positivity]

Credit: insta @/acedadadvice

[there was no image description on Instagram or Facebook, I would welcome if someone wrote one into a reblog]

Obviously these terms aren’t set in stone, these definitions aren’t gospel, use whatever definition/ term you are most comfortable with!

I’m sharing this because I went “oh hey, it me!” when I saw this.

I have made it a point to call myself averse to sex consistently and I will keep using sex-aversion to describe my views. It’s nice to see this info-graphic mention aegosexuality in context of that :)

Because yea, I’m a sex-averse aego-ace

EDIT FOR CLARIFICATION: Aegosexual as a sub- / micro-label for asexuality is not inherently connected to being sex-averse. The mention of aegosexuality in this context refers to an aego-ace being comfortable with the fantasy/ idea/ imagination of sex without necessarily wanting to participate in those sexual acts. Many aegosexuals use the label because we prefer sexual fantasies and things we can remove ourselves from (aego literally meaning “without self”). Not all aego-aces are sex-averse. Which is precisely why I said “mentioned in the context of that” since aegosexuality is not inherent to being sex-averse and sex-aversion is not inherent to aegosexuality.

Also, please keep in mind this is about personal feelings towards sex and towards participating in sex. Most asexuals are sex-positive which means we support that everyone has the right to have as much or as little sex, as vanilla or as kinky, as they want to have.

Sex is not shameful, sex is simply something people can do with their bodies. Sex is exactly as meaningful/ intimate as the people participating want it to be. A bodily activity or the most intimate act to share with your chosen partner – it’s as important as you make it out to be, nothing more, nothing less.

[fucktoyfelix]

Choking Safety

I've been seeing some kind of scare-mongering type posts going around about choking during sex, so I wanted to address how to approach choking in a safe way. Choking is not a 0 risk activity, but it is also not so dangerous that you will just randomly die either. Anyone who does martial arts will confirm that thousands of teenagers are being successfully trained to choke each other safely (for self defense) every day! There's no reason you can't learn to do it too.

First you should be familiar with some basic anatomy of the neck and throat:

The carotid veins on both sides of the neck and the trachea/windpipe in the center are the most important things to be aware of. If you want to enjoy the psychological element of having someone's hands around your neck with relatively little risk, you can do "choking" play that avoids putting any pressure on those arteries or the trachea. As with all choking play, safety is highest when both parties are fully sober. I'm not actually sure if there are people out there who are into having the windpipe or trachea blocked. This tends to hurt like fuck and cause an autonomic choking response. You'll know if you went too far center because generally the bottom will be like "WTH". I don't know if there is a way to do this play safely or not as I don't have experience with it. It probably carries some risk of the trachea collapsing which would be a hospital trip for sure. Most choking play is done with the intention of cutting off the blood supply to the brain by applying pressure to both the left and right carotid arteries. This type of choking is not really "breath play" because of the way it works (though many people refer to it that way.) This creates a pleasant light headed feeling, but is also where the higher risk comes in. It often doesn't take long for a person to lose consciousness once these arteries are blocked, often less than 10 seconds. Sometimes getting completely choked out is the goal, sometimes not. Either way, the top has to pay very very careful attention to every aspect of their bottom's body language. Once you realize that a person has lost consciousness, the choking must stop immediately. Because of this: the most dangerous way to do this kind of play is alone. (hence all the auto-erotic asphyxiation deaths you hear about) It goes without saying that intoxication also dramatically increases the risks. It's not recommended to lose consciousness this way on a regular basis. It's just not good for your brain to repeatedly go through, especially in rapid succession. Generally, the more time spaced out between this type of play: the better. Though some people may have medical conditions that make the risk higher, as long as you stop choking when you reach the desired headspace, this play is approachable. Anyone who's REALLY into the idea but feels unsure or scared, I highly recommend taking a few martial arts classes. MMA guys do this to each other all the time! For sports! The key is just stopping at the right time. There are two main ways to go about blocking the carotid arteries. The main one used in martial arts and self defense is the rear naked choke.

This type of choke is incredible effective at choking someone out quickly and easily. The forearm and the bicep are squeezing each artery until the desired effect is achieved. The risk here is how quickly it works in combination with not being able to have a visual on your bottom's facial response. When someone loses consciousness they will go limp and begin twitching somewhat. This is normal, and you should stop immediately if you notice those signs. The more common method of choking play during sex is what looks more like typical choking. Facing your partner, using both hands.

