#and guess what? here's what my dong looks like

[lightseoul]

a/n. currently watching single's inferno s4 and this is how it's going. inspired by that exchange between dong ho and a rin. specifically, dong ho's smile during. what the hell am i talking about. (0.9k)

“you really didn’t have to drive me all the way here, you know.”

you plop down on the spot right next to bakugou, who wordlessly takes the mug of tea you’re offering with a half-hearted glare.

“then decline the next time,” is his snarky retort.

you playfully roll your eyes, burrowing further into the plush cushion of your sofa beneath you, hands cupping your own beverage. “you say that as if you’ll let me commute this late.”

a tsk. “it’s called having a heart of gold, you idiot.”

you hum noncommittally, gaze fixed on the tv in front of you. “camie sure does think you have one, huh?”

when he doesn’t say anything for a beat, you chance a peek at the man, and sure enough, he’s looking at you like you just shat yourself. “hah?”

“camie?” you repeat, hoping the creeping embarrassment isn’t showing on your face. “the girl who—”

“i know who she is,” he spews defensively, before raising an eyebrow. “what about her?”

“you seem to go way back, based on how she regarded you tonight,” you quickly explain.

he stares at you for a second, as if trying to figure out why the hell you’re talking about utsushimi camie of all people, ultimately settling with a lazy shrug. “i guess? we ran into each other a few times back in ua.”

and when you don’t immediately respond: “why?”

“nothing,” you supply, before: “i mean, i could tell she’s generally a bubbly and outgoing person just from dinner, but the way she behaved around you was…how should i say—different, i guess?”

the pro-hero lets out a grunt, which is bakugou katsuki for keep going.

so you do. “for one, she seemed eager to sit beside you, even though yoarashi-san was the one to arrange the hangout, and i think you mentioned in passing once that she thinks shouto’s attractive.”

unsurprisingly, that grants you a side-eye. you backtrack.

“not that a girl wanting to sit beside you is unfathomable, but—”

“the fuck are you getting at, dumbass?”

you huff. “i’ll get there if you just let me talk!”

he shoots you another glare, before tossing you a curt nod. “fine.”

you fight back the urge to punch his arm. “as i was saying,” you enunciate, “there was something…remarkable about how she was acting.”

“how so?”

you ponder for a moment, not minding how the question just now was too sarcastic for your taste. “well, i didn’t really see her arrive because i was at the restroom, but she seemed to deflate when i came back and took my seat beside you. almost as if she was eyeing the spot.”

“you’re fucking imagining things.”

“okay, gaslighter. anyway, it wasn’t just that. her mood went back up a notch when you introduced me—so reluctantly it was embarrassing, by the way—as your best friend.”

he scoffs. “you’re the one who tagged along.”

“shouto invited me, you dickhead.” you frown, “when he called you this afternoon and i said hi, remember? he said you could bring me with you.”

“he was just being polite, that pretty boy.”

“and you’re being a fucking downer,” you quip, before crossing your arms in front of your chest like a petulant child. “i don’t know what camie sees in you.”

“hah?”

“see?” you exclaim, flinging your arms in frustration, “you’re not getting it because you’re not letting me finish. i have no idea how you didn’t notice, but her body was facing you the entire evening! she kept redirecting the conversation to you, too, asking you all sorts of questions.”

you’re not looking at him anymore, eyes darting all over the place as you continue. “and her giggles, man, you weren’t even being funny, but she was laughing like you had keke palmer’s humor, or something.”

“i don’t know if you’re feigning ignorance or just flat-out oblivious, which i doubt you are, but seriously, man,” you rasp, “i can’t believe i’m the one who has to do this, but open your eyes. the girl likes you. and—are you smiling?”

you cut yourself off, the jarring sight of bakugou grinning at you erasing every viable thought in your brain.

if you didn’t know any better, you’d think the guy is fucking amused.

you scowl at him. “the fuck are you smiling about?”

“nothin’,” he claims, although his lips are still pulled taut to the sides.

you shoot him a deadpan look, which causes him to let out a soft chuckle.

he shakes his head, shifting in his seat. “it’s just—i don’t know…”

“don’t know what?” you ask, brows furrowed.

“don’t know how you picked up on all this shit.”

your response is instantaneous. “it’s called having eyes, you idiot.”

if he’s even marginally annoyed at your semi-quoting him, he doesn’t let it show. instead, you can only watch in bewilderment as a faint tinge of pink starts to color his cheeks.

“yeah, well, i didn’t even notice any of that.”

“how?”

a glower.

“because i was just looking at you, dipshit.”

