#and i can almost feel it like a physical pain now

[hotchnersangel]

MATILDA

Aaron Hotchner

-----

cw; childhood trauma, panic attacks, illusions to drinking, abuse, self-worth issues, mentions of the bau's traumas, hurt, blood, violence, bit of a persistent and overbearing hotch at the end. PLEASE DO NOT READ IF ANY MENTION OF THESE THINGS TRIGGER YOU. This is a very deep and raw piece.

this has not been edited because it feels a bit too personal to reread lol

you have been warned.

You were always conditioned to brush off your feelings. It became a coping mechanism to get through the torment of your past. Physically you were fine but emotionally you were bruised and tainted with the colour indigo, that led to the bottled up pain.

No one knew your history or the treatment you went throuh as a child, in fact you often believed you history inferior due to your friends' upbringings. With Morgan being manipulated and molested, Emiy being dragged city to city to escape bible bashings, JJ losing a most beoved sister, Penelope losing her parents, Spencer's father leaving and him becoming a prodigy of the education system, Rossi watching his friends die right in front of him and Hotch. Well, Hotch's past had been a blurred line to the team, similar to yours. Though they knew something had happened to destroy you mentally for you to be where you were today- it was practically alien to have a member of the bau come from a happy home.

Your team had lost people around them, family, friends- life's true tragedy. But, you didn't. You lost no one but yourself.

You could argue that you lost you parents but it would be insensitive, they were still alive but they simply were never parents to you. They were strangers who barely even knew of your existence when you were present and a burden now that you were no longer around for them. No longer there to be their punching bag, no longer there to be their outlet of anger and cutthroat insults.

When the topic comes up, you deny, deny, deny.

"It's no big deal really," you would tell them with a large smile, diverting their attention and you had given them no reason to doubt you until one case.

A case that focused on parents abusing their children. You had almost gone quiet but it was not noticed, you played it off as exhaustion considering you had all been working back to back for weeks straight.

The jet felt colder that Tuesday morning, the seats glassed with a coat of ice as you sat down, letting out a shiver, Hotch takes his usual seat besides you and raises an eyebrow at you. "You okay?"

You nod with a smile, "Yeah it's no big deal, just a bit cold." You shrug, looking out the window, ready to set off for New Orleans. Midway through the flight, you feel a material rest over your legs, seeing Hotch reading the case file and hardly even looking at you. `like he could sense your need for some sort of comfort, whether it be from the sudden breeze or the pain inside your heart.

You arrive swiftly at the precinct, everyone getting up and getting to work. The team rarely struggled on a case but as you were all slumped around a board finishing your takeout. You look over the case files again and look up, causing eyes to dart over to you.

"Oh she's on-to something." Morgan exclaims.

"Let it download, almost there." Emily smirks slightly, watching the cogs turn in their head.

"A child can form a negative sense of love from super young, right?"

"Yeah, it's called our 'love map', it's the ideology of our internal software being developed from around the ages 5 to 6 based on our surroundings and the environment we grew up in." Spencer adds and agrees, seeing where you are going with this.

"And am i right in saying that it is effects our ability to process, receive and distribute love?" You inquire and Spencer nods along.

"Yeah, the result of a healthy development of self-cohesion, self-constancy, and self-agency is self-esteem. Positive affect becomes integrated with self-representation. A negative love map, essentially a distorted internal representation of what a healthy relationship looks like based on negative past experiences, can lead to significant issues in romantic relationships, including difficulty forming deep connections, distrust, emotional withdrawal, anxiety, and a tendency to repeat unhealthy patterns." Spencer nods along.

"So, this unsub had a broken home? Let's get Garcia to check records of social service calls to residents with multiple visits." Emily says to the team as they dial Garcia and are met with a sigh at the vast load she has to sieve through.

"I wouldn't rely on it there are so many left unreported." You added, shaking your head. "Look for school reports, teachers may have noticed suspicious behaviour and markings on a child- it's not much and hardly narrows it down but it is something."

The team nod impressed and you catch Hotch's eye as he narrows his eyes softly, like he was trying to read into your soul. You were, simply put, a book he could read one hundred times and still be unable to decode every last detail.

"Garcia, cross check school reports with silent 911 calls." You heart ached as you say the words, a rush of memories flooding back to you as you ran up the stairs of your house, hearing your father shouting up at you and your mother knocking on your door harshly. You'll never forget those knocks, like a constant reminder that you were always wrong. You had stolen the landline phone, really scared for your life in that moment. You were sat in you closet, knees tucked to your chest as silent tears glass your eyes.

"911, what's your emergency?"

Silence.

Bang.

Bang.

Bang.

"Hello?"

Bang.

Bang.

Bang.

"This is 911, are you in danger?"

Yes, help. Please. I'm scared.

Your shallow breaths cut through the silence before the call ended and your inevitable fate had drawn closer.

"I've cross checked teachers note with 911 calls and i think i have something." Garcia informs the team over the phone, "It may be a long shot but a man named Dane Kirighan called 911 twice but they were both silent, as our pretty girl said." She starts. "His mom Janet Kirighan recently passsed away... it says... oh- she was bludgened to death by a flat object four months ago.."

