#and i think different group that has accepted this in theory struggles with it in practice

[96percentdone]

I do honestly believe that all communication ever would be vastly improved if everyone on earth internalized and understood that the the whole thing is a series of back and forth interpretation of words with a collectively understood haze of potential meanings wildly dependent on context, speaker, and audience, even for even the most basic of sentences.

Like I can say "I like cats" but the degree of intensity to which i like them is just something you're inferring based on prior context (also interpreted) and how my tone is read. I could be sincere, or totally sarcastic, or maybe cat is slang for something else—miscommunication happens because everything is up for grabs, and communication is not an objective science.

It's a fast-paced guessing game played by all.

[crepesuzette2023]

Do you have an opinion on what actually happened in Barcelona and John's motivations?

No strong, line-in-the-sand, until-here-and-no-further opinion, and not prepared to die on any hills, but here is a blurry snapshot of my current thoughts on the quote unquote matter. (And thank you for asking!)

I think the question of "what happened in Barcelona" has too long been mixed up with speculations along the lines of "was John gay" or "did they have sex." While I relate to the curiosity, I think these questions, due to the bigotry of the times, led to simplistic, un-gay alternative theories (alternative to 'it was a Lennon-Epstein sex vacation', that is), which further confused the matter.

I do not think going to Barcelona was a power move on John's part to vet Brian and establish himself as the leader of the group. By the time of the trip (April '63), Brian had been the Beatles' manager for a while. He'd changed their act, found them a recording contract, had a separate contract with John and Paul as songwriters. He was in. Similarly, at this point, Brian would have been familiar with the power structure within the band, including John's leader/founder status and the equality that was the basis of the group and Lennon—McCartney. They were not a front man and a backing band, and Paul and John were not competing for the status of leader/main decision maker. It was them, together. There was no motive at the time for John to get alone-time with Brian to defend or regain his leadership status.

In addition to that, I don't think it's likely the vacation was related to the order of the Lennon-McCartney writing credit. Did John go to Barcelona with Brian to gain leverage that would allow him to demand his name would always go first, going against his previous agreement with Paul and Brian (which stated the main songwriter's name would come first, and all royalties would be shared 50/50)? Hmm. To me, this doesn't fit with Lennon-McCartney presenting themselves as a team of equal partners during the Beatle years, and with John emphasizing the roots of the partnership as reaching back to their romantic teenage pact. Neither of them tried to hide that writing was something they shared. There was no overt struggle for dominance, or even a clear division of tasks (as in, you do the lyrics, I do the music; or: you do the ballads, I do the rockers). And they planned to keep writing after the Beatles were done. Given all this, I feel it's unlikely John would scheme and try to get Brian alone in order to get his name put first, with Paul then just accepting it, because Brian and John forced him to.

It's so important to remember that much of the Beatles story is told in retrospect, after a bitter break-up, and in response to sometimes deliberately dumb or salacious questions. Yes, Paul framed Barcelona as a power-play on John's part, but that was after he and John had been through their own history of struggles of a decade or more, all of it amplified by the press and biographers of all stripes. And yes, John claimed Paul overpowered his artistic vision and fucked with his songs, but that, too, was in a later, more bitter time. In April '63, though? Were Paul and John really fighting for dominance? For leadership? For being the star?

I'm not denying that power played a role in John going to Barcelona with Brian, but I think it was something subtle—something related to being different...to John being the one to spend time with Brian, John separating himself from the band; John being the one Brian wanted to take along. And John agreeing to go.

{side bar on how every Beatle splitting from the main Beatle blob to travel down his own path with someone or something else functioned like a battle cry or warning signal to the others cut for brevity reasons!!!}

And yes, I think sex played a role in that decision. John made the choice to spend time alone—not a weekend, but twelve days—with a gay man who openly fancied him, and had tried to take him on solo trips before. Now, after refusing earlier, John agreed to go along. Trying to put myself in John's place, I have to believe that he knew the issue of sex and attraction would surface and have to be dealt with in some way, and that it must have felt exciting, and a little scary, but also: that it was time to do it, instead of always wondering what if.

But, judging from the events at Paul's (and Ivan Vaughan's!) 21st birthday party, I think it's fair to say John felt conflicted about it as well.

What actually happened in Barcelona? I'd be surprised if they didn't have sex. Judging from Brian's apparent blushing and walking-on-air happiness after the trip, I hope it was good.

Where this all fits with John and Paul, God—I've no idea.

The truth is rarely pure, and never simple. — Oscar Wilde.

Here is a lovely picture of John and Brian.

photo: Harry Benson

[thestrangestthing89]

Will manifesting Eddie, Billy, and El.

There is a lot more to say about El being a manifestation compared to Eddie and Billy. She got the most screen time of the three. Brenner's attitude towards El: We see that Brenner favors El above all the other kids in the lab, to the point where they are jealous of El. But we aren't given a reason why. In fact, we are told a lot of reasons why she isn't special - she isn't the most powerful or the most skilled, she is the weakest. He doesn't coddle her either and is instead cruel pretty much every time she can't do something to his liking. She disappoints him, yet he seems to have high hopes for what she can do. His behavior is very manipulative and he's kind when he needs her to do something and cruel when she doesn't do it right. He flatters her with "only you can save them" nonsense when we plainly see that she struggles to save them. We know in S1 and S2 it wasn't just her that saved Will, it was the whole group. In S3 and 4 it not only was the whole group, but El fails to save anyone. She does a lot wrong. But she is constantly told she is special and their only hope. It doesn't add up with what we actually see happening. And this manipulation (by both Brenner and Owens) isn't just when she is the only kid in the lab. He acted like this when there were many kids. So he could have relied on them instead of her. We know he didn't tell her the full story about Henry. He admits to cherry-picking memories. I think what we are being shown here is more El's origin story as it relates to Will. These aren't her memories, which is why she doesn't remember them. She doesn't have them. But Will does and I think he's repressing them (or as I said in my post about Billy, he's putting all of the things he doesn't like about himself onto other people). I think Brenner is interested in her because out of all the other kids in the lab, she was created in a different way - by Will. If she ends up being powerful that means he can create more superheroes through Will.

So in going along with my theory about Eddie and Billy, I think El ends up being related to his childhood trauma. The first thing that happened to him that led to everything else. I think this is related to his father given how much Brenner resembles Lonnie and his relationship with Will (at least what we know of it so far). In this case, Will manifests El through the abuse he suffered from Lonnie as a child. We know Lonnie called Will gay slurs and it's been heavily hinted that there is physical abuse and sexual abuse as a part of this (like Brenner and El). We don't know when Lonnie left or what happened here exactly, but I would guess something significant happened when Will was 7 since that was the age El was in those memories in S4. I think El is a reference to parts of Will's psyche he is struggling to accept. Like Eddie is his ego and Billy is his id, El is his superego - the hyper-vigilant, rational side to him. El likes rules and structure. She needs things to be orderly so she can understand them. She punishes the bad guys because she is the good guy. It's a simplistic superhero narrative and one that a child would come up with when they are distressed. He created a superhero to save him, like he created Billy to put his MF trauma on, and Eddie to put his insecurities about being different than everyone else on. That beings said, I think that once these manifestations are created they are real people with their own thoughts and actions. But I think Will can unintentionally manipulate things when he feels strong emotions - ie he gets jealous of all the time Mike and El are spending together so he has El dump his ass and run off with Max.

