#and its ruined things in so many ways
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
.
#close to crying and idk i just wish i felt less alone#i wish i felt loveable#its strange...ive had so many people express interest in me#but it hasnt helped at all#because theyre not really seeing me anyway#and its ruined things in so many ways#and i just want someone to love me and for it to feel right and not...i dont know- objectifying?#like i know they dont mean it that way but#i feel like an object of desire#not a person#idk i just want forehead kisses and for someone to tell me its okay#i want cuddles and to be called sweetheart#i want things to be easier#and yeah these problems are fucking tiny compared to so much thats happening#so im sorry for that#if anyone reads this i mean#totally fair if you dont hah
6 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
[ cw: death mention / strangulation mention / stabbing mention / blood mention / self-sacrifice / codependency mention in tags / ]
I think a lot about how common it is for Raph to be the one to have direct focus put on him when Leo gets into all his near death experiences.
Like, when Leo is thrown off a building, itās Raph whoās right there jumping after him, not even thinking about the consequences to himself when he does. When Leo almost gets skewered by the Krang, Raphās right there to take the blow and send Leo to safety without a second thought. When Leoās being strangled to near death, itās a Krangified Raph doing the job, doing exactly what Raph would never, ever want to do. When Leo is telling Casey Jr to close the portal, itās Raph who tries desperately to convince Leo otherwise.
Likewise, Leo is consistently very single minded when Raph gets forcibly separated from them. Both when in the sewers and by the Krang, Leo is dead set on finding Raph first and foremost.
I also think itās interesting that during each of Leoās near death experiences, the lightheartedness of his words during them goes directly hand in hand with both how close Raph is to him physically and how much danger Raph is also in in that moment. From a literal āI told you soā as Leoās falling away from Raph to a soft joke about how āhero movesā are Raphās style - both of these are on the more morbidly carefree side and both of these notably take Leo farther away from Raph and, in turn, have Raph not in immediate danger.
On the other side of things is the apology from Leo, heedless of the danger he himself is in as he seriously and genuinely speaks to a Krangified Raph face to face. Then thereās Leoās freezing and desperation as Raph takes a hit meant for him and sends just Leo to safety, leaving Raph himself behind. Both of these involve much closer proximity and Raph being directly harmed - these together make Leo much more vulnerable in his words and actions, something not even the threat of death can make him.
These two care about each other so much, and theyāre way too much alike for their own good.
#rottmnt#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt raph#rise raph#rottmnt leo#rise leo#honorable mention to the time Leo desperately tried throwing himself into harmās way to get to Karai#and Raph is the one who has to pull him back#I also think that itās interesting how both of them go about self sacrifice#because wow they both have problems with it#Raphās tends to be immediate reactions not even thinking as he throws himself over his bros#Leoās are often shown to be āfor the greater goodā (said greater good often being his family)#once again I am saying that post movie these two would likely have codependency issues#considering Raphās already present acute seperation anxiety and Leoās immediate memory of Raph standing over him bleeding#another thing to mention is how Future Leoās actual death still falls into the whole āmorbidly lighthearted wordsā category#I also wanna point out that in Many Unhappy Returns the trust that Leo wants so much does NOT come from Splinter but from RAPH#side note but in regard to the fighting that Raph and Leo were up to during the time between the shredder and the krang#I think itās interesting that itās NOT depicted as screaming matches - very blatantly not this actually#also also! I totally love how the movie parallels Oroku Saki and Karai with Raph and Leo respectively#there are so many parallels in general in this show+movie it makes me froth at the mouth#and because it breaks my heart - the beginning of the movie had Raph getting angry at Leo and lashing out at him#the end of the movie has the Krang very very angry at Leo and lashing out at him#both of these times has Leo āruiningā a mission soā¦bad parallels#in the movie as well thereās a Krangified Raph who beats Leo senseless#so I have to wonder if Raph and Leo justā¦canāt roughhouse anymore#else Leo would flinch or Raph would be so scared to accidentally hurt Leo like he was already used to do before#then suddenly their usual dynamic of Raph never having to be softer with Leo is thrown on its head#worse is if theyāre so terrified of this dynamic leaving that they power through their own sufferings to maintain it
309 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
When people are like Wei Wuxian was NOT suicidal itās like. Ok sure. He just believed that his debt to the Jiangs should be paid with everything up to and including his life. And also that the moral and obvious thing to do in any situation is to put himself between anyone and harm's way. This is because he thinks heās unkillable but he makes himself unkillable for the same reason heāll die for a good enough reason: because itās a way to have worth!
