#kink safety

[guarddogbutch]

you guys need to be normal about people who don't like penetration. people who don't get hard easily. people who finish quickly. people who participate in kink without having sex. people who don't like being touched. people who don't like giving head. people who only like penetration. people who (almost) always squirt. people who take a long time to cum. people who have a hard time getting wet. people who don't talk during sex or anything else that is not part of the way you think people or bodies should behave during sex

[transsexualfiend]

Repeat after me: kink is not a "gateway" to committing a crime.

[reddraven]

Hey fellow painsluts and other masochistic subbies... I just wanna share something that was helpful for me. Maybe it'll resonate with some of you too...

But like... its okay to not enjoy pain sometimes

And what I mean by that is recieving pain is not a passive role

It takes a lot of focus and mental energy to process that kind of intense stimuli. Learning how to translate pain into pleasure is a skill. Its something you develop over time

So if you're ever in a scene, and the pain your recieving is just... pain... its okay to stop, take a break, negotiate a different kind of scene , or do whatever you need to do

Take your time learning to process pain, and learning what kind of pain you like. You are still valid as a sub and as a masochist no matter where you are on that personal journey

[the-sapphic-sanctuary]

[m0thmancore]

hot take that should be much more lukewarm than it is: if your feminism doesn't have room for piercings and tattoos and dyed hair and collars and animal ear headbands and stuff like that, it's not really all that feminist.

people can just do what they want. if they want to get cosmetic surgeries or use different names or pronouns or dress "weird" those things are just allowed. cringe is dead. doing things that don't affect others in any meaningful way but make you feel good is good.

people can decorate their mobility aids. wear clothes with metal studs on them. go out in horrendously loud tie-dye mess clothes. we love that. that's bodily autonomy for you.

being loudly queer and gay and trans and a feminist and disabled and a legitimate animal and a furry is cool as fuck actually it's 2023.

use whatever swear words you want. the weird old WASPs giving you stares are because they're not as cool as you.

this also goes for kinks and those who (safely and consensually) practice them btw, even that one you find weird.

"bodily autonomy but only for people who make the same decisions as me about how to decorate and use theirs" isn't good feminism practices.

go forth and be safe ofc but above all be yourself

[hiddengiggles]

Please remember to cater to your basic human needs before engaging in kink!

That means:

Drink water. This is for safety sure, but orgasms are way better when you’ve got the raw materials for it. Same with just wetness/precum, better hydrated than dry.

Have a snack. Your body may go through a lot and you blood sugar being low is dangerous. You don’t need a full meal, but consider a little fruit if you’re keeping it light, and try to have something nearby for afterwards to rebalance your blood sugar.

Check in with your mental state. D/s can be a wonderful way to soften the sharp edges in your mind, but if you’re already feeling off, consider more gentle activity. Adding the risk of drop (subdrop or Domdrop) can make your wonky day into a shitty week. Not worth it, care for your longterm wellbeing above momentary fun.

Plan for rest. You need to give yourself time to recover after engaging! I don’t care if you cum or not, if you’re going to do a scene or session or whatever, plan out time for aftercare and, if you’re a person who needs it, maybe a nap/time to drift. Do not play right up until you have to be somewhere, your endorphin drop will fuck you up.

This probably isn’t an all inclusive list but a good little checklist so you can do fun stuff with a little more care for your health, happiness, and safety.

You may have things to add to this list as you get to know yourself more. For some, their meditation may be a factor. Others may need to plan for a specific ritual to prepare themselves so they feel good. Affirmations might be important to get ready for a scene and still feel good about it. Additional checklist items can be tailored to you/your dynamics/your partners, but the above apply to everyone.

So remember: hydrate, eat, mental check in, rest.

[frogmansfrog2]

Something that I feel is important to say especially to the misgendering kink community:

It's okay to have a lot of limits.

I constantly see the sexualization of people having no limits especially with trans guys and enbies as we're seen as "easy" to get and open to everything.

But it's completely normal and okay to have as many limits as you need. If someone doesn't respect them, that is not because your limits are not valid, it's because they are a shitty person.

Especially within this kink, you are allowed to pick and choose what you like. You don't have to be into CNC to be into misgendering. You don't have to like chest play or breeding. It's supposed to be fun for you. Don't feel pressured into saying you have no or very few limits just because it's something you see a lot of.

[just-somedude]

The number of times I've heard people tell me some version of "I didn't know people like you existed" because I gave them even the smallest amount of respect and basic human decency is insane. Subs should not feel pressured into giving a "dom" something, just because they feel they are supposed to.

