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#and i am just completely drained
mistress-light · 10 months
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Whelp, I am officially overworked since last week. Had a breakdown, couldn’t think, felt empty as hell. But, here I am getting there.
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omaano · 9 days
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Shaak Ti and her tiny charges join the Hades AU, complete, with colourful little highlights and a dialogue box this time (and an alternate version under the cut where I tried my hand at taking the shade/Force-ghost aspect a little further than I did with Fives)
"There is no doubt that Grogu is an exceptional youngling, but I cannot take him on as a Padawan no matter how much I may wish that I could. My duty is to look after the clones as they grow and learn - we cannot just abandon them once their war is over. As a Mandalorian you must understand this. However, I would gladlyassist in your quest in any other way I can."
Linear timeline who? Rex can have a mighty white beard and then look spry and blond simultaneously, there is teenager Omega and Boba sitting on his throne on Tatooine, so just don't worry about it XD Have three of my clone OCs as baby cadets and enjoy how cute they are instead.
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adhdandcomics · 1 year
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adding to my tags because i’ve been thinkin a lot about the post i just reblogged and have more thoughts:
i’ll be real, the more i saw ‘hey adhd influencers are so annoying’ the more i worried that i was unconsciously contributing to the spreading reputation of adhd folks as annoying and over-pathologizing every symptom they experience
and then i realized. i am not a goddam influencer or life coach or representative. obviously i have some obligation as someone who cares about myself and the people that like my comics to not spread harmful ideology or blatant misinformation but i never intended myself to be a “’increase your productivity!!’ blog OR a ‘if you have XYZ you have adhd!’ blog. and i do this for fun, and originally started this blog bc i had a lot of internalized shame and self loathing about my adhd and thought if i could make it funny i might have less of that. let’s get real! and it worked!
i’ve obviously done this kind of thing— (hey these symptoms might be adhd!) a lot before in my life & on this blog, but there’s more to it than trying to be an “influencer” or whatever. a term that didn’t even exist when i started this blog!
i felt very isolated trying to find out if i had any mental problems & what have you originally because of large advice (etc) blogs with staunchly anti self Dx views at the time
so i overcorrected when i DID get dxed and tried to validate everyone who was like me. and of course. not the best course of action always for the ol mental health. tried to be the source of positivity and jokes that i didn’t see because the online adhd presence was near non-existent.
and anyway. i make a lot of fun of myself & the way m brain works in my comics obviously but it is not my obligation to... how do you say.... not be annoying online.
because if folks interpret MY little jokes as a strict guide to diagnosis. that’s on them, really, not me. i also believe “making adhd your entire personality” is a non-issue. so what if people find out they have it and get over excited with identifying as adhd. saying this as someone who DID do it. criticism of this gives the same vibes as people being annoyed that young queers make “being queer” their whole personality. im very obviously more than a guy with adhd, and id reckon other adhd comic artists are too. (im friends with a lot of them!) it’s fine to post about it online.
anyway. i just don’t take myself too seriously and i’m a comic artist for myself first! and you know what, i’ve been considered annoying my entire life. what do i care if a few more folks think i’m annoying. neurotypical or not
#i think the article did have some good points especially on the capitalism and marketing angle but i oft think it did venture into#being mad at individual folks who post jokes about adhd. which is literally fine thats what an opinion piece is for lol#i am just very tired of people pretending that a lot of reaction to online adhders is not in itself just an extension of the ableism#we already were facing#'adhd people are so annoying everyone does this youre pathologizing everything' ok and how exactly are you helping.#i hesitate to throw my hat in with hating on adhd tiktok because i am simply not on tiktok and have no way to back up my thoughts#that they may be annoying and oversimplifying a complex disorder on the 'drains your attention span' website.#and i think perhaps the value of each adhd resource varies widely depending on who made it and what theyre even posting.#sometimes its a joke made by a person with adhd. sometimes its sourced and cited research. sometimes its someone discussing their personal#experiences in depth. sometimes its someone talking completely out of their ass. sometimes its THINLY veiled ableism.#its up to the individual to research and determine the value of the memes and resources you seek#anyway. perhaps these points are tough to clarify on sites like insta and twitter. bless.#text#adhd#im punk now#oh and yeah i also agree lots of folks do not talk about the unsavory parts of adhd but rather the funnies and the sillies. but that is#once again a larger capitalism and marketing and ableism problem#r we not talking about them because we are actively trying to infantalize this disorder or is it because we collectively experience a lot#of internalized ableism and hesitate to talk about our worst symptoms for fear of the backlash#weve always gotten about them 🤔🤔🤔#much to consider#if youve read this far sorry for tangent number 56 about this. but also start being more unapologetic about your disorders. fuck it!#<3
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goldkirk · 7 months
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I DON'T HAVE TO LIE ANYMORE!
