#kink positive

[fucktoyfelix]

Honestly my big problem with all the sex work subscription services isnt the 20% they take. (That commission is worth the service they provide hosting and managing payments imo)

Its always the damned tos! They always ban cnc, outdoor, hypnosis, etc. I understand its hard to moderate if something happening is actually legal...but they also always ban piss, scat, and blood, including menstrual blood. Which, I don't have any interest in creating...but its clear the policies are based on purintan ideas of disgust and not about safety.

So im toying with the idea of creating my own subscription service site so I can just freely post the realistic cnc, drugging and hypnosis shit that I'm actually passionate about.

[eris-abomination]

Regarding recent fuckery that’s been happening:

It’s okay to have kinks and fetishes.

It’s not okay to make random, non-consenting people on the internet subjects of or outlets for your kinks by sending them unsolicited messages where you express your sexual fantasies.

It’s ESPECIALLY NOT FUCKING OKAY to send a non-consenting transmasc Asks relating to your forcefem kink where you repeatedly discuss drugging him with estrogen, detransitioning and misgendering him, and doubling down when he explains that you not only made him uncomfortable, but dysphoric by fucking calling him a “cute girl” and saying “this isn’t about what you want”.

This is a kink-positive blog, but positivity does not mean forcing yourself on somebody without consent, disregarding their boundaries, and acting in a way that directly places them in an unsafe state. You have a responsibility in the kink/BDSM community to communicate exactly what you want from the encounter and to gain explicit, stated consent from both sides, ESPECIALLY if the kink in question involves subject matter that could potentially cause distress or harm. What’s going on here is absolutely disgusting and a total breach of consent in every aspect. This shit is literally sexual harassment.

Fucking learn what SSC/RACK/PRICK is. This person didn’t consent to you, so leave him the fuck alone.

[transsexualfiend]

Repeat after me: kink is not a "gateway" to committing a crime.

[waterme-stories]

there's something here. I don't know what. but something

[xx-slug-xx]

“Your fantasies equal your real life desires”

I’m fucking asexual? I have no desire to do anything I fantasize about irl. Same with a shit ton of other people who are aspec?

Tbh, I think it’s just queerphobic, specifically aphobic but other shit too, to say “your fantasies are what you want irl.

It’s not just aspecs either. I know a fuck ton of lesbians who fantasize about fictional men. They are not any less lesbians because of their fantasies though.

I could go on with more about how it’s a stupid argument, and even how it’s ableist in certain contexts, but I’ll save that for other posts lmao

[catgirl-catboy]

"Murder is okay to glorify because nobody is getting off on it."

You sweet summer child. Everything is somebodies kink, write that down. I've met many people that enjoy gore and murder in a sexual way (and most of them were lovely people, but not relevant)

and I think its very telling that the worst thing you can fathom is somebody getting off to shit you hate, and not, you know, a real person being hurt.

[growmydarling]

when playing up feeding or degrading or teasing someone beyond what you or they ever dreamed, it's important to set limits ahead of time, so consent can run smoothly and sexily along with the roleplay. how much is too much? do you really want all that? and checking in is *super sexy* amidst playing.

do you like it when i ____, baby? how is it when i call you a fucking ____? ease up or more, my little slut? 💚

so sexy, so comforting, so caring! you don't have to wait for afterplay to let your partner know you give a shit about their well-being.

[ace-aro-queerplatonic-positivity]

Credit: insta @/acedadadvice

[there was no image description on Instagram or Facebook, I would welcome if someone wrote one into a reblog]

Obviously these terms aren’t set in stone, these definitions aren’t gospel, use whatever definition/ term you are most comfortable with!

I’m sharing this because I went “oh hey, it me!” when I saw this.

I have made it a point to call myself averse to sex consistently and I will keep using sex-aversion to describe my views. It’s nice to see this info-graphic mention aegosexuality in context of that :)

Because yea, I’m a sex-averse aego-ace

EDIT FOR CLARIFICATION: Aegosexual as a sub- / micro-label for asexuality is not inherently connected to being sex-averse. The mention of aegosexuality in this context refers to an aego-ace being comfortable with the fantasy/ idea/ imagination of sex without necessarily wanting to participate in those sexual acts. Many aegosexuals use the label because we prefer sexual fantasies and things we can remove ourselves from (aego literally meaning “without self”). Not all aego-aces are sex-averse. Which is precisely why I said “mentioned in the context of that” since aegosexuality is not inherent to being sex-averse and sex-aversion is not inherent to aegosexuality.

Also, please keep in mind this is about personal feelings towards sex and towards participating in sex. Most asexuals are sex-positive which means we support that everyone has the right to have as much or as little sex, as vanilla or as kinky, as they want to have.

Sex is not shameful, sex is simply something people can do with their bodies. Sex is exactly as meaningful/ intimate as the people participating want it to be. A bodily activity or the most intimate act to share with your chosen partner – it’s as important as you make it out to be, nothing more, nothing less.

