#idk it just. it makes me sad bc i swear every year i’m like ‘this one will be better’ and the last four have just
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feeling kinda bad bc i did not want to get this behind with posting doctober stuff but also: september and october have both been…really horrible for me? and i’d like the world to Not but yknow. i do not control things. sadly. i have flights this weekend and i’m hoping i’ll get the chance to write but i dunno if the brain will be working
#vent ish#might delete later#idk it just. it makes me sad bc i swear every year i’m like ‘this one will be better’ and the last four have just#progressively gotten worse and worse#and i’m so exhausted#i was able to pick up my sewing today but that’s because i needed to use my hands or i was going to go crazy#i just wish i could rest#between people dying and my health/disabilities and family drama i am just completely drained
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Next to Normal round 3 thoughts:
there’s a lot of things I noticed this time that I didn’t before but that’s just bc as a Natalie stan I must be looking at her the whole time
- I never noticed Gabe throwing Dan’s keys in Just Another Day before that’s SO funny
- I also finally saw Diana kiss Henry, she really WENT FOR IT
- is it just me or does the Wyndhams need to turn up their mics?? Maybe it’s just that I need it In My Ear Canal but I’ve noticed the singing is a bit quiet (I also didn’t notice this in Oklahoma)
- I love Gabe holding the microphones to Natalie and Dan during their I’m Alive dialogue. He might be a demon with the spirit of a dead two year old but he’s sooo silly :D
(this is getting long so more under the cut)
- something something Natalie playing her fake keyboard with the band’s piano behind her, something acting and pretending like she’s a normal person with a normal family
- I just realised that Gabe AND Natalie licks up Diana’s leg. Diversity win
- the parallels of Gabe and Diana reaching out to each other in Im Alive vs Natalie reaching down to her in Wish I Were Here (and maybe Catch Me I’m Falling) i feel sick,,,
- Gabe holding Diana in I Am the One like Henry’s holding Natalie, welcome back Freudian Gabe
- also the head kiss parallel with Gabe in Just Another Day and before he’s about to leave in I Dreamed a Dance
- the blood is so visceral but a part of me misses the bway staging too where they just walk off slowly and as dr madden talks abt Diana’s attempt. It’s basically the same thing but the reveal felt slower idk
- also man every time I miss the donmar staging of the one tiny bit where Dan’s going “Is this helping or? Di?” as Diana just walks off and back to the therapy chair. Idk it just felt like dissociation better to me, but I do like Ominous Circle Of Thinking
- I also love love love how they play the “I love you as much as I can” in this. They play it like a failed charm roll, and you really get everyone’s frustration and that she’s trying hard
- and then in Maybe when you see that Diana actually knows Natalie deeply bc she’s like her,,, hold on. Similarly, I love how the first person Natalie hugs in act two (I think?) is Diana instead of Henry. Me when the real story is between a mother and daughter (mamma Mia who)
- Diana rolling her eyes and mouthing ‘oh my fucking-‘ to Dan going “can you tell me what it is you’re afraid of” is maybe the best representation of anxiety and I’m not even kidding, MOOD Diana
- god I know it’s been in all the productions but I love how much agency Diana has, you rarely see it with mentally ill characters but she’s so funny and knows what she wants and I love her
- everyone’s said it, everyone knows it but JACK WOLFE god he’s amazing every time
- I’ve thought this both times, is it just me or when Gabe is silhouetted (I think with the music box) is his neck like inhumanly thin??? Like genuinely asking, I don’t think that’s Jack’s neck?? Is it?? Am I just misunderstanding human anatomy when someone wears a hoodie
- I’ve said it before but I Am the One reprise is one of the best scenes in musical theatre and it should end there. I’m a Light hater SORRY, I like the message a lot but it’s always felt like a studio note or something where they’ve been told that it has to be uplifting at the end or it’ll do badly and make everyone sad
- natalie,,, covering her ears and her big headphones. Autism. Also really love Eleanor’s portrayal of her anxiety. Instead of Jen’s anger, she has a hamster like anxiety quality to her (complimentary)
- also I swear I see no one talk about it WHEN GABE TOUCHED NATALIE’S HAND??? AND SHE NOTICES SOMETHING??? That’s new for this production right?? Theories???
- Natalie starting to tidy up Gabe’s toys,,, she’s breaking the cycle,, she’s the hope. And playing with them with Henry and showing him the bunny toy 😭
- I’ll say it. The “you’re like number one on my list of problems” doesn’t work that well if you don’t have Jen and Adam’s sarcasm. Too earnest. Banned.
- I’ve said a lot abt this Henry but I actually like this act 2! He plays him v desperate and anxious which I don’t think Adam does, it shows the stakes for act two. Also his arc UGH. From being a Dan parallel where he’s saying he’ll be perfect for her and that he wants who he knew and that he’ll stay anyway because he made a promise to,,, the dance and saying that he’ll stay bc he loves her and he doesn’t care if she goes crazy
- Also I think Natalie mouths ‘help me’ as she stops Henry from walking off in A Promise owwww
- also Henry apologising to the pianist after the recital (I think?) and picking up Natalie’s bag from the club 😭
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hii ronnie i’m usually a silent reader (ig my introverted-ness transcends realms) but i had to tell you that i love love love your writing sm!!! i have to split this up to really encapsulate my experience on your blog 🙂↕️
my first ever interaction with your blog was when your taylor as gojo post came up— specifically king of my heart and speak now … although you’re losing me has to be one of my faves. reading the series as it came out, it was actually mind boggling to me when i realized you also wrote family rules!!
when bsfob sukuna came out i HAD to read it… are u crazy.. i think i’m most attached to him since i now was so active (reading wise) on your blog and really enjoyed each chapter (might’ve shed a tear here and there) the intricacies of everyone’s relationships and their love … im gonna sob.
now.. onto the past THREE days ! i always saw your posts for method acting but never really got around to it, that is, until this week. i started reading it out of wanting a multi-part story and that i knew i’d love your writing as i have so many times before. when i started method acting.. i couldn’t even put my phone down and stayed up the whole night reading half the story and sobbing every chapter (probably beginning at sick with sadness like everyone..) i had never been so hooked at the ending of “historic wins” like wdym they don’t get married and adopt a cat named gerald immediately … WHAT DO YOU MEAN ..this is SICK work. anyways i finished the rest of method acting within the next two days (much to my dismay…) and now im writing this ! i have NOT been the same i don’t think i’ve been so emotional in a while
im so excited to see what you have in store for dream girl, coffee toji and anything else !!! pls don’t ever feel bad about your writing i swear there are too many of us that WILL gobble up anything you throw at us
side note cause i didn’t get to mention him— casual suguru you will ALWAYS be famous 🫂
this whole post might’ve been spurred on by you saying you feel that taylor as gojo doesn’t do as well (interaction wise) and im here to tell You 🫵 to ALWAYS trust in tayppell as gojo anon and ME (and a bajillion others) to have your back !!
oh my goodness!!!! hello my sweet baby <3333
first and foremost, so flattered that you were willing to take the time to get over the nervousness to tell me what you've thought about my writing/blog!!!! I totally get that because...I literally used to be like that...so I literally take it as the biggest compliment that you even took the time to leave this ask
wait this literally gave me the CRAZIEST FLASHBACK. its actually crazy bc family rules and king of my heart...like to this day are some of the most popular pieces that i've ever written...and speak now was LITERALLY the first time I even ever wrote something so those all make me so nostalgic for that time period when i was fighriung out what it was that I liked to write 😭
oh bsfsob sukuna....so insane but I literally pulled up one of the chapters in comments in my therapy session the other day and she was like okay well...if you can write this why can't you understand it and I was like 😃 this is about my boyfriend sukuna girl shut up....but on the real, that fic is/will always be so special to me because there's just so much of me and my own feelings in there that it literally feels like my little baby of hurt feelings that people relate to and get happiness from and its all types of weird and healing and idk
CAT NAMED GERALD IS SO FUNNY FLKDJSALKFDJSLAKF. gerald kills me bc for some reaosn thats the name of the siblings groupchat that I have like we all just named it gerald and now its been like years of that. no because I actually feel that bc I was rereading it the other day to feel somethind and realized how like...I was predicting some stuff that was gonna happen before I wrote it unintentionally...lIKE I WAS UNINTENTIONALLY EASTER EGGING its kind of insane and that fic is just so comprehensive and whole and I love it so much and I don't think i'll be able to write anything as good as that again
you and taypell as gojo anon are my fiercest riders I fear like I think about IT ON THE DAILY. GOJO AS TAYLOR FANS IM TRYING I SWEAR TO GOD
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vent post kinda? or maybe it’s a rant idk just feelings ig AUUGHH
I really REALLY don’t wanna fucking go back to school I’m actually so stressed out. I have like no friends even the ones I do have I haven’t talked to like all summer and this fucking cheer team im on is gonna be the end of me I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD. The girls are so fucking rude I have no ABSOLUTELY ZERO friends on the team nobody fucking talks to me the coaches yell constantly ANDFUCKING SINGLE ME OUTLILE MAAM MISS GIRRL THIS IS SIDELIND FUCKING CHEER IVE BEEN A COM CHEERLEADER FOR OVER FIVE YEARS DO FUCKING TELL ME HOWW TO DO SHIT YOU SAW ME AT NATIONALS DONT DO THIS SHIT TO ME YOU FUCKING WHORE IHATEYOU STOP FUCKING TELLING ME THIS IS HARDER THAN COMP CHEER ITS FUCKING KOR AHEOEBAMDD
I really wanna quit the team but I fucking can’t my parents won’t let me because they’ve already payed for it like I know it costed hella money but don’t you think my mental health and me still being alive matters more DONT YOU THINK THAT YOUR OWN KID YOUR FLESH AND BLOOD MATTERS MORE THAT PAPER WTF ACTUALLY WTF IVE BEEN DOING THIS SHIT FOR YEARS I WANT A BREAK IM SO TIRED OF IT EVERY TEAM IVE BEEN ON THE GIRLS ARE RUDE LAST TAM I WAS ON WAS BETTER BC I HAD MY BEST FRIEND BUT I MOVED AWAY AND NOW INHAVE NOBODY I CANT DO THIS SHIT ANYMORE LIKE I ACTUALLY CANT
MY MENTAL HEATH IS DEGRADING BC OF THIS MY SH PROBLEMS ARE COMING BACK AND I CANT EVEN TELL MY PARENTS BC THEY FUCKING YELL AT ME SAYING THAT IT HURTS THEM MORE THAT IT HURTS ME LIKE HHHUUUUUUUUUHHHHH WTF DO YOU MEAN YOU DICKHEADS WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN I CANNOT DO THIS ANYMORE ACTUALLY WTF
IM SO TIRED OF FEELING THIS WAY I CANT GET AWAY FROM IT SSSIIGH HUGE FUCKING SIGH I JUSST WANT THINGS TO GO BACK TO NORMAL I JUST WANNA FEEL NORMAL BUT I FUCKING CANT IM LOSING SLEEP OVER THIS IM MOT EATING BC IM SO STRESSED ABOUT EVERYTHING
My parents tell me “you’re only a teenager you have the rest of your life to look ahead you don’t need to be stressed about anything” YES I DO YES I FUCKING DO YOU DONT KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO STRUGGLE LITERALLY STUGGLE TO NOT KYS EVERYDAY YOU DONT KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO GET MADE FUN OF FOR HAVING SH PROBLEMS YOU DONT KNOW WHAT UTS LILE TO HAVE UOUR OWN BROTHER RAT ON YOU ABT YOUR SH AND HAVE YOUR PARENTS YELL AT YOU FOR HOURS NOT EVEN HELING JUST YELLING AND MAKING YOU FEEL WORSE ABOUT EVERYTHING
THERES NOT GONNA BE THE REST OF MY LIFE IF THIS SHIT KEEPS UP I CANT EVEN TALK ABOUT IT MY MUM FUCKING LAUGHS IT OFF AND SAYS IM FUL OF SHIT LIKE I CANT HAVE MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES BITCH I FUCKING DO IVE HAD THEM FOR YEARS YOU FUCKING FAG WHY DONT YOU BELIVE ANYTHING I SAY AASUUUGGHHHHAHAKEHKWAOJDLSKALS MAKES ME SO MAD SO FUCKING MAD I CANT PUT IT INTO WORDSAAAAARRRGGGGGGGGAGAGEUJEJEKWKWORJDJN
I actually can’t fucking do this anymore I’m trying so fucking hard not to kms rn I’m so scared to do it but I can’t live like this anymore I can’t even talk about it without being yelled at I need help but I’m scared to talk about it with my parents BIGGEST FUCKING SIGH I HATE EVERYTHING RN I CANT BE HAPPY I CANT BE SAD I CANT DO ANYTHING PLEASE JUST KILL ME NOW IM NOT FUCKING JOKING ITS MY TIME TO GO ITS BEEN MY TIME TO GO IVE SERVED MY TIME ON THIS PLANET JUST FUCKING KILL ME ALREADY ITS NOT THAT FUCKING HARD PLEASE IM BEGGING AT THIS POINT I CANT LIVE LIKE THIS
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MATILDA

pairing: bf!bangchan x reader
genre: angst, fluff, comfort
warnings: reader is anxious, talking about depression, mentions of food, insecurities, swear words, family issues, idk if there’s anything else
a/n: this is my first post aaaaaa, i hope you like it, i decided to do comfort bc it’s my favorite genre, tell me if there’s anything wrong
ᯤ now playing: matilda by harry styles
★ ☆ ★
he had seen it. everything. every time you were anxious, sad, when you felt like everything was wrong. he had seen it, but you didn’t notice. chris really tried to help you, but you just didn’t want help. you thought it wasn’t noticeable, maybe for other people it wasn’t.
but you boyfriend saw everything.
everytime you stated at yourself too long in the mirror, everytime you locked yourself in the bathroom for hours, when you came late from work, when you didn’t have energy to work at all. he did notice. maybe it was time to do something about it.
“are you okay?” his sweet voice asked. you were in front of him, but you weren’t there. you were barely touching the food he spent hours doing even after a whole day at work.
you looked up at him and saw his worried face. “i’m fine” you lied “i’m just sleepy”. you hated to lie to him but you truly didn’t want him to worry. not with everything he had to do at work and the comeback he was preparing. it would be too much.
“you’re not. you seem so distant”
the confidence he used in that sentence surprised you. how could he know it? you’ve been hiding it so well. you probably just couldn’t pretend anymore. “i really am, don’t worry” you smiled at him and he looked down to his plate, empty, while yours was still full. you observed him quietly for a few seconds when he decided to glance back at you.
“when will you stop pretending, y/n?” he said, touching your hand. your eyes opened wide and your mouth did the same to defend yourself, but he interrupted you. “you can lie to everyone, but not to me. please, do not lie to me”
your eyes watered at his words, you were speechless. you couldn’t say anything because he was right. you couldn’t lie to him. he would always find out.
“i…” you tried to formulate a sentence, but the worlds didn’t come out. “i’m sorry” a single tear ran down your cheek. you quickly used your thumb to wipe it, but chris grabbed your wrist and he did it instead. your eyes were connected and you somehow you felt the warmth you’ve wanted to feel all this months. the protection you needed.