And then famously once everything goes to shit he does beg Lan Wangji to let him die as part of the moment where he is either destroyed by his own evil magic or lets his own evil magic tear him apart, a distinction I don't personally think matters very much at that point. Less explicitly textually, his mentally ill ass behavior after he gives up his core says to me that he wishes that he'd died honorably for Jiang Cheng when he had the chance and doesn't know what to do with himself since he hasn't.
Again Iām aware that heās operating under a pretty specific set of culturally informed norms as a cultivator and member of a sect but like. TO ME. Everything about how Wei Wuxian conducts himself indicates that he has a box in his mind at all times that says 'in case of emergency break glass' and whatās inside the box is his own death. All the sound of mind actions of a man who has a normal and not suicidal relationship to death.
#suicide cw#I know I donāt need to engage with self identified wwx fans#who want him to be a perfect angel who only made good choices for pure reasons#but like#to ME dying for the jiangs is the only thing he might be able to do to please madame yu#and I think they both were very aware of that lol#in many ways Wei Wuxian was very comfortable with the idea that heād be better use to people dead#this is like the CRUX of suicidality lol#itās still suicidality even if it doesnāt look like#him being like wow I hate myself I want to die lol#which I do think as much as I donāt agree with giving him self esteem issues uwu style#he definitely gets there after he realizes that heās ruined his life all to save the wens and it hasnāt saved them#the like who can tell what I should do soliloquy#anyway saw a post and was just thinking about it#also bc I made an offhand comment about him being suicidal#but i actually do genuinely think its an interesting facet of his character#specifically because i think his relationship to his own death is complex is based in his life also being not entirely his own#this is whats so juicy about a lot of the pre timeskip stuff!!!#like arguably this is true of cultivation society bc itās a martial world#sure!#but imho heās taking a step further#bc he does have inherent worth issues#namely that he doesnāt think he has inherent worth#which is why everything he does is designed to make up for that
99 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Velma (2023) is to Scooby Doo what Teen Titans Go! is to Teen Titans (2003)
#when your show is worse than teen titans go you know you really messed up#and even then the worst thing teen titans go did was just make the script bad and too many fart jokes#velma hates its characters; made them two dimensional; got rid of the main character#but you know what good bc they woulda ruined scooby#they made daphne vapid and dumb; fredās a misogynistic bully; shaggy isnāt even shaggy; and velmaās judgmental and mean#at least teen titans go likes its source material#i genuinely enjoyed the crossover movie between go! and the 2005 OGās#also apparently it isnt Teen Titans 2005 itās Teen Titans 2003; soā¦ sorry about that#i think i put the 5 bc it has 5 seasons? who knows but yaāll know what im talking about either way#velma 2023#velma show#hbo velma#scooby doo#velma dinkley#teen titans#teen titains go
793 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
i donāt talk about bridgerton on here but just to clarify. i will not be having ANY eloise hate on this account. i will bite.