You ALWAYS have the right to say no. You should NEVER feel obligated to send any pictures or perform certain tasks for someone elses pleasure. Too many people have been manipulated into thinking it's normal to be an actual toy for someone's pleasure, and not someone that deserves to be taken care of as well.

If your "dom" is forcing you to do something you're uncomfortable with, you can say no. If they pressure you into doing it, they are not a dom. They are a manipulator. If they don't allow you to have a safeword, they are not a dom.

Subs, please, protect yourselves. You have all the power. Talk to other subs, make friends in the community, learn about the do's and don't's from other people before submitting to a random stranger.

[needy--mutt]

Goddd my head is spinning, tried edging myself(I didn't last long) amd fuckkk I came so hard just from thinking about someone in my dm's arched and trembled from it, I feel so fuzzy and out of breath holy fuckk. But I'm still so hornyyy

[reddraven]

Hi hi! So my post about pain processing has gained some traction and I just thought I'd share my tips on how to get the most out of your freaky masochistic shenanigans.

(Disclaimer that I am not an educator of any kind. Literally I'm just some guy who likes pain)

1. Dispersion

This is my favorite pain processing method. The point here is to visualize the pain spreading throughout your body, decreasing in intensity as it travels further from the point of origin.

The easiest way to do this (for me) is to visualize the pain as a color that loses saturation as it flows through my body

So lets say its a spanking scene... with each strike, I might imagine a bright blue flash of light that starts at my ass and then becomes duller and duller as I visualize that light moving into my torso, through my limbs, and eventually fading away entirely

If you struggle with visualizations, you can also focus on things like heat or texture... Your skin will naturally warm up and become more sensitive while you're being (consensually) roughed up, so think about that heat... think about how intense it is at the point of impact, and then think about it spreading throughout your body, becoming cooler and cooler as it travels

2. Breathing

This is something I picked up from my marching band days and I've found that it puts me in an almost meditative state during scenes.

This is a simple one... just focus on breathing in for four counts, holding your breath for 2 counts, and then exhaling for another 4 counts and repeat

Any time you start to feel yourself panicking or struggling to process pain, just return to that breath

3. Allow yourself to feel

This is probably the most important tip, but if you're like me, then outwardly expressing pain might not come naturally to you

Just... feel... react... allow your body to release. Whether that's screaming or whining or crying or wiggling, do it

I promise you that sitting and toughing out the pain in silence is only going to detract from the experience... and that (usually) goes for both you and your partner. Sadists often like to see your reactions... that's part of the fun... so (assuming your Dom(me) allows it) feel free to react.

I've had breakdowns in the middle of scenes before because I was holding my reactions in, and as soon as my Dom increased the intensity, alllll of that pain bubbled out of me all at once... It wasn't fun... don't do that to yourself

Masochists love pain! But remember that pain tolerance and masochism are not the same thing! Its okay if you enjoy pain scenes, but still struggle to process all that intense sensation

If you love pain like I do, feel free to share your tips and experiences! I love you, my masochistic friends 💕

[the-sapphic-sanctuary]

After the great Catgirl vs. Doggirl war of 2017.

[fkbcorrector]

Addressing transmisoginy inside the detrans kink

It's a common thing in my blog to get questioned why I don't engage in this kink with trans feminine people, and I felt it was about time we talked about it.

As previously mentioned here, this kink, such as many others, comes from personal traumatic experience, growing up as a trans masc person in a cis male dominated world my brain turned my experiences in something pleasurable in order to cope with it and gain control by becoming my opressor.

As a dom in detrans, as a transmasc, my experience with cisnormativty and transphobia is very different from a trans feminine person's.

Hatecrime rates inside the trans community are higher in trans feminine people than in trans masc people, because transphobia is rooted in gender norms and binaries, and while "a girl seen as a tomboy" is acceptable in a transphobic discourse, "a man who dresses like a woman" is seen as dangerous and predetory.

While I am trans, and have many experiences in common with trans feminine people, my trauma is rooted in the erasure of my identity, not on the vinalization of it, which is what trans feminine people experience.

I am not comfortable engaging in this kink as it's not my place, it's not my experience, and while I have previously expressed how I don't trust a cis person who randomly (outside of a relationship with a trans person) has a detrans kink, the same applies in here, it goes the same way. It's one of my limits, it doesn't turn me on whatsoever, in fact, I have quite the opposite kink, worshipping trans women (while subbing which I don't do in this blog, as it's dedicated to detrans mostly).

It is up to trans feminine people to engage in this kink with whoever they want to and feel safe with, and while I highly appreciate your trust in me to want me to engage in this kink with you, I am not into it, and maybe that's exactly why I feel safe to you.

