#and maybe tim

[ryemiffie]

Joke I made with my brother about the characters from a book I got to read early(literally so good lol) as batfam incorrect quotes:

Stephanie: Dad, dad, dad, dad!

Batman: What?

Stephanie: Okay, you give me, absolute access to the weapons vault, in return, I give you, peace and quiet for two whole hours.

Batman: Ugh fine, deal.

Stephanie, actively running away: Great, no take-backsies! I'll be back in exactly two hours, per our agreement, to bother you about something else!

Batman, now alone: damn, should of haggled.

[sparkoflena]

Kon: Why are you staring at me so intently?

Tim, completely casually: I think I want to stab you with Kryptonite a few times. In different areas. For science.

Kon: ...why is my best friend considering torturing me?

Tim: I'm wondering if it takes you down so badly because it is truly that dangerous to you or if the invulnerablility of Kryptonians gives you a weak pain tolerance.

Kon: And you're asking me, a half human, instead of Clark or Kara?

Tim: They'd start telling Bruce about my "concerning villainous behavior" again.

Kon: And I won't?

Tim: I've kept fighting through pneumonia, a gunshot wound, and broken bones. And you go down when I poke you with a rock. Come on, you've got to be curious.

Kon: ...okay, I am a little curious.

Tim: YES! You won't regret this!

Kon: I will absolutely regret this.

[bloomeng]

core 4 magical girl set finally reunited

[prlssprfctn]

I know the fandom mostly agrees that Jason is that one always unemployed sibling in the family, but let me offer you a slightly enhanced concept - unemployed sibling Jason, who is the busiest sibling in the family.

No one can get hold of him. Like, ever. And it is not like he is lying, he is genuinely always has something else to do! Something random and unexpected, and, honestly, all his family can think is: what the hell?

Bruce, frowning: Remind me again, why the dinner in the circle of the family today doesn't suit your... schedule?

Jason, shrugging: I have a book club evening in the nursing home. We are discussing Margaret Atwood's Penelopiad tonight. Can't miss it. Also, Jennet-

Alfred, confused: Who is Jennet?

Jason: One of the old ladies in the nursing home, duh... Anyway, yeah, Jennet is having a birthday. She would be hella mad if her favourite grandson missed it, you know?

Bruce: ...Jason, you are not her-

Jason: (leaves)

Dick: Hey, wanna join me for tomorrow morning's training?

Jason, sighs: Sounds nice, but I have classes tomorrow.

Dick, confused: Classes? Since when you are enrolled in college?

Jason: Oh, no. I am a substitute teacher in one of the school's around.

Dick: WHAT-

Damian, calling Jason in the middle of the day: Can you pick me up from school? Others are busy, there is an emergency in the town.

Jason: Damn, sorry, kid, but I am not in the country right now. By the way, do you want to talk with your mother?

Damian: ...What that supposed to mean? Where are you?

Jason: I was planning to visit All-Caste, but first decided to meet up with Talia. I am kinda in Egypt right now, anyway.

Damian: ...

Tim, already used to Jason's constant busy status, sighing: I bet you won't agree if I call you on the lunch tomorrow?

Jason: Uh, no. I have plans. But if you tag along with me, we can get lunch together later.

Tim, surprised: ...Okay. What do you have tomorrow? Knitting club? A shift in library?

Jason: Nah, graduation ceremony.

Tim: Right, you are a substitute teacher.

Jason: No, no. My graduation ceremony. I am getting my PHD in literature.

Tim: SINCE FUCKING WHEN-

[lilpegchamp]

[redsray]

i love the trope of Bruce's kids being yoinked by different parent figures in their lives, and the kids knowing full well and using it to their advantage when they've got any problems with him.

Tim, pissed at Bruce: That's it, I'm staying with Shiva for the week. Cass is now my official sister 2/3 of the way.

Cass, grinning: Baby brother.

Jason, annoyed with Bruce (more than usual): 'Kay I'm gonna go bunker up with Talia for a bit before I put a bullet through you. Cya.

Damian: Say hi to her for me.

Jason, with finger guns on the way out: Will do.

Dick, needing a break from Bruce (again): If anyone needs me I'll be in Kansas.

Tim, nodding: Understandable.

Steph: Kansas?

Dick: I need Uncle Clark therapy.

Duke: Alright I'm gonna go crash at Jeff's for a bit.

Cass: B?

Duke: ... A bit overbearing. I'll tell Anissa you said hi.

Cass, grinning: Good. Bring back Grace's cookies.

Duke, laughing: Got it.

[factual-flittermouse]

Bruce: Dick, what’s this I’m hearing about you trying to send Tim to Arkham?

Dick: For the last time, I NEVER said that!

Tim: As good as!

Bruce: *disappointed dad voice* Really chum, I can’t believe you would tell your brother such a thing.

Dick: I didn’t! I just suggested therapy!

Tim: *scoffs* Yeah, in METROPOLIS.

Bruce: *Gasps*

Jason: *Gasps*

Damian: *Betrayed*

Alfred: *Too proper to gasp so loudly, but almost fumbles his antique feather duster*

Dick: Oh come on, it’s not that bad! It’s close, it’s relatively safe, and their PHDs are less likely to go rogue.

Jason: *Cover’s Damian’s ears as he backs them both out of the room, still loudly gasping in offense like the theater kid he is at heart*

Bruce: I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.