Will and El's relationship: For 2 people whose stories are so closely tied together, they have very few interactions. El is very determined to save him though, even though she doesn't know him. And there is still that unanswered question from S1 - El recognized Will's picture but we don't know how. I think this goes back to when Will originally manifested her. I think she remembers a little bit about this but not all of it. She doesn't know enough to know that Brenner's memories about Henry are fakes. Throughout the entirety of S1, El is mistaken for Will. They are interchangeable. Hopper thinks he's chasing ghosts. It's interesting to note here that El's limited verbal skills prevent her from explaining herself and her relationship to Will. Much in the same way that El's mother, Terry, can't communicate with words. A similar thing that Will struggles with in S2 when he's possessed. He uses his art because he can't figure out how to describe how he's feeling verbally. I think El, and by extension Terry, are representing how Will is struggling to talk about his trauma, in this case about Lonnie. They don't talk because he isn't ready to talk about this yet. There is so much that could be said about the comparisons between Will and El but here are a few: - There is a moment early on in the season when Mike is in front of the D&D board and you see the little wizard piece meant to represent Will the Wise. The piece is facing off against the 3 headed dragon and is surrounded by what looks like other monsters. The very next scene is El at Benny's facing off against the lab guys and Brenner. She gets surrounded by them and is able to escape. - El being afraid of small spaces is something that doesn't come up again. She doesn't want to be in the closet in Mike's room. This obviously has a lot of subtext for Mike's sexuality. But this scene happens when Jonathan shows up at Lonnie's and checks the trunk of the car for Will, heavily implying Will was put in there by Lonnie at one point. It makes me wonder if we will see Will struggling with this at some point (and Mike comforting him about it). - When El checks in on Will in the void at the end of the season, he's at Castle Byers in the UD. Will isn't surprised to see El. As far as we know, he never saw her before. But this random girl showing up and telling him to hold on a little longer doesn't surprise him. And it's not because he's barely conscious. The next scene with Will he is singing and he is able to sit up and he's alert. So he notices. They both know each other.

- Will and El both die at the same time. Will in the UD, and El sacrifices herself to the demogorgon. At the hospital, Dustin is telling Will that El is "basically a wizard". Will the Wise is a wizard. - At the end of the season, Hopper gets in a car outside the hospital and goes back to the lab. It's implied in S2 that he made a deal to keep things in town quiet for them. But Hopper keeps an awfully close eye on both Will and El all season. It makes me wonder if he was told to keep an eye on El for Will's sake. I think he knows more about what happened with Will then he's letting on. Hopper's relationship with El/Will is very interesting. He's the protector. He goes out of his way to not only keep them both safe but keep them separated. He is the only one of the characters in S2 who knows everything that is going on. He knows the lab is the only place that can figure out what is happening with Will, so he keeps Joyce in Hawkins. He knows El isn't safe from the lab if she leaves the cabin so he keeps her inside. He knows the town isn't safe from the lab so he keeps secrets about the tunnels. He keeps El hidden from everyone even though she seems to know something is going on with Will all season because she was spying. Out of all the characters, I think it's Hopper who already knows everything that is going on with Will and El. There is also the tie in with his daughter. He has flashbacks to Sarah dying the entire time he's looking for Will in S1. There are so many comparisons to be made between Will, El, and Sarah. I have seen people suggest that Sarah is a fake memory like the fake memories of Henry that Brenner showed El in S4. I think this is possible. In that case, I think it's Will who likely has the real father/child relationship with Hopper and not El or Sarah. He's the anti-Lonnie. The father that actually protects him and takes care of him. And I think there is a strong possibility that Hopper has a lot of this figured out already. At least up to the point where he knows Will is manifesting things (likely not about Sarah). I think he wouldn't tell Joyce about something like this because it's tied to his trauma with Lonnie and I think it's been made clear that Joyce doesn't know much about this. So Hopper does what he can to protect people without giving too much away. And he knows the lab is the best place to keep an eye on Will even though he doesn't trust them, because they know about where El comes from. It's a good way to keep an eye on everything and everyone.

In S2 there are a couple things to note: - El gets "rebirthed" through a tigers paw painted on the wall of the school. Tigers are frequently associated with Will. He brings her back to life when he is struggling with his memories of the UD. - When Mike is being interrogated by the government about El's whereabouts the woman tells him "the stories she told you aren't true". On the surface of course this is meant to get him to not trust El. But nothing is ever as it seems on the surface with this show. This line combined with the many references to El being compared to Will, and Max asking her if she is real are meant to point out the obvious - El isn't real. She is part of Will. What she says isn't true - a theme that continues through S4. El frequently lies. Oftentimes unknowingly/unintentionally. But it's still meant to indicate that what she says shouldn't be taken as truth. S3 is seriously wild. I don't even know where to start with this except that I think it needs it's own post because I think everything in this season is happening in Will's head. Or at the very least, is all being heavily influenced by his strong, uncontrollable teen hormones and angst. S4 is the first time we actually see El and Will interacting regularly. And it's really not much. They spent 6 months living in the same house but they aren't close. El gets bullied in school, which is a thing that usually happens to Will. But here she takes up the role of protector again and keeps him safe from the bullies. They don't even notice him because she is there. She's like a shield. I think El's separate storyline in S4 is partly due to Will getting more confident and partly him freeing her from this need to save him. He is becoming stronger on his own now. I don't think it's a coincidence that we see El have the same hair as Will and wear his clothes at this time. She also spends this season finding out info on their past at the lab. I think they are morphing into one person. Will is getting stronger and is more ready to take on his past in a way that he wasn't before. But he is still using El to confront these things. I think Will becoming more confident and confronting his past will coincide with him becoming more powerful and El becoming less centered in saving him (and everyone else). Like Billy and Eddie, I think El will eventually be killed off (like S1) or become a part of him in some way. I am reminded of what Henry said to baby El after he killed all the kids in the lab - all of those people he killed became a part of him and he could still hear them in his head. So I think in this way, El, Billy, and Eddie, still exist as they are a part of Will. But I don't think it's a coincidence that El doesn't seem to be in the next season much. Will doesn't need her to save him anymore.

[gabrielsbubblegumbitch]

It doesn't seem to get discussed very often, but what's it like to have comorbid ASD and NPD?

hard

No but seriously it's like playing Squid Games when you don't know the rules (and everyone else does). How do I suppose to get my social validation without understanding what people expect from me??

Also it makes treatment very hard because line between maladaptive NPD pattern and adaptive ASD strategy is very blurry. For example, one therapist told me that I need to stop thinking so much about how other see me. Because that's narcissistic and constant performing prevents me form forming genuine connections. Okay Gretchen, but have you ever experienced consequences of smooching your classmate on the lips in front of everyone because being 7 you were convinced that kissing is just expression of love and you loved your best friend? And you had no idea that people have different boundaries and it's socially unacceptable for girls to kiss girls, even platonically? Cause I did and that's why I know I can't just "stop thinking" what is acceptable, and what is not. Not only for my own benefit of being liked but also to not make others uncomfortable.

