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#(hence the big fuckoff tag rant. your problem now losers who like clicking the read more button)
thelovers-thedreamers-and-me
ยท
12 days
Text
the downside to being a sitcom neighbour sort of person is that when rough things happen and emotionally fuck u up a lil bit, it also sounds completely made up
#bert's dead dad tag
#found out today the way my dad told mom he wanted a divorce?
#he wrote her a letter and left it on the dining room table for her to find on the morning of her fortieth birthday
#who the fuck does that dead father
#like that is the sort of thing i would entirely make up if i needed everyone at the table to fuckin hate an npc
#and at least one person would go 'you're laying it on a little bit heavy'
#i know he did work to become a better person as he got older
#which is good because BOY howdy was that man a piece of shit in the early 90s
#and we are having Complicated feelings about it tonight and also for the last nine months
#something something when i was writing his eulogy i came across an old article discussing something he did in the 90s
#YDIP (your dad is problematic)
#like yeah this is the sort of thing that would have been vaguely acceptable in the cultural context
#but like. still objectively bad. potentially ruining several lives sort of bad.
#learned this and then wrote the rest of his eulogy about how he was a great guy and how i'm lucky to have been his son
#(which was rough enough on its own because i've never said 'i'm [dad's name]'s son' as many times as i did that trip home)
#but like what else do you do? i sent off a message looking for more information
#and that information if it comes is just gonna sit with me i guess
#sure as hell not telling my sister and this whole thing i've been getting through without really having anyone here for me to talk to
#(hence the big fuckoff tag rant. your problem now losers who like clicking the read more button)
#so even if i get all the answers i want about this one thing it's not gonna do any good except putting an end to one question
#but part of having a dead dad who's been out of the business of forming new memories since you came out is having more questions
#answering this one's just gonna add even more questions to the pile
#but. got fuckall else to do
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