#I DON'T HAVE TO LIE ANYMORE ABOUT ANYTHING#IT DOESN'T HAVE TO OVERRIDE ALL OTHER PROGRAMMING EVER AGAIN#HA#MY GOD THAT FEELS LIKE TWO DECADES OF RELIEF#and I found out yesterday. that this year. next winter. it IS two decades. exactly. this is the year. every day i am shown new reminders#that keep me going in my mission to relearn to fully and instinctually trust my self#ever since [redacted therapist] asked me point blank and my IMMEDIATE response was complete disbelief#a firm 'you think there's any universe where i'd feel like i could trust myself? after my nonstop history of failures and being horrible?'#tone “No!” of disbelief#and a horrible way-too-harsh laugh that bolted out before I could strangle it off and stop it.#that woman never coddled my feelings any time I spoke something alarming or bullshit and that was so helpful to me#and the tone she let exist in her voice when she responded to me with a very uncharacteristic “Oh Katie.”#was so. so much more agonizing for me. than her responding with an immediate logical slam-dunk of the truth about healthy behavior and stuf#anyway ramble over i'm so tired. i've done so much trauma work this week i am Drained emotionally#now i see what the past several months but especially especially#the baffling (to me) infuriating out-of-control-speedrun-somatic-processing + every-health-condition-flaring slog that December and January#were for me when I hadn't expected anything to be wrong#...and the extremely specific way this certain zone and particular incident kept coming up over and over and over and over and OVER was not#a bug. it was a feature. thank goodness i trust myself for little things now bc that's the only way i was able to get to this other side#and look back and suddenly realize that my subconscious and body knew what they needed and had a plan in progress the whole time. just like#i rationally say I trust them to have and do.#and that perhaps maybe. for real for real instead of just TELLING myself hard enough a lie that i trust my self and i trust my body and tha#they always know their own needs and timing if really slow down and listen to them f u l l y#anyway. yeah. bye haha i need to stop oversharing on the internet#trauma evolution#shh katie#personal#my god. i wished for this day more than i wished for anything else my whole life. all these many many many many years. what magic.#add to journal#abuse
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the-kipsabian · 5 months
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watching old stuff (like, beginning of aew) and this is kips first match of tv/dynamite. the fact that he can hang with the fucking elite says so much of the level of talent he actually has
the crowd is chanting "this is awesome" while hes in the ring, having winning offense against matt jackson
hes being put on notice here. he makes people take a double take. he doing well in a tag match against the elite. he had a banger before with hangman. he won the first ever singles match in aew history
so fucking by god tell me why is kip sabian still overlook, under rated as all hell and not given opportunities to prove himself when back FOUR YEARS AGO he was this fucking good and now hes even better
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lunar-wandering · 1 month
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me; *(spends five hours planning out my courses for the university i just got accepted into this morning, in a way so that im guranteed to succeed and wont leave me burnt out and drained)*
the university: oopsie daisies!! nope, you can't do that!! forever why would we want someone to actually succeed at what they're good at and want to do??? nope!! you gotta remove most if not all of those first year courses and replace them with a larger variety of things for a more diverse learning experience, whether you hold interest or talent in those subjects or not!!!! oh and you gotta do these two courses as well, these are actually required, haha, i forgot to tell you that!
me, now destined to burn out and fail:
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eruditegeek · 3 months
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I feel so disconnected all the time.