It's also a constant internal struggle to identify if something I do/feel is just me being autistic (normal, I can't help it) or me being narcissistic (bad, evil, should be treated). Or maybe it's all narcissistic, I just use autism as an excuse because narcissism is undesirable pathology so ofc as a narcissist I would like to distance myself from it? Seriously stigma around narcissism fucked me up. Additionally it severly influences the way NPD is treated by medical professionals. One German psychiatrist I know told me that his hospital avoids giving poeple NPD diagnosis because "it's like telling someone that they are certified shitty person". My friend I met during the group therapy was constantly criticized for forgetting about stuff and being "insensitive to others needs" and therapists blamed it on his narcissism, that "makes him so self absorbed he's incapable of paying attention to the outside world". It turned out the guy just has ADHD. It's seriously such a struggle to explain people that suppose to help you that you are not that bad, you are not careless, you seriously want to be a well adjusted person but there are some things you cannot easily change.

Also it fascinates me how little research exists about connection between NPD and neurodivesity (I have some theories why's that but I don't have enough evidence to make any serious claims). It's an anecdotal evidence but out of 11 people with diagnosed NPD I know, 7 of them have ASD or ADHD. And to me it makes so much sense because one of major factors influencing development of NPD is feeling of inadequacy. Yeah, constantly failing at social interactions and basic chores while everyone seems to be doing just fine and you have no idea what you could do better makes you feel pretty fuckin inadequate. Of course there are other things required to form PD but that's a great start.

[prospectivehero]

THE NEW TEEN TITANS: THE JUDAS CONTRACT - Written by Marve Wolfman, Illustrated by George Pérez

Holy cats, Batman, this was a read! I had watched or read a few different iterations of the "Judas Contract" story, so I finally wanted to read the original. I also wanted to dip my toes into more classic Teen Titans comics to see if I enjoyed them. I have many thoughts and will talk about them, so spoilers are ahead!

First and foremost, I want to talk about Tara's betrayal and death. It felt empty to me in a way I'm still trying to explore. I saw it coming because I've been exposed to versions of Tara Markov and this story. And I'm not opposed to spoilers because spoilers never ruin my reading or watching experience.

I'll give you, I'm not seeing her full story in the context of this comic. Tara made her first appearance in Volume #1, Issue #26 of New Teen Titans (1982). The Judas Contract arc doesn't start until Volume #1, Issue #41 (1984). I may be missing beats of her story that add something to her death. Maybe there were hints of her insanity and her contempt for the Teen Titans that I haven't read, but it still makes me feel dissatisfied.

I think part of it is that I don't like characters that stab their loved ones in the back, for whatever reason. In other versions of this story, Tara has realized the consequences of her actions, so her death is self-sacrificial instead of karmic.

Next, I want to talk about disability in comics and I won't be talking about Victor, yet.

I was only vaguely familiar with Joseph Wilson, or Jericho's, character before this comic. Now he might be a new favorite of mine because NOBODY TOLD ME HE WAS DISABLED.

I've written before about the treatment of disabled characters in the various superhero universes (link included). It's mostly disappointing, to summarize. While superhero stories make for great unintentional disabled metaphors, DC, Marvel, and whomever else, have struggled, for the most part, in representing certain disabilities and characters with them.

This is why I was so surprised by the treatment of Joseph. He is a metahuman made mute as a casualty of his father, Slade Wilson's, mercenary work. He communicates with sign language. I was impressed by how the writers balanced a functioning superhero with his disability. That's so rare and SO COOL!!!

Speaking of unintentionally disabled metaphors, let's talk about Victor Stone. I think he is the least "unintentional" out there. My theory is that Victor's most memorable and resonant stories are the way they are because someone is writing through the context of disability or race, maybe both. But he shares a parallel with a Marvel character, The Thing. Both are monsters in the eyes of many and have to live with the fact that they are unchangeably different. What makes the difference between the two characters is that Victor finds a group that accepts him, and he can accept himself. Ben Grimm can't achieve either. I'm writing an episode discussing Ben Grimm, so I'll leave it at that for now.

Once again, whether through Victor or Joseph, The Judas Contract, has surprisingly good and nuanced disable representation, just not in the places you'd expect.

TRIGGER WARNINGS (with potential spoilers) -

1) Reference to Insanity - Tara's reasons for her actions are all brushed under an "insanity" rug. I don't have the expertise to analyze if that's well-represented.

2) Cult/Religion/Terrorism - These three are not the same thing, but they all act similarly to manipulate and harm our heroes as well as civilians.

3) Implied inappropriate relations with a minor - it is not said directly but heavily implied that Slade Wilson is in a romantic and possibly sexual relationship with teenager Tara Markov

4) PTSD - This comic retells Slade Wilson's transition from the military and failed experimentation to civilian life.

[myobsessionsspace]

“If it was me I’d…”

“I don’t understand why he just doesn’t…”

“why doesn’t he say/do…” “It’s not enough they should…”

“This person has it so easy…”

Do we understand the members are between the ages of 25 years of age and the oldest is 31?

Do we understand their only JOB is to make music, fulfil their contractual obligations to their company?

Do we understand that they still have to work for the next 10, 20, 30, 40 years? They can’t just up and quit. They have WAGES, as much as we would like to think, money doesn’t go directly from your PayPal to the members accounts.

Fans money doesn’t go directly to the idol. It goes from the company. We’ve seen idols who have been in the game for decades (nationally known and lesser known but still known internationally) struggling with their company to even get a look at the figures of how much they’ve earned in their time working. They don’t even know how much money they’ve earned! They have gone months without pay from their companies, yet still working and producing content their fans see. Yet still having albums sold, merch sold, tickets sold, fan support.

Even the most popular, richest western celebrity still works when they don’t ‘have to.’

Why? Because they look after other households, family? Because money gets spent, the more money you have the more you spend? Because what else would they do? They still have a passion, a need to be engaged, work, be occupied.

Do we understand they are watched by MILLIONS all over the world, they every move photographed, discussed online, on the news, by the water cooler.

Do we understand that unlike the regular everyday person, someone wouldn’t know your cats name, your hometown, your high school unless you told them, there are actually personal security questions because it shouldn’t be that well known. Yet with the members we can find out nearly anything about them, their pets, their families etc. where is their safe zone??

They have become more than singers, not by their choice, it has been thrust upon them.

They have become presidential special envoys, exposition ambassadors, they speak against hate and discrimination in foreign countries, at the White House, the speak of love in all its different forms at the United Nations. They have had soo much weight put in their shoulders, more than any of us could ever dream of AT ANY AGE.

We hated our high school haircuts, we delete the pictures off of Facebook, we hide the years books.

Don’t wanna speak at an event, don’t have to, or if we do only those present may know about it, maybe LinkedIn or the company site etc, still insular, not international news.

Wanna quit your job, lie on your resume, you are more likely to get away with it, than the members.