#eloise bridgerton they could never make me hate you!!#addressing the normal talking points one by one to get them sorted:#- āno i donāt care that eloise called pen some names after the discovery. she was devastated and furious.#she can apologise in the future but in the moment of course she said it#- āyes pen did write about eloise as a way to save her but that doesnāt mean it hasnāt possibly ruined eloiseās life#- similarly: eloise isnāt (just) angry that she was written about. daphne also went through whistledown and it very much terrified her#so have many other women including marina#- eloise is betrayed because she told pen everything and is realising pen told her nothing#(and sheās probably thinking about any secrets she might have said to her best friend that could now be used against the ton and her family)#- as claudio said: being regency gossip girl isnt a moral girlboss thing its deeply harmful tbh#- āpen did have reasons to become whistledown! that doesnāt mean that sheās innocent or right!#- eloise isnt now friends with cressida to spite pen lmao sheās alone and scared and cressida was the last person who offered her friendship#she has no idea how to manage society by herself#(and she needs someone to improve the reputation of her and her family)#- im also convinced she has other ulterior motives for befriending cressida. like sheās keeping an eye on her or smth#- eloise didnāt just ignore anything pen said and thatās why she only just figured it out. pen deliberately didnāt speak like lw to hide it#the moment she did eloise was like huh thatās weird she doesnāt normally talk like that. and THATS when she figured it out#- eloise just found out her best friend has betrayed her and been hiding this massive secret#but she hasnāt told anyone. not even her own family. im not hearing out any accusations of HER of being disloyal#- also pen clearly wasnāt that upset at writing about eloise bc the moment eloise and colin upset her she went straight back to it lmao#side note but no i donāt think the queen is going to name her the āemeraldā or anything because sheās suddenly in the spotlight#eloise is tbh the only debutante she actually consistently recognised (for good or bad)#a new dress is not going to be interesting for charlotte to change her whole tradition#tl;dr i love eloise and i will die on this hill#eloise bridgerton#bridgerton
31 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
thinking abt the ggy easter eggs rn
#im so ready for whateber theyre cooking#this is like the only era rn where the sw games arent interesting me rn im so ready to want to engage again#plz focus on ggy vanny gregory vanessa cassie and not cassie dad mapbot dying absent father doing nothintnfor the story#and a game based totally off of books instead of the other way around#i really hope SW games dont become super tftp oriented#as in they make games based off of books instead of the other way around#that would suck majorly#a ggy game would be new content based off of game lore that does exist for ggy and not the book#like patient 46 and his canonical mysterious past#plus everything the tapes said he did#it could be so good#i really want to just see like. any progression of the story#outside of very basic ideas like 'vanny cassie' that are probably going to happen but are so bare bones#theres not much you can think about#insyead of useless plots like cassies dad. sorry but its true if hes the hw2 story he does nothing#nothing that cassie couldnt have also done if shes the protag#i know that sotm has to happen before they can progress so im being patient#but man#i hope we get more stuff like ruin that has good linear on screen storytelling and is more character oriented#everybody liked ruin but not everyone likes sotm#when hw2 came out i saw soo many opinions not just by me and the moots or something but just#fans on twitter diehard or casual#that hated how hw2s story was handled#people actually want storytelling now at sb and ruins scale instead of old school barely comprehensible frustrating lore#thats what sotm feels like its leaning into and im not excited#i hope its a one time thing since its a good chance to do that#a game that already takes place in the og fnaf days#before it even#of course its a good idea to put old school easter eggs and characters and story and stuff of the og days#i just miss my guys :(
18 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
the downside to being a sitcom neighbour sort of person is that when rough things happen and emotionally fuck u up a lil bit, it also sounds completely made up
