#MY SUPER LASER PISS

[westaysilly]

i love all my mutuals a lot !!!! except for @elizakai FUCK @elizakai PUBLIC EXECUTION for @elizakai

[yugiohmangaoutofcontext]

[martlet-of-snowdin]

I'VE COME TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT!

-Eggman

[microwavethemicrowave]

Fun Microwave Fact:

I'm not "actually" in new Mexico. That was prop of Ganda they made to try to connect me to Walty whited.

[phisaya]

@fizzarolli​ | from here

   "Hey,  yeah;  you're CUTE!"

"YOU EVER PEED ON CAM BEFORE?"

"Ah...I haven’t!” What a way to start a conversation!

[adderall-juice]

I've come to make an announcement

[disappointingcabbage]

I watched some of snapcube’s sonic fandubs and now I can’t stop thinking about how much of a bitch ass motherfucker shadow the hedgehog is and I think I’m going to piss on the moon about it.

[1taco-muncher-420]

draw

[ssparksflyy]

i cannot remember if i already sent in a request, my apologies if i did. but could i get a percy x daughter of dionysus boyfriend headcanons

ask and thou shall receive ༉‧₊˚.

percy jackson dating hcs! ๋࣭ ⭑⚝

pairing: percy jackson x daughter of dionysus!reader warning(s): alcohol, teensy bit of underage drinking a/n: hellooo! dw pooks u didnt send it already <33 sorry this took me a sec to get out, school SUCKS

WE WERE IN THE BACKSEAT DRUNK ON SOMETHING STRONGER THAN THE DRINKS IN THE BAR

im not kidding though. percy's literally so in love with you that he feels drunk

he gets super smiley and giggly when he talks about you

im talking actually twirling his hair and kicking his feet goodnight

and the poor new camper he's supposed to be showing around literally just wants to learn where the restroom is

he seizes up any opportunity to talk about you methinks

someone could be like

" look at that (f/c) flower! its so pretty!!"

and percy, who's like 12 feet away would run up like

"DID YOU KNOW (F/C) IS (NAMES)'S FAVORITE COLO-"

at this point half the camp knows your entire life story

honestly. pollux loves percy.

he sees how happy he makes you and how well he treats you and is just like 'awwww'

DEFINITELY TEASES YOU THOUGHHH

he also definitely doesn't see percy sneak into your cabin. no siree he doesnt. hes sleeping. goodnight.

( castor also loved him. ILY KING. 😭 )

mr d on the other hand...

literally surprised he hasn't turned him into a dolphin yet

one day he will

but like say you guys are just happily walking around camp, holding hands, being cute , the usual.

when like suddenly you turn to the big house and see your PISSED dad DEATHSTARING you guys. oh hell no.

AND PERCY DOES NOT HELPPPP.

he'll literally look mr d straight in the eye. then turn to you and give you a long kiss. right in front of him.

chiron has had to hold him back countless times

like there was one time when you walked out of cabin 12 together and mr.d saw

he was FUMING

he's seen you walk out of cabin 3 before, BUT CABIN 12?? HIS CABIN????

percy's ass was grass.

literally.

you two were sitting together on the grass, just chatting, and percy could not get uppp

there were vines literally tying him to the ground

you were laughing so hard and he was PANICKING. RIPTIDE WOULD NOT CUT THEMMM.

eventually when you stopped laughing you were able to get the vines to retreat, but percy is still scared to sit in the grass, so all picnic dates have been moved to the lake ♡

whenever youre practicing making wine and like have to taste test it, percy always takes a sip with you

cause obviously you gotta taste it and make sure your actually improving, so you both take a little sip together

it's his own way of saying that he trusts you and your talents

he absolutely adores picking strawberries with you

sometimes you'll help out the demeter kids and bring percy along

and hes just like speed running it i swear

you dont even know why. like he's just laser-focused

apparently, he doesn't know either, it just happens 🤷‍♀️

at the end of the day, when youre done picking strawberries, you'll sneak a few in your pocket and share them with percy ♡

he doesn't care if he's developing back problems from being hunched over in the fields all day, your strawberry kisses are worth it ♡

[trashanstuff]

MY SUPER LASER PISS

manifesting for stone to have his main villain arc🕯️🕯️🕯️

I’m starting to lose hope here

Reference from this

[hellsite-proteins]

Hi, im sorry if this violates no nsfw but i thought i might try coz its been an old meme; delete if you dont want to ans it, no pressure!

