Tumblr nest of GirlWhoWrites (AO3 & FF.Net) aka Lexie. Writer of many fics and owner of an extremely larger and unreasonable amount of W.I.Ps. Takes everything 0% seriously. I love that word. Forever. I love that forever doesn't exist, but we have a word for it and use it all the time. It's beautiful & doomed. Viv Albertine
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re-reading shadow to light because what do you mean there are people that are actually that genius???? (also im so glad you're still active, may i ask when will be the next update?)
Hi anon
This was so lovely of you to write.
I am still active, just had a really dreadful year and still trying to find my footing with time to write; I really should have gone on official hiatus for 2024.
So whilst I'm not promising anything, I'm very very hopeful that updates on all my fics will occur before the end of the year.
Thank you for your message, when I'm buried under a chapter that just will not work, it makes me feel so much better that readers think I'm doing something right.
#<3#asks#stl jar of hearts and variable stars are the fics in question#beautlilies had to talk me out of a scene in the new chapter of stl because it was simply Incorrect and she's right and now i have to fix i#i'm the dr cox banging my head on the desk gif fyi
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This is your signal to let yourself write the deranged, uncomfortable, disgusting fiction that you've been thinking about.
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have we tried sexualizing the grotesque, my liege?
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god grant me the strength to write my weird porn, the serenity to write my weird porn and the wisdom to write my weird porn
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@sonyawix Alas, my exile was self-imposed until I wrote something. Even Whumptober didn't produce anything worthy of seeing (gave me some future ficlet ideas that will be fun though). I do not deserve tumblr-time when I apparently decided to just not write at all during 2024.
So I skipped ahead and started on this year's Ficmas offerings instead (now is the time to make your demands), and I always make sure I have some new Anathema for you! We have a little scene from Ch 3ish, for the second 'official' meeting of the Cullens.
Adding Demon Jasper and Feral Jasper/Mary-Alice to the upcoming list. Honestly, I was not expecting Demon Jasper to make a blip on anyone's radar, I am delighted people enjoyed that verse. And I love that My Nonsense (anything involving Mary-Alice) sparks joy for anyone.
So I offer up this part of Anathema, and hope it sparks joy. One thing I am loving about Anathema is that the first half pretty much outlined itself. We love fics that have direction and aspiration.
I always love hearing from you, Sonya, thank you for the message <3
Notes: This was an experimental scene to fix the pacing of the first meeting vs the Cullens getting involved with the Brandons. I wanted to establish that Edward and Alice will have a rapport in this fic, and to set more of the scene of how the Cullens do end up in cahoots with the rest of the Council. And to lay a lot of groundwork for Alice getting to know the Cullens as individuals.
There's a fairly robust few scenes between the first meeting and this that I'm not happy with yet. Even these parts are extremely rough. I've also been doing a lot of research into supernatural creatures and cryptids around North America to try and work on world-building a little more (some of this is a throwback to the OG draft of Afterglow which was fun). So any details that don't entirely match up have been noted and will be fixed when this gets posted on AO3.
--
The second time we officially run into the Cullens is more than three weeks later. And it goes about as well as anything else in my life does as the unluckiest person to ever live.
This is one excursion that I am allowed out of the house for - other than taking Dulcie's purse to her at the salon, and riding my bike to pick up Chinese food for dinner, I have been house-bound. It's almost as if Freddie - and Sue, for that matter - are certain that if I am not under full supervision, I'll run away to the Cullen house to join them all in whatever debauchery vampires get up to all day.
Which, from Dulcie's gossip, seems to be mostly work at the hospital for Dr Cullen, and going to high school for the 'kids'. Very scandalous. But despite me pointing out that I didn't know (precisely, yet) where the Cullen house is and that sneaking around both Forks Hospital and the high school were only going to draw the attention of gossips and probably Charlie Swan in an official capacity, Freddie kept both eyes on me.