#bert's dead dad tag#found out today the way my dad told mom he wanted a divorce?#he wrote her a letter and left it on the dining room table for her to find on the morning of her fortieth birthday#who the fuck does that dead father#like that is the sort of thing i would entirely make up if i needed everyone at the table to fuckin hate an npc#and at least one person would go 'you're laying it on a little bit heavy'#i know he did work to become a better person as he got older#which is good because BOY howdy was that man a piece of shit in the early 90s#and we are having Complicated feelings about it tonight and also for the last nine months#something something when i was writing his eulogy i came across an old article discussing something he did in the 90s#YDIP (your dad is problematic)#like yeah this is the sort of thing that would have been vaguely acceptable in the cultural context#but like. still objectively bad. potentially ruining several lives sort of bad.#learned this and then wrote the rest of his eulogy about how he was a great guy and how i'm lucky to have been his son#(which was rough enough on its own because i've never said 'i'm [dad's name]'s son' as many times as i did that trip home)#but like what else do you do? i sent off a message looking for more information#and that information if it comes is just gonna sit with me i guess#sure as hell not telling my sister and this whole thing i've been getting through without really having anyone here for me to talk to#(hence the big fuckoff tag rant. your problem now losers who like clicking the read more button)#so even if i get all the answers i want about this one thing it's not gonna do any good except putting an end to one question#but part of having a dead dad who's been out of the business of forming new memories since you came out is having more questions#answering this one's just gonna add even more questions to the pile#but. got fuckall else to do
13 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
botw got me into watching every zelda theory on the planet and totk got me out of it :I
i will focus on my comic and the rewrite project, rant here an there or answer some questions but im pretty sure im not gonna watch/read anything zelda theory related for a good while
#ganondoodles talks#totk just makes me feel hollow#but it will keep coming up in everything zelda related now and in the future#like maybe theres some people critical of it#i doubt its the popular guys tho#and its probably not gonna be about the story anyway since even in old theories they were always pretty -save-#but it was kinda fun seeing all the ways to connect things and think about what it could mean#totk ruined that for me tbh#wheres the mystery#it let me down so many times i just cant stay interested in anything#and i dont got the will to clikc on a video and realize halfway through i wasted my time#hope you dont mind me staying in my lil bubble and doing my thing xD
64 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
There's a lot of reddit refugees/AI bot accounts here and on other websites that are spreading AITA posts around, but not sharing the required-reading post that's necessary if you want to engage with that content without becoming a goblin
#reddit#am i the asshole#AITA#AITAH#196#there's sorta 3 main things you NEED to be thinking about with every one of those posts you se#1 everyone is trying to paint themselves in the best possible light#everything from the information they choose to present to the way they phrase their sentences is written to make you think OP is correct#2 every story you see there no matter how thorough is ultimately incomplete#intentionally or not its just impossible to get the full scop of a situation in the bounds of a reddit post#and most importantly of all 3#the audience does not care about finding the best possible solution or the fairest possible judgment#they care about getting the best story#so many of those posts jump to divorce or no contact or stupid reddit revenge schemes because people want catharsis#they want a win they can get vicariously through others#they don't care if their solution inadvertantly ruins your life or burns a bridge that could have easily been mended
13 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
I'm going to redo all our throw cushions with velvet yarn and I'm trying to decide if I should stick with crochet or use it as an opportunity to learn to knit...
Quastions for fibre artists:
Is chenille/velvet yarn a good or bad choice to learn knitting on if I already know crochet?
And out of the two, which do you prefer to do high use homewares with?
#its gotta be in chenille or another single solid strand yarn#because diva grooms things nonstop now that shes going senile and she pulls all the fibres on regular yarn up into fluff#many jumpers and blankets have been felted and ruined this way recently#shes very happy doing it so we dont want to stop her#just stop her from getting to stuff she can ruin this way#fibre arts#yarn crafts#fibre crafts#knitblr#crochet#knitting#crochetblr
14 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Sylvie: she will ruin all her companion's lives
#bg3#...yes.. she IS one of my dnd characters... idc !!!!!!#i love her sm!!!#she is a drow fighter btw hehe!!#i installed many mods to get her to look the way i know she looks#i am sooo happy w how she turned out !!<333#she is so beautiful and cool HEHEHE#SHE will ruin THEM i say as i am giggling and kicking my feet at anything... ANY of them say to me#esp Karlach and Wyll.. they.. i..#game progress#playing for the first time by myself...#its so over for me i CANNOT stop#this is the only thing i am thinking abt lately#...sorry in advance#her main weapon is a flail... so i found her a flail ASAP!! just need a cooler shield now hehehehheh#baulders gate 3#her full name is Sylvie Silverblade if you care... she's an ex knight#SORRY IM DONE IDK I JUST LOVE HER A LOT !!!!