[fucktoyfelix]

Building Consent Culture

From consent.academy

"Consent” is a word with many meanings and applications. It is more than ‘no means no’ and ‘yes means yes’. These simple rules are sometimes helpful, but consent applies to every part of our daily lives - and life can get complicated!

Consent is mostly about feelings, sensations, and power. And feelings, sensations, and power are really complex things. ​How easy is it for you to talk about your feelings? Do you always understand why your body is having different sensations? Do you always know how powerful you are?

Consent is about slowing down and taking in the bigger picture. One way to understand consent is to consider it a shared feeling created together through a process of constant, collaborative discovery. It’s a feeling that comes from voluntary agreement (made without coercion) between those with decision-making capacity, knowledge, understanding, and autonomy.

Consent is present in all forms of human interaction (not just sex). 

Practicing consent creates a space where the safety and agency of all parties is honored, using healthy communication and negotiation to craft informed boundaries. Consent, explicit and implicit, is dependent on the context of the situation, and can be revoked at any time. In any given day, consent is affirmed and violated multiple times. People do it to us and we do it to other people. Creating the conditions for consent is a skill that gets better the more you practice. We need to practice consent in regular, day-to-day situations so we’re prepared for more intense ones like driving a car, being in romantic relationships, and having sex. If we violate consent in these situations, we could cause serious, lasting harm. Practicing consent everyday lowers the risk of consent violations happening, and it also prepares you for what to do when things go wrong.

How Do You Practice Consent?

There are many ways to practice consent. Below are 4 pillars to help you practice consent in your own unique contexts:

1) Capacity 

Capacity is about how able you are to both give and receive consent. How much ability do you have to describe exactly how you feel and make decisions that are right for you? And how much ability do you have to listen to the feelings and decisions of others? Slow down, pause, and check in with yourself and others on how you are really feeling, emotionally, physically, and mentally.

If someone’s capacity is lowered in some way, there’s more risk of a consent violation, so try and find out if there’s anything you can do to help boost each other’s capacity. The mnemonic H.A.L.T.S. can be helpful to check in on some important aspects of capacity - Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired, Sad/Sick/Stressed out.

Recognize that alcohol and other substances can lower your capacity a lot, if not entirely - if someone is unconscious, unable to remember what’s happening, or otherwise incapacitated, then the risk of consent violations is essentially guaranteed for most activities, but especially intense ones like driving or sex. People who are incapacitated need help to prevent harm occurring, so try to give the care they need, even as a bystander.

2) Information

Informed consent is about knowing and understanding exactly what you’re being asked to consent to. Is everyone answering questions honestly? Is everyone sharing and being open with the information they have? Does everyone understand what the words being used actually mean? Going through the “who, what, where, when, why, and how” is a good way to gather information. Pay special attention to the ‘what’, ‘why’, and ‘how’. For example, what does ‘hanging out’ mean? What exactly is a ‘date’? What does ‘having sex’ mean? Why do you want to do this activity, and with this person? What are the risks involved and how are you going to address them? The more you share and check for understanding, the less risk there will be of consent violation.

Being clear about what you're asking for is super important if you want to avoid misunderstandings and unintentional consent violations. And if someone asks you to do something, and you're not sure exactly what they mean or want, ask for clarification. You don't have to agree to something you don't fully understand.

 3) Agreement or Boundary Setting

​Once you have checked in on capacity and shared the information you need, the next step in the ongoing process of consent includes asking questions, making agreements, and setting boundaries. Being explicit is the least risky way to make an ask and set an agreement or boundary. Being explicit means being as clear and specific as possible. This includes:

Saying the words! Accurately describe the activity, how you feel about it, and if relevant, name the body parts involved. If it’s too difficult for you to say out loud, it’s too risky to do!

Setting time limits: Maybe you want to try something for a certain amount of time, or maybe you only have enough capacity for a limited amount of time. Setting a time limit is a good way to combine agreements and boundaries. For example, you might say, “I’m willing to try this, but if I don’t like it after 5 minutes, I want to stop.”

Some people say consensual agreements should be enthusiastic - enthusiasm is great, but sometimes people can seem enthusiastic when they’re actually nervous or scared. Judging someone’s body language can give you helpful information, but always ask how someone is feeling rather than assume. The way someone’s body is responding is not always representative of how they feel.

Again, agreement and boundary setting is part of an ongoing process. Take lots of breaks to check in on sensations specifically - how does your stomach feel? Is it tense or relaxed? Are your hands and feet warm or cold? How is your heart rate? Do you need a bathroom break? Asking questions like this gives someone the chance to figure out how they’re feeling by letting their mind and body catch up to each other. It also lets that person know you care about them as a whole person, and you understand that sometimes what we imagine something will feel like isn’t always the reality.

Remember that just because someone said ‘yes’ to something before, they don’t have to say ‘yes’ again. And if someone changes their mind in the middle of an activity - that’s ok! Stop and ask if there’s something else they’d rather do. Give people lots of time and space to answer honestly. Lastly, remind people often that saying ‘no’ is ok. It’s easy to forget, especially if we don’t feel powerful in a situation, or get overwhelmed by sensations.

