#which is good because BOY howdy was that man a piece of shit in the early 90s
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the downside to being a sitcom neighbour sort of person is that when rough things happen and emotionally fuck u up a lil bit, it also sounds completely made up
#bert's dead dad tag#found out today the way my dad told mom he wanted a divorce?#he wrote her a letter and left it on the dining room table for her to find on the morning of her fortieth birthday#who the fuck does that dead father#like that is the sort of thing i would entirely make up if i needed everyone at the table to fuckin hate an npc#and at least one person would go 'you're laying it on a little bit heavy'#i know he did work to become a better person as he got older#which is good because BOY howdy was that man a piece of shit in the early 90s#and we are having Complicated feelings about it tonight and also for the last nine months#something something when i was writing his eulogy i came across an old article discussing something he did in the 90s#YDIP (your dad is problematic)#like yeah this is the sort of thing that would have been vaguely acceptable in the cultural context#but like. still objectively bad. potentially ruining several lives sort of bad.#learned this and then wrote the rest of his eulogy about how he was a great guy and how i'm lucky to have been his son#(which was rough enough on its own because i've never said 'i'm [dad's name]'s son' as many times as i did that trip home)#but like what else do you do? i sent off a message looking for more information#and that information if it comes is just gonna sit with me i guess#sure as hell not telling my sister and this whole thing i've been getting through without really having anyone here for me to talk to#(hence the big fuckoff tag rant. your problem now losers who like clicking the read more button)#so even if i get all the answers i want about this one thing it's not gonna do any good except putting an end to one question#but part of having a dead dad who's been out of the business of forming new memories since you came out is having more questions#answering this one's just gonna add even more questions to the pile#but. got fuckall else to do
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The Swerve/Hangman feud is absolutely hilarious and amazing to me.
Swerve is, canonically and admittedly, a morally reprehensible piece of shit who can and will do awful things to achieve his goals. He literally broke into the home of Adam Page and threatened violence upon his child. There are, within the context of kayfabe, basically no redeeming qualities about Swerve. He is A Bad Person.
He also canonically spent two weeks in a casket after All In: London.
"Hangman" Adam Page is beloved, the soul of AEW. He's relatable to many people via his insecurities and his (sometimes successful) attempts to prove himself. He's also relatable to many people because he's canonically awful at keeping touch with people he's considered friends-- basically ghosting Dark Order (who tried very hard to get him to join *and* eventually befriend him). People want to see Hangman win, and see him successful, because he's good at making you want to root for him.
Unless, of course, he's up against Shane "Swerve" Strickland. A man who, for quite some time, the audience does not *want* to boo. Is Swerve a terrible person? Yes. Absolutely.
However. Counter-point: Swerve is so fucking cool.
Like, Swerve has the same inexplicable, innate, coolness to me that Scott Hall did when I was a child.
Swerve is so cool, and such a good wrestler, that people are starting to cheer less for Hangman. Some people are outright booing him now.
Which leads us to where we are today. We have an increasingly unhinged Adam Page (the mustache is the source of the evil in his heart) who is out for blood (figuratively and literally) with Swerve. He hates Swerve. And we have Swerve who is, on some level, trying to take some high roads-- asking Nana not to interfere and so forth.
Swerve's entrance has gone from the dark Mogul Embassy aesthetics to bright colors and comic book-esque aesthetics.
Like, this is functionally a double-turn. Swerve is turning babyface, because how do you *not* turn someone face when they're this over with the fans. By default, Hangman has to turn heel to keep the feud going.
And boy howdy do I want them to keep this feud going. It is the purest blood feud I've seen in a long time.
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we decided to watch all story cutscenes from the new resident evil village videogame on a whim, since itâs not really our cup of tea gameplay-wise but seems to be this massive zeitgeist moment that made us morbidly curious. And I know how much everyone cares about my thoughts on things I know very little about, so. letâs get into it huh gamers. and yeah spoilers?
for context, Iâve only played resident evil 4 and a small portion of 5. I also read the wikipedia entry for 7âs plot recently. all this to say I was only vaguely aware of how tonally wacky the series was going in
I also completely gave up following the plot of the mutagensâ soap opera, so that paid off in spades here as you might imagine
anyway so that baby in the intro. that babyâs head is just massive. humongous toddlerdome. when ethan finds the babyâs head in a jar later on. there is no way that head would fit into that jar. bad game design. no not even game design. basic stuff. one hundred years in prison for jar modeler
if I see a single functional hetero marriage in video games I will cry tears of joy. I understand their misery is kind of The Point irt them badly working through the hillbilly romp trauma but like. sheesh. at least set that up as an emotional story goal the plot will help resolve. but nope they start off miserable and it goes nowhere
I know I know the mia thing has a huge wrinkle in it but like. not really in terms of dramatic function?? set up a happy end to the re7 nightmare (miranda can keep up appearances for all she cares) and then take that all away from angry griffin mcelroy for manpain. it will still absolutely work to set up the dramatic forward momentum. why throw in this cliche Hollywood Tension in their marriage if youâre not going to address it oh maybe because itâs normalized as automatically interesting because nuclear families are a self-propagating pit of a very narrow chance at emotional happiness relying on social stigma to preserve their empty function oops my baggage slipped in yikes abort mission
I called him griffin mcelroy because I saw his face on twitter and. yeah. I will continue to do this occasionally. my house my rules
... fuck the reason Iâm hung up on this is specifically because the rest of the game is so tonally dexterous (which is a shining point to me! more on that later!), and yet they felt weirdly compelled to create the aesthetic trapping of a family-at-odds trope without following it through too well. a sign of both the good and the bad stuff to come
but listen the real reason why I wanted to talk about any of this is to nitpick the fascinating backwards-engineered nucleus of the entire thing; in that this game essentially creates a melting pot of just SO many disparate horror tropes and then makes a no-holds-barred unhinged effort at weaving thick lore to piece them all together. it is truly a sight to behold. like straight up you got your backwoods fright night situation, your gothic castle vampires, your rural-industrial werewolves, and donât forget your bloated swamp monsters over there, with then a hard left turn into robotic body horror, and the entire ass subgenre of Creepy Doll writ large, and the bloodborne tentacle monsters, and a hellboy angel bossfight, which rides on the coattails of a mech-on-mech pacific rim bonanza, and just jesus henry christ slow down
almost all of these are textural hijack jobs that donât really get into the metaphor plain of any of those settings but the game sort-of makes an argument that the texture IS the point and revels in it. It is kind of admirable almost. The same reason why the intro felt boxed in and unmotivated is also why the rest of the game just blasts off of its hinges to the point of complete and self-indulgent tonal abandon. I kinda loved that about it. lady dimitrescu made sure to hold her hat down as she bent forward in mahogany doorways and then suddenly sheâs a giant gore dragon and you settle in your temp role as dark souls man with Gun to take her ass down. Excellent??
this rhino rampage impulse to gobble up every horror aesthetic known to man comes to head when the game wrestles with its FPS trappings in what is the most hilarious solution in creating visceral player damage moments. Since most cinematics and the entire game is in first person, that leaves precious little real estate for the devs to work with if they really want to sell griffinâs physical crucible. To wit. This dudeâs forearms. Specifically just the forearms. They are MASSACRED throughout the story. The poor man lives out the silent hill dimension of a hand model. by the end cutscene he looks like a neatly dressed desk clerk who had decided to stick both his grabbers into garbage disposal grinders just a few hours prior. like in addition to everything else it manages to rope in that tinge of slapstick violence into its general grievous genre collection except this time it IS for a lack of trying! truly incredible
but wait his miracle clawbacks from everything his poor paws go through are retroactively explained away, yes, but far too vaguely and far too late to console me as I sat and watched everyoneâs favorite baby brother reattach an entirely severed hand to his wrist stump by just. placing it on there. and giving it a lil twist ân pop terminator-style. and then willing his fingers back into motion right in front of my bulging eyes. this game just does not care. it does not give a shit. and boy howdy will it work to make that into one of its strongest suits
cause generally speaking resident evil was THE premiere vanilla zombie content destinaysh for like a decade, right? and as the rest of the world and mainstream media started encroaching and bloodying its blue ocean it went and just exploded in every single conceivable horror trope direction like a smilodon on catnip. truly, genuinely fascinating franchise moves
yeah the big vampire milf is hot. other news; grass... green. although I do love the implication that her closet is just identical white dresses on a rack. cartoon network-level queen shit
apropos of nothing Iâve said thereâs also this hobo dante-devimaycry-magneto man, and I canât believe this sentence makes sense. anyway he made that âboulder-punching assholeâ joke referring to chris redfield and it was probably the only easter egg that really landed for me and boy did it land hard. I have not seen him punch the boulder in re5, mind. I had only heard about how funny it is from friends. and here this dude was, probably in the same exact mindset as me, trying to grapple with that insane mental image. with you on that ian mckellen, loud and clear
I advocate vehemently against the shallow pursuit of hyper photorealism in art direction but I gotta admit it works really in favor of immersive horror like this. the european village shacks especially gave me super unchill flashbacks to my rural countryside retreat in western georgia. I could smell the linoleum dude. not cool
faces are weird in this game. canât place it. nice textures, good animation, but the modeling template is... uuh strange? and the hair. it has that clustered-flat-clumpy look that harkens to something very specific and unpleasant but I just donât know what. sue me
griffinâs mental aptitude to take all this shit in stride and end every seemingly traumatizing bossfight involving some fucking eldritch being yet unseen through mortal eyes by essentially throwing out an MCU quip is just. What the fuck dude? I mean that was funny how you casually yelled the f-word at a god damn werewolf that you considered a fairy tale an hour ago but are you like, all right?? it was swinging a sledgehammer the size of a bus at you, ethan
oh oh the vampires are afraid of cold and your last name is winters. I get it haha
Pro Gamer Nitpick: boss fights seemed a bit unnecessarily long?? idk why the youtuber we picked decided the ENTIRE propeller man fight counted towards the vital story scenes he was stitching together, but man mr big daddy lite there really had some get up and go huh??
why are they saying dimitrescu.. like that. is it really how you say that word or is the english language relapsing into its fetish for ending every single word with a consonant at all costs
Iâm not saying itâs a dramatic miss of a twist in context of all thatâs going on, but the âyou died in the last game actually and have been DCâs clayface ever sinceâ revelation is low-key. itâs. itâs just funny to me, I dont know what to say. century-old god-witch fails her evil plan after she mistakenly removes heart from what was definitely NOT just some white guy with eight fingers after all
chris realizing heâs about to become the player character and immediately swapping out his tsundere trenchcoat for the muscletight sex haver sweater
the little bluetooth speaker-sized pipe bomb he taped to his knife was nuclear?? really??? I must have missed something because that is just too good. I buy it though I totally buy it. chris just got them fun-sized nukes in his car trunk for, you guessed it, Situations
anyway this is all for now just wanted to briefly touch on how unexpectedly funny and tonally irreverent this seemingly serious game turned out to be. did not articulate any cathartic story beats whatsoever but my god it had fun connecting those plot points. he just fucking put his severed hand back on his stump and it Just Worked todd howard get in here
#text#another one in my bulleted review series with no rhyme or reason#sorry resident evil fans this could be a painful read pls turn away#i know almost nothing about it but i am gonna be super fake familiar and critical of this one hey ho
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Who is your favourite character in The Untamed and why? Oh, and what is your take on Lan Wangji's character?
God anon, the thing here is that my answer is basically âI love everyone in this bar!â*
*other than, like, three people
Thereâs just so many characters I have such good feelings about. I tried to top five it but I kept ending up with six or seven instead and then remembering more characters that I love. I just have a whole lot of feelings. I mean, the thing about me is that my true love when it comes to characters is âemotionally dysfunctional people with terrible livesâ and thatâs basically what weâve got going on here.
But I guess if Iâm picking a few:
1. Wei Wuxian. I mean, I walked into this show because of him and I walked out of this show with a new adoptee (this one). Thereâs so many buttons getting hit here, and itâs not just âevil flute music sexyâ or ânarrative kink for stories about the way that the stories people tell about people shape a personâ but it is also both those things.
Like, if ever someone gave me an introduction designed to make me go âoh, this oneâs mine nowâ itâs...well, both number one and two on this list.
Itâs just...watching that opening scene, and then two episodes later getting slingshot back into the past with someone who seems completely different, and watching those cracks grow and form with each hit he takes...is really good for my narrative kinks.
But also...heâs such a determined-to-be-good boy, heâs such a conciliator in all of these ways that make me feel things, Iâm always a sucker for someone who is self-destructive while not always realizing that theyâre being self-destructive, who has this particular type of selflessness that becomes self-immolation and also leads to a whole bunch of collateral damage. I have a thing for people who are desperately hiding their dysfunction because they donât want anyone to know that theyâve got any.
Like. Heâs such a mess. Heâs got a big heart and a lot of love to give and heâs an enormous fucking mess. And like. The family issues? The self worth issues? Just a whole bunch of things designed to hit me right where I live.Â
And evil flute music sexy.
2. Xue Yang. I know myself well enough that sometimes I can look at a character and within thirty seconds of their introduction go âoh Iâm going to like this oneâ and 90% of the time I am right and that is what happened with my new favorite gremlin. Yes he is terrible, I love him and I want him to have nice things.Â
This was true before we got to the Yi City arc and I was like. oh thanks for hitting me in my dysfunctional fucked up ship feelings, show, I needed another one of these! Which, I mean, I did need one, because I always do, but hoo boy.Â
I just...love a deeply feral and absolutely ruthless murder bastard. The sheer level of âfuck itâ energy coming off him all the time. The absolute commitment to the psychological destruction of his nemesis slash boyfriend. The psychological fuckery of spending many, many years trying to resurrect the nemesis slash boyfriend you drove to suicide. The weird murder friendship with Jin Guangyao. (Friends help you be complicit in the murder of two of five sect leaders!)Â
I love it. And him. That Good Shit.
3. Lan Wangji. Possibly this is like. Transitive property of character love because I love Wei Wuxian so much and obviously Wei Wuxian is fucking head over face in love with Lan Wangji, so - but also I just think heâs a very good boy?? Heâs a disaster gay primarily passing as a functional gay by virtue of not talking enough for people to notice how much of a disaster he is. Heâs spending a good half the show having a whole-ass moral existential crisis, which while I donât find it relatable I do find deeply endearing.Â
And just. Iâm always going to be a sucker for âcharacter who has a whole lot of emotions but doesnât want anyone to knowâ and thatâs very Lan Wangji. Heâs just! Very good. I am thinking about the scene with him drunk later in the show and that especially just makes me want to grab him and hug him only he wouldnât like it.Â
I donât know, he just gives me a lot of very squishy feelings where I want to tell him that heâs good and itâs not his fault that his boyfriend went over the literal edge.
4. Jin Guangyao. Itâs funny because on my first watch I didnât notice him all that much for a while (I was busy! having Wangxian and sibling feelings mainly, especially the latter tbh, and some bonus âadopting a new horrible gremlinâ feelings), and then we hit the Nie Mingjue flashback episode and I was like. oh shit I love you. youâre coming home with me now.Â
I mean, thatâs not totally unexpected, I am weak to characters who are a) schemers b) have a lot of shit going on with identity and perception and c) do a lot of really certifiably horrible shit, and I just. pocket sized murder kitten and he belongs to me, I will continue to call him Jiggy forever but that is only because he is yet another of my terrible sons
5. Lan Xichen. Another character I was like - warm and positive toward through my first rewatch and then at the end when he was completely shattering was like âoh hey I love him now.â And then also seeing people in fandom talk shit about him and going âoh hey I love him more now.âÂ
And then on my rewatch just like. Loving him even more because...yeah he makes some poor choices sure but heâs also just full of such...warmth and generosity? Like, this is a guy who, in a world where everyone is leaping to conclusions all the time, is like âmaybe letâs not leap to conclusions and give people the benefit of the doubt sometimes, you guys.â And I like that in a man. It seems like heâs almost compensating for everyone else by going maybe a little bit overboard.