Any company they chose to go to, if they ever wanted to, would know EVERYTHING about them, what they accepted in the past, what they would and wouldn’t do at a company.

Cheated on your ex, there are ways your current may never find out. Not the members, they can’t even be on the same street with someone without it being brought back every 5-10 business days. Can’t be in the same event without close up analyses and theories that they blinked too long near someone. Nothing stays in the past for them. Old differences/hurts brought up 7 years later. Millions of people who can’t even speak the same language as them dictating who they can have in their home, go to eat with, watch movies with, though they’ve NEVER set foot in their country before.

Fans wishes cannot be directly implemented by the idol. Idols don’t call the shots. The wildest things they can do are live everyday human lives. The most autonomy, ‘rebellion’ they can have is switch on an unscheduled live or *gasp* date (what are they 13??).

It’s A LOT. We need to catch ourselves. The pressure on them is already immense.

As fans we should be their support, their comfort, their safe zone.

Not another group of people telling them where to look, how to breathe, what to say.

Give them understanding, give them the benefit. Let them act in the ways they can, we don’t know everything. We don’t know we could do ANY DIFFERENT in their shoes.

🖤🤍

[hard--headed--woman]

I'm Indian and I used to be a radfem, like actively in wombyn's meets and donating to women only shelters for a few years. What changed my mind was that I found, for a radical position, many radfems were racist by omitting any conversation about it. I don't think all radfems are racist but there is an issue of them wanting to focus on "womanhood" as the bigger picture and completely ignoring the racism other women face because they think it's a separate issue. I understand misogyny affects every woman but it's wrong for so many of them to silence conversations about racism as if woc don't face both often at the same time in its own way. And overall it still holds true that woc face more ill effects from society, a lot of white radfems just don't want to accept that they could have any perceived power over anyone. It doesn't mean they're the same as men but they do not notice how the racist misogynist systems against woc are still perpetuated because they refuse to speak out on it or acknowledge the benefits they get from it.

I agree with absolutely everything you've said. Many radfems are deeply racist, hold racist views or are racist, as you said, by refusing to talk about racism because they want to focus on women - which doesn't make sense because not only women of color exist and face racism, but you can acknowledge that all men are oppressors in a patriarchy while also understanding that men of color are oppressed because of racism and fighting against that. Women of color's freedom will exist when they are free from both sexism and racism, and for that we need to fighting sexism but also racism as a whole.

I think this comes from several reasons ;

- many white radfems just don't care about women of color and racism, and many of them literally hate them. it's a terrible thing to say but i have noticed so many racist bullshit. many of this can also be pure ignorance, as i have noticed that many people do not even try to understand racism issues and to learn about poc's experiences.

- radical feminists are often uncomfortable with the idea that they have a privilege and are part of an oppressor class. i have noticed this with opposite sex attracted radfems and white radfems. i remember when i think it was menalez (not sure) made a post about how she hated white women and many white radfems got angry, while they are the firsts to say that women have the right to hate men because men are our oppressors - and well, white people, including white women, also are the oppressors, aren't we ? so it should work that way too. it is not a radical feminism issue, just a white issue in general - the problem isn’t radical feminism but white people not being able to handle the fact that they're (we're) privileged.

- radical feminists are tired of libfems, TRAs and other people in general asking feminists to include everyone in their feminism because it's about EqUalItY and tHe PaTrIaRcHy HuRtS mEn ToO and what not, which i totally understand because i am tired of this shit too, but they react the wrong way. they understand that feminism is for females only but forget that different groups of women face different struggles, ex women of color face racism, and that we have to focus on these struggles and to fight different kind of oppressions if we want all females to be free - which means that feminism has to fight against different forms of misogyny (misogynoir, lesbophobia, etc) and to overlaps with other forms of activism, like anti racism activism, that will include men. it doesn't mean that our feminism include men. nuance.

I am a white woman so I might not be the best person to talk about this but I feel like you can acknowledge all of this while still being a radfem - tho I respect and understand women of color who leave radical feminism because of racism, of course. At the end of the day, the problem is (some) white radfems and their racism, not radical feminism in itself. You can still believe in the theory and doing activism while calling out racism in the community, or even focusing on women of color. You can still donate, talk about feminism, etc. Radical feminism actually needs more women talking about this to improve. I'm really not trying to lecture you, I hope that's not how it sounds! Just giving my opinion because I think it's an interesting topic.

Anyway, I just agree with everything you said and I understand why you did what you did.

[novakaiserart]

Rebirth Broke Me

i jusr finished rebirth and oh man i fucking love this game, it embellished the relationships between every character to well. worked on the plot so naturally and beautifully. i especially love how much they portrayed aerith and tifa, gave yuffie more of a connection to the group. i also adore how they explored the gi story and made it so much more relevant. i love how they worked out barret's struggles. absolutely in love with vincent, but i always did so lol. i saw some people complaining about cid, but imo i think he's putting up a good guy front just so he doesn't lose any business after his attempt at being a shinra pilot failed. i fully expect them to cover his story in part 3 and explore it more like they did with everyone else. im soooo happy we got to see cissnei, but so sad aerith and her didnt speak of zack :(. it's also cool we got to see some midgarian faces again even after the crew left. the trials had me actually crying, it was stunning. they really cooked

i was very confused with chapter 14 until I reached the end, but it makes sense to me. spoiler warning ahead ofc i believe aerith died. i also believe cloud is incapable of coping with the fact that she's dead, so he sees her still present with them. but i also believe she won't stay dead either, i think she was really there with cloud when they fought sephiroth. her line of "i'll pray to stop the meteor" tells me she'll come back. being a cetra and all, i think she'll find a way to return to the earth through the lifestream

my leading theory for the trajectory of the games currently goes as following; i believe that sephiroth went back in time to when it all started (crisis core time) in the hopes of changing how events played out, my biggest proof of this is his attempt at killing barret in remake and tifa in rebirth. he underestimated them in the og timeline and only took out aerith as he viewed her as the only threat, but he needs the others out the picture too sooner than later. especially tifa. hence why he constantly gaslights cloud about her being a fake or not being trustable; she's the only one that can help him put his mind back together. without her, cloud will always view the world through clouded lenses. but one thing changed about my theory with the whispers now being white and black; aerith followed him to stop him. she sacrificed her memory and recollections of events to make it back. the whispers were sephiroth and aerith's will fighting to keep the timeline intact, but they evolved and split into two factions. i also think aerith's white materia being hollowed out has something to do with that. i think she saw what he was up to from the lifestream (since shes dead in og timeline), sacrificed her memories to stop him once and for all. for a while i thought aerith was the one going back, but it wouldnt make much sense for her to undo what they did just to save herself and zack. it's possible this is an entirely different sephiroth, but i believe it's the one from the og timeline trying to reunite every world possible to make sure he wins everywhere.

it's hard to say for sure whats going on and we're only going to know once part 3 drops, but i know one thing for sure. neither cloud nor sephiroth are relliable narrators and their interpretation cannot be trusted. cloud's mind is still scattered, he's divided between denial and obedience to sephiroth. anything he says cannot be trusted. sephiroth is bad shit insane, he only accepts his view of the world. his vision is the only valid one, therefore what he says cannot be taken as matter of fact.