"That could be our stressor." Aaron nods at the team as Garcia continues.

"It gets worse, his father was sentenced to life for the murder of Janet Kirighan but he was deemed deceased only last month."

You stay silent. "He has abandonment issues, as much as he hated them both for the pain they inflicted, they left him again..."

"What's his address?"

The case was long, almost a week long and you were sure it was torturous. Memories came back in floods to the point that you could no longer focus on the situation at hand but rather the pain in Dane Kirighan's voice as he screamed in the line of crossfire.

One harsh scream then silence.

That silence you knew all too well, you left the scene quickly, getting into the back of one of the SUV's. You talk to no one, you look at no one, you react to nothing. Right now, you're as lifeless as Dane. The little boy who was manipulated and formed into a killer. You shouldn't but you empathise for him. You sympathise.

You knew that there were two sides to a coin and you and Dane Kirighan were one of the same. Heads vs Tales, you saw different lives but deep down you were made from the same foundations and ou were terrified.

You excused yourself from the car, heading into the bathroom to freshen up. No one joined you, which you were grateful for because currently, you hamd was stretched against the painted wall, clawing for something to hold you body up as your other dug into the skin of your chest as if it would help you breathe. Suddenly you were back in that closet, rocking back and fourth as you hear footsteps growing nearer to you.

You heart rate picked up at the memory, you breathing becoming shallow and uneven and suddenly the all too familiar burning sensation infiltrated your lungs. The need of oxygen grew stronger as you slid down the wall of the bathroom, feeling pathetic and completely naked on that tile flooring.

Bang.

Bang.

Bang.

Your mind became your biggest enemy as your heartbeat rung through you ears like a cry for help.

Footsteps.

The echo of your parent's footsteps grew louder in you mind as they neared the bathroom door.

Your heart was racing. Fuck. Breathing. You need to breathe. Come on. You gotta keep trying. In and Out. They're not here. You're safe.

Until silence, once again.

A laugh echoed from outside and you realised you were safe, you were home. Not all family was bad, but you didn't know how to be in the family. What was your role?

You walk back to the team after freshing up a bit, swearing an oath to yourself to avoid the topic of your panic attack.

You walk up to the team and they greet you with warm smiles.

"Nice call kid, you may not feel like it was positive but you helped." Rossi pulled you into a hug, a tight hug and you realised that the team knew. Fuck, they knew.

"How did you know?" Emiy inquires, breaking the ice to the topic. "How did you know to check for 911 calls?"

"I did it a few times," you shrug, being honest. This is what a family des right. "I knew nothing would come out of it but it felt like I was doing something."

Faces softened and you hated that.

You pull you hair into a ponytail and smile, though it is far from real. "it's no big deal."

"You were abused." Hotch's voice cuts the silence and zones his vision on you. "Do you hear me?"

"Hotch man-" Derek tries to intervene but Hotch cuts him off.

"You were abused." he repeats.

"Stop."

"You are a victim." he states so boldly with no judgement whatsoever.

"Stop," You repeat, urgently, feeling your emotions swell.

"It is a big deal. You. Were. Abused." He repeats and you are getting angry now, you hardly notice that Hotch had gestured for the others to leave.

"Hotch- stop it."

"Why are you defending them?"

"I'm not."

"The people you should trust the most hurt you, in every way they could."

"Hotch-" you feel tears threaten your eyes.

"That's why you don't trust easy. It's why you don't talk about your experiences. It's why you never miss a deadline because you think you will be punished. You think that your a burden and you bottle up your feelings and belittle them until they are overwhelming for you. Its why you can tell who is nearing you because you have our footsteps memorised. Do you know what these are?"

"Stop profiling me." You burst, your voice echoing through the walls.

A tear.

He lifts his hand.

You flinch.

He moves gently.

You look down.

He tilts your head up.

"It's all trauma responses. You are a victim of abuse and you're too thoughtful to ask for help because you don't want to gain friendships where people will leave you."

Your eyes are full of silent tears as you look up at him.

His heart breaks.

"You can let it go." He whispers to you, resting his hand on your cheek. "Do you hear me?"

You nod, you eyes rimmed red and glossy with pain.

"You-" he points at your chest, more specifically your heart. "You don't have to invite your blood related family to the party of your soul."

"Your heart, honey, truly is a party. It is beautiful, it is flourished, it is fun and it reflects every ounce of who you are. Your parents never showed you love but I do, we all do. Never be sorry for growing up surrounded by pain, never belittle your past experiences until you are on the edge okay?"

"What are you asking of me?"

"I'm asking you to let me love you... let me take care of you. You talk of all this pain like it's alright, it isn't so stop. A part of you feels like a lost cause but baby, you shine like the brightest star. You showed me a power that is strong enough to bring sun to the darkest days."

"I'm asking you to let me into your heart, your mind."

In that moment, you realised that you were starting a family who will always show you love and though it will be a long process, it will be worth it in the end.