“hey, no, no, it’s okay” he said, standing up and walking to you. he leaned towards you and kissed your head. he later took you in his arms and sat on the couch to sit you on his lap. “what’s wrong, baby?”
you tried to explain, but you just couldn’t put the words together, it didn’t make sense. he watched you struggle, and decided to pat your head. “you’re okay, hm? it’s okay, we have all the time you need” he comforted you with a gentle kiss on your cheek and hugged you while you let out more tears. your sobs started to become louder and your breathing quickened. you hid your face in the crook of his neck, his t-shirt started getting wet. “please, talk to me” he asked one more time “what’s wrong?”
“everything is wrong! i-i just can’t do this” you sobbed. he didn’t answer, letting you more time to continue. “life keeps sending me lessons b-but all i want to do is brush my teeth and shower normally… i can’t even do that! i… just can’t.” you vented
“no, you can” he said surely “you’re so strong, you can do it. you might feel like you’re dying but you’re not. it will be fine”
“that’s what i’ve been saying for years now… but it keeps worsening” you tried to catch your breath between your sobs and cries “my family, myself… what it’s wrong with me? why am i like this?”
“like what, y/n?” he asked sweetly, analyzing your face all the time “like horrible!” you yelled, and when you watched his face you tried to calm down. “not even my own family likes me, chris” you whispered.
“let it go. it’s not your fault. you can let it go, love” chris said, connecting his eyes with yours. “it is-“ you were interrupted by him “no, it is not. it’s been years and it hasn’t changed because you don’t want to let go. you don’t feel capable and keep punishing yourself. but i don’t believe that time will change your mind. in other words, i know they won’t hurt you anymore as long as you can let them go”
“but i’m so sorry for them…” you tried your words to make sense, but they just didn’t.
“you don’t have to be sorry for leaving and growing up. anywhere you go, you don’t need a reason ‘cause they never showed you love. y/n, you don’t have so be sorry for doing it on your own”
after half an hour of crying, your breathing calmed down and his arms felt more comfortable than they ever had. your eyes felt heavier each time and chris noticed. though your cheeks were still wet and you eyes were still red, something felt different. you felt better, your chest didn’t hurt anymore, it was easy to breath. chris kissed your face sweetly and when you smiled at him, he did the same.
“my beautiful girl” he whispered next to your ear. “let’s go to sleep” he then lifted you up and carried you to your bedroom. he grabbed one of his sweaters and put it on you, to later open the bed and get you inside.
“thank you. i’m sorry” you sighed. “you don’t have to be sorry” he said gently, to kiss your face multiple times and later cuddle with you
“i love you” you muttered. you waited for an answer for a few minutes until you gave up until you focused on sleeping.
“i love you more”
@ straycidio 230709
#bang chan#bangchan fluff#bangchan angst#skz angst#skz fluff#skz imagines#skz scenarios#skz x reader#stray kids#skz#bangchan x reader
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dropping my lore bc i’m bored and want a recap
i will like always wonder why me and my parents never had a healthy relationship w eachother. idk if it was bc my parents js decided to split up when i was only 4 or what but i kinda never had a good relationship w either of them…🤔
when i was younger (like i said, 4), my parents split up and i wanted to be w my mom more bc i love my mom and when i was around 7 she got a bf and had my brother, wtv. but a year or 2 after having my brother they started having issues and argued literally almost every chance they got and it was bc of smth dumb i swear. and then my mom js disappeared to oklahoma from 2017-2021 and i quite literally didn’t know what was happening. at the time i was living with my dad so yeahhh
and i didn’t like living with my dad bc i was always scared of him and i was always intimidated by what would happen if i got a bad grade and to this day im lowk still scared to ask for help w anything. whether its grades or anything bc when i was in 1st grade my dad wanted me to be an overachiever. so everyday after school i obvi had hw and i sat in the living room w him and he’d help me. i think u can assume what would happen everytime he got mad but if its not obvious, he’d yell, sometimes smack me, and lowk be messing up my hw paper. so like id obviously be scared of him
when my mom came back from oklahoma or wtv i went back w her but the apartment i was living w my step dad, brother, and mom, was literally empty, like they ditched it when my mom came back. and my mom literally went crazy for awhile. and to sum up her crazy was basically going to court often, filing kidnapping papers(cs my step dad took my brother too when they ditched the apartment), and not being able to provide a good childhood since she had no money. so i was an basically an akward 10 year old at the time both scared of my parents. when i was 10 or 11 i was in the car w my mom and she was kinda js talking on the phone and i don’t remember what it was abt but i told her like “i got sa’d by grandpa” and when i told her she was obviously surprised and im time skipping a little but she asked her dad which is the grandpa and overall, nothing was charged bc i had no proof and bc it happend a long time ago when i was 4.
my dad was an overall good guy w a bad temper so yeah when he’d get mad he would be really really mad. but i’m glad he’s a changed guy and i could talk to him sometimes.
my mom is doing okay now too. in 2022 she got a truck driving job so good for her. but i hate that i can’t even have the mother daughter relationship like other girls my age. like yeah i wanna tell her all the drama at school, yes i wannna trust her with my relationship status and who i like, but i can’t without her telling my dad. so BOOM trust a little broken. but it’s so uncomfortable at her house when i go over on weekends because i just feel like a roommate bc she makes me pay for my own stuff. like when we go out i pay for my own food and clothes and wtv, and restaurants too. so i kinda js get sad when i think abt it bc i kinda js wanna be treated like her kid instead of a grown up. and it honestly doesnt make it better that my brother gets her undivided attention and all i get was a good job. not trying to sound ungrateful but yeah. at first when i was able to see her, she tried to bribe me with gifts as if to be won over by it but i js wish i had a childhood.
me and my dads relationship is okay. we arnt close but we talk, but he doesn’t get me like that. like i wish my mom could js listen and give me advice as if we been bsf for years.
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what do we think about the posible sanctions against Barcelona for the payments to Negreira? I know the media does it 10x times bigger than it is but they say the international sanctions could be along the lines of them being out of champions and europa league for years, and for the local sanctions them being out of the first league and down on second division. Also real madrid is possible going to take a side AGAINST barca legally
Here is my take on all: if proven guilty they should be punished yes, but the club not the players, the sanctions should be for the administrative part since they are the ones who are involved (?), the players usually don't know what happens on those areas of the club, it's not like the players take part on those reunions.
Also if proven innocent it's would be really upsetting, like today hours before the match Real Madrid called a meeting to discuss the position they are gonna take on this legally (and we all know they are not gonna chose barca side) it's obvious that this affects emotionally on the players and all the team behind them, affecting the performance of the team.
That's my Ted talk than u for listening hahah
This is what I think. Part of me wants to believe that the evidence, or lack of, will show this is all a show to try and get Barça to lose focus. They could have brought it up at another time but they bring it now. All people are saying is “take points away” bc of course if they take our points away then Real is at the top 🙄.
I think it’s so dumb that Real made this whole meeting before the game. I know they’re trying to play with our heads. Today in San Mames they were yelling about Barça going to second division and had printed out money … you think the fans took the time to do that? I honestly feel like this is such a media thing but idk.
If it turns out to be true, and say Barça goes down to 2nd division then La Liga will turn to shit. As it stands right now, without Barça then the difference between Real and Atleti is 11 points, mind you Atleti still plays tomorrow so this difference could shorten. But I’m sure if that’s how the standing was Real fans wouldn’t be talking about fraud as they are now.
I agree that it would be so sad/unfair for the current players. I would like to say sanction the team as an administration but I doubt the money is there right now for the team to not be affected by something like that. I imagine we would have to sell players to afford the payment etc.
I really hope soon we can just laugh about this bc I swear it makes me want to cry every time I see people talk about it.
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i’m about to start crying over y ex wtf i’m too stoned for this rn .⁉️ but literally feel like he will never ever realise how much the shit he did hurt me and the fact that he always just acted like he never fucking cared. but it’s not his fault, it’s probably just an experience that was meant to happen for me i guess 😂😂 universe wanted to really make sure i end up turnin like jade or something anyways. i still care about him and i think i always will, i just wish he knew how the things made me feel too, and it hurts my feelings he didn’t care enough to even try fix things he was just like ok well i never have to see u again anyways stupid cunt and ur hot friends are still here so win win 😜😜😜😜 he didn’t say that but i bet u that’s like the train of thought anyways, i still care about him obviously. i think i always will like no matter what he does or how long it’s been since we’ve seen each other i’ll always care about him, but i will just like make sure he’s okay from a very far away, i check if he’s still following me on pinterest every once and a while to make sure he doesn’t fully not give a fuck abt me because then i will be sad because i still care about him and would like help him if he ever needed idk imagine like an emergency situation sorry i’m really stoned and am just really enjoying typing but it’s really hard to stay focused on trying to write down my thoughts and feelings and yassss i’m actually so excited for tomorrow i’ve never been to a guys house other than my ex. that also makes me mad bcs how come he gets so many bitches and i get none like where are the hoes at am i right like, i need him to give me some pointers or like tips on how to talk to new people i hate having to meet new people it’s awful and i’m just painfully awkward most the time it’s literally shameful ugh anyways yasss my first hoe but i’m very nervous because ive literally never even had a conversation with him like hes literally never even been like hey how are you ????? but it’s fine i know what he looks like and where he lives and. i know he’s not a 40 year old man ok don’t fret but i’m really scared hes gonna wanna fuck bcs i’m late for my period bcs eatin disorders am i right i habe no idea when it will come back anyways YEAH so i’m not around ovulation bcs i have kinda temporarily fucked all that up ANYWQYS yeah so bro better have lube and condoms kiddinf i am not fucking a random guy sorry and no matter who i fuck or how long i’ve known them lights off ❌❌❌❌❌❌ i’m literally a virgin but for if it happen, actually i feel weirdly insecure about being a virgin because like i don’t know i feel like a nun but also the fact i’ve never done it makes me nervous and i really don’t like the idea of having to be naked with somebody else sorry i literally cannot stand my limbs and i also feel like i would somehow have an ugly fanny so nobody is EVER seeing my fanny, never ever letting anyone eat me out sorry that actually sounds awful bcs brutha WHAT IF I SMELT VAD OR TASTED FUNNY or what if i had a hairy but crack??? or a no what if my flaps are too small or too big like no absolutely not anyways sorry idk why i just started talking ahout all of that i’m still fretting ahout what to wear i’m literally just going to his house so i feel like purple shorts would work BUT i fucking hate my legs and what if he is like jump scared by how i look irl and what if he didn’t realise i had such funny looking body oh my lord 🙈🙈🙈🙉🙈🙈 what the freak bro anywys i’m getting doordash hungry jacks is supposed to be here and i’m trying to eat a bit this evening because i’m fuckin constipated and i really cant be constipated tomorrow afternoon bcs ?!!!! no absolutely not now i’m really scared that i have head lice bcs today i nit treated my friends hair bcs she got nits from a 2 year old literally stay away from all children’s heads and also i literally am at a daycare two days a week and i swear to god i can feel shit crawling omg wtf is happening ok no nevermind i do not have head lice i was geekin anyways new chains same shackles is so good mwah
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hey i know request are closed but this idea just got stuck in my mind and i wanted you to write sum about it if you like it 😭 so basically its an enha reaction/scenario ? where they forget your birthday, (maybe not in a bad way but i dont mind if its angst) hope ur good btw !! <3
a/n : OMG WAIT SRY TO ALL THE OTHER REQUESTS BUT THIS ONE FOR SUM REASON REALLY STUCK OUT TO ME i hope you enjoyyy ;) also I wrote so much I’m so sorry- [not really read proof~]
Also i am well ty for asking >.<
ₓ˚. ୭ ˚○◦˚.enhypen imagine ˚◦○˚ ୧ .˚ₓ
Enhypen forgetting your bday~
Genre : angsty ish
Warnings : mentions of food, crying, one swear word??
Requested : yes ty beautiful person ;)



Heeseung :
Okay okay so its your birthdayyy and you were really excited for what to happen because you wanted to see what kind of surprise your boyfriend did for your birthday
But to your luck he forgot :(
So you spent all day giving him hints like ‘what day is it’ and at one point you gave up and started pouting really hard
And your face was just overall sad everyone else had remembered your birthday including the members, but for your boyfriend to forget it lowkey hurt
Almost half the day passed and he still didn’t remember
So you ended up going into the room by yourself and started to cry
Your whimpers got louder and louder even though you were trying your best to stay quiet so he doesn’t hear
A few minutes past by and heeseung started looking for you because he sensed something was wrong.
He looked on the calendar really really carefully and FINALLY he came to his realization that it was your birthday but it was kinda too late cuz you hid yourself in your room to cry.
He came into your room to wish you a happy birthday but he sees you curled up into a ball crying to yourself
He felt so bad after this happened, “IM SO SORRY IM SO SORRY PLEASE FORGIVE ME I WONT EVER GORGET AGAIN!”
He hugs you so tight as if your life depended on it, won’t leave you out of his sight for the rest of the day. You’ll be hearing a lot of hbds and ilys for the rest of the day~
^ so yeah 🤕
Jay :
I feel like it’s rare that he forgets these type of dates buut for the sake of tumblr lets pretend he completely forgot 😧
You woke up in a great mood because it was your birthday of course
You were expecting to be receive a hbd wish from your boyfriend, but nope nothing all morning.
You received a bunch of hbd wishes on Instagram and other platforms mentioning you, but none of them were from jay :(
You quickly got frustrated and because it was your birthday and your bf the person you love most didn’t remember really hurt
So gradually your face became wet from heated silent tears. But unlike heeseung he would super quickly notice because he’s on his phone a lot and he dates things like ‘y/ns bday’ (idk but I imagine him dating things on his phone)
He’d then be like OH SHIT ITS YN’s BD
Runs to you soooooo quick just to see your face red and a bit wet.
Once your eyes connected your tears started to come out quicker
He literally runs up to you to hug you HAPPY BIRTHDAY DARLING I LOVE YOU SO MUCH IM SO SORRY I FORGOT
After he said that he ran away from you leaving you alone, which made your heart drop thinking that he didn’t care.
But once you finally came out of your room you were greeted with a homemade delicious cake your boyfriend made for you that looked like this
You could tell he felt really bad bc usually he always had a smile on his face while cooking but this time it was a ‘I’m sorry’ face
“I’m really really sorry please forgive me”
All was forgiven bc the cake tasted so mf ing good
Jake :
It was your birthday today, a day that only came once a year so like any other human being it’s a special day for you
You were super excited to see what Jake did for you, because every birthday you had with him was always such a surprise
But today was sort of… different? :(
You saw jake in the living room on the tv and went straight up to him with a smiley face. “GOOODMORNINGGG” 😁
After cuddling for a while on the couch you lifted up your head and asked him If he knew what day it was, he just replyed with a simple Wednesday? With a confused face
I’m pretty sure that one word was enough to make you pretty upset 😅🥲
You started to pout and went back into his chest with a disappointed face.
“Ahh what what, what day is it tell me?” He said playfully, not realizing it was your birthday.
You stayed silent as he checked his phone, ‘y/n’s birthday don’t forget’
When i tell you he gasped he GASPED.