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triglycercule · 1 month
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ok ok you dont need to threaten me here's some art ☹️☹️☹️
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appreciate now while you have it because doodles are rare coming from me (only tri-yearly. i cannot doodle for the life of me its hard 🙁)
#say hi to mr. rainbow butterfly pen on the hito mania dust page. he's there to keep it flat. you get to see him as a treat#guys (in particular nobody) let me be fr. i completely came up with the jk!mtt's dynamic because i felt lonely. OK sue me#a person's allowed to project their friendship and socialization need onto their favs ok..... im lonly........#school starts soon time to die i say as i sleep peacefully in my comfy bed#I HAVEN'T DONE MY SUMMER HOMEWORK!!!! AHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#dust is soooo sasuke haraguchi core. he's SOOOO hito mania medicine coded. need dust content i miss him#i was giggling at jk!horror's expression in the bottom one. she is absolutely furious. the rage hidden behind that smile is comedic#this notebook paper is SO FUCKING GOOD OH GOD ITS ALL OVER THE SCREEN 🤤🤤🤤#it's so smooth to draw on i absolutely love it. and it's just soooo delectable i could eat this notebook#this is the notebook i previously mentioned. 2019 me ate this notebook up and now i am too because GODDAMN 😭😭😭#guys im so sorry i had a 4koma for the jk mtt im progress but then i decided to log onto hi3#and then i got distracted for a day. or two. or three. sowwy for not posting :3#drawing the mtt makes me :3 so bad its unreal. i only feel :3 when i see them /srs. they make me :3 they make me prrrr mrrwwwww moewwwwwrrr#killer sans#dust sans#horror sans#murder time trio#bad sanses#bad sans gang#nightmare's gang#tricule art#jk fashion au#guys would someone understand if i said that mtt was ✌️🤘🤙 coded. does someone get it. someone else HAS to understand#mtt and their random ass emojis i associate with them ✌️🤘🤙💙💜❤️✧☆♡🐱🐰🐶 UHHHHHGGHHHHthey are in everything#i forgot jk!dust's hairclips someone shoot me RIGHT NOW!#MY HANDWRITING IS SO ASS WTF#i have to add alt text just because this shit is so ass wtf i need to write properly#why is everything on paper you may ask? well its because drawing on digital is the most draining uncomfortable thing i've ever done. paper#I LITERALLY CANNOT GET USED TO DIGITAL. i just can't. i like having an ipad but i will always be better & more comfy on paper with pencil 🙁
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licorishh · 6 months
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Hey as a super introverted but not shy person I'd just like to say the jokes about extroverts "adopting" introverts to "get them out of their shell" are actually completely unfunny and it just goes to show how little respect a lot of y'all have for the fact that we genuinely don't want excessive social interaction and that y'all are forcing us to do something that brings us extreme physical and mental discomfort because you perceive our introversion as a failing rather than as purely a difference in personality.
We don't need your "help" to socialize. We're not children. We're simply not interested in spending every waking second of our lives talking to people and being talked at in return.
#again i scream from the rooftops that there is a monumental chasm between being shy and actually being an introvert#a shy person is someone who's afraid of social interaction. an extrovert can be naturally shy.#a shy person can WANT lots of social interaction but simply have not learned to feel comfortable in social situations.#people who are just very introverted simply have little desire or capacity for excessive human interaction.#we're not “afraid” of it. we just don't enjoy it and it wears us out.#you don't need to swoop in and save us because we can't handle ourselves. we're perfectly fine thank you#extroverts are constantly demanding that we get out of our comfort zones but few of you are willing to make the alternative more comfortabl#if you're a very extroverted person please do not take it upon yourself to jokingly “adopt” introverts you meet.#it's not funny and it's not helpful. it's irritating that you perceive our quietness and low social battery as something that needs “fixing#we won't miraculously learn to love and be comfortable with excessive human interaction. that's not how we're wired and that's OKAY#i'm honestly getting so sick of the “the lonely introvert and the extrovert who adopted them” memes#i can guarantee you that if you are an extrovert who operates this way then your introvert “friend” is actually probably very uncomfortable#and just don't want to say anything because they think it would be rude to bring up the fact that they don't want what you want from them#this does NOT mean extroverts and introverts cannot be friends nor am i saying all extroverts are annoying or that they all do this#i'm simply saying that if you are very extroverted and you have a friend who's very introverted#then it's on you to be aware of your introvert friend's limited social battery and STOP pressuring them to just “put up with it”#don't spend every second with them constantly talking. be willing to spend some time just in the quiet.#be willing to let them bow out of something if they're exhausted and are low on social energy.#don't expect them to want to come to every meeting or party or get-together because it WILL drain them completely.#be willing to let them spend time alone when they need to to recharge.#letting an introvert cool off and recharge when they need to is ALWAYS going to make social situations less stressful for them.#PLEAAAAASE take their feelings into account and understand that they do NOT perceive social interactions the way you do.#most very introverted people do not find socialization relaxing or invigorating. they don't do it to unwind#they have to unwind AFTER lots of social interaction#that's about it. thank you and good night
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knifegremliin · 2 months
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god i don't understand how people can just go out and do things and not be completely and utterly exhausted when they get back
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angeltism · 8 months
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kinda sorta hate being hyperro because I will actually feel Empty if I do not have an outlet to give romantic love or am not receiving romantic love . like I love love !! in general !!! but my need for romance is so annoying like I can't just Force someone to want me :(
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lesbianlenas · 3 days
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i have been very sociable since starting the new school yr vs last yr where i was like not lmfao & i was wondering why that was bc i was a lot more sociable in college and then after starting law school i was like avoiding ppl again for no reason and having a lot of trouble being like idk normal talking to ppl bc it’s like i get really 😐 and i will not give anything to ppl i’m talking to which is truly not me at all personality wise but it is smth i struggle w…..but anyway i was thinking to myself why am i doing so much better like i am quite honestly being more sociable than i have ever been in my life now when not much has changed & i had just majorly regressed but i think i was just really emotionally drained last yr for several reasons and i know the reason i was like that in high school was bc i was stuck living w my dad & that was so mentally/emotionally draining that doing everything including talking to other ppl was so difficult and i was very closed off to ppl bc of that & i think i was going thru a similar experience of emotional/mental exhaustion last yr that just made me really drained & not able to be normal around other ppl 😭 bc the only thing that is different abt me now from a few months ago is that i have really been able to let go of certain things that have been causing me a lot of mental distress for a while & even tho i have been dealing w depression issues as always i have been in a way better place emotionally even if not so much mentally & i have been able to be so much more comfortable interacting w ppl & being myself & not being so closed off it’s very nice 😌 i actually feel normal now & it is helping w my depression a lot too bc having that issue again was making my depression a lot worse too. but basically i feel like a normal person again after spending the past yr feeling extremely uncomfortable & not in control of myself bc of how i couldn’t make myself act normal & being all closed off even tho i didn’t want to be. so i love that for me 😊
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paperbag1999 · 2 months
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i’m someone who sees things in like constant shades of grey and i quite often try to see the light side of things and i think i’m constantly reminded of all the great stuff i have in my life. also i am full of gratitude all the time and also every time something bad happens to me i’m like yknow what this makes sense🫶 all these bad things suck but they lead to so many amazing things i’m hyper aware of the butterfly effect. so uhm i’m a pretty resilient person if i do say so myself. so today when i came to the realization of OH. i’m having a BAD YEAR!