But when did âcharacters making good choicesâ be something that qualifies anyone for a favorite of mine? The answer is never.
Also I deeply appreciate his commitment to Lan Wangji and by extension his position as the Founder of the Wangxian Fan Club (co-founder with Jiang Yanli, Iâd say, but I think he did get there first). And his consistent expression of exhaustion through the whole thing. Characters who need and deserve a nap: Xichen, and not just the depression one heâs taking post-canon.
6. Jiang Cheng. Didnât see that one coming but in retrospect probably should have! Iâm always going to have emotions about emotionally dysfunctional people with inferiority complexes who have a whole lot of feelings but only really know how to express one of them. Also just like. The entirety of the relationship between Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng was designed to hit me right in the place where I live and boy howdy did it succeed in leaving me hurting a lot for them both.Â
And just. This boy is such a disaster! Heâs miserable! Everything in his life kinda sucks and heâs not helping himself and definitely not dealing with any of his issues at all! I feel like he needs a nap and a five year hug in the worst way.
But also like. All my love for Wen Qing and Wen Ning both? Iâm acquiring more Jiang Yanli feelings on the regular? The entire Yi City Disaster Crew is gold and their dynamics are *chef fingers* amazing? I love all of the juniors but maybe especially Jin Ling so much???
(I do not have as many Nie brother feelings, but I feel like I could get talked into them with very little effort on anyoneâs part, especially with Nie Huaisang. I already have feelings about the NHS/JGY relationship, so.)
like this is very much one of those pieces of media where Iâm like âyes maybe I have latched onto these two characters most but G O D I love them all so much, taking them all home with me for therapy and hot chocolate.â
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Even-Stevens (Steve Rogers x Reader x Bucky Barnes)
Summary: While on a recon mission overseas, Bucky finds himself in close quarters with you and Steve. The last thing he expects is for the conversation to turn to your preference for super soldiers and an apparent âfree passâ arrangement.
Originally posted here
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Pairing: Steve x Reader x Bucky
Warnings: Language, kissing, free passes and such.
Word Count: 3,126
Puzzle Pieces: Character: Bucky Barnes Weather: Snow storm Setting: Finding/renting a cabin Prompt:Â âMove or Iâll sit on you.â
ââââ
A/N: Also available on AO3. Howdy, this is my first piece of Marvel-related writing in a while and is also part of @your-highnessmarvelâ âs Choose Your Puzzle Writing Challenge. This is just a bit of fun with my two favourite super soldiers, really. Hope youâs enjoy!
âHow much longer until we get to this cabin, Cap? I feel like Iâm starting to freeze.â
Buckyâs boots crunched in the snow as he trudged along a steep incline. Ahead of him, Steve and Y/N lead the way through the Scandinavian forests while the unsettling grey clouds above began to release a torrent of snow right on schedule. They had been flown out to the more secluded part of Sweden that afternoon, on a mission to do some recon on a newly-discovered HYDRA base. Two super soldiers and a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent â each of them having extensive knowledge on the organisation â seemed like the right crew to send out. The only issue was that a snow storm was due to swing by, forcing them to make a stop for some rest before sneaking to the baseâs outskirts in the early morning hours. Bucky didnât have much problem with snow anymore, even if he used to associate it with his time spent under HYDRAâs strict control in Siberia. It was somewhat freeing to be able to admire the peaceful weather without an unnerving and anxious feeling twisting around in his stomach.
Steve called out from his spot at the front of the trio. âThe cabin should be on the other side of this hill, so not long now.â
Bucky was the last in line with Y/N placed firmly between them. She released a sigh, visibly done with the building snow already. âGood, I donât think I can feel my toes anymore.â
âYou always this dramatic about a bit of snow?â Bucky teased, revelling in his super soldier abilities that kept him warm in useful times like this.
âUgh, yes, considering Iâm still a measly human?â she replied, glancing over her shoulder to look at him. âNot all of us got to have that special potion of yours, Barnes.â
âThat potion doesnât gift ya with extra patience, doll.â
âWell no wonder youâre such a grumpy guy then, James.â
From the front of the line, Steve called out. âGood God. Whose idea was it to send you two on this mission with me again?â
âYours!â they replied in unison without hesitation and Bucky laughed.
Steve let out a sigh. âRight, guess thatâs my own fault then.â
âCould be worse, Stevie,â Bucky offered, hopping over a fallen log that blocked his path. âAt least weâre not teasinâ you this time.â
âHow about we keep the joking around until after we reach the cabin at least?â
They didnât have to wait long to reach their destination. The cabin was where Steve said it would be, hidden away amidst the dense shrubbery and trees. Bucky barely offered the wooden structure more than a glance as they hurried inside and shut the outside world off behind them. Even if he wasnât particularly struggling in the harsh weather, it was nice to be somewhere more secure and comforting.
âIâll get the fire going,â Steve assured them, taking his signature shield off his back and leaving it leaning against a nearby wall. His tone shifted from that of Captain Rogers to his more casual friend Steve. âSo we can warm up.â
âThis place is really nice for a S.H.I.E.L.D. base,â Y/N noted, already shrugging off her heavy coat with a shiver. She peered into what looked to be a small living room and pointed at a big recliner in the corner. âDamn, I canât wait to park my ass in that later. Look at how fluffy those cushions are!â
âItâs a good spot,â Steve agreed, chuckling at her enthusiasm. âAnd it should keep us warm and away from that snow before we head out again later.â
âPlease tell me this place has hot water?â
âStark said he would make sure we have hot water and food, so you should have plenty.â
âGod bless that man,â she said gleefully. âIâm gonna go grab a shower.â With a kiss on Steveâs cheek, she rushed off into the bathroom. Steveâs eyes trailed after her with a small smile and Bucky eyed him, smirking in amusement.
âIâd tease ya for that,â Bucky began. âIf you two werenât so damn cute and ya didnât have that shit-eatinâ grin on your face.â
âThen take your own advice and say nothing,â Steve waved him off, turning his attention to the fire. âIâve had enough of your teasing for one day, punk.â
ââM just glad things are workinâ out between ya.â
Steve and Y/N had been in a relationship for the past year and from what Bucky could tell, things were going pretty well. They met at the Compound when she was brought in to assist with certain HYDRA missions. Being a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, she had much to offer, and her expertise came in very handy when they needed it. Steve clearly became fond of her for more than that, and his offer of coffee sparked what ended up being a healthy relationship for them both. He wasnât at all surprised when she caught Captain Americaâs attention. She was quietly confident in her abilities, could handle herself in the field, and was dedicated to helping people in whatever way she could. Not only that, but her playful snark when in a more casual setting caught him hook, line, and sinker. Bucky was always happy to see his best friend finding someone who made him feel content, and even more happy that he could poke fun at him for smiling like an idiot every time she was in the room. It helped that he genuinely liked her too, and found that they had surprisingly similar personalities. She certainly had his best pal seal of approval.
âThanks, Buck,â Steve replied, tossing logs on to the newly-lit fire. âIâm glad too.â
Bucky smiled before glancing around the small sitting room. âAnythinâ ya need me to do to help out?â
âTony said he would have some ready-made meals left in the fridge for us if you wanna sort those out.â
Bucky assured him he was on it before heading to the small kitchen in the next room over. As he pulled the pasta dishes from the mini fridge and prepared them, he got a proper look around the room. It was surprisingly homely, considering it was a base that was used quite regularly by S.H.I.E.L.D. agents in the area, but he supposed it would look suspicious to any passersby who looked in its windows and saw goddamn spy equipment littered all over the place. Its wooden beams and rustic decoration induced a warm, cosy feeling inside him.
Yeah, I could get used to this place.
With three meals steaming and ready to go, he knocked on the bathroom door to let Y/N know that there was food waiting for her when she got out. It didnât take her too long to join them in the living room. Bucky, ever the antagonistic jerk that he was, parked himself firmly in the much sought after recliner, much to Steveâs dismay. He would regret it, he said, already expecting the confrontation that would occur. The former Winter Soldier merely flashed him a pasta-filled smile. Evidently, Steve was right to warn him â the agent soon joined them with wet hair and wearing more casual clothes compared to her earlier attire. She planted herself in front of him, hands on her hips, while he wolfed down his meal. Up until that point, the calming atmosphere in the cabin had been ideal. Now, Bucky had definitely put his damn foot in it.
âYouâre in my spot.â
âAm I?â he asked, feigning innocence and unable to help himself. âIs this your cabin too?â
She bit back a smile. âItâs not my cabin, but I sure as hell claimed that chair.â
âI didnât hear ya claim anythinâ.â
âYou must be hard of hearing in your old age, then.â
From his spot on the couch, Steve snorted. Bucky rolled his eyes. âDonât bother an old man his chair.â
âThatâs my chair.â
âSays who?â
âSays me! So move.â
He chuckled, enjoying how he vexed her. âNot gonna happen, doll.â
âMove or Iâll sit on you.â
He grinned. âAwh câmon, we donât wanna make Stevie jealous with an offer like that.â
With a huff, she plopped herself on the couch next to Steve, letting her back rest against his shoulder and grabbing her ready-made meal. âYouâre the bane of my existence, Barnes.â
âLove you too, doll.â
Though they pretended to fight and ended up in bouts of verbal grilling semi-regularly, neither of them ever took it to heart.
The Captain merely rolled his eyes at the exchange, chucking his empty food container on the table and grabbing the laptop. âI need a distraction from this bickering. What did I do to deserve dealing with you two on this mission?â
Y/N replied without missing a beat. âIt must have been because of your rampant infidelity.â
Bucky choked on the last mouthful of his meal. He spluttered out a laugh, smacking his chest in an attempt to clear his throat. âFuckinâ hellââ
Steve appeared unamused while his girlfriend pacified him. âIt was just a joke, Steve! Why are you making that face?â
Oh, boy. Bucky would have felt bad for laughing had the situation been far more serious, but thankfully, said accusations were completely â well, mostly â false. At this point, it had become a bit of a joke between her and Steve.
A few months ago, Steve â or rather, Captain America â was asked to partake in an advertisement campaign, in which he was to do a photoshoot themed around the thirties and forties. Very original. One such snapshot was to be a recreation of the infamous V-J Day in Times Square photo, more commonly known as the Navy sailor embracing and kissing the nurse. A model took the place of the nurse, and it was done quite tastefully in Buckyâs opinion. Steve informed Y/N ahead of time, worried she might be displeased with the arrangement, but she was completely unfazed, well aware that it was just for a photograph. Regardless, the captain worried, reassuring her that ��it meant nothing, yada yada yadaâŚâ It had become sort of a running joke that she would frame him as a cheating fiend to get back for the weeks of unnecessary explanations she received from her boyfriend.
âI already said I was sorry about it,â Steve grumbled, slinging his arm around her shoulder and pulling her body closer to his. âAnd youâre still hasslinâ me about it.â
âIâm only joking around,â she clarified and gave his hand a squeeze. âPlus, Iâve already told you that you donât have to apologise to me. I couldnât care less about the photoshoot. But that hasnât stopped you from saying sorry or making unusual offers.â
âUnusual offers?â Bucky repeated, looking between them with immediate interest.
Y/N looked to her boyfriend with a wry grin. âCan we tell him?â
âTell me what?â
Steve was grinning despite his hesitance. âIf you want to, but it canât leave this cabin.â
Bucky immediately sat up in the recliner. âOkay, now Iâm really curious.â
With a sure nod from Steve, she turned to Bucky and revealed what their secret was. âHe offered me a free pass.â
Bucky blinked. âA what?â
âA free pass. Like, he said I can kiss one person to make up for him kissing the model. That way, weâll be âeven Stevensâ, as he said.â
Bucky was silent for a few seconds before he burst out laughing. He met Steveâs gaze and said. âYa seriously suggested that?â
The other man shrugged in response. âI felt guilty, alright? And it was only if she wanted to. There were also some conditions.â
Y/N began to list them off on her fingers. âNo strangers, no one already in a relationship, Steve has to know about it ahead of time and also be present, and specifically not Tony under any circumstances.â
âBut isnât he already in a relationship anyway?â
âYeah, but Steve was very insistent about it not being him.â
Bucky couldnât help but be amused by the arrangement, but Steve generally seemed unbothered by it. He supposed he felt reassured in their relationship and unthreatened about giving her a free pass to kiss someone else once without consequence.
Bucky nodded along thoughtfully. âSo⌠ya got your eyes on anyone?â
âI will admit, I did ask Steve whether Thor would be allowed.â
Bucky snorted. âOf course yaâd go for another big, dumb blonde.â
âDamn,â Steve sighed, pretending to be insulted. âWay to do us both dirty, Buck.â
âWhat can I say?â She shrugged, displaying not even an ounce of shame. âI do love a good beefcake.â
âThor ainât the only beefcake on the team,â Steve added, nodding suggestively to his friend sitting opposite them. âRight?â
Buckyâs natural response was to laugh until he saw the thoughtful look in Y/Nâs eyes. Clogs were clearly turning in her mind as she looked between them. âWell, now that you mention itâŚâ
His mouth fell open. âUhâŚâ
Now it was Steveâs turn to be amused at his friendâs discomfort. âYou speechless, pal?â
ââM tryinâ not to make assumptions, punk.â
âTo be honest,â she began again, equally amused by his reaction. âI did ask if you were also off limits, and apparently youâre not.â
Bucky was honestly stumped. At first, he couldnât tell whether they were joking or pulling some out of embarrassing prank. âI canât tell if you two are beinâ serious.â
âOh, itâs not a joke,â Steve confirmed casually. âShe asked whether Iâd be more comfortable with her kissing either you or Thor, and Iâve known you longer than anyone on our team. Iâd be more comfortable if itâs someone I trust wholeheartedly.â
âI⌠Uh, I just,â Bucky stammered, trying to choose his words carefully so that he didnât sound like an ass. He assumed he already sounded like an ass. âI wouldnât want things to be awkward between us, Steve.â
âItâs just a kiss, Barnes,â Y/N replied. âNothing to get your knickers in a twist over. Seriously, no big deal.â
He looked at her pensively. âNo big deal?â
âIf I kiss Bucky,â she said, placing a hand on Steveâs thigh. âCan we be even with this whole kiss thing and you can stop going on about it?â
He nodded and quickly shut the laptop. âDeal. If heâs comfortable with it too.â
âI meanâŚâ Bucky cleared his throat as they watched him expectantly. ââM not gonna turn down a kiss.â
Y/N got to her feet as he did. For a moment, he stood there awkwardly. It had been many years since Bucky was a rampant and confident ladies man. Even if he was doing much better since his brainwashed Winter Solder days, he still hadnât settled back into his previous reputation. His charisma had taken a bit of a nose dive. Sometimes he was more comfortable around damn goats than he was around a good-looking woman.
âItâs just a peck,â she reassured him gently with a small smile.
âUh, sure. Yeah.â He smiled back, not entirely sure what he should do with his hands. His metal fingers clenched into a fist before relaxing and repeating the motion.
âYou should dip her,â Steve suggested from his spot on the couch. When they gave him a questioning look, he added. âThatâs what I had to do for the photoshoot. Yâknow, like the original photo.â
âYa tryinâa make me feel even more awkward?â Bucky accused him.