one final footnote i want to comment on is the "date" aerith and cloud had. yes, im a big cloti and aerti fan. also believe zack is the only right person for aerith, so maybe im coping but idc lol. i think it was all a dream or at least an altered vision of events. i firmly believe aerith still loves zack. she wrote to him for 4 years while he was taking a mako bath, waited for him endlessly day and night. she loved him dearly. but aerith is also one hell of a loyal person. i doubt she would ever be able to brush off zack like that. she also doesn't know if he died in the remake timeline. i think she projected her love for zack onto cloud; to relive the happiness she found with him one last time. she's been holding on to her grief for years, she still thinks about him. he dropped in one day into her life so suddenly and changed it for the better. as did she for him. he vanished the same way she found him. so when another soldier falls into her life the same way, carries the same sword as him, has similar mannerisms, reminds her so much of the man who she fell in love with; can we really blame her for wanting an escape of how much sadness she felt from zack being gone? i also dont believe for a second she used cloud to feel better about herself, i think she just wanted to feel the love he showed her again before she had to pass on. but cloud isn't zack, cloud could never love her the way zack did. aerith grew up without any real friends, no one that accepted her for being her. everyone viewed her as different or weird; but not zack. he was the first person to show her genuine care (besides her mothers). she misses him, as much as she's happy with all her new friends who also accept her for her; she wishes he was there too. i also don't believe that the real cloud has any romantic feelings for aerith. again, he took on the life of zack in his head. he feels drawn to her because of how much zack loved her.

it's really such a tragic story full of nuance and hurt. i noticed that zack and tifa are great parallels; both of them are the only ones truly capable of reaching inwards towards their respective partner. zack understood aerith much better than cloud ever could. tifa can touch cloud in a way no one could. but that doesn't negate the fact that cloud cares for all of them just as much. they all mean a lot to him and he means a lot to them.

also really appreciate how the devs still kept the canonity of tifa and cloud, but also gave the chance to fans of other pairings to be happy with the outcome and choose their path. its always been a divisive thing in the ff7 fandom, so its cool of them to try and make everyone happy

overall, im super excited for part 3 and i think i might recover from this by the time it comes out

[deathlygristly]

I saw a post on here that I saved as a draft and I'll reblog it later. It was about how so much of political discussion on here is social performance and trying to fit in and look like a "good" person to others.

Which, like I've said before, I can't get into that mindset at all. Not sure if it's the autism or the circumstances of where and how and when I grew up or a combination. Well, it's probably a combination because most things are the product of an unknowable number of random events and the circumstances produced by the random events.

Something I'm struggling with right now is how much weight to put on people's voting choices.

Because for me, with my autistic brain operating differently in social contexts than neurotypical brains and also my lifetime of reading about fascism and propaganda and genocide started by reading all those books on the Holocaust when I was 9, it seems like a pretty obvious choice. To me, the consequence of your vote on other living beings is extremely easily knowable and predictable, and therefore it is a heavy moral weight on your soul.

But reading that post about politics as social performance on here, listening to that interview with the child of the man who created Stormfront on the cult survivor podcast, the podcast I'm about to listen to on why people deny climate change, reading stories on the leaving MAGA site, and reading some of the political threads that I've seen in state and local social media that I'm keeping up with for Helene news....

I think there are a lot of people who aren't really capable of fully understanding the weight their choices have on the reality of all living beings on the planet. If they aren't capable of that easy knowing and predicting, how morally responsible are they?

Like I tend to think that other people know what they are doing. I guess maybe this is what they mean by lacking a theory of mind? Because hey, not all of us are professional Holocaust scholars like the one person I follow on here is, but we all have pretty deep knowledge of it still, right? We all get the basics of propaganda and bigotry and violence and hate and how people in power can use that power for incredibly evil ends, right?

I am learning that no, we do not all have pretty deep knowledge of the Holocaust or a real understanding of it and what it meant. We do not all know the weight of our actions on the world.

And maybe I can't really blame people for that. Maybe their brain just randomly got wired more for fitting in socially with a small group no matter the cost than mine did. Maybe they didn't have the right configuration of circumstances to learn how to read when they were very young so they weren't capable of reading those books when they were a child and so it didn't make a deep impression on their soul. Maybe they were capable but they didn't have access to the books. Maybe they were randomly born to parents who are deep in a cult and they haven't been able to leave the cult and deconstruct yet.

I am trying to reply sometimes. To ride through the initial nervous system rush and then try to reply in a non combative way, because I know that's what works. It doesn't always work. It probably doesn't even work the majority of the time. But it at least has a higher chance of working than being combative and insulting. Although I imagine being combative and insulting does work occasionally though, because that's how everything is, but my strengths lie more on the trying to not be hateful side.

How do you help people cross the bridge from "I am performing for acceptance in this small group and I am quite ignorant of the world and my weight on it through no fault of my own" to "Okay, I can see the world and the weight of my steps on it and I will do my best to not harm others?"

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hello! It has been fun reading all the different theories and directions chapter 7 can take as well as your thoughts on it! I was also surprised that Lilia announced his departure so soon, and while so far I am personally inclined to believe him about his powers fading due to age, I do wonder if Lilia could be testing Malleus in some way or teaching him a life lesson. Death is a natural part of life, and with the long lifespan of the fae, Malleus is bound to deal with the loss of loved ones/people in general 😔, especially as the next ruler. Lilia could be testing how Malleus reacts to loss as it could be an issue when he takes the crown. That being said, I don't think that Lilia is trying to induce an overblot (but well, who knows haha), but rather highlight the fact that life is not permanent (even for fae) and this cannot be changed (probably), and therefore life and time spent together should be treasured.

Personally, I believe that part of why Malleus is in school is to forge connections but also possibly to learn how to say goodbye (when he graduates), and to treasure the time spent together with peers even if they are not permanent. This is just my interpretation, but Malleus appears to struggle with perceiving time and living in the present moment. As such, he occasionally misses out on opportunities to bond with others or connect with the world. This is likely because he is fae but Lilia does not appear to struggle as much regarding this, so there could be other reasons 🤔. He doesn't appear to value time as much as others do (e.g. dismissing 3 months of internship because it's too short) which is understandable, but I think is something he should value more especially because life is not permanent. So maybe the life lesson Lilia could be imparting to Malleus is that people will come and go and that should be accepted, but it shouldn't stop him from genuinely connecting with others because it will make life better, even if it is more painful.

Sorry for the long ask haha but anyways it's all just opinions/possibilities! I'm very excited to see how the story goes from here. Have a nice day!

I agree with a lot of the points you brought up, Anon! I feel like a lot (and I mean a lot) of the upset surrounding Lilia leaving is because people expect a found family or a close knit group of friends (like Diasomnia) to always be comfy and together. Unfortunately, this is not the case. Part of being a family or being friends is also weathering through the tough times together, even if it is painful in the moment.