I've come to make an announcement: Shadow the Hedgehog's a bitch-ass motherfucker. He pissed on my fucking wife. That's right. He took his hedgehog fuckin' quilly dick out and he pissed on my FUCKING wife, and he said his dick was THIS BIG, and I said that's disgusting. So I'm making a callout post on my Twitter.com. Shadow the Hedgehog, you got a small dick. It's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller. And guess what? Here's what my dong looks like. That's right, baby. Tall points, no quills, no pillows, look at that, it looks like two balls and a bong. He fucked my wife, so guess what, I'm gonna fuck the earth. That's right, this is what you get! My SUPER LASER PISS! Except I'm not gonna piss on the earth. I'm gonna go higher. I'm pissing on the MOOOON! How do you like that, OBAMA? I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT! You have twenty-three hours before the piss DROPLETS hit the fucking earth, now get out of my fucking sight before I piss on you too!

tbh i'm not going to be super strict about the no nsfw thing, but i also don't entirely trust the internet and wanted to make sure no one would submit anything truly vile. this is more comedic than anything else though, so you're all good!

letter sequence in this ask matching protein-coding amino acids:

IvecmetmakeanannncementShadwtheHedgehgsaitchassmtherfckerHepissednmyfckingwifeThatsrightHetkhishedgehgfckinqillydicktandhepissednmyFCKINGwifeandhesaidhisdickwasTHISIGandIsaidthatsdisgstingSImmakingacalltpstnmyTwittercmShadwtheHedgehgygtasmalldickItsthesiefthiswalnteceptWAYsmallerAndgesswhatHereswhatmydnglkslikeThatsrightayTallpintsnqillsnpillwslkatthatitlksliketwallsandangHefckedmywifesgesswhatImgnnafcktheearthThatsrightthisiswhatygetMySPERLASERPISSEceptImntgnnapissntheearthImgnnaghigherImpissingntheMNHwdylikethatAMAIPISSEDNTHEMNYIDITYhavetwentythreehrsefrethepissDRPLETShitthefckingearthnwgettfmyfckingsightefreIpissnyt

protein guy analysis:

if you've been here long enough or have a general idea of what proteins are supposed to look like, i'm sure you could write this analysis from looking at the picture for about two seconds. all i have to say is this: why is it so spread out??? the answer, of course, is that all of the many polar and charged residues are way too hydrophilic to make anything real, and instead are just flopping around uselessly with all the water. proteins were never meant to have this much entropy, and this chaos is downright infuriating

predicted protein structure:

[enbyfrogz]

I've come to make an announcement; Jesse Minecraft Story Mode is a bitch ass motherfucker, they pissed on my fucking wife. Thats right, they took their cube ass pixel dick out and they pissed on my fucking wife, and they said their dick was "This big" and I said that's disgusting, so I'm making a callout post on my minecraft server mod chat, Jesse Minecraft Story Mode, you've got a small dick, it's the size of this mushroom except WAY smaller, and guess what? Here's what my dong looks like: PFFFT, THAT'S RIGHT, BABY. ALL 4080 HD, NO SQUARES, NO PIXELS. Look at that, it looks like two balls and a lever. They fucked my wife so guess what? I'm gonna fuck the World. THAT'S RIGHT THIS IS WHAT YOU GET, MY SUPER LASER PISS! Except I'm not gonna piss on the world. I'm gonna go higher. I'M PISSING ON THE MOON! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, OBAMA? I PISSED ON THE MOON YOU IDIOT! YOU HAVE 23 HOURS BEFORE THE PISS DROPLETS HIT THE FUCKING WORLD NOW GET OUT OF MY SIGHT BEFORE I PISS ON YOU TOO.

[snailstrailz]

I've come to make an announcement; Wreck it Ralph's a bitch ass motherfucker, he pissed on my fucking wife! Thats right, he took his warthog hairy dick out and he pissed on my fucking wife, and he said his dick was "This big" and I said that's DISGUSTING, so I'm making a callout post on my twitter dot com, Wreck it Ralph, you've got a small dick, it's the size of Sour Bill except WAY smaller, and guess what? Here's what my dong looks like: *explosion sounds* THAT'S RIGHT, BABY. ALL POINTS, NO HAIR, NO BRICKS. Look at that, it looks like two balls and a candy cane! He fucked my wife so guess what? I'm gonna fuck the Arcade. THAT'S RIGHT THIS IS WHAT YOU GET, MY SUPER LASER PISS! Except I'm not gonna piss on the arcade. I'm gonna go higher. I'M PISSING ON THE MOON! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, LITWAK? I PISSED ON THE MOON YOU IDIOT! YOU HAVE 23 HOURS BEFORE THE PISS DROP-LET-S HIT THE FUCKING ARCADE NOW GET OUT OF MY SIGHT BEFORE I PISS ON YOU TOO.

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for pissing on the moon?

S is a bitch ass motherfucker who pissed on my fucking wife. That's right, he took his hedgehog fuckin' quilly dick out and pissed on my fucking wife! And he said his dick was THIS BIG. And I said that's disgusting. So I'm making a callout post on my Twitter dot com. S, you got a small dick, it's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller.

And guess what? Here's what my dong looks like! That's right baby. All points, no quills, no pillows, look at that, it looks just like two balls and a bong!

He fucked my wife so guess what, I'm gonna fuck the earth! That's right, this is what you get: MY SUPER LASER PISS!! Except I'm not gonna piss on the earth, I'm gonna go higher. I'M PISSING ON THE MOOOOOOOON!!!! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, OBAMA? I PISSED ON THE MOON YOU IDIOT!

YOU HAVE TWENTY-THREE HOURS BEFORE THE PISS DROPLETS HIT THE FUCKING EARTH, SO GET OUT OF MY SIGHT BEFORE I FUCKING PISS ON YOU TOO!