âMaybe.â
âOkay,â Y/N said, then clapped her hands to psych them up. âCome on, Barnes! Donât think, just go for it!â
âAwh, fuck.â
Taking her advice and just âgoing for itâ, Bucky pulled her swiftly into his arms, dipped her back, and pressed his lips against hers. Her arms instinctively grabbed his broad shoulders as she settled into the sudden kiss, lips relaxing against his. He eased her back up, keeping the kiss chaste and gentle. Despite the formality of the arrangement and the fact his best friend was currently watching the embrace, Bucky couldnât help but think about how nice it was to kiss a woman again. It wasnât suggestive, it wasnât desperate, and it certainly wasnât insinuating that there was more to come. But it was good. Her soft lips, the light breath fanning over his face, and her body fitting into his sure as hell made him feel really damn good.
He pulled back from her lips with a small smack, carefully releasing her from his grasp. They stared at each other for a moment, taking in their surrounds and looking to see Steve sitting contentedly on the couch. âThat was some dip.â
Bucky grumbled in response while Y/N looked at him expectantly. âSooooo, weâre even now?â
âEven Stevens.â
âSweet. Thanks for the assistance, Barnes.â
Bucky waved her off awkwardly. ââS fine. âM not sure if this is weird, but youâre a good kisser.â
She giggled slightly. âEven if itâs kinda weird, youâre a good kisser too.â She ran a hand over the back of her neck and picked up her food off the table. âIâm, eh, gonna go reheat my dinner. Iâll be back.â
She left without another word, the sound of the microwave coming on confirming her explanation. Bucky stood in the middle of the room for a moment, watching her leave and then clearing his throat. He reclaimed his seat in the recliner once more, feeling his friendâs eyes on him.
Bucky met his smirking gaze. âWhose idea was that?â
âHers originally,â Steve admitted. âBut I didnât have any problem with it. We discussed it before a few times.â
âYa sure youâre cool with it?â
âDefinitely,â he confirmed. âItâs kinda nice to see you flustered over a dame for once.â
âSo weâre good?â he asked with an edge to his voice. âNo big deal?â
âOf course weâre good, Buck! Plus, who says I didnât get anythinâ outta that either?â
The brunetteâs brows piqued at his admittance. âReally? Huh⌠Ya better hope Stark hasnât got this place bugged.â
âWhat Tony wonât know wonât hurt him.â Steve relaxed in his seat, completely unfazed by the turn of events. âBut what I did know, was that youâd be up for the suggestion. And now I get to tease you for once. Who knew my girl could make you so flustered?â
Bucky shook his head, not taking the teasing to heart. He met his best friendâs cheerful gaze and started to laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. This was one weird recon mission, but he was sure as shit enjoying it. âShut up, jerk.â
âNot a chance, punk.â
#fanfiction#fanfic#avengers#avengers fanfiction#marvel#marvel cinematic universe#mcu#steve rogers#bucky barnes#steve rogers x reader#bucky barnes x reader#steve rogers x reader x bucky barnes#chooseyourpuzzle
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Hey whatâs your opinion on the Wayne kids? Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Tim Drake, Damian Wayne, and Cassandra Cain
Okay so.... this is gonna be long I have... thoughts.Â
I love Dick Grayson in theory. He seems very nice and he clearly means well, and as a fellow disaster bi, I get it. (Heâs also beautiful). But heâs a cop. I was fully prepared to love him- things were going so well in my perception of him, and then he became a cop - joining a force that is notoriously corrupt in a misguided attempt to what? Save the system by joining the system? When has that ever worked? He of all people should not have been a cop. HE WENT TO JUVIE. Why did he go-Â âhah yeah that was terrible- gonna go join the system that put me thereâ? I hate it. -10/10 career move. Would love to give him a piece of my mind. Like Iâm a lot of things, and likely to get arrested for direct action is one of them, I think America would be a better place if people stopped being cops- just in general. What have they really accomplished except enforcing racial and class distinctions in an effort to prevent the common man from rising up against our oppressors? I donât care how fat that ass is, I refuse to find a cop hot on moral grounds (also not an ass girl so itâs fairly easy to ignore). This being said, I feel so much pity for him. Not only for what he went through with his parents, but also the culture shock of adjusting to Gotham high society after coming from the circus- having experienced Gothamâs social services and juvie? Being a known Romani person in white culture, especially RICH WHITE CULTURE? I also wish death and suffering to anyone who started sexualizing him as soon as he hit puberty- any woman can tell you how that shit hurts, and being in the public eye only makes it worse- I will legitimately fight anyone, but especially the adult women I saw sexualizing him when he was 16, catch these fucking hands, death to pedophiles. I canât even imagine what heâs been through and I sincerely hope that he has someone he can confide in at the very least a friend but hopefully a professional.Â
Jason Todd- I donât know that much about him. He wasnât super in the public eye like Grayson was/is and he died young which is... unfortunate. I feel like Wayne didnât get enough flack for Todd dying - like Iâve mentioned this before, Bruce Wayne, beacon of Gotham adoption had one of his kids die, and like nobody talks about it? What the actual fuck? But I mean, he was from the Bowery and seemed like a spunky kid so like Iâm on board with Jason Todd. He didnât live long enough to become a cop, but heâs from the Bowery so who are we kidding, he wouldnât have done that anyway.
Tim Drake is complicated. On one hand heâs a literal child who dropped out of high school to take over a multi-billion dollar corporation for his adopted father- and that is SO fucked up on so many levels. Let him be a kid? Look me in the eyes and tell me he wouldnât be happier with kids his own age at a skatepark instead of sitting in an office all day dealing with investors. I also understand that his childhood was neglectful, and boy howdy do I know what that feels like, Iâve called my parents by their first names since I was 8 for a reason. I donât feel comfortable passing a lot of judgement on a teenager, and especially not one in his position. I didnât know who I was at his age, and I still donât really know who I am- heâs in a crucial state of development and in position where the opinions of strangers mean everything. Heâs under so much stress, I hope heâs okay and that heâs mentally and physically healthy. Â
Damian Wayne is an even smaller literal child. Heâs a goddamn BABY. Iâm not going to give moral judgement on such a wee bab. That is absolutely not happening. I am gonna say that I hope heâs getting the love and attention he needs to flourish, that heâs happy and healthy, and that heâs given the freedom to form genuine human connections rather than being forced to network for his father/brotherâs company. He deserves to be a child, and I hate that A. because of his race, and B. because of who his father is that thatâs not likely to happen in American society. I wish Damian well.Â
Uhm... Cassandra is really pretty and has some nice arm and shoulder muscles. Iâm a raging bisexual so this shouldnât surprise any of you. But uhm, she seems cool. She likes to dance and seems good at it. Itâs nice to see her being given the freedom to pursue her passions. Sheâs fairly quiet. She has nice arms. I genuinely donât know a lot about her, sheâs managed to be in the press less often than her brothers. Sheâs also newer to the family, so thereâs been less time for me to form an opinion.Â
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Ⱐ⥠ MUSE 75, TOM HOLLAND, CISMALE â have you seen TROY SINCLAIR around hillston? the 21 year old is said to be a COLLEGE SENIOR. the neighbours would say that theyâre ENTITLED and RUTHLESS, but theyâre actually SOCIABLE and NONCHALANT. HE often reminds people of quickies in club bathrooms, entirety of his closet filled with designer brands, gym locker rooms. watch out, though. you wouldnât believe that HEâS A SERIAL DATER AND PUTS HIS SELF WORTH ON THE ATTENTION HE GETS. ( candy, 24, aedt, she/her )
hey howdy hey  !  iâm candy and this is troy . donât come for me bc this man is a piece of shit ( but also pls love him lmao ) . find his statistics here and a list of wanted connections  here or  tag  here which i need to update  , oop .Â
full name : troy shane sinclair nickname(s) : troy boy , tboy birth date : june thirteen zodiac sign : gemini age : twenty-one gender : cismale pronouns : he / him / his sexual orientation : bisexual romantic orientation : biromantic education : high school diploma , currently studying a bachelor of athletic training at university as a senior
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from a very young age, troyâs been active, boisterous and restless. heâs always been doing something and putting his all into it. whether that was imaginative play, puzzles, hands on crafts or the majority of the time he was dancing along to kids shows ( that werenât on for very long ) or playing outside where he spent most of his time. he was a ball of energy, and still is. he also wanted people to watch him, so he could show off what he was doing to them or for them to play with them. he always wanted attention. ( that hasnât changed ). that only intensified when his siblings came into the world, and even more so when their mother âfucked offâ as he likes to say.
in the current day people know troy sinclair as the guy that doesnât give a shit about anything, that doesnât let things worry him. what they donât know is that after their mother left up until kindergarten, he had separation anxiety, specifically for his father and other close family members. he most definitely clung to dad in those years, fearing he was going to leave too but luckily, for everyoneâs sake, he managed to grow out of this when he realised his siblings needed him.
this boy is the epitome of a spoiled, entitled, rich, fuckboy. he only wears designer clothes and dresses to impress, is always wearing expensive watches, drives cars you can only dream of owning, works out/goes for a run every day, parties hard and fucks harder and is renowned for breaking hearts ( he is a gemini, what do you expect? lmao ). he is a good guy heâs just... questionable.
troy thrives on fun and adventure and every weekend is a chance to travel, party or cause chaos. he would very much prefer to be off traveling, exploring, putting his curiosity to good use by discovering new things or partying than sitting at home being lazy. even before turning twenty-one, clubs are one of his playing fields/stomping grounds as well as frat parties and regular bars.Â
thatâs not to say heâs not a classy mofo either, mates. catch him sporting suit and tie at brunches and galas talking the talk and sipping on expensive wine with his kind.Â
troy exudes confidence and luxury. although he may think that the world revolves around him at times and believes he deserves special treatment because of his familyâs reputation and wealth, but he will literally talk to anyone. like, he can talk thatâs for sure and is one of those people that comes across as being âfriendsâ with everyone. he is sociable and civil ( in his own way ). you may be of lower class and he will still talk to you.Â
itâs very hard for troy to stress out or to get upset. school work is getting hard? oh well. i just broke up with my partner? meh. dadâs got another partner? what else is new? you want a fight? bring it on. he is very much a believer in things are meant to happen for a reason and doesnât tend to take life too seriously ( except for when it comes to prized possessions and even then he can go out and buy some more ). he does get offended though, letâs make that clear. with that being said though, when opportunity arises or he finds something that he wants he will take it and wonât stop until he gets what he wants.
when he is hurt, however, he will bottle it and not say a single word. for someone whoâs brutally honest and isnât shy to give his opinion, troy is very closed off and tends to keep people at a distance or lie to them about his feelings when heâs down.
family is everything to troy! he loves them unconditionally ( even if they annoy the fuck out of him sometimes ) and they are the only people he would lay down his life for. everyone else? nah. he isnât overly protective over his siblings because he knows they can take of themselves, but will step in when need be like the good big bro he is.Â
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troy doesnât like to be single, canât be single. not really anyway. there are underlying commitment or abandonment issues when it comes to relationships that are more than likely the root of the problem. along with the fact mama left and papa has had countless partners over the years.
troy doesnât need to be the centre of attention as he already knows heâs the best, but he expects attention. he works hard on his physique and appearance, putting his self-worth on the constant attention he receives. negative attention isnât ideal, though he knows that only the best have their haters. being in a relationship is a validation to him that he is worth it, that his looks and who he is is worthy. itâs not healthy, and i think he knows it.
being single for too long gives him doubt, sends him down a downhill spiral of harsh criticism and he feels as though he is nothing without someone, that someone not wanting him is the end of the world in a dramatic sense.Â
not only that, but troy actually enjoys the beginning of relationships. the charming smiles, flirting, the chase, going on those first few dates and being showered in compliments ( and giving them, ofc ). he likes getting to know people, likes the process of being strangers to being together, and he enjoys sleeping with new people also. the first touches, the way he can make someoneâs heart race and how they can do the same to him. itâs enticing, addicting like drugs. all the way to the honeymoon phase.
he knows it isnât love, not matter what his lover at the time says. he has never said it, and probably never will because he doesnât believe in romantic love ( weâll see ). troy is deep down in love with the idea of love, and itâs sad.
the boyâs relationships tend to last a couple of months at the very most. when that honeymoon phase starts to wear off, when heâs had the sex he needs and feels as though that partner is not doing anything for him anymore⌠heâs out. any work that needs to be put into a relationship to make it work or when a solid, deep and emotional connection is meant to start forming, heâs done. with that being said, he has never cheated on his spouse! ever! he always leaves first before hoping in the sack with someone else!
break ups are not easy for most people, but for troy itâs nothing. itâs as easy as getting dressed in the morning, like breaking a toothpick. douchebag i know, donât come for me.
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(wtf fauhwn uses proper grammar??) Howdy folks; this is pretty well overdue considering I made up these kids back in August, but I kept changing the story so there's a lot of inconsistency, and I apologize for that, haha.
Anyways today we-well-I, will be discussing/sharing Ryan's backstory
btw i have little to no knowledge on the military which will be a big part of ryan's story, so forgive me.
(The ski mask son of a bitch)
Again I make changes to the story every 0.2 seconds that my mind can functionally think. Also warning this will be fairly long considering I write a lot.
Ryan McClain (fake identity, not his actual name) was born in Michigan, in the more Northern, rural regions. His birthday is on November 13th, and was born anywhere from 1982-1990, also 6'5. (he's 25 in the story I just quite haven't put a pin on what year it takes place in. But the years are around 2005-2011) His father's name is John Reyes. His mother was Deborah Reyes. She died when Ryan was around 4-5 due to a sickness. John was heartbroken, since he really loved her. He's not a very good father to Ryan, and even before Deborah's death he was pretty shit. Anyways he always brings some woman home every couple of months. Ryan had like 3 or 4 stepmoms lol. They were all bitches too so Ryan didn't like any of them.
When Ryan's mother died, his uncle, David Reyes, took care of him a lot. (Even before her death him and his uncle would get along.) David is a super kind man, and is the older brother of John by quite a lot of years. He was born in like the 1940s or 50s, likely the latter, and was part of like, the Special Forces or something I think. Is also a Vietnam Veteran. Before Ryan was born his wife and son were killed in a car accident, so I guess Ryan reminded David of his son and only caused him to love him more. Anyways he and Ryan would go hunting a lot, and Ryan caught his first animal with a rifle at the age of 7. With the help of his uncle of course. Most of the time Ryan just did all of these things to try and impress his father, who basically did not care. David felt bad for him and he just loved Ryan so he always made sure to give Ryan the attention and love he deserved.
So basically David was the father figure that Ryan needed in his life.
David inspired Ryan a ton, and he'd always marvel at the various medals that David has hung up in a small room in his house, and Ryan wanted to join the military too when he was older. David was in his uh.. 50s, but he still had lots of fight left in him, and teached Ryan a lot of self-defense tactics as well as going to shooting ranges with him. David was a medic too I think. Well he had some prior knowledge on medicine anyways. So he passes that down to Ryan too, and teaches him how to treat stab wounds, bullet wounds, tying a tourniquet, stopping blood loss, etc.
Straying away from Ryan and his lovely uncle we now delve into some more personal shit. So anyways Ryan develops a crush on this girl, Susan, when he first went to high school. They actually dated quite a while later after being friends for a bit, and dated for a long time. And Ryan really liked her.
Now Ryan finishes high school and he's enlisted. He's got a lot of knowledge from his uncle, and it was his uncle who inspired him to join the Marines. He promises his girlfriend and uncle that he will spend as much time with them as he can when he isn't on tour.
