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dude you look so fuckin sick. no, literally, you look ill. you look diseased. it's kinda hot though, come closer

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Opening a tarot booster pack i got 4 common Towers and one holographic Death

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Maybe a little too familiar

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i still think about this time in high school when i was playing Tribes Ascend and someone in the match had a ping of 2000, like, 2 actual real-life seconds, and someone on my team said "holy shit there is life on mars... and it plays Tribes"

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come to yubway and try a five dollar yootlong

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we need to invent a way to explain how deep running and pervasive and subliminal racism and antiblackness is without immediately sounding like an insane conspiracy theorist

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the weed dispensaries should ask if you would like to round up your purchase to donate to PBS. and if you say yes you get to scan a QR code that gives you 30-day free access to the full run of antiques roadshow. this is how drugs can win the war on drugs again.

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"um, no, I don't think we live in some sort of fanservice AU where each house has a device you must strip down to use" I say as I confidently step into the shower fully clothed.

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Yesterday a kid said to me "excuse me? Your hair looks like beautiful anime hair" which is already amazing and then she said "watch me on your camera when I go down the slide I'm going to do the Peter Griffin death pose when I come out" and she sure did.

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"what if you regret it" what if I don't?

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if i worked at nintendo i would try so hard to make it canon that mario and luigi are red/green colourblind and think theyre wearing the exact same outfit

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choking a girl's dick is known to improve mental health btw