˖⁺‧₊ as always, reblogs, replies, and tags are appreciated <3 feel free to drop an ask, too—i'd love to chat with you. have a nice day!

tagging. @bunnysaursushii @yawnzzzzzzzz @cholios @kashee-h @iluv-ace @lotuslovers @elarakive @sugurusmoon @napbatata @k0z3me @h0ngh0ngh0ng @honeyoru @yoongiwithglasses @hellokitty-doll @lilsebnem @tetsuukuroo @crangrapel0ver @syrhra @qyuin

[mammoncritical]

I'VE COME TO MAKE AN ANNOUCEMENT, STOLASS THE BITCHASS GOETIA HAS PISSED ON MY WIFE, THAT'S RIGHT! HE TOOK HIS NOT EXISTENT DICK OUT AND HE PISSED ON MY FUCKING WIFE! HE SAID HIS DICK WAS "T H I S B I G" AND I SAID "T H A T S D I S G U S T A N G!" SO I MADE A CALL OUT POST ON MY HELLBLR.COM, STOLASS GOETIA YOU GOT A SMALL DICK ITS THE SIZE OF THIS WALNUT EXCEPT WAY SMALLER! AND GUESS WHAT? HERES WHAT MY DONG LOOKS LIKE PFFFFFFFT THATS RIGHT BABY ALL SWAG, NO LS, SKIDBI RIZZ OMEGA SUPREME SWAG! LOOK AT THAT! IT LOOKS LIKE TWO BALLS AND A BONG! HE FUCKED MY WIFE SO GUESS WHAT? I'M GONNA FUCK THE EARTH! THAT'S RIGHT THATS WHAT YOU GET MY SUUIUUUUUUUUUUUUPER LAZZZZERRRR PISS! EXCEPT IM NOT GONNA PISS ON THE EARTH! I'M GONNA GO HIGHER IM PISSING ON THE MOON! I'M PISSING ON THE MOON! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, JOE BIDEN? I PISSED ON THE MOON YOU IDIOT! YOU HAVE 23 HOURS BEFORE THE PISS DROPLETS HIT THE FUCKING EARTH NOW GET OUT OF MY SIGHT BEFORE I PISS ON YOU TOO.

[westaysilly]

i love all my mutuals a lot !!!! except for @elizakai FUCK @elizakai PUBLIC EXECUTION for @elizakai

[therewillbenoromance]

Rate my blog themee

10/10. it gets the message [that you're going to piss on the moon] across very clearly

[sec0nd-breakfast]

With Jim Carrey both playing the Grinch and Dr. Eggman in Sonic, he has not only managed to bring two of the most iconic cartoon characters to life, but he also became the bridge between Millenial and GenZ pop-culture and comedy. In this essay I will...

[aleppothemushroom]

HE PISSED ON MY FUCKING WIFE!

[nostalgic-muffins]

.

[martlet-of-snowdin]

I'VE COME TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT!

-Eggman

[imanflexington]

Yeah I get it, it's mufasa, he's a pivotal character to millions of people's childhood, he's part of the worlds most successful musical, but he has an announcement to make.

[ashwii]

How does donnie feel about eggman pissing on the moon? /reference

JWHEHEBW PLEASE, donnie does not appreciate it 😩😩

[glitched-out-mess]

SHADOW THE HEDGEHOGS A BITCH ASS MOTHERFUCKER

HE PISSED ON MY FUCKING WIFE

[encryptedbread]

Just saw sonic three early, loved the scene where Eggman was on his moon base and said

"I'll be right back, I've gotta go take a piss, afterwards I'll make my announcement to the world"

(Apparently there's a tag limit, so I couldn't put the full thing in the tags

[microwavethemicrowave]

Fun Microwave Fact:

I'm not "actually" in new Mexico. That was prop of Ganda they made to try to connect me to Walty whited.

[cy6net]

:3

[1taco-muncher-420]

draw

[hellsitegenetics]

I’ve come to make an announcement: Shadow the Hedgehog’s a bitch ass mother fucker. He pissed on my fucking wife. That’s right, he took his hedgehog fuckin' quilly dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife, and he said his dick was THIS BIG. And I said “that’s disgusting!” So I’m making a callout post on my twitter dot com: "Shadow the Hedgehog, you got a small dick, it’s the size of this walnut except WAY smaller." And guess what, here’s what my dong looks like: PFFFFFFFFGJT. That’s right baby. All point, no quills, no pillows, look at that it looks like two balls and a bong. He fucked my wife so guess what, I’m gonna FUCK THE EARTH. THATS RIGHT THIS IS WHAT YOU GET, MY SUPER LAZER PISS. Except I’m not gonna piss on the earth, I’m gonna go higher. I’m pissing on the MOOOOOON! How do you like that, OBAMA? I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT! You have twenty-three hours before the piss d r o p l e t s hit the fucking earth, now get out of my fucking sight before I piss on you too!

String identified: ’ c t a a act: a t gg’ a tc a t c. cg . Tat’ gt, t gg c' c t a cg , a a c a T G. A a “tat’ gtg!” ’ ag a cat t ttt t c: "a t gg, gt a a c, t’ t t at ct A a." A g at, ’ at g : GT. Tat’ gt a. A t, , , at tat t t a a a g. c g at, ’ ga C T AT. TAT GT T AT GT, A . ct ’ t ga t at, ’ ga g g. ’ g t ! tat, AA? T , T! a tt-t t t t t cg at, gt t cg gt t!

Closest match: Molanna angustata genome assembly, chromosome: 4 Common name: Hood casemaker fly