Fast forward Ryan is on tour, he's with some guy named Richard Stilles. They're both very capable men, and got along well.
Ryan met this little boy while he was there. He knew no English, but Ryan, being the soft piece of shit he is, sort of just stayed with the little kid for a bit, gave him some snacks and such, tried to have fun with him amidst the war.
Then later, when Richard and Ryan were looking out, they were told there was a little child carrying a bomb. Ryan was like "shit i ain't killing a child"
Suddenly the little boy that Ryan helped out comes out. Ryan smiles, happy to see him okay, but Richard has that constant neutral face on him. The kid starts walking towards Ryan, and Richard pulls up his gun.
"Woah woah Rich, what are you doing?"
"You heard them. Kid has a bomb."
"Wh-wait we can't know for sure it's him! Put the gun down!"
"Can't take any half-measures, Jim."
"We can't kill a fucking child!"
"It's him or us Jim."
Anyways Ryan tries to stop Richard, but the kid kept coming forward.
"Richard please, put the fucking gun down."
Richard starts to aim đ
"RICHARD PUT IT DOWN-"
BANG!
So the kid drops dead to the floor and Ryan is like đą and Richard is like đ (He always has a neutral face on) and this shit traumatizes Ryan. Also Richard is some psychopath or something.
Turns out the kid didn't even have a bomb, and Ryan was literally shaking with anger and had tears in his eyes, and nearly beat the shit out of Richard but his other buddy, Samuel, talked him out of it.
Anyways a few more years later Ryan is honorably discharged at 24 years old. He returns home to find out that the 'love of his life' was constantly cheating on him. This shatters Ryan, and he gets just so fucking furious, and Susan and Ryan have a fight. Obviously they break up, and part ways.
Not too long after, Ryan is walking around, when he discovers Susan and some other man. He starts harrassing her, which escaltes to assault. Ryan immediately jumps in, but the dude was pretty fucking aggravated. (It was because Susan said something that wasn't a big deal but he wasn't having it.) In the process, Ryan kills the guy. He's like đąđą and Susan is like đ¨. Instinctively Ryan rushes to his uncle's house, panicking. Eventually he spills out what just happened to his uncle. David is obviously shocked, but tells Ryan he needs to leave. He knows a guy who can give out fake identities. So anyways David hands Ryan the information.
While Ryan tries to leave, he bumps into Susan. She promises she won't say anything, saying she'll just say it was an 'act of self-defense' by her. Ryan is worried she'll get arrested but Susan is like 'nah i'm a woman we don't go to jail'. She's a bitch but she's still a mildly good person.
Anyways Ryan flies to New York City where he spends his time wearing the infamous ski mask in public to hide his identity (pretty stupid but it just became a habit). His uncle heard he lives in New York, and moves to Vermont. Ryan visits David whenever he can, usually once or twice every few months. But they're in good touch anyway since they're close to each other lol.
Remember our insignificant but soon-to-be-pretty-significant guy Samuel? Turns out he's in NY too. Is paid to treat people outside of the hospital. Anyways so Ryan and Samuel get in touch too.
Fast forward to a year is where the story starts and Ryan meets Zoey.
Oh and about his personality - he's a very pragmatic guy, and is overall pretty chill, cold, and distant. Well if you're close to him then he's more bright. A bit witty if I might add. Doesn't talk much unless-again-you're close to him.
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New Traditions and Worlds
My @homestuckss gift for @dykeiatrist ! I used âDavekat,â âJane,â and âHurt/Comfortâ (with a bit of DirkJake) to create a cute little holiday fic! Hope you enjoy it :D Have a wonderful holiday season!!
Also on ao3Â (@detective_in_space if the link doesnât work!)
âTwas the week before Christmas,â Dave started before pausing, âYo Rox, whatâs somethinâ that rhymes with Christmas?â
âAss? Wait, no, no that doesnât work⌠ChristmasâŚâ Roxy muttered, âOkay so, like, the only thing Iâve got is Christmas, but you absolutely cannot rhyme âChristmasâ with âChristmas,â right?â
âYouâre definitely right,â Dave sighed as he scratched out the words in his notebook, âDude, like absolutely nothinâ rhymes with Christmas words.â
Roxy moved over and rested their hand on his shoulder, âKarkat will appreciate the thought at least. Hey, there are other things than Christmas raps, like festive interpretive dances! Or Festive slam poetry?â
âWell, duh, itâs Karkat weâre talkinâ bout,â Dave laughed, but in his defense, it was true. Karkat would yell and insist that he hated Daveâs most âironicâ gifts, but there was a certain fondness in his tone. Like it was just a whole elaborate game. The edges of Karkatâs eyes would wrinkle as his lips curled into a small grin. A small chuckle would escape, which Dave would obviously point out, and in response, Karkat would punch him (before wrapping him in a hug). Oh god, that was the bestâŚÂ
âHey sleeping beauty,â Roxy interrupted, as they lightly hit the side of Daveâs head, âDid ya invite me over here just to fall asleep?â
âNah dawg, I was just thinkinâ about the usual,â Dave brushed their hand aside.Â
âSo,â Roxy drawled, âKarkat?â Roxy wiggled their eyebrows at Dave.Â
âNo,â Dave exclaimed, âFuck, I mean, no. Hey, do ya know any, like, traditions that people do for Christmas and all that jazz.â Now that was a smooth change of topics.Â
âSmooth like a babyâs bottom,â Roxy laughed, âBut, nah. I didnât even know Christmas was like a real thing⌠thought it was an urban myth or something.â Oh, right. Roxy lived in some highly-futuristic society that was enslaved by a fish bitch, but there was none of that oppressive dictatorship on Earth C. Trolls, Carpacians, Humans, and well, any other species were free to chill by the fire and enjoy whatever holiday they wanted. Now that, was what sweet, sweet democracy was about (preach Obama).Â
âLit, lovinâ that weâre both oblivious of any cultural traditions⌠hey, you think one of the Crocker-Harley-English⌠berts... would know more about this? Iâm feelinâ like theyâd be all up in that shit,â Dave said, âOh fuck, Iâm so smart. Thatâs like totally their thing.â
After quickly picking up all his stuff and saying goodbye to Roxy, Dave picked up his phone and dialed Jane Crocker, the holiday expert, on his way home. Wait, oh fuck, what if she was busy? Itâs not like he usually talked to her, so was it out of the question? Oh no, maybe he shouldâve just texted John...
The phone picked up, âHello, Jane Crocker speaking?â
âOh⌠oh! Hey Jane, itâs Dave⌠ya know⌠Dirkâs cooler bro,â Dave started. He shoved his hands into his hoodie pocket and kicked a stray pebble on the sidewalk. Yes, he could be floating around, but exercise was important.Â
âWell, howdy there Dave. Itâs been a while since weâve talked, hasnât it,â she chuckled, âAnyways, did you need anything?â
âSo, like, Rox and I were talkinâ about Christmas and stuff⌠and well, weâre both dumb and have no idea what people actually do for it, so I thought you might be the expert on the subject? Because it totally seems like itâd be up your ally,â Dave rambled on.Â
âWell golly, Iâm flattered. Itâs been a while since Iâve actually celebrated the holiday, but of course, Iâll help you! Before the game, my father and I had so much fun celebrating⌠letâs see⌠Well, Iâm sure you already know this, but weâd go out to a farm together and pick out a tree. Iâd always search for the fattest tree, and my father would help me cut it down. And then weâd go get Hot Cocoa and pick out ornaments together, and well, oh sorry, Iâve gotten a bit off-topic, havenât I,â Jane apologized.
âNo, no! Youâre literally the best⌠lemme just get a piece of paper to write this on,â Dave fumbled around his captchalogue, and pulled out an old notebook (of course, with Obama on the cover). âOkay cool, I got one, hit me with all that sweet, sweet info.â
âAlright⌠letâs see, what else⌠oh, well after we decorated the tree, weâd make and frost sugar cookies and cakes together. Oh! Karkat and you are welcome to come over together sometime and make cookies with me if youâd like,â Jane offered. Hell yeah, she was a literal legend. Roxy and Dirk had the best friends.Â
âYeah, dog, weâd love to! Iâll hit you up with a date once Karkat checks the calendar. You know him and⌠schedulinâ,â Dave said as he continued to write down Janeâs suggestions.Â
Jane chuckled, âSounds good⌠and one more thing⌠My father and I would always put cheesy Christmas music on. That was the best⌠weâd make absolute fools out of ourselves, but it was so much fun. Literally, weâd just dance around and belt the lyrics⌠those weâre the days,â Janeâs voice started to crack⌠fuck⌠had Dave made her cry? âSorryâŚâ she continued, âI donât mean to be so emotional. Oh lord, Iâm sorry. I⌠I hope I helped you a bit, and just, feel free to come over whenever for cookiesâŚâÂ
âFuck, no,â Dave searched his brain⌠what would Karkat say⌠âSorry for bringinâ up those memories. I know it sucks and all. Iâll give you some time and just hit you up later.âÂ
âYes, thatâd be great⌠see you later then,â Jane said as she hung up.Â
Well, shit, Dave had already made one person cry and it was only 11 a.m. Maybe Christmas was just an emotional time and stuff. Jane was cool, though, so he hoped that she was okay. Plus, she gave him some kickass advice, and he was so ready to get his holiday spirit on.Â
The rest of the walk to his place was boring. Dave tried to come up with some more sick raps for his Christmas album, featuring the new and improved version of âJingle Bells.â The air was crisp and way too cold for Daveâs Texan roots (he blamed John for the freezing wind), so he was thankful when he finally reached the door.Â
âYo, Karkat, Iâm home, and I come with words of wisdom from the one and only Jane Crocker herself,â Dave announced as he closed the door behind him. He attempted to throw his coat and hang it up, but it fell clumsily to the floor. He shrugged it off and continued through the cozy lilâ condo, finding his way into the kitchen, where he found Karkat doing a load of laundry. Yes, the washing machine and dryer were in the kitchen⌠it was only the most ironic, British mom location for them. Dave, being the coolest man to ever exist, ran up to Karkat and hugged him from behind.Â
âJesus fucking shit Dave! Are you trying to give me a blood pusher attack?â Karkat screeched as he jumped like fifty feet in the air (okay maybe that was a bit of an exaggeration, but it basically happened).Â
âNah dude, you wouldnât dare be all anime protagonist on me and faint. Like, imagine me runninâ to cradle you in my arms while you murmur âIâm goinâ to have to kawaii the shit out of your desu.â Literally, imagine thatâ Dave rambled.Â
Karkat groaned at this, âStop spending time with Dirk. Youâre turning into a shitty weeb Karkat said as he pushed Dave away.Â
âI canât help it⌠itâs who I am,â Dave clutched yo his chest and fell to the ground, pulling the other boy down with him. Karkatâs words. The worst weapon of all.Â
âIâm going to go live with Kanaya and Rose,â Karkat grumbled, falling to the ground as dramatically as possible (making sure to land on Dave with as much force as possible).Â
âLike youâd do that,â Dave scoffed, âSheâs worse than me. Plus, is you did, we couldnât be all romantic and celebrate human holidays together. Câmon dude, we gotta act like a high school couple. Get all up in each otherâs space and kiss under the mistletoe. Oh, speakinâ of that! I talked to Jane, who is literally the best, and she was like âoh Dave! Check out this super lit tradition I did back on the o.g. Earth. Like, you get to cut down a tree and decorate with the most ironic ornaments.ââÂ
âSound detrimental to the environment and a waste of time. Whatâs the point of celebrating a fucking tree,â Karkat asked.
âDude, itâs a pine tree, which is superior to all other trees. Besides, itâs about family and friends. I mean, I never celebrated Christmas with Bro, but you canât just diss Karen like that,â Dave said, using his best white mom voice.Â
âFine whatever. Iâll celebrate your dumb human holiday, but I call picking out the decorations,â Karkat bargained as he stood up and dusted off his pants (getting rid of Daveâs germs).
âHell yeah, deal! Get your coat on, weâre gonna get a tree and bring it in our house,â Dave exclaimed, quickly getting off the ground.Â
The boys quickly got ready and weâre out the door, hopping into their car. Dave has gotten it because well, basically of all Karkat and his friends could fly. He has listened to Karkatâs complaining enough and invested in an older, used minivan. And man, did he love the thing. Hey, maybe heâd become a car person after the holidays were over.Â
Dave was about to drive to the nearest park with a saw, but Karkat demanded that he call and ask Jane first. Jane recommended a small farm in the middle of nowhere, and with the use of a GPS, they eventually found their way there (after a few hours of trial and error).
âJane said that fat trees were better, but honestly, Iâm lovinâ this tall ass one right here. I mean look at it. Itâs taller than the Empire State Buildinâ⌠wait, is that still a thing? Like an Earth C Empire State Buildinâ?â In Daveâs defense, it was a totally valid question. Like, did Earth C have the same seven wonders of the world? Who knew.Â
âShut the fuck up. Weâre here for a tree, not imperialism,â Karkat groaned, âAnd besides, our house isnât big enough for that.â
âBut Karkat, the economy,â Dave whined, âBut like, what about this tiny one⌠it reminds me of you, short stacks.â
Karkat shoved him, âAnd the other reminds me of your flat ass.âÂ
âIâll take that as a compliment⌠since you're lookinâ at my ass and all,â Dave pulled down his Stiller shades and winked.
âShut up, you fucking twink. Letâs just celebrate your weird human holidays and get the tree,â Karkat grumbled as he attempted to pick up the tree.Â
Dave doubled over laughing as he watched the 5â3 troll struggle, but once Karkat shot him an angry glare, he rushed over to aid him (with his huge muscles, of course). âNice, I can feel it pokinâ me through my mittens. Ten out of ten would recommend.â
After endless trial and error, the pair managed to carry the tree to the register and on top of their car, a red minivan that Dave had picked out.
âSo,â Karkat started, âWe just put a tree in our block and decorate it? And then some creepy old man flies around the world and gives presents to children by putting them under the tree?â His eyebrows furrowed as he attempted to understand human traditions.
âDude, I canât even explain it. Humans can come up with some weird shit when they put their minds to it,â Dave laughed. The rest of the car ride consisted of Karkat rambling about trollian traditions. Their hands managed to find one another and rest comfortably on the center console (Dave, of course, kept one hand on the steering wheel at all times⌠hey, safety is important).Â
Their next stop was the local hardware store. It was owned by a sweet, older Carpacian. In all honesty, she reminded Dave of the Mayor⌠a kindred spirit whose goal in life was to just lead and help make others happy. She made the place seem like the opposite of a place to buy tools. The place was decorated with festive garlands and cheery music rang through the air. Dave waved at her as the pair walked towards the Christmas section.
âSo,â Dave drawled, âWhat kind of ornaments are we lookinâ for? Personally, I wanna find a dick shaped one⌠for the memories of cockscotch. Bless that game.â
âThis is a family store, dick-muncher! And weâre getting triple-f ornaments! Family fucking friendly!â Karkat screeched, marching ahead (but not before grabbing Daveâs hand and pulling him along).Â
âFine, fine, I get it⌠gotta make our house grub friendly, for when John comes over,â Dave snickered as they walked the ornaments aisle. Who knew there were so many different variations in fucking decorations? You had some for your Karens, poor college students, newlyweds, too many to count. Karkat busied himself with the⌠glass ball? Well, whatever that kind of ornament was called.Â
âThese are nice,â Karkat noted, showing Dave a set of jade glass baubles (haha, like Kanaya).