Many often forget that sometimes Lilia’s way of teaching a lesson or letting a secret out can be very callous. He was, of course, insensitive to the worry he caused Silver and Sebek while pulling off the prank in Endless Halloween Night, and did not gracefully divulge the truth of Silver’s human heritage to him when initially asked about it (Lilia just went, “Oh, you didn’t notice our ears were different until now?”). Lilia is also notably stern and sharp-tongued when scolding others (ie Leona in episode 2). And remember how hardcore his training was for young Silver and Sebek? Lilia can be so much harsher than he initially appears to be. It is for this reason that it’s possible that his departure is to encourage those remaining in Diasomnia to learn to stand on their own. All three of them are representative of the future of the Briar Valley and of Lilia’s hopes for peace between the races—the future king, a human able to bridge the difference between fairies and non-fairies, and a mixed child of a fairy and a human. But they can’t fully realize their own potentials if they keep leaning on Lilia for support. It’s could be like a case of “touch love”/“if you love them, let them leave the nest” (except it’s Lilia leaving in this case to force their hands).

I think Malleus is specifically in a position where it will be difficult for Lilia to get through to him. His entire existence has been a lonely and isolating one, and it’s hard to get the socially awkward Malleus to open up to others or to have peers approach him due to his overwhelming aura and power. His distorted sense of time also doesn’t help with this, as it leads Malleus to drastically over or underestimating the time he has (ie he mistakes Vil’s magical aging as the result of more time passing than he had perceived, he often misses meetings because he mixed up the date/time, he believes the internship periods are “too short” to learn anything substantial, etc). He cannot enjoy the present moment because (to him) it slips away so fast, and he has an several centuries ahead of him. Now is nothing. Malleus does not value time because he has so much of it left; this is why Lilia’s words strike him at the end of episode 6: others may have life spans far shorter than theirs, but they can still come together to forge strong bonds in the short time that they have. “We live among such creatures, Malleus.” There is value in the quality of time spent together, not just the length of it—that is what Lilia is trying to express to Malleus, who will eventually outlive his classmates.

Lilia has had the worldly experiences and the age to fuel his understanding of the flow of time and how to live peacefully with other creatures, but Malleus has not—and those things cannot easily be taught, and certainly not in the time span of a few years of schooling. This is likely why Lilia goes out of his way to push Malleus to act outside of his comfort zone and to live his school life to its fullest, to go out and talk to people, to journey to new places and to steep himself in other cultures. He wants Malleus to have those enriching experiences because experience is the best teacher.

It is pointed out by the students of NRC that they don’t understand why someone as powerful and as important as Malleus is wasting his time with school. This is also something that Leona mentions in regards to himself; what could they possibly hope to learn from school? They can afford the best private tutors and resources without so much as glancing in the direction of the school grounds. But that’s just it: it’s the social experience of being surrounded by peers and interacting with them, having to work together with them, hearing from all walks of life. These cannot be gained in isolated self study. It’s also true that the negative experiences associated with those things cannot be had outside of school. The good and the bad are a part of life, and Malleus needs to become accustomed to it if he is to become a well-rounded and wise adult like Lilia.

The connections he makes and the good-byes that come with them… they’re important parts of growing up. Even if it hurts now, it’s meant to make you stronger in the long run.

(I’m not saying this is Lilia’s canonical reason for leaving so soon, but that it aligns with Lilia’s philosophy that we know of so far. It isn’t completely out of character for Lilia to announce his departure and to entrust his boys with the future while he is away.)

[sophieinwonderland]

We have so many thoughts on the "imitative DID" bs

We agree with everything you said. We have DID, we're pretty sure we're diagnosed.

Seeing it is filled with ableism about cluster B disorders is fucking awful. And this whole idea that having headmates alleviates the blame magically just demonstrates how unaware people are. System accountability is a massive thing!

And like different systems may have different levels of amnesia or amnesia for different things. Yeah sometimes we don't remember doing X bad thing! Genuineally. Based on who's fronting. Because usually those "bad things" are done in joint with a reaction to a trigger and us blowing up + going overboard. Who knew that alters with severe reactions because of not being well adjusted and understanding they're no longer in a trauma environment might have more barriers than others.

People also love for some reason to use documented symptoms of having trauma or even documented symptoms of DID as somehow being symptoms of... not having it.

And gods the way they treated that poor woman...

---------------- Now onto the "hysterical group" as they called it which I know they'd lump us under

We have a shit ton of amnesia. We are usually ambivalent to it. Often we both find it amusing and will sob and cry and get angry and feel nothing and laugh. Because with our multiple issues comes no emotional regulation. Shocker we have autism as well which makes us in our case collectively not be capable of comprehending emotions. We feel them but we literally with our form of the disability and how it affects us- are incapable of understanding emotions.

We also have excessive and extreme amnesia- we're one of the very extreme cases. And because we're an extreme case- these people would've shut us down. Somehow being so amnesic you have score "too high" is a red flag for these people?

And yeah we're happy with each other. Which our therapist AGREES with being a good thing. Some alters hate each other too but like eh it happens sometimes. (We're a massive system). And yeah we do actually state who's fronting if asked. Our therapist asks every session. And though we do have a mostly covert form of switching she can pick them out because she's a therapist who has seen this many times before. We when somewhat masking as we tend to irl even in her office have similar voices and unless it's a jump from one alter archetype to another- similar posture. But she can pick up on us dropping off and re-adjustng and asking to go over what was said or the lies of "zoning out" and "oh sorry I got distracted" that we're used to having to do.

We also tend to have our autism cause us to use very big words. And this is in all contexts as well. So I can definitely back that one up.

And then of course the addition sexism, sexualization, mockery, claiming of lying about trauma (because people love to ignore reality- we literally sobbed when our therapist first told us she believed us because that is the first time anyone irl has said that to our face- it is the only time we have felt safe in almost 2 decades).

And not even touching on the false memories topic. Literally earlier today (or yesterday its around midnight as I write this) we told our therapist about how people have claimed this to be real and she got genuineally mad. Incredibly upset and was very helpful in making sure we weren't slipping back into denial and going to spiral because of it again. It's something that is not and never has been a real scientific theory and all "evidence" of it does not meet the criteria to be considered viable.

A lot of people with trauma struggle to accept they have it. And especially in this case where the example they used was a MCSA (mother csa)- it really plays into sexism again. Part of sexism is also the idea women can't be abusers. This is something that has plauged trauma spaces for a while and driven out a lot of survivors. People think it's weird when a survivor is just as scared of women as men. Or is only scared of women and not men. people assume men are seen as scary and women are safe and docile as default. And that just is genuine sexism.

(sorry this was so long lol)

☝️👏

Agreed on all points. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences, and for this incredibly detailed and well-written addition! 💖

[sentientgopro]

My parents are currently trying to figure out a way for me to not have to share a bedroom with my brother, to the extent of considering a room in the garden. I said its probably just not worth it, Ive managed living in the room with him for many years, Im sure I can make do for another year and a half, and she said to me "You can't just put your life on hold like that for a year and a half until you move out". And she has no clue that had an entirely different meaning to me.