2 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
š«
#suddenly getting a c feels so terrible#like failing an exam once used to#i used to be happy about such grades once now it just feels like failure#i guess i can never go back to that#wow way to ruin my day#and i'm aware its dramatic and there are worse things and many would be happy to pass#old me wouldn't relate#but on the other hand i want to strive for the best grades#i just truly wish that i can go this whole semester without getting a c š„ŗ for once ok maybe one is acceptable but not 2 or 3 c's#i only want b's and a lot of a's š„ŗ#also this made me realize this is absolutely not! the field of study i want to write my bachelor thesis in#i always write the worst papers in this area of my studies š#the 3rd c i got on a paper in this area well at least for one i got a b overall because of my otherwise good contributions#but it's just not my thing idk what it is my papers might just lack depth i still need to look at the feedback tho even though i don't wann#anyways i have to study for an exam tomorrow i need it to go well i don't want to be disapointed#at least it only counts 40% and we have another exam to do better on in case it doesn't go as planned#but i really hope for an a or at least a b to not put me in a bad position for the 2nd exam š¤š¤#at the end of the day i should remind myself that i'm lucky to be in a position where that i get to worry about such tiny things#instead of real problems
2 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
I want to cryyyyy I wish I were ānormalā
#personal#suffering from anxiety adhd / depression and possibly autism makes life so incredibly difficult#itās so hard to do laundry to cook dinner to take care of yourself#to do anything takes so much energy and effort whereas for regular people without these issues itās easy as fuck#meanwhile my brain thinks about death multiple times a day and Iām always looking for reasons to stay#like I work I workout and make sure I eat something but goddamn life is so much work itās so hard to do things#half the time Iām struggling to motive myself to do the simplistic tasks#and itās because of my brain itās because of how Iām wired and also the many years of trauma Iāve experienced#and the fact it effects me so much and any and all friendships / relationships / family I have with anyone itās so insane#Iām working on healing but goddamn itās a process in itself among doing everyday things#I WISH I WERE NORMAL I WISH I WASNT THIS WAY#my brain ruins things my brain makes it so hard to do anything Iām considered a bad friend if I take a majority of the time for myself#and decide to be alone with it Iām a bad person I make mistakes and say the wrong things and hurt people#I donāt want to hurt people I hurt myself and UGH ITS A DOMINO EFFECT everything effects everything#ANYONE ELSE FEEL THIS WAY?!#no? just me ā¦.#thereās so much more I can say and should say but Iāve already said enough
3 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
I get why people like the whole queer existence is resistance thing. I don't personally, because I think it puts a tonne of intracommunity pressure to exist in the 'right' way, I.e. the way that is 'radical' to the person currently scrutinising you. As a person with OCD that manifests in self scrutiny that I have to constantly concentrate on to avoid it becoming self hatred, I'm never going to be a fan of that. I kind of feel this way about any kind of assimilation conversation with regards to queerness really. I think it's an important conversation within irl communities who already care for each other- who shows up for others outside of their own interests and who doesn't, etc. But the internet makes things so impersonal and cold. It encourages people to make very serious snap judgements about others who they don't even know, and to encourage others to believe that about them. None of these people are in community together in any meaningful sense, or they wouldn't treat each other so ungenerously.
Anyway I had a bit of a realisation earlier- I think we have to tell ourselves our existence is inherently radical all the time because we're always getting the subtle message from our community and the wider activism community that having a good time or enjoying yourself is somehow bad, or insulting to people in dire straits. But instead of challenging that idea we say no it's OK because I'm doing activism simply by being here. I think it's fine to feel that way and in many ways existing as a marginalised person really is radical. I just want to make sure we aren't internalising the idea that we can't ever be happy or having a fun frivolous time without justifying it, and passing that idea along to others without meaning to.