âBut like, dude, theyâre so borinâ,â Dave whined, âWe gotta spruce this tree up⌠get it? Spruce is a kind of tree.â Dave chuckled at his own dad joke. Shit, he was hilarious.Â
âHey, Iâm just trying to make this actually look nice. Weâll get other colors too, and âspruceâ it up, as you say,â Karkat said as he went back to check out the boring ornaments. Dave, on the other hand, went to look at the childrenâs ornaments on the other side of the aisle. Most of them were new pop culture things that Dave didnât recognize (God was he growing old). However, there were a few that grabbed his attention, and obviously, he was gonna have to show these to Karkat.Â
âYo, dawg. Check out these cool little fuckers. Theyâll make our tree look mads cool,â Dave opened his hands to reveal a bunch of little crab ornaments. They were cute and not boring glass balls. Plus, crabs were like Karkatâs thing⌠heâd definitely appreciate them.
âCrustaceans? Donât you just know the way to my blood pusher,â Karkat rolled his eyes, âJust put them in the basket before I change my mind.â
Dave threw his fist in the air and gave Karkat a side hug, âHell yeah, you wonât regret this. We gonna get so festive up in this joint. All the moms will be begginâ to check out the coolest tree in the neighborhood, which if ya didnât catch on, will be ours.â
âYou got me. Iâm only doing this to make Carol jealous. She fucking deserves it,â Karkat chuckled. Yes, Dave knew he was doing swell when he made Karkat laugh. If only he could give himself a, well earned, golden star.Â
âDude yes, I fuckinâ hate Carol. Câmon, letâs get more lights. We gotta make this flashy and blow a fuse, speakinâ of which⌠do you know how to fix a broken fuse? Because I do not wanna call Dirk over to fix it for us. Heâll be like âDave, Iâm just tryinâ to celebrate the holidays with my darlinâ boyfriend⌠have I mentioned Jakeâs ass? Damn, lemme just rant about that and never actually fix your broken utilities.â Can you imagine the pain, Karkat,â Dave lamented? He loved his brother, donât get him wrong, but he did not want to mess with Dirk this close to the holiday season.Â
âI can, actually. Remember what happened the week before Jakeâs birthday? Dirk is batshit crazy, but he gets it from you,â Karkat smirked as Dave feigned an offended expression, âNow, can we stop talking about his love life and actually pick out some decorations?â
The pair still had one more destination before they could go home and relax, maybe even decorate the tree⌠but knowing themselves, theyâd probably wait until Christmas Eve to put the new lights and ornaments up.Â
âOh my goodness, Iâm so glad you two could make it,â Jane said as she opened the door, âIâve already got everything out, so all we have to do is bake and decorate cookies⌠and perhaps eat a bit of dough.â She ushered the two inside.Â
âHell yeah, youâre the best Janey,â Dave said as the pair put away their coats and walked to the kitchen with Jane. Everything was so clean, especially when compared to their house. Karkat would always fuss about his habits, but Dave felt a sort of comfort in the messiness. So what if there were shirts thrown on the floor and an unorganized stack of papers on the kitchen table. It built⌠character.Â
âIâve never had what you humans call âcookies,â but thank you for having us,â Karkat added.Â
âOh please, itâs no problem. I love baking, and I especially love helping people get into the holiday spirit,â Jane said. The trio fell into a simple routine once Jane showed them the recipe, helping the two boys when need be. Dave filled the silence by rambling under his breath about whatever he deemed important, while Karkat concentrated on making his cookies perfect.Â
âHey look,â Dave exclaimed while holding up one of his doughy creations, âItâs a Karkat angel! A Kar-Angel⌠a Karkat Van-Angel!â His cookies were shaped into gingerbread men with nubby horns and an uncharacteristic smile.Â
âAnd I made a Dave-Cookie⌠oh wait, itâs just a blob of dough, my fucking bad,â Karkat retorted, going back to rolling out his dough.Â
It was a long process, but after a few hours, the boys had successfully made their first batch of Christmas sugar cookies. A few of the cookies werenât burnt on the edges, but they were delicious nonetheless. Jane demanded that the pair take home their creations, as she didnât have enough room in her cabinets for more holiday desserts.Â
âGoodness, thank you so much for coming over and making sugar cookies! I havenât had this much fun since⌠well, itâs been a while. Feel free to come by and help me whenever you all would like,â Jane chirped.Â
âOf course, Janey,â Dave replied, âYou best bet weâll be back for some more goodies! Gotta get my housewife on. I canât be accidentally poisoning Karkat with some undercooked cake.âÂ
âYouâve poisoned me with every meal of yourâs, except the Kraft Mac and Cheese, but only because Roxy helped you,â Karkat spat.Â
âOh well, we certainly canât have that. Iâll be seeing you both again soon then. Have a Merry Christmas and a wonderful new year!â
It was dark by the time they were home. Karkat and Dave both felt the sleepiness enter the body, as they kept yawning. It was too late to decorate the tree, so it was leaned against a corner. The pair immediately plopped down onto the couch and put on a holiday classic, Tim Allenâs âThe Santa Clause,â which Dave argued was the best Christmas movie known to mankind, trollkind, and carpaciankind alike.Â
âYâknow, I never imagined that I would celebrate Christmas. Like, dude, that shit was mads uncool,â Dave said out of the blue, interrupting the beautiful sound of Tim Allen interacting with CGI reindeers and kidnapped children.
Karkat groaned, âWell, me either, yet here I am, celebrating a dumb holiday for dumb human grubs.â He was just trying to enjoy this wonderful holiday film, but with Dave, silence didnât last long. In a way, it provided comfort to the pair. He knew that Dave absolutely hated the silence, as it reminded him of his Bro. For Karkat, Daveâs endless rambling allowed him to take his mind off of his worries. It was an odd relationship, one that had taken years to achieve, but here they were⌠they had made it, yet Karkat knew there were still shaky moments for the two of them. Like now, for example. The pair both would jump around certain barriers, trying desperately to aid one another, while still attempting to not dig too deep.Â
Dave rested his head upon Karkatâs thighs and snuggled into the pile of blankets, reminding him of their time on the meteor, âYâknow, I wouldnât have this whole thing any other way. âM glad my first Christmas is with you, instead of Bro.â His words are slurred together and slightly muffled, and Karkat canât help the stupid ass blush that creeps onto his face at the sound of them.Â
âFuck that guy,â Karkat spits. After a moment, he starts again, this time with a gentler tone, âAnd itâs nice to have you here too, no matter how fucking dumb your endless rants may be.â
Dave could almost hear Dirk whispering âTsundereâ in his ear as he chuckled, âAwe, love you too, KitKat.â He sits back up, nearly smacking the top of his head into Karkatâs jaw. He looks away for a second, briefly hesitating, then leans in, closing the distance between the pair. Itâs just a brief peck, but it leaves the two of them speechless. Dave looks at Karkat through his shades. A light brush coated his cheeks and his lips curled into a small grin.Â
Karkat pulls Dave into his side and looks towards the corner of the living room, where their small, fat tree is leaning against the wall. It was empty and in desperate need of attention (aka Crustacean ornaments). Filled with a sudden burst of energy, he paused the movie and stood up, pulling Dave with him, âGet off your lazy ass and get fucking festive. We have a tree to decorate.â
#hsss2019#homestuckss#dykeiatrist#homestuck#pesterquest#hiveswap#karkat vantas#dave strider#davekat#jane crocker
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Reaper At The Gates
Full disclosure, this book has 458 pages and I kinda cried on page 448 so this may or may not make sense because I am FUCKED UP right now. Page 448 has no goddamn diddly fucking RIGHT to be that emotional and Page 449 is fucking CRUEL. The page header. The fucking PAGE HEADER telling me which goddamn POV the chapter is in made my heart SAD and that shit should be illegal. Chapter LVIII had no fucking RIGHT and Iâm suing for emotional trauma.
I am crying in the goddamn club right now. I am inundating this club with my tears and bringing about the second great flood because THIS FUCKING BOOK.
If youâve been with me for ANY amount of time, you already know about this book because I started this book in the goddamn SUMMER of 2K19 and I only just finished today, on the day of our lord, February 10th 20 FUCKING 20. Took me a goddamn year to read this book and honestly?
Honestly I should have fucking finished this book earlier because HOLY SHIT.
The book is a rollercoaster that I got shoved on without a seatbelt or something to hold onto, then subsequently yeeted into a sea of emotions that hit me on the head like a fucking WARHAMMER. The author, Sabaa Tahir, is a goddamn sorceress. Her words are twists and turns and it is all I can do to hold on.
With every fibre of my being, from the pull of my muscles to the creaking of my very bones, I wish so so desperately to have copies of the first two books so I can experience them again. So I can start the journey all over again. So that when I read this FUCKING BOOK, everything is fresh on my mind.
Itâs the third book in the Ember In The Ashes series and when I say that I am shooketh. This book swung for my goddamn kneecaps and went for my jugular.
It is painful.
Let me say this right fucking now that it is PAINFUL. The imagery is beautiful and brutal. The sentences are skillfully crafted knives that are thrown at me with precision. It is a thunderstorm that has long since been spotted but has yet to strike. Anticipation builds and builds and builds until you feel like youâre going to crack under the pressure. And then the storm comes. And you break.
This book is fucking painful. Characters Iâve loved, characters I saw laughing, crying, howling with hurt, characters that Iâve grown attached to, are subjected to so many things that I canât help but feel for them. They are clay, Tahir is the sculptor, and I am the poor fool watching them get broken down to be molded again, hoping desperately that this time, this time, theyâll be fine.
Itâs fucking painful.
And beautiful.
Because this book is a goddamn thunderstorm, and it finally struck. It set fires that burned down trees and houses, but lit up a dark night. These characters grow so much and I grow with them. My mind is constantly thinking with every page I turned, trying to find some comfort when the book offered me pain, trying to find the wounds when I am offered mercy.
The plot is strong. The characters are stronger. All three of the main leads are thoughtfully crafted. You can see into their minds when they speak. You can feel every beat of their heart when they act. You can hear their goddamn fucking souls crying out with every atrocity they face and witness and commit. And the villain? I pity him. I pity him and hate him and love him. The villain is not a force of pure evil. The villain is broken. And some part of me wants him to win. The side characters are no slouch either. That small snippet of Alistar made my breath hitch and my heart harden. And Alistar is one of the lesser side characters, not as prominent as Harper or Dex, but he was there and I was not okay. And Keris. Just. Keris.
And the best part is that ALL of the characters change. They grow, for better or worse.
I donât think itâs for everyone because of its kind of sensitive content. War. Slavery. The brutality of mankind on full display. Pain and pain and pain with nothing to show for it. Failure and sadness and betrayal. Hurt that runs so deep it colours the soul. But if you can handle that kind of content, read it.
You kind of have to read the first two books, but the third one is worth it. The first two books are good, but this one is visceral. I felt empty when I finished, and I felt different when I finished. Not in any kind of profound way, mind you. This book didnât change my life or anything, but it did change me.
It made me think of things a little bit too deep for my usual shitposting fuckall veneer. It made me think of life and death, of duty and sacrifice, of pain and love and of people. Not everyone is black and white. Even the darkest of souls, the most monstrous of monsters, the most ruthless, heartless, cruel, vicious beasts have some good in them. They can love and they can mourn. They can fight to the death for what they believe in. And even the kindest people, the ones with bright smiles and gentle hands, the ones who are sunlight on a dark day, can be capable of wickedness.
I donât think about the duality of man that often. By that I mean never. On a subconscious, hidden part of me, I know that mankind is never black and white. Everyone is grey. Someone who hated you so deeply can love someone so much it aches. Someone you would bring the stars down for could be a hideous sinful creature. And this book brought that to the surface. It made me LOOK.
The series was always a little dark, but I underestimated how deep this cesspool of emotions ran. The line âSkies save me from the men in my life and all the things they think they knowâ did not, in any way, reveal just how much of a painful, beautiful, vicious thing this book was.
The prophecies made me wrack my head for an answer. And just when I think I have it in my grasp, something else gets revealed. âWhen the Butcher bows to the deepest love of all.â A love for kinsmen, for the Butcherâs people, for the Butcherâs family. And the Ghost? âThe Ghost will fall, her flesh will wither.â When the meaning, the TRUE meaning of that line got revealed, I lost my shit. This book yall. This fucking book.
My only major gripe about it is how much it used the word âbleedingâ as a swear word. Yâall call Keris âpiece of shit human beingâ Veturia the Bitch of Blackcliff but yâall wonât let Laia of Serra say the word fuck? Okay. But we ainât talking about that.
Fourth book is coming and boy fucking howdy I was not prepared for how much I want it. I want it so much I canât put it into words. What I can put into words, somewhat, is how much I feel for THAT scene. You know. THAT scene. Spoilers for the three things that destroyed me the most emotionally below
What we are talking about, is Helene Aquilla. She deserved none of the shit that happened to her. My beautiful, beautiful daughter deserved none of the pain, none of the suffering, none of the tears and the worry and the strife she was given. My daughter deserves to be HAPPY goddammit. And what? First you subject her to emotional trauma by having Marcus torture her sister over and over. You poison Livvy and subject Helene to a terror so visceral and vicious that she blames herself for putting Livvy in danger even though it wasnât her fault? You tease the Harper thing but then you take it away from her. Just like you take everything away from her.
How fucking dareth????? Helene deserves more than that??? Like the Harper/Helene ship has set sail and docked in the empty harbour of my heart. Their interactions are so goddamn GOOD and then you take everything away just like that. They kiss near the end of the book and all of a sudden, itâs gone. Itâs nothing.
That moment in Navium? Where Helene was almost killed but saved at the last and final moment? The scene where Harper urges Helene to trust him, to let him carry some of her burdens, to allow Harper to see part of her. âNeeding protection is not a weakness. Refusing to trust your allies is.â That quote ripped me the fuck apart. And I think it was this moment that the Helene/Harper ship truly and irrevocably burrowed within me. I will not let this go. I will, and I do not say this lightly, go down with this fucking ship. Even if it burns and drops into the bottom of the ocean as nothing but wasted wood, I will go down with this fucking ship because BRUH.
And Laia of Serra? First you have her captured. Then you have her see her people beaten over and over again. Then, and fucking THEN you have her discover her motherâs identity and the violence her mother has committed right before her meeting with Cook? You fucking do that shit?????? HELLO?????
That reveal destroyed me. Cook has been with us since the first book. She was something familiar. Amidst all the chaos and suffering, cook was the one single constant in the book. No matter how much the scene changed, or how the plot shifted, Cook was always there. Always present. And we learn that she is Laiaâs mother. And THEN she fucking dies. And Laia has to live the rest of her life knowing that her mother had been so close to her, and she never noticed. Knowing that her mother died to protect her. Like nani the fucko was up with that??????
But you know what really hurts about Cook? What really hammers the rusty nail of pain inside my long-dead heart?
Itâs the stutter.
For some goddamn fucking reason, when Cook said âYouâre just like your f-f-f-fath-â I FELT that. Some part of me recoiled. I wanted to put the book down. Because while I knew that she killed her daughter and husband, I never had to actually KNOW that she killed her daughter and husband. That scene was impersonal. That scene was much like how Mirra of Serra snapped the necks of the people she loved. Quick. Painless. I did not know that she killed her daughter and husband because when that scene happened, Mirra of Serra was just putting them to sleep. But then she stuttered. âL-L-L-L-Lis.â âF-fath-fathâ And she canât say it. Because their deaths haunt them.
Because she killed them.