[amourtoken]

hey so speaking of blood now all i’m thinking about is jacks feral need to mark you with it. no better way to claim you than his blood stained into your body. maybe a little spit it into your mouth heyo i am unwell bro

tw for blood/pain kinks pls don't ingest if it bugs you

if you're unwell, I'm already dead 😭 cause I love this sm

To put it simply, Jack is fucking gross. Not physically by any means, but mentally. OH he's a freak-

Bite marks, bruises and handprints only go so far yk? They're nice, he'll never get tired of seeing them on you but sometimes it's just not enough. He needs you in a way that surpasses sex and crawls into an undying primal way. He doesn't just wanna fuck you, he wants to- no. needs to become a part of you in one way or another. Since he can't physically brand his name onto your body yet, he'll find other ways to tangle his DNA up with yours.

He gets pretty rough when you fuck, but loves when you return the energy. Dig your nails into his back until you break skin, pull his hair like you want it to hurt, beg for him till your throat is so raw you can't speak. The way he drives himself into you makes you think he wants to split you down the middle and the way his fingers dig into your hips when he cums only furthers the theory. Speaking of cum, he'd rather actually be put to death than cum outside of you. Doesn't matter if it's in your mouth or pussy he's just outright refusing to finish if he's not balls deep buried in you, and anything that runs out is quickly gathered up by his fingers to be fucked back into you. You catch him mouthing off about knocking you up every time he gets close, it's almost entirely mindless chatter but it still makes your face heat up when you hear him choking out pleas begging for you to let him own you like that.

His freak rlly reaches a peak after your teeth sink into his lip a little too hard one evening. He didn't even bother pulling away from you immediately, just deepening the kiss despite the stinging feeling radiating from his bottom lip. When he does finally take a breath, the sight of your lips covered in his blood makes his cock twitch so hard he nearly cums right there. No other sight could possibly compare, he's sure, but fuck he needs to see more.

You'd end up thrown onto the mattress with your clothes strewn in random corners of the room while Jack trails his lips everywhere they can reach. The constant pressure kept the small cut from healing, leading to a pretty trail of red tracing the dips and curves of your form. It decorated you like the prettiest lingerie in the world, he couldn't get enough. Jack would work his way between your legs just to hike them onto his shoulders and bury his face in your pussy like it was the last thing he'd ever taste. He'd have you shaking and tears burning at your waterline so fast you could barely think, which helped him out when he used your fucked out state to get you to open your mouth for him.

Spitting in your mouth is nothing new by any means but the mix of his saliva, blood and the taste of your own release was absolutely new.

[djarins-cyare]

I thought it would be harder to pick and then I saw "Be-All And Endor pegging bonus scene" and anyway here I am. 😍

Ahaha, I hoped someone would ask about this one from my WIP folder! 🧡💚

This is set several months after the main story ends. My plan was – and still is (eventually) – to write some random scenes from Din and Reader’s future in lieu of a sequel.

Several readers commented they would’ve liked to have read the scene in the final chapter where Reader tells Din to go shower and meet her in their cabin to cross off another item on their “things that’ll happen eventually” list, which suggests some type of ass play for Din, based on an earlier comment in chapter 37 where he indicates he’d be interested in trying it.

As usual, the smut slowed me down when I started drafting it. Honestly, I don’t think I know enough about pegging to adequately describe it, so I put it on the back burner until I could do sufficient research.

That said, when I got your ask, I went back and checked how much I had already written, and I realised I actually have a decent-length scene leading up to the smut… it just fades to black (again) when they’re about to start.

So, Kate, since it’s you and you definitely deserve a reward for all your cheerleading of Be-All (for which I’m forever grateful), I’ve decided to give you not just a snippet but the whole of the 1k+ word scene that I’ve got so far. I’m not posting it on AO3 yet – I’ll do that later once I’ve written the second half of it and converted the AO3 version into a series – so for now, please enjoy this Tumblr exclusive bonus content!

⚠️ Please note the following contains heavy spoilers for anyone who hasn’t read the original story!

Be-All And Endor Bonus Chapter (excerpt): The Solace

Rating: Mature (18+) Pairing: Din Djarin x Reader Word count: 1,150 Tags/warnings: References to sex, anal play, pegging (nothing explicit); brief reference to a past attempted SA; the dildo is referred to as a cock; some swearing and explicit language; one (1) Mando’a insult

You find the toy tucked away in the back of your drawer, hidden from prying eyes for weeks. Even though Din knows you acquired it before leaving Glavis, you’d insisted on keeping it a surprise until you could finally try it out.

But things had got in the way.

His painful Darksaber injury, worse than Nantoogen’s concussive blaster bolt on Endor. His discovery of that mythosaur marker in Kolzoc Alley, faded and ominous. His bitter disappointment at reaching the lowest level of the substrata and finding it empty. The thrill of uncovering hastily painted coordinates that revealed his tribe’s new location.

Just like that, your fun and games were on hold.

In the weeks since, everything that’s happened has overwhelmed you both – physically and emotionally – for better and for worse. The covert, the recognition of your union, your shiny new helmet… Din’s exile.

The Armorer’s final words and your defiant retort still ring tragically in your ears almost a day later, as if your helmet has trapped them there:

“You have not yet sworn the Creed; therefore, you are not an apostate. You may stay.”