[pru-dle]

Gonna do the other robins but also Tim stumped me so bad now his portrait is extremely more detailed than I wanted it to be AHAHQHSHQC

[oh23]

At a stereotypical hero introduction (imagine them like power rangers or anime girls stance idfk)

damian: Im robin

tim: i’m red robin

dick: im the original robin

jason: i. Im dead robin? everyone else just staring at him distraught falling to their knees saying Nooo jason u need to stop doing thattt

[abisalli]

A long overdue ko-fi for the dear @darlinglissa !! Thank you for being so very patient with me <3 You get: Tim being an annoying little brother to Dick (because I've been reading a lot of 90s/early 2000s comics lately)

[ditzybat]

just imagining a teeny tiny tim being absolutely devastated about jason’s death, that he manages to get on to dark forums to contact a mercenary for a hit on the joker’s life.

and who happens to be that mercenary? deathstroke.

tim wires money from his (admittedly very high) allowance to slade, who finishes the job within the week — news outlets are going crazy as nobody knows who pulled off such a stunt — bruce is confused, and dick is both grateful, that someone took the bastard who killed his baby brothers life, and angry, because bruce wasn’t the one to do it.

slade however? wants to investigate, someone finally had the gall to order a hit on the joker and he’s a little curious to see who it is.

only come to find a little boy all alone in a big house who spends his nights following around a vigilante in a furry suit.

and, well, slade hasn’t been the best parent, and probably doesn’t know how to deal with an average kid, but who can blame him when he begins to train tim into becoming a mercenary just like him — after all, how else is he gonna defend himself on the streets of gotham when he gallivants around with an expensive camera, a sign basically saying ‘kidnap me!’ strapped to his chest?

so what if the kid becomes robin and uses those skills in the cape? that’s batman’s problem to figure out.

[luca-is-a-pengu]

A canon event in ever teenager's life is someone older showing them that Axe bodyspray and a lighter make a pretty decent flame thrower.

Ik Tim is a genius and prolly knows that already, but that's not the point.

I gave Jason a clipper as a lighter cause they are superior.

Who do you think is sitting on the bednand taking the picture?

[spacespacespace]

The different robins reacting to Batman saying ‘it’s his city’:

Batman: This is my city.

Dick, who’s new to Gotham and just became Robin: oh alr then

(He fully believed Batman was telling the literal truth and thought he just owned the city for an embarrassingly long time)

-

Batman: You can’t do that, it’s my city.

Jason, who Batman just caught nicking his tires: No it’s fucking not.

Batman, a bit taken aback to why this little child was arguing back about this:… yes it is

Jason: yEs iT iS- do u have any certification proving that??? Hmm????

Batman:…..

-

Batman: It’s my city.

Steph: Ok so do I like get a share too then? 25%? 40%?? Actually we’re more like partners so maybe 50/50-

Batman: 😑😑

-

Batman: You do as I say. This is my city.

Tim: So you’re *some rich Gotham person*???

Batman: … who?

Tim: the technical owner of Gotham.

Batman: how do you know that??

-

Batman: this is my city

Damian: I-

Batman: *sigh* yes I know it’s in a metaphorical sense, I know I’m not the actual owner of Gotham

Damian: what are you talking about- of course it’s your city.

Batman, internally: *someone finally gets it at last-*

Damian: For you are superior to all and shall defeat any dare to say otherwise.

Batman: Damian no-

I always thought the ‘it’s my city’ line was a bit silly. Like no it’s not, you literally have no paperwork verified authority?? So I js imagined the robins would eventually humble him

[occudo]

Make a confession, face your crush- Love Archives the new visual novel going to Steam- well, never, but I thought it would be funny.

[erinwantstowrite]

while im here im going to try and convince you guys to write more "Tim Drake joining the Batfam late" aus because it's underrepresented

like, i love the fics where he joins early. that's cute! but a fic where he joins late for whatever reason??? i eat it up like a cat starved for attention. i want Tim Drake being the "perfect" heir to Drake Industries and being known as the polite, well adjusted young man that everyone knows. and then turn around and find out that Tim has not only been stalking the Bats under their radar since he was, what, 9 years old? but on top of that, he's started solving cases that they can't get to. Tim who stalked so hard he learned where they learned their martial arts and went "backpacking across europe" only to have actually been learning from Shiva. Tim who has become an urban legend to the Batfam because they can't tell if this vigilante exists or not, since they never catch him, they don't have footage on him, etc. Or if they DO know him, they don't even think to put Tim Drake in the suspect pool because Tim Drake whined for an hour when he broke a nail at a charity event once. the kid is smart, sure, but he's not going out at night fighting crime and solving cases that Batman didn't know about yet.

even better if Tim named his vigilante persona an adjacent name to the Robin mantle. him knowing he can't BE Robin (perhaps Jason hadn't died in this au) but he could be a hero that helps them from the shadows

and obviously he makes a mistake of some kind... maybe he saves someone at an event as Tim Drake and Bruce sees how little hesitation he had. or maybe he gets injured and can't get up himself, and that's when a Bat or a Robin or someone finds this vigilante they almost thought was a myth: bloody, broken, and needing help. pick him up and take him home and then there are endless possibilities to what happens next but the ending BETTER be Tim finding his home with his people

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Soup solves everything.