That was the moment it sank in for me. She is not Mirra of Serra. She is Cook. Because Mirra of Serra died with Lis. Because Mirra of Serra died with her husband. Because Mirra of Serra died long ago and this was the moment I realised it. âCurse this world for what it does to the mothers, for what it does to the daughters,â Helene said. I fucking agree. Out of everyone in the cast, the world took the most from Cook. I will never get over that.
But you know the one thing that really destroyed me? The one thing that made me realise that this book IS merciless and this book WILL shoot for a killing blow?
LVIII
The penultimate chapter.
The bitch of a chapter that took whatâs left of my heart, raw and bleeding from the miraculous escape and alliance in the previous chapter, and just shattered it. It squeezed my raw, vulnerable, bleeding heart until it was nothing but dust.
Look at the chapter title.
LVIII: The Soul Catcher
Not Elias. The Soul Catcher.
Heâs not Elias anymore.
Elias is gone.
Heâs just the Soul Catcher now.
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2019 Fic Meme
My end of year fic meme, compiled from some old Livejournal fic memes that I do when I write stuff. I do this for fun, because I like looking back at what I have and havenât written, and what keeps popping up again.
Itâs meant to be silly fun, and if anyone else wants to do it, PLEASE DO. I donât want to tag anyone and put pressure on you in case you donât want to/donât think you have enough fic/hate memes.Â
Twilight
12 Days of Fic-Mas (Twilight, WIP) Day 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, bonus. Twelve days of fic extracts, previews, and drabbles focusing on Alice Cullen. Encompasses Folie A Deux, The Only Girl in the World, JessaminexAlice, Omens, Asylum, The Long Way Around, The Dark and the Unknown, Hybrid, Runaway, All These Broken Things, & The Unexpected Second Life of Mary Alice BrandonÂ
Shadow to Light  (WIP) (Alice/Jasper, AU Angst, PG) In 1918, Jasper lures the newborn known as Mary-Alice back to Monterrey. He is lost to her before it even begins.
Total number of completed stories: Lol.
Total word count: 33,304 words were posted.Â
Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what youâd predicted? Look, I just... 2019 was a wash in so many ways. I played a lot of Fortnite really badly. I would have loved to be able to say Shadow to Light was finished, or that I was posting Hybrid regularly or something, but I canât. I wish, wish, wish I had posted more but alas.Â
What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January? Outside of Twilight, I dabbled with some reader/Ben in the Umbrella Academy, and I was messing around with some Janet/Wanda in my personal MCU canon. As for Twilight, I think my stuff got a lot darker? Like, weâre down the rabbit hole here, and somehow Alice ended up being the most feared vampire in the Americas? Yeah.Â
And thereâs the Avengers/Twilight fic that is simultaneously three fics and one fic because I cannot make Executive Decisions and I canât decide if I like 1. Alice knowing Bucky from Before Jasper; 2. Alice knowing Hawkeye from when he was a kid in the circus and being how Natasha and Clint got out of Budapest, or 3. the Volturi hooking up with Hydra and ... yeah, I think this one is legit the most second-most one of the most embarrassing things Iâve ever written. (Iâve been filing today, and boy howdy have I written some actual shit.)
Whatâs your own favourite story of the year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you happiest? Thatâs like making me pick a favourite child. Iâm always so, so proud of Shadow to Light, and I love The Dark and the Unknown âverse, and Hybrid is just hanging out there, chilling and ugh. My babies <3Â
Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them? TwilightFicMas was a huge risk! I wasnât sure anyone cared unless I was posting more Shadow to Light, and people were SO nice and enthusiastic. So I guess the lesson is shut up and share more fic? Get out of your own head and spend time in the community because fandom isnât meant to be lonely?
Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the New Year? Iâm starting a graphic design business AND my masters in design in 2020, so I figure fic is going to be my downtime next year. Ideally, I would love to get STL finished, Memento Vivereâs sequel going, and have a few of my shorter pieces posted. I would really love to get some of my original stuff ready for publication, but Iâd be happy studying, running my business, and doing the fic thing for 2020. Â
My best story of this year: Thatâs up to the readers, I guess. Everyone seemed obscenely enthusiastic about The Unexpected Second Life of Mary Alice Brandon, though, and I was not expecting that at all - I was actually upset that I left the âdudâ fic for the last day of FicMas.Â
My most popular story: Shadow to Light. Everyone is so nice and enthusiastic and polite about that one. Iâm not used to it! Fandom for me is usually me sitting in a corner, doinâ my obscure thing, and maybe one or two people will read what Iâm working on.
Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion:Â Â I think everyone was super enthusiastic and nice about everything I posted this year. Maybe Folie A Deux? But like, that reflects more on me and the excerpts that I chose to post rather than the fic or the audience itself.Â
Most fun story to write:Â Â The Unexpected Second Life of Mary Alice Brandon because that Alice is so happy; I have this playlist for it that is super upbeat and funky.Â
Hybrid is fun because that Alice likes to torment Jasper. He understands Edward on a molecular level once Alice arrives.Â
Most Sexy Story: The Dark and the Unknown is the front-runner for that, because most of the sexy goings-on in Shadow to Light is very much focused on the psychological and emotional aspects rather than the physical.
Story with the single sexiest moment:Â The Dark and the Unknown. I am still deeply uncomfortable writing sex scenes, so this may be the only one I ever do. The implication of a blow job in Shadow to Light nearly kill me tbh.
The forest behind the school is silent; just her breathing, and the slight wind. No birds or wildlife, none of the hum of the traffic or of the school.
They donât undress more than necessary, her skirt slid to her hips, and he takes her roughly against a tree, flakes of bark falling into the dirt. She is hot and slick, and silent as he fucks her, his fingers digging into her hips, a growl rising in his chest. She is every bit his fantasy; the smell of damp flowers, the sweetness of her flesh, her willing supplication. His fingers tear through the lace of her tights as he grips her thighs, and the heels of her shoes must be bending, sheâs digging them into the backs of his legs so hard.
Most âholy crap, thatâs wrong, even for youâ story:  The Long Way Around makes Jasper and Aliceâs relationship pretty fucked up, and tbh I look back at it and really struggle with how dark it is and how dark Jasperâs character becomes. Thereâs a reason that Shadow to Light is the âofficialâ version - itâs a better balance, and I actually think Maria is a lot more interesting in Shadow to Light as a villain with complex relationships with both Jasper and Alice to the point where none of them really want to have to kill each other, but there is a lot of hate on both sides.Â
Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: Thatâs a hard question. Shadow to Light definitely did that because I had to consider what happened when you took Alice out of the picture, and how that changed what happened, and considered the inter-family relationships. So much of canon relies on Aliceâs visions that things canât just happen the same way.Â
Hardest story to write: Shadow to Light isnât easy because I have such a specific idea of how it plays out, how it âlooksâ in my head, and because Alice is so fundamentally different to canon. More innocent when it comes to normal interactions, and so controlled because it meant life or death - but sheâs still got to be Alice in a way that people can recognize. It also has to sound right? If I canât get the right turn of phrase for one scene, it has to be put aside until I can work it out.Â
 All These Broken Things is hard because I started it back in, like, 2014ish and my writing and understanding of the characters and canon has changed so much - plus there are a few sections that came to me quite early in the writing, and now sound really out of place, but are such a strong linchpin for the story that I have to rework them in. Itâs a good kind of hard, though, because Iâve improved so much, my ideas and goals are more refined.Â
Most disappointing: Omens is a little bitch, honestly. I started it for a fic contest and kept going to explore Aliceâs human life, and it doesnât quite feel like my writing? It needs reworking, and be a little less obvious because I think the âfour horsemen of the apocalypseâ is a good theme for a Human!Alice fic.Â
Easiest story to write: Depends on my mood; Hybrid is great when Iâm in kind of a âgirls kicking assâ mood and boot up my action girls playlist.
Biggest surprise: Hybrid started as a love story that was basically âyeah, letâs make this shit super dramatic and overwroughtâ, and turned into this actual story with a huge focus on family and relationships. I canât remember why I decided Aliceâs father had a husband except that I was thinking about small town âothernessâ, and LGBT+ people can and are still considered âotherâ in these spaces.Â
Then you add in Alice and Cynthia who are basically in the same boat but have been separated for their entire lives. Alice has knowledge in her corner, whilst having to fight through foster care, abuse, and hospital; whilst Cynthia has lived a very normal but privileged life as the daughter of a mixed-race same-sex couple in a very small town. I went full-hog with this, and added in an extended family, because I really hated how canon went balls-to-the-wall to isolate Bella from everyone, including Charlie.Â
Like, this thing is a monster, and whilst I plan to sit down and rewrite the outline (which dates back to 2016, and I hate the ending of), I stopped outlining at 65 freaking chapters.Â
Most unintentionally telling story:Â I think this question that still confuses me finally gets a decent answer in The Dark and the Unknown - Jasper is seeing most of it from his perspective, and there isnât a ton of dialogue. Iâve tried to avoid an info-dump, but itâs meant to be quite supernatural in tone, and focusing on vampire senses and gifts enhances that.Â
Story Iâd like to revise:Â All These Broken Things wins that one. Due to the age of the piece, there are some pacing and tone issues in later chapters that are the reason I havenât formally posted it.Â
Story I didnât write but will at some point, I swear: Oh man, I really want to finish A Thousand Years of Solitude, which is a Tanya fic. Iâm really happy with what Iâve got so far, but it sounds smarter and more layered than it really is, so Iâm kind of stuck.Â
Mad World because Romani!Alice is super sassy and taking 0% of Swan or Cullen bullshit - I think 90% of my fic is just me going, âyeah, thatâs not how normal people react.â And Iâm a sucker for gothic horror.Â
What else? Aww, Against A Wall which is AU Human Jasper coming from the shittiest home, and Alice finding him. Itâs meant to be short, and another one I have a really clear idea of how it needs to work.Â
And the one where Aliceâs gift is a sentient power that pushes her to follow it; that Bad Things happen if she doesnât; that Renesmee was always Endgame for Something, and Alice was a key piece to get that result. Or the one where Aro takes Alice as a âguestâ for a period because of Edward and Bella, and Aliceâs gift is basically broken.Â
Good times. I have like 5 years of fic on this computer, we could be here for awhile.Â
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(( other day i was like âman i love just swapping things between charactersâ and then proceeded to make a list of most of the aa cast and a list of my muses, randomize both, and get ideas that way
it had some galaxy brain ideas ngl but one pair was Miles & Kay and i started crying at the idea of them having a roleswap and Kay being the detective for a modified DL-6 Incident and being amazing to baby Miles, giving him a swiss roll, yknow that good stuff
so i spent most of today doodling stuff for that instead of studying for an exam thatâs wednesday
fun extra nonsense under the cut. no i will never be capable of not rambling ))
Kay & Miles essentially swap ages and their related dad death incidents swap years.
DL-6 still happens December 28 but in 2012 instead of 2001
Byrneâs death is, then, September 10, 2001.
Boy howdy will that make some surrounding ages buckwild, but like... idk how many of those bridges I actually have to cross. Where we can, though, other ages are kept the same. For example, Franziska is the same age as canon which, yes, means she is ~3yrs older than Miles in this verse
Kay is the one with the unsolved dad murder. The incident happens similarly to canon, but no one sees the investigation through to the truth and Calisto Yew escapes. Kay became a detective in the hopes that they may be able to reopen the case and find the culprit.
DL-6, instead, ends with the reveal of MvK as the culprit but, upon pulling a gun from his person, he is able to get away.
Yes, Franziska is still there. She is a stubborn 13-year-old and really wanted to see her papa in action. But then, whoops, he went and did a murder and then openly pulled a gun on a literal detective in front of his own daughter. What a way to find out your dad is a piece of shit.
Livia is still alive here and, immediately upon seeing Franziska, even through her own grief, is like âMust Mom This Childâ. She ends up talking to Marie and, given that Marie has literally never wanted to be a mother, she happily hands over custody. Liv does try to keep Marie abreast of Franziskaâs life.
Franziska sticks with being a prosecutor, having passed the Bar by the time of DL-6. However, Livia still pushed her into school because âyeah maybe you can recite every legal precedent set so far, but have u ever made friends and had a sleepover? no? get in school, learn how to make friends.â Through that, she takes a shine to gymnastics and dance. Overall, sheâs more well-rounded, though is still quite the extreme perfectionist.
Franziska wants to bring her father to justice, but feels a bit guilty that she finds it hard to completely hate him - despite everything.
Miles decides to continue on being a defense attorney. By the time he passes the Bar, being raised by Liv has made him so very, very chaotic. The drawn interaction between him and Kay is not a joke. Meet Miles âwhat is a little B&E in the pursuit of truthâ Edgeworth. Unlike canon Miles, he frames his acts less as âthe laws are unjust so they should be brokenâ and more âi just fucking wanna get to the bottom of this and obstacles are things to be overcomeâ He wonât use any illegal evidence in court of course, but does use it to get a better overall image of the case in his head. Â
Given all that, really Kay and Miles should never end up on the same case because them together is... a lot. But, well, sometimes life be like that. Franziska is like the single lawful Edgeworth and is constantly stressed by her mom and brotherâs Anticsâ˘.
Eventually, Kay, Franziska, and Edgeworth manage track down MvK and after fun hostage shenanigans, do arrest him. In turn, closer to canon MvK-style, Calisto is the defense attorney in a case she is secretly involved in / the culprit of and Franziska the prosecutor who discovers the truth. Â
#(( gotta admit - swapping two things hasnt led me wrong yet hjsfgsgdfjhdsghjf ))#just a witness | ooc#v { kay }; new twist on an old story | miles and kay swap#v { miles }; new twist on an old story | miles and kay swap#v { franziska }; new twist on an old story | miles and kay swap#courtroom sketch | ace arts#death mention
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Halloween special
Halloween has always been a special day for her. The decorations, the costumes, the freedom to scare people and not be called out - ah what joy did it bring her. On Halloween you could be whoever you liked without getting judged.
The young woman was craving out a pumpkin to put in her yard, tomorrow was the long awaited day. She smiled to herself happily and hummed along a tune.
âOne more pumpkin and Iâm doneâŚâ she whispered to herself as she lived alone.
Sometimes it would get lonely, living in a Victorian style house, some would even call it creepy. However, the silence and peace she got made up for it.
Her work was interrupted with a noisy creek in her home. A home as old as hers was bound to let out weird noises especially at night and over the years she got used to it, but now, however, her stomach turned. But something was off. Nonetheless, she shook it off and continued craving a scary face in the pumpkin.
Something creaked again, this time much louder and now in her living room. Cautiously she stood up and grabbed a knife from a nearby drawer as she was in her kitchen. Slowly she left the comfort of her kitchen and walked into the dining room.
It looked normal, nothing moved, nothing there. But from the archway she could see directly into her living room. But again she saw nothing abnormal. Cursing herself in her mind, the young woman went into the other room, knife still in hand. The moment she turned on the light, she almost dropped her knife.
In the far corner of the room, which is not visible from the dining room, on a vintage armchair sat a man. A handsome one for that. He hand short blond hair that shone in the dim light, the prettiest ocean blue eyes she had ever seen, making her jealous as she had blue eyes too. He was tall and quite well built, muscular but not over the top. The black shirt he was wearing clung to him perfectly, making his six pack well seen, his black jeans tight around all the right places, his long black coat perfectly completed his look. Charming, handsome - he was all those things. Maybe if he didnât bother her to hell and back, she would have hit him up. Sadly, he got on her bad side and all that drooling over him mowing his lawn without a shirt when he first moved next door, turned into hate.
âWHAT THE FUCK?!â She yelled out.