You were already in the verge of tears “IM SO SORRY HBD BABY”
You were still a bit upset at him so you replied with ‘did you really need your phone to tell me what day it was’ 😕
He hugs you tighter while mumbling ‘hbd hbd hbd’
Suddenly let you go of his arms and said he had an errand. Without any explanation he got his car keys to go somewhere leaving you and your thoughts by yourself.
‘Does he not love me anymore that he doesn’t even want to spend time with me on my birthday? ☹️😭”
A while later he comes back and you’re luckily still on the couch where he left you
^^this dude came back with three beautiful cakes from your local cake stores. “I’m bacccckkkk!! please forgive meeeee you know i love you with all my heart 🥺” (okay i hate to use this emoji but there isn’t any other way to describe it TT)
You obviously forgave him because you know it was never his intention to forget,,, “you owe me hugs and kisses for the rest of the day :(“ kindly accepts your request because that is something he’d never complain about #freecuddlesfromyn
Sunghoon :
Okay but like hear me out he’s the type of boyfriend that would ‘pretend’ he forgot your birthday but he actually didn’t
So when he ACTUALLY forgot you just thought he was joking until…
“Hooonieeee, stop joking around I’m seriouss”
“I’m serious too i seriously don’t know what day it is”
“What…”
You leave him for a bit alone with his thoughts, not even gna lie if he did end up forgetting your bday it would take him a while to remember it
But once he remembers he feels so bad 😭
Tackles you with so many hugs and bday kisses and showers you with I’m sorrys and hbd wishes
genuinely ask himself how he forgot the lohls birthday (love of his life’s) literally beats himself for it
And you have to tell him that it’s fine and that you forgive him~
Brings out the birthday cake and sings you a happy birthday song while clapping and laughing.
Puts cake on your nose
Sunoo :
Idk if he’s the type to forget but like jay I don’t think he’d forget
I feel like to him birthdays are the MOST special thing/ date for a person
Like obviously the rest of the members think that but especially sunoo really like sticks to this
So if he had forgotten your birthday you were sooo hurt you ignored him the whole day keeping your distance until he finally remembered
Once he remembered he went to go find you ASAP where you were hiding int he corner of the bedroom moping
He showers you with hugs cuddles kisses pecks, you name it he does it
He feels so bad that he could forget smtg like this, literally asks himself how he could forget such an important date
If the convenience store was still open he’d run to the nearest store and surprise you with a birthday cake. But not just any cake it’d be a cake that was decorated by the one and only Kim Sunoo
Would prepare it so nicely and even have a lit up candle so you can wish on it.
the type to surprise you with it even though he forgot. Brings it to your room while singing the hbd song.
Puts cake frosting on your nose #2, takes lots and lots of pictures to post on insta later
caption : “happy birthday sunshine~”
Jungwon :
he was on the couch as per usual just scrolling through his phone to keep himself occupied but also updated
Not knowing what day it was,,,,,,,
you come outside of your bedroom excitedly to expect a wishful happy birthday wish from the person you love most
But for some reason it oddly seemed like a normal day
“Wonnniiieee my loveeee, guess what day it is!” You said with a sheepish smile
“Hmm wednesday?” He said looking up at you with a calm face
Your happy smile soon became a little pout
“You really don’t know?”
“Isn’t it just a regular Wednesday? Why is there something special?”
oh my- he broke your heart right then and there
You run back into your room because you feel heated tears about to fall, even though it was something small the thought of him not remembering your birthday the day of your birth hurt. A little.
Jungwon was actually super clueless he genuinely didn’t know what day it is but something about you seemed off and the way you ran to your room was quite odd to him so he went and followed you
Before he opened the door he already heard small whimpers from the corner of the bed, and that immediately triggered him and he was about to beat up anyone that made you feel sad 😠 little did he know it was him who made you feel that way
“Baby what’s wrong? Why are you crying”
He holds your chin and turns it to get a better look
wiping your tears with his thumb, you were being a dramatic his giggles make you feel a bit better even though you were mad at him for forgetting
“You forgot my birthday.” You said to him while crying
You can literally see the gears in his brain start to turn when his face went from 😄 -> 😳
“IM SO SORRY IM SO SORRY” hugs you so tight that you literally can’t breathe
Doesn’t know what to do to make you feel better, “I’m really sorry for forgetting your birthday, I don’t really know what got into me, please forgive me.”< cue the cutest kitty puppy eyes
He kept on rambling on abt how he was sorry and deserves your forgiveness you literally had to shut him up, he was sorry please forgive him >~<
Cuddles you for the rest of the day
Niki :
He was playing video games normally on his phone, until you excitedly stormed into his room “hiiiii babbbbyyyy”
“Well someone is happy today :)”
“Well of course bc u know what day it isss ;)”
“Wednesday?”
😧😦 < that’s what you looked like when he didn’t know, “you really don’t remember?”
“hmm I’m not too sure” he said before going back to his game
you slowly became disappointed and just ‘celebrated’ your birthday by yourself in the kitchen. :,((
he didn’t notice that you were sad at first bc he was busy playing on his phone, around an hour later he went to the kitchen to get a snack when he sees you in the kitchen staring into space rested your chin on you arm.
‘Are you okay? You seemed fine earlier’
You decided to play the silent game and just avoided him... so he tried to get you to talk to him but after a while it didn’t work so he sort of gave up and went to ask his hyungs what’s wrong with you.
“Niki,,, it’s y/n’s birthday omg did you forget??????” Jake said texting niki
and that’s when the lightbulb in his brain turned on
He rushed to the kitchen and back hugged you so tight and gave you so many cheekie kissies to try and make up for ‘forgetting’
But to his luck you were still mad at him
Soooo he came up with the idea of going to the convenience store really quick to get you a bunch of flowers and a nice cake to surprise you~
You ended up forgiving him because he was tickling you threatening you to forgive him
N knowing Niki he’s not a person you can be mad at for long <3
#enhypen#enhypen imagines#enhypen jay#enhypen scenarios#enhypen jake#heeseung#jake sim#lee heeseung#enhypen x reader#jungwon#enhypen x oc#enhypen x female reader#enhypen x gender neutral reader#enhypen x y/n#enhypen x you#heeseung imagines#heeseung scenarios#jay imagines#jay scenarios#jake imagines#jake scenarios#sunghoon imagines#sunghoon scenarios#sunoo imagines#sunoo scenarios#jungwon imagines#jungwon scenarios#niki imagines#niki scenarios
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When December comes | Hendery

✦ Hendery x reader x Lucas ✦ Fluff, Smut, Angst, Royalty AU, Nutcracker AU ✦ 3/5 for HOLIDAY SERIES: Once Upon A December
Summary: As an adopted legitimate princess and future queen of two kingdoms, you grew up proving yourself that you deserve the role that has given to you. Nothing is simple about being an adopted princess but being arranged to marry Prince Hendery turned your life upside down.He left you, eventually. And by the time he came back to your life, you have a loving boyfriend, and Prince Hendery…. is arranged to be married to your sister now.
Word count: 8,690k
Warnings: adopted reader (if thats triggering at any point, please click away) A lot of smut, unprotected sex, mentions of sex, swearing, mentions of other idols, fingering, mentions of rough sex, heavy cheating, major character death
A/N: PURE FICTION. This is a love triangle fic but not much focused to Lucas, more on Hendery. Inspired by a bunch of royalty movies, especially princess diaries, Nutcracker (ballet), inspired by the song Satisfied from Hamilton. Love writing for Hendery so much. Check my recent post for Hendery’s thirst photos whahaha, as per Lucas character here idk I always see him as sweet and lovable and he always knows what to do. The guy has serious good leadership skills if you haven’t’ notice and i think its sexy. I’m glad this didnt reach to 10k bc u know me i hate my works being long af haha enjoy reading mwa!
For @jeongyoonohs sorry it took me so long to finish this :( But this is for you!
OPENING
Once upon a time, in a kingdom not so far away, ruled by a king and queen who can’t have a baby no matter how many times they’ve tried. The sad news spread all over the kingdom and caused chaos everywhere mainly because they were scared for the fall of their beloved kingdom.
But the king is wise. He made an alliance with the kingdom of his truest friend and together they helped each other’s kingdom by making an agreement. “I can’t have a child, but my queen and I have decided to adopt a baby girl,” the king says to his fellow king.
“And my wife is carrying a baby boy”
“It’s settled then. My adopted daughter will be arranged with your son, and someday be married to each other” They shook hands and made the agreement official by sealing it with their signatures and royal seals in front of their queens.
The kingdom that lost their trust with their king is now calmed relieved after hearing the great news of the two kingdoms having an alliance. And to fully earned their trust again, they searched far and wide for a baby girl that will soon be the future of their kingdom.
“And that baby girl is you my darling” your grandfather finishes his bedtime story to you. Caging you in his strong arms, cradling you like you’re truly related by blood. “Grow up as a fine woman and save this kingdom” he added. You embraced your grandfather back and smiled so sweetly at him, tracing his handsome features… then you remembered.
“Tell me the story about the Nutcracker prince,” you singsong to him. He doesn’t tell you the original story, but instead, he always tells you his version and it’s always better. His embrace became tighter, then he looked at his expensive watch to check how many minutes does he have left.
“Okay. I only have a few minutes left, princess” He started by introducing the Nutcracker prince to you which is actually magical because even though you’ve heard of this so many times it never gets old and you’re always excited to hear it again.
He described the prince as a soldier like him, but a younger version he says with a giggle. And that Nutcracker slash prince slash soldier is made specifically for you so that one day, the two of you can rule two kingdoms all at once. “Why do I need a prince?” you pout, and your grandfather is startled by your question.
“Well, jeez, I don’t know. I’m sure you can still be a fine queen without a prince, right?” he says while tucking you in and preparing you for bed. “But let’s just say that princesses like you need a proper man like the Nutcracker because… grandfather will not always be by your side” of course he can’t mention death to you, no, you’re too young to know about these things. So he kissed you goodnight on your forehead and promise to see you early in the morning again.
Growing up as an adopted princess was never easy because the eyes of a judging kingdom have always been against you and your family. That’s why as you grow up, you swore to yourself that you will prove them wrong and that you are the future of this kingdom. At a very young age, you made your parents proud of your gift of leadership and continue to make them proud by doing great in school.
Until one day, the queen finally got pregnant.
The kingdom became so busy about the queen’s pregnancy and literally, every person is excited about your baby sister. You were only nine years old and you were innocent as you can be so you don’t know that the attention is slowly shifting to your baby sister. You didn’t mind of course, again, you were just a kid. But as you grew older and older you can finally foresee a life behind the shadow of your baby sister. The real princess. It’s like she took everything from you… but whenever you remember that you’re adopted, it seems like she’s just taking what’s originally hers in the first place.
Today is your thirteenth birthday and you celebrated it with your grandfather in an amusement park. He is the only person left in your life who can see you as a rare gem and you’re thankful for him. As you walked around the busy park, with a few bodyguards on your sides, you and your grandfather laugh and laugh while you’re eating hotdogs on a stick.
“Your father told me that you refused to have a ball for your thirteenth birthday? Why?” he asked while enjoying his food.
“I’m not a real princess grandfather, I don’t deserve a ball. And besides, riding that scary rollercoaster is better than dancing with a bunch of princes whom I don’t know in the first place, and playing dress-up the whole night”
“Hmm. Don’t you say that you’re not a real princess, there was a Y/n before your baby sister. And the kingdom is still looking forward with you ruling us someday because you’re older than your sister and you’re still a legi-“
“timate daughter, I know, I understand grandfather thank you for reminding me” you wiped the ketchup on his lips and smiled at him, “What will I do without you? I hope that my Nutcracker prince is exactly like you. Wise and strong”
“Don’t worry about that darling, you’re still young, and I’m still here” he giggles and walks you towards that scary rollercoaster ride.
ACT 1
Things slowly change around the castle and you learned to distant yourself from your parents but not forgetting your duty as a first born and legitimate adopted daughter of the king and queen. And as you enter royal high school, you thought that your life will get uglier but no. Surprisingly, school made you feel alive and less of a princess and more like a future leader.
But most importantly, you finally met your Nutcracker. Prince Hendery.
Usually, prince and princesses meet for the first time during a royal ball, soiree, or a simple lunch at the palace’s garden grounds. But you and Prince Hendery, met in the school hallway for the first first time. It is as if your whole world slowed down, every student walked in slow motion while you and Hendery locked eyes on each other. And the best part is, he did not know that you’re the princess who’s meant to be forever with him.
At first, you don’t talk to each other and just simply exchange smiles and glances from time to time whenever you cross paths in the hallway, eating at the cafeteria, or ‘reading’ at the library. You thought it wasn’t fair that you know everything about him but he doesn’t even know what you look like.
“You know I’ve been flirting with this princess for months already, do you know her name?” Hendery whispers at his fellow prince, Xiaojun, and told him to take a look at where you’re seated. Xiaojun then scoffed at his friend and playfully slapped Hendery’s face knowing that he is completely clueless about who you are.
“I don’t know if you’re always going to be this dumb, you’re going to be a king someday. Anyway, that princess is Y/n. The Y/n” and that is all it takes to make Hendery realize that he has been flirting with his soulmate for weeks now.
From there on the prince has become bold with his gestures. Sitting with you during breaks, even flirting with you in front of your friends and his friends. Prince Hendery has the most beautiful smile you have ever seen, hair is black and soft and you bet it smells good either, he was tall but just right for your height. Not only he was perfectly handsome, but he is a gentleman too. In other words, everything about him screams prince charming.
You and prince Hendery were the talk of royal school. Everyone knew about your arrangement and the alliance of your kingdoms. You even hear people talk on the hallways that you’re literally made for each other that’s why everyone envied you.
“Let’s grow up first, okay?” Hendery says, giving you a single rose during your school’s Valentine event. A simple gesture that says there's no need to rush on being in a relationship and make everything official between the two of you but also, it was a subtle move to show everyone that you already belong to each other so there should be no competition.
You fell in love with each other from a distance, not rushing through love, taking your time, and enjoying your youth because you have a lifetime together. Although, Hendery likes reminding everyone that you’re his in the most subtle way, may it be hugging you in public, kissing your cheek before you go home, and smiling your way whenever he sees you around the school.
From freshman year until your senior year, you and Hendery waited until you’re both legal of age to finally make it official. The news was all over the TV, tabloids, articles, and magazines that you’re in love with each other. It was a cute high school sweethearts story and every day was perfect.
Senior year just started and you and Hendery decided to study together but the planned study session became a make out session, giggling and cuddling in his bed while still wearing your uniforms. The prince was looking at you, admiring your pretty face touching your features softly then suddenly he noticed that he can almost see your breast. He looked away, of course. And covered his head with one of his pillows as he groans in frustration.
“What? Why?” you asked, completely clueless. He didn’t answer you, instead, he covers your exposed skin with a small pillow. “Oh shit, I’m sorry” you apologized immediately and became shy like him too.
“It’s okay. If I’m being honest I wanted to touch you but, I knew better than that. Can we promise to be each other’s first and last?”
“You mean sex?”
“Exactly, sex”
“Only if we seal it with a kiss,” you bite back in a flirty tone, looking at his pink lips that are slowly coming closer to you. When your lips touched, you returned the kiss and swing your arms around his neck, situating him accidentally in between your legs. Skirt lifted and all. Your bodies are becoming warm in an instant and you both know you need to stop before you make wrong decisions.