Yes, I DO have to put my life on hold until I move out, in a much more severe and damaging way than she realises, because of her transphobic ass.

But regardless of the twat saying it and the irrelevant context, I've been dwelling on those words. Its already getting kinda difficult a month into cracking doing nothing. Ive still got about another 20 to go before I even START transitioning and thats far from an instant problem fix, isn't it.

And I already wanted to think more in detail about how it will go when they inevitably find out, but this has presented a nice opportunity to think about it a bit more. My Dad will be absolutely pissed, plain and simple, to the extent that I'd have to make sure he finds out from a long distance for my own safety. He's gotten very aggressive over alot less. My mother, on the other hand, is a much more complex question.

She's the only one I've really ever talked to about issues (particularly issues relating to Dad, as well as mental issues), shes a psychologist so she kinda has a bit of idea what shes talking about. and she has said, on many occasions, that she thinks I'm very emotionally intelligent. She thinks I know myself very well. So if I told her about something I know she fundamentally disagrees with, will she just forget all that?

The thing is, she's been locked into conservative beliefs, but she can be reasoned with. One example was of a general discussion over the existance of gender dysphoria and validity of trans people, and I convinced her that gender dysphoria is real, there are scientific explanations behind why trans people feel the way they do. And she cannot find an argument against me so she resorts to "Okay, people like that exist, but I think most just do it because they think its trendy" cool, an entirely unmeasurable, impossible to back up claim that I cant even outright disprove so it pretty much ends up as her being right because she just knows better apparently. But, up to outright convincing her to change her beliefs, she can be reasoned with.

And besides, if Im so emotionally intelligent, surely I should belong to the group of people who aren't faking it, by her logic?

Honestly, if she was just outright never going to accept me like him, itd be easier. But the fact that theres a genuine question here makes it so difficult. Like, her helping cover for me and keep it a secret from my Dad and Brother while I start HRT is a genuine, possible outcome. Its also very unlikely.

But, if I could convince her Im not making it up, which should work in theory, and if she holds the belief that I can't just put my life on hold, its a forseeable outcome. And I don't know how I feel about that.

(Short bit of context for the next bit) One of my Sixth Form teachers has gotten extremely ill, we don't know the details but basically, hes disappearing for a while and we dont know if hes ever coming back. He is the ONLY member of staff in the school capable of teaching the subject. So, my mother arranged a meeting with the head to ask what happens next, and raised concerns over my education. In return, the head tried to ignore it by pinning it on me, saying I'm struggling already, and basically turn it around on me as if our only teacher isnt disappearing.

So I tried defending myself in a few ways, one of them being, since the last round of tests, Ive been feeling like, ALOT better, better motivated, to an extent that is affecting me on a day to day basis and making it easier to get work done, so there should be a massive improvement since my last tests. So after the meeting, naturally, my mother wanted to know what it was exactly that changed, and I realised I fucked up. The thing that changed was realising I was trans and realising that, eventually, I could be happy, and I have something to look forward to and work towards. So now shes gonna keep asking and wanting to talk about what it was. She keeps asking to go on a walk and talk about it.

And it keeps making me imagine, far into the walk, after she keeps poking and prodding, just going, "Fuck it, leap of faith". Because the more I dont tell her, the more suspicious shes probably gonna become.

idk, theres no real end point to this. This is more of a vent than figuring out my feelings. Supportive relatives are great, unsupportive relatives suck, but questionable relatives are fucking anxiety provoking. This is nothing new Im discovering here, really, this is a trans experience thats older than time itself. But I've never been a big risk taker, so Ill probably just take the long route and make sure they find out as late as possible.

[gremlinakadaka]

Autism in Dead By Daylight

I already spoke about this on my twitter but I wanted to talk about it here as I feel I cut out many points in order to not make the twitter thread to long. The twitter thread in question if anyone is curious: https://twitter.com/_Akadaka_/status/1609179900035964929?s=20

But with that out the way I wanna share why I think a certain 3 characters are all autistic.

Julie Kostenko

Starting with my main girl, while she is the most subtle out of the three she still bares traits. She is most likely high functioning.

Firstly, it’s hinted in her lore that she isn’t super social. She has a small group of friends and doesn’t seem to branch out that much in social interactions, which is very common among people with autism as socializing can be extremely difficult due to a multitude of reasons. The only time she ever branches out is when she meets Frank.

Speaking of Frank, lets talk about him, or more specifically Julie’s fixation with him. In short, it seems that Julie is hyper fixating on him. He’s different, he’s new, he’s rebellious. He’s basically everything she wants to be, it would make sense why she would want to hang around him and be so willing to follow along with what he says. But that also can be seen as the common trait of nativity in autism, social interactions are difficult mainly due to many autistic people’s inability to see and pick up on social cues, including manipulation. It can also be seen that Julie doesn’t know or see that Frank could be manipulating her and the other members of the legion into becoming what they are.

But with that being said, it seems that Julie is extremely willing to be apart of the legion and follow along with Frank, again she seems to be hyper fixated on him and the idea of being free and thus the idea of “The Legion” A small theory of mine is that in school Julie was very much an outcast and potentially bullied, and now Frank has given her the perfect set of circumstances: A loving partner, inseparable friends, freedom and rebellion. I wouldn’t be surprised if Julie has latched onto this idea with an iron grasp and doesn’t plan on letting it all go. This is her norm now so why would she change?

Moving away from the more grim subjects, Julie seems to be rather creative having a hobby of drawing/doodling in her journals in school, as seen in her lore. It is pretty common for autistic people to be rather creative in many ways, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Julie would doodle in class when she’s bored.

Nea Karlsson

Moving onto Nea, she is probably the most obvious out of the three but there also isn’t a whole lot abut her as well. So there isn’t a lot to say about her

Nea is described as “lacking everything that made someone normal” which says a lot already. Nea is a trouble maker, a street artist always on the move to tag the next spot. People with Autism are very prone to having “behavior issues” as they can lash out in response to certain things and struggle to accept changes or certain facts about life in general.

Nea initially acted out when her family moved from Sweden to the US, and change is a big thing for autistic people, especially as big as this. Clearly she didn’t want the change, she didn’t want to move to the US, she didn’t want to leave her old life behind. So she struggled to adapt to the change and turned to rebelling and lashed out.

She has taken to using art as her means to express her anger and rebellious nature to the world, having a real passion and seemingly hyper fixation on Graffiti art and Street Smarts. Becoming quite good at the both of them.

She also seems to be rather anti social, having a small group of friends who would probably move with her while she was tagging. Though I feel like not many people would be bale to keep up with her, or really understand her in general.

Mikaela Reid

And last but not least, Mikaela. Mikaela out of the three is the most likely to be canonically Neurodiverse, as it was revealed she has Dyslexia which is EXTREMELY common among people with autism and ADHD. She also seems to struggle with talking with people, people saying that she’s “weird” when talking while she think’s shes perfectly normal.

It is also pretty clear she has a hyper fixation on witchcraft and horror, basing her whole aesthetic around witches and reading horror stories to people in the cafe she works at. Hell she designed the logo and its clear she has a passion for these two things.