You want to find the arteries with both hands, and use the meat at the base of your thumbs to apply gradually increasing pressure upwards towards your partner's head. You can keep the thumbs tucked to avoid accidental pressure on the windpipe. (Though this is not required so long as you remember not to apply pressure to the windpipe.) This type of play has a few safety benefits. First, you can see your partner's face so it's more obvious when you can see they've hit a headspace that is desirable. Additionally, it's just a little more difficult to find the arteries and push up on them correctly. If your goal is to get a little light headed without losing consciousness, this is more easily accomplished with this type of choke. However, losing consciousness is still a risk and both partners being fully alert will ensure the lowest risk environment. I know choking play is incredibly popular, even 'vanilla' people participate in this type of play on a regular basis without really knowing the technical details. Most of them don't get seriously hurt...but knowing what you're actually doing with risky play is a base component of risk aware consensual kink. Anyway I hope people find this helpful! Happy choking!!

[quinloki]

The Vivre Bar Discord

Well, turns out I am indeed nuts.

The Vivre Bar is an 18+ discord primarily for x reader/OC/Self-insert One Piece fans.

Please Note: You do NOT need to have OCs, Self-inserts, or even be a big huge fan of reader inserts to join.

If you have disdain toward any of those categories you probably don't *want* to join, all things considered, but if you're a lurker, a One Piece fan, a fan of other people's OCs, or someone whose just looking for a positive, safe space to be a part of, then you're welcome to come check us out.

The bar is Queer-friendly, kink-friendly, sex work positive, so and so forth. There is no gate-keeping in the Champagne Room - or any room.

We promote curating your own space at the bar:

You're allowed to block other users We encourage you to mute channels you're not interested in. There's space for other fandoms as well \o/

There are NSFW, Kink, and Dead Dove spaces you can opt in to, but you won't see those sections without choosing so.

This is an adult space, however, so please note it will often not be safe for work, and you should set your notifications accordingly.

DM, Ask, Comment, etc. and let me know if you'd like an invite, or if you have questions. ^_^

I hope you decide to give the bar a look, and no matter how long you decide to stay, I hope your time with us is pleasant 💖

[senator-onahole]

I'm actually allowed to have my boyfriend on a leash in public because he's a service animal

[fuqer]

the "jaws made people fear sharks" argument against kink stuff is actually a really great example of why education is important.

the average person does not interact with sharks regularly and isn't given thorough education about sharks, thus their perception of sharks is going to be more easily warped by fictional media.

however, thanks to education, the average person DOES know that the moon is a big rock that orbits the earth and reflects sunlight. so when fictional media has lore that contradicts this, most people understand that it is fiction and their beliefs regarding how celestial bodies work do not change. simply enjoying a story where the moon is actually a girl that sacrificed herself to maintain the balance of the water spirits does not mean i believe that that's what it is in real life.

when i was in high school, i was educated on the importance of consent in the bedroom. when i read a story where a character is sexually assaulted and the narration does not explicitly condemn it, i still understand that sexual assault is morally wrong in real life. anyone who has had the same education as i did will also understand this.

it's not a matter of not making things that might give the wrong idea, it's a matter of making sure people are educated on the subject so they know to separate fiction from reality. which means proper sex ed.

tl;dr: stop advocating for bans on weird porn and start advocating for quality sex ed, because the latter is actually possible to implement and will actually solve the root of the problem.

[cncwhore]

reblog if you would like to taste my innocence? Promise to hurt me please 🥰

[dumbbutchmutt]

Aaand one last set of gunshots

Kink positive because I'm not even into ddlg and yet homophobes call me a pedophile for wearing my pride and kissing women.

Kink positive because I'm not into feederism but the fatphobia that always comes with arguing against it is disgusting.

Kink positive because I'm not into Raceplay but someone who desperately wants to unpack what they've faced in a scenario where they have control finally is not for me to police, they get that enough outside.

Kink positive because I'm not into Pissplay or Feet but my kinks have been the brunt of jokes until "they're not funny anymore don't be actually gross"

kink positive because I'm not into detrans or dykebreaking, but I've met so many trans people and lesbians who want to unpack specific thibgs with someone they fucking trust. Because I watch even their own community cast them to the side and call them sick fake queers for a KINK that is FANTASY.

Kink positive because I have to be.

If we're ever going to ecape this puritan idea that you need to know what someone does in the bedroom so you can judge them, then you'll have to get over that some people like their own shit in their own time and if it's consenting adults you don't need to be involved.

[funkcore]

i love you people with fucked up sadistic fantasies i love you people who are guilty about having said fantasies i love you shy and awkward doms i love you short doms and disabled doms and people who are just learning about their dominant side and aren’t sure what to do next and anyone who doesn’t fit the average assumption of what a dom is supposed to be i love you doms with moral ocd i love you people who write dark fanfiction from the abusers pov i love you people who relate to and kin abusive characters i love you people who are afraid to express their desires because they don’t want to seem scary or predatory i love you