“How's that for a promise? Let’s get married when we grow older and have sex every day” he bit the shell of your ear, making you giggle and laugh with him. Being this horny with each other is normal, you thought. You are both young and full of passion, and it amazes you how Hendery wanted to wait until you get married and be kings and queens.
Senior year is perfect. Every day.
Until one day, Hendery’s father died and he stopped coming to school. You hear different kinds of gossip every day. 'Is he a king now? That's why he's not coming to school?', 'School is boring for king Hendery now', 'Are they gonna be married soon?', 'Are they even ready to rule yet?'. Again, you were the talk of the nation. The headline ‘Prince Hendery left Princess Y/n’ was everywhere and you can't do anything about it. You weren’t hurt that he left everything, you were more worried because maybe he’s all alone and grieving. You wanted to ask his family but you respect their privacy.
“So he just left?” you told your grandfather everything. He just came back from his cruise around the world and you’re happy to see his visible tan lines, for sure he had a great time.
“Yep, just like that grandfather,” you walk shoulder to shoulder around the palace’s garden, looking at the flowers and harvesting some fruits.
“Well, I’m sure he had his reasons. Just stretch your patience my darling, you know what they say, love is patience” he pats your hand before picking a lemon. “Enough about the prince, I heard you are making quite an impression now. The king is beyond impressed” he was talking about your win, elected student body president. Apparently, it’s a big deal for your father, because, during his stay in royal school, he was elected as president too.
“I didn’t try too much, I think I won because of my popularity and not because of my leadership skills” you once again doubted yourself but of course, your grandfather is here to straighten you up.
“Show them you’re both. Popular and a great leader”
It was always a good talk with your grandfather, but whenever you remember that Hendery is not with you anymore it automatically makes you sad. You missed him. So much.
ACT 2
But even though you missed Hendery and it’s like he took a part of your heart and brought it with him, life goes on. You faced Senior year and showed everyone your perfect smiles like nothing is bothering you. But at night, when you’re all alone, you just can’t help but look at your pictures with Hendery on your phone and miss him.
Life goes on.
With or without your prince.
You studied day and night, kept your eyes on the prize, and busy yourself until your heart is finally healed. You waited for him of course, you waited long and hard but you can’t wait forever.
As you continue to know yourself, get involved with a lot of organizations in college, your journey has become even more thrilling when you met Lucas. He’s not royalty nor does he came from a rich family, he’s “just a man who’s brave enough to ask a princess on a date” his exact words.
Lucas is a whole new adventure to you. He’s the epitome of new things and new experiences. But your favorite thing about Lucas is, he can make you forget that you’re a princess even just for a few hours. He made you happy every day because he never forgets to tell you that being happy is the most important thing in this world. He loves you with every part of his being. And he’s ready to face your world and be with you in every step until you become queen.
“N-no I don’t want to be king. I can be your butler and still love you for all I care” he covers your naked body while you both come down from your highs. Tonight is one of those nights that you can be with Lucas without having your bodyguard. He was praising you during sex, calling you ‘princess’ or ‘my queen’ whenever he thrust and pushes you on the edge, so you asked him a stupid question if he wants to be king. “I just want to be with you, people may see me as a gold digger once the news that you have a commoner boyfriend comes out, but we both know that’s not true right?”
“Of course, not” you embraced him and apologized for the question, hiding your face on his chest. You feel his big hands caress your back to comfort you and soon plant kisses on your temple. He’s always sweet and gentle like this. If only people would see the kind of person Lucas truly is.
“But what if he comes back? What will happen to us?” he was talking about Hendery. When Lucas knew that you’re arranged to be married to Hendery, he didn’t take it lightly. He was mad but not to you. You didn’t talk for weeks and you’re both heartbroken, but Lucas realized that it's better to love you fiercely now than waste his time worrying about the future.
“I will talk to my father, don’t worry about that. Wong Yukhei don’t you trust me?” you kissed his chest to put him back in the mood and change the subject. Of course, he can’t say no to you.
After getting your degree in college, you started working for the king and queen, spearheading foundations, and knowing the kingdoms that you’re going to rule someday. Remember when you thought your parents will forget about your existence because they had your sister? Well, that didn’t happen. Your parents were proud of everything you’ve achieved and they wanted your sister to follow in your footsteps.
Slowly, you proved to them that you don’t need a king to rule this kingdom. Introducing Lucas to your parents did not go well at first but eventually, they saw that you and Lucas are happy with each other despite having different worlds.
Still, they want to keep your relationship hidden.
It’s Christmas Eve and you’re all dressed up right now, ready to shake a lot of hands and dance with a bunch of princes and dukes and god know what else but you can’t help but take care of a few things before you enjoy this night. You were signing some last minutes contracts and reading proposals when you heard a soft knock from your door, “S-sorry. Come in” you see your boyfriend dressed up in a tux, looking so handsome. He smiled at you before he enters and closed the door behind him, “well you look dashing” you put your pen down and crossed your arms.
“I’m here to pick you up your majesty, the guests are waiting downstairs and your grandfather-“
“Oh he’s here! Perfect!” you exclaimed and express your excitement upon hearing that your grandfather is here. You haven’t seen him for a very long time and you have lots of stories to tell him. “Oh shit- by the way. Lucas, uhm… Can you zip my dress, I forgot I unzip it because it was uncomfortable. Stupid ball gowns” you said, turning your back to Lucas and waiting for him to take care of your zipper. But before he zips you up, he kisses your exposed shoulders and massaged them.
“Don’t forget to have fun tonight okay? I’ll be watching you like a hawk the whole night- well actually, not you. The men that will dance with you tonight” Because Lucas has no rank or title, he can’t earn a dance with you because it’s against the conditions that your father gave.
“All done your majesty,” he says and stepped back to open the door for you.
Every Christmas Eve, throwing an extravagant ball has been your family’s tradition for centuries. It is known by royalties across the globe and this fancy Christmas party is actually part of your kingdom’s history. Different respective kings, beautiful queens, annoying princes and princesses, dukes and duchess are invited and all are here not only to have fun but also here to talk business with you.
The night goes on, dancing with a few guests before you meet and spend some time with your grandfather. You wanted to whine and complain to your assistant but she’s just doing her job so you shrugged it off. “How many more left?” you asked while waiting for the next Prince to ask to dance, “two more your majesty. Your grandfather is next after this” you smiled and thanked her, giving a bow to the next prince who’s about to dance with you. And the moment you lift your head to meet his eyes, you thought you were dreaming.
For a moment you forgot proper princess etiquette and gave Hendery a tight hug, shocking everyone at your behavior but they’re even more shocked about Hendery’s appearance. ‘The son of the dead king has finally shown himself’ you hear everyone murmur around you but you don’t care. You smiled so big seeing that handsome face again. He kissed your hand and asked you to dance which you accepted gladly, now that Hendery is back and you’re all dressed up wearing your tiara, you feel like a real princess finally meeting his prince in a storybook.
“Where have you been?” you whispered to him.
“I’m sorry I left you like that, I was devastated” he whispers back as you two dance in the middle of the ballroom with the other royalties, trying so hard to hide the excitement. While you were dancing with Hendery, you remember that handsome smile that made your knees weak, his sweet gestures to prove his feelings for you, and your promises to each other.
Is it really true that first love never dies or your love for Hendery was just too strong that it never died?
When Hendery was about to hand you over to your grandfather, your father and mother came out of nowhere with your younger sister on their side. Is it because they’re happy to see Hendery too? Or are they going to press you regarding the arranged marriage again? You cling to your grandfather as you get nervous but careful not to show it. “Ah! Hendery welcome back! How was your time in the army, good?” your father exclaims. So all this time he knew where Hendery is.
“I had a hard time your highness, but I made it back in one piece” Hendery answered and made a small joke that made you all giggle and let out a small laugh. Oh you missed him.
“Hendery, I want you to meet Y/n’s younger sister” you watch him kiss your sister’s hand, “and also your future bride to be”
You were completely taken aback by what you just heard and the words that came into your head were, ‘I thought you were mine’ but you didn’t speak your mind and listened further to what your father is saying. But as you listen more, you feel like your dress was becoming tighter and tighter in every second that you can’t breathe anymore. “She will be your queen in your kingdom, and Y/n will be an independent queen here” your father explained proudly.
“But she’s too young” you pointed at your sister but you see how your sister’s eyes are sparkling. Too late. You thought. You watch her be charmed by Hendery’s visuals, that damn smile captured your sister’s heart in an instant.
“Hendery can wait until his bride is in the right age to be married, right son?”
“Of course your highness, it’s my duty” he answered confidently.
After the unexpected talk, you excused yourself, went to your room, and breathed outside on your balcony. You can’t forget your sister’s face as she looks at the man you used to kiss and you used to love. She has no idea what controversy she will face in the future, she is so young and blinded by infatuation…Or maybe you’re being like this because you’re jealous.
“Believe me I’m just as shock as you are”
A familiar voice made your heart race and your body stiffen in no time. You turned around secretly hoped that you’re wrong, but you will never forget his voice and also how his mere presence makes your heart excited. “How did you get in here?”
You hear him scoff and stood behind you, “We used to make out a lot in your room-and mine too of course. I still remember the way to your room by heart” he looked up the stars to stop himself from looking at you. You looked so beautiful tonight that he can’t stop blushing and admiring you.
You were silent. Mainly because you don’t know what to say and you’re not sure what to feel either.
“It’s going to be fine” with all his courage he tried hugging you like how he used to when you were only teenagers. But you pushed him away and stepped away from him. Hendery felt a slight pang in his heart, he never thought that you could do that to him.
“Were not together now don’t you get it? You were gone for years Hendery, a lot has changed”
“You’re hurting me, this is not our fault we love each other what's wrong with that” he reasons out, trying to lower his voice because someone might hear him.
“Loved. Past tense. My sister likes you and you are arranged to be married to her Hendery” you close your eyes as you remember what happened again earlier.
“If I have known that life will take you away from me, I shouldn’t have wasted my time and showered you with love and affection when we were young”
With a heavy heart, your first love left you in the cold night with a confused mind.
ACT 3
To make it up with your grandfather, you spend Christmas morning with him while drinking tea by the palace garden and telling him numerous stories about Lucas…and also your talk about Hendery last night.
“Don’t do something stupid that your future self with regret” he says, stirring his coffee and chewing his bread with jam. He was talking about cheating, he didn’t tell you exactly but you get it. “Did you tell your boyfriend already about what you felt upon hearing your sister’s engagement?” You shook your head and see your grandfather get disappointed but he understands that everything that’s happening now is not easy for you.
“He’s away, for now, left first thing in the morning to go to Hong Kong for his family” you felt hopeless again.
“Oh everything will be fine. I’m sure he will understand, that man is wise. I’m rooting for him” he says like Lucas is his son.
“What- really not Hendery?” you let out a laugh because your grandfather is cute.
“Nope. Now, don’t ask me why. Figure it out yourself” he winks and continues to eat his breakfast.
As days go by without Lucas, you and Hendery continue to meet each other accidentally whenever he visits your sister. You’re a busy woman, but your mind seems to have time to think whether they kissed already, hold hands, or admitted their feelings to each other if there's any.
You saw flowers on your way to your office and you thought that maybe it's for your sister, from Hendery and you can’t help but to get envious and jealous. He used to give you flowers back when you were in high school and now… he’s doing it to your sister too.
While you were reviewing proposals, you got a phone call from your personal phone and it's Lucas which you’re very excited to answer. “Hey” you singsong, putting the phone between your ear and neck while you continue to scan through papers.
“I’m sorry I haven’t been in touch, everything okay back there?”
No. You wanted to tell him that you’ve been having these weird feelings towards Hendery. “No, baby. Everything’s fine, I’m working now… As usual- how's everyone there?”
“They miss you. They wanted you to visit next year” he says, breathing deeply before he continues. “Listen, I want to stay here for a little longer. I miss them too you know-“
“And it’s fine! Baby, I understand. You’ve done so much for me already, go and be with your family” you felt guilty for caging Lucas in your country. Even though he’s the one who wanted to stay here, still. You can feel that he’s homesick sometimes.
After working in your office, you went straight to your room and purposely skipped dinner because you knew that Hendery is still here. When you opened your door, the same flowers that you thought Hendery gave to your sister is sitting on your coffee table with a small envelope that has your name on it.
Dear Y/n,
Back when we were in high school, I gave you a single rose for Valentine's day and I told you, “Let’s grow up first”
Now that we're all grown up, and still obviously madly in love with each other, I will not hold myself back from loving you. Not anymore.
I’m sorry for leaving, please give me a chance and meet me at the back of the palace at midnight. I’ll be waiting.
H.
Bold of him to think that you’re still madly in love with him. How can he say that?
You look at the letter as you grow weak and let yourself flop on your couch, face first and still undecided if you’re going. Frustrated and guilty, that’s what you’re feeling ring now. Frustrated because you don’t know what to follow, your heart or your mind. Guilty because your heart says you should go.
At the end of the day, you find yourself walking in the dark on your way to the back of the castle to meet Hendery. Hugging yourself as you cling more in your thin cardigan, trying to keep yourself warm as you feel your heartbeat faster by every second you come closer to the meeting spot. You see Hendery at the back of a thick tree, face illuminated because of his phone screen. “Oh you’re here. Sorry I was about to ring your phone” he admitted.
“Why am I here? What do you want?” You asked in the softest way possible. He saw that you’re shivering and invited you to go around the tree. There you see a blanket and small pillows and the lake was perfectly lit by the moon. What a beautiful view. And while you were admiring the view, you feel him place his jacket around you and motions you to sit on the ground with him.
“Please for once let’s pretend I didn’t leave you. I didn’t want my father to die, I didn’t expect our kingdom to suffer. And you’re the only good thing that’s left to me. So please”
You looked at him for a second that soon turned into minutes. You bit your lower lip and you remember that you weren’t mad at him for leaving, so why are you mad at him now?
Slowly, you accepted the warmth that he offered and sat close to him, sharing the blanket and keeping you close. “You’re here to hear me apologize sincerely” he gulps before he starts talking and explaining why he left, looking into your eyes so you know he’s telling you the truth. He told you that his father’s last will is for him to join the army and to be a soldier because in his father’s eyes he’s not yet ready to be a young king so he didn’t have a choice but to leave.
You were heartbroken while hearing his part. “I was never mad at you for leaving. I was worried about you”
He smiled sweetly at you. The kind of smile that makes your body warm and heart flutter, he pulled you close and you let him. “I know. Mother told me you were looking for me, but she can’t tell you anything. I told her I’m the one who should tell you someday. I’m sorry” he embraced you tightly, his cheeks resting on your shoulders. And right then and there everything is clear to you. You still have feelings for him.
“What are we gonna do now? My sister, Lucas” you asked him as you rake away strands of hair from his face.
“I’m not in love with your sister” he admitted without hesitation.
“But I love Lucas” there’s that guilty feeling again. You feel your heart breaking for Lucas, he doesn’t deserve being cheated on like this.
“I thought you were mine” he whispers. And even if it's a whisper the hurt was obvious from the sound of his voice. He didn’t see it coming. He didn’t think that this will be more complicated than he imagined.