She also is very particular with how she does things, always keeping things organised in a way she can understand and keep track of, which is a big thing for autistic people.

Conclusion

I hope you enjoyed my reasons of why these three characters are Autistic, though I will say this is a personal head cannon. You are allowed to disagree with me, this is just how I feel and connect with these characters. Autistic people don’t get a whole lot of representation so seeing characters with traits is a big thing to me.

Thank you for reading, have a great day :) 

[lbhslefttiddie]

Thank you for answering my question. I love how SJ took the name of SQQ and gave SY back his name. I’m deeply curious about how they met in this AU. How do the Living Dolls get along in this AU? Does SQQ hate LBH in this AU?

(spoilers, also long sowwy)

everyone from the qing gen gets along quite well! they all come from a small and closely knit mountain community (which is why they share a generational courtesy name), and even if they dont remember it, i do believe that allows them to connect easier in the current situation than most debutant classes!

their shadows, however, are incredibly distant. this is working with the theory outlined in the manga that suggests shadows take one aspect of the human they mimic and amplify it, but their shadows were generally designed to take the parts of themselves which are...... lets say much less conducive to cooperation and making nice.(sqh is sort of exempt from that rule, more on that at 11) being rash, quick to anger, or snide and gossipy, or closed off and suspicious--their environment and conditioning takes their worst traits and makes them worse, sow resentment and distrust amongst the shadows. it also, at times, drives the humans apart (for example, lqg provokes sqq, and they fight, and as this is in the house, this of course means their Faces are with them, and seeing sqq's hostility reflected flawlessly on sy's face affects (temporarily) how cheng luan thinks of shen yuan) or makes working together difficult

as for lbh... i mean. sqq doesn't like lbh, but it is somewhat different from their canon dynamic, for a LOT of reasons. for one, sj came here with a goal in mind, and thus has other shit to care about. for another, this sj hasn't been quite so thoroughly traumatized yet, and he doesn't believe yet that he's lost everything, and so hes not quite as inclined to resent the potential and hopes of unsuspecting 12yos.

also zheng yang (bingmei) is in what has become at that point in time, shen yuan's group, and he is having a great time, btw. sy isnt good at cleaning but he is good at mentoring and adores this earnest kiddo. in fact, sy has doted on both binghes in different ways and both have independently of each other developed crushes on sy. sqq does not like lbh, but he is, at this point, greatly invested in sy's happiness. he knows that sy loves lbh. he knows lbh and his human both love sy, and both of them are remarkably skilled. it pretty quickly becomes apparent that tolerating lbh would be best for guaranteeing himself allies who can and will watch out for sy.

it is worth noting that for luo binghe, rather than bingmei vs bingge being a result of different upbringings, binghe the human is bingmei, and binghe the shadow is bingge, because bingge brings out already existing facets of bingmei's personality that bingmei in general feels no need or merit in expressing. for obvious reasons bingge doesnt have the same philanderous bent as pidw bingge, but he IS a flatterer, keen at manipulating and obssessed with his image (lol) and building connections and power, and bingmei goes through a good stretch in the beginning where he struggles with understanding his shadows because he does not like what he sees. bingge is a mirror of bingmei, and there is no one for whom it is harder to accept bingge than bingmei

[adventism-atheism-orthodoxy-me]

The God of the Universe

When I was a kid I read a book that included the topic of the four fundamental forces of nature - it was a nonfiction book written by a popular author that I can't place at the moment - It was Arthur C. Clark, Ray Bradbury, Robert A. Heinlein or someone that would be recognizable within that group.

After reading that book, I came away with an appreciation for the certainty of universal laws within the fabric of the universe tying everything together. The book itself closed talking about unified field theories, though scientists even now are still struggling with uniting everything under a common unifying theory.

Now, the natural forces that comprise the universe, once understood can be used - gravity with an atmosphere can make wings and/or a parachute useful (there's a kind of economia once you understand everything going on). You can jump up from the ground, land in the same spot, and most likely not hurt yourself. Move to Mars, and different gravitational constraints dictate different outcomes. But at the end of the day, I can't just declare gravity null and void here and not there, stronger at this point but weaker at that one. I'm not in control. There are forces much greater then mine dictating the dance of molecules in the universe, and I resist them at my peril. Not only does that hold true for gravity, but also holds true for magnetism, and for both the stronger and the weaker nuclear forces.

I would argue that that's true for a whole lot of other unidentified human things too - love, morality, connectedness, etc…

In my own life, when I thought about God, I found the thought of him as being a cosmic watchmaker appealing. Was that spurned on by some personal neurosis? I have no idea. What I do know, is that the God I found in the Protestant West has never really been very solid, but rather squishy instead.

Rather then explaining the world as it is, he subjects himself to it. Humanity in this world is apparently not of the natural order. Timeless truths are negotiable, can be fought against, bargained with, and ultimately be overcome (We CAN eat of the forbidden fruit in the garden and move on).

All we need to do, "is accept Christ as our personal Savior", and natural laws need not apply.

Apparently the thinking is that a life of rebellion and resistance to becoming truly human can be overcome, and rather than becoming one with the divine, and acquiring true communion with each other, apparently we'll just be, made "perfect" (Matthew 5:48), "in the twinkling of an eye" (1 Corinthians 15:51-52), "in the ages to come" (Ephesians 2:7)!

Like Magic. Lord, Jesus Christ, Son of God, Have Mercy upon me, A Sinner

[alliyah237130]

How am I engaging with the course work?

The workload is very manageable, I like the informal journalism-style that we are encouraged to write in because I struggle a bit with formal report writing. With that said, I am slightly worried when we have to make that switch but I feel like I’ll have done enough writing to be able to work through that. The class feels a lot like a podcast with the two lecturers having discussions, commenting on media and giving us topics to think about.

There is no such thing as disabled people, only disabling environments

What I find interesting about hearing this ted talk is how I—an abled person, had never once thought of how a person with impairments would navigate their everyday life doing the exact same things I do. Sunaura brought up the interesting point about how physical access leads to social access and acceptance; I come from the small city of Napier, a place I consider ‘behind’ in terms of accepting a diverse range of people. The environment is very clearly built for able-bodied people but also for the elderly as the city is closely considered to be a place to retire.

Aside from the physical alienation, there is also social alienation they must endure in their day-to-day lives. The concept of grabbing your own glass of water at a cafe is hardly inclusive for someone who has lost mobility in their arms, and the lack of sign language users forces a person with hearing impairments to work twice as hard just to be understood.

Certain shots in the film were juxtaposed to emphasize the difference of life between people who do and do not have disabilities. Pedestrians and cyclists were filmed crossing the road, then the camera would pan to the wheels of Sunaura's wheelchair. In the clothing store, a man on crutches was filmed trying on clothes to show that people with impairments can experience everyday activities too.

There is a theory that the alienation of people with disabilities is due to the fact that their impairments remind society of old age and the eventual loss of motor skills. A similar form of alienation is also experienced in the animal kingdom where mothers will reject their offspring if they do not have the means to survive in the wild, or packs/groups of animals who simply abandon members that cannot keep up.