I was going a little stir-crazy - not only had I been on house arrest, we'd only had one 'client', and he'd just been placed in cold storage whilst private preparations were made. So when Charlie summoned us all to the backwoods for a meeting, I wasn't complaining. Even tramping through the mud of the woods to have a secret clandestine meeting was better than cleaning or sitting around the apartment.
But no one was expecting Charlie Swan to be standing in our clearing with three figures. Three figures that nearly had me running back to the car. Lamia. Freddie's hand clamped down on my shoulder firmly; not to be cruel, but to protect me - showing any kind of aversion to a lot of the creatures that passed through was dangerous. It provoked some of them to strike. And lamia loved young girls.
"These three were passing through," Charlie Swan said uncomfortably. "Left a mess in Port Angeles."
"Very gracious of Mister Swan to introduce us." The tallest was over six feet, with waist-length dark hair. But like all old Lamia - and there were more than you'd think, honestly - she was unnaturally thin, her skin bleached, like she'd been forgotten in the sun for too long. Her hair looked sharp and brittle, like fine wire. And as she spoke, a serpentine hiss caught on the tails of her words. The only spark of colour was the dried-blood colour of her eyes and sockets - even her lips and tongue were stained black. Her fingernails were unnaturally long and looked more like bone than anything resembling keratin.
"What kind of mess?" Harry Clearwater said flatly. He wasn't subtle; he'd brought a shotgun.
The two younger Lamia looked down, as if regretful.
"We fed." The words are simple but every adult around me visibly recoils. I'm kind of numb to it - maybe it would be more horrific if I was older.
But the way that the Lamia speaks - almost smugly, as if to intentionally upset everyone here - annoys me beyond explanation. Odds are that anyone they fed on was young enough to have a mom and dad waiting at home for them, worried. That they wouldn't even get simple news that they were gone - they'd have to wait weeks for DNA testing to confirm who this bony old bitch had torn into.
"You need to go." Everyone swings around to look at me, and I'm kind of surprised I spoke as well. My words sound polite but firm, and there's a distinct undercurrent there I barely recognize in myself. I don't think I've ever spoken that way to anyone in my life.
"Excuse me, child?" Her eyes narrow.
//
I can see it happening as if it's in slow-motion; Harry lifting the shotgun, one of the younger Lamia reaching out for him with a look that meant someone was going to die; Charlie Swan had his service weapon out and I just… stepped forward and shoved the monster backwards.
It was gross, honestly. Between their age and their powers, their clothing is essentially a second flesh-covered skin that crackles under my hands. Their actual skin is so thin that I could feel, for that split second, all their organs churning. The smell of blood was overpowering, and I just wanted her to break into a million pieces.
Except...
//
"That was the most disgusting thing I have ever lived through," I half-shrieked as I made my way back to the meeting place. Sue followed with the flashlight, offering platitudes. "Why do these creatures always decide to be disgusting around me? I'm not going to be able to salvage any of those clothes."
"She could have killed you, Alice. You should have left her alone." Sue's words aren't convincing; the look on her face when I had stepped forward meant she saw imminent death was coming for both Harry and Charlie before I intervened.
"Well, she succeeded in murdering that pair of jeans," I said crankily, turning into the clearing. "…Oh."
The Cullens had shown up, and none of them looked happy.
And of course, I was now wearing a pair of flannel pyjama bottoms with bleach stains and an oversized Newtons Outfitters hoodie, with my hair scraped off my face from my impromptu water-bottle hair wash. I looked like I'd just rolled out of bed, and the Cullens looked like they'd stepped out of the pages of Vogue.
Jasper lingered just behind the bigger one - Emmett, I think I'd heard someone call him. He nodded at me when I met his gaze, and it was almost like he … relaxed somehow.
I was mostly embarrassed that I looked like this in front of him. He was wearing the softest looking black sweater I had ever seen, and immaculate jeans. My jeans were soaking in a bait bucket full of salt and vinegar, and would still be thrown in the garbage.
Just once, I wanted to look less like a grubby schoolgirl in front of him. Them. Not being swallowed up by thrift store winter coats or rejected clothing stashed in the car for incidents like this.