[half-oz-eddie]

After Max snuck off one day, Steve brings her home right before Neil and Susan return.

Billy gives her and Steve shit about it on the porch, freezing up when Neil's car pulls into the driveway.

He notices the way Neil's normally hard and intimidating stare softens upon seeing Harrington in front of their house.

He greets him, shakes his hand, makes polite small talk with him and invites him in for dinner.

Steve glances over at Billy, noticing how he rolled his eyes and he politely declines.

"I really shouldn't—"

"I insist." Neil goads him, gently pushing him inside and leading him to the table. "Susan's cooking is divine."

Billy groaned. Of course, Steve was the golden boy everyone adored, even his own father. What was so perfect about him anyway?

Billy is imagining he can shoot lasers from his eyes at Steve, and Steve can feel the intention coming from Billy's glares.

He plans to leave early, but Neil offers him dessert, offers him a beer, asks if he wants to stay and watch the game.

Why the fuck's this guy being so nice to Steve?

Because the Harrington name holds so much prestige in Hawkins? Because it can help him get a promotion? What? What the fuck is it? It can't just be because of Steve.

Billy notices that Steve feels really awkward, but he's always been taught to be polite, so he does what any golden boy would do. He stays, he accepts Neil's kindness, he answers questions when asked.

Of course, Neil brings up Mr. Harrington, asking about his company and how it's doing.

His question seems really motivated and Billy's pissed off to the point of no return. He stands, politely excusing himself to his room.

"Don't you wanna watch the game, son?"

Son...?

Who in god's name was he talking to? Not me, Billy assumed.

Why was his voice so soft and his eyes so warm? That wasn't Neil. That wasn't Sir. Billy was afraid of this version of Neil and that warm smile that showed the crow's feet beside his beady, lying eyes.

Billy slowly sat back down next to Steve.

"Billy used to love baseball."

No I didn't.

"He lost interest. He's much better at basketball. Aren't you boys on the same team?"

"Yes, sir, we are." Steve nodded. "He's really good."

Neil laughed. "That's my boy."

What?! Am I in an alternate universe?

When the fever dream of a night ended, Neil told Billy to walk Steve to his car.

"Uh...See you at school?" Steve said uncertainly.

"Yeah." He watched Steve get into his car and walked back into his house.

Neil's warm, fake smile was gone, along with that soft welcoming voice.

It was all a facade, just as he'd assumed.

Neil ordered him to do the dishes, including Steve's. Nothing disgusted him more than cleaning up after Steve.

To make matters worse, this became a constant. Neil was letting Max's nerdy friends come over and Steve would pick them up, then circle back for dinner or a beer with Neil.

Neil would insist on including Billy, bragging about how strong, or how bright Billy was, bringing up the days in California, the very few good ones.

It pissed Billy off, but the nights Steve would come over, there was no shouting, no beatings and Neil was...nice.

Billy started passing notes to Steve at school, inviting him over, especially on Sundays so he didn't have to deal with Neil's bullshit on his day off.

At first, Steve would keep Neil out of Billy's hair, but then, Steve stopped by Billy's room to ask him why he always invited him over if he didn't wanna hang out.

"I thought maybe Neil'd like hanging out with you."

"So you invited me over to keep your dad company? Why don't you just hang out with him?"

"Because we don't get along. He's...he's not always like that." Billy quietly mumbled, hoping Neil didn't suddenly develop super hearing.

"Oh." Steve slowly shut the door. "So that's why you keep inviting me over?"

Billy shrugged.

"Well, Max told Dustin, and Dustin told me that your dad beats the hell out of you, that true?"

Billy's body tightened up and he went dead silent. "The fuck do you care?" He snapped.

"It's not cool." Steve sat on the floor across from Billy. "I don't wanna come here and keep hanging out with your dad. I kinda thought we were hanging out. That's why I would stay."

"You...wanted to hang out with me?" He skeptically narrowed his eyes.

"Yeah. I've been hoping we could get along for a change. I didn't know you were just using me to keep your dad out of your hair."

"I—I didn't think you'd wanna hang out with me. I thought you liked hanging out with Neil."

Steve laughed. "I don't hang out with old people."

"Yeah, you hang out with little kids instead."

"Shut up, I'm their babysitter. Those little shits are always getting into some kind of trouble."

"Whatever. So...d'you wanna like...hang...now?"

Steve nodded without hesitation. "Yeah. That's why I come here in the first place."

"You like Metallica?"

"No."

"Mötley Crüe?"

"Not really."

"Surfing?"

"Eh. Not really any beaches around."

Billy scoffed, shaking his head in disapproval. "The hell do you like?"

Steve pointed to a deck of cards on Billy's dresser. "Know how to play War?"

"Vaguely." Billy shrugged before grabbing the deck and handing it to Steve.

They played a few rounds of cards before they were laughing and shit-talking into the late hours of the night.

Neil didn't disturb them at all.

Dedicating this to @mangywayway since you're always being so kind when I'm feeling down. Tysm ❤️