I hope every trans feminine person in this community has a good time, and as I've said before, you're absolutely welcomed to follow and reblog/favorite my posts, I just personally won't be engaging directly through dms, asks and posts about detrans with trans feminine people.

[living-viscera]

Might be silly to mention, but people might actually act out their more extreme.... desires. So, might I make a suggestion to those that venture into the more extreme acts which are consented on?

One, avoid any supplements and OTC meds like potassium and Asprin before play. Especially if play include sharp objects.

Two, trauma kit (first aid kits can only do so much) should be made and should be open and easily accessible (especially if you know your partner has anemia, on prescribed blood thinners, or has any other health issues that might affect a play session). A good kit is one that is custom made. I have blood clotting powder and clotting bandages since I am prone to injury in the garden.

Three, learn some anatomy. Knowing where to apply your choosen tools will go a long way and can avoid complications. Pressure points are more fun to play with if pain is the game.

Four, get a blood pressure machine and a smart watch that can monitor the heart. Check how everyone is doing. If it is too high (like 170 - 180/ 100) after a few readings it is a legit emergency (monitor for tingly feelings in arms and legs). It is very easy to miss the signs of trouble and strokes can happen if the BP is too high. Speaking from experience here.

That's all I have. I just want everyone to be safe and not have to deal with what I went through .

omg thank u anon this is very interesting

[cuntftmtf]

Not Kink!

Hi so i just wanted to say, it's totally okay if you don't post it or don't respond in anyway. I guess I'm just in my thoughts or feels rn. But I just wanted to ask if someone else experiences this.

So I come on Tumblr and look at all sorts of shit and try and get off, you know? As most of us on this side of Tumblr do. I'm into a lot of different kinks, ya know misgendering, noncon, orientation play, etc. The roster, ya know? And usually it's great and fun and whatever, but I've noticed that sometimes, after I get myself off, my mood suddenly changes. The best way I could describe it is somewhere between post-nut clarity and sub drop, but closer to sub drop. Like I get off and suddenly I feel almost empty and not like myself and sometimes feeling depressed and self loathing. And I'm sure I'm not crazy, and I'm not the only one who experiences this, but I never see it talked about anywhere so I guess I just wanted to see if that was something other people experienced. And if you or anybody had any tips on how to handle it ig, idk it's rough in here sometimes.

Again, it's totally okay and understandable if you don't post this or respond. It's not your responsibility to comfort a complete stranger on the Internet. I just figured it couldn't hurt to ask

hey, first off i hope its okay that i'm posting this publicly, i think you said something really important and i think other people would benefit from seeing this too!

to start off, those feelings are totally normal and i've been there plenty of times. especially after taking this kink out of fantasy i would sometimes get uncomfortable, regretful, moody, etc.. you're engaging in dark and personal kinks that sometimes come from a conflicting place. it can be hard to reconcile getting off to things that are also uncomfortable and even triggering sometimes, and when you're suddenly no longer horny that can hit pretty hard.

i guess what's important to figure out for yourself is what's making you feel like that. are you ashamed? did you trigger yourself? is confronting you with your identity in a way you find uncomfortable? sometimes that post nut depression is just a physical reaction too, plenty of people feel inexplicably down after they cum. it's not strange and you don't have to worry about it. but i do find it important to determine the reason for it, because you could be hurting yourself by getting off to these kinks if it's coming from a not so healthy place. remember that kink should be a rewarding exploration and not an actual punishment for yourself.

as for getting past the drop, look up aftercare guides for psychological bdsm scenes. my main ones are:

have something to drink and put some sugars in your body so you get some energy back

provide yourself any kind of self care you like. that could include wrapping up in a nice blanket, asking a friend about their day, maybe taking a nice bath or shower, but can also mean folding some laundry or any other mindless little task you would feel better about if it was finished!

remind yourself that your kinks are not indicative of your value or morality, dark kinks don't make you a bad (queer) person, they're just a way to get your rocks off

put on a show or a podcast to take your mind off things if you find your thoughts are running wild

i hope you feel a little less alone in this experience! lastly, if you're playing with a partner who's into this type of thing, let them know when you need some extra care after a scene. don't just let them drop you if you need to come down gently.

[frogmansfrog2]

Hey y'all, I wanted to do something a bit different with my blog for a bit. I think that most stuff in the misgendering community is in kink which totally makes sense but I want to start posting some stuff about more safety and out of kink stuff. I know that personally I have struggled a lot with this kink and I want to help anyone who's having those same struggles.

I also want to let anyone know that if they need any sort of aftercare after misgendering or kink in general, my dms are always available.

[just-somedude]

Something everyone new to the community, even those who've been in it for years, should know: ignoring your s/o is not a form of punishment, it's abuse. Neglect is not a punishment, it is abuse.