“Funny. I thought the same thing when my father told us you're enggaged to my sister” you admitted and scoffed.
“Give me a chance to win you back. And if you're not coming back to me, just let me be with you for a little longer. I beg you”
There was a moment of silence and Hendery understands that you needed that silence to think, “Okay” you said. And saying ‘okay’ never felt so wrong. You cupped his face and tried to turn this moment around, “what's it like to be away from home?”
“Sad. I think of you every day and of course my family but they get to see me but you... not even a picture just our memories in my head”
Now that Hendery is a prince slash soldier, you remember the Nutcracker story your grandfather used to tell you for bedtime. That’s when you realized that you and Hendery are truly made for each other.
But you have Lucas...
As your night with Hendery continues and makes up for lost time, the emotional reunion turned to giggles and laughs when your time together has ended. He invited you over to his own house for a date since he can’t take you out like he used to, and reminded you that you gave him a chance to win you back, and thanked you.
On the next day, your mind was blanked. You can’t believe that you’re cheating on Lucas and have been refusing to answer his calls.
Days went on like this until you’re not awkward with Hendery anymore and you’re comfortable again around him. He showered you with love, you accept it wholeheartedly. Every day was sweet with Hendery even though you’re both aware of the future consequences but no one seems to care for now.
You go to his place and spend time with each other, whether talking the whole night and telling each other stories, him making you giggle and laugh with your legs on top of his thighs while you both sit on his couch enjoying a glass of wine or whenever you’re busy reading something or you brought a little work at his place and he can easily take your stress away by making you laugh.
Today, you came early and decided to cook for him and have dinner together. You don’t know but Hendery is leaning on the door frame of his kitchen with a flower in his hand, watching you chop some peppers in his kitchen. He felt like he finally won you back. Just seeing you hum while you prepare dinner makes his heart so happy. He then walked slowly and hugged you from behind, resting chin at the top of your shoulders, and showed you the flowers he has for you.
You smiled so big, dropping the knife on the chopping board and turning around to give him a kiss.
That’s your first kiss again.
He was shocked but you did it again. You realized he was trying so hard that he’s slowly being successful in winning you back and you’re actually scared of the future but he makes you happy.
“What? It’s not like we haven’t kissed before” you touched his lips and felt his embrace tightens every second. “Dinner in 30 minutes” you smiled and went back to finish chopping the peppers and finding a nice vase for the flowers he gave.
After dinner, a few glasses of wine, cheese, and grapes, you and Hendery are buzzed and talking about work as prince and princesses while enjoying the view from his couch. The lights are turned down low and you didn’t even notice at first but the mood has been making you horny even though your topic was stressful and your minds are clouded with alcohol. You don’t know what came into your head but you sat on his lap with lidded eyes, touching his body feeling his hard rocked abs through his white dress shirt.
He giggles and laughed at you. He’s so fucking handsome when he does that. “Seriously you have to stop you will embarrass yourself in the next morning,” he told you to stop but he fixed the way he sits and made sure you were comfortable on top of him. He teased you more, smiling so handsomely and making your heart flutter.
“I'm not that drunk just buzzed. Want me to prove it?” You challenged with a flirty tone that turns him on.
“Mhmm. Okay,” he tilts his head and waited for this proof you were saying.
“I still remember how we sealed our promises with a kiss. Like that day when we promised to be each other’s first and last” your fingers went up to his hair, ruffling his soft black hair and massaging his scalp.
You don’t know what happened but the mood changes and he’s avoiding your eyes. ”I’m sorry,” he says.
“No no don’t be, you’re here now make it up to me” you kissed his neck while he gets drunk even more because of your kisses. Your hands are placed on his neck like you’re telling him you still belong to each other, rolling your hips slowly to make him horny as much as you are.
“Did you have sex with anyone already?” his question made you stop what you’re doing to him and pulling away from the kiss to look at him, you thought he didn’t like what’s happening. But to your surprise his lips went to your neck, kissing you softly but full of lust. You feel his warm tongue just below your jaw and it felt great.
“Lucas, how about you?” You moaned out, shamefully.
Usually, his heart will hurt whenever you mention Lucas, but he’s the one kissing you now. So instead of getting hurt, he smirked. “A couple of girls. Life can be stressful I need an adult stress release. Any kinks?”
“Not that I know of? You?”
He stopped and looked at you to tell you the story. “Well remember when we were making out and I accidentally saw your breasts?” you nod at him, “I think I developed some kind of breast kink and I always imagine that I’m having sex with you instead of a stranger” he admitted and looked at you clothed breast right now. “That's how much I miss you” he placed a gentle kiss on your lips and went back to leaning comfortably on the couch. He got shy but he can’t stop looking at you.
To be honest your heart swells knowing that he desperately wants you like that. As quickly as you can, you untuck your blouse and removed it in front of the prince. “You can experience the real thing tonight “ you intertwine your hand with his and slowly placed it on your breast.
Breathing heavily. Both of you. You’re like teenagers who are just about to have sex for the first time.
He sat up to meet your lips and kiss you the way you deserved to be kissed, slowly you feel his hand travel to your back to unclasp your bra. You removed and fed his lust, revealing your breast to him for the first time. Hendery was so nervous that his hands are shaking when he removed strands of hair away from your face and held you on your shoulders, slowly he lowered your body on his and started kissing your collar bones and chest before he proceeds to your breast.
It was quiet and all he can hear is your moans and the sound of his wet kisses. You wanted to tell him that his lips feel great against your skin, and simply tell him to fuck you already. When his mouth finally reached your hard nipples and bit them softly, you parted your lips and your arms swings around him and push his head to your breast even more. You noticed he knows how to use his tongue, you figured he has been doing this to someone else for years and years while the whole truth is he always wanted to do it to you. The way he flicked his tongue brings you back to reality and when he sucks your nipples good your grip on his hair tightens and when that happens he bites your nipples again to make you shiver. This man is good.
He placed his hands just below your boob area to hold you still while he does whatever he wants to your breast. Sucking, pinching, bitting, and kneading. Everything felt good and your moans are good proof. With his strength, he got up from the couch and carried you to his room while you kiss with lust. He lay you down on his king-sized bed and kissed your body down while unbuttoning your pants and pulling them down until you’re only wearing your panties. Hendery then unbuttoned his dress shirt in between your spread legs, kneeling in front of you, stripping until he’s only wearing his boxers briefs. He situates his body on top of you grinding on your clothed private parts, hands all over each other’s body. He then went back to kissing your nipples and sucking them but little did you know Hendery is just distracting you while his hands are slowly coming down inside your panties.
With a great shock, you closed your eyes and parted your lips as you feel Hendery’s cold fingers slide up and down on your wet slit while his mouth is still sucking your nipples. It was a whirlwind of feelings, everything felt good, and seeing Hendery enjoy turns you on too. By the time you had your first orgasm, shaking and body so sensitive with swollen nipples, Hendery was kissing you softly and asking you in the most innocent way if you’re okay. The sound of his giggles makes you calm, the way he whispers soft praises beside your ear while his hands roam freely around your body. Truth is he’s genuinely happy right at this moment because he doesn’t need to imagine anymore.
He went back to kissing your body down until he reaches your wet core and licks it up and down for a while before he lines his cock. In between your widely spread legs, you watch Hendery lick you good and feel him moan from time to time. “Hendery” you called him, kneeling in between your legs in an instant, flashing his beautiful body to you. His skin is flawless, strong arms, perfect abs, and of course, fucking beautiful smile. Everything about him makes you weak right now that you just opened your legs, reach for hard cock, and line it to your entrance yourself. “Woah��� he giggled and stopped you, “Okay calm down, I’ll fuck you good I promise” he pumped his cock in front of you and lines it immediately just how you want it and slowly enters you. He wasn’t big like Lucas but he kept his promise, he fucked you good.
So good that you asked for more as you grip his Egyptian cotton sheets and let your body be dragged with every hard thrust he give you.
So good that you asked him to go slower because you don’t want it to end yet.
So good that you asked him to cum inside you and asked for another round.
On your third orgasm, your hole is dripping with mixes of your cum and Hendery’s while the handsome prince is kissing your neck as you come down from your high. “I love you” he whispers but he was too late, you were sleeping soundly already, arms wrapped around his neck. He smiled and kissed you one last time before he pulls out and cleans you up.
He didn’t sleep that night, he just watched you sleep beside him. Let you cling to him in the middle of the night, watch you roll in his bed and expose your body, but of course, he’s quick to cover you again. And when the time comes, he wakes you with kisses on your shoulders, embracing you tightly and kissing you more.
“Wake up” you hear him whisper and you try to open your eyes the moment he told you so. You see his window, it was still dark so you closed your eyes again. “Want to watch the sunrise with me? You’re going to love it” he went down from his bed and opened his curtains so you can have a full view of the sky while you enjoy your comfort in his bed. You sat up and waited for him to join you again and stay warm together. Slowly, you see how the sky became pitch black to deep blue to light blue until you can see the pretty view outside his house. It was calming. He was holding your hand the whole time.
After watching the sunrise with him he fell asleep while holding your hand and you think he’s cute for having a tight grip even though he’s sleeping. While he was sleeping, it’s now your turn to admire his handsome features and watch him sleep before you start your day and make breakfast.
You hate to admit it but it looks like he has completely won you over.
“You look good in my dress shirt” he greets you good morning and kissed you on your temple while you set the table. You feel his hands in your hips, slowly coming down to your butt, and realized that you’re only wearing his dress shirt and thin panties. He still can’t believe that this is all happening, “are you real?” He whispers.
“Yes. Now come on, I have a meeting with the parliament. Need to go home and get ready” you eat some fruits as you scan your schedule for the day and there you see it and completely missed it.
Lucas went home last night. And you left your personal phone in your car. Fuck you said to yourself but didn’t show it to Hendery.
Leaving this morning became harder than you expected and you spent a total of 20 minutes kissing and flirting with Hendery before you finally open the door.
You went on with your day and made an excuse to Lucas as to why you didn’t pick him up at the airport last night. You were at your office with stacks and stacks of paper works and you weren’t even acting stressed when he came in because you were indeed stressed with everything.
“Oh baby, I’m really sorry” you greet him with a kiss and left everything on your desk. Lucas saw how stressed you are so he understood immediately and didn’t even bother asking. “You’re coming home to me tonight right? I missed you” he added and pouted like the big baby that he is.
“Uh-huh. Of course yes, I’m all yours” you smiled and he hugged you so tight before he leaves you to work again.
“Of course. You’re always mine” he said and kissed you goodbye.
The nights are cold for Hendery when Lucas got back because he can’t get a hold of you. No text, no call, no email. No nothing. And once again, he was heartbroken and he felt like he’s losing you again.
When he visited your sister a week since the last time he saw you, Hendery saw you with Lucas and didn’t even think of taking another glance. He had all these emotions ball up in his chest and he needed to release them.
“Hey, I didn’t know you were visiting today” your sister was surprised and invited him into her room. When she turned your back at him, he saw your figure in your sister. He’s back to imagining girls to be you, he’s back to that sick habit of his. But he can't help it. Effortlessly, he flirted with your sister, and surprisingly your sister was horny. Very horny for Hendery. One thing led to another and the next thing he knows he’s fucking her hard from behind kissing her shoulders and imagining that it’s you.
“What’s that noise” you murmur to Lucas while you were having a nap with him. Lucas giggled and whispered back, “I think Prince Hendery paid her a visit and... you know...” he was giggling and keeping you close to him as he went back to his nap, completely clueless that you’re hurting.
Everything that you and Hendery built from the past few days falls down when you came to his house and had your first fight.
ACT 4
“You didn’t call! Or texted that he’s already back you just left me hanging!”
“And that’s a good reason to fuck my sister?”
“It just happened!”
“Bullshit!” You shouted back. Louder than before, completely overpowering his shouts. With all his bravery, he got you a glass of water, came closer to you, and caressed your shoulders to keep you calm.
“I fucked up and I’m sorry, please,” he says sincerely.
Then you realized something.
“You don’t have to say sorry to me. It’s okay if you and my sister fucked because someday you will be married to each other. Were the ones cheating”
He listened to every word you said and begged you to take it back because he’s losing you again. When you finally said, “let’s end this Hendery. Do you want to have more fights like this in the future? What will you feel if I tell you that me and Lucas fucked last night-“
It was like thunder, disturbing the silence of his quiet house when he grabbed the glass of water and threw it in one corner.
“Exactly my point. We don’t belong to each other anymore. I’m sorry”
“Y/n. Please-“ he begged once again but you just repeated everything you said and left him.
The end.
It was the end of your story with Hendery.
But just as you thought that you’re done handling one heartbreak for the day, you’re wrong. Lucas called to tell you the news that your grandfather had a heart attack and was rushed to the hospital.
After everything that happened on that day, you never made peace with Hendery and never talked to him again. Lucas saw you at your lowest and took care of you every day after the funeral and never left your side.
Months passed by quickly and Hendery is staying in your palace as per your sister’s request and continue to ignore each other for safety. Sometimes you greet each other for formality but never as friends and as past lovers. Lucas is not stupid to not see what’s happening.
Two months before your coronation day, you were sitting on your throne with your leg up and pouting as you’re thinking if you’re really ready to be a queen. You see Lucas enter the hall but you did not move an inch. He sat on the cold floor in front of you, reaching for your hand and kiss it.
“I miss him, I wish he could see me as a queen” tears started to fall but Lucas is quick to dry them.
“He saw you as a queen already even when you were only a little girl” you understand what he said and you’re thankful for him for not leaving you at your lowest and choosing to be with you even though he found out about you and Hendery. “So... I wanted to do this, while you’re still you. And not...the queen” he says awkwardly and pulls out a small red velvet box.
But you sit properly and stopped him from opening it and saying the question that will change your life, “how can you stay to a woman who cheats?”
“Your grandfather told me love is patient. I had a meaningful talk with him, you’re right he’s wise. He told me you love me and he said if one day you do something stupid and wrong, which turns out you did... He told me ‘check your heart if you still love her, and if you still do marry her and don’t ever let her go again’"
Tears started to fall from your eyes again. “So will you marry me Y/n. Let me be the one to dry your tears forever?” He let out an awkward laugh, nervous about the next thing that will come out of your mouth.
“Yes, of course, yes” you cup his face, and this time you’re the one to dry his tears away.
Little did you know that Hendery heard everything. And he is beyond heartbroken.
#nct smut#nct-writers#neosmutcollective#kpopscape#neowritingsnet#cznnet#wayv smut#hendery smut#nct x reader#nct royal au#hendery fluff#hendery angst#hendery x reader#wayv x reader#nct hendery x reader#wayv hendery x reader#nct imagines#wayv imagines#nct scenarios#wayv scenarios
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hi! i’ve been so inactive lately and wanted to post something today, and i realized i haven’t made an appreciation post for my moots in a hot minute—so hey hotties, here’s some cute words about uu. oh and this isn’t all of my mutuals, just the one’s i’ve spoken to outside of the discord lol asjfdkl

@hesthermay —❥ you’re one of my best friends and ilysm and i hope that we get to meet in person one day, so you can endlessly hear me talk about how much i love jimmy woo. also i want to get matching marvel bracelets or smth, gonna look on etsy later for us ajskdlf
@probablydisgusting —❥ you’re like actually so funny and sweet, whenever you pop in the gc on snap just to say goodmorning or goodnight—it really makes everyone’s day and we love having you around. plus, you were one of the first people to pop into my inbox when i was an atla blog and i think that’s so nice.