“But I have sworn riduurok to Din Djarin and the gai bal manda to Grogu; therefore, I am a wife and mother. I am loyal to my clan and could never abandon them for a tribe that exiles one of its own despite his wish to atone. You taught me that loyalty and solidarity are the Way, and I will honour that. So, I thank you for your offer, but nariti lo’shebs’ul.”

You can still feel the sting of tears on your cheeks, still see Din’s dejected body stiffen as you told his alor to shove her offer up her ass. Amid the grief, you sensed a spike of shock – even pride – flicker within him for a fleeting moment.

Now back in hyperspace’s safe and superluminal embrace, you both need the relief of the release you’re about to partake in. But he needs it more.

He still hasn’t really talked. Not properly – not like you know he can. He’s been barely responsive, stiff, twitchy, and every subtle quiver speaks of his deep turmoil. Apostate. It’s an awful label. His inner storm has been yours to share through your connection, but you’ve resisted. You saw his need for solitude on Anantapar, so you’d granted him several hours alone in the cockpit – helmet on.

After several failed check-ins for food and comfort, it was to this suggestion alone that Din had responded. Once you’d assured him that Grogu was asleep in his cubicle, he’d immediately risen from his chair, awaiting instructions. You’d told him to shower and to meet you in the cabin without his helmet, where you’d unveil your purchase from Glavis.

Now, with a determined breath, you face the final hurdle: figuring out how to attach the damn thing.

You’d liked the look of the ‘strapless’ versions, but the vendor had advised that a strap would be best. More stability and a better experience for your husband, she’d insisted. Fewer distractions for you while it’s his turn, she’d winked. Fair point. You’re not sure you could concentrate solely on his pleasure with something nestled inside your pussy, rubbing your G-spot to distraction.

It takes a few minutes of fiddling, but you successfully secure the harness. It’s actually more comfortable than it looks.

You turn back to the drawer and run your fingers along the dildo’s length, marvelling at the silky texture. It cost a kriffing fortune, so it’d better be worth the credits. A snort escapes you at the thought that Nantoogen’s bounty reward paid for this. It’s almost poetic that the man who tried to sexually assault you has now purchased you your very own cock.

Once it’s nestled securely within the harness, you spend several minutes pacing around the cabin, watching it bob along in front of you. Kriff, you’re oscillating between nervous, curious, and aroused. It makes you feel… powerful.

You and Din have an established sexual dynamic, though, and he’s always in control, even when he’s seemingly not. He has also previously rejected the idea of using toys in the bedroom, fully confident that (for you, at least) he can do better with his own dick. But as much as he’s enjoyed taking your fingers in his ass on occasion, he’d eventually agreed that something more substantial would guarantee him a more gratifying time.

Given his general dislike of sex aids, you’d asked the vendor for a realistic dildo to match your skin tone, especially since you know he’s been attracted to men in the past. Hopefully, this will help him feel less like he’s having something plastic shoved up him and more like he’s enjoying someone’s body.

With the trusty Tatooine lube at the ready on the nightstand, you strip off everything but your bra and your new appendage, then perch on the edge of the bed and wait.

You’re so accustomed to every rattle on the Crest by now that even his bare feet can’t hide his ascent up the ladder, and your pulse quickens in readiness. You stand, wanting to present him with the full spectacle upon entry to the cabin.

Din steps through the door as it slides open, but he stops dead the second he catches sight of you. His uncovered gaze plummets straight down to your cock, eyes widening in surprise, brows rising in tandem with a sharp inhale.

He swallows, staring… staring…

You gulp, hoping… hoping…

And then you see it – the slight twitch at the corner of his mouth. It’s nothing compared to the wide grin you’re used to seeing on your husband’s face, but you reach out with your mind, trying to decipher that almost-smile. There’s still a heavy soup of grief, but there’s more now, too. Intrigue, anticipation… a hint of excitement. Sexual excitement.

“Do you like it?” you venture, gently steering him toward those positive feelings.

He swallows again and nods, still staring. “It looks… real.” Taking a careful step forward, he comes within touching distance yet still only uses his eyes. “I like how real it looks.”

A rush of relief pulses through you. Those credits were well spent.

With a grin, you comment, “Well, it doesn’t have balls, but I don’t need those to fuck you. My metaphorical ones are big enough.”

Din’s eyes finally rise to meet yours as he steps even closer, the smirk on his lips now more obvious, and you catch another spike of his pride over how you handled your exit from the covert. “I fucking love you,” he declares, pressing a hard, grateful kiss to your lips before pulling back abruptly. “Where do you want me?”

“On your knees, on the bed,” you command, knowing full well that this is an illusion of power he’s giving you. “I wanna see that tight little ass in the air.”

His smirk grows. “Yes, Sir.”

Mando’a translations, in case they aren’t obvious:

riduurok [REE-doo-rok] – marriage agreement

gai bal manda [guy bal MAN-dah] – adoption ceremony (lit. “name and soul”)

nariti lo’shebs’ul [nah-REE-tee loh-SHEBS-ool] – shove it up your ass

Notes:

“Trusty Tatooine lube” is a reference to the scene in the final chapter that I mentioned above – Reader picked some up before they left, which is why she suggested that particular activity as soon as they’d left the planet.