âNow now, Caroline, such classy ladies like you donât use such vulgar language,â he smirked drinking a glass of whiskey. âI hope you donât mind, I helped myself to your stash.â
No words left Carolineâs mouth for a moment. She looked as if sheâd seen a ghost.
âYouâre supposed to be dead!â
âWell but Iâm here,â he shrugged his shoulders, the devilish smirk not leaving his face.
âHow-how did you? How are you alive?!â She was baffled beyond belief.
He said nothing in return, but instead took another swing at his glass, the rings on his finger making a âclunkâ sound when he takes the glass.
âHow is this even possible? I fucking murdered you myself!â
It all started in June, when he had moved next door, the previous owner of the house had been missing for a year now and has been declared dead as they found his bloody clothes in the forest. It was not often the town of Forestground got newcomers, he was the first in a while. It just happened to be he had bought the house next to her. All the previous owners had all suffered the same fate - they always went missing. Some said the house was cursed. It was not like they were saints and it seemed like all of them got a stick up their ass. From not picking up their dogs poop from their neighbors yard and ignoring it when told, to having wild parties on a weekday, to blanketly damaging the property of their neighbors.
When the newcomer came, Caroline thought itâd be different. He was young, only a couple of years older than her, he was from a big city, fairly attractive, scrap that, very attractive and most importantly he was quiet and kept to himself. At first she loved her new neighbor, even pep talk herself into inviting him to dinner sometime, itâs been a long time since she dated. Everything turned sour just as quickly as it was sweet before. Turns out he really didnât give a shit about anyone or anything, not giving a damn fuck to anyone ( well her) when she politely complained. He mowed his lawn in the earliest of mornings, kept his windows open while blasting hard metal, never even said a good morning when he did see her going to work, fucked women who boy howdy were loud.
She tried, she really did. But thereâs so much one can handle. At first she politely asked him to keep it down, close his windows at least. Then she tried being passive aggressive. Then she filed a noise complaint. Then she called the police. Nothing got through him. Finally, after yet another evening while she was listening to classical music and relaxing reading a book, he decided to listen to metal with his windows open, on full blast, yet again. She had enough.
She marched to his house and pounded on his door. He opened it and seeing her at the other side he gave her a look that said âthis again?â. She didnât say anything, but barged into his house and went straight to the speakers unplugging them. He managed to say âhey! What the hell?!âbefore she walked right next to him with an angry face. She was always very short, but compared to him, she looked like a dwarf. His face turned into a scowl and he was about to tell her off as he was fed up with all her antics, however, before he could manage, the young woman grabbed the knife that was in his pocket and stabbed it into his chest, right where his heart was. His knees buckled and he fell backwards to the ground, instantly dead. That didnât stop her anger. She bludgeoned her knife in her over and over again, her hands now covered in blood. There must have been at least 20 stab wounds. Overkill -yes- but satisfying nonetheless.
She calmed down and smiled. Finally, she got her piece again. She was not stupid, she knew what to do, this wasnât her first time. First she cleaned herself up a bit, took a shower in the downstairs bathroom of her victim, washing off all his blood. Her pants made it without blood, her shirt not so lucky, so she went to his closet and took one of his, but because of their size difference it was like a dress on her, but âit will doâ she thought. Then she found where he kept his bleach and cleaning supplies. She cleaned off the knife and put it back in her pocket. She shut his eyes closed and rolled him to his side, blood seemed to be everywhere on the ground, but she knew how to handle it. She scrubbed it clean, not even a drop was left, although she couldnât save a small rug by the entrance, so she threw it in the fireplace and set it on fire, no one would even know it was there. The next part was the hardest. She had to drag his body in his newly built garage(as his house is also Victorian style just like hers) to put in his car. It was hard as he was very heavy, she couldnât just carry him so she had to drag him, which left a blood trail where his body hit the floor. Finally, she managed to get him into the passengers side, now what was left is to clean the blood, again. After she was done, Caroline drove his very expensive car to the forest lake. Considering it was so large that no one will find him there or even look there, they didnât with the others.When she got there, got out of the car and pushed it into the lake. The next day that is today she went about her day unbothered, just like nothing happened.
He once again flashed her his devilish grin.
âYou canât kill whatâs already dead. As they say in Game of Thrones, what is dead may never die again.â
âFine. Iâll be more violent next time, I guess I was too tamed.â
âTamed? You call nineteen stab wounds tamed?â
âTwenty.â
âWho cares? But I gotta give it to you, darling, no one has killed me in over twenty years, kinda tickles.â He chuckles pouring himself another glass of alcohol.
Sheâs speechless, she hasnât been in a long time.
âI would have made myself appear earlier, but I saw you craving pumpkins and fairly I havenât seen you in just jeans and sweater in like ever. I gotta say, those black jeans make your ass look fantastic.â
âWhen did you-?â
âI was already conscious when you pushed me in the lake, my wounds have already healed, but then I drowned, so technically you killed me twice.â
âThen why are you only here now?â
âDarling, my car, which I remind you costs a fortune, was at the bottom of a goddamn lake in the middle of fucking nowhere.â
âHow long have youâve been dead for?â She finally asks slowly catching on.
â50 years.â
âDamn. I guess I missed the funeral.â Caroline regains her usually sassy self.
âAh, there it is, the classy ladies snarky remarks.â
âGo to hell.â
âDarling, with you I'm already there.â
She had grabbed the nearest thing on her left, which was a vase, and threw it at him, her anger got the best of her. He dodged it, the vase hitting the wall and shattering, bits and pieces spilt on the floor.
âWow there, love. You donât want to hurt someone, now do you?â
âOne more retort and youâll regret it.â
âWhat are you going to do? Kill me?â
She was so pissed off by him that she wanted to just rip her hair out and he was just staring at her, clearly satisfied with what he was doing. But can you blame him?
âIâll- Iâllâ
âAnd Iâll go to The police, I still have the clothes plus my car is in the bottom of a fucking lake, once they start going down there, theyâll find all those people you got rid off.â
âFine. What do you want?â
âNothing. Everything.â
âUghâ she rolled her eyes.
He threw his arm around her shoulders.
âThis is going to be fun.â
And so an unlikely pair of murdering people were born.
#yes i know its november#ive just finished it#i am ashamed#but hey#au#noel aijima#caroline vinson#caroline callas#halloween#dark#spooky#story#murder#blood#phychopath
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episode 8 thoughts
i was gonna watch later, since iâve got other things to do, but i burnt the shit out of my hands making hot chocolate like an idiot so i watched an episode first LOL.Â
this episode starts out with that really strong fairy tale scenery i absolutely adore, with yusaku and ai trying their hardest to get blue angel to wake up.
i seriously could talk about the imagery in this scene for days lmao. i love the sleeping beauty aesthetic, but i also really love the colors. LV goes through so many different color palettes through the series, but i love the purples and blues of this area here. iâm not sure if the intention was to make blue angel seem like she was meant to be there, while in contrast playmaker stands out due to his hair, but i seriously replayed this section twice because it looked so nice.Â
i have a lot to say about this episode, and it will also be my most screenshot heavy post so far lol, so once again, buckle up!Â
this episode starts to really build up yusaku as a character - his sense of justice, his core values, etc etc. on top of that, it takes its time to flesh out akira, and to show his worse qualities, which weâll get into in a minute.
first, though, is one of my favorite awkward exchanges in the series lmao:
iâm surprised he even caught onto what akira was getting at, tbh with yâall. vrains started out ship teasing yusaku/aoi really hard these episodes, but drop it almost completely up until the minimal tease we get in s3, which i find really funny. i was always really invested in them becoming friends, though, so while iâm happy we had that happen in s3, i wouldâve really liked to see it happen earlier. not this early, though - yusakuâs nowhere near ready for that.
I HAD TOTALLY FORGOTTEN VYRA WAS HERE. yugioh hair makes it known that sheâs going to be an important character, but i had really completely forgotten she was working as one of aoiâs doctors during this part lmao. i love this so much, actually.
moving onto everyone talking shit about blue angel on forums and stuff. this kinda shit:
would be really awful to deal with. itâs very real, though - cancel culture, anyone? but seriously, this is so brutal. on top of that, does this imply that sheâs never really lost before? she is the number 2 charisma duelist in LV, so i wouldnât be terribly surprised if that meant that she hadnât really lost since starting to make it big as an idol. once again showing off how good of a duelist aoi actually is, even if the show makes her lose a lot. tbf, her loss/win ratio isnât that bad looking at the other main girls - 5 wins, 5 losses on screen, and considering the kind of opponents she faced (soulburner, bohman, ai), thatâs seriously not bad.
next up we get the chess pieces again, and boy howdy, does this conversation make me seethe.
i understand itâs partially a cultural difference thing, but i canât help but get angry about it LOL.Â
i didnât remember how often the chess pieces were actually utilized in these first few episodes, either. i guess i can understand why people were irritated they were just dropped, but i donât really see them as a plot point, more like... just a kind of weird way to run a company? just show your faces and have normal meetings like everyone else, yâall donât have to be so extra.
the akira/emma meeting is nice because it shows you more of emmaâs character, but it also gives you more of akiraâs stupider (and ruthless) side.
you donât see him like this very often, but honestly, when you think about all the unsavory jobs he was doing to keep him and aoi afloat way back when, it kind of makes sense. even if he was originally a gentle person, you donât last doing... any of the jobs heâs done, being that way. even a higher up in a company like SOL tech would have to be a bit harsher to get to that point imo. i donât see a lot of people talk about this side of akiraâs character tbh which makes me kind of sad.
also, seriously, heâs an idiot. how did he arrive at this conclusion? when he saw that it was aoi who was baiting him into the duel? no matter what direction i approach this from, i canât understand how he ended up on that conclusion lol.
also, the worst father ever award goes to....
seriously! i hate that man so much lmao. to say that directly to your own child, on top of everything else...
itâs a nice look into revolver, too, though you wouldnât know it at first glance. his reply says everything, though. he fully accepts his role in his fatherâs life and has an incredibly toxic attachment to him, and wants his approval more than anything. we never see him get physically abused by kogami or anything of the sort, but you canât deny the mental anguish he mustâve been going through in order to keep on his fatherâs good side.Â
i know a lot of people like to say that revolver is kind of not a great guy, seeing the tower of hanoi arc, and how he probably shouldâve went to jail etc etc but really, he was manipulated hard core. and extremely suicidal. i could really talk a lot about this all day, but iâll cut myself off and instead say how much i love how vrains sets up revolver as a character. this, combined with âiâll fulfill your wishes, fatherâ from episode 3 gives you his motivations nice and clearly, but this specific scene also gives a bit of a hint as to where his character arc goes and what he has to work through. just thinking about this makes me so excited to get to 116 again lmao.
anyways, though. another excellent exchange comes up. seriously, lmao, ai being like âwaaaah thatâs illegal !!!!â and kusanagiâs just very casualÂ
makes me laugh every time i see it. they are criminals, even if what theyâre doing is for the greater good. theyâre not exactly innocent here lmao.
then thereâs the talk about the virus infecting her, and itâs a nice way to bring up how that works before the another arc comes up in.. a couple of episodes, right? tbh itâs the arc i remember the least about, so iâm looking forward to rewatching it.
actually though, the idea of viruses in LV being able to infect someoneâs body is so, so interesting. i really, really wish they had done more with the whole LV/rl merge idea, but guess iâll just have to write more fanfic instead lol.
i mentioned at the beginning of this post we get into yusaku as a character more here, and this is one of the lines that really made him interesting to me originally:
he has such a strong sense of justice, but what sets him apart from other ygo protags is that he is not defined by it. heâs not the classic, stereotypical do-gooder who gets caught up in something and has to make it right, his justice is more so that he is not okay with seeing other people hurt because of what happened to him. his justice is driven by his trauma, almost entirely.
revolver even brings it up this episode:
where he talks about how some rando wouldnât have done them any good because it wouldnât have been public enough. yusaku doesnât really care about the little people, not in the same way, say, yugi would. itâs not that he wants them to be hurt or see them get hurt or anything, itâs just that unless it effects him directly, itâs not on his radar. but once he gets involved, he feels fully responsible.
while he didnât plant the hanoi virus into her, he probably knows it was to intentionally draw him out thanks to ai (and the fact that he beats them up all the time). he feels fully responsible for what happened to her, and heâs prepared to do what is needed to make it right again.
i really like yusaku for this. i find those kinds of characters really interesting, and yusaku is no exception.Â
we get the whole emma/blue angel/yusaku scene, which is pretty sick tbh looking at it again - just shoot a church straight up from the ground for dramatic effect! - and iâll bring up more of akiraâs ruthlessness here.
seriously, this is not a line from someone who is just angry about his sister. and itâs also him being fuckin DUMB. playmaker willingly lets himself get caught into your trap, and he tells akira straight up what he has to do to save his sister - no sugar coating it, no trying to make it cryptic or difficult despite being caught in that hand and in that trap. heâs incredibly honest, and akira still does this lmao.
then itâs probably the wildest turn of events in all of vrains:
whereâs that post thatâs like, âremember when playmaker gets caught in a gothic looking church while heâs getting tormented by a giant demon hand controlled by his classmateâs brother and then his rival who he hasnât met yet shows up in a lightning bolt to save himâ? bc really LMAO what the fuck. it was so hype watching it the first time, and itâs still awesome watching it back.
and why is this never really??? brought up again later???? and when he leaves in that datastorm to go prepare to fight playmaker LMAO i know itâs supposed to look cool but the animation is so dorky, i love it.Â
more on yusaku, though. before playmaker goes to fight revolver, who heâs been gearing towards for awhile now, we get this exchange:
to which playmaker responds with âi donât hate you. i only hate the knights of hanoiâ. which is another really good moment for his early characterization and very, very consistent with his backstory that we find out in about 12 episodes.
everyone who wasnât involved in the LI in any way just... exists to him. theyâre completely neutral. if something happens to them because of him, he feels directly responsible, because he feels like he got them tangled up in a mess that nobody should be in. i mentioned that briefly earlier, but this really drives that point home.
he doesnât even hate akira for torturing him mere minutes ago. because heâs been through worse. because akira was doing what he thought was right by his sister, no matter how stupid he was being.
and even more so than that, heâs not seeing this as fighting for akira. he feels responsible for blue angel, but also, hereâs his chance to fight revolver. itâs a two birds one stone situation here for him.Â
anyways, iâm gonna stop myself there lol this is really long OOPS. gotta take care of a few things, and then onto the first rev vs playmaker duel!
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I drabbled.
Itâs half-inspired by @nono6thebleachfanââs role-reversal challenge, although itâs not a reversal of a canon scene, itâs a reversal of this ~amazing~ piece of art by @acompletenonentityâ that I have been thinking about all weekend.
Itâs full of blood and cussing, because Inuzuri, but on the bright side, this is the first story Iâve managed to write without Renji dropping the f-bomb, so thatâs something.
Edit: Itâs on AO3 now
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Adding Injury to Insult
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It was generally acknowledged by the indigent youth populating the 78th district of South Rukongai that Abarai Renji did not know when he was licked.
This was not true. Renji knew very well when he was licked. He just also knew that even if a guy licked you, he might think twice about licking you again, providing you caused him enough hurt on the way down.
Renji wasnât the biggest guy in Inuzuri, he sure wasnât the strongest or the toughest, and he wasnât a contender for the meanest by any stretch, but most people knew that messing with him wasnât worth it, by and large.
Kozuki Kohei wasnât most guys.
He was kinda big and somewhat tough and strong, but mostly he was just mean.