#as radio 1 used to say: you only get one life- love it#i try and tell myself that when i get bogged down in the 'my misery is activism somehow' thinking#that so many people on here reinforce#i feel the 'pride is a protest' conversation constantly turns into this#because while pride's origin is in protest on the anniversary of the stonewall riot#most prides now are parties with a march and some information stalls#and...that's fine! If people have fun at it!#not everyone finds pride fun obvs its usually boiling very overwhelming and loud#ive had some shit times at pride but had a blast at my last one#it was post coming out as trans and I'd just started drinking more regularly#after abstaining for my meds for so long#i went alone had some drinks and a dance and went home#loved it best day ever#anyway the idea that in order to do activism you have to constantly disrupt#bring your 'queer liberation not rainbow capitalism' sign#i dunno...i dont think anyone really likes rainbow capitalism but the sponsers keep entry free#thats the case at my main one anyway#i struggle because i only just started having fun a bit more and enjoying things#i hate being hit with the message of 'actually this fun time is wrong '#even in the most subtle ways- but maybe im oversensitive#i will say that if misery is activism ive more than paid my dues#why do they think people wanted to get into stonewall inn anyway???#eta- i know not all prides are free and the ones that aren't still have corporate sponsors#i just don't feel it ruins pride personally#it's mildly annoying and that's all#eta: i put activism instead of capitalism in the slogan in the tags for some reason
4 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
its been so long since human content/new content with no book relevancy even the youtubers and theorists like dawko and john are getting restlessš
#dawko going its not gonna happen steel wool right over glamfred and rhe humans not coming back#and john going 'im... totally okay with that happening š' about mimics story being spoiled in the books 2 years before sotm#like dude even theyre feeling it#dawko would love a fnaf game about absolutely nothing so his excitment about sotm makes sense#but its refreshing seeing john actually criticize it bc it deserves to be even if it was really tame and not really explicitly said#we understand and its just. so nice seeing someone like john actually aware of how stupid it id#instead of everyone being okay with it and not criticizing it for some reason#even tho it kind of sucks#like john is one of the last surviving theorists and a big figure in the community#seeing him actually not shy away from at least implying he thinks its bad and dumb in a video is just.#soo refreshing#like so many times i felt like i was insane for disliking all the mimic theories before ruin came out#i thought it was boring. mimic is a book villain#its so sad seeing john try to actually theorize about mimic in an interesting way with a satisfuing narrative that isnt just c&p#but it just turns out that actually yeah. its game is a rerun of its book lore that came out years ago#and we spent three entire years foreshadowing and teasing 'carnival' in games to hype this game up and its just c&p book lore nothing new#except the new shit being like. stuff about OG freddys and og characters which. are not explaining the mimics backstory#its just like whyy did they do it like this. and they shafted basically every single thing else to do it for years#no wonder dawko is starting to actually joke about them never bringing them back and john is implying his distaste#pandas.txt#discourse#sorryyyyy#its just like i think about sotm and im like i dont need to be that hard on it. theres nothing inherently wrong with a game explaining#mimics backstory#and then i remember how it was spoiled 2 years earlier in the books and everybody already knows its story and theres nothing#new about the mimic in this game save for a random new form#and im like yeah nevermind its okay to be critical about it they somehow handled the mimics story in the worst way possible#up to this point#like if youre a fan of literally anything else in the story youll resent mimic at least a little bit for how much it hijacked everything#even all mimic fans are getting are reruns of shit they already know
11 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Man i watched the spongebob movie for the first time in ages the other day and god itās like the most delightful movie ever made like itās exactly what you want a movie adaptation of spongebob to be
#the klock keeps ticking#the way spongebob is written in it is like. damn he really was just so good at the time#very cute very funny and ocean man playing during the credits bit liiiiike#as a kid i never watched that part cuz i was a little shit who couldnt appreciate ocean man#but theres just like cute art of spongebob doing maintenance around the krusty krab 2 and hes just SO HAPPY#its the cutest thing in the entire world#and i was so close to just fucking sobbing at the scene where theyre in the gift shop frying under the lamp cuz they realize that this#is shell city and even though they wont survive and be able to get the crown back to bikini bottom#they were able to make it through all the dangers and get there THEY DID ALRIGHT FOR A COUPLE OF GOOFBALLS#but then my dad walked in and ruined the moment completely and i felt rage#oh and how can we forget the david hasselhoff scene literally the best scene ever written in cinema#how many people were turned gay by that scene i wonder#overall i felt so many emotions i am not okay i am so happy i am sobbing
5 notes
Ā·
View notes