In case anyone’s forgotten, Din tells Reader in chapter 30 (after their shower sex) that whatever sex aids she used before he came along have no place in their relationship, indicating his general dislike of sex toys. I don’t think he’s a prude, but this version of Din has a preconceived notion that he needs to be the best lover he can be without any ‘cheating’. Reader could easily talk him into using toys on her, of course, simply by educating him a little better – just as she’s done regarding other things he’s been somewhat naive about. But here, she decides to respect his prior avoidance and give him an experience that feels as ‘real’ as possible. Perhaps this will help him realise that toys might be fun for her, too!

Reader also refers to having “seen his need for solitude on Anantapar”, which, as a reminder, refers to when he had a teensy bit of an emotional breakdown at the tail end of their honeymoon in chapter 38.

I adapted the lovely insulting Mando’a phrase from a previously existing phrase in Karen Travis’s novel ‘Order 66’ – Kovid lo’shebs’ul narit – which is supposed to mean ‘shove your head up your ass’, but the grammar is a little off. So I put the verb in the correct place and properly conjugated it, then removed the word for ‘head’ (it doesn’t need an object as she’s just said the word “offer”, so it’s clear what she’s talking about).

Holy crap, I’m scared now I’ve put this up. This is the first new Be-All content since July 2023! 😭 Fun timing, though, because I have another two Be-All bonus posts coming out in the next few days as the fic is about to hit a milestone, so stay tuned!

Permanent tag list lovelies:

@bergamote-catsandbooks @chiyo13 @cw80831 @finalgirl-96 @harriedandharassed

@howhighwepose @kirsteng42 @leithatnight @lilac-boo @lucienofthelakes

@pigeonmama @punkygreeny @roughdaysandart @sadisticheskiy @samarys

@syd-djarin @wrathkitty

Please feel free to JOIN MY TAG LIST

➤ MAIN MASTERLIST

[pedricos]

one with bernal where he's afraid of hurting the reader because of the size difference, but he can't control himself 

smut plss

Marc Bernal – in too deep .ᐟ

a.n: thanks for feeding into my size difference kink! it ended up more as a small blurb

warnings: NSFW!! smut, suggestive content (725 words)

he's in too deep.

your boyfriend, marc, truly cares about you.. how can he not? you're just so petit and pretty, how could he ever do anything to hurt you? he couldn't ever hurt a fly, and he knows you couldn't too.

not that he was agressive, nor did he wanted to ever cause you any pain, but the way you squeeze him is just too much, the way he can clearly see the bulge of him in your belly, the way your tits bounce when he goes fast.

he knows he's tall and he know he getting stronger by the day, but how can he resist? you're so vulnerable under him; his own hand holding your wrist up, as a warning to keep hands to yourself, your back arched, welcoming him deeper in your soaked cunt and eyes flushed shut.

he doesn't want to go harder cause you already made clear this pace is too good for you, but he can't get enough of you. he can never think you're not enough.. he thinks you're way too much for a guy like him.

he slows down his pace, panting loudly as he almost bottom out of you and letting go of holding your wrists, putting his hands by the side of your head and lowering his head, hiding in the crook of your neck.

he whimpers so ridiculously at your mercy. your, now, free hands find his face, cupping his cheeks and making him look at you.

furrowed eyebrows with small tears forming in the corner of his eyes, blushes face with this puppy-like expression, batting his eyelashes at you. his mouth opened as he was about to say something, you wait for it, but he never does.

“qué pasó? is everything okay?” you body froze, your walls contracting against your boyfriend lenght and he gives you a shy moan in response, “aah.. y/n” he calls for your name as you weren't already so impossibly close to him in the moment. (what happened?)

“can i.. can i go harder? please.. any pace you want, please” the thin tear finally roll down his cheek. you can't get any words out of your mouth right now, still processing your boyfriend's words. “marc.. of course you can, why are you asking?” your tender touch doesn't match with the burning sensation of your boyfriend stretching your pussyhole.

“tengo miedo de hacerte daño” he looks down at your bottoms connect; his dick halfway through your walls and soaked in white liquid. theres no place were he's rather be right now, ”go on, cariño" you give him a reassuring kiss on the cheek. (i don't want to hurt you)

he grabbed your wrists once again, pinning them above your head, going all the way inside your hole; every inch of him touching every warm wall of yours. he leans down to start a messy kiss, with tongues everywhere and teeth clashing.

but he doesn't care. he's in too deep.

his pace animalistic fast, his dick touching impossibly far, hitting your prostate again, again and again, making the familiar feeling of a knot in your stomach beginning to form.

“oh! oh! marc!” you chant his name, your legs around his waist pulling him closer. by the way your bodies are connected, you're probably breaking the law's of physic.

the bulge on your belly going up and down, as he move his hips back and forth. all you can hear in the room are moans and grunts, along with the headboard of the bed hitting the wall like crazy, and there's nothing going on on your mind but how close you're to cumming.