@imarizaki —❥ i literaly love you sm mari, like you’re adorable and i want to give you a hug, i feel like you give rlly good hugs. and congrats on 400!! you deserve it and i hope 500 comes rolling around fast so you can hit another milestone in the near future ajskfdl
@tsukishumai —❥ cam i swear i know your name like I SWEAR I DO! you’re like an older sister to everyone in the discord and you bring such a comforting presence like it’s so nice to have you in the chat whenever you choose to pop in. you’re quite literally the calm to our insanity
@fukurodianthus —❥ dani you’re asleep rn but when you wake up and see this i want you do know that ily wifey. pls i love it when you harass me in my inbox, i think it’s so funny AND IM GOING TO FLOOD YOUR’S EVENTUALLY I JUST NEED TO BECOME ACTIVE AGAIN ASDJKL
@missmorosis —❥ you’re literally one of my favorite moots ever and you’re always so sweet to me and everyone else around you, it’s so heartwarming to see your positivity and happiness on tumblr and how hard you work! pls ilysm
@ray-ofmoonlight —❥ I LOVE TALKING TO YOU ABOUT THE BACHELOR. i haven’t responded in a hot minute, but dw i’ll answer in a bit i have to go through my messages jaksfld. you’re so nice and fun, and literally the sweetest ever
@diorzumi —❥ hi rheya! i’m so glad you took the time and all that hard work to make the server, like that’s insane and i still can’t believe you did all of that. pls the amount of effort you put into keeping it up is so evident and amazing!! also ur rlly pretty, like RLLY pretty
@luvoikawa —❥ gigi!! my face literally lights up whenever i see you in my notifs or on my dash pls. i love your energy sm and the presence you bring to the discord. like idk, you just seem really cool to me, does that make sense? like you have cool girl energy.
@sugas-cookie —❥ hello rissie. you should be sleeping rn, but ily and you’re my favorite and only child, and no matter what i say i would never bring you back to the ditch. but like...the frogs? i fucking hate the frogs, abolish all frogs they make me physically cringe i cannot.
@kei7ime —❥ CHLOEEE!! every time i see your theme i feel so satisfied, like it’s so pretty it rlly is. you’re so fun and i love talking to you or just popping in your inbox to say hi. omg hi chloe!! ok ok ily
@pxnk-velvet —❥ angie your drawing of us are so cute and i love them sm, and i can’t wait to read the story that you’ve been writing of our gc as a volleyball team, like pls i’m so excited. also the line “just shut up already, angie” lives in my head rent free
@miyalove —❥ hi dylan! i haven’t popped in your inbox in a while but i just wanted to tell you that i love u and you’re so nice and sweet and ilysm. you give off hot girl energy dylan, like for real, you rlly do.
@iwaizoom —❥ HI JADE. you’re so nice and your blog is so pretty, like the light green jaskljl PLS ITS SO PRETTY. i love the vibes you give off like you’re so chill and so easy to talk to sjakljdkl pls ilysm
@kageyuji —❥ lore i love you. like i love you. every time i talk to you i just feel happy like idk it’s this overwhelming feeling, you just have this gift where people feel comfortable when they’re talking to you. and your blog is so pretty pls asdjl
@hikariakaashi —❥ you’re one of my favorite moots, firstly bc of our interactions on tumblr in the early days of the discord and now on snap too. you have rlly good style, like rlly good style—and whenever you do your voice asks, your voice is like rlly pretty! girl you have a rlly pretty voice!
@ceci-chan —❥ hi twinnie! pls i think it’s so funny that we have literally the exact same nose, that’s actually wild. it’s so fun to watch your blog grow and your events are so cute and ily
@nekomabvc —❥ i buried you in here so you’d have to search for your part. literally going to say nothing i’m tired of writing about you goodbye. you called me a whore this morning. that’s not very swag of you, i’m going to report you to mab and cancel you on corpse tumblr.
@bellesowl —❥ hi isa! we haven’t interacted all that much, but in the times we have you’ve been so kind. and you’re rlly pretty, just sayin. you’re blog is also super aesthetic and i literally live for it, pls the muted tones are everything ajsdlk
@gellysticks —❥ angela pls you’re actually so funny like you’re so funny. every time your tiktoks come up in my suggested they literally make me laugh pls—but the frogs are terrible. abort frogs. this is a frog slandering blog. me and all my homies HATE frogs.
@cafemiya —❥ issy you give off such hot girl energy (and you are a hot girl anyways) and your energy is so contagious, like idk how it just is. you bring this positivity to the discord just by being there and i know everyone is so thankful that you’re so interactive with us jaskfdl
@biqherosix —❥ DANIZA I HAVEN’T OPENED YOUR SNAP YET BUT I RLLY WANT TO HEAR YOUR BAND PLAY. pls that’s literally so cool, like i wish i was in a cool band with my friends jsakdljkl. i love talking to you and we’ve been friends for like a good three months now which is crazy
@velvetfireworks —❥ rach i literally never read fics but yours are so good and they live in my head rent free. PLS THE SAKUSA ONE FOR THE BROKEN HEARTS CLUB AUDHS. you’re so nice and so talented and i reread your masterlist OMG I JUST REMEMBERED THE MOB AU ONE THAT ONE IS PERFECTION.
@hajiswife —❥ hi gabbie! your blog is gorgeous and your so nice pls!! like i literally can’t believe we’re mutuals it hits me like a brick. i love your works and your energy sjaklfdjl i’ll probably be popping in your inbox later just to say hi lol
@svgashi —❥ NIKE!!! omg we’re literally sister wives. you’re the first moot i had on tumblr that understood how great sugawara is and it’s like a breath of fresh air from the constant slandering my friends give him. ILY
@sexy-bee-juice —❥ aja!! i love getting your messages and just saying the most out of pocket things with you, and your reblogs make me laugh so hard like you’re rlly funny. also my broken french is terrible but i’m glad it makes you laugh ajskfdl
@koutarousangel —❥ MICKEY PLS YOURE SO FUNNY. I LOVE YOUR VIBES AND EVERYTHING LIKE YOURE FUNNY. and ily too. just putting that in there in case i haven’t said it in a while <3
@hvnlydmn —❥ hi ains! congrats on 5k!! that’s literally so insane like omg you must be reeling rn jadskfl you really really deserve it tho, everyone sees how hard you work and how much content you produce in such a short amount of time CONGRATS ILY
@akaashi-bby —❥ victoria you were the first person i talked to teen wolf with in like three years pls. i’m listening to a song from the show atm and it’s making me sad but ilysm and i love talking to you about literally anything
@laineywritesstuff —❥ LAINE!! hi! you’re so pretty like you look like you give the warmest hugs and i feel like if i ever met you in person i’d just get engulfed does that make sense? you’re so nice and ilysm and i hope you’re have a fantastic day!
@kiyoalex —❥ you’re rlly funny. like rlly funny. and i feel like we match each other’s energy pretty well in pms. pls my insanity is too real back there BUT IT’S OK I THINK BC YOU SEEM TO UNDERSTAND IT LOL ILY
@shoutamajiki —❥ hi nana!! you’re so nice and i’m so glad you joined the discord! and i’m so sorry i added you to my terrible private story on snap pls it’s so bad i’m very very sorry about that jksalfjdl
@sunacity —❥ nea i love your works so much like literally they LIVE in my head. you’re so talented and i can’t believe we’re mutuals that’s literally insane bc i love your stuff pls. and on top of being talented you’re so nice, like the nicest jaskdflj i can’t

ok ok i think that’s it for now, this isn’t all of my mutuals—but it’s the one’s i interact with the most and if we are moots and i didn’t include you pls my inbox or pms are always open to just like go insane in. ok have a great rest of your day!!
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The Great Dizi List, Part 3b (The Alperen Dizis)
Okay, so allow me to start by saying that I've finished Son Yaz, and as as result I may have fallen the tiniest bit in love with Alperen Duymaz and thus have embarked on the journey of watching all his dizis. He has this sad, earnest puppy vibe combined with an incredible amount of BDE in all his roles, plus he's just so damn pretty. Anyway. And by all I mean just two others bc I like him beardy and his teen one is a little young for me.
Son Yaz
This one will actually get its own post, because it deserves its own post. Tbqh it deserves sonnets written to its beauty, bc this is one of those shows that I watched all the way through in like, 3 days, and then immediately wanted to go back and watch again. It was that good. The main quartet are a delight, and honestly I haven't loved a ship like AkMur in far too long. (okay technically Edser but that ended in disaster and in retrospect I kind of think they were awful and I'm not even really sure what I loved about them tbh they kind of sucked.) They are one of those ships you can believe in, where you know they are going to work out no matter what and you want them to. The way they are together--they make my heart happy.
Zemheri
This show I actually started to watch back in September of last year, when I had just started watching Turkish dizis. Back then I was entirely on my own and I got about 40 min in and then freaked out. I read some reviews, freaked out some more and bailed. But I'm a dizi pro now, and with this being a combined Alperen AND Ayça dizi I basically couldn't resist. It helped that it was only 10 episodes and that meant it couldn't get too crazy. Both Alperen and Ayça were amazing, of course, and they are just so damn beautiful together. Their chemistry was electric and since they spent about 90% of this dizi crying at each other (and let me tell you that these two may be the best dizi criers I've seen) it was incredibly well done. They are so pretty when they cry. There is one story line which didn't make a whole ton of sense and kind of pissed me off, but honestly it gets so little screen time as to render it easy to dismiss or headcanon. (Hint: It should have been a hysterical pregnancy). But the acting was great, the ending was intensely satisfying, and honestly if you want to watch Alperen with curls and turtlenecks and peacoats (his curls, btw, may or may not have caused a few minor breakdownsif they give Akgun curls I won't make it) cry at Ayça beautifully while she cries beautifully back for 20 hours or so, then I highly recommend.
Çarpişma
Okay, so I've watched several mafia/crime dizis. They're probably my favorite kind tbh. Usually they feature super smart main characters who are always a step ahead (you think they are in trouble but they always had a plan) and a bad guy with infuriating but understandable motives who usually lives too long, and at least one minor henchman guy who gets what he deserves. And usually our mains live happily ever after. Usually.
This show was not that. I should preface this by saying that my brand of humor is what you might call "dark"--I laughed more at the Americans than I ever have a comedy, lets put it that way. Anyway, this show featured 4 of the stupidest people ever to exist in a tv show, and I do mean that, and was also technically I guess kind of horrible what with the death and killing but tbh I laughed a lot. Now, I should say that the cast was excellent, and the acting was excellent and I loved every single one of those stupid idiots. But they were, in fact, extraordinarily stupid. These people got kidnapped like, and I'm not joking, at least once an episode. Sometimes twice. There actually came a point where they were getting kidnapped from their kidnappers by other kidnappers. And then literally every episode they'd get saved (and by they I mean the women, the two dudes never got kidnapped really) and then literally like, go right back to life as normal. Neither dude ever made sure their respective girlfriend got back in the house at night, neither girl ever believed in calling their respective boyfriend to, idk, buddy walk anywhere, they never checked before opening doors, they drove away without looking, got in cars without looking. It may sound like I'm exaggerating but I swear I'm not. And mind you, this dizi started with the main characters family getting blown up, and the other one being kidnapped and forced to shoot her husband in the face to save her kidnapped daughter. Spoilers I guess. So you'd think they'd be a little cautious but nope. Not even a little. Just out there, living their lives. The main villain of the first half of the dizi actually got redeemed and tbh by the final episode I was rooting for him to live his best life an co-parent with Kadir. At least he had a reasonable motivation, and he also did try and make up for the atrocities he committed. And really, what's a little murder now and again. The other bad guy's motivation was, and I swear this is true, "my son hates me for blowing up his family bc I didn't know it was his family, so bc he hates me I'm going to kill the rest of his family." That was literally it. The thing is, while the constant dying and torture would make you say "Djem, wtf is wrong with you, how did you get glee out of this show?" let me tell you that by the 945th kidnapping, you too will be like "can't even feel sorry for you really" and the just settle into this state of low level amusement and glee. Like, literally 90% of these kidnappings and deaths could have been prevented by like, idk, actually having police protection, or staying inside the house, or not opening the door for strangers, or watching to make sure the love of your life got inside safely, or not walking alone at night, or not GOING TO THE PARK TWO DAYS AFTER YOUR BESTIE WAS KIDNAPPED AND HAD A BOMB STRAPPED TO HER. So like, I mean, not to victim blame. But. Let's say by the end, while I loved the fuck outta the mains, I honestly was more emotional over Veli. Bc they were just so fucking stupid. Like, kidnapped, from a kidnapper. You really can't make it up. They make Akgun and Soner look like geniuses. And that's saying something. Anyway it was great and if you ff through most of the boring shit, I highly recommend. The acting is superb, the foursome is hilarious, and tbh Veli is a great villain that I loved. It was the stupidest dizi I've seen (that's a lie I watched parts of two Ayşe dizis) but tbh it was enjoyable as hell, so that's saying something I guess.
And that is BITTI for the Alperen dizis. For now. Son Yaz will be back soon and I can't wait!