4) Autonomy

Autonomy is why we practice consent at all. Autonomy is everyone’s inherent right to decide what’s best for their own body, mind, spirit, and story. If anyone wants to do something that involves other people’s bodies, minds, spirits, or stories, they have a responsibility to communicate and help create the feeling of consent between everyone involved. If they don’t, everyone gets to decide for themselves if they feel a consent violation has happened to them (this is when your boundaries have been crossed and you feel harmed). We all violate consent at some point, even if unintentionally, so we should practice taking accountability for our actions, as we would want others to do.  Accountability can be difficult but respecting someone’s ‘no’ is one of the easiest ways to honor autonomy. Don’t try to convince people to change their mind. Making someone feel afraid or unable to say ‘no’ is coercion, and a guaranteed way to violate consent. Also recognize that the absence of a ‘no’ is not a ‘yes’. Don’t assume that the way someone is dressed or behaving means they really want to say ‘yes’. Just don’t assume - it’s way too risky. Ask questions, listen carefully, and respect how people respond. Despite how complicated things can get, practicing consent can also be this simple.

[quinloki]

The Vivre Bar Discord

Well, turns out I am indeed nuts.

The Vivre Bar is an 18+ discord primarily for x reader/OC/Self-insert One Piece fans.

Please Note: You do NOT need to have OCs, Self-inserts, or even be a big huge fan of reader inserts to join.

If you have disdain toward any of those categories you probably don't *want* to join, all things considered, but if you're a lurker, a One Piece fan, a fan of other people's OCs, or someone whose just looking for a positive, safe space to be a part of, then you're welcome to come check us out.

The bar is Queer-friendly, kink-friendly, sex work positive, so and so forth. There is no gate-keeping in the Champagne Room - or any room.

We promote curating your own space at the bar:

You're allowed to block other users We encourage you to mute channels you're not interested in. There's space for other fandoms as well \o/

There are NSFW, Kink, and Dead Dove spaces you can opt in to, but you won't see those sections without choosing so.

This is an adult space, however, so please note it will often not be safe for work, and you should set your notifications accordingly.

DM, Ask, Comment, etc. and let me know if you'd like an invite, or if you have questions. ^_^

I hope you decide to give the bar a look, and no matter how long you decide to stay, I hope your time with us is pleasant 💖

[liminityy]

masculine trans women 🤝 feminine trans men

[senator-onahole]

I'm actually allowed to have my boyfriend on a leash in public because he's a service animal

[fixing-bad-posts]

I brought my six year old niece to a pride parade and I would go to a pride parade with a child again. What I saw was pride, you need kink to express that. My six year old don't need to look!

[fuqer]

the "jaws made people fear sharks" argument against kink stuff is actually a really great example of why education is important.

the average person does not interact with sharks regularly and isn't given thorough education about sharks, thus their perception of sharks is going to be more easily warped by fictional media.

however, thanks to education, the average person DOES know that the moon is a big rock that orbits the earth and reflects sunlight. so when fictional media has lore that contradicts this, most people understand that it is fiction and their beliefs regarding how celestial bodies work do not change. simply enjoying a story where the moon is actually a girl that sacrificed herself to maintain the balance of the water spirits does not mean i believe that that's what it is in real life.

when i was in high school, i was educated on the importance of consent in the bedroom. when i read a story where a character is sexually assaulted and the narration does not explicitly condemn it, i still understand that sexual assault is morally wrong in real life. anyone who has had the same education as i did will also understand this.

it's not a matter of not making things that might give the wrong idea, it's a matter of making sure people are educated on the subject so they know to separate fiction from reality. which means proper sex ed.

tl;dr: stop advocating for bans on weird porn and start advocating for quality sex ed, because the latter is actually possible to implement and will actually solve the root of the problem.

[cncwhore]

reblog if you would like to taste my innocence? Promise to hurt me please 🥰

[dumbbutchmutt]

Aaand one last set of gunshots

Kink positive because I'm not even into ddlg and yet homophobes call me a pedophile for wearing my pride and kissing women.

Kink positive because I'm not into feederism but the fatphobia that always comes with arguing against it is disgusting.

Kink positive because I'm not into Raceplay but someone who desperately wants to unpack what they've faced in a scenario where they have control finally is not for me to police, they get that enough outside.

Kink positive because I'm not into Pissplay or Feet but my kinks have been the brunt of jokes until "they're not funny anymore don't be actually gross"

kink positive because I'm not into detrans or dykebreaking, but I've met so many trans people and lesbians who want to unpack specific thibgs with someone they fucking trust. Because I watch even their own community cast them to the side and call them sick fake queers for a KINK that is FANTASY.

Kink positive because I have to be.

If we're ever going to ecape this puritan idea that you need to know what someone does in the bedroom so you can judge them, then you'll have to get over that some people like their own shit in their own time and if it's consenting adults you don't need to be involved.