“please, please! yes, there!” you're probably screaming so loud that all your neighbors probably are hearing. but can you blame youself? sure you can't, your boyfriend is fucking you so good right now you probably don't even remember your own name.

he hit the same spot over and over as he let go of your wrist, moving his hands down to your clit and stimulating your pussy as he's take you.

you can't even remember how much time took you to cum, but the mess you made surely showed you it didn't take so long. and marc follows your after a few more thrusts; painting your insides white with his babies.

but you can't even get mad at him for finishing inside; he was in too deep.

check out my masterlist .ᐟ

im a major size difference enjoyer, yall wouldn't get it..

thanks for the request and for being so patient. requests still open! bye bye, hope u like it 💋

[beef-brisket]

Adam was shaking as Lucifer held him, their claws dug into each other's skin, refusing to let go for even a moment. His eyes were squeezed shut, too terrified to even try to acknowledge whatever was going on around him.

Even though his angel healed him, his back and shoulder still pulsed with the old pain, and his torso was slowly getting cold from his drying blood.

Adam: L-Lu-.

Lucifer slowly pulled away and cupped Adam's face. He was so relieved his dove was alive. He couldn't believe he almost lost him again for who knows the number of times now. But Lucifer knew it was the last. He won't let anyone touch him, or even look at him, if he had to.

Lucifer: Oh, goodness. You're alright, my dove. I've got you. I've got you, and I won't let you go. Never again.

Adam: I-I know, Lu. I believe you- thank y-you, my angel.

Charlie couldn't believe it. She didn't know where to look. Either at the corpse of... Adam, or... Adam kissed her father's forehead, and the two pulled each other close.

Holding her love close, she slowly pulled off her eye covering. Even though her eyes cause her so much pain, they were so beautiful to look at.

Vaggie: C-Charlie- n-no-.

Charlie: I know love, I'm sorry. But... can you look at Adam...?

Vaggie wanted to scoff at such a question. All she was going to witness was the exterminations, and whatever business he got up to with the women of Heaven.

After mentally and physically preparing herself, she looked at Adam.

She felt tears come to her eyes. He was clean. Sinless.

Vaggie: W-What-? I don't... I don't understand...

Charlie looked at the corpse of the demonic Adam. She didn't understand either. The feeling she got from his body was pure evil. But there was a holy energy.

It's what she felt whenever she was in the same room as Adam these last few weeks.

Charlie: I... d-dad-?

Lucifer held Adam tight and stared at his daughter: He's new. My father split Adam's soul apart. He thought, if he got rid of Abaddon's weakness, he would be unstoppable. Obedient. But all he created was a soldier. A weak, little boy that only listened to daddy. Adam- my dove, is as sweet as he was in Eden... in fact... I believe this is his original soul, my darling Adam.

Charlie: But- how did you kill Ada- Abaddon? The last time you fought... he-.

Lucifer: I'm well aware, hun. What Father didn't count for was that Adam had strengths. More strength than he gave him credit for... without him, Abaddon was weaker. Killable.

Charlie: I... no, no, I don't believe-.

Charlie turned when she felt Vaggie's hand on her shoulder: It's true, Char. I don't see... any sin. Nothing. He's just... blank. New.

Lucifer smiled down at his dove: Just like he was in the garden.

Tormentor of souls au

Darkness surrounded him like a blanket. Only he was no way comfortable or felt safe. He felt fear grip him like iron as he tried to make even a sliver sense of his situation. He could barely a muscle, if he had any muscle to pull. It felt like he had nothing to move, was this what happened to the souls he exorcised? 

Were they to end up here for eternity, slowly being drove insane with nothing but your thoughts to keep you company? Adam couldn’t even try to open his mouth to speak, well he did try, but the only words that would escape from him were from within his mind. In his mind he sighed, he was just so tired, he didn’t have any strength to fight, to argue that he shouldn’t be here. Yet what exactly was the point? He’d only tire himself further out. 

He had to admit it, he was stuck here, for all eternity. Much the same as a sinner. 

That was when he saw it a flicker of light. Not just any light, a pure white light. A light that was so familiar, one that brought him joy when it spoke to him in his booming voice.

His creator 

“GREETINGS MY SON. IT HAS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I HAVE LAST SPOKE TO YOU AND FOR THAT I APOLOGIZE”

Adam didn’t care he was just so thankful to be in his creator’s presence.

“MY SON I KNOW THAT YOU HAVE LIVED A LIFE OF HARDSHIP AND THAT IT DID NOT STOP EVEN WHEN YOU PERISHED.” 

He tried to not flinch at that. Thinking about his first life brought too many unpleasant memories.

“THAT IS WHY IT BRINGS ME PAIN TO ASK YOU OF THIS, BUT I NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE ONCE MORE. I KNOW OF WHAT YOU HAVE DONE THESE PAST FEW CENTURIES, AND I HAVE TO SAY THAT IT WAS NOT THE SOLUTION”

Adam could not believe what he was hearing. His own creator believed that they, the murderers and rapists, deserved to be redeemed!?