This absolutely wouldn't be an issue if I went to school. I'd be able to wear all the cute outfits I'd been planning in front of him - them - and look vaguely normal.
"We heard there was a meeting," Dr Cullen began. "We weren't notified."
"You weren't invited," Billy Black shot back firmly. "Your role is to keep us informed if others of your kind are in the area. The rest of our business doesn't involve you."
Freddie looked warily between the Council and the Cullens. "We gather as necessity dictates, and which parties are required," he said neutrally. "This was not a meeting that required your presence."
"Can we know what the meeting was about?" The red-headed boy stepped forward with the kind of confidence that belied his apparent age. "It would be helpful if we knew what was in the area."
Silence.
"We keep the area safe for the residents. We get a lot of things passing through," Charlie Swan said finally.
"But it would be immensely helpful if we knew exactly what we were dealing with - especially if injuries present at the hospital," Dr Cullen said earnestly.
I made a face - I remembered the absolute panic at Forks Hospital when the Nezhit had blown through a few years back. Having someone in the know dealing with the hospitalisations wouldn't be the worst idea…
…Who was I kidding, I was willing to make any argument if it meant I might be able to have a conversation with Jasper where I wasn't wearing glorified pyjamas, probably reeking of vomit. I definitely needed to stash more toiletries in the back of the car from now on.
I slunk towards a nearby boulder to take a seat, Freddie looking over to make sure I didn't stray too far. I knew there would be a lecture about my actions with the Lamia when I got home - even if I was preventing at least two gruesome murders, the rule was that I observed silently.
"Injuries are typically very low," Sue Clearwater said in a no-nonsense tone. "We manage fine."
"But didn't you just say that she was nearly harmed?" Mrs Cullen gestured at me. "Sweetheart, what happened?"
I scowled. "Lamia," I said, and Emmett Cullen let out a chuckle at the sound of loathing in my voice. "Did you know that the young ones don't so much as spit venom, but kind of projectile vomit when startled? And their venom is more along the lines of 'caustic rotting human tissue smoothie'? It was chunky."
"That is disgusting," the blonde girl said sharply.
"It was. And I was covered in it," I said, jumping when I heard a rumble coming from my left. Jasper; he looked pissed. Was he growling again?
"Why were you anywhere near them?" he asked, in that rough voice that sounded like it wasn't used very often, his eyes piercing through me.
"Easy, Jas," Emmett turned to look at his brother.
"She was going for Harry's throat," I said. "I just gave her a shove."
"You shoved a Lamia?" Dr Cullen looked at me with bewilderment.
"I'm not allowed to carry a weapon," I replied. Both Dr and Mrs Cullen looked taken aback.
"We need to be present at these meetings," Jasper said abruptly. "For protection."
"Protection?" Harry Clearwater sneered. "From you?"
"We'd be happy to help," Mrs Cullen tried again, and the blonde girl scoffed.
"We're faster and stronger than most other creatures," the redhead said - Edward? That might have been his name.
"I mean…" Charlie Swan looked at my uncle. "Not many things we come across will try and negotiate with a local coven. It could encourage a lot of them to move on sooner."
"We don't need a voice in these meetings unless they directly involve us," Dr Cullen continued. I was watching the negotiations without drawing attention to the fact that Jasper was moving closer to me, leaning against the other end of the rock I was perched on - and honestly, trying not to giggle at how unsubtle he was being. "We simply want to make sure that none of you come to harm doing your duties."
"I really don't think this is necessary." Sue looked angry and was talking in that short, clipped way she did before she was about to blow - I remembered what happened when Seth and his friends tried to make s'mores with a cut gasline when Seth was, like, eight.
"A Lamia could have killed any of you before anyone could react. You could have been scraping Alice's remains off the rock," Edward shot back.
"Where did they go, anyway?" I asked, forgetting my plan to avoid drawing attention to the fact that Jasper was only three feet away from me - and that was a generous estimate.
"Alice, come over here," Freddie insisted, and I pretended not to hear him.
