#* i wandered by myself btw. completely alone and only sometimes surrounded by people. and it was so important for me
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hi im going to leave chicago in a few hours. i don’t want to come home
#purrs#chicago#this trip has been so. SO healing for me. indescribably. and im terrified to lose it when i come back to my home environments and spend#every day going back and forth between home and campus. i know now that i need to do independent things and i#CAN do independent things and i always could. what i don’t know how to do is take that knowledge and apply it to my life at home such that#end up moving out and living by myself asap LOLLLLLL#i have spent so much time wandering. wandered to the art insitute of chicago. wandered on all levels and sides of the riverwalk. wandered#onto the navy pier by COMPLETE accident and it was the first pier ive been on since br!ghton and they had carnival rides and everything and#it started to heal a part of me that was still broken. i don’t know how i can go home now when there’s so much still to explore. i am#terrified to lose this. i haven’t been consumed by depression or anxiety for like 4 days and it has been the biggest hugest breath of fresh#air and i just am so scared to go back to suffocating with no escape in sight until my next conference in june LOL#* i wandered by myself btw. completely alone and only sometimes surrounded by people. and it was so important for me#also like… this was my first time EVER walking in a city all by myself and riding in ubers etc etc. i was so scared remember? but now i am#confident and strong. after 4 days. and i know going home is going to drain me but nothing can ever take this experience away from me.#i can do it. i COULD do it all along. and i will do it again.
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