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angelstrawbabie420 · 2 months
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hmm i think i am not coping. very well
#i feel like ive hit a wall in my ability to handle anything and idk how to hold myself together anymore#i see myself spiraling terribly but i am so exhausted in every single way that i cannot bring myself to care#and it’s going to kill me one day but i cant even care abt that#july was so horrible. so so bad it’s the worst month ive had since my dad’s passing#i feel so incredibly empty and stagnant and stuck i feel like i am in a tar pit and ive been here before#but i no longer have the strength to claw myself out of it#nor the support of others (irl i love u mutuals)#i quite literally only have my brother at this point and with how physically abusive he can become it’s not like that’s a relationship i#truly feel supported and safe in but it’s all i have#ive always been isolated severely by my family + the Issues have always made socialization so exhausting#i feel like im just floating and no one knows me nor cares bc how can they. i either just push people away to avoid getting hurt or i dont e#even try. and when i want to it’s a task so daunting and draining#i don’t have it in me despite knowing the lack of human connection is absolutely destroying me and ripping me to shreds#despite knowing a community of some kind would help#but i also feel like i offer fucking nothing and am worthless so would i even accept the help given to me. probably not#i wish i wasnt so intense of a person in every single way. and yet i will never be enough either#i feel like ive been clinging and digging my claws into my sanity that was not really present in the first place#ive been put through so much i couldnt cope with so repeatedly and so young i think by the time i wqs 10 i had already hit a wall but you#cant just stop living so it’s only compounded on top of that#it feels unhealable it feels like just part of me now.#i see a complete absence of a future for myself and i have no one to stay alive for anymore#not my parents not my pets not my friends and i dont know how to stay alive for myself bc it’s not something ive ever wanted#idk anymore. ive never felt so utterly lost and alone and broken lmao.#no wonder this relapse has been so all-consuming#dlt ltr
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bare1ythere · 1 year
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do you know what its like being so absolutely crushed by everything but everyone around you is doing 10x more? And better? to have to constantly try to make yourself more marketable for a job or grad school? I just can't keep up I can't shake the feeling that I'm going to be left behind
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pepprs · 11 months
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hi im going to leave chicago in a few hours. i don’t want to come home
#purrs#chicago#this trip has been so. SO healing for me. indescribably. and im terrified to lose it when i come back to my home environments and spend#every day going back and forth between home and campus. i know now that i need to do independent things and i#CAN do independent things and i always could. what i don’t know how to do is take that knowledge and apply it to my life at home such that#end up moving out and living by myself asap LOLLLLLL#i have spent so much time wandering. wandered to the art insitute of chicago. wandered on all levels and sides of the riverwalk. wandered#onto the navy pier by COMPLETE accident and it was the first pier ive been on since br!ghton and they had carnival rides and everything and#it started to heal a part of me that was still broken. i don’t know how i can go home now when there’s so much still to explore. i am#terrified to lose this. i haven’t been consumed by depression or anxiety for like 4 days and it has been the biggest hugest breath of fresh#air and i just am so scared to go back to suffocating with no escape in sight until my next conference in june LOL#* i wandered by myself btw. completely alone and only sometimes surrounded by people. and it was so important for me#also like… this was my first time EVER walking in a city all by myself and riding in ubers etc etc. i was so scared remember? but now i am#confident and strong. after 4 days. and i know going home is going to drain me but nothing can ever take this experience away from me.#i can do it. i COULD do it all along. and i will do it again.
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