Last Tuesday, Oyama, the blacksmith got a load of pig iron ingots and agreed to pay Renji and Gorou 500 kan each to unpack and stack them. Â Kozuki had been hanging around, allegedly perusing the knives, but mostly just bothering Oyamaâs pretty daughter working the counter. She had been ignoring him, but then Gorou said something that made her laugh, and Kojima blew his stack. Renji was a few years younger than Kozuki, but he was a few inches taller, and he also knew how joints worked. He locked the dirtbag in a full nelson and frog-marched him out the door, just as all 6 feet and 280 pounds of Oyama was coming in. Kozuki slunk off and Renji got an extra 500 kan for his efforts.
Then, yesterday, when Renji was standing outside the lumber yard, trying to look like a guy whoâs good at moving heavy stuff for cheap, Kozuki caught him from behind, smashed his head into a wall, and kicked him in the stomach while he lay on the ground seeing stars. Then he kicked Renji in the kidneys a few times for good measure.
Renji had gotten licked, and he knew it.
So, he was staying home today. The rest of the gang was respecting his privacy in this difficult time, and had made themselves scarce. Renji assumed they were probably trying to steal rotgut from the cellar of Old Man Tadaâs bar again. There was a big rotted-out portion on one wall of the squat, or at least there used to be before Renji had spent all morning ripping it out. He had a big piece of thatched reeds that Rukia had made (she was clever at things like that), and was trying to figure out the best way to join it in, when Tsubaki stuck his curly-haired head in the doorway.
âHeeeeeeeeyyyy, Renji, whatâs going on?â
âMade a hole in the wall. Fixinâ it.â
âLetâs go down to the river!â
âRight now? Iâm busy.â
âItâs so hot, you should take a break.â
âItâs not that hot, and if I donât get this done, with my luck, itâll rain tomorrow.â
Tsubaki glanced nervously behind him. âDo we have anything for dinner? We could try to get some fish.â
âGo ahead, man. I told you, Iâm busy.â
âI! Am! The! Strongest! Girl! In! The! World!â
Renjiâs gaze drilled into Tsubaki.
âIt was her idea,â he stammered.
Rukia stumbled into the squat, supported on either side by Gorou and Tasuke.
Renji made a choked sound in his throat.
Her entire face was covered in blood, except for one stripe down the side of her nose where a matted chunk of her hair had diverted its flow. One of her eyes was swollen shut. Bruises darkened her arms and legs, and she didnât seem to be putting any weight on her left foot.
âWhat have you done?â he managed.
âI kicked Kozuki Kohei in the nards, just for you!â
Renji pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes. âAnd what were you clowns doing?â he demanded of the others.
âWitnessing her glory,â the other boys echoed dutifully.
Rukiaâs grin was large and white against the bloody mask of her face.
âDoesnât look like he got the worst of it,â Renji observed, crossing his arms across his chest.
âOh, he did! I also blew out his knee, punched him in the throat and gave him a good poke in the eye.â She held up a rather large hank of brown hair. âAnd I got this.â She rubbed the back of her neck in a very Renji-like gesture. âThe guys kicked him a bunch once I downed him, too.â
âHow did you manage this feat?â
âGot the drop on him when he was taking a piss in the alley.â
Renji squeezed his eyes shut and started counting.
âRenji?â Gorou asked timidly. âAre you gonna yell at Rukia?â
âOf course I am! Now you assholes clear out unless you want some, too!â
Gorou and Tsubaki am-scrayed immediately. Tasuke desperately wanted to join them, but realized that Rukia would fall over if he let go of her. âUh, uh,â he stammered. Then, Gorou ran back in with a large stick, which he propped up under Rukiaâs arm, grabbed Tasuke, and departed again in a cloud of dust.
Renji tapped his foot impatiently.
The triumphant look immediately dropped from Rukiaâs face. She swallowed. âRenji,â she said, very, very quietly.
He stepped close to her, glowering.
âEvery part of my body hurts so bad,â she said in the same tiny voice.
âI can tell,â he replied, his voice just as small and soaked with sympathy.
âI donât want the other guys to know.â
âI know. Iâll get rid of âem.â
Renji then proceeded to stomp around the squat, yelling at the top of his lungs. âYou careless blockhead! You deranged numbskull!â For every insult, he made a silly face at her so she would know he didnât mean it. âWhat were you thinking? Do you know how much trouble youâve caused for us? You harebrained loon!â
When he was running low on insults, he stuck his head out the door, where the three boys were very obviously enjoying his tirade. âLook, you cowardly knobs, canât you tell Iâm havinâ an intimate moment with Rukia here? Be useful for once in your shithole lives! Iâm probably gonna use up all the clean water cleaning her up, can you dogturds go get some more from the river and start a fire so we can boil it?â
Tsubaki and Gorou hightailed it toward the river, but Tasuke hung back for a minute. âDonât go too hard on her, Renji, she did it for you.â
âI know,â he replied softly.
Tasuke gave a small smile, and dashed off after the others.
Renji sighed and headed back inside.
Rukia was looking very sad, indeed.
He piled up all their blankets, his own on top, and helped her sit down on it, putting her crutch off to the side. She might need it for the next few days.
Next, he surveyed their rag pile. It was not exactly overflowing. Well, Gorou could use a new tunic, and if they could snag one, they could use his old one to replenish the pile. Renji picked out a half dozen and dampened a few of them in the water bucket.
Rukia winced as he started dabbing at the blood on her face. He started around her good eye.
âYou think your footâs broken?â
âNaw, just twisted real bad.â She stared up at the ceiling casually. âTwo of my fingers might be, though.â
Renji probed her hairline gently, looking for the source of all the blood. It was a long, shallow trench that started at the edge of her left eyebrow and crossed upward toward the crown of her head. âHe caught me with the edge of those stupid brass knuckles he wears,â she scowled.
âOh, Rukia,â he sighed. âYouâre the only one of us without a hideous face, you should be more careful with yours.â
âMaybe I was just tryinâ to fit in.â
He smiled fondly at her. âWhyâd you go after that loser? He got his revenge on me, he woulda left us alone.â
âWell, heâs definitely gonna leave us alone now,â Rukia snorted. âI saw his dick while he was pissing, and when I left him bleeding in the dirt, I told him if he touched any of us again, Iâd tell everyone how small it was.â
Renji took a deep, cleansing breath through his nose, and thanked providence, once again, that Rukia was on his side.
Rukia sighed. âItâs not fair. OW!â
âSorry, sorry! No, nothingâs fair. You wanna talk about the sky being blue or water being wet next?â
âItâs always you.â
âHmm?â
âYouâre always the one who gets trashed like this. Any one of us starts a fight, youâre always the one who finishes it.â
Renji made a pained face. âIâm the biggest. Itâs only fair.â
âYou just said nothinâs fair! And itâs not like you did anything special to get that tall, it just happened.â She narrowed her eyes at him. âRight?â
âYou keep asking me that. No, I didnât do anything special to get this tall, I swear.â He paused. âAlso, you know you anâ me heal faster than the other guys.â He sucked his teeth. âIâm pretty sure Iâve taken some hits that coulda killed one of them.â
Rukia nodded gravely. âYeah. I thought you were a goner that time you took a brick in the kisser, but here you are, your one brain cell still apparently still working.â She blew some air out through her nose. âIâm strong, too, though. I might be small, but I can take a lot.â
âI know,â he agreed, surveying her face. It was pretty clean now, except for that bloody, matted chunk of hair. Rukia would probably just tell him to lop it off. âI just⌠donât want you to.â
She scoffed. âWell, I donât like seeinâ you take hits for me any better!â
âWhatâre we gonna do about it?â
Rukia was quiet for a long time as Renji started winding his biggest rag tightly around her ankle. âYouâre starting to get a reputation, you know.â
âYeah, I know.â
âMaybe Iâll get one, too. Inuzuri Rukia: Mean as hell. Finds you in the night if you mess with her friends.â
âItâs accurate, anyway.â
âYouâre big and Iâm mean, we make a pretty good team. Scarier together.â
âI donât think either of us is real scary lookinâ right now.â
She wiggled her fingers experimentally and winced. âEh, we lived. We can be scary again tomorrow.â
He tied off the bandage. âBut speakinâ of scaring people, tell me about every last squeal that came out of that shit-stain while you were givinâ him the business.â
âBoy, howdy,â replied Rukia. âYouâre gonna love this.â
As it turned out, he did.
~end
(hey, if you liked this, you should read my other fic on AO3)
#bleach fanfiction#renruki#renji abarai#rukia kuchiki#inuzuri#rukongai#misspent youth#my fanfic#drabbles#rukia is extremely rude i'm sorry#people think renji married up and they are incorrect
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BACK AT IT AGAIN WITH MIGHTY ENDGAME REWATCH MEMECEPTION 2: MEMIER AND CEPTIONIER
yes i HAVE been keeping up with the rewatch but i HAVENâT been keeping up with typing up my notes from the rewatch but BOY HOWDY I AM RUNNING OUT OF TIME ARENâT I.
Ok so here we go with Guardians 2 --
today we mourn the passing of an icon. farewell old marvel logo. ye shall be missed.
MISSOURI. EARTH. 1980.
so whose music taste does starlord actually have? his own? his momâs?Â
My Bossâs, in fact????
be it known that i work retail and the station we listen to is basically the guardians soundtrack which might sound neat but basically all these songs are dead to me now.
digitally enyouthened kurt russell must be mentally re en agened so i don't go mad like some sorry sucker faced with a lovecraftian horror tbh
34 YEARS LATER
which means 2014 confirmed which means we're actually watching this out of in-universe chronological order
our bad
this is the REAL opening. slipping back into their flashback ways i see.
Is groot dancing or fighting? both?
i love that all the action is out of focus, what we really want is Cute Groot Content and they know that.
âITâS THE SAME THICKNESS FROM THE INSIDE AS FROM THE OUTSIDEâ they said
in deliberate defiance of anthony tedward âyou know the story of jonah and the whale?â stark
none of this info is important or relevant
good hermit look nebula. solid hermit attire.
how does no one figure out the obvious battery thing faster? theyâre not even out of the hall when he tips his hand
awwwwhwhwhh groot
~this oneâs for the ladies~
i honestly canât remember the context for that note iâm gonna assume that peter took his shirt off
itâs worth noting that drax is actually sneaky
âi will kill youâ
all the ppl with siblings: *nod sagely* solid sibling interaction there.
i do love that itâs like an arcade
Just In Case You Were Wondering, The Guardians Have Not Grown Up At Alllllllllll.
sooooooooo drax going out the back -- that was the plan?
And drax is dead now, right?
and gamora?
and nebula?
and.... everyone?
BERHART
Gamora: LOOK AT THIS!!!!!!!!!
all of us: mood.
nebula is also very bad at lying.Â
Kurt Russell is here
âyeah my name is very on the nose. Thatâs comics for ya!â
CONTRAXA
The Roommate: Thereâs something extra unsettling about robot prostitutes not sure what...
prostitute: *turns herself off*
The Roommate: Yep. itâs that.Â
thatâs extremely rude of you rocky
honestly how dare this movie make me feel feelings about yondu
The Roommate: oh hey itâs laserface
me: itâs taserface actually
The Roommate: ........ thatâs so much worse?
this carpet gag deserves more appreciation
Star-Lordâs âITâS HAPPENINGâ face is just
Yup, thatâs ur dad
Query: is Mantis one of Egoâs kids?
âwhat if this man is your hasselhoff?â
git ur daddy issues
git ur daddy issues here
hang on why was gamora so pissed if they can just grow new ship parts no problem???
Mantis is so cute but more importantly
HER EYE MAKEUP GAME IS ON! POINT!
i love rocket, always, but especially here with all the singing
but not that
nope
donât like that
Just gonna kevin mccalister this whole forest huh
these guys are also dead, yeah?
yeah.
EGOâS PLANET
good job drax excellent grasp on humility
heâs built a museum to himself here
âyes, i have a penis.â
Gamoraâs FACE here omg
what did Ego look like? pre Kurt Russell? did he go around seducing alien ladies with tentacle faces all the while looking like Kurt Russell? seems unlikely, since he can make himself look like Whatever. more likely heâs just pasted the Kurt Russell face over everything now because heâs got his Kurt Russell kid here, right?
A Very Smart Question We Never Get A Real Answer To.Â
literally the most unrealistic thing in this movie: how could anyone be mean to baby groot?
can we take a moment to acknowledge that this is all like hella hella dark?
y i k e s
Ok but if Nebula doesnât kill thanos then What Is The Point.
The Roommate: Peter and his dad play catch is so predictable iâd have felt robbed if they didnât tbh. it HAD to be in slow mo.
me: ....
me: i just thought they were throwing it real slow
we still donât have an answer here incidentally
Mantis is at least an adopted sibling then, right?
âNo Gef. Itâs Too Adorable To Kill.â
them all chanting mascot is terribly on the nose
this sequence made the full funny loop. went from funny to not funny and then pushed on through back to hilarious
They knew about the fin? and just?? Left it???
EXCELLENT use of slo mo
Yondu: Too Powerful to Live
Kraglin: Keepin it tight in those leather pants
TBF i donât even know how she WALKS in those shoes much less dances in them
The Roommate: This scene makes me sad now... given...
Me: AH GEEZE
âyou like when iâm the weak one.â
me and The Roommate: *exchange looks*Â
Me and The Roommate: *sweating*
Me and The Roommate: sheâs one of us.
Gamora: *my sister senses are tingling*
all the ppl with siblings: *nod sagely* Solid Sibling Interaction There.
stop giving me feelings about these characters That Is Rude
Nebula and Bucky would get along i feel
âIâM GONNA MAKE SOME WEIRD SHITâ - fandom
I love this very Non Romantic Relationship
PETER are you even LISTENING to what heâs SAYING???
aw man eyes Doing That is never a good sign
y i i i i i k e sÂ
oh hey itâs pooter
groot even pukes adorably wtf
this film gets real fast real fast actually
ego
ego thatâs gross
thatâs gross ego
Gamora: NO ONE MAKES ME FEEL MY OWN FEELINGS HOW DARE U
âweâre familyâ
iâm sobbing
Peter goes from zero to FUCK YOUÂ in .00002 seconds i love that sm
we love this even more
for reasons.
âThat was Bein Funny.â
nOT to ME
really? all this for like? three batteries?
batteries are actually a real #theme throughout this piece arenât they.
i LOVE THIS SONG
superhero landing
âi donât fly the arrow with my head, boyâ
âyeah. i murder from the heart.â
You know, tbh yondu and gamora had to die for p much the same reason
too powerful
aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Y I K E S
 ugh itâs like heâs being de-Raider-ized
i just donât like it okay
i would like to thank whoever was responsible for cutting that line off mid-schmaltz
again, a+ music cue
AND IF YOU DONâT LOVE ME NOW!!
damn. iconic.
tho how dare this movie tbh
this is somehow a hard turn
NOPE DONâT CARE FOR THAT NO THANK YOU
listen this is a very sweet scene completely ruined because
DADDY
yonduâs accent? not a good enough reason to say daddy in this context
gosh i came out here to have a good time and iâm honestly feeling so attacked right now.
AND THEN THIS SHIT HOW DARE???????
[awkward sibling hug]
all the ppl with siblings: *nod sagely* SOLID SIBLING INTERACTION THERE.
this song is.
very rude.
Can we talk about how drax is the team dad? like. Drax is everyoneâs actual literal dad -- SLEEPY BABY GROOT
single rocket tear is too much
i say to this entire end sequence:
R U D E
these end credits are unfuckingbeatable tho
#The Mighty Pre Endgame Rewatch#gotg2#gonna try and get more of these typed and posted tomorrow#WISH ME LUCK
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