“HELL IS MEANT TO BE A PUNISHMENT, ETERNAL TORMENT OF THE SINS LUCIFER CORRUPTED WITH HIS WAY OF FREE WILL. HOWEVER MANY OF THEM DON’T SEE IT THAT WAY. TO THEM HELL IS MERELY A PLAYGROUND WHERE RULES NO LONGER MATTER. I HAVE SEEN TRUE MONSTROUS ACTS THE WICKED HAVE BROUGHT WITH THEM FROM LIFE. THEY CARRY IT MOST OUT ON THE TRUE CITIZENS OF HELL, THE ONES THAT HAD NO SAY IN BEING THERE OR NOT.”

The hell born, Adam thought taking in the Lord’s words

“I KNOW I AM NOT THEIR CREATOR, NOR DO THEY CALL ME FATHER, BUT I HAVE HEARD THEIR PLEAS FOR HELP TO BE SAVED FROM THE ACTS OF THE WICKED, OF ALL WICKED. UNFORTUNATELY THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE BORN DOWN THERE, BUT I CAN STOP THE SINNERS FROM HURTING THEM AND THAT IS WHERE I NEED YOUR HELP”

Adam had never put much thought into the hellborn. To him they were simply there and as long as they got in his way during the exterminations they weren’t a problem. There was the princess, but he didn’t really count her. He was curious however as to what the Lord wanted him to do.

“THE SINNERS NEED PUNISHMENT, AND THE HELL BORN NEED PROTECTION. YOU CAN BE THEIR PROTECTOR BY BECOMING THE PUNISHER.”

 With a simple snap of his creator’s fingers Adam felt something shift within him, in his very essence he changed. A warm feeling engulfed him whole and then he knew no more.

((Oh shit- I love everything about this! God needs to fuck off and let our boy rest!

Sorry this took me a hot second to get to- and I hope my reply does yours justice 😝))

Charlie is in full work mode and has been since the failed extermination ended. Since finding out Sir Pentious ended up in Heaven.

For months, she had been working hard. It was so hard that she somehow missed the latest gossip going around the Pride Ring.

Sinners ending up missing, only to resurface months later completely different. Scared. Traumatized.

Many didn't think much of it. This is Hell. There's always some crazy bastard out there doing shit.

But, it was when they became too scared to even function, too scared to ever be normal again, too scared that they would rather turn an angelic blade on themselves than to live with the possibility of going through whatever it is they've gone through.

Charlie was actually getting quite concerned. Especially when she heard Angel talking about it one night at Husks bar.

Angel: I fucking tell ya, kitty. People a shit scared. I've never seen the clubs so empty!

Husk shook his head: Must be the worst of the worst, huh?

Angel scoffed, downing his drink: Nah, babe. It's something else. It ain't no sinner.

Husk: Hellborn?

Angel: Those guys are freaky. Don't get me wrong, but their not THAT freaky. I had a client who said he was taken for three months. Three. That's fucking child's play. But the shit he said happened to him... fucking skinning, to pouring acid down his throat. Fuck mam, the sick ficker even dug around I'm his muscle and tendons!

Angel shook his head: There's something going on... even Val has lowered the workload.

Husk: Pft. Fuck. That's how you know it's serious.

Angel: Damn fucking right.

Charlie stood at the top of the stairs, listening to Angel's story. She was shocked but not surprised. She wasn't sure why this person has the sinners so scared, but sury it's nothing new.

She probably should make sure Al isn't behind this. She's only heard a few tales of his exploits so she wouldn't put it past him.

-

Alastor: Hm. So you've heard the rumors, too. While I'm flattered, I don't appreciate being confronted in such a way.

Vaggie: Just- fucking answer her, Alastor.

Alastor sighed, leaning on his cane: No, it's not me. I've been too busy here! And my kills stay dead when I'm finishing them~.

Charlie wasn't sure if she liked that answer, but it was good enough.

She apologized to Alastor, ams watched him leave.

Vaggie: ...I don't know, Charlie.

Charlie: I don't know either...

Vaggie: I'm sure it's nothing. Besides, you have more important things to deal with here, hun. You shouldn't get mixed up in sinner issues.

Charlie sighed: I know. I just... surely, it's a coincidence that this starts after the failed extermination... that was my fault. Simmered died because of me- I put my friends in danger! I feel like I owe it to everyone to at least try and solve it.

Vaggie smiled and pulled her girlfriend onto a soft hug.

Vaggie: I know you feel like that, hun. But you don't owe anyone anything... besides, if it's that bad, you could just ask Lucifer. He said he was looking for something to do.

Charlie: Hm... that's... a good idea, actually! I'll get dad on the case!

-

Lucifer: Me on the what now? Charlie, why should I care about whatever is going on with those sinners? Their... you know... sinners.

Charlie: Dad, please? Our guests are sinners. We need them to be safe. So please. Look into this for me? Even just a little bit?

Lucifer sighed. He really didn't want to do this. But, seeing the hopeful, pleading look on his daughters face, eventually changed his mind.

Charlie: Oh- thank you, dad, thank you!

Lucifer smiled as Charlie pulled into a hug. But when she felt and heard his back crack, she slowly put him down.

Charlie: S-Sorry dad!

Lucifer laughed through the pain: It's okay, Charlie - nothing I can't handle! I-I better start hunting a... whatever the fuck this is!