"They didn't stick around," Charlie Swan said shortly. My gaze fell to the shotgun in Harry's hands.
"We were downwind," Emmett winked at me.
"They won't return - they're heading up to Canada," Edward added before his gaze fell towards Jasper. "No."
"They attacked her," Jasper said, looking at his brother with a flat gaze. "They moved to attack the whole group."
"And they killed some kids in Port Angeles," I volunteered. "Probably teenage girls."
"Someone is going to have to check the bodies to make sure we don't have a fresh Lamia on the rise," Freddie said tiredly. "Charlie, if you put in the request for I.Ding for me tonight, I can drive up tomorrow."
"They're murdering children?" the blonde stepped to the front, her gaze hard.
"There are two parallel species of Lamia," Freddie said, trying to catch my attention. Jasper hadn't attempted to move any closer but was surreptitiously watching me. I wasn't budging; this was the closest I had been to Jasper Cullen since he arrived and I was curious about so many things - and enjoying the fact that he seemed to be just as curious of me. "You can tell the difference based on the presence of scaling surrounding the cheekbones and feet. One hunts men, the other prefers young people, usually girls."
"Three girls, around fourteen," Charlie Swan confirmed grimly. "I.Ding them will be difficult, so we shouldn't have any issue getting that approved, Fred."
"Rose," Edward said warningly and she sneered at him, tucking herself next to Emmett.
I looked over at Jasper then, to find him watching me carefully.
"They didn't hurt you?" he asked softly. I shook my head.
"We'll protect you." He looks away when he says that, back at the group.
It's not an offer now; it's a firm insistence - the kind of tone that doesn't accept arguments or compromise. Who was he before he joined the Cullens? He didn't look that much older than me, really; like… all the Cullens, really, he physically looked young but there was age and time in the way they carried themselves, the way they spoke, the look in their eyes. Every single one of them looked a little bit haunted, honestly.
Edward looked exasperated but was watching me carefully. He was strange in a genuinely interesting way.
Jasper looked back over at me as Dr Cullen tried to soften the new requirement for their continued presence at any public meetings with Sue and Charlie.
I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked over at my uncle, who didn't look happy.
"Come on, Alice," Freddie said, and he sounded more tired than annoyed. "It's time to go. We'll discuss this with the Cullens later."
#my fic: anathema#charlie swan: oh man is he gonna regret advocating for the cullens#we're just doing some wild cryptid building right now#more funeral home stuff to come#yes jasper and rose are going to go kill those monsters; jasper will do 90% of the murdering honestly - rose is there as moral support#rose is pretty much jasper's parole officer in this fic#alice just sitting there in old clothes and jasper is wondering if its too early to propose; he's smitten#biggest disappointment of jasper's life: alice brandon does not attend forks high
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you do not have permission to stop caring about vampires just because october is over btw. vampires are a year round event
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[AGGRESSIVELY ATTEMPTS TO ENJOY SOMETHING WHILE IGNORING HALF OF THE FANDOM]
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Michael Sheen weighs in:
Previous interview with Michael Sheen:
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i, personally, love to straddle that fine line between “fandom blog” and “record of complete psychological breakdown”
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Feel free to use, or message me for more banners
yes, I'm self-aware thank you
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~~~'we live in a fantasy world, a world of illusion'~~~
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I think it's important to be an apologist for The Character. If you don't believe in their atrocities, who will?
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missing you terribly please come back 😭
I'm here!
I haven't gone anywhere, I'm just lurking and trying to write something I don't immediately hate. Everything has been so bad lately that I have nothing I'm willing to inflict on you all and then I feel worse and embarrassed that I haven't published anything in a year.
It's a never-ending cycle.
So, I have nothing to post at the moment. But I'm going to try and do some short pieces for Whumptober to get back into the swing of things and write something that doesn't make me want to claw my skin off.
XD
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if you're trying to get into the head of your story's antagonist, try writing an "Am I the Asshole" reddit post from their perspective, explaining their problems and their plans for solving them. Let the voice and logic come through.
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