Next up is Kuzey Guney, bc I made promises.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3
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get to know me tag!
tagged by @kithtaehyung
tagging @balenciaguks @jihopes @rosebowl @userjiminie @koolabjamun @kimtaegis @jiminswn @vjimin (feel free to ignore this tho)
sorry this took me a minute to get to asdfghjkl my energy was just nOT there LMAO
when is your birthday? January 29th😌
what is your favourite colour? i’m not sure i really have one, i know i definitely enjoy black and other dark colours
what’s your lucky number? i’m pretty sure this changes every time but rn 23 is screaming at me
do you have any pets? a dog and a cat
how tall are you? either 6ft or taller i’m not even 100% sure
how many pairs of shoes do you own? i have my slides and two pairs of converse lmao
favourite song? will always be between ‘serendipity’ and ‘your eyes tell’ if we’re talking about bts songs, non-bts i’d have to say ‘i think i’m okay’ or ‘why are you here’ both by machine gun kelly
favourite movie? ahhh i don’t really have a favourite i don’t think, i’m not much of a movie watcher either tbh
what would be your ideal partner? LMAO nobody, not even an exaggeration, never wanted a relationship and never will :3
do you want children? nooooooo, never in a million years
have you gotten in trouble with the law? uhhh i was a shit kid so like i got arrested a few times bAH but recently? nah.
what colour socks are you wearing? one red and one white LOL
bath or shower? BAH i’m too tall for bathtubs so shower 🙃
favourite type of music? my taste in music is just an absolute shit show, the most prominent ones are hiphop, rap and sad songs about depression LMAO
how many pillows do you sleep with? i think three, maybe four? but usually wake up with only two bc i like to throw them on the floor in my sleep gkjhldgsdfgdf
which position do you sleep in? depends on how bad my back is feeling lol, sometimes on my back and other times on my side with a body pillow
what don’t you like when you’re sleeping? noise that isn’t my tv or fan lmao🙃
what do you have for breakfast? nothing BAH i honestly just eat dinner and that’s it
have you ever tried archery? asdfghjkl i slayed that shit in school
favourite fruit? strawberries or pineapple
favourite swear word? one i’m not comfy typing BAH gotta keep it somewhat pg
do you have any scars? i was a wild child so i have one on my foot, one on my elbow, one on my skull, a bunch of small ones on my hand, and some small ones on my knees as well LMAO
are you a good liar? see i can lie but i cant keep it up for more than a few days before i start to feel guilty and inevitably come clean
what’s your personality type? i just had to do a quiz to figure this out LOL but it’s ISTP-T
what’s your favourite type of girl? one that isn’t a basic fake bitch kdsjglhsdjhfgh
left or right handed? right
favourite food? always thinking about sushi😌
are you clean or messy? depends, my bedroom is a damn mess but everywhere else in the house i keep pretty clean lol
favourite foreign food? ouuu i don’t even know i just like all food and i stan sushi that’s all i know
how long does it take you to get ready? depends on where i’m going and whether or not makeup is needed LOL
most used phrase? uhhhh so me and all my sad, depressed friends say we want to die a lottttt usually with no context or anything and at least 10 times a day so yeah there’s that
are you a good singer? NOOOOOOPE. thank you vape addiction for ruining my chances skadljghsdg😂
do you sing to yourself? yep and i’m so sorry to my roommates that have to hear me sometimes
biggest fear? spiders and people LOL
do you like long or short hair? long sgjhldghd my hair is so dead though it’s never growing passed my lower back and i’m big sad about that bc i want it l o n g e r🙃
are you into gossip? as long as it doesn’t involve me, i love a good tea spill kekeke
extrovert or introvert? introverted as hell until we become friends and then i’m just chaotic and stUPID idk
favourite school subject? biologyyyyy
what makes you nervous? i’m always nervous wym
who was your first real crush? definitely not harry styles in 2010 wymm😭 (i can’t remember anyone before then LOL)
how many piercings do you have? just my ears and my nose, covid ruined so many of my plans
how fast can you run? bro i don’t run, i don’t even go outside if i can help it ksfjghkdslfgj
what makes you angry? close-minded people and those that discriminate others
do you like your own name? ew no i cringe every time someone says my name to me dskljhgkjdfs
what are your weaknesses? i could sit here and write a million things so i’m just gonna say my anxiety and my adhd bc both of them make my life a lot more complicated askjhgldfshg
what are your strengths? idk i’ve been told i’m a good listener and trustworthy? lmao
what is the colour of your bedspread? white, black and cream
colour of your room? pastel blue
#bro when i started this it was dark out and the sun is now coming up damn#lmao#this is such a mess but skljghdsfg#tag game
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Only one you’ll ever need pt1: Got7Mafia!Jinyoung x BlackFemale!reader
An: Hey guys this is my first time writing a fic ever. I’m really nervous to post this and I ended up over writing so I’ve decided to split it up into two parts so here’s part one. Please feel free to give me writing tips and keep in mind English is not the language I speak at home so beware of some mistakes. Not so much language mistakes but like writing techniques?? Girl idk I’m trying to say I’m bad at writing 😭anyway I hope y’all enjoy 🥰
Tags:smut, slight angst (nothing sad happens but the overall theme is kind of dark and heavy
TW!:Mentions of Daddy issues, small age gap, Mentions of mafias, mentions of murder in this chapter. The smut happens later, slight kidnapping themes??
It’s undeniable that you attract a certain group of people. No matter where you go, the same kinds of people are drawn to you. Your friends always pick on you and say, “you have daddy issues” bc of the men you attract. All of your past flings have been older than you, in some type of underground business, and very toxic. You always thought you’d never find someone who didn’t just want you for your body. They’ve all had the same motive. When you turned 19 you decided to attend college in South Korea. And that’s how you met Jinyoung. He was different than every other person you’ve ever had a thing with. Now don’t get me wrong, he definitely is similar to all your old flings, but there was something that set him apart from the others, and that was how big his heart was for you. He loved you so much even tho he sometimes had a hard time showing it. He was 4 years older than you and felt the need to not only be your boyfriend but someone who could teach you the ropes of life. He took good care of you, always made sure you got enough sleep, drank enough water, and ate three meals a day. He always made sure you knew that he was the only guy you would ever need. He never pressured you to do things you weren’t comfortable with and made sure you never got involved with his work life. You knew he was in some sort of underground business but you’ve always been to scared to ask and concluded it’s best you don’t find out.
You were walking home from a night class when a car drove past you and then stopped and reversed. You immediately starting running away bc fuck that. Unfortunately no matter how fast you run a car will always be faster. The car eventually caught up to you and two men jumped out and grabbed you. You tried to get away by kicking the two men and spitting in their faces until a third man shouted, “be gentle with her, we wouldn’t want Jinyoungs precious baby to be hurt right?” The men immediately threw you into the other Mans arms. You thought about running away but he pressed his front against your back and you felt his gun in his pants. He moved your braids to the side and licked up your neck and said, “my name is Im Changkyun, and your boyfriend owes me a lot of money. You wouldn’t know anything about that would you sweetheart?” You gulped and shakily breathed out “no sir I don’t know what you’re talking about. Maybe I can go home and ask him” He laughed right in your ear and took your book bag from your hands looking for your phone to call Jinyoung. “I’m not letting you out of my sight angel, now unlock your phone and call your precious little boyfriend for me” you grabbed your phone noticing you have over 30 missed calls from Jinyoung and pressed his contact; the only contact you have in your phone. You put the call on speakerphone and waited for him to pick up. It barely rang two times before he picked up yelling and asking where you were. “ Baby where the fuck are you, when I call you, you answer the god damn phone, do you understand me?” Before you could explain yourself , Changkyun grabs the phone and says “don’t worry Junior, she’s safe with me, isn’t that right baby?” And you weakly confirm that you are safe and not injured. “I swear to fucking god I will fuck yo ass up if you hurt her, don’t try me”, jinyoung growls into the phone. “Is that any way to talk to the man who has your sweet girl held captive? Anyway, I need my mf money. I know you have it. You have 10 minutes to get to the front of her college and give me my damn money before I take her for myself.”, Changkyun says and hangs up the phone. “I know I said I wouldn’t hurt you but I don’t want you to be awake for when I kill your boyfriend.” Before You could register anything you feel a sharp pain in your head and fall into Changkyuns arms. Your vision started getting blurry and before You blacked out you heard him whisper, “you will be mine.”
You wake up some time later with a pounding headache. you try opening your eyes but they’re too heavy with sleep to do so right then. you rely on your other senses to tell you where you are. You are able to conclude you are in a moving car but that’s it. “You waking up baby?”, you hear a mans voice say. It’s hard to make out who it is and you think you have a concussion. You’re scared to see who’s driving. You hope it’s jinyoung, but there’s a possibility it’s not.
#got7 smut#jinyoung smut#mafia au#kpop smut#kpop mafia au#black kpop stans#got7 x reader#got7 x black reader#jinyoung x y/n#jinyoung x reader#jinyoung x black reader
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Why'd you only call me when you're high? (J.JK x Reader)
Drummer! Jungkook x Manager's daughter! Reader.
Warnings: Mentions of sex,drugs and alcohol. Usage of foul language (like in most of my writings bc i talk like a roadman). Friends with benefits type of relationship. Kinda angsty but also fluffy if you search for the fluff with a magnifying glass.
Word count: 2222 (hehe,angel number go brr)
A/N: I promise,i will try to do some smut but i don't feel comfy enough to write it bc idk...i just cringe when i see my writing. So sorry if it isn't what you guys expect...
3:03 am
Your phone buzzed once again. It was for the 6th time tonight in a row,so even without looking at the device,it was safe to assume that the rockstar your dad managed was probably at some pub,hammered and not even being able to call a cab for himself so he called your number. Like usual. 3:04 am. It rang again. "What? It better be an emergency cause i swear to god if you're calling because you're dru-" his laugh was as intoxicating as the liquor he had sipped on some minutes ago. "Doll,listen...i need a ride...and since your dad is our manager,it would be greatly appreciated if you came for me..." a sigh left your lips as you hang up on him.
But Jungkook didn't stop pestering you. The drummer of V2J was a pain in the ass. As shy and awkward he was in his sober times,his horndog behaviour was equalising if not surpassing his normal behaviour when he was thrashed.
You picked up the call one more time when the familiar ringtone went off. "Hey,why are you so rude,dollface? Don't you know hangin-" your words cut off his as soon as he was trying to do his monologue. "Jungkook. Like how you said it so cleverly,MY DAD is the manager. Not me. Pester him at 3 am if you have some difficulties to go home,not his daughter. Thank you. I have an exam in two days, i have to study tomorrow. Or today because at this point of the night i can't say tomorrow,so let me get the 2 hours of sleep i could still get tonight if i go to sleep in less than 10 minutes.. Leave me alone. Call Taehyung or something,i don't care. Now please don't call me again. Thanks." Then the tune of the "Hang Up" option resonated in your room once again.
Truth be told, if it would've been the first time he calls you and asks you for help at 3 in the morning,you would've helped his dumbass out,but it wasn't the case. Whenever Jungkook had some nightly problems, you were the first target in his contact list. It wasn't the first time he called you to pick him up from somewhere or to let him stay at your place for the night because he lost his keys to his appartment after a wild escapade with his bandmates to the nearest club. And it never ended with him only sleeping on your couch. It usually started at the front door and ended with him sleeping an arm around you after fucking your brains out. If he had been serious about this whole weird relationship you had, it would've been official for more than a year now,but he has to keep his rockstar persona intact. So of course,you were nothing more than the daughter of his manager who was good enough to be fucked when he was drunk or high.
At 3:36,someone rang at the interphone of your home. When you got up from your bed with a huff,you were already seeing the tatted up boy's smirk on the camera in a mental image. And you weren't wrong. His smirk was present as soon as the little screen had lit up with his face so close to it,you though he was a toddler seeing an interphone for the first time in his life. "You really came here at 3 and a half? Jeon,for fucks sake. If i get down there,i'mma beat some sense into you,so you better start running now." He simply laughed,a noise of exasperation leaving his throat. "Aw...come on (Y/n)...let me in,i lost my keys..."
You pushed on the key button,you let him in again. At this point it was exthausing because you knew what this meant. And even if you wanted to deny it,your brain wanted this to stop,but your heart was yearning for him. "I swear to god Jungkook,if you come here again at 3 am,i will stick a pipe up your ass." You unlocked the door for him and let him enter your home.
Fatal mistake because he didn't even answer,he simply pushed you against the wall and looked into your eyes,foreheads touching. "And why would you do that sweetheart? Hm? I thought you liked when i come here...for you." You can't deny it,you fell for him over the months,you fell for this idiot who liked banana milk more than anything else,who drank whisky with more cola than he should because he hated alcohol but wanted to keep his bad boy persona. But the smell of a woman on him made your heart sink. "Jungkook,please...just go and take of your shoes,i will bring you a blanket and a pillow so you can sleep on the couch."
He took your words in a hurtful way,his expression changed from flirty to genuinely hurt. "So...we aren't sleeping together like always?" You scoffed and got out of his grip. "I don't even know why i let you in. If you wanted to get your dick sucked again,you could've called one of your groupies." You disappeared in your room to search for a blanket and pillow,not that you deemed him deserving of such comfort,but he was also keen to be shivering at night without a blanket so it would be better for him to get some warmth during the dark hours. With a shaky breath,you went back to the living room and placed the pillow and comforter on the couch. "(Y/n)...what's the matter?" No answer. You didn't want to answer his question,he wasn't worthy for an answer,but his insistance was made clear when he took your hand into his and brought you closer to him. "Please...(Y/n)...answer me,i'm getting worried at this point,what's the matter?" Inhaling some fresh oxygen as the lump in your throat was only getting tighter,it finally dawned on you. You were in love with him. "Why'd you only call me when you're high?" The tears started to sting in your eyes,the drummer looked at you with a questioning expression. "High? What do you mean?" "Why'd you only call me and come here when your high?" After repeating your previous question,your voice cracked and all tears were let to flow down on your cheeks. "What? (Y/n) i really don't understand what you're talking about." "Why are you only showing interest in me when you're drunk and need to empty your balls. Is it more clear like that?" Jungkook's heart cracked at the sight of you crying because of him. He didn't want you to fall for him,not when he's at the peak of his career,but it would be a lie to say he didn't feel something for you.
"(Y/n)...come on,you know i can't be with someone. I thought that we both made this clear." His tattoed arms were still securely wrapped around you,stroking your back in the hopes of the action giving you some comfort,but as soon as you looked up to him with teary eyes,he couldn't help but let his waterworks flow too. Truth be told,Jungkook hated to see you sad,as awkward as the situation was right now,he hated seeing the one he fell for sad. "No,you made it clear for yourself. You're always acting nice with me,always closing any distance we had between us...no matter how hard i try to stay away from you,you suffocate me...if it was with hatred,it would be better,but it isn't. You're always here to fuck me up then rebuild me once you're sober. I fucking hate you for making me fall for you but i hate myself more for letting myself fall for you."
Your words were stinging. Even poisonous to his ears. Did you really hate him? And as much as it hurt him,it hurt you the same. You never really saw someone else in the hopes of being his one day,you won't blame it on him because you were the one in control of your own life,but every step you declined from someone else was to aliment the hope of being his one day. "I'm sorry...(Y/n)...i...i know you like me...but it won't work out. I do see you as more than just a friend with benefits,i do like you too...but...i can't be with you when i don't even know what tomorrow is made of." You tried to get out of his grip,but it only tightened and he brought your chin up with two fingers. "Listen,don't think i don't like you...if i didn't..you wouldn't be the first one i call to help me,fuck,i know i sound like an asshole for saying this but i do like you...i just..." he was getting ridiculous at this point and he knew it. "You just what? You don't want to miss out on someone else. I get it. You want your target list to be finished then crawl back to me when you're done." "(Y/n) it's not like tha-" you finally got out of his grip. "No. Don't say anything. I get it. But i won't be a second choice to anyone. Let alone you. Good night." You quickly wiped your tears away and went to your room,closing the door behind yourself,leaving Jungkook alone,in the dark living room.
He was tossing and turning for more than an hour now. You could hear it from your room how he was walking up and down the hall. 'I really fucked up.' he thought to himself and he wasn't wrong. You were probably the only person who would really go to hell and back for him and you were the only person he would do the same for. Then why was he acting like an asshole towards you now? Now that he was sure of your feelings,why did he have to break everything he tried to build? It couldn't end like that.
He softly knocked on your door,even if you told him to go away,he opened the door and lied down next to you,taking your body in his arms,nuzzling his face into the skin of your neck. "I'm sorry..." his soft lips placed a kiss on your neck and hands grabbed yours. "Sorry for what? For at least telling me the truth?" "(Y/n)...it's not like that...i just don't want to fuck things up. I prefer to fuck it up now than once we're together. I...i do love you...i heard the bells and the fireworks as soon as i saw you...but i don't want to fuck this up. Simply because i know how fans are,how groupies are. I prefer you seeing my fuckboy image than the real me,as much as i hate it though." You turned around,facing him,still in his clutch. "Well too late dumbass,i fell for the awkward and nice you,the one i see during studio hours,during practice,not this...whole flirty fuckboy persona that i get to see at every thursday at 3 am." He inhaled then kissed your forehead,bringing you closer to him. "It's too late for me to ask you to be my girlfriend...right? I don't want things to end...and,if the only way for me to stay with you is to put that image aside,i'm willing to do it." You sighed. He was still in the wrong. You didn't want him to change for you,but for him. To be himself again. "Jungkook,you don't understand...i want you to be you. I don't want you to rush into things because you don't want to lose me. Plus,you might not like a relationship,so if you don't want one right now,then leave me alone and don't make me fall for you more."
He shut you up before you could go on your monologue with a kiss. Not a rushed one like usually. But a soft one. One that tasted like cigarettes,monster,alcohol and love. "I love you...and starting a relationship now...or in 5 years...it won't change shit...no matter what i think now. I...after thinking about it...what you said...you're right. If i don't jump in right now...what will it change in 2 or 5 years? Nothing...i will still be the same if i don't change now." His frown turned into a small smile when he felt your nose in his neck,a light peck on his skin and your hands on his back. "So...you really want to start something with me...out of love and not out of pity?" He smacked the back of your head,out of habit but also out of outrage,he didn't want you to think he was doing this out of pity. "You dumbass,i want to be with you. I really want to. Out of love. Not because i pity you. You are probably the only person who would accept my headassery...and i love you. So please...don't ever think i would do this brcause of pity." You simply laughed,still sniffing a little bit and cupped his cheeks. "Good,because...i love you too." He kissed you first,again. Now with more passion though. His hands roaming around your back and ribcage,then on your waist,he couldn't help but pull you closer,until it couldn't be done anymore. "I know you do...now...shouldn't we sleep..? Because it's half past five...and you have to wake up at 10 so you can study..." You kissed his neck once more then placed your head on his chest. "It's already almost 6..might as well watch some cartoons and eat breakfast,no?" Jungkook's face lit up like a child's at the candy store. "Now i know why i heard the bells and the fireworks when i saw you."
I hope you guys enjoyed this,i kinda made it longer than most of my writings,but i still hope it's okay!
My requests are always open,so please,if you have something to request,i am more than happy to do it!
#bts#bts scenarios#bts imagines#jungkook#bts au#jungkook scenarios#jeon jungkook#bts angst#bts fluff#rockstar bts au#drummer au#bts drummer au#jungkook drummer au
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fav lines tag
RULES: share your favorite sentence/paragraph from each one of your fics and tag 6 other fic writers to do it too :)
tagged by the talented brilliant incredible @foxmagpie (💖)
tagging: @pynkhues @hypermania @bethsuglywigs @riosnecktattoo @missmaxime @sothischickshe @joeyjoeylee
some ground rules: I’m only doing brio fic bc at some point when I wasn’t paying attention I wrote a metric fuckton of it and we’re already gonna be here all day bc my other ground rule is I’m allowed to interpret the concept of a line however i want. i’m also gonna tell you why i picked them bc no one can stop me. cool? cool. good talk.
your monster looks like mine
okay so my first choice for fav would be the entire ~conversation around whether or not beth had a choice when she set rio up bc oooof I just love how that came out so! much! BUT if I’m limiting myself to something closer to a line, I’m going with this one. i love what it establishes for rio’s emotional state when it comes to beth, i love how it captures their push/pull constant one upping battle, I love the rhythm of the flow of it and the grandiose verbiage (i was having a frankly unreasonable amount of fun with natural phenomena imagery throughout the whole fic and this captures a bit of it). idk I just think it’s neat.
The words rip through him, a bright, blazing comet trail whipped across his sky, illuminatin’ his landscape, impossible to ignore.
Elizabeth’s spread out on the bed below him, golden hair tumblin’ around her face, mouth red and swollen, lookin’ up at him like she’s got him. Like she’s figured some shit out. Like she fuckin’ did something by putting that together.
Like Rio doesn’t fuckin’ know. Like that doesn’t fuckin’ haunt him, torment him, mock him every time she pulls some of her bullshit and he’s left picking up the pieces, knowin’ damn well what the right answer is but also knowin’ he’s always gonna be wrong when it comes to her.
--
a song inside the halls of the dark
another one where I’d pick a whole scene if I could BUT if the whole opening flashback isn’t on the table (idk I love it for 14,000 reasons including how it sets up the bookend structure for the chapter, how it sets up a bunch of the final payoffs, the tone of it, idk everything about it came out exactly how I wanted it to and I really love how it tees up the ending), then I’m going with this bit from the final brio scene. it ties back in a whole bunch of threads that have been woven in and out all the way back to the first chapter and closes them out in a way that also feels (to me) like a beginning which I love bc the whole theme of the chapter is it’s a beginning, not the end.
What does it mean then, that he’s slept so soundly beside her?
The playhouse glows softly. She wonders how many more times she can get away with sanding it before it weakens past the point of supporting the kids’ weight and the whole thing collapses.
Behind it, she can see the long shadow it casts reaching for the boxwoods bordering the yard. The lines of the structure frame windows of bright moonlight on the grass, eerily reminiscent of the windows that loomed large in the nightmares Beth abruptly realizes she hasn’t had in weeks. Not since that last night at Rio’s loft. And that’d been the last one since...his car. Canada. The night all of this started.
Beth blinks. What does it mean that she’s slept so soundly beside him?
A-live, alive, alive, I—
Her breath catches.
—
pills’n’potions
I don’t have any grand reasoning for why I picked this bit from the 4th (i think?) ~ch as my fav, I just really like writing annie and rio interacting and I especially love writing them with annie like, intellectually aware that she should probably be afraid of him but also spiritually incapable of not being herself and rio being wildly annoyed by it
"What?" He asks, giving the t an edge sharp enough to cut.
There's a pause. "What like you didn't hear me, or what like what do I want?"
[...]
"Hello?"
Now the sister sounds like she's getting annoyed, and Rio's really gotta do somethin' about the two of them runnin' 'round actin' like he's someone they can get away with not takin' seriously. Like he's some sort of pet. Defanged. Declawed. Fuckin' neutered.
"Get to the point."
"I mean, I kind of did in the message."
—
trade my heart for honey
the only thing sexier than rio being good at pool is beth being a fucking shark and rio being out of control turned on by it.
Dropping all pretense at being less than she is, Beth grabs the cue ball, positioning it slightly to the left of center where the felt is slightly more worn. Even without the tell, she's seen Rio put it there enough times to know it's the table's sweet spot. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Rio shift his weight before she tunes him out entirely, drawing the stick back and letting it fly.
It's as close to a perfect break as she's probably ever managed. The cue ball connects dead on, scattering the rest far and wide. The one and the six drop neatly into pockets, the four and five coming to a stop right on the edge of the left side and far left corner, nearly closing off that whole side of the table.
Every stripe remains in play.
"Solids," she says, not letting herself dwell on the way Rio's mouth hangs slightly open, his eyes glazed over.
—
swaying evergreens
the whole theme of this fic is the terrifying intimacy and vulnerability of sharing your most precious moments and memories with someone you care about and I like how this touches on that along with sort of nutshelling the double edged sword of grief-tinted memory which is another major theme
There's somethin' extra about these unguarded moments. That Elizabeth trusts Rio enough to drop her guard completely and give him this completely unvarnished look at her. It's been over a year since he's been back in her bed, since the first time he'd slept here, but there's still somethin' tentative about it. Like there's a part of him that's never going to be all the way over the first time he'd been here, that can't fully believe how far they've come, that this isn't going to crumble, melt, drain away.
Truthfully, Rio doesn't mind it, that faint edge. He's well acquainted with the different flavors of loss, and the threat of it's a counterpoint that keeps him sharp. Lets him know this is real but not somethin' he'll take for granted.
—
swear on a silver knife
there were a couple of sexy tension bits that made for strong contenders but ultimately this won bc I’m obsessed with how this reference to 306 came out.
“I told you. I got my own debts to pay.” He bit off the words like it cost him something to repeat them.
Beth shivered, abruptly right back at that picnic table, cheeks wet and staring at him, searching for any hint of the man she’d—she’d—anyone besides the cold, unfeeling stranger sitting beside her, blood so fresh on his hands she could nearly smell it underneath the scent of the cold, misty night rain falling around them, blurring her eyes, beading in her hair and on his eyelashes.
—
listening through the air shaft
this was a really hard one to narrow down but I ultimately went with this but bc I love it for a culminating look at how beth and rio’s relationship has evolved throughout the fic and also bc a version of this scene was the first thing I wrote for the whole fic so it was fun to finally get there with everything in place behind it. I also just love it as a reference for the dichotomy of both beth and rio and also how complicated that is makes being around them for everyone else
They aren't even doing anything, just quietly working side by side, but there's a synchronicity to their movements, a quiet peace that makes Dean feel more like an intruder than anything else that's happened today, and he hates it.
It’s so far from the guy that’d broken into his home, beaten him up. Who’d looked at him with those terrifying, blank, shark eyes before casually shooting him in the chest like it was nothing right where they’re about to sit down and share a meal.
A guy, Dean suddenly realizes, he hasn’t seen any hint of in a long, long time. It’s not that he doesn’t think that part of him isn’t there, it’s just...it’s weird, is all, how completely he puts it away.
It reminds Dean of Beth, actually, now that he’s thinking about it.
God. They look so...so domestic. Sweet. Disarming in a way that completely undermines everything Dean thought he'd known about the guy and their whole...thing.
He just—he doesn't get it, what Beth sees in him.
—
now use both hands
idk I just like this bit let me live
"What are you—what service?"
He makes himself take the route through the showroom that brings him right past her, leaning in and softly brushing a lock of hair out of her face for the first time in longer than he can remember.
Her eyes flutter shut, and he feels absolutely nothing.
"Helping sad, lonely housewives get off once their husbands are done with them."
Her eyes snap open, and he makes himself look at her long enough to watch the hit land and the hurt bloom.
He's empty, untouchable, she's nothing to him.
Rio doesn't look back.
—
I'd give her a HA! And a HI-YA!
you can take my made up backstory for rio and mick from me when you pry it from my cold dead hands.
Mick had been there the first time Rio'd had to get his hands all the way dirty and had kept an eye on him when he'd gotten blackout drunk after, and Rio'd done the same for him. Every bloody, grimy step Rio'd climbed, Mick had been right there with him, watching his back all the way to the top.
The point is Rio's Mick's brother in every way that counts.
Mick'd seen him twisted up over business and twisted up over personal shit, but he's never seen him let both get twisted up like he had since that fuckin' weasel Boomer'd got his ass handed to him and Rio'd gotten curious about it.
—
as the world turns, the blunt burns
I pull this every time I have to pick a fav and I can’t even really explain it aside from I think I’m really, really funny and that’s enough
Beth suddenly sobers as much as she can when she feels like she's simultaneously floating away and sinking into the Earth and wipes her eyes. "Are you gonna get in trouble?"
"You're in the house, ain't you?" He's answering Beth but looking at Rio.
"Mick," Beth frantically tugs at his pant leg because apparently, he doesn't have all of the information. "We're in the yard."
"Yeah, Mick," Rio says, glaring. "You're in the yard."
Mick shrugs, and Beth realizes he isn't scared of Rio at all. That's a neat trick. How does he do that? Maybe he can teach her.
—
smoke, fire, it’s all going up
there are realistically many other better lines in this fic but this one never fails to make me laugh so it remains my fav.
"You- you-" She sputters at him, flailing around a little. "You were the one that started mailing me pieces of a dead body."
"You blocked my number." Rio snarls, which is not what he'd meant to say, and he hates that she trips him up.
"That is not a proportionate response!"
—
got a kiss (with your name on it)
it was this or the text exchange at the beginning of the fic bc I strongly believe established relationship brio would continually roast each other for their past dumbassery but the elizabeth kink won out
"Come here," Rio's voice is thick but insistent in a way that brings every cell of Beth's body to attention. She hooks her thumb over her bottom teeth and drags her lower lip a little, a gesture full of who me mock innocence, waiting for him to say-
"Elizabeth." There it is.
There's an endless amount of things that Beth finds ferociously, irresistibly sexy about Rio, but when he says her full name in that commanding tone? Even if she's pissed the fuck off and has no intention of doing what he wants, it gives her goosebumps.
—
say it’s all in my head (i remember what you said)
I will be real with y’all, I forget I wrote this fic a lot of the time hahahaha but! that means every time I’m reminded I go back and am like oh yeah! I like this! anyway there isn’t like, one specific but I really love most as much as I really like the tentative breathless nervousness and then also overwhelming so muchness and I like how this but captures both of those
For a single, breathless moment, she stands in the middle of the room, alone and terrified.
Then Rio wets his lips and comes towards her, moving with that languid grace she's never been able to look away from even before she had any idea why that could be.
All of the fear collapses like a dying star, sending a supernova of relief and molten heat zinging through her from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. Her head swims, and every cell in her body feels like it's leaning towards him- like she's made of magnets on a molecular level and he's the lodestone.
He gently pushes her bangs off of her forehead, slowly running his fingertip down the side of her face, leaving a trail of fire in its wake. He tilts his head towards hers and stops, going no further than halfway, leaving it up to her to close the distance.
She lets her eyes fall shut as she leans into him and tentatively touches her mouth to his for the first time.
—
the world is on fire (and no one can save me) / what a wicked game you played (to make me feel this way)
two for one!!! idk if either of these is my number one favorite line from either fic individually but I really like how they both play together. I like writing beth and rio pov and having them mirror each other’s narration both in thought and structure a lot bc I like thinking of them as two versions of the same
Beth checks her phone, nothing from Rhea, and sends a quick I'm here, text me when you're close, and I'll grab a table before wetting a paper towel and wiping away the last of her smeared mascara. With precise, brisk movements, she snaps open her bag and fishes out her compact, her lipstick, and her mascara; lining them up click, click, click on the tiny shelf below the mirror.
She can live with this; she has to live like this; she will live like this.
She flips open the compact and methodically dabs away the flush and pallor and shadows that are not grief, are not loss, are not anything other than shock and horror that she'd gone so far, that she'd lost control, that she'd killed a man (that man).
and
So what the fuck had he been doin' with Elizabeth fuckin' Boland, giving her chance after chance to cross the line? What the fuck was the point of a line if it might as well not be there at all? All because he liked her big blue eyes and the way she worked a tight sweater? Nah, that ain't him. That can't be him. That's the kind of shit that'll get you killed, and he's got three spent bullets in his pocket and a scar next to his heart if he ever needs the reminder again.
He shifts in the driver's seat, reaching into his pocket and fishing the bullets out. Lining them up on the dashboard with a definitive click, click, click. He looks past them to the brightly lit valet station. He's been parked in the back of the lot for ten minutes now, waiting for Rhea to give him the go sign. He ain't hiding, doesn't need to, Elizabeth ain't lookin' for him, he just wants to make sure he sees her before she sees him. Get a good look first, so he can size up the situation.
#good lord when did i write so much fic?????????#imagine if i hadn't onlly stuck w/ ch 12 of song#it would've taken me weeks to do this#tag games#my fic#shut up meg#gg related
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