[theodore-lasso]

.

[kuruk]

genuinely sort of obsessed with suicide and killing yourself and dying lately. main character in a manhwa I was reading tried killing herself kind of late into the story coincidentally at a time where I was already starting to become very obsessed with death wnd now I'm having so much fun finding more killing yourself stories like yes let's all kill ourselves no more I think that'squite enough.. like 8ts really the only thing I look forward to thinking about lately I wake up disappointed that there's nothing to look forward to for the day or life but remember I have time to think about killing myself and I'm like Yay and hurray and such. I've felt this way like twice and it's a comparatively higher risk level of being suicidal for me since I kindof dont care about anything but this focus and I feel almost genuine excitement and anticipation about death and for hours a day I'm just fantasizing about being able to give up or start over, which is worse than having severely sad angry emotional issues kind of depressed where things do matter and they're just not good but in this case nothing matters or excites me except this. it's worse as in like it doesn't feel as impossible to happen but it does feel way better like well at least I still have killing myself and dying we wlways have killing ourselves and dying

[ganondoodle]

so with echoes of wisdom .. i havent watched any of the trailers beyond the very first one and the thumbnails/screenshots and what others have said about it-

but with the world inside the rift being called "Welt des Nichts" aka "world of nothing/void" in german ('still' in english, for some reason) and demises title in french being "avatar of nothing" ... yeah my anxiety is shooting through the roof again

(hopefully you can be a little more forgiving for me being anxious/weird about it bc demise is my blorbo)

i had similar worries with totk, that werent proven true thankfully, but the darn book is making it all worse again with all those weird lore things the game doesnt even so much as hint at AND potential retcons- im in for a really rough time huh, not just stress in real life (more in tags.. its alot) but now about my specific hyperfixation from two things even (AND artblock still..)

weird as it may sound, i dont want demise to get more lore, partly bc i dont believe theyd do anything with him that i would like (given their track record) but much more importantly- the fact that he has this little lore about him is precisely one of the reasons why i fell in love with him, i tend to like characters that are neglected by the narrative, and his story being both so flat and already done meant i can be very creative with what i come up with for him without necessarily contradicting anything in canon (which is ... or was a big point of how i wrote destiny's story and lore, working with canon in a way that reframes it all without straight up ignoring it ... but i suppose i urgently need to let go of that and accept i spend alot of time working things that will go to waste :( ) AND not having to worry that there will be more stuff with him that would massively change not only what im writing but also potentially how i feel about him since the game he was briefly in was the oldest chronologically and ended with his death- i didnt expect them to mess with anything that far back and thought theyd just go forward and leave the timeline behind and wouldnt mess with it again, given how botw seemed to be a sort of 'fresh start' that seemingly regarded the past as the past that needs to rest and that the timeline was finally no longer a discussion if everythings unified through botw and one thing going forward

but i suppose i was very wrong with that .__.

right now the only thing that motivates me still is the left over determination and spite to work on my zelda comic, since i have never gotten this far and really want to get something done for once, but i cant lie that im feeling like i should pause all work on it too to wait and see waht the book and the new game will do .. either to determine if i still have the will to keep working on it after those things are out (my love for tloz has been taking alot of hits lately ..) or if i have to change stuff (mostly bc of my lore problem trying to not ignore it ..)

[pkmoth]

having swap au thoughts. *slaps roof of claus* there's so much mental illness in this guy. im gonna blow up everyone in the room and then myself

[dandyshucks]

i've drafted and deleted so many posts that basically just boil down to "oh my god help me i love this worm" and "can someone please remove this worm from my brain, he is making me insane". please know that i am holding myself back from making one like at least once an hour 😭😭😭😭😭

[conkreetmonkey]

I wanna make a Conky ref and lore sheet/bio, I'm really growing attached to that goober

[lesbiansanemi]

I'm so tired

[actualaster]

I know media does it to most easily showcase how much pain a character is in, but you don't actually need to be in so much pain you're screaming from it for a limb to give out from pain.

Sometimes it's just a white-hot flash of agony so sudden it takes your breath away and the next thing you know you're on the ground/bed/back in the chair/whatever.

It's so abrupt and intense and quick that it's over before you have even a chance to make a sound and all that's left is the deep, lingering ache of it.

And sometimes it's not even pain! Sometimes a limb can just... Stop working and down you go. The pain comes after.

(That's what happened to my knee where I ended up needing to be wheeled around because I couldn't walk--just gave out and hurt after it stopped working)

There's pain you cry out from, for sure, but there's plenty of pain--pain that can be literally debilitating--that you don't scream from, either, but that doesn't make it less of an impediment. Depends on the person themselves a lot, as well as the type of pain itself.

[l0rd-0f-c0ws]

I frequently feel completely isolated no matter how much I talk to people. So that's fun

[databent]

strated writing and gave up on 2 separate posts basically just yelling about how mad it makes me that n24 is so misunderstood and accomodations are so unavailable. MAN

[m-for-now]

Improving in your life is actually kinda hard and sucks, I'm gonna pretend